Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 400- Haunt (2019)

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

EMTs, this is Episode 400. FOUR. HUNDRED. What kind of fun, special things can you expect in this episode as part of the celebration? Easy- NONE. We forgot. We completely forgot this milestone until we were done recording. Serious professionals here. Anyway, we hope you stick around for another 400 because we love you very much. Special topics for your consideration include: a film replete with things we would never ever do or even consider doing, a brief tour of Noah's Ark, characters who need not be named, and the sudden realization that some beers have higher alcohol content than others.  Like horror movies about haunted houses? You'll LOVE the "Hell House LLC" trilogy, Episodes 254, 256, and 258). And because we also love those movies, we'll be doing a "Hell House LLC" watchalong on Discord on Friday, October 21 at 9pm EST. We'll blast the info all over the internet and we hope you can make it! COGNETTI! In other fun event news, I am so incredibly excited for "Single White Female: the Musical" here in Pittsburgh at Bottlerocket on November 10th! If you're local, you do not want to miss this. Get your tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/single-white-female-the-musical-tickets-428631647797?aff=ebdsoporgprofile Would you like to tell us about things we're wrong about, things we're right about, or whatever is on your mind? You can call 412-407-7025 and lay it on us. Otherwise, find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie each month.  Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Hi Katie. Hi Alan, I just noticed that you have your candy corn charm on your crocks. What's that called again? They're called gibbets. But because this is not an official gibbet, it is known as a, uh, what, fuck, what are they, like, crock, jewel? Or something? Jule of the crock. Yeah, that was a gift of Friend of the podcast. Jim, Jim, that is the most on-brand thing I've ever seen. Thank you for getting that for Alan. My eyes just came to rest on it as we were clapping into this episode. I almost brought candy corn upstairs with us.

I was like, then we'll eat it and people will get mad. Yeah, I would not be able to restrain myself. No, but you got to plant those Halloween seeds in your tummy. I told my three-year-old niece that and her mother was like, what are you saying to her? And I wasah, ay. Katie. Alan. First and foremost, can I send a thank you out to a listener? I would love that.

Katie, you know I love giving my address out to people. Oh, for fuck's sake. You did it again, didn't you? Well, we received in the mail from Zachary V. Hi, Zachary V. Thanks for not coming over to Alan's house and murdering him. Was kind enough to get an autographed poster of the thing for us, signed by one Keith David. Really? Yes. That is awesome.

Yeah. Thank you, Zachary V. That's really nice because that makes me think that like, I don't know if Zachary V got two things for Keith David a sign? Or just used his one thing thing on us, his one, th............ th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. to to get thi, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to get to get, to get, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to get, to get to get to get to get to get nice because that makes me think that like, I don't know if Zachary V got two things for Keith David a sign, or just used his one thing on us, his one phone call. His one wish from Keith David. Listen, if you guys are ever in jail, and you get one phone call, call our voicemail, leave a message. I added a voicemail, the incoming message for what people call it, and it's just like, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th.. thi, thi, thi, thi, is, is, is, is, is just, is th, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is one, is one, is one, is one, is one, is one, is one, is one, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. is th. is th. is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thto do these anymore. I can't live a lot to voicemail like 20 years. Yeah, well, leave a message.

Wait, you recorded an incoming message? Yeah, so the people, outgoing message, I'm sorry, outgoing message. Yeah, I should probably give it to you so you could do it better. I just want to have something because... If if not someone's they just get the number you have reached is this one. Leave a message, fuck face. 412, 407, 7025? Sounds right? No, I'll check the show notes. I copy and paste it every month, every week. We do have some very exciting messages for upcoming episodes. Great. The orphan saga continues. Really? I have purposefully not googled any of this because I assume that they will let me tho the th th th the th th th th the th th th the th th th th th the th th the th th th th th the th th th th th th th thu it thu it th fu th fu th th th th fu thu f the message th fu. Fu it th fu th fu fu fu. Fu fc. Oh, fuck the the the the the the the the the the the message, fuck the message, fuck the message, fuck the message, fuck the message, fuck th, fuck th, fuck th, fuck th, fuck th, fuck th fu th fu the message th fu th fu th fu th fu th fu thu f thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu-fucuc. Fuc. thucucuffe fcuffe, fuck face fcuffe, fuck face fcuffe, fuck face fc. thu-fuc. thuc. th saga continues. Really? I have purposefully not Googled any of this because I assume that they will let me know. There's a bit of an East Coast, West Coast beef going on right now. Really? Oh man I love that we're allowing a beef to happen. But what are we doing this week pre-beef?

Something way less fun than whatever we were just talking about, which is the film from 2019? 2019? Haunt. About a haunted house. Oh, it is no Hell Hell Hells LLC. Which we're gonna have some exciting news about at the end of this show. Stick around, in case you just listened to the first three minutes and 15 seconds of a podcast. You're like, fuck it, this isn't for me. Every week, thought it get better. Nope. Talking about Halloween seeds again. Yeah. Yeah. Got to grow the Halloween spirit. I love it.

If we have to, that has to become like part of the canon of Halloween. Yeah, yeah. I agree. And if you don't eat candy corn, you hate Halloween. You hate Halloween and you don't care about growing the Halloween spirit. Exactly. You're not with us, you're against us, is what we're saying. Shock at all. Yeah, this is a little bit less fun. We have been having such a rockestly good time with horror movies lately that this was a huge downer, just like, I felt like I was flying, I was flying and then my shoe didn't open, you know. And I was like, fuck! Katie, do you know this is my third time watching this movie?

Sir, I could see it being your second, but why third? Uh, second time I watched it was like, uh, maybe I should give itthis movie another chance because I think about it often. Yeah, I could say thinking about it a lot after this. So I gave it another chance and I liked it a lot more than the first time I watched it. Okay, maybe. And then, uh, uh, uh, last two nights ago I went to watch it again and I was like, why the fuck isn't this on shutter anymore? Yeah, isn't it a shutter original? I combed. through your shutter account looking for it. Our shutter account. It's your email address and you pay for it. So also I love to just go in after you've watched a movie because it's immediately and they continue watching so I

don't even have to look for things. I just wait till you're done with them. I can never have to search. So you can see all the movies that I'm watching at work that I watch like the first hour of and then like the the the th you.isher. Yeah, I can't do that. It's usually stuff that I've seen a hundred times. Oh they're just sort of background stuff for you. Yeah, yeah, right. So I'll just have them on while I'm at work doing data entry stuff. Today I was watching a Brides of Dracula the Hammer Horror movie., finish it up and then I'll pick it up. Just take it over a five. You watch the first half, I'll watch the second half, and then we'll talk about it. This should be our new gimmick.

One shutter account two people. It's a terrible turn for this podcast. So the opening credits to this film are people doing light construction work. Are they? Presumably out a haunted house. Yeah, yeah, they're like hammering and drilling things. And I miss the, I, here's the thing. I watch this movie two nights ago as well. Okay. And I feel like I remember almost nothing about it.

Okay. Well, I will fill you in. I'm a three back later in the movie. Yeah. And I really like this because they like plong the string and it's plonging and then the title credit comes in on the plonging string. Oh, that's cool. And I think that's a nice artistic touch. There's a lot of nice touches in this movie. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I th. I was. I was. th. the. the. the. the. ti. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. turned off by seeing who one of the executive producers of this film is.

My boy and yours Eli Roth? I mean, it's fine. He's doing his thing. Here's the thing. I think he's good at what he's doing. Sure. I just think it's not for me. Yeah, yeah. Which I mean, I can absolutely see why people would adore this movie. Sure. But like me, like me, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's, it's, it's, it's th. It's, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's the still shot for it, I thought it was a backwards hat wearing Adam Scott for a moment. And I was like, oh, this would be so much better if it were Adam Scott. Did you think about the guy that I only refer to as the situation? Oh, I only called him dingers, because he's gonna come out and hit some dingers. He is sitch, tan on that guy? Yeah. It's been a Gavagool all over the place.

Yes, and thank you to everyone who has sent us the picture of the skeleton covered in Italian meats called a Gabagoole. I appreciate it and I'm making it for our pre-trick-or-treat family Halloween party. Man, can you just make it for the trigger treat or treat? to the th-you. Help yourselves. A little pursuit for you. As I said, I might break veg for that. You know what? Stop by and we'll get you some. I bought three 16 inch skeletons to drape in meat. That was going to be a measurement of meat. I bought three six inches. 16 inch salams. Salams. Salamis.

Oh. People who smash pumpkins are monsters. Sure, yeah, and then in this movie most of all. Yeah, okay, yes. Yes. He's just like pure bad. Yeah, I like that there's no ambiguity to any of the characters in this film. No, they did not bother to write in any, um, nuance. Yeah. Yeah. No, they did not bother to write in any, um, Duh.

Dept depth. Yes. Yeah. We get we meet Harper, who is covering up her black eye from her abusive boyfriend. She's got a black eye and a mean boyfriend. Don't know why I laughed while I said abusive boyfriend. I don't know why you did either. It's like a fucking nervous tick. At least she's got Night of the Living Dead.

Yeah, but you do run into a problem. Never show a better movie while you're in your own movie. Right, right. This is like that movie that is the ultimate sin of that. I feel like every movie that shows Night of Living Dead, you're like no, don't. You can't. Yeah, they do it all the time. You know, the movie, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, tho. And, tho, th. it all the time. Yeah. Is it like? You know why? Free. Is it?

Yeah, there's no copyright on it. Just because it's not that old. It's not that old, but George Romero and crew got screwed out of the copyrights. Really? And it just went immediately into the public domain? Did they not just say copyright, copyright, copyright, they should have mailed it to themselves. No, that fucking sucks. George and Aaron ruled. Yeah, so they never really made money off of it, from what I understand. And that's why in the 90s, there were thousands

of VHS versions of it. Yeah, yeah, I had at least two. Yeah, I remember just, you could just buy them in like dollar bins. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, they're. Yeah, they're they're th. Yeah, th. Yeah, they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. thea. th. th. the. they're they're they're they're See, this is why you're great on this show is because you're both funny and you know things. Katie, thank you. I'm a one-trick pony. That's not true. What be hilarious? My one-trick is being very fucking funny.

My one-trick is not knowing anything. Also, you cannot text,'s over to someone else's boyfriend even if they're an alcoholic. You just can't do that. I do like that she sends the text though. She does. I do like that she sends the text. From her her... I typed sexy kitty. But my... the woman is dressed like a sexy kitty cat. I did not find a cat attive. For some reason my phone change it to SEC apostrophe why? Wouldn't that be like secretary? Secretary of State Kitty. Yeah, meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Mow. Mow. Mow. Mow. Mow.

Yeah. But yeah. So she sends the text that her friend puts into her phone. That's Nicole. That's Nicole if I'm not mistaken. That's Bailey. Bailey, who there is no Nicole? Read her up. There's Harper, Bailey, so-and-so what's her face, Dingers, and the other guy. Evan. Evan. Evan. Evan. Yeah. Y'all like an annoying fat guy trope? If I got a a movie for you? Yeah he's really leaning into it. There's also this a little like a weird like a weird like a weird like a weird like a weird like a weird like a weird. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. th. th. the the their. their their their their their their their their their their their is their is their is there. there. there. there. there. there. there is. There is. There is. There is. there. There. there. there is. there is. there. there. there. there. there. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there.'s really leaning into it. Yeah. There's also this a little like weird sort of throwaway line of Bailey being like, I came in here to steal some jewelry for my costume. She grabs Harper's mom's ring off like a, first of all, keep it in a box, don't put it on a hand. I love that she had a hand like in a jewelry store. What are you doing, Harper?

Being weirdo. And she's like, okay, just be careful with it, it was my mom's. Like, don't know, don't take your friends, moms, who I assumed was dead. Ring. But so, was her costume cat burglar then? Was that what she was doing? Oh, maybe. And Harper just has so many jewels. She's dripping with jewels. Well, that's why she has the hand. That makes sense. She's got a chain so icy she got chill bumps on her neck.

Does her chain hang low swigging to and pro? You know, I remember terrible hip-hop in the 2000s? So fucking good. It was a golden age of people. Well, I have a playlist for you. Yeah. I wrote, I do miss college Halloween parties. And then they're at like the fanciest bar where they have a bottle of spider vodka, like, how rich are these ding-dongs? Very!

Yeah. Oh, I meant to wish you a happy Halloween. Is it Ho-Law-Wiene? That's what the girl says, because they're, hows, it's Halloween? I do love that. I love a sexy, an inappropriately sexy costume. Like I'm a sexy George Clinton. This is literally the first person who popped into my head. I don't know if it would be an appropriate costume for you to do. If I got that, I think I would just needed a wig. Yeah, just need the braids. In a sexy dress. Right. A sexy like Hawaiian print dress maybe? I don't

know where I'm going to go with that. Later, George Clinton. Like current day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Heartwood Acres, George Clinton. I think it will never be topped, but sexy, Clippy, is my absolute favorite. The year the Liberty Bridge caught on fire, my friend Cassidy dressed as a sexy Liberty Bridge fire, which was really fucking good too. Didn't somebody do the sexy bus that fell in a sinkhole too? Oh yeah, there were some secessy sinkholes. I was a sexy grandma, but that just made people really uncomfortable. I can't imagine why.

I just kept rolling up behind him going, Grandma, grandma doesn't no for an answer. Oh, so it was sexy gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr gr. It that it. It was it. It was it. It was it. It was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was gribibibibibibibibibed, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was sexy, it was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, which thi for an answer. Oh, so it's sexy, a salty grandma. Oh, yeah, it was grabby, grandma. This is dumb, let's move on. Sorry. Is there anything worse than a misunderstood wave? No. It happened to me when I was like 10, and I still think about it.

In this grocery store, I thought a woman was waving to me, waved back, was not waving to me. And you've been thinking about it all these years. Wow. No, no, but like, if it happens in a movie, it's like, bruh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm just traveled right that dumb son of a bitch. She just came over and kicked you right in the face. She was from Delaware, Katie. The

streets are there. I don't know the Delawarians very well. You're my only Delawareian really. That was right in an acme? So she thinks the dingers is waving to her. Yeah. And instead of asking either her friends to stand up, why? to thrall th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that that that that that to to to to to to to to to that the their to to to thoes their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. theats. thoooooooooes. theats. the Maybe to say that she won't stand up for herself. Oh, that's okay. All right. It was a little heavy-handed. It's a little heavy-handed. Yeah, yeah I think they probably would have just moved. But luckily her in the situation, it rigue. And he's like, I love you, I don't want to be with you forever. These people love each other for to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their to be to be to be to be to to their their their their their their their their their. their their their their. their their their their their. their their their their. their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. the. the. the. thra. thea. trea. I true. I tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o' don't want to be with you forever. These people love each other for no reason. None. Is this what it's like for attractive people? They just meet and they're like, well, together forever, let's do this.

Couldn't tell you. There is like a happy Halloween explosion and confetti like it's midnight on New Year's they just doing that all night? It's Halloween all goddame night. By like 1130, you're just waiting. You're getting racing yourself. Oh my God. And then he's like, oh no, your little red riding hood. Here's your hood. Oh, right. He's dressed as a baseball player because he's a baseball player. Yeah, he just found out like two minutes before Halloween that it was Halloween.

That's simply not true. No one doesn't know that it's Halloween. No one. And he's not a baseball player anymore because he got some dingers to his head. Oh yeah, that's right. Now he's the bench coach. Yeah. What does that mean? What does that mean? It's just the person who kind of manages the bench and decides who comes in and helps, you know. The people who sit on the bench, not the bench, not the bench itself. He's not giving the bench more. The bench in baseball refers to players who are available that day on the roster but not starting the game. Thank you so much.

You're so welcome. It is also, you're right, the wooden pew on which they sit. You're just the today's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho tho tho tho that. that. the. tho tho. the the the the the the tho. tho. the tho. the. th. th. the bench, the bench, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th thin. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the to thean. to to to thean. to thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. shine before the game gets started. Quit spitting sunflower seeds all over it. You're doing great, buddy. So then we meet up with Evan, who we see because he's just throwing shit around the club? Yeah, throws a drink on Harper. That is never addressed. No, it's ha ha! He! Evan's so funny. Because for the rest of the movie, he seems to be like, bitchy but bitch, but bitch it's like very out of character that he's just raging and throwing shit at the

beginning. Because he was unhappy with the party? I think he was unhappy because he was the front half of the human centipede and the back half and centerpiece did not show up. Yeah. And so he was throwing drinks around about it. Yeah B and C never want to thu the thu thu thu the thu thu thu the thu-I thu-in thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thr-o thr-in thr-in the thr-in the the the the the the the the. Because he was the. Because he was the. Because he was th. Because th th th the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Because thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thr-in the thr-in the the the throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th. Because to show up for that costume. No! And that's what his friends were saying, too, they were like, oh, they were never going to come, which is very funny. Oh, that movie. We need to do that movie at some point. I will never discuss that movie on this podcast. I will never watch that movie again.

I have some self-respect. Like, such a small amount. But just enough that human set of beads will never happen. Off the table. Somebody asked us why we've never done a VHS episode, and I have no idea why we've never done those movies. We could do. Yeah. I've only ever seen the one. Yeah.

Sam'sys. Because why would you see another one after you saw that one? So, hey, it's over with a drink and then she gets a text from her boyfriend saying, guess my costume with a picture. Yeah, I didn't get that because it never comes back, does it? No. And you can't really see it very well because she finds this man in red who appears to be stalking her and you think it's her ex-boyfriend. Right, right. But you don't see if that's like a red costume in his, in the picture?

No, it looks like a trash bag with lipstick written on it. Yeah, what is that? I don't know. All right, gotcha. So the situation convinces her not to take her ride her their their their to to to to to to the ride her to to to the ride her to to to the ride her. to their to to to to their to to their to toe toe toe toe toe toe toe. toe. thi. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. thoom. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. the. the the the the the the the thi. the the the the the the. thea. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. that'sa take her ride home and to come hang out with them. She, yeah, she's outside the bar texting, getting an Uber and it's dead silent. And that's when she sees the man in the red. How's it so quiet outside this bar on Halloween that is just rocking inside? I don't know.

But they have this cute little moment. Yeah, a little meat cute. Yeah, oh, we've got to mention they are in Carbondale, Illinois Keeping it Halloween. Carbondale, well, Illinois. Yeah, yeah, no, I get it. I know you did. I know you did, Katie. Carbondale, Illinois. I think she wanted to leave because she got the text from her boyfriend. Yeah, no, gross. Yeah, I should go be sad. And the two of them I felt had her her their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah, I should go be by myself. Yeah, I should go be sad. Yeah. And the two of them I felt had the her and the new and dingers, I feel have no chemistry. Sure. Yeah, but they have as much chemistry as anyone else in this movie has together. Yeah. I feel like they all met the first day of filming. Yeah. Although I do really like a sexy kitty and sexy dead nurse. That's um, I thi. Yeah. I thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the their their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their and their their their their their their their their their their thi. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. t. the thea. thea. th. th. thin. th. th. the the the thin. their face? Yes. Because the first one to die, I think I called so and so. Yes. Okay.

Mallory is the first one to die and the, Angela. They, I swear to God, they never say her name. I don't think so. Um, so, um. So, um, other guy, what's his name again? Evan, is an Uber driver and he's trying to like charge them for the ride. Right, because he finds a flyer and he's like, oh we should go see a haunted house. Right. And they're all like, yeah, haunted house. And then they're all like, which one? Which one? And it's like, but didn't you just find the flyer and go to that one? That's where they end up, th. th. th. the th. the they end th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. And he's th. And he's like, th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he th. And he. And he. And he. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. he. th. he. th. th. he's like, th. And he. And he. And he's like, he. And he's like, th. And he. And then Dingers throws his Uber light out of the car, which I thought you just can't throw someone's stuff out of the window of their car. This is his job. Oh my God, that's his belongings.

Also, they're all sitting on the floor in the back of pickup trucks? Yeah. It's an Uber. Seatless Ubers. That's not going to work. It's for the people who like us who grew up riding in riding to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to to the the to the to the to to to the to to to to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to be tooooooooooooooooooooo. I to be to be to be to be th. I to work. It's for the people who like us who grew up riding in the back of pickup drugs. Yeah, yeah, fair enough. It's just a little bit daring. Yeah, a little risky. A little risky. A little bit like something exciting to do tonight. Evan is not the guy I'm trusting with my life and letting him drive. Got some rage issues. Rage issues and I was apparently drunk. Yeah. And Harper thinks that Sam, the abusive boyfriend is following. thiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I, thi. I, th. I, to. I's, to. I's, thi. I'm, to. I's, to. I's, to. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. I's, th. It. It's, th. It. It's, th. It. It. It's, th. It. It's, th. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I'm. I'm just. I'm t. I'm just just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. It's th. It's Yeah. And Harper thinks that Sam, the abusive boyfriend, is following them. Right, because a truck has been following them since they left the club. So she tells other guy to turn off, Evan, to turn off at this like next little dirt road, yeah. And he's like, okay, yeah, yeah. They pull in there, the truck pulls in after them, and then the haunted house sign lights up.. Right. Right. Right. Right. the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the th. th. the th. the th. thrue is thrue. thruc thruc the the truc the the the truc. truc. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. truck. the truck. truck. truck. truck. truc. truc. truc. truc truc truc truc truc truc truc truc truc truc truc truc truc.. They pull in there, the truck pulls in after them, and then the haunted house sign lights up. So cute.

I like that a lot. I thought that was a good little spookery. Yeah, yeah, and I like the metal die cut sign that they drive under and stuff. And then I like the scary,. I do too. They do a thing that I enjoy, which is, clowns are fucking scary enough. You don't have to make them all, blah, looking. No, the quieter a clown is the scarier. Yes. Yeah, and the more like happy-faced.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, they're like, they that thing you do when something's scaring you a little bit and you're like, um, maybe if I just be funny, I'll stop being scary. Yeah, like, uh, do you do kids parties or is this just like a weekday thing or? Yeah. And then Bailey has to go up and pick a hand.

Yes. To get the key to go into the haunt. Right. But there's no key in either hand. And it's a very protracted scene. Yeah, I would say tense. Yeah, it's very tense, yeah. Where's the key come from, Katie? Behind her ear. Why did she have it there? Why did she have it all along? You think Bailey's in on it.

What if I didn't understand the haunt, it opens a box filled with liability waivers. Right, which they have to put their addresses and their parents' addresses. I thought, are you minors? I don't know. Why? It's very silly. It's very silly. And also, Dingers is saying to Harper, you promised to have a fun night? And it's like, did she? She never said that? She's a that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th th thi, thi thi, thi, th th th is th th is th is th is th is to Harper, you promised to have a fun night.

And it's like, did she? She never said that. She's a goddamn wet blanket. She's a whiner. She didn't say she was going to do that. But he was taking a few balls to the heads. Me, mine of their cell phone's in. That's true. So they fill out the waivers and they have to turn their cell phones in.

They're cell phones in a lockbox. Just like that, no cell phones. So it didn't even have to be said in the 80s. Beautiful. Perfect. Yeah. Very easy mechanic. And immediately that like puts me back on my heels. Yeah. I'm like no, haunt kind of guy. I'm not a mild haunt kind of guy. I do like that after we talked a bit about extreme haunts in the last episode.

I think it was on Reddit, might have been Instagram, people were like, oh it's this one. This is the haunt you were talking about. And it was like, like, Mick Murti or something manner, where the guy are constantly trying to get him shut down because he's just torturing people. That's wild. Yeah, because the waiver is like, we will, we can remove your clothes. We can like, yeah, it's bad. It's gross.

I guess it's, is it like a sex thing? I don't think, maybe, I don't think so. I think it's just like to push to push to push to push to push to push to push to push, I to push, I, I, I, I, to push, to push, I, to push, to push, to push, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the to, to, to, the., the., thea., thea., thea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. too.a, to, to, to, don't think so. I think it's just like to push yourself to see how far you can go. No one's ever completed it. What's completed it? How do you complete it? Yeah, you go there, you spend, it's like eight hours long and you take it. Eight hours. You do the entire eight hours, six or eight hours.

Eight hours at the office is excruciating. You don't, and you don't, he doesn't take money. You don't pay to do this thing. You give him... Yeah, because that's where it becomes illegal, probably. Exactly. You give him dog food for his dog. Give him like high-end dog food for his dog. This is insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not paying someone, I'm not getting someone dog food to water board me for eight hours. No, that's a weird day. See, that's the thing though, I'm not even going to like the one at the mall, you know what I mean?

It's too scary for me, too scary. I can't do it. Yeah. Too scary. I get it, I get it. You did do a fright night, right? I just wrote the turtle and I wrote the th Thunder th thunder. Oh, you're telling me. So yeah, now they go into...

Oh, and they're standing around and harbors like, yeah, I don't want to do it, and then you hear a blood-curdling scream come from inside. Does not entice me? And all of her friends are doing it. What? Her friends are thrill seekers. You know you can just go get a soda and hang out somewhere, right? Yeah, go back to the club. It seemed fun. Go break 40s down on the train tracks, do anything with this.

Throw rocks at the windows. It's fine. This is stupid. Uh, but they go in. They go in. They go in and, Bailey gives up her glitter kitty cat ears for no reason. No. It puts them on a skeleton. That never matters. No, maybe it just lets you know how rich they are that they can afford to give away kitty ears.

This Claire's level accessory. Yeah. I do have to tell you that I love a disorienting mystery tunnel. A drunk tunnel? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. tha. Yeah. Yeah. tha. tha. Yeah. Yeah. thiiii, th. th. th. thi th. thi thi tha. tha. tha tha tha tha thi thi, thi tha tha tha tha to to to to to to to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thi. thi. tha. theea. thea. tha. thea. tha. tha. thea. thea. drunk tunnel? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite place on Earth, the House of Frankenstein in Lake Georgia New York has one and love it so much. There's also one at Noah's Ark at Kennywood, which is very fun. That seems very umprent for the Bible.

Have you ever been through Noah's Ark at Kenwood? It is fucking insane. It's basically like, I think lightly supposed to be Noah's descent into madness, because the rooms just keep getting smaller and weirder, and like, there's a part where you're walking through this like black light room with all these parrots that are squawking at you, and then there's like a drunk tunnel. And then at the end, it's like you're inside Noah's, you go through like a fun house mirror part. Like it's definitely Noah being insane. Wasn't he like biblically a drunk too, wasn't that? I don't know, I mean, could be, yeah, maybe.

One of them was. When you walk in, there's like a part where you kind of walk outside and then you walk onto the boat, because you go in through a whale's mouth, and to your left is like a diorama with mannequins of Noah and his wife and they're both like gray-faced and have bloodshot eyes and she's leaning over him like she's yelling at him and there's a fox whose head is turned backwards and upside down it's very fucking weird anyway that sounds great the flood came I guess but yeah I love those tunnels

sorry I went on that tangent. No, no, I loved it. Evan walks into a glass wall, which I appreciated. Evan walks into a glass wall, which I appreciate it, because I love somebody walking into something else. That is always funny. So they see a guy, this is the first like live actor they've seen, and it's a guy with long, blonde, wig, and like a kind of shitty witch mask. Yeah. But I love that combo. He looks great.

Yes. So all the masks in this movie are so good and spooky. So good and spooky. Yeah. Although, I think they're part of one of the morals of this movie and I couldn't quite put it all together at the end, but we'll get there. I'm excited to find out the morality of this film. Okay. And so he has he's behind like a chain-link fence from them. Yeah. And he drags out a woman in a costume and a Halloween costume. Inside of a

body bag. Inside of a body bag and she's screaming and crying and saying help me please, help me please. And it's very much that like thing where you don't know if it's the haunt or something really bad is happening. Yeah and then they put a hot poker against her head and burn her and then fog machine. Yeah. Very fun. Very fun. Also, holy shit. Yeah, I can't imagine. No. No. I think at that point I would turn him and go. Yeah.

They applaud. Yeah, they're into it, I guess. So and so and so in the other one are for sure. So they walk into the next room, because the door opens and they walk into the next room, and it's a T intersection that says, maze, safe, not safe are your two choices. And so of course they split into teams of three. Yeah, of course, of course, Harper goes safe. Yes. That's what she do. Yes. And they end up in a room that has coffins where they open them nothing seems to be happening. But in one, when they close it, they hear another door open.

And I really like this mechanic where they have to be in there with a door closed for the one behind them to open. Don't know if I could do it. Oh, I definitely wouldn't again. I'm well. There's no question I'm gonna need at least 11 safe words to get out of this thing 11 safe words and like you're paying me You know for sure yeah, and it's gonna be there's gonna be at least four zeros after whatever you're paying. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm not doing this for Hondos. So yeah, and then the other room is? They're walking along and there's their their there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their their their their there's there's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoe. thoe. thoea. thoooooea. their th. thoooooes. their their their their their their their the. So yeah and then the other room is they're walking along and there's oil on the walls? Yes. And bags of like pitch above them. Yes. Which is real gross looking and I like it. It is very gross looking but you don't know why yet. Yeah. So we cut back to the safe area, safe area where the first two go

through, okay and then so-and-so, what's her name again? Mallory. Mallory goes in, closes the door of the coffin, and waits and waits and it doesn't open. The top of it does. Yes, a door slides open above her. And spiders are dumped on her. A rain of spiders. Earlier someone says, are you still afraid of spiders? To Mallory. Of course, she is. And I wanted there just to be like trigger fears for people to be like revealing their fears as they're walking into this place?

But it's like an episode of Moripovitch where someone's terrified of mustard and they're just chasing them around the stound stage with a jar of... what's the French's? French's... When you said Moripovic I immediately was just like, it is your baby. My biggest fear is paternity. The elation when it's not their baby is the funniest fucking thing. Terrible. Just terrible. We're bad. Do you mean it humans? Oh yeah, oh yeah, big time.

But yeah, then she pops out and Evan has a receipt that he's like, no, they're all fake spiders. You're fine. Yeah, which is weird because they certainly seemed like real spiders, but when she comes out, there are no spiders in there. So you think of something supernatural. Yeah. But it isn't. So where did the spiders go? Yeah. All right.

Because regardless of whether they were real or fake, they'd still be there. Well they probably are with the kitty ears. So back to the not safe side. Bailey and what's thia is like looking in fun house mirrors like it's the craziest thing they've ever seen. They just fucking love these funhouse mirrors. You're not going to believe this and this one my knees are huge. You simply must come and see this. My booty looks boodleicious in this one. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. And what's her face is like, oh there's no gap between the mirror and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. tho. thin thi the's the's the's the's the's the's thi. thus. thus. thus. thus. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the not the is the is thin the is the. the. the. thin. the. the. the. thin. the. the. the. the. the. th ready for this jelly. And what's her face is like, oh, there's no gap between the mirror and the reflection? These are two-way mirrors, which I didn't know that was a way you could tell.

Neither. I don't know if it's true or not. I'm not going to test the veracity of this film. But I was like, okay. So you've accepted that and you're just and you're just, and you're just, and you're just, and you're just, and you're just, and you're just, and you accepted that and you're just moving on to the guest the body part glory hole wall? Yes. That's x-rays or like lighting up the wall?

Yeah, it looks cool and spooky. Also, how much money did these we soon to find out fun loving criminals spend on this thing? So much money! That light box could not have been cheap. It's so elaborately planned. Yeah, for sure. And they have cameras everywhere too. They've got, um, they've got like a closed circuit television all over the place, yeah.

And hirelings. And how did they recruit this thing called Indeed. You remember that lady on the serial ads for MailChimp and she'd be like, Male Kemp? And it was so fucking offensive. I recently listened to the most recent serial episode because Adnan got out? Yeah, what do you think about that? You think he did it? No. Really? Yeah, I don't. I think he did it? But I think he didn't, I don't think think think think think think he think he think he think he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th think th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they thi thi the the the the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi.eeanan.ean. I thean. I theanan. I thean. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. No. Really? Yeah I don't. I think he did it, but I think he didn't, I don't think he should have been convicted. I don't think this evidence

was good enough. Well apparently there was DNA evidence that was hidden that proved that he was not, there was no, none of his DNA on the body. Oh. Yeah, they dropped all the charges against him. Man, that's a long time to be in jail. Twenty-three years. Fuck off. Yeah. Yeah. But no, some people still support the death penalty, so.

Oh, but I also want to say it to you. So, fuck all of us. the today. You can't, you can't, you can't, no! Do you think it's cute? What do we do in here? I mean, I just said it too, so fuck all of us. Anyway, guess the body birds? Well, first one's grapes, of course. No, first one's spaghetti. Spaget. Spaget.

It's brains. And then grapes. And the thinks in this place where the first two things go well and then the third one goes badly. What happens in the third one? Bailey's arm gets all cut up? And she drops mom's ring. It's hard to take off a ring with one hand. If it didn't fit you, you should have left it on the hand at Harper's room. You just saw me the pinky ring off a throngue. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, thi, thi, the thi, the the the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What, the, the, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo little bit ago. I mean, that's true. Did you use the other hand to pull off it? Yeah, yeah. But that's what I'm saying, she's got one hand in there, you know. How big was that ring?

You can't just take Harper's mom's ring. She's a kitty burglar. What do you want from her. She gets hers. Yeah. Because they razor blade the fuck out of her arm. Yeah, you see her looking at her arm and it looks normal and then they just kind of appear. And then again I thought it was something spooper natural. Spooper natural as they say, which is spooky? We are in spooper season. Spooper season. I love, have you ever cut yourself with the razor blade? Dude. That's what it does. Like I've accidentally cut myself with a razor blade and you're like, it's like a paper

cut where you're like, oh, that hurts and then you spread the skin and blood pours out. Yeah. I was like, fuck, that's good special effects. They just said that. Or they really cut the fuck up, and that shit hurts so bad. Yeah. Ugh, it's the worst. We've also seen the red cloaked guy following Harper,

because they are now in a crawling around tunnel? Yeah. Like a air, like a Bruce Willis and Diehard tunnel? Made out of like, uh, pallets, wood palettes. Wood palettes, yes. Which is a time number 117, I go, nah. Because there's a hole. There's a hole in the wall. Square hole with all these arrows pointing to it.

Very spooky. And reminded me a lot of, um, that's been turned into like a weird funhouse art. Oh I can't do that. No it was really weird. You have to crawl through stuff. You have to crawl through a fireplace which was really scary. It like I'm like I'm freaked out by small spaces. Oh yeah it was terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool though. I'm sure it's a me like I've heard about that like I'm like I'm like I'm like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've like I've that I've like I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've the that I've that I've the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the thr. thrall. thrall. the thrall. the thrall know that I would bug out. Yeah, yeah. Well, uh, it reminded me of that. I'm so parochial. What are you talking about? You cut all. People love it. Oh, suddenly self-conscious. She's a seven percent alcohol beer. Is it? Oh, I didn't think this was going to be a big daddy. This is what you wanted you that. that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that to thi to thi thi thi thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi think this was going to be a big daddy. This is what you wanted. I didn't realize it was that hot. That's what you asked for.

All right. Oh what you do? What is it? Oh shit man, fuck me. Oh, seven percent alcohol. If there was if there was a rough cut in the episode right there, it was because Alan and I both just realized we were drinking 7% alcohol beers and then I started slurring my speech and he knocked his mouse on the floor. So, then he leaned back and put his leg over the arm of the chair like, god damn AC Slater or something. So relaxed. Oh man, I wish I knew his catchphrase, whatever it may be.

Yeah, I have no idea. Hey. Mmm, close enough. Forget about it. So they're crawling through this tunnel, which the right would never work because pallets would just break. Right. Or just, yeah.

You wouldn't be able to crawl across them. It would hurt the fuck out of my knees. Yeah, true. So the person the person the person the person the fuck out of my knees. Yeah, true. So the person in red was following them and then all of a sudden, so-and-so was gone, Mallory is gone. Mallory's gone. And all of a sudden there's chainsaw man. Yes. Yes. The chainsaws man's mask is very terrible but also because of it, extremely, he's like a ghoul or something. But it's very upsetting. Yeah, all of the masks are like shitty dollar store masks, but they make them look so scary. Yeah, yeah, it's almost like those people

who like take a shitty dollar store mask and then repaint it so it actually looks fantastic. Yeah. I do love their commitment and we find out about their commitment later. Yeah, well, we got to talk about that. This movie is a secret juggaloo movie. It felt very welcome to my world. Oh, it does have Strangeland vides? Yes.

Controversial opinion, Strangelan is much better than this movie. No! Just for D. Snyder, what a fucking delight of a human. So Chainsaw Man gets in Evans's business and Evan's response is, Yo, get the fuck out of my safe space, bro. Because that's how Gen Z talks. There is nothing about Evan that, like looking at this gentleman makes me think he's going to say, get out of my safe space, bro. No, and then he shoves the actor.

He does. He can't shove the actor. But immediately he goes probably shouldn't have shoved him, huh? Yeah, probably not. And they also just leave. They leave without Mallory. Yeah, well, I mean, she was deadweight. Well, I guess, because the chainsaw guy is just standing there staring at them. And she's like, I think he wants us to leave, and so they just leave. Yeah.

And then, what do we get? The next thing I wrote I w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w bag zip tied? Oh, yes it is. They go into a room, the door locks behind them. Their friends are like... Oh and they're like no no no no no no no! Yeah. And they let the door lock and we see Bailey is like got her arm wrapped up in someone's sweatshirt. She's like doing the falling out of consciousness thing where she's like she's bleeding out I guess? Yeah she's ashin. Yeah like yeah very upsetting. Luckily what's her face seems to be an actual nurse or at least a nursing student? Right because she earlier in the movie when Bailey's like I can see you have a black eye and harvah and like pops in and goes, oh, well, you have a contusion above your left boobity

and then your bibbidi-bopity and your bippity-bopity boo. Yeah. Yeah. And so yes, they've all met up, though. Mm-hmm. And they're in. This is where weer Dome piece with that fire poker. This time we see the fire poker go skull deep. Yes.

And blood shoots out of it. So we're sure about this, but it seems like they're still not. Because they're still behaving in that sort of like, is this or isn't this real way? Yeah. Even though every time they encounter someone new, they're like, you killed our friend. Yeah. They're still like kind of mellow about it. Yeah,

like when they see the guy dragging in the body bag, they're like, our friend is really, really hurt, she's bleeding, we need help. And the fact that they don't respond immediately to that with like, oh shit, let's get you to the exit, let's call somebody. Means it's not a legitimate business, you know? Well, let's just let them finish what they're doing here and then maybe they'll help. It's the middle of act too. So yeah, she goes right through, gets a fire poker right through her head. Yeah, and then scene. And then we find out that Evan can pick locks. Yeah, why can he pick locks? I don't know.

I guess he's like an R.A or something. Okay. And he's like, because he tries to pick a lock with a hairpin and it's like a legit master lock on a door and he can't do it. And then he's like, oh, I said I could do locker lock or locks. He says, I'm not Robert De Niro from th. He says, that's when he says, I'm not Robert De Niro from Heat. And I thought, who can pull that in a stressful situation? That is not top of mind, you know?

Nor my Val Kilmer in Heat, or Al Pacino in Heat. I've never seen Heat. Should I see it? You got spare three hours? Nope. You know that new Terrifier movie is two and a half hours long. For fuck sake, guys, relax. I kind of want to see it. Because apparent, I won't make you watch it. You apparently people are puking and passing out in it.

That's too much for me. And I was like, oh, I kind of want to see what that is though. You just want to see if you'll puker pass out? Yeah, kind of. But this is also, the first movie is where he sawed that woman in half, which was like, maybe a bridge too far. A bit, yeah. What are you doing now? We should videotape ourselves watching it.

So when we throw up, it'll be funny on the internet. Just you and me sitting on a couch with like buckets in our lap, covered in a tarp for some reason. Well, just looked like the, uh, the cheddar goblin from Mandy, just puking macaroni and cheese. Oh, that's gonna be great. We're gonna need a bunch of macaroni and cheese and drink 40s before we watch it, I assume. Because those are the things that are most likely to make me cute. Just the idea of drinking malt liquor on a even have to watch the movie. Let's just make videos of ourselves vomiting

That's where I've ended up today You know how much I love watch people puked. I don't mind it at all So they're trying to get through this door because Harper is sure she saw an emergency exit behind them. Yeah, which okay, like that's gonna work, and they're also whispering to each other because because? Because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the the the the the the the other. They're whispering to each other. Because Evan has found the fire poker on the other side of the chain-link fence, and he just needs like a skinny arm to get under there and grab it. Yeah. So, what's her face goes over to get it? Angela. Angela. And they're whispering to their whispering to each other. But they're whispering to break hinges off a the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho. But their their thoke. But thokee their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie thoo tho hinges off a door with a fire poker. So, okay. Known, sturdy implement, a fire poker. Also, y'all, you can lift chain-link fences pretty far. Oh yeah, they will roll up a bag. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it takes her a really long time to get it.

It does. But, and she doesn't even get it because her hand gets stepped on. That's right. That was an upsetting scene. Spooky. She's got her fingers around the pole. She does get it. She pulls it back. So she gets her fingers around it and then an actor steps on her hand and it crunches. I like that you keep referring to them as actor and not criminals. Okay I'll call them criminals. No no I love it. No they have chosen a role and they're sticking with it. I mean, yeah. And then, uh, Nathan, sorry. Dingers. Dingers is the situation. The dinger situation is like,

I'll run ahead. And hit some dingers with this fire poker. With this fire poker. Swing in a heavy bat! Not the one with cork in it that got Sammy Sosa in trouble. It's not all that got Sammy Sosa in trouble. It's not all that got Sammy Sosa in trouble. I'm totally fine with athletes taking steroids. Oh yeah.

Me and Jose can say, I agree. Make sports as wild as they can get. Honestly. Jose says that when we're all living to 120, we're going to look back on this as the dark ages of sports. God, imagine in another 40 years when that man is seen as a profit over time? I love Jose Canseco on Twitter because he's always just like, I'll be at the car wash at this corner from three to five on Saturday and I'm always like, I wish we could go. I'm sure he's a hoot to hang out with. There was like a thing he was doing where you could call his manager and he gave the phone number and you had to pay like some pitying amount of money like $150 to spend an entire

day with Jose Conseil you go golfing, you'd go out to the batting cages, you'd go out to dinner. My cousin Joe and I were like, we're fucking doing this. We're going to fly out to California California California California California California California California California California California California California California to California California to California California to California to California to to to to the to to their to their to to their their their to their this. We're gonna fly out to California and spend a day with Jose. There's no way that at some point he does it go, you party? And then we all do cocaine. Yeah, I can't wait. I'd do blow with Jose and Saco. Can you imagine turning down that opportunity? I once smoked weed with Hacksaw Jim Dugin. I'm going to blow with Osaken Saco. Allegedly. I do not want to be on my deathbed with my non-existent grandchildren going, I could have done blow with Jose and Saco. This is where I have a note that says, did I mention I'm drunk on pumpkin beer and candy corn?

Oh boy, you're on it. Sorry. So, uh, Dingers goes down this hallway that are giving me Hell House LLC vibes. The room of ghosts. The room of ghosts. Very nice. Yes. Stolen from Hellels LLC, I presume. And then the one just like gets up and runs away.

Yeah. And he calls after it. He's like, hey, hey. Don't don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. D. thi. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. D. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. At this point, no one's here to help you. Just assume that they're all out to get you. Why does, I guess dingers has dingers, that's why. And they're all dumb as stumps. They are all dumb as stumps. And he is also, he has the key to the lockbox at this point. to get the phones to call for help. Right because, wait, how did they get the key? Bailey had it. Bailey had it, yes. Sexy Kitty.

Sexy Kitty. So he has dropped the key through like a floor with slats. Then baseball pants? Slats. Not sluts. Hot slats. Hot slats. Hot slats. Hot slats. They don't have pockets in the baseball pants? No. Really? I don't know. Where do you keep your pintar? No, they definitely have back pockets anyway.

Yeah, yeah, come on. You can't use pintar anymore. Shhh. Okay. You guess we keep it on the room of your hat? They checked Jill Musgrove from the Padres so thoroughly to make sure that they didn't he didn't he didn't he didn't he didn't he didn't he didn't have the they didn't have the they didn't have the they didn't have the so so so so well they checked inside his ears. Ew! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they didn't check inside my nose pine tar. Check the head of my dick. We forgot to pull back his foreskin who's called his the pine tar. Oh my god 7% beers we can't drink more than icy lights! This is a mess!

Anyway. percent beers we can't drink more than icy lights. This is a mess. Anyway. So, and this is where we get Harper recounting her terrible childhood of like hiding under the bed while her dad throws her mother down the hallway? Yeah, she says I grew up in a haunted house. I loved that house but hated it at the same time. You're like, oh her dad's a domestic violence kind of guy too. Yeah. She says I haven't been home in a haunted th home home home home home home home th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th but hated it at the same time. You're like, oh, her dad's a domestic violence kind of guy, too. Yeah. She says, I haven't been home in four years.

But she also said to Dingers earlier, because she's like, I'm really boring. I had a good child, I have a good relationship with my parents. And she was like, I had a good relationship with my parents. But why four years ago did it that that that that when she was a little girl? I don't know maybe when she went to college? I guess. Maybe. Yeah right. I don't know. Yeah. And then uh. Oh right. This is she's still, uh, Angela's still looking for the fire poker at this point because she goes, I have to take a break. And I was like, from reaching? Doug, you ever reached? Yeah. It's hard.

That's why they call it reaching and not just kidding. Sustained reaching will really take it out of you. It's part of my exercise regime. Yeah, reaching. I put something a little out of my grasp. Just, ah. And then Missy stomps on my hands. That awful, you have to stop doing this.

You know, I'm trying to get in shape, though. So they get to the emergency exit door. It's all bricked up. Yeah. And they've also, they're going with a guy who has like a scary kind of ghost mask. Mitch. Mitch who is talking in like a very strange voice? Yeah, just start beating Mitch's ass right now. Kick the shit out of Mitch. You have a fire poker, injure baseball player.

Swing it at him. I love that when, you know, I watch everything with subtitles. Sure. When they're he's like, yeah, my name's Mitch and the subtitles put it in quotation. Like, his name's not Mitch, Doug. They do a close-up on his sneaker. He has like a white sneaker under his cloak and then the movie like close-up on it and then he like quickly pulls it back under the cloak and you're supposed to be like, but it doesn't mean anything. He has to wear shoes. It's how you know it's Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, good for me.

It's wearing white sneakers and jeans. What is the deal with fire poaugers? Boom. Bum, but it's like, I'm just kind of fucking with him now. But Mitch is just kind of fucking out on him. I mean, like, yeah, yeah, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's like, th. th. th. It's like, it, it, it, it, it, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to thi. to to to to to the. to to to the. to the. to the. th. th. get out. Yeah, when they get to the bricked-up emergency exit, he's like, I'd remember an exit here. And they start freaking out on him. And he's like, it's all a show, your friend is outside. And they kind of believe him again. Yeah, like, Evan's like, okay, yeah, I'll go out.

Then, I'll go call for help. the lockbox? The one that's outside and uh... Why would you wait inside if someone was going outside? Harper's like, give me your keys, Mitch, I need your keys. That's a good move. Yeah, it's smart. Yeah. So then they have to crawl back through the tunnel, do all this dumb shit. Pretty big fire hazard, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So, um, Evan gets through, and then Mitch is supposed to go after him. Yeah. And then Mitch gets there and immediately boards up the other end of the tunnel. Yeah, which I liked a lot. But also, like, big strong jocco here, just kick it out. You know? He didn't even try them, you just pulls it off with his bare hands because he has to. Sure. Yeah, come on. Yeah.

And when Evan gets outside, the lockbox has gone. Right. And he's doing the worst like, where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? And this is where we see the clown taking the phones out of the lockbox and putting them Yeah, not all of them. He kind of like looks at them and decides which ones he's going to nuke for some reason.

Okay, I'm going to do all the Nokia's this time. He has a strong Larry Fezenden vibe to him. Oh, for sure. Yeah, for sure. And this is where we see that he has physically augmented his face via tattoos and scarification. Oh, do we see that at this point? Yeah, he takes his mask off. Okay, okay, okay. And he is changing his face to look like a clown.

Okay. Yeah, and cutting his hair like, fucking Larry from the three stooches. Yes, like he did it in the dark. Yeah, but like a fraint wig, sort of deal. Yeah. Yeah. What is this group that has gotten together and are going to fuck their faces up to commit crimes? I don't know. That's, I want to talk about the morals of this movie.

Yeah. Okay. So, we see later that they have all like done some sort of extreme modifications to their faces. Yeah. And we hear from the one of them later that like once you do your kill, then they can change your face. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

So, when you kill your first person, I mean. So like, is part of the movie like, you don't want to see what's behind the mask because it's worse, you know, like I was trying to tie together what these people meant and what Harper's experience with domestic violence meant. Sure because they seem to be intertwined. But it doesn't, they don't. Men are bad? Okay, I can stand behind that. That's it. Yeah. Just, and when we see the guy that she thinks is Sam, the guy in red, thinks is the abusive boyfriend, he's got a devil mask. And he takes his face off and he's just like fucking mud vein. Yes, he is. What's behind your mask? Let's peel your mask. Oh, I'm go. How does she get away from him at that point?

Because she does. She runs down the hallway and has to fish in the bucket of gross? That's later. Is it? Yeah, because she, because I mean, first we got to see dingers fall through the trap door. He falls through the trapdoor. Which when we see him, looking down on him, the, the, the, to, to, to, the, to, to, the, to, the, to, the, the, to, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, thi. the, the, thi, tho, the, the, tho, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the, the, the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th on like a green and yellow gym mat and then when he wakes up it's just like a cold cement floor and I was like you guys forgot to move it for the upper

shot. Oh bummer for you. They needed it for something else in the haunt so they grabbed it real quick. Yeah I guess so. But yes we've also seen red cloak guy the nurse through her head with a pitchwork. Yeah. Which I was sad to see her go. I liked her. Did you? I liked Angela. At one point she says she has 46 cousins.

Yeah, like that. And I was like, is this just racist? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she's saying to, she says, please don't hurt me, Sam, to the guy in red, thinking it's her boyfriend, and then he pulls off his, his, his, uh, mask to reveal a real alternative vibe, real alternative lifestyle. She thinks, Sam, her boyfriend, but it's a tattoo juggalo.

What's the worst? Domestic violence boyfriend or murderous tattoo juggalo. Get in touch, folks folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, folks, let, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi, and thi, and th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to, to, to, to, to, th. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thiologe. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Domestic violence boyfriend or murderous tattoo juggalo. Get in touch, folks. Let us know. We'll put up a poll. Oh, this is where Nathan shoots him, or sorry, dingers shoots him with the nail gun for her to get away. That's right. I like that a lot actually. And this is where we see the ghost outside is knocked Evan down with a hammer. He's keep saying him, do you still want to see my face? Which is creepy of shit. So creepy. And then we see it, you're like, what? It's a bit of a work in progress, but I think you'll like it. And then he pulls off the mask and you're like. Where's your nose, sir? How did it? How did you make money? I felt like he was a little bit like a, uh, when Kiss were picking all their their their their their their their their their their their their their their? their? their? their. their? uh, when Kiss were picking all their

personas. I'm the demon, I'm the thear cat. I'm the kitty cat. Oh, that's cute. I'm the ghost. I guess I don't get to have a nose anymore. No. In this whole scene, I feel something went wrong here because he's saying this creepy stuff

to Evan and then for just a split second the movie cuts to dingers running around a corner and then it cuts back to Mitch and like Evans in a pool of blood so why didn't we just see him pull Evan's face off that was after oh yes yes we don't see him hit Evan there's just a weird like literally two-second scene of dingers running around a corner and then it comes back. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, he rips his teeth face out. Yeah, it's the like cat's ball under his teeth and then rips it back. Let me see the ripping of the back. It's. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. th. the the th. the the the thin. the the the the the te. te. te. the the te. the the the te. the the the the the te. the things. things. things. the back. It's pretty good. It's pretty good and it's also very upsetting. Very upsetting. Yeah. Now, you're right, this is when Harper's digging in the animal bit bucket.

Yeah. And she sees graffiti that says reach inside and the lights go off and she has a flashlight. Yeah. And then a door creaks open next to her. What I liked. I like that kind. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some good spookery in here. Yeah.

Nathan Dingers finds the ring. You call him whatever you like. I don't know why suddenly in my notes stopped calling him the situation and started calling him Nathan. Oh, you gave him a little respect. I blame the ca. Yes, he finds. the the ring. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the thin. the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Nathan. Nathan. Nathan. Nathan. the. the. the. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. N. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t. ti. then he also finds the room with the phones in it. He picks up a phone, here's someone coming, puts the phone down. This is a PSA, you guys, you can text 911. Just do that next time.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Harper is walking with the lights off and she sees nails in a board on the floor. Oh, yeah, she does. with the lights off and she sees nail boards nails in a board on the floor and walks over it. Yes. And then she has to she gets stuck on a glue trap. How what is actually that sticky? Oh you ever seen those mouse traps? I don't I don't know. There's like there's like mouse and rat traps that are that sticky and they just stick to them? They're super in humane. Oh you basically kill them by starving them. their. their. their. their. Oh?. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're. they're. they just stick to them? They're super inhumane. You basically kill them by starving them to death because they're stuck with the glue. Yeah, they're called glue traps. Not better to just snap them with a bar. It is. I mean I just

have a cat who tortures them for hours so you know what am I supposed to do? But you have a better chance of them getting caught in the glue trap. It is gross. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is gross. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. It's gross. You can get them out with olive oil, I believe. Or no, dove, dish detergent. Sir, I am not going to the trouble of in any way catching a mouse only to then wash it with dish detergent and set it free. Can you at least ester it? Oh yeah, I'll make it my friend. No, drop a prick on it. Oh, I thought you meant, never mind. I would do it if it was going to be my friend.

So Dingers is hiding in a closet. And I don't even know how he gets out of there. It doesn't matter, does it? No, I think I stopped writing notes about him for a really long time. Yeah. You're right. Okay, so Harper is in this, um... Like dollhouse child bedroom. Before that, there's like jump scare, where she, her flashlight hits someone just standing

in the corner of the room, and she steps back and steps onto the nails. Yeah, right. I liked that jump scare a lot. Yeah. And then for a moment we just just wee wee wee wee wee we just wea we just th we just th we just th we just th we just th we just th th th th th the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. the, the the, the the thea. thea. theauuuuuuuu. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo th. th lot. Yeah. Yeah. And then for a moment we just see like a person with a skeleton mask and a hood just sitting in a chair. Yeah. Yeah. Like where did they come from? Where did they go? And someone comes up and says, are you ready? Yeah. Yeah. So maybe and their mask is really good? It's like a quality mask? Yes. So you're like, oh maybe this is the person bad. Maybe this is the person that's put it all together. Right. Oh, the reason it's important that Dingers gets a phone is because he accidentally somehow manages

to send their location to Harper's abusive boyfriend. Right, right. 18 miles away. They drove really far to get there. They would have been a good affair for Evan had he been able to charge them. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. th, th, th, th, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi.to charge them. Right? And then we see her boyfriend and I was like, ew, you look, ew, that's your boyfriend? I was like really disappointed. I mean, he's a terrible human being,

but also like, that ponytail was narly. You should have known he wasn't a good dude. I wouldn't necessarily mind a ponytail, but he was just gross. Yeah, yeah. There's a certain way you wear it that's just unappealing. Yeah. So Harper has to hide under the bed to find a dollhouse with a jack-in-the-box to get a key. This is an escape around. Yeah, and she's hiding under the bed, having flashbacks of hiding around when her tobe the tobushed, toe, the ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab ab abusive, the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. their, thi, thi. th. to to to to to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th........ So, th.... So, to to to to th.. So, to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the. throwing her mom around. I gotta tell you, this is where I stopped liking Harper because she couldn't read the words printed backwards without

her mirror. I can remember like being a kid in school and was it Ben Franklin that would write in his journal backwards? Oh I didn't know that. Yeah, if it was one of them founding father fuckers. Yeah, and they would write backwards in their journal and they're like, they're like, can't thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th then like, they're like, can you read this? And I was like, yeah, you can just, your brain makes sense of it when you look at it. Yeah, it just might take a second, but yes, you've got it now. She pulls out a compact that's been in her pocket the whole time, so that she can look over her shoulder and she reads it out loud, It's not like, it's not Latin, it's not supercalifregulistic XBL and Doges. It's like, four-letter words. Look up, Dum Dum.

Yeah. And I have to say, I would be so furious about this like having to search for a key. I hate looking for things. It's my least favorite daily chore. You know what I mean? I try to be really good about putting things where I will, like, like, like, th and putting, th and putting, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to be really good about putting things where I will know where they are, but every once they're all up, like, doing something and set my phone on top of like a wardrobe and then spend the next four hours trying to figure out where I put my fucking phone. The, one of the many joys of living with a five-year-old is that your shit just gets moved all over the place all of the time, and you're just digging through through through through through through through through through through through through through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through thin thin thin the the bin full of Barbie clothes. Like where is my toothbrush?

And then the lights go out and you step on a nail board? So fucking, she's so brutal. You should have known when she started changing her face to look like a ghost. Oh my sweet baby Angel. Anyway she's looking at the, she pulls back some wallpaper. It says dolls see all which she also can't read without the mirror. and she's looking at the doll. She's looking at the doll. She the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So, she's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. So is. So is. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. Sooes. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So is. So, theats. So, she's the is. So, she's the the the the, she pulls back some wallpaper, it says dolls see all, which she also can't read without the mirror, and she's looking at the doll, she's throwing them around and she like looks at one and she's like, that must be it because that doll looks mischievous. And sassy. The doll says something is hiding underneath the bed, there's a big old blood stain on the bed. She looks under the bed and there's a jack in the box, and the box, and the box, and the box, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, and she's a, and she's a tho, and tho, and she's, and thol, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and th. And so so. And so. And, and th. And, and th. And, and thin, and th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thooola' is a th th th thoa' is the thoa' is thoa' all. tholougholough, She looks under the bed and there's a jack in the box.

She gets out from under that bed to look at the jack in the box? No, that's where it's her safe space. She's just laying under the bed. Get the fuck into your safe space, brood. Get the fuck into your safe space, brood. Yeah. And the throwne's, she, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the thooom's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, this point that the real twist was that that guy was her dad. Like your dad's a tattoo juggalo. Yeah, your dad's not only a domestic abuser, but a tattoo juggalo. Nothing since anything wrong with being a tattoo juggalo. But if you're murdering to two juggalo, we've got issues. Yes, we have issues, yeah. Y'all are just the most popular clowns in society. I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's, you are what we have. We love you. No, I appreciate you. Oh, for sure. I wouldn't say I love you. So then they, she stabs him in the eye with the knife key. Yeah. There's a, uh, uh, she sticks the key in the door, turns the lock. You get this very saw two thing.

Yes. Of, uh, well, you get the music box again playing and then a gun shoots through the door. Mm-hmm. And they're fighting, and then-dink-dink-dink-dink again. His shotgun blast. And she blows off the red-robe guy's head. She sure does. Yeah, it was great. It was good.

And then she gets behind the shotgun, she can't pull it off the rack. Yeah. She sees what she thinks is the exit, and it's just like a wall. Just an empty, just a wall. No door. She punches it. It's made of balsa wood. Yeah, you could have bunch your way through that lady. You remember when we were talking about saw too.

Do I? Someone was like, it's just a house. It's just bricks and plaster. We can just break out. Yeah. Like this more so, but this is just made of wood. And most of it's shitty. It's insane. Oh man, it's redonculus. Yeah.

And is this when, uh, oh, we see a guy in a Dracula mask putting what we assume our bodies into barrels. Yeah. Probably filled with lie to break the body down. Like you would. And somebody grabs the skeleton mask and says, are you ready? And then puts them in the hallway with Harper.

And Harper stabs them with the pitchfork that the red robes had brought in, takes their mask off and it's her friend. Boy, that's mean. Yeah. That's really mean. Really is. Ugh. And then domestic violence ponytail boyfriend has arrived.

Yeah, but he immediately gets sledgehammer to death. Why did they do? Yeah, they drop a cinder block on his arm and then he... Blowd his neck too. Yeah, it's really good. They shoot him with a bolt like I give a fuck. And like why did he even have to come like did they just feel like they needed one more body? What I am hoping was the decision was like, you know let's just kill this domestic abuser. I guess so. It would be fun we'll murder this domestic abuser. Yeah, it seems fine. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it was really good. So then, yeah, the chainsaw guy is chasing Harper around, now Nathan has the sledgehammer. Mitch tackles Nathan, there's a bunch of shit going on. It's getting pretty ridiculous at this point.

Yeah, they meet a guy who's like, I didn't kill anyone, I was just helping out. This is so fucked up, they didn't tell me it was gonna be real. Yeah. This is when they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they've when they've when they've when they've when they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah, their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their. their. theell me it was gonna be real. Yeah. This is when they say, he says, once I've killed my first victim, then I'd earn my face. And it's like, what is you, what are your interests? How do you, what are you doing here? Go home and read your manga. Well, we never find out because Chainsaw shoots him. He's like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. th. thus. thus. thus. th. tho, tho, tho, thus. thus. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. than, than, than, than, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's like, the gun used to be right here. And then immediately he gets shot.

Yeah. Yeah. So Nathan and Chainsall had like a standoff or Nathan gets shot, but then he beats chainsaw to death with a baseball bat? Well, first, first they climb out the storm doors or like the load in doors and the and a guy steps on it and keeps dingers inside. First, first they climb out the storm doors, or like the load in doors and the, oh sure, yeah. And a guy steps on it and keeps Dingers inside and is menacing Harper and says like,

you think you're the only one who's made it this far. And then he steps off the doors and dingers comes out. Like, what do you think was gonna happen? Oh, shit. Okay, and then they, they miss up up up the the the tha tha the they the they the they they they the they the the they the they the they the the they the the the the the they the the the the the the the the the the theck thi. the' the' the' the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean. thean. thean. theean. thee they miss up that guy's head with a storm door. Yeah. I think that's the witch because we briefly see the witch's face. Yeah you're right. It's like a witch's face but like kind of Play-Dohy-Dukie. Yeah. I just I don't want to do that to my face I'm okay. No, this is my face my money my money my money my money my money my money my money my money my money money my money money this is my money money money money money my money money my money. this is my money money my money my money money money my money my money money money money my money money. this is my money money money my money money money my money money money money money money money my money money money money my money my money my money my money. This is my money. This is my money my money money. This is my money. This is my money. This is my money. This is my my money. This is my money. This is my my money. This is my money. This is my money. This is my money. This is my money. This is my money maker. I've really aged into this thing. I know, I've worked so hard on this. Then we learn why that room was coated in oil. We see the clown, Larry Feasanton, clown in there, lighting a match. Meanwhile, she's running pretty well enough, what that was pretty

fucked up earlier. Sure. Yeah, yeah, she's a quick healer. Yeah. So Dingers gets shot, because he's like letting her go, I guess. I don't know. And then he hits a, he hits a grand salami. Is that a grand slam? It's a grand slam. Okay. You never heard that before? No, you wouldn't have. Where? We're lucky I got Sammy Sosa's cork bat earlier. Occasionally you say enough baseball things that make me think you know something about it

and I know you don't. Dude that's my trick to make people think that I'm smart. It's not to make people think you know everything about everything. Yeah, I don't know fuck about shit it turns. Dumb as a stump unless you want to talk Donuts. You do know a lot about Donuts. And I don't think you should cut yourself down like that. So yes, Dingers has brought a bat to a gunfight. Sure. But that's okay because he wins. Yeah, as he would.

Yeah. They get into Sam's truck, go to the hospital. There's like a dream sequence where she goes home and sees her mom who looks a lot like Laura Linny. Oh interesting. And then who appears behind her mom in the doorway? Who? Clown guy? Clown guy. Just a dream. Just a dream. And then Harper wakes up and the nurse is like, hey you just got to sign these liability waivers. And she's like, liability waiver. They know where my mom lives because for some reason I gave the right address. Why, though, why is the clown caring so much to go to her mom's house? Oh, that's his life. He's put his life back.

They just travel around doing this. Killing teens in their moms? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they're like, uh, Cougar and Dark's Pandemonium Side Show. I do not know what that is. Something we could this way comes. Oh, you read Bradbury story. Yeah, I know, I know. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's too late for the clown because she has home aloneed this shit so quickly. This ending feels so delightfully tacked on. Yes, I mean, it had to have been. I feel like they got to the hospital and they were like, fuck. Yeah. But so she's set the glue traps in the floor, the nail board that he falls hands on, which is fucked up. Yeah.

I also like that he's cut the end of his nose to give himself a red nose like a clown. Oh my god, it's disgusting. So stupid, why would you to be tha tha tha tha tha thuuuuuuuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu that that thate thateateateate. that's that's thate. that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the they. the the the the that's that's that that that that that that that that that that te thau. thau. te te te tea tea tea tea tea tea tea. Somebody wants to be a clown? Clown's make you sick. And what does she say to him? Let's take off your mask. Papau, shotgun! So was her mom not home? Is her mother dead? Who knows?

Okay, I'm just very confused about what I'm supposed to take from this movie. I, uh- Because domestic violence is a heavy subject. For sure. And these people modifying their faces and then wearing masks over them is a very distinctive idea. Sure. So what are you talking about, movie?

Get to the point. What if murder people's put on masks, but their faces were already masks? Yeah, no, I'm there. Then what? No, no, that, we'd. Full stop. Okay.

Katie. Alan. You want to take your mask off and go to this rating's face? Yeah, all right. Please. I mean, I can see how people would really like this movie. Sure. It's ultra-violent. It's a very spooky concept. Yeah.

The gore's good, the acting is bad, which is always fine with me. But like, I don't know, we've been having such a good time with movies. Sure. And then also in the last week I've also watched The Gate and Hot Fuzz, and Hot Fuzz is both of which are two of my most fun, favorite horror, slash horror adjacent movies. I know, Hot Fuzz is not a horror movie. I know!

Joseph tricked me. But it was a great, it was a great time. So I've been having a lot of fun lately and I just felt like this hit me like a bucket of cold water. And it's just, I wasn't in the mood for it. I wasn't up for it. Yeah, I feel like you have to be in the mood for this movie. Yes. Yes. Yes. And I just wasn't.

So I mean, the movie itself is probably like a seven. I'm going to give it like a four for myself. So I'm going to average those two to five and a half. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the the movie. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie. I the the movie. I. I the the the the the th is my third time watching. The second, will there be a fourth? What's that? Will there be a fourth? Who knows? There may be. I enjoyed it. Always like a final girl.

Always like the murder getting comeuppance. Yeah. I watch any movie where you're destroying domestic abusers. It's a great thing. I think the set design and the look of it is gorgeous. It is, I mean, the haunted house looks amazing. Yeah. Not because it looks so like well done either.

It looks like something shitty that was thrown together, but also that is so scary. But like together enough that like, dumbedoms would go into it. Yeah, it looks legit. But I th I th, I th, I th, Ithan I think it deserves, honestly. You actually said, I think that's what it deserves. Yeah, I guess I did. Well, it's hard. I get confused. I don't know. Katie. Yeah. Do you want to tell me about an exciting event that's coming up in or in the near future? I am so excited about this event? And I am so th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. the. thi. thi. the. th. and I am going to be attending. This is a local Pittsburgh event. So this is for you local Pittsburghers or anybody within like a two-hour driving distance

because it's worthwhile. From the team that brought you Rosemary's baby, the musical, comes a brand new musical 1992 cult classic, single white female. Ah, so good. It's a musical. The tale of an obsessive woman wreaking havoc on her new roommate has never been so catchy. With original songs performed by our cast and live band, this is a production you could die for. Join us for this one night only spectacular. Thursday, November 10th at Bottle Rocket Social Hall in

Allentown. You can visit www.bottle Rock at PGH.com for tickets and more information. And the proceeds benefit Western P.A. Fund for Choice, which is where a lot of your Patreon money goes, patrons. Listen, single white female, musical. Single white female, musical. There's gotta be someone getting stabbed in the eye with a high heel to song. I cannot wait to see who's playing Brian from Wings. I cannot wait. And you're telling me the proceeds from this go to benefit

the Western PA fund for choice? I'm saying all of those things are true. Holy sugar shit. And also you can see me and my cousin Joe there since the Reddit is obsessed with him. This sounds fantastic tha tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to thi. to to to to to to to to to to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the the the. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I the cousin Joe there, since the Reddit is obsessed with him. This sounds fantastic. This sounds fantastic. It's being put on by our friend M of the Grit and Glitter Podcast and also Governor little Taco Boy on Twitter, who we reference all the time because she's so fucking funny. And I can't wait to meet her in real life. I've never met her.

Oh, exciting. I'm going to go up and hug her. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th her, I th her, I th th and hug her, I th and hug her, I'm th. I'm th. I'm to hug her. I'm to hug her. I'm to go up and hug, I'm to go th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, to go th. to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to th. to th. to thi. to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to the to the the the the the thi. thi. thi. the okay. Ask her first. She may be all sweaty from singing. Well, she knows now, so. She can message me her consent. M. prep yourself. M. I'm gonna tou'a toumettouch you. In a nice way, in a friendly way. I won't if you don't want me to. It's funny.

I'm so excited. So excited. This is awesome. Yeah. Katie. We're gonna do a movie next week? Yeah. We're gonna keep in the spooky season? Yeah. We're gonna keep it on a bit of a downer. Go back to a ha-franchise that we love the first one. Oh, it's Halloween for. It's Halloween for.

The return of Michael Myers. For fucks sake. There is, oh, there's so much to get into. I can't wait. Is there so much to get into? Oh my god, yes. Okay, I can't wait for you to get into it. There's so much lore that we need to explore the lore. Alan's gonna tell us some things. Come back for that.

It's like an hour and 15 minutes into this thing. Oh my god, are you kidding? I'm sorry we drank so much. It's gonna happen again for me at least. Yeah. Guys, everyone, we love you. Be safe. Enjoy your spooky season. Be kind.

If you're in Pittsburgh, go see single white female. Thursday, November 10th, bottle rocket, PGHH. It's gonna be very exciting. Seriously. And you can come up and talk to me at it if you don't know me. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I say that now because I'm drunk. Oh and real quick, thank you to my co-worker who figured out that it was me that they were listening to on a podcast and sent me an email that made me go, oh no! Alan sent me a text saying that he would be forthwith sending me his new address on the moon. So thank you for being a listener.

You're probably cool. And other thing is sending love to a friend of the podcast, Gene in Florida who post-Hurricane, is going through it right now. Yeah. And we're thinking of you. Yeah. Yeah. So come back for Halloween 4. We're gonna go record that sometime next week. That's right now. It's right now. I'm gonna still be slurring. We're gonna go record. All right. Uh, clear. Empty. Thanks for listening to another episode of where we'll have ambulance. What he said. Bye-bye. Bye. My wife. No, no. The maniacs are dead pools, civeties side exeats at the pool.

No way to make Finland's to fulfill reviews. Killing lights and let the face. Can't live in the atmosphere. A piece. A pair in time has you a pewtasked case, Please make I continue to pray. E&T. A moral comedy reviews hungry, Brian,

burnt wings and Stephen Gang. EADD. We live deliciously at thees of bees, so he's crazy gone to daddy. A paranormal act in tib the-fled trees of bees, crazy con to that in a paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers City, EMT, EFT.