Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 427- Battle Royale (2000)

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

In this week's episode, we're tackling a movie that (spoiler alert!) we both love a lot: it's the 2000 Japanese film "Battle Royale." Special topics for your consideration include: butt slashing, trusting adults, the fact that this movie might be a comedy?, fantastic death scenes, and the sad fact of knowing everything we know about other cultures from terrible 80s movies. Into Japanese horror? We've covered shockingly little of it! We've done "Hausu" in Episode 115 and the remake of "The Ring" (no longer Japanese, I know) way back in Episode 98. Do you have a favorite Japanese film you'd like us to discuss? Let us know! The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and enjoy a collection of episode about action movies! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Katie, I'm so excited to be doing this podcast with you today! I'm so excited to be doing this podcast with you today! I'm so excited to be here doing this podcast with you today too! Doing cute hands, cute hands! What's cute hands? You know, when you're like, ah! Oh, ah! Did that explain it for all of you here on this audio medium? What's cute hands? You know, when you're like, ah, cute hands. Yeah, kauai.

Did that explain it for all of you here on this audio medium? I hear the term kauai thrown around, so I'm just going to use that. What does that mean? It's like cute Japanese stuff, I think. Okay. Okay. I think, I don't know too much about cute. Cute's not really my bag. Cute's not really my bailiwick. No, that dog won't hunt. You did it.

Was that good? I feel like I finally got it. Wow. You can't help but sound like a 70s hillbilly when you say it though. I mean, I'm an 80s hillbilly so. What do you got in there? Quad hammy? That's a good looking looking thaggue thogogogog looking thine thine thine thine.. thi. that, thi. thi. that, thi. thi. that, that, thi, that, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, that dog, that dog, that dog, that dog, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that dog that dog that dog that dog that dog that dog that dog that dog that dog that dog won't that dog that dog that dog won't hunt. Oh what do you got in there? Quad hammock that's good looking engine. He's a good looking engine. Oh that dog will and won't hunt. Yeah. Well you can have more than one dog and probably do if you're a

hillbilly from the 70s or 80s. Oh that dog's a possible hunt. Yeah dog might hunt. What are we here to talk about, Alan? Uh, we, well, with my ham-fisted intro, we're here to talk about the year 2000 film, Battle Royale. Wait, was your intro somehow related to the film? Yeah, I was trying to do my impression of the woman who does the explanation video. I love her. That spokesmodel is fantastic. She's so great.

Yeah. She is so great. This movie is so funny at the same time being so miserable. They were like, let's take the bleakest thing we can think of and then also add like weird comedy on top of it, but in a Japanese way. And then like John Husey in level melodrama. Something lost in the translation there are these kids just like real dumb. I think they're supposed to be real dumb. I think it's making fun of everything. Okay fair enough. What are we talking about? Battle Royal. Battle Royal. Mm-hmm. My introduction to beat Tikeche. Me too. Tkashi Katano.

Yeah. Well then I, maybe Takeshi's castle was actually before this. Oh, is that one of the wacky comedies he's in? It's a game show that he hosted where people did like, you know, Japanese game show stuff of like getting hit with a you know padded foam lance and falling into a lagoon a lagoon eat a bag of bees and then fall into a lagoon yeah not Joe Rogan style you know when Mac I was a game show host and now he's like influential no yeah now he's contributed to the downfall of society great great but yeah I had this on a bootleg DVD the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the game the game the game the game the game the the game the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's contributed to the downfall of society. Great.

But yeah, I had this on a bootleg DVD in college and I was showed to people to make them think I was cool. You were cool. Nah, nah, nah, I'll be. Nah, a bag of bees. I definitely, I grabbed my DVD to watch this, put it in the DVD player, it was like, nope, it's the wrong region. This is back for when I had a multi-region DVD player.

Oh, back with much more digital versatile discs. And I used to buy so many from Korea and Japan that I had to have multi-regions and I don't have that anymore. No, do they even make that anymore? Well, normally you have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to buy to buy to to to to to to to to the d. the d. to to the d. the to the d. the d. the d. the dvde dvdivd the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. the d. I?? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? Iaa? Ia? Ia? Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. Ia. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t, normally you have to buy a DVD player that you can hack to do that. How can you hack a DVD player? It's just like a... It's just a... dude, I'm done. You know I hack the mainframe. No idea. I have not cut out for this modern technological world.

You mean the DVD players that I used to hack in 1998. I'll tell you what, I do fucking love this movie. Way to move on, I appreciate that. Yeah, ex- I'm done talking about hacking. I don't know anything about hacking or DVD players, so I'll just, though this movie does have some good hacking in it, so. It does have some great, when he's typing and it's just lightly feathering the keys. I feel like to have to have to have to have to have so so so so so so so so so to have so so so to have so the the to have so to have so their their to have so their their to have so to have so to have so their to have so to have so their their tooomb. to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to be so, to be so to be so their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. toe. I. today. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. lightly feathering the keys. I wish that I could type so quickly I broke a sweat. I feel like my day would go so much easier. I have so many emails to write like, blah blah.

Done. Don, I'm sweaty, but it's done. Yeah, well, I mean, in America this would be a rated R movie, for sure. For sure. Oh, so thiii. unsuitable for children in junior high or younger. Yeah, well, I mean, in America, this would be a rated R movie, for sure. For sure. It's 15 plus in Japan, so maybe they're just tougher than us? I don't know.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Then the introduction to the plot of the film is being told to us through like title cards basically, which is about how, you know, kids don't respect their parents anymore, essentially. Uh-huh, because society collapsed. Right, unemployment was at an all-time high. At the turn of the millennium, this is some real Y2K shit. Sure. And so they came up with this plan, this law that they've

enacted. Can you answer a question for me? Sure. How would this help again? Oh, because you get rid of like what, uh, 39th graders? Uh-huh. Right? So that's gonna help? Yeah. You mean it's just gonna cut down on the population of ninth graders in Right? So that's going to help. You mean it's just going to cut down on the population of ninth graders in a very small? So like I would assume that it's supposed to work like the death penalty is supposed to work and doesn't? Where it's supposed to dissuade people from committing murder? Which we don't have any murders because we have the death penalty. Well I mean yeah I feel like that's really working out. Yeah, it's panned out perfectly. So, but, so you would think that all these kids would be terrified of being in the class

that's chosen. Right. To, to battle royale. But then when they are chosen and they show up on the island and they're like, what are these things been at least, yeah, because Kowada was there three years ago. Right. So how they never heard of this? What's this now?

And like, we're told they're chosen at random. Sure. So it wouldn't matter if you were naughty or nice. You're getting coal. You know what I mean? I just don't think it's working. I like when we see the winner of last year's game and it is the tiniest most adorable little girl. Isn't that Norico?

No, I guess it isn't. No. For my whole life I've thought it was. No, it's just this adorable little girl. She is pretty cute. Yeah, speaking to which I've been tholting tholting tholting tho thi tho tho tho tho tho tho th of which, I've been thinking about doll twins a lot. Me too. We gotta make this happen. I just think we'd be good at it.

So we see beat Tecceh Cachetano teaching a class. And no one shows up except for Noriko. Yes. And because of that, he loves her. Is that what's happening? He loves her because she came to school? I think because she cared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. We're told that she's the only person on the planet Earth who cares at this point. Yeah, and the only person that he cares about. Yeah, I mean it is the wild fucking West in that school. The nerdiest looking kid in school slashes his fucking butt cheeks like they're nothing.

Yeah, it gives him a punciari. What is that? What is that? I don't know. It's the Italian word for it, because that's like an Italian crime. Slashing people across the pasta sauce. Welcome to garlic world, babies. Slashing some ass. I think it's Puncati.

These are Italian crimes. It's an Italian crime. I associate that with Turkish football hooligans. Okay. Because I know that they'll slash your ass cheeks. Yeah. They definitely do it in Rome and as in football hoologanism as well. Yeah, yeah, it makes sense.

And as a result, you can't even bring a fucking umbrella into the Pittsburgh Riverhounds games, and it's like look around, it's youth teams and IT guys. Like let, it's raining. It's raining. Someone might go after that guy that's constantly beating the drum. He should do it on a beat and I won't have to. So, okay, so this is the plot. We're going to be sending some ninth graders to an island to kill each other because society. Because society. Yeah. It makes as much sense as turning Manhattan into a prison island or... I think we railed against the sense of that film. The running man video or the running man game or any of these dystopian ideas. Fair enough. Which are all going to come true eventually I'm sure.

Hopefully we'll be dead before the butt slashings. A putskari! Punzikari! So that might not be right. So this, so he quits being a teacher. Yeah. I'd quit too after such an injury. Yeah. Yeah. And the kid who did the slashing, No boo, boo. the kid thiiol allowed to just come back to school. No, he voluntarily left for a while, seemingly. And then Noriko is like, hey, you should come back. He's like, I love her so much.

Everyone in the movie loves her so much. I love her so much. I love her so much. I will come back murder. Yes. Never heals. Why wouldn't it ever heal? You just could lay it on for a while and it would eventually heal it. I think if you slash, it's a sort of the crack between the cheek and the thigh,

every time you sit or stand, it's just gonna open up again. Wow. I mean, I don't know much about butt slashings. We've expended all of all all all all all all all to you for the but-slashing knowledge. I mean, it's true that I am the butt-slashing member of this podcast, but yeah. Yeah. So they're on a school trip, these kids.

These lovely kids with their lovely school outfits. Nurico has made cookies that she's giving out to people she likes. Well just one guy in particular, which is Shuya, who we've seen find his father's suicide-hanged body covered in toilet paper with notes that seem to say, go Shuya, you can do it? You can do it! Do what it do what hang in there kitty man don't don't leave your child to find this especially with that note that is just this is like there are elements that you could take out of this movie and it would

immediately become a black comedy but because these elements are in there it can this movie and it would immediately become a black comedy. But because these elements are in there, it can't be funny. Like, it's too dark. All of the flashbacks are just like, hey, look at my miserable childhood. Except for one flashback that we get over and over and over to the greatest hour of these teens lives. Which is what? A shitty basketball game.

Oh man, they're so fucking psyched though. They love basketball, which the translation later Shuya calls baseball and I was like, mm-mm. Close, it's fine. Maybe they were referencing the South Park feature film, basketball. Oh, I never, I have never seen that, which is such a hole in my knowledge. Why, because you've seen every Polly Shore movie? I mean, that's a start, yeah.

So they're on the bus to wherever the school trip is meant to be, and they go into a tunnel, and when they come out it's night and everyone is unconscious except for Shuya he goes did you notice when he woke up he went right for the cookies like he didn't shake his friend he didn't try to stand he just went to pick up the cookies which I thought that's a good look. Yeah that's on-brand for this podcast. Yeah. Straight for the cookies. I'm gonna grab a thin min min min min min min min min min min min min min min min min min. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he. he. th. he is, he is thi. It's he is, he is, th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's he. It's he. It's he. It's he. It's he. It's he. It is, he. It is. It is. It is. It's he. It is. It's he. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the th. It's the th. It's the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the the the th. It's. Yeah. Straight for the cookies. I'm gonna grab a thin mint and then give you a nudge. Yeah. But when he when he sees what the driver and the like concierge who is that woman she never comes back? The bus steward? I don't know. They turn around and they are wearing gas masks. Yeah and she clocks him on the fucking skull and knocks his ass out.

She sure does. Yeah. They wake up in a room and they're all wearing collars. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And this is where we notice that there are two extra people. So their introductions are so funny. They're both just like delicately lounging, I would say. And they're all like, they're like on tables a step above the students, so they're just

like doing almost like a glamour shots shoot. Oh, for sure. It's got strong like you paid for the extra package for your senior pictures vibes. You're getting a full body shot. Yeah, and you're going to put your knee up and rest your elbow on it. Because that's what Kowada is doing. And we're a headband. Oh yeah, I guess he's a dream boat. He's a hunky dude. He's a hunky dude. Yeah. And then you've got Kiriyama who is crazy and you can tell because he has the hair of a Korean pop idol idl circa this era. And or Tim Burton? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And thia. And thia. And thia. And we we we we th. And thi. And we th. And we thi. And we are thi. And we are thi. And we're thi. And we're that that that that that that that that that's that's that's thi thi that's that's that's that's that is that is that is that is that is that is. And that is. And we're that is. And we're th. And we're. And we're. And we're. And we're. And we are. And we are. And we are. And we are. And th. And th. And th. And we are th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And we're th. And we're th. And we're th. And we're th. And we're thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that's that's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tell because he has the hair of a Korean pop idol circa this era. And or Tim Burton? Yeah, we and or Tim Burton. Oh my god. So then we are reintroduced to

Takeshi Katano who is now telling these kids who's known as Mr. Katano in the movie. Oh is he? Yeah, yeah, I thought that was funny. Yeah, or he couldn't remember. Catano in the movie. Oh, is he? Yeah, yeah, I thought that was funny. Or he couldn't remember, that's what I always imagine. Like why Tony Danza is always Tony and anything he's in? Dumb as a bag of rocks. Hey, Mike, Mike, Tony, yep, that's me! Can I do something for you? So yeah, he's come back to guide the children into their battle royale because he hates them all. And now why is he the leader of the military?

Mm-hmm. Okay. We're in the best jumpsuit. He does have a fantastic jump suit on. He looks comfortable as fuck, but he also wears it for three days straight, which is a little, eh. Yeah, yeah, he smells like farts. Oh yeah. Cookie farts. So the kids are all freaking out

and asking what is going on. And Katano tells them that their teacher strenuously objected to their class being selected. And then they roll out a gurney. He's been shot so many times. He is a mangled corpse and they just pull back the sheet like, blah! Again, very funny movie. Very funny movie.

I feel like maybe I'm making this up but that his hands were sort of like clawed around his face like, like, ah! But I don't remember that, but I would not doubt that that happened. I might be making it up. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm, mm, mm, mm, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, and thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th, th, th, th, th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, remember that, but I would not doubt that that happened. I might be making it up. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And then we get, this is where we get the beautiful spokesmodel. She's so fantastic. She's so funny.

And just gives the pepiest explanation of how these kids have to go out into this island and kill each other. Yeah. And th th be no more than one person alive at the end of the three days or all the necklaces will detonate. Yeah. And then the girl that's gossiping and Takeshi Gatano just throws a knife into her forehead. He's like I said, no whispering. Yeah. And then we get our first counter of the movie which is like girl number whatever 41 to go. Yeah, yeah, I love it. I love the counter. I think that's a very fun concede. Yeah for sure again, funny movie. Yeah Very funny. It shouldn't be though. It shouldn't be though. It shouldn't. And I agree is it like is something lost somewhere or is this?? It's this? It's something lost somewhere. It. It. the? the? the? the? the the? the the the the the the the? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their? their? the the their? their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the th. th. the th. th. the the the things. to. their to. to. to. their their their their their their their their their. their. the the though, should it? It should. And I agree, is it like, is something lost somewhere or is this actually, because like, it fits. There are tons of dark comedies that come out of Japan. For sure. I mean, if you're a nation that's had atomic bombs dropped on you, you're going to have a weird sense of humor that's a little gallows humor. I would think so. Yeah. And the characters are all like extreme stereotypes too I feel. Yeah. And very

much in keeping with them being like teens and tweens, all of their relationships are the most profound relationships anyone has ever had the existence of humanity. So fucking funny. We will be best friends forever! Forever! We'll always be friends. Always be friends. I know. I know.

I know. So, uh, this is the first time that Nobu and Katano have seen each other since the but-slashing incident. I see there was no trial or anything. No, of course not. And he goes ahead and slashes Nobu's butt. He does. Yeah. And then when Nobu is freaking out, what's he do to him? He blows up his head. He blows up his head. Yeah, he blows up his head. I feel like even more upsetting than it blowing up their head, it just blows their throats out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their toe. Yeah. Yeah. their their thi. thi. thi. No. No. thiats thi. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. tops. ti. ti. It's ti. It's teeeeee. It's teea. It's tea. tea. th. th. thea. thea. thea. thii. I thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. No. I th his head. I feel like even more upsetting than it blowing up their head, it just blows their throats out. Yeah, that's really what it is. Their head almost stays intact. And then they're just a beautiful year 2000 gout of blood every time it happened. It's such a good spray. Yeah. You know, it's interesting because the movie makes a really big deal out of the danger zones that are appearing, going to appear on this the grid on the grid on the grid on this the grid the grid the grid the grid the grid the grid the movie makes a really big deal out of the danger zones that are going to appear on this grid around the island.

And if you're in a danger zone during this particular time, then your collar will go off. But that doesn't actually happen to anybody. Which is wild for a bunch of kids who are supposedly don't pay any attention to authority. Or school, how could they read a map? I don fucked. I mean I know they get compasses but when Shuya is like we need to go west I was like oh no! You mean left? I don't know what that means! Holding your hands up. Staring at the sun like I'm gonna be able to figure out what that's doing to where I'm going.

Licking your finger and turning it around to see which way the wind's blowing and then just shrugging. So the kids are each gonna get a bag that has a loaf of bread, three bottles of water and something else, either a weapon or something. We're told that they each get a weapon. They are all decidedly not weapons. Yeah, but I think they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say they say that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the. the. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's told that they each get a weapon. They are all decidedly not weapons. Yeah, but I think they say like some more effective than others. Okay. Okay. Yeah,

because like the one kid has a finder that just tels him when anybody's near him. Yeah, that's pretty effective. Yeah, but not good at killing anybody. No, sure. Oh, yeah. With your loaf of bread bread trap. I would totally end up in a snare because there was a loaf of bread on the ground. Cut to me like in a net swinging from a tree, just like eating a baguette. And then it was sourdough, what the fuck was I supposed to do? It looked so good, so crusty. So the teacher starts eating the cookies that he got from Shoya.

I love that cut to him eating the cookies. I think it's very funny. And when the army man comes over to eat the cookies, he's like, no, these aren't for you. I also love how hard they're throwing the bags at the kids, the army men. It's so funny. It's like almost knocking some of them over. There are like some like Pratt Falls that happen from getting hit by the bags. Very funny. Yeah, it's very cute. It's cute. We see that the Army men have all these like big screens with graphics and maps, but they all look straight out of the 1980s film War games. Like it is not to the millennium in there. That's why they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're their their they their their their straight out of the 1980s film War games. Like it is not the millennium in there.

That's why they're so easily aced. By the third man, which means... I'm just big fan of the noir cinema, I guess. Maybe. And basketball? And spiky hair. So the kids just immediately start killing each other. Yeah, they really go for it right away. I couldn't believe the kid with the crossbow that's just firing at people.

Like, come on, chubby guy. I know we don't stand too much of a chance in these athletic endeavors, but just don't start murdering everybody. Yeah, I think that kid would have probably hid. Yeah. Or teamed up at the very least. Yeah. Who is your favorite kid of all the kids? Did you have a favorite? Um, I like Chagusa a lot. I think she's got some great wit to her.

Just the best line in the movie. Which is? I will fight you with every inch of my being. I resist you with every inch of my the thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. will fight you with every inch of my being. I will resist you with every inch of my being. Yeah. I just like her when she like stops and she's like, can you believe this fucking guy? I love her. My other, I think that might, she might be my favorite. How about you? Okay. I really like Mitsuko? Who's like the female sociopath in this movie. Yeah, her childhood flashback scene is a little bit much for me. Don't you go ahead and tell me about that childhood flashback scene?

Not right now. I don't want to. It is the bleakest darkest shit you could possibly fucking imagine. Yeah. Like every level of it is the bleakest thing on earth. Yeah, basically, we see that Mitzko as a like four or five-year-old? Yeah. Has her mother has sold her to a man? A pedophile. A pedophile. Yeah.

Who like takes all the underpants off her dolls and sets them out neatly. And the doll's head. The doll's head does come off too, yeah. Yeah. And then she manages to push him down a flight of stairs and kills him. Yeah, good for her. It is good, except that her mom is mad at her for having done it. Well, yeah, yeah, she murdered somebody. Yay.

Yeah, because we don't see that until the end of the movie, but there's an implication when she has a confrontation with someone that she's been like pimping another girl out. Yeah. And you're like, wait, what? Yeah. But she's also accused of sleeping with everyone, too. Yeah. Yeah, so fun. Well, yep. But I just really like

her like badassness. I appreciate that. She is a very, I enjoy that actor a lot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We see that Kiriyama, the crazy guy has the semi-automatic rifle. Sure. He would, yeah, so he gets that. Mm-hmm. And murders a bunch of kids with it. Yeah, it's nice because you're like, oh my God, 42 of them, this is going to take forever. And then we get two out of the room before we even leave, you know? Yeah, yeah, and then he takes out five and one thi. too'n't theyme. thrown. thin. thin. thin. thi. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toee. toe. toe. toe. toe. toeea. toe. toeeeeeea. toeeeea. toee. toe. toe. the theea. the cliff. They don't give it any time. They immediately go. The whole thing could have been a scam. You think you'd sleep on it, you know?

I appreciate that the girls like, yeah, we're going to kill ourselves. And the guy's like, I get in though. We're doing it now. Yeah. When they jump, he definitely that's hung themselves as well. Yeah. So, yeah.

So, yeah. So that's a lot of fun for teens. Hey, I have a question. Yeah. What do you know about the hunger games? I've read them and seen the movies? Okay. Are they?

Is it teens? Yeah, any kids? Yeah. Is it kids? It's yeah, any kids. Yeah, yeah, it could be like as young as like nine and then Wow, so but it's like not as dark as this Somehow or is it? I felt like with its mass appeal that it what couldn't have been that dark. Oh, yeah, there's no like flashbacks to pedophilia or anything that I remember? Okay. It's but I mean, it's bleak. It's it's definitely like they're taking kids from their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. their their thi their's their's takes their's their's takes thinks thi their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their's their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow's th. Wow. Wow's th. th. th. th. th. takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes that I remember. Okay. It's, but I mean it's bleak. It's, it's definitely like, they're taking kids from like the coal mining area to murder each other.

Got it. And it's like big class issues are going on. It's not, I don't know. It's not as good as this movie. No, but I'm just thinking that, you know, it made a Brazilian dollars and had huge appeal in America. And this would be like schlock almost, you know. Sure, sure, for sure. I mean, it's definitely way more Hollywood than this movie is. It's more like triumphant and like, yeah, like the the underdog is gonna make it out, you know, and it's very, it's silly. It's very silly in a lot of ways. It stole this whole thing.

Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And also it's very annoying because you have this film or this book and film series where the lead character is named Catness. And she's around a bunch of teens. It it it it it it it it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's thi, it's thi, it's, it's, it's thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi, it's very thi, it's very thi, it's very thi's very thi's very silly, it's very silly, it's very silly, it's very silly, it's very silly, it's very silly, it's thi, it's th lead character is named Katniss and she's around a bunch of teens and no one ever calls her cat piss. And I'm like well this is just not realism. Some would call her cat piss. This is clearly written by a middle-aged woman I'm going to guess?

Her name is Catniss Everdeen and no one ever calls her Cat Piss Never Clean, which is just like, it's right there, it's laying there. It's on the tip of your tongue. Oh yeah, so Shoya tells Noriko that he'll wait for her. And so they're gonna meet up and they become chums. She says to him, you're the only one I trust and I thought, what about Megumi? Your friend that you're th.. that you, that you, that you, that you, that you that you that you that you're just that you're just that you're just that you're just that you're just just just just just that you're just just like that you're just like that you're just like that you're and they become chums running around the side. She says to him, you're the only one I trust and I thought, what about Magumi, your friend that you just like hugged and cried all over? Nah, fuck her. Magumi, she's out there with a taser.

She's just trying to smooch on this guy. Yeah. Oh. I love when the dude... What was your favorite killing scene? Probably the, putting a grenade in a severed head and throwing into a roomful of people. That's very good. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's like, it's not one fuck you, but two fuck yous. It is so many fuck yous. It's levels of fuck you. How about you?

I really liked when all the girls turned on each other in the lighthouse, just like girls would, and they're all just shooting each other and still shouting at each other and shooting and shouting. I thought that was very funny. It's very funny with the one woman's like being shot and yelling at them. Yeah, standing on a table, being shot in the stomach and being like, you're not even my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their the. thui thul. When thi when all thuing, thuing, thui when all thui when all thul. When all thul. When all thul. When all thul. When all thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thuels thrl. thr-in thrown throwns thrown. When throwne throwne thrown. When throwne thro thro thro throo thro throoo throo thro thro the them. Yeah, standing on a table, being shot in the stomach and being like, you're not even my real friends! I love like the one woman just being in love with Shoya, Shuya, and just being like, I think you're the bees knees, but I know

you like somebody else. Anyway, let me go get you some breakfast. Yes. And that's like the Chagusa scene too where she's like, are you in, she's about, she's, she's about the the the the the the the the the to be the the to be to be the to be the the to be to be the the the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. to be to be toeatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, toa, toe, toe. to toe. toe. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. the. the. the. th, and that's like the Chagusa scene too where she's like, are you in, she's about to die, she's on her dying breath. Are you in love with anyone? Yes. Not me though. No. Just say yes. Just say yes. She's about to die. What if that was the thing that kept her alive and then he's like, Gn'er! Jesus Christ. I love the one guy who's like spending all this time running around the island and then he's dying next to the girl that he likes and he's like, I just came because I think you're real cute. Yeah, she's like you never even talked to me. There are a lot of very funny last lines in this where like in Chagusa's death scene she says you look really cool Hiroki to the guy and he goes you too

you're the coolest girl in the world and she goes thank you and then dies. And I feel like I didn't recognize how funny this movie was until I saw it, like within the last couple of years. Okay. That was seeing it as a young woman, I was like, this is for real. Oh, this is deep. This is deep. This is how I feel about Rob.

He does look really cool. He does. He does. I often just go to find Rob because I think he's really cute. I just think you're really cute. I have to ask you a question as an Italian American. Japanese pasta, wild, right? I mean is it just like soba or... But they're always like we're making spaghetti? Yeah. And then they plate this thing that you're like, no? No? It's not? It's not? It is it is really really really really really really really really really really? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I like, I? I like, I like, I, I just just just just just just just just just just just just? I just like, I just, I just like, I just, I just, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just. I just just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I just like, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I, I, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like or? But they're always like, we're making spaghetti. Yeah. And then they plate this thing that you're like, no, no it isn't.

No, it isn't. See, I thought that was a bad translation too, but maybe not. Maybe they thought that they thought white audiences wouldn't understand, I don't know, rama noodles. Because it's like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I. I. I's. I's, tho, thi. thi. I's, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So. So. So. So, th. So, th. So, th. So. So, th. So. So, th. So, th. So. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. It's. thi. thi. It's. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, theeea. It's. It's. tha. It's. tha. tha. tha. It's like, tha. tha.? And where did they get that stuff? They didn't give that to them in the bags? Oh, every lighthouse comes stocch with that. Oh, and uh, lobster. You love me lobster. Yeah, you love me lobster. God, I'm never going to watch that movie again as long as I live.

I will watch this movie every day if it means I never have to watch the lighthouse again. I was thinking the other day about my diminishing returns of that director because I absolutely adored the witch. I thought the lighthouse was fine and I have yet to make it through the Northman. Yeah, you've been working on that for a while, right? Yeah, well by working on it, just not going back to it. Gotcha. Like paused halfway through and I'm like, I, I, I thi, I thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I tho, I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-s thi-s, I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi-s, I thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thi-s thanananananananananananananananed-s wauuuuuauauaughed thaned thanananananed halfway through and like, I don't know if I need to finish this. I'm alright. You know, there's no shame in walking away from a piece of media that you don't feel like you need to finish.

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you're reading a book and it sucks, just put it down. books out there. So many other books to read. Yeah, so if a movie sucks just stop. Yeah, that's good life advice. Unless you do a podcast about in which case you have to watch them to the bitter bitter end. Or sometimes you could just fall asleep and not rewine them and not see Carl Weather's arm blowed off. I went back and watched it later. So after the lighthouse death, we're down to 10 people being left. Yes, and we've seen a lot of deaths leading up to this too, like a kid gets stabbed in the dick.

Oh yeah, if someone's trying to sexually assault, you'd stab them in the dick repeatedly. Also good life advice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have notes like so much sadness, so much melodrama. These kids just can't take it. They cannot take how sad they are. Oh man, I love when Mitsuko has killed some dude, and then she's just doing her fucking eyelashes the next morning. Yeah, curl in her eyelashes.

I'm like, this is brutal.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tooooooooooo-s, too-s, toe, too, too-s, too, too, this is brutal. Also, she changes into like a tea, a baby tea and little jeans shorts, and you're like, what, no one else seems to have brought anything besides their school uniform. I also love that she like honeypotts two dudes. She totally seduces though, but then we just, we come into a room where they have been slashed to death and she's getting dressed. They, and they are, they're missing, they, she got their peepers off. Yeah, yeah, their peepers are gone. Sure, yeah. Yeah. I mean if you had the opportunity, right? I don't know. Alan.

Not just like some dude I went to high school with, you know. Yeah, but I'm going to assume they tried something and she had to cut their dicks off. Maybe. It's a running theme. She's in it to win it though. Mm-hmm. Yeah. She really is. Kawada has taken Shuya and Nariko under his wing and he's like, I want you to love too, or something. Yeah, it's his, he's nonsense, but that's fine. His whole thing is like he came back to the island to, he was recruited, but he came back because he wanted to figure out why his girlfriend smiled at him after he killed her. Well, his story changes because he says that he woke up on the island again.

So he had competed three years ago and won. And then he tells the kids that he had basically been abducted and brought back to the island. But then later he's like, yeah, I just wanted to figure out why she smiled. And it's like, but which? But you know why she smiled. Anyone with half a brain can figure out why she smiled. Not much of a puzzler, is it? He also says that, what's the other guy's name?

Kiriyama? Kiriyama. Kiriyama has, he came back voluntarily to do this. Yeah. Because he just loves murdering. Yeah? He's real good at it. He's insane. They say, do what you love and you'll never work a day of your life.

I mean, I guess that's true for killers. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And there's the whole subplot of the hacker and his hacking minions. He's like, okay, I need you to get fertilizer, kerosene, charcoal, and you're like, what? Where? How? But I guess it is, and they do say that they've evacuated the island, so I guess they're the place is fully stocked. th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the the the the thi. And the the the thi, the their, thi. And, thi. thi, thi. thi. theeeeeeeat, theeat, theeeeeeeeeeeat, their, their, their, their, their, their, th the place is fully stocked. Like people live there. Yeah. Yeah. And he's basically making the bomb from Timothy McVeigh. Yeah. Yeah. Not a great. Not a great look. Well, I mean, he's doing it for a just cause, I guess. Sure, sure, he's going to to roll it into the command center and blow up the command center is his plan. But first he had to hack it?

Yeah, you got to hack the mainframe. And his hacker, a little avatar guy is just a dude with spiky hair dribbling of basketball just like him? I also love that his like, a tamilet. I also love that his like, part of his backstory is that his uncle was like a Tamil tiger or something and like with some sort of Revolutionary somewhere so he taught him all about this stuff right like because most people who are just like mercenary fighters. Uh-huh have nephews with whom they're very very close baby nephews and they

and they and those baby nephews carry photographs and instruction manuals with them at all time. Yeah, he brought it on the school trip. Where were they going? The museum? He's got the one postcard of the kid smiling petting a cat and then on the back it says, I hope you smile like this one day. Well, who is that child? You know, revolutionary. Got it. No smile like a revolutionary as a child holding a cat smile. As they say.

As they say. That might be a Japanese. That might be lost in translation. So yeah, he does act the mainframe. Don't worry, that does happen. Right. It shuts down all of the tracking abilities of the the the the the the the the the the revolutionary. the the the thiiiioliti. the thiolututututututututututut. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi revolutionary. thi revolutionary. thi revolutionary. thi revolutionary. thi revolutionary. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. mainframe. Don't worry, that does happen. Right, it shuts down all of the tracking abilities of the army guys and stops all the danger zones. Stops all the danger zones. I mean, I don't know what else to say. Yeah, because they, but they never come into play. Like, there's never one like, oh, eight kids just died because they didn't get out of the danger zone. thin. Right, tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, the tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, toge, true, toge, toge, toge, toge, thr-s of that happens, or that they like figured out that all these girls were in the lighthouse so they made that a danger zone.

You could have just killed all these kids. They're not filming this. No. The Hunger Games, one of the things, is that it's all being filmed. People are watching this at home. Oh really? Yeah. So it's a commentary on reality television or? Sort of, and you can be like a patron and like drop supplies to the people you like the best in the hunger games and stuff like that. Yeah, which makes it feels a little bit more real. Yeah, just the real shittiness of man. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, because I can buy this being done for entertainment more easily than I can buy it being done to teach children a lesson about respecting your elders? I guess. So we see a dream sequence between Noriko and Katana.

What does this mean? That they had a connection, because they both had the same dream about eating cremesicles in a swamp or whatever the fuck they're two. Yeah, they're sitting in like a boggy industrial area eating a popsicle. Okay. And in the film it's silent. There's dialogue but you don't hear, like if you stick around to the end of the movie, they play the dream sequences in full. But it doesn't really add too much to the end of the movie, they play the dream sequences in full. But it doesn't really add too much to the movie seeing those, but...

Yeah, I watched the first two and then I was like, I already saw this. Yeah, yeah. But so we're, they both wake up from having the same dream is what we're supposed to understand. Right. They're connected. I guess, but also why? Just because she didn't skip school one day? Sure. Yeah, why not? Who knows? Yeah. Okay. I mean, we do, we are, we are introduced to Katano's daughter via the phone,

right. Where we are to understand that she absolutely hates him because she says, can you not breathe on the phone? I can smell your stinking breath. That is such a good bust. Ouch! Tell me you hate your dad without telling me you hate your dad. Oh, gross. So maybe he just needs a daughter? I don't know. Sure. Yeah, she's the daughter who doesn't hate him. And apparently his wife or ex-wife is ill and he's like, yeah, I don't. I don't have time for that right now. I have to murder these children. You know what? They disrespect to me and they cut my butt. Do you know how long that takes to heal?

Forever. It's called the wound that never heals. Wait, what is the wound that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi is thi is thi thi thi is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi is is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta the wound that ever heals. It's called the wound that never heals. Wait, what is the wound that never heals? Sadness? Sure. Stigmata? Hemorrhoids. Oh. The American Civil War? Too soon?

Yeah, that's 150 plus years. That's just just to keep it down a little. Oh, aye. So the hacker and all of his friends are killed by the sociopath. But, but Memura, the hacker, sacrifices basically himself to get the psychopath to shoot into the bomb to set it off. Yeah. So he does. And now he's blind with blood coming out of his eyes. He, I think that's such a nice touch because you see him come staggering out of the flames. Yeah. And the music is very like the omen maybe? Sure, yeah. And he's got his head down so you can't see his face but you can sort of tell that his eyes are closed and then when he opens them they're like stark white. So good. But he's still an excellent shot. Oh well, you know, he's he's he has not been an excellent shot throughout this movie.

I kept thinking like how much ammo did they give this kid? Because he's firing wildly. They did not skimp on the on the ammo, because like when Kowada hands a gun to Shuya, he hands a gun and a box of like a hundred rounds of ammunition. There's only 40 other kids on here. And they're not good shots. No. But yes, they hit his collar and his neck blows off, which is a thing we like later. Yeah. Yeah, because he and Kauada have like this this standoff at the end and then Kawata turns on the other two. Yeah. Because there's the last three.

And you hear gunshots. Yeah. This is where someone says the line. I've never really trusted adults. I remember a t-shirt from when I was a kid. I want it was a... somehow associated with like Sesame Street or the Electric Factory or something, but it just said never trust anyone over three feet tall. I was reminded of that with I've never trusted adults.

I love that a lot. Yeah. I also love when Kawata shouts, Game Over! In English. Do you think he went on to be the Saw franchise? Oh, yes. That dumb movie where he slams the door and yells, Game over. Game over. But as it turns out, he was not actually turning on them. Which we learn when they return to the building, the headquarters. And Kitano is doing these exercises along with the radio?

Like, what is this? That's like a very Japanese thing of like, before work starts, everyone does exercises together. Really? Yeah, I'm basing this entirely on the film gung-ho starring one Michael Keene. Oh, filmed here in Pittsburgh. They swim in Monagahela, I think. Yeah. That's some on Valley shit down there. But yeah, there's like a morning calisthen things that you do to get your blood going before you go into work. Okay. Yeah. Well, pardon me then. I'm just culturally ignorant. Katie, I'm basing it on gung-ho, which is one of the most culturally ignorant films has

ever been made. It's not great. Uh, does Japanese culture explain his artwork with Noriko in the middle? I shit you not, I would kill a man for that painting. I want the painting done I'm sure you can get a print of it on the internet. I want the painting done by B. Takeshi. Okay, we'll see what we can do. He always knew that she would win.

Had he been working on it during those three days, or did he make it earlier and bring it with him? No, you see throughout the thing he's doing sketches. Oh, I missed that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. There's th. There's th. There's th. There's the the the the they. There's they. they. their their their their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. I's theeat theeat theat theat theat theat theat the. I'm the. I the.the thing he's doing sketches. Oh, I missed that. Yeah, there's like a sketchbook next to him, which is funny because they're like bunco Charles Schultz drawings. Yeah, they look like Charles Schultz after several Scotches. Or if you were doing that experiment that they did with spiders where they would give them LSD and then make them make webs Yeah and like they gave him LSD and made him make peanuts so everyone's dead Yeah, Norrie goes in the middle like an angel like an angel he has a gun on them, but it turns out that it was a water gun all along a little suicide mission from Katano which is league. I love that he gets shot falls to the gun. I? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they tap tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I tape. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they turns out that it was a water gun all along, a little suicide mission from Katano, which is League. I love that he gets shot, falls to the ground, his phone rings, he gets up and he's like, hello? Gets up off the floor to answer the phone.

Mushy mush. And then gets off the phone, puts a cookie at his mouth and dies. Well, first he says to his daughter, he's talking to his daughter, I think. Yeah. And he says, if you hate someone, you have to live with the consequences. And I thought about that a lot, like more than I should have for what was probably a bad translation from a dark comedy. But like, oh, ouch. This movie is nothing but life lessons. Yeah, pool snow punches.

Yeah, but you're right. I think last week I talked about how I was afraid that my last words would be something like and that I pissed in my pants. Yeah. But the last words in this are damn good cookies. Those are good last words. Yeah, yeah. And then they get on a boat and drive away?

Noriko looks back at the island and says, it's beautiful, even though it's where everyone died. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. And then Kawata dies. Just out of nowhere. Kowata's been hanging in there a long time. Now he's not doing it anymore. See, really you just decide when you're going to die in this movie? That's probably true.

Kowad says something to Shuya about like, we probably won't see each other again after this. And she was like, really why? Like you thought they were going to hang out? And then he dies. And then he dies. And then the kids are on the run in Japan. Yeah, they go find the butterfly knife that slashed the teacher's butt. Yeah.

There are crows eating trash. Uh-huh. As crows will do. And there's, Shooya has a little end end, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, -huh, as crows will do. And then there's, Shouya has a little end monologue that ends with like, run! And I did, I don't know how the movie ends, I just took off. I'll tell you, it's one more basketball. One more basketball, and then, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, one more basketball. Uh, that's why my last note is not that damn game again. It's not even a good game. It's not a good game. And then we also have a basketball flashback where Shuya is sitting on a folding chair

in the middle of the gym and there's like a basketball moving backwards up to Nobu. Nobu is waving like an animatronic clown. Yeah. Why is he doing that? Because he's saying goodbye. It's why would he? Okay. I don't know. Also, the final basketball flashback we see the, they're playing half-court basketball by the way, just in case anyone was wondering. Five on five, half-court. It's crowded. Five-five. And they win the big game.

And then we see Mitsuko is like happy, but she can't find any real joy in life so she has has to walk out of this room full of happy people. Yeah, she almost caught herself being happy. The end. Katie, we gotta do it. It's at this point, they know what we're gonna say, but go ahead and give me a rating on this movie. I'm giving it a 10. I absolutely adore this movie. So good. It's definitely a 10, 100% agree with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hope it was funny. But if not, we've like 425 other episodes. I'm sure we're funny in one of them.

Yeah, it's fine. Try to find that one. They said it was a comedy podcast and only one of them is funny. It's episode 292, whatever that is. Hmm, I have no idea. I like that you looked at the sky like you might know what it was. I used to have all the episodes written on the ceiling. Oh smart. Katie, can I read you a message from a patron? I would love that.

Hi, Katie and Alan, heart emoji. Hi, heart emoji. I'm Ellie from Indiapolis. So your actual podcast is a hilarious godsend. I cannot stomach violence on screen. Like to a level I should probably the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the episode I should the the. I should the. I should the. I should the. I should have the. I should have the. I the. I have the. I have the. I have the. I have tho. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have the. I have the. I have thea. I have to toea. I have toea. I have toea. I have thea. I theeea. I thea. I thea. I your actual podcast is a hilarious godsend. I cannot stomach violence on screen like to a level I should probably run by a therapist to see where on the padded cell spectrum I fall. I mean it's better than loving, loving, loving violence right? Because we do and I think we're kind of insane. Yeah, but it's it's a spectrum. Yeah, but we're there's just on the other side of it. It's fine. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I should the. I the. I the. I the the. I the the. I the. I the. I the. I should. I should to to to to to to to to the spectrum. Yeah, but we're, there's just on the other side of it. It's fine, it's fine, everybody's fine. I'm just saying, just because I love to watch people be murdered on television, doesn't mean that I'm like, there's something wrong with me, or... Just because I'm excited when one child stabs another child to death in their genitals doesn't mean that anything wrong with me? Just because I screamed, Whoa! When that happened, I don't think that says anything about me.

But I've always been intrigued by horror films. I'll watch trailers and then read the wikis because I hate not being able to experience a whole category of storytelling because I don't have the brain juice for it, which is not the brain juice. It's just you're a sensible human being. You're probably fine. You're probably fine. So actually getting to vicariously watch them through you too is so enjoyable and provide something I wanted for a long time. Oh, Ellie. Thank you both for making great content and being awesome as shit. Oh, thank you.

Love's Ellie. Thank you so much. Loves Ellie. Thank you so much for being a patron. Thank you so much for your kind words. It means the world to us. It really and truly does. Katie doesn't lie. I doubt I do but not about that. So thank you. You can be a patron on Patreon search for wherewulf ambulance ambulance. It's in our link tree. Yeah, what else we have to say to these people? I don't know, find us on the internet. You can buy merch on T-Public to search for whereof ambulance ambulance. Mm-hmm. We're on the Twitter's, we're on the Instagrams. It doesn't matter, does it? What movie are we going to do next week on this podcast. Oh, I've been awaiting this for a while, and I think you have to.

And I think they have to. They knew it was coming. Scream sex! Not Scrimix? I have to look at it. Hang on here. Let me pull it up. I think they put the I and the V in the M. the M. the the M. the th. th. th. the th. the the. the th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. the they they they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have. they have. they have. they they the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the theee. the. the. to they the. they they have they they they have they they have they have they they have they have they have. the the. the the V in the M? I and the V in the M. I and the V in the M. Let me see here. Yeah, the V in the I and the M. Sorry.

Screevy. I think Screevy is as close as you can get. Yeah. Screavy. Katie and I are not in the same room as you probably guess by this point in the podcast and I'm just watching her Consternation trying to figure this out of the screen in front of her. Oh, yeah Screevy screvy. I just clicked back over from the browser to my face and it looked like this. Screvy face. Screevy so come back next week for Scream. It's on Paramount and then I think you can rent it for other places. I know it's a bit costly, but you probably don't need to see Scream 6, do you? Return of Kirby, what are you talking about?

Of course they do. Alan's so excited about Kirby. I'm not, it's just the one character I remember. What about, um, I don't remember what happened in the last one? Wait, she was in four, right? Kirby was in four? Yeah, I think they're in New York city too? There's like a subway scene. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Samarrow weaving's in it. Your girl's Samara Weaving? I love Samara Weaving. I know you do. She's so beautiful and funny. Yeah, I like their. I tho' their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. their th. th. their their th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the it. Your girl Samara Weaving. I know you do. She's so beautiful and funny. Yeah, god damn it. What a bitch! Stupid bitch. Oh. All right, on that note, let's say goodnight to these nice people. Thank you so much for listening to another

episode of Wearolph Ambulance. Thank you. Bye. Maybe acts are not dead pools, Savinies times at the pool. No way to the windlets to fulfill reviews. Killing glass and let the face, Can in every space, A pewts I've cast in case. Please make I continue to break. E and to break. EFT. A moral comedy reviews hungry, Brian,

Irving, Brian, and Stephen King. E.M.D. We don deliciously bad temperatures Obesley has begun to date. A paranormal act continues from Mr. Rogers to me. Rogers City, EFT, EFT.