Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 439- Puppet Master 4 (1993)

Episode Date: July 31, 2023

In this week's episode, we're back to the well of one of our favorite madmen, Charles Band, with the 1993 film "Puppet Master 4." It's exactly what you expect in all the right ways. Special topics for your consideration include: a ska news minute, high highs and low lows of puppets and animation, sexy (?) outfits of the 1990s, DECAPITRON, and the utter befuddlement that is trying to make sense of a Puppet Master film. Plus: a delight of a voicemail. Have we done "Puppet Master" and "Puppet Master 2," you ask? Of course we have: Episodes 164 and 165. Have we done "Puppet Master 3," you ask? No, of course we fucking haven't, then we may have understood the plot of this movie. Maybe. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and get in just in time for BEVERLY HILLS COP month, plus a few years' worth of other action films. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Hi Alan. Hello Katie. Could you tell the fine, fine folks at home what you were watching when I walked in the living room this evening? Oh, that would be Poppett Master 5 because I needed to know what happened after Puppet Master 4. Why? Why? Do you know what happened in Puppet Master 4? Because I sure is fucked on. So Puppet Master 4 ends on... Is there such thing as a flat road hanger? I think you're just, you run until you become one with the horizon, I think is what it's doing. It's not a cliffhanger as much as it's like a countertop hanger. My last note just says, LOL what? My last note says, really? Holy shit movie? But we'll get there. We'll get

there. First, I want to tell you one thing, yeah, I've upgraded my equipment for this podcast and I bought myself a Bluetooth keyboard that can connect to my phone so I can take notes on my phone while typing on like a like a regular computer keyboard I don't know how long have we been doing the show? Eight years? Eight and a half years? Why did it take me the song to think of it? Are you Steve Job? I'm Steve Job and as a result I have thousands of notes. I wrote so much about this movie? Are, th tho tho th th th the th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi the theat thoes thoes thi thi thi thi tho- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th so th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th so th th so th so th so th so th so th so th. I th. I the the the the the the theateateateateateateateate an theateateateat toeateateat toeat toeat toeat toe an toe an toe an toe toe the th result, I have thousands of notes. I wrote so much about this movie. Are most of them like, wee, look at me! Look at me! No, all the notes about Puppet Master 4. Okay, and then the second thing. Yeah. What do you remember about our trip to the Puppet Master Universe?

Oh, the Puppaverse? The Puppverse? What do I remember? I remember the first one has Barbara Cramson in it. Very briefly. Yeah, a brief B cramps. I remember the second one is like, I guess Egypt? Yeah, that's my sense of the second one. Yeah. And then it ends with like the puppets murdering someone in a van. I think they turn on their master? Yeah, like whoever is like, I'm the puppet master now, dog. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I don't think it's too long that they turn on. I think we meet Toulon in ancient Egypt, maybe. We see him at the beginning of the first movie because he's, he, we see some Nazi shit. Do you remember there's notzy shit? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, and the Nazis, yeah, and the Nazis, yeah, and the Nazis, and the Nazis, yeah, and the Nazis, and the Nazis, and the Nazis, and the Nazis, and the Nazis, and the Nazis, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the Nazis, the Nazis, yeah, yeah, the Nazis are, yeah, th. And th. thi's, thi's, I'm thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I's, I's, th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. I's, th. thi. I's, th. Do you remember there's Nazi shit? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the Nazis are like coming and looking for him and he hides the puppets away and then shoots himself. I remember that very distinctly. We're like two gone. Yeah.

Aunn'er. Also, Andre Toulon sounds, what nationality do you? German? French? French? Yeah. Yeah. He's supposed to be German. Yeah, he supposed to be German. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's. Yeah. He's. He's supposed to be one of them French Nazis, the Vichy French or whatever they were thought? I think he's supposed to be German. Sure. I don't know. When his little head pops up on the little body later on the movie. No, the Decapituron. Charles Band, you fucking idiot. Uh, real quick can I get a news break from you?

Oh yeah, kind of jubilant. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. So I watched the WAM documentary that's on Netflix? Fuck yeah, how was it? It's fine, I'm not a huge WAM man. Me either, but I felt interested. I love a rock doc. Yeah, it turns out. But the thing I wanted to bring to the potting cast, did you know that WAM started their life as a SCA band?

No! That is breaking news. Called like the Executives? I love that. I actually love that. Yeah. I love SCA. You hate Ska? You hate fun.

Yeah. That's all I have for my news break. Okay, but also ancient Egypt or whatever the second movie. It seems like a lot of things happened in the third movie. That we are just totally a blank on. I guess. I mean, but the fourth movie is just like, I guess we're gonna start up talking about AI? Let's go.

Yeah, there's a lot of like modern-day concerns in this, huh? Oh, you like th like th like th like th like th like to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to ask to thue? tho? thi thi thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? tho? tho? tho? I thi? I tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? tho? thi? thi? thi? thi? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I's? I's? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I'm the. the. the. thea? thea. theaa. that's that's theaa. thea. theaa. thea. thea? thea? th, huh? Oh, you'd like to ask what ads did you get before your Pecococ movie? Ooh, I did not write any down so they must not have been too relevant. All right here I can go with all seven that I got? Good God. Some Marvel thing? Marble or Marvel? Carvel? Carvel? Fudggy the whale. that's a, the, a. Fudge? the thu. the whale. th. th. th. th. the whale. th. th. th. th. the whale. th. the whale. th. the whale. th. the th. the the the th. the the the the th. the th. the th. the th. th. thi. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Audgey the Whale. Fudgy the Whale. Isn't that just the Santa Claus turned upside down? Yeah, which is also the lepricon turned on its side. Yes, that's so fucking efficient. An app for babysitters. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, an on-star ad? Okay. You're elderly these days. You might want that. A hurts ad? OK. For when you wreck your car, you're going to need a rental. That hurts. A silk almond milk ad. Targeted to you.

Some show about the Zodiac killer. I would watch that, actually. And this, you just reminded me of but didn't show up on Peacock was that I got a targeted ad for something called a jazz fedora. Oh no! Did you buy it? No! Did I screenshot and send it to people? 100%? I don't recall getting that screenshot.

I expect to see it in my inbox later, before it close a business. Jazz fedora. So this movie opens on what I guess is Egypt? But it, or the underworld. Underworld. Underworld. Well, it looks. th. th. th. th. th, it. th, it. th, it. th, it. th, it. th, it. th, it. th. th. th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th, th, th, th, did, thu, did, did th. Did th. Did thu- th, did, did. Did th, did. Did th, did. Did th, did. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did, did, did, did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did th. Did thi. Did thi. Did thi. Did thi. Did thi thi thi thee thi thi thi thi thi. Did thi. Did thi. Did thi. Did th guess is Egypt? But it, or the Underworld? Underworld. Underworld. Okay, well it looks like the set of legends of the Hidden Temple, so I really can't tell what it is.

Yeah. It's so budge and I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm kind of endeared to how shitty Charles Band is. Yeah, I the's the thing I call Charles band a fucking idiot. I love him. I love him It's like what if Roger Corman didn't have an eye for talent? But like less mean most of the time too. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he's not like Let me give a Joe Dante a shot here. Let me give like Fred Young or whatever the director has been his name. And Charles Band is one of five people who wrote this film, and you know a film is good when it has ten hands in the pot. Well sure, I mean they say the more cooks the better the kitchen.

The broth is better. More flavor, more saver. While we are panning over the legends of the Hidden Temple set, we hear what sounds like a fake Vincent Price laugh, but then it goes on so long it might not even be laughing, it might just be someone breathing kind of close to the camera or to the mic. It's very weird. And then we meet a character that I can only describe as a bubblegum nutsack man. What were they thinking with this guy? First of all, look at the tits

on this thing is a note that I wrote. Look at the tits on that thing. Oh I think they're called pecks. I think they're pectoral muscles. They were droopy. They were droopy and their nipples. This, uh, this demon, I think this is Zutech the demon. the tip. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tits tits tits, tits, tits, tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. tits. tits. tits. tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits tits tits t, his mouth doesn't move. No, his lower jaw scrotum does not move vaulted. Not at all. And he's a puppet. Yeah. And he's a big puppet. A gigantic puppet. But a bad puppet. His elbows only move one direction and it's side to side, which is not generally the way you want your elbows to move? I mean, moving one directions worked wonders for Harry Stiles, am I right? I'm gobsmacked. You genuinely caught me speechless.

Good work. Oh man. Oh man. Oh, Richard Band is back doing the music for this. I also referred to that guy's uncooked meat Satan. It's, I mean, for it's like cute as the, and also menacing as the other puppets are. Yeah. This one is just absolute trash. It feels like such an afterthought that they were like, we could get this donethis done next week yeah no problem. It feels like it would show up on the set of

labyrinth and be like oh can we not have Sutec? Yeah everybody's out out out. Out. Out. And so Sutec explains some things about reanimation and he's gonna send his like action figures up to take care of some stuff. I already missed all that. I was just so mesmerized by its tits. This is where I have the note hell of a job on production design, Milo. Yeah, why is that person just called Milo? I don't know, he went to college, I guess. That's a great descendants. Thank you. I love the descendants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we cut to a person driving in the rain. Okay. And then they pat a box as they're driving. I don't remember who this is. My next notes are already in the Omega Project Lab.

Right. So this person is driving to are already in the Omega Project Lab. Right, so this person is driving to the aptly named Biotech Industries. I like that a lot. GMO Farms. And yes, he delivers a box that's to be delivered to the Omega Project Robotics. Right, right. Everything in this movie is a first pass. It is Omega Project. Yeah. Also the logo of it looks like it says Smegma Project. And I just thought, didn't anybody squint at this?

Or is that not a word back then? Part of the Unclean Dick Project? I guess so. Sounds fine. There's like a woman working with a robot and the robot solves a puzzle and I was like, wow, impressive. Or just like, wait 30 years. I love that there's like, you know, a robot arm doing a thing, but they were like, this isn't impressive enough. Let's do some molded plastic springs on top of it in gears. They don't do anything, they don't do anything.

No, no. It's like the robot arm has a tattoo. Yes, and she's got a science code on, so she's a scientist. Why wear it to work on robots? Who can say? She absolutely looks like your teacher is going to take her glasses off and shake her bun else. She's very hot for teacher is going to take her glasses off and shake her bun else. She's very hot for teacher. And then she keeps walking over to her computer using one hand to type a few letters and

walking away. It was so distracting. She's awkwardly all the time. You know her. She would just be in the middle of something. Walk over, type three, four, five keys, walk away. She sucks. Yeah, she sucks.

So she gets brought a box by Stanley. Right. And she opens the box and it's a action figure puppet? Yes, and I have to say I think this looks great. Sure. I like the effects on this quite a thii. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like totally, it doesn't say demon, it's just like fun. What happens when she picks up the puppet toy? It bites her. Yeah. It fights her. Yeah. It fights her.

And then I think at one point while she's being attacked she goes over and types again. So this thing is attacking her. It's probably about, I don't know, 18 inches tall. And it looks like a little just creature with sort of a triangularish head. Something maybe slightly Egyptian about it if you like threw a piece of spaghetti at a shower curtain map of the world and it hit somewhere in Africa. Do you think its triangular head was the inspiration for Silent Hill? Oh I hope so. Yeah, I'm gonna go with Yes. I remember liking that character. Sure. That was spooky than the Buxham Bandage Nurses. That was weird. One of them titty nurses came after you. I'm a titty nurse but I'm blind.

Her fingers get chapped off by the puppet. Yeah I you. I'm a titty nurse but I'm blind. Her fingers get chapped off by the puppet. Yeah I like that quite a bit. Did you now? I did. Oh man on board with this movie I love it. I gotta be honest with you it's terrible and I love it. The power goes out so she gets locked in her lab like that seems like a real fucking insurance rich. What what is it a Tesla? Katie and I recently rode in a Tesla together with maybe a serial killer. Yeah we are lucky to have survived that eight-minute trip. He kept talking about how much he wouldn't have a girlfriend that was a sociopath like him. Yeah I just kept looking at

Alan and thinking I hope he can just keep talking to him because I'm not going to. I have a note says she dies. and thinking, I hope he can just keep talking to him, because I'm not going to. I have a note says, she dies, hell watches. Because hell was watching her die, like it was a TV show. That's where I wrote, these guys who look like they belong in a He-Man cartoon are watching. There were some orco moth-ma-sk. They are very orco-esque. And then the doll absorbs her essence, soul, spirit, energy?

Some sort of mist. Sure, let's go with that. Some sort of mist. I was real unclear on that, so I'm glad you said so. And then I have a note that says back to the hotel from episode one. Yes, the Bodega Bay Hotel in California, where we meet Rick or Ricky, who's here being busy with his rock and roll and his solder gun. Missy referred to him as William Gretzky. I guess he looks like William Zabka and Wayne Gretzky had a kid together. He sure does that, doesn't he? He, I think, is famous for being famous for being in the Left Behind series, which has been covered largely

by our friends over God-awful movies. So if you have any interest in hearing about him, play Nikolai Carpathia? Carpathia! Deer? Dear Go, do you listen to it? Elron Hubbard, who wrote those books? I have no idea. Nikolai Carpathia. Nicolai Carpathia. Speaking of first passes, yeah.

This numb nuts plays laser tag with some robots. He's hot for robots. He wants to fuck some robots. He's disappointed because the robots can't laser tag. Yeah. Oh man. Oh, and we saw the doctor before she died, the lab lady, she called Dr. Baker who's an actor that I recognized, I feel like he's in a Robocop movie or something.

All right. He seems like he belongs in the Robocop movies. Yeah. But so she calls him and then he gets a package in the mail. That's right. Got it. That's also a little murder doll. But truly who is delivering those shipping crates? Just a band of puppets?

Because the puppets are all at the, they're all at the inn. We keep seeing this guy from behind. Do we? Do the, who is. the, who is, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. who's delivering the thing. He's wearing like a a Newsy's cap and a trench coat. I just assumed that was like, you know, whoever had to pick it up as the courier. But every time he walks away is like, oh, I'm the doby, doby. I miss that. And he wants away. And he was like, but are you too long? But the thi. the that. But, but that. But, but that. But, but that. But, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th. th. th. th. th. thus. thus. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. Who. th. Who. th. Who. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. th. the. thus. thus. Who. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who's. Who. th long? Are you the devil? Easy? Who is he? Who knows? I remember being extremely confused at the first movie. I remember just a feeling of complete befuddlement. Sure. And this one really carried that on. Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say this is not gonna clear up that for you at all. So who shows up to hang out with William Gretzky? His girlfriend? Yeah. You know her? Susie. Why would I know her?

Oh, I don't know. She'd never been to nothing. Okay. And I can't imagine why. And she brings two friends with her. That's Lauren and Cameron. Cameron. Lauren takes a lot of naps and is very delicate. As a psychic, it's really hard for her. Right. Then I remembered all those other movies being about psychics. Remember there were like four psychics that got called to the hotel in the first one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there might have been some psychics in the second one too. Oh I have no memory. Yeah. But yes. Egypt. Yes and. Yeah. Exactly. Cameron sucks. Cameron sucks. Yes. And you know this by how perfect his hair is. His hair is, I would say, excessive. Sure, it's giving like Morrissey vibes. It's giving the kid from 90210 vibes. Yeah, the kid from 90210 for sure. Yeah. I mean, this was 1993, so that's prime, 90210. Okay. I guess I was thinking this was an earlier movie. I think I just think of Charles Bancor's thi, I thin. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'd th, I'd th, I mean this was 1993 so that's prime 902.00. Okay, I guess I was thinking this was an earlier movie. I think I just think of Charles Band as being from the 70s and 80s. Oh, he's still ongoing. He's still going it. He's still a going concern. We just did that 90s one with shrunken heads.

Shit. D.M. Fiend on Twitter and other social media recently updated our letterbox that they keep for us. And I was reminded that we did shrunken heads when I was looking through that. I was like, what is the? Oh, yes. Oh, God. I didn't hate it.

So camera is a dick and he's like, I work for science. I work at biotech. Yeah, he's a big science guy. And I work with Dr. Blipety Blough. And Rick is like, well, she's doing my research. Yeah, she's testing my experiments. I'm the smart boy now. And apparently this has been a long-running feud between them of who's the smart boy,

which we should care about because reasons. Yeah. Yeah. But also, neither of them give off vibes of being the smart boy. No, they're both idiots. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one. Yeah, I feel half tempted to read the Wikipedia plot summary of Puppet

Master 3 just so I can enjoy the rest of this movie. But I can't, let me see your setup. Let me see what you got. Let me see what you're working with. Yeah, let me just play around on your computer. Show me your research. Yeah. Show me your dick. Let me see that hog. Put your dick out on the table.

And we'll get the fucking ruler. So they go off to huh, his robot's real hot? Yeah, she's feeling some sort of psychic pain. Yeah. Then she goes and wanders off and then she passes out for some unknown reason. She takes like eight naps in this movie. I don't know what is wrong with her. I do like you referring to this woman passing out as a taking a nap. They're always just like, well, Lauren needs to lie down, like she's going to get crabby.

Passed her time. We also see, I think this is Dr. Baker, put the puppet into the barrel of nuclear power that he has under his glass tabletop. It was like a nuclear reactor incinerator. Okay, that he had under a glass tabletop in his office? Uh-huh. Okay. It was also labeled top-secret and you know you got to label your top-secret

or no one will believe you. No one. But if you classified, top-secret, extra special. You got to show them to everybody, exactly. Weird people that are at your country club. You should record yourself doing this. You should get re-elected as president. Don't. Sorry. We were having a laugh. But his kill is really disappointing because it's totally off

screen. Dr. Baker. And I thought what the fuck Charles Band. I like that you think that Charles Band had anything to do with this being like, besides being like, okay. He wrote it. He's one of five writers. He wrote at least 20% of it. Put my name on that. No, how dare you? He is an artist. He's in his office with a fleshlight ignoring everyone around. You don't know him, like I know him. I'm sure he's a grosso. We get a line from Susie about how she's not eating because she's training for a triathwan. And I was like, what?

No, never mind, Susie. You have to eat so much food. So much, no one knew nothing. Not even like a power bar, Susie? No. So they're trying to, like, Lauren's screens because she's seen this trunk, because trunks are terrifying. Yes, well she's told us that she works in psychic research and she's a channeler, whatever

that is. Who doesn't? Oh, okay. Hmm. And so they're like, she's like, don't touch the trunk. And of course, Cameron and Rick are like, well, let's open the trunk. You're gonna open the trunk. And it's, I think someone is whispering, I am with you, which I thought I heard, but I could be wrong about. No, I think that's, I thin. I thi. I think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the too. too. too. too too long. too long. too long. the. too long. too long. too long. too long. too long. too long. that's too long. that's that's that Yeah, because he, okay, the first movie, the puppets are the bad guys. They're murdermen's. They murder the other psychics, because they were working for one of the psychics who was the new puppet master after Toulon, I think.

I think so, yes. But then they turn on him, or is that the second movie, I think that's the second movie when we find out that they're also somehow Nazi affiliated or is that the first movie is Nazi affiliated. Wait the puppets aren't Nazis. But like the Nazis were trying to get their essence we learn in this movie I think. Right, right. What? The Puppets motivations are very unclear. I was's so confused because in this movie they're like good time but. They are good time but they protect the guy. Yeah. They're like, want to play laser tag?

We'll play laser tag. Yeah, they're just giggling and shit. I, yeah, I don't know. They're chaotic neutral, I guess. Yeah, I'm like a Hansolo. I guess. So, they're trying to get into this trunk and Rick is like, oh, I've got Murak acid. Let me pour that on the trunk lock. They're like hitting it with a hammer, but with the little babyest of all hits. Sure. It's like, don't zoom in on it then.

They're like choked up all the way to the head of the hammer. You're not gonna get any swing on that. No. But it's your torque. Murric acid. So they get it open. Who's in the trunk? You tell me. Pinhead? Pinhead.

Tunneler. Tunneler. Sick shooter. Six shooter. Who's laughing? constant shuckling was really annoying for a while and then it became very unnerving. By the end of the movie I was like I'm scared of that puppet. So someone designed that thing to have a smile right? Yeah. And then the people who make the movie were like, Will it would be constantly laughing if it has a smile like that, right? Right. Eh, eh? Hee, eh? And we've seen, I don't remember his name, but he's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thiiiiii. So, thiiii. So, so thi. So, so thi. So, so thi. So, so 't remember his name, but he's got spikes for eyes and a knife hand

and a blade. Blade, there you go. Not hook hand, which it really should be. Blade has been hanging out previous to these other guys being, and we briefly see them. And we briefly see Leach Woman at some point, but she's in and out. There's like a scene where they're all walking into a room and she's with them but we never see him again. Oh remember there's a torch too from the second one that sets the building on fire? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Apparently he comes back in the fourth or fifth one. Okay well you were

watching it you tell me. I didn't see him. I did see. I can't believe you were you were watching it when I wa wa w w w the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I walked th. I walked th. I walked th. I walked th. I walked th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I the second. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. to. te. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. the beginning of the fifth movie, spoiler alert. Fine. It picks up after this movie, but Rick has been arrested for the murders in this movie. Well, yeah. And then the next 15 minutes of part 5 are a recap of this movie. Thank God. Thank God. Thank God. 15 minutes of an hour and 20 minute long movie. That's great though. It's the

last movie. I mean that's efficiency. That's gonna cut down on your margins, that's gonna cut down on your overhead. It's true. Also in this box with these three pupets. Oh, also the is the gesture in this too? Jester shows up at some point, but I don't know when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when when the the the the the the you th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the th. 15 to to to th. 15 to th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. 15 th. th. th. th. th. I th. I the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, also the, is the gesture in this too? Gester shows up at some point, but I don't know when he appears, yeah. They find two lawns liquid that gives life. It is like highlighter fluid. It looks like the reanimator fluid from the animator. Yeah. Everyone holds it up to the light when they look at it too and I think but why. Yeah they're looking at

the puppets and one of them says to they're like what is that and the and what's his name Cameron? Yeah says some kind of mechanical doll and I was like you're a fucking robot expert what you mean some kind of mechanical doll? Isn't that a robot? I like that they kept saying artificial intelligence when they meant robot. Yes they kept saying artificial intelligence when they meant robot. Yes, they're not the same thing. They were really confused on that because the woman at the beginning is impressed that the robot can actually solve the problem.

Not that it can just move things around but that it solved the problem. You're like, wow, sentience. But then they're just like sometimes moving your hand is artificial intelligence. I don't know. What do they do with the two lawn liquid? Uh, at this point I don't remember. They shoot into every single one of the puppets. They shoot it into every single one of the puppets, yes. I was hung up on the fact that there's like this weird scene of the psychic looking at the doll, Larn looking at the doll and Rick looking at the doll, and Rick looking at nothing, and the other guy's just making a jerk off motion.

I was just baffled by this. Do you think that was just something that was happening on set and they were like, now leave it in? Just cut, just don't cut it, yeah. I was just like, maybe, test one of them to see what happens if you think this will reanimate them? Yeah, maybe. Not all three? Oh, yeah, see, I'm way back in my notes because I took so many notes.

Like I forgot to mention that, uh, Cameron says to his girlfriend, babe, it's a 50-year-old trunk. He's not going to ruin it. By hitting it with a hammer, okay, may you speak to Cameron please? At what age do things stop being ruinable? Do you look at the pyramids? You're like, knock them down, who cares? Hit them with a hammer, baby. It's a 3,000-year-old pyramid, knock it down. Oh my god.

So, a Nazi, hate those guys. I did like that. I appreciated that. Na, so I hate those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho like that, I appreciated that. Nazis, I hate those guys. Oh right, I wrote one hour, 19 minutes. The length of this film was one hour, 19 minutes. Sure. Ten of them are the man injecting puppets with a greenish liquid.

At least. At least. So, uh, Cameron says something like somebody pinch me. Yeah. And pinhead, who's my favorite puppet? Because when his hands are being activated, they're just some man's hands? He's so weird. And when you see him walking around, they're not man's hands? No, they're just just hands of a puppet. Yeah. Grabs him him and starts jerking a camera around. Yeah. Because he said, pinch me. Also, not to be confused with pinhead of hell razor.

This is a very, very different pinhead. No, this is a much more offensive pinhead. Yep. And everywhere he goes, he goes, Grrrh, ruh. They all have their own, like, distinctive noises. What do they, they don't, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, th, th, th, th, their, th, th, th, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, teeeeea. tea, to tea. tea, to tea, to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. What do they they don't speak but they emote with sound? It's uh because the gesture's like, huh? Huh? What? Instantly, Rick loves them. They're the greatest thing he's ever seen in his life.

I mean, he did animate them with a green liquid. I mean, yeah. Meanwhile, back in hell. Oh my god, this red wipe to hell. they're talking about how they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the their they're their they're they're their they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're like. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh. back in hell. Oh my God, this red wipe to hell. They're talking about how the artificial intelligence or something. I truly can't focus on anything the big puppet says because of his arms and his face and also everything about him. While he's talking, his arms are flapping. But back, like put your elbow to your side while you're listening to this.

Now, bring your hand across your belly and then out away from your belly, and then back across your belly. That's what his arms do. They don't like make a jerk off motion. That's what elbows need to do. God gave us elbows to make a jerk off motion. Yeah, and I want that on my tombstone.

Dear Lord. Yeah, so Elbow Puppet and his he-man friends are talking about the secret to artificial intelligence. Yeah. That's all I got. The end. And then we see this team of intrepid dick bag college kids go to bed. Yeah, the power has gone out. And Cameron says, don't you have a generator?

And Rick says, yeah, it's hooked up to my computers. Why would you have a generator that's hooked up to computers that are hooked up to the main power supply? Am I wrong? What do you mean? He says the generator is hooked up to his computers. Like he can't use the computer without the computer. Oh, I thought it was just a backup for the computers to make sure the computers kept running. For all of his smart business to be happening on them.

Like in a hospital when the power goes out and the generator kicks on to make sure the emergency lights stay on. Right, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, generally there are lights involved. Yeah, there would be, but not in Rick's world. See, the way I read it was that the generators were powered through the computer, which was plugged into the wall. I was like, Rick, you are not a fucking genius. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not at all. That's fine. I'm still going with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick with Rick. I the Rick. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. So as they go to bed, Cameron drags the trunk into his room with Laura. Why does he do that? Or Lauren, forgive me. I don't know. Because he's going to, he wants to figure out if there's more information in it so that

he can beat Rick to Smart Town. Right. Right, he's trying to beat Rick to Smarttown. That's right. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he pulls out a Ouija board with sort of hieroglyphics on it? Yeah, yeah. Instead of letters? And Lauren's like, it's like a Ouija board. I don't recognize the writing though. Let's do it anyway. Meanwhile in Rick and Susie's room, he's playing laser tag and she's going, he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he, here's the thing about Susie. If she wanted to get fucked, she shouldn't have worn that sweater vest. Suzzi is wearing ill- the 90s got fucked in that outfit. It's probably true.

I feel like I got fucked in that outfit. Congrats. Congrats. Congrats on your coitus. Your sweater vest, coyotes. God, fuck. I used to rock a lot of sweater vest. I think you can wear a sweater vest.

I think it's a weird on a woman over a t-shirt. Yeah. I think a t-shirt sweater vest is a weird look. But in the 90s I would also wear a like, I was a much thinner man back then and I would wear like a double X-XL sweater vest over a t-shirt. Sure, you got to have it be as big as possible. And then jeans, a jeans the jeans the jeans their their their the jeans their their their their their their their their their their their th. And their th. And thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I's thi. I'd the. I'm th. I t. I tie, I tie. I tie. I tie. I t. I t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's is t. I's t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I's t. I t. I t. I'm te. I te. I te. I te. te. te-s. te-s.e-s. t-s.e-s. t-s.eat-s. t-s. I you get fucked in what you get fucked in, I guess. See, but I just love that like, she's like, obviously like DTF. What does she see in him? And he's like, my toys, but my toys! I mean, he's playing laser tag with his new friends. He's got the music up really loud.

He's rolling around, just giggling away. I'd go homethe fuck home. Susie, go home and masturbate. Stay here and masturbate. Do something, Susie. Susie, get a book. So at the beginning of part five, she goes to pick him up from jail after he's bailed out

by Omega, the Amiga project. Right. And just, in the police station, he's like, look, I'm exhausted. I just want to go home and sleep. But she's like, but first. And they start like, tongue-banging each other in the police station? In the police station? Cut to them in bed at home, like making out. Or she's like, her smile is so strained. Like, as well, it should be. Sure. Like, I guess this is cool. so Susie here's the front doorbell

rings she goes to answer it and finds a box in the front doorbell well it could be in the box I have no idea I have no idea it's gonna be one of them puppets right no no we did see it twice already. And Lauren and Cameron have a seance. Right. Using the widget board. Right. There's a little pyramid on it. Yeah, what happens to the little pyramid?

The pyramid starts glowing red while Lauren makes sounds like she's faking an orgasm. She totally does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ah. Ah, oh, oh. The elixir. This is good weegee. We learn that the secret is within the pyramid. One of them says that. It's like, yeah, because of course it is.

Because Egypt, question mark? But the pyramid breaks open. Yeah. And what comes out of it? Monster puppets? It's a monster puppet. Several monster puppets, yeah. And this actor has a great, th like thake, the, the, the, the, the, the, thiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the thi, the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Wea. Wea. thi. thi monster puppets, yeah. Yeah. And this actor has a great high-pitched scream. I really liked this about him. Cameron?

Yeah. He's just screams kind of, he does like a womanly scream, which I really liked. And then immediately it's like I'm leaving. I'm out of here. This sucks. Yeah. What else would you do? That's the right answer? I don't know. Try to fuck your childish boyfriend. Oh, so he runs out to the car. He can't get the car started. Right. Childish boyfriend and sweater vest hear them screaming and come downstairs. And we see it's like the little puppet button balls crawl through a hole in the wall.

Did you notice that it had balls? I was like, I don't know. There's a bridge too far. All right, that was Charles Bands' contribution. I made these balls. And pup it's good nuts? How will we know it's a male? Cameron gets killed in the car, because he kicks Lauren out to tell us to push the car. Yeah, he's a real dick.

The creature was already in the car somehow because it starts going after Cameron's dick, speaking of dicks and cars. Why is it just lap based? Why is it just lap based on this? I don't know. He's really going for his groin though. Ay ayay. I wrote, this is like that scene in Titanic, so sweaty, so steamy, because the inside of the car gets so steamed up. It's like, was he fucking that puppet? Is he making sweet love to that puppet? Is he slapping that puppet's hand against the window and seeing the little heart appear? We make love? Do you look in the mirror ofpping that puppet's hand against the window and seeing the little heart appear? We make love. Do you look in the mirror, you're there.

They should be paying you royalties at this point. Oh, so they get Lauren, oh, Lauren comes back into the house. And says, it's all my fault. How is it all your fault, Lauren? Come on! Because I was dating Cameron. I knew it was a mistake. I mean that is a real toochnuckle. Yeah, at least he's dead now.

At least he is dead now. And Rick has to go to see because he just can't believe a woman when she tells him. of a thing? Yeah, well he's a robot expert so you know he's got this woman who works for him. He finds dead Cameron and then he gets attacked by the demon puppet. And where are the other puppets to protect him now? Why are they not out there looking out for him? Well they don't, I, they're like waiting in the house but as soon as they see these demon Why do they not like, maybe it's something that happens in three. Maybe those creatures are introduced in three. Do you think bubble gum scrotum shows up in three? I hope so I'd like to see him again. Yeah, he's definitely in five. So when we do that. When will I see his bubble gum scrotum? Yeah. Oh no, the puppets are inside fighting one of the other creatures? Right. Because they th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th th. th th. th. th th. th th th. th th. th th th th th thus th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Maybe th. Maybe th. th. th. Maybe th. th. Maybe th. Maybe th. Maybe th are the the the. the. the are the. the. the. theee. Maybe the. the. thooooooooooe. Maybe the. Maybe the puppets are inside fighting one of the other

creatures because they're holding him against, two of them are holding the creature against the wall and Tunneler just lowers his like spinny head and impales the creature. Yeah. And at this point I thought, you know what, fuck it. Like the puppets fighting the creature is so much fun that the rest of it honestly doesn't matter. On board, agree with you. Also thought these should be children's toys. I think what this what I've learned from doing this podcast, if anything, and I've learned very little, is that really what appeals to me most in the horror pantheon is like puppets and weird dolls. Sure. Give me a tourist trap. Give me a this movie. Give me a sorority bauntie. Yeah the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoerity. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th'm here for. Give me a tourist trap. Give me a this movie. Give me a sorority babes in the slime ball ballerama with that weird fucking puppet. Oh man. I love puppets. The cheddar goblin from Mandy. Yeah. The only thing I didn't like it with

a puppet is the item. Oh yeah. Couldn't do it for me. Yeah, because that's because that woman fucked that puppet. Yeah, she fucked that puppet. You wouldn't know though because you turn the movie on the front of them. No, I only know because you've told me. Look, we all get one. Look, we all get one. too'nake. the creature. We see them, the other puppets cleaning up Tunneler's head like almost lovingly. Yeah, they're buds. Yeah, I don't know, the

puppeteering and the animation is just really good. It's it's really fun stop motion animation. Yeah. Like really well done, like much better than it should be for this movie. It has no right to be this fun. Since the human acting is Nikolai Carpathia. Carpathia. Apparently that guy was also roommates with Brad Pitt at some point. Geez.

Brad Pitt's Canadian? As far as I know, I have no idea. We don't make it that beautiful in America. No, it's true. Our air quality is too bad. Here's another note I have written to myself. See, as much as I love puppets committing acts of violence, this is taking a bit long to electrocute the marionette creature. What does that mean? So they uncork Decapitron. Yeah, what is Decapitron? Describe it to me. It's a it's a puppet that looks like a sex pest. Yeah. It's got like a plastic blow mold head but it's all black and it's wearing black leather gloves. Very smooth. And they're like a we have to do something so they have to pinhead of all people has to climb outside of the building and hook electricity

conducting wires up to the roof. That's it. So the lightning can strike it and we can Frankenstein to Capitron back to life. That's right. breaking out the big guns. And the the roof. That's it. So the lightning can strike it and we can Frankenstein DeCapitron back to life. That's right. Breaking out the big guns. And also while that's happening, Sick Shooter is fighting one of the demon puppets. And Sick Shooter goes, ah-he-ha-he-ha, ah, ah, which means I need to hook this also to those electricity cords. They understand him. So that I can lasso th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thi thi-soa thine thine their their go their go their go their go their go their go their go. their go. their. their. their. their. their goes. their goes. their goes. their goes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. Breaking thea. Breaking thea. Breaking They understand him. So that I can lasso it around this man and blow him up. Right. So that's what they do. They do that.

It takes a really long. A really long. A really long. You know, it's a fickle beast. I guess so. And so they finally do that. and Decapitron comes to life, what happens when Decapitron is reanimated? He gets a human head. An old manhead.

An old manhead, which is Toulon. Toulon. But not Toulon from the first movie, because I recall that being Uncle Lewis. Yes, it's a different Toulon. And he like kind of just has all the information about Sutec, the Egyptian demon lord, and you know. He's the two lawn of exposition. He's the two lawn of exposition. It's so dumb. I mean, the thing is that he gives all the exposition here and I didn't write any of it down. Because like he's talking and I thought, me. I'm here for the puppets. I just have notes like they're going to use lightning to wake up puppet.

Monster comes in and Lauren screams, Susie escapes. Lauren is hiding in the stupidest place too, because she's under a table that's too small to hold her body, so her feet and head are out and she's just looking down at the ground because she can't lift her head up. What are you doing? I thought you were a psychic. Couldn't you see the foresee this being a bad spot? Well as you know, if a puppet can't see your core mass, they can't see you. Okay, so you want to crumble into a ball. And if you close your eyes you're invisible. So when these demon puppets start dying, the he-man characters also start dying in the basement. But when they die they just fall over. And then no. It's so good.

I have a note that says, holy shit, two lawns back exclamation point. I did not mean that. You sound just fucking thrilled. Holy shit, two lawns back! Oh, man, it's fine. And the creatures are attacking people, but sometimes they really like to take their time. Yeah. And sometimes they just eat them. Sometimes it's about eating, sometimes it's about doing a little magic.

Sometimes it's about lap dances. I guess so. So Susie uses Chekhov's acid to burn one of them. I've really thought that would come back to bite our hero in the ass. It does not. It does not. No. And they animate Decapitron. Yes. And he gets a new head that has guns on it and like television antennae. Yeah, that seems right. But just uses the television antenna to shoot lightning at the demon puppets. Yeah, I mean, obviously. And he kills them with the lightning. Pretty much. Yeah.

And then we learn that Rick is the puppet master now. Right? Like that? Yeah, okay. So, yeah, because Toulon starts talking through Lauren, which is weird and bad. Yeah, very bad. He said something about transcending linearity, which sounds like a Snapple slogan. I don't know, Alan. We must have really missed a lot of plot points

in Puppet Master 3. But on the other hand, you kind of have to hand it to them for making like no real reference to previous plot points that we'd we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we th that we'd th th th th th th th th th th th that we'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to th. too, tha. thau. thau. theooooooooooom. thau. toooom. tooombush, tooom. tooom. able to string it together except for Nazis. See, knowing Charles Band had there been actual plot points, he would have laid them out in the first 10 minutes of this movie. It's true. And then just the rest of it's just you know the other stuff. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then I have the note that says as referenced earlier. No, Suz Holy shit movie. Because it just freeze frames on Rick in the hotel by himself. Or no, Susie's there. Him and his puppet buddies. Protect the magic from those who seek to abuse it. Oh, because they're going to use it for evil. Who? The Demon People? The Creatures. Yeah.

Titties. Titties. Titty Titty. Oh, Lauren's napping again. So the puppets are good guys. so titties. Yeah. Sue titties. Titty Tick. Uh, Lauren's napping again. So the puppets are good guys now. And back on the side of Toulon. They're so inexplicable. But I guess that's what puppets are, huh? Yeah, I mean, puppet, they're just who's ever had is up their ass, right? Yeah. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. They're nobody. th. th. th. th. th. their nobody. th. th. their nobody. th. th. their nobody. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th., it's steep. There's a blue episode about it.

Oh. Katie, Alan. Give me a rating for Puppet Master 4. I loved it. Here's the thing, it's an absolutely terrible movie. Oh, it's trash. The animation is so fun. If you just would like, if someone would super cut the animation scenes together, I think that would be a 10.

Yeah. But they didn't. They put all the story, and I do that with the most exaggerated finger quotes into it. So I'm going to give it... Whatever you're going to say, I'm going to scream about. I know, I'm bracing myself. What, this is, what do we do when we love something but it's awful? You give it the night. It's a nine.

It's a nine. It's definitely not a nine, but it is in my heart. Also it's a, it's an hour and 19 minutes for fuck sake. There are British crime drama episodes that are longer than that. Yeah, you're not going to get out of a witstable pearl in that quick amount of time. You're not going to finish a midsummer murders before that. Oh my god. This is a solid three. But an extremely enjoyable three. Yeah. Because it's like, what it felt like to me was. th. th. th. their. th. th. the the. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. th. th. th. the the, th. th. th. th. th. th. three. Yeah. Because it's like, what it felt like to me was, we were watching a TV show that was about Puppet Master and this Dildo named Rick and his horny assurfriend who can't get no satisfaction. And Lauren, the irascible, psychic, and this menageray of like one-note fucking puppets.

It does feel like there should be like an intro credits where they all turn around on a chair and freeze frame and it's like played. It's very like, it's like, I would call this show Scooby-Don't. But it's got that kind of vibe to it. Like it was very plucky. It was very plucky. I loved it. And I'll probably watch Puppet Master 3 and 5.

Maybe I'll watch 3, you watch 5, and then we'll describe them to each other in an episode. I love this for us. Okay. In Puppet Master 5, Clue Gulliger. You love Cllu-Gooliger. 95% of our audience who's like, who the fuck is Klu-Gooliger? Oh, he's the boss from Return to the Living Tent. Terrible movie. He's off-road referenced in like every other episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Yeah, they do talk about Klu-Guliger quite a bit. Katie. Speaking of things we love. What? Can we listen to this voicemail that we got? Yes, I would love that. Hi, my name is Annie and I live in New York. I love your podcast. I found you through

God awful movies and the, um, those folks. Um, but you're wonderful and I love your friendship. Just listen to your episode on the offering and wanted to let Katie know that at my dad's funeral, which we had in Ohio, which is where he was born, we had a hot dog court come to the reception and that was the refreshments and it was awesome. It let people, you know, do the whole like sign the book thing and look a picture thing, but then go outside and get a hot hot dog in a soda and it was great. So Katie fully support your desire for a hot dog cart at a funeral. It's awesome.

I love you both so much. Sorry for this weird parasocial interaction with you guys but you make my day brighter. Hope everyone's having a great one and again, thanks. Bye. Annie, we love you too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to do to. to. to. So, to. to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to. So. So. So. So. So. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. to. to do to do to do to do to do to do to. to. to to to to the the to the the to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to's having a great one, and again, thanks. Bye. Annie, we love you too. We love you too. And thank you for doing funeral validation. It's gonna be awesome.

I love the idea of like being sad at a funeral and be like, you know what, gonna grab a dog at a sewed outside. I wouldn't want you to be sad. I would want you to have you to have you to have you to have you to have you to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot the the the to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot to have a hot the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to have a hot dog dog dog dog dog dog.. todaught toda todaught todaught toda.o.o. toda. today. today. toa. today. to be sad. I would want you to have a hot dog in each fist. Because it's going to be outside and it's going to be called hot dogs on the outside, which will be super morbid because I'm dead, hopefully not from becoming disemboweled. This is getting worse. I'll think about it. I'll adjust the document accordingly. Listen, you're gonna get your hot dogs from the titty baby. Yes. Got to get a a a a a tod. tod. to get a tod. tod. to get a tod. to get a to get a tod. tod. to get a to get a tod. today. to get a today the tod today the the toda toda tog to to the toda tog the tog the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog tog too to to to to to to to too toooooooooooooooooooooo tooo toooo too to to to to to to to the titty baby. Yes. Gotta get a titty baby up and there. I'm glad Nana isn't alive to see this. Or counterpoint. She and I can watch it together.

Yeah. Probably not, though. But thank you. That was very sweet of you. Thank you. Yeah. Your dad sounds like he was a real fun guy. Yeah. More fun, put the fun back in funeral. Why would you spell funeral without fun? What are we doing next week? Well before we get to that, I do want to give a shout out to a patron. Oh gosh. Oh gosh. And I want to give a shout out so they don't forget shout outs for people. Let's shout out a patron. Hi. This is what our patron says. Hi. Hi, Cetrine. Hi. This is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. This is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the the thu. the the the what our patron says. Hi. Hi. You can use my name, Katrina.

Hi, Katrine. Pran. the pronounced, Kutrine. I, everyone called me Katrine when I was growing up because my name is Catherine and the Italian Catherine is Katarina. So all the elders in my family would call me Katarina, but Katrina, but Katrina for short. Oh my god, we have the same. Did, did. the same, the same, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. K, th. K, th. K, th. K, th. K, th. K, th. K, th. K, th. K. K. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. thr. thr. thrown. thin. thr. to to thr. to to to to to to to thrown. thrown. the. the. the same. Did you write this? Oh shit, I did. I should stop giving us money. I'm certainly not the first internet stranger to tell you this, but here goes.

You two are delightful. Thank you. Your episodes are hilarious. Thank you. And you both seem like extremely decent human beings to boot. Thank you. Recurring phrases and jokes have now fully infiltrated my everyday conversations. And I've just generally gotten a lot out of the show. Keep up the good work for as long as you want to. Well, until one of us dies. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. That is so incredibly kind.

Yeah. Oh, god damn it. I've been in a shame spiral all week, because if you follow us on Twitter you know I went too hard at the GAM show in Detroit, threw up on the sidewalk. Had to do a bunch of apologizing. Can we take a second to celebrate the people in GAM, those god-awful booby people's? They are so good. They're so good. They're so nice. So fun't nice. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. their. th. th. th. their. th. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's to. I'm to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th so good. They're so good. They're so fucking nice. So fucking nice. It's so generous to accept my apology. All of the people who were there to see the show were so nice. So nice. Yeah. It was weird getting recognized though I'll tell you what. We walked in and we didn't get inside the door before someone was like are you an Allen getting from where off ambulance? I said, how do you know what we look like? Because I was just completely overwhelmed. Of course, we have a fucking YouTube channel. You put your face all over the internet. Oh, that's the look. I literally posted a picture of us on the drive here. Oh, while we're talking to Patron's and nice people and good things and good things hello to our listener, Adrian, who recently lost their mom. Oh yeah. And then had a baby a couple days later, which is high highs and low lows and a big emotional

swing and just want Adrian to know we're thinking about you and your family. Yeah, thank you so much for getting in toughs. Yeah. High highs, low lows. And just all the love we can send you. Yeah, and all the world. Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi. to. to. to hi. to. to hi. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. t. th. th. send you. Yeah. And all the world. High highs low lows. Sometimes you're having a great time. Sometimes you think you can pick up Heath Enright and it turns out you can't and you fall on the floor and drop him.

And then sometimes you'd puke on the sidewalk. I would like to stage for the record. It was not me who tried to pick up Keith. Definitely overestimated my own strength, but he's deceptively heavy too. Oh yeah, yeah, dense. He's denser than I thought. I expected his bones to be hollow. I don't know. Carry on then. But if you get a chance to see Gam Live, it's worth your time to go do it.

Absolutely. You'll never see so many phantoms dicks shaking at someone's face as you will at a game show. It's very funny. Yeah. Katie. Alan. Now I'm going to ask you. Yeah. What are we doing to do Pearl?

We're going to do Pearl. I'm so excited about it. It's finally streaming. Yeah. And it's streaming on. One of those streamers. Search for it on your Raku. Yeah, put it in your Google. You guget. Give it a goog.

But I'm very excited to watch it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think we were both surprised by how much we enjoyed X. I really enjoyed X. Yeah. So looking forward to this.

That was when I had to come around and say that I liked tie. Don't fuck it up, guy. Don't fuck it up. My opinion matters. You could find us on the internet. We're on threads now, whatever that is. I can't figure out how to do anything. I need somebody to give me a tutorial. Here's the thing, I don't think anyone has. Okay. I was very disappointed what I saw that Twitter is called X now and has nothing to do with exhibit. Or DMX?

Yeah, X is going to give it to you. What are we doing here? Yeah. Or the X Games? Oh, sure. What is Anthony Hawk up to these days? I think just being funny on Twitter, genuinely. Yeah, he seems like a good guy, Tony Hawk. I love what he tweets about th. thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was thi, I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, Tony Hawk. I love what he tweets about people being like,

you know what you look like? Yeah, I like that for him. So yeah, find us on the internet, thanks to everybody who's been buying stuff on T-Public. Yeah, that's awesome. We're gonna have new merch very soon, not through, I guess us. I don't have to figure it out. And you have no you you you have no you you you have No, you have no idea. You can't even imagine. This beautiful thing that one of us was like, hey, we should do this.

It would be funny. And the other one went, hell yeah. Oh, Alan, you know you can't give me an idea, because I'm just run with it. Or eight and a half years ago, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna give this woman an idea and see where we go. Here we are, eight and a half years. Happy anniversary. Sitting in my living room? I think that's the first time we ever recorded in the living room?

This is definitely the first time we've ever recorded in the living room. Yeah, but it's like... Because it's super fucking hot out of my house, That sucks. It's hot. Anyway, you guys don't give a shit about that. Uh, so come back for Pearl. Go buy a General Scospital T-shirt. Stay sick, you fuckers. Yeah, stay sick, you fuckers. I love that. And thanks for listening to another episode of Wearable of Ambulance.

Oh shit, is a boat coming in? I really didn't know what to do with myself. Bye-bye! Bye. Maniacs in our dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to do in Finland's to fulfill reviews. Gilling clouds and laugh the face. King in the atmosphere. Appearance a gaspice case. Please make I continue to pray.

END. Marlowe and comedy, reviews hungry, pride, and her wings and Stephen King. E.M.T. We live deliciously bad temperatries, obese, crazy gone to daddy. A pair of novel activities-concred to you died in. A paranormal act in cities, from Mr. Rogers city, EFT, EFT.

EMP.