Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 457- Willy's Wonderland (2021)

Episode Date: December 18, 2023

In this week's episode, chosen by our top tier Patróns, we're thinking, "didn't we just talk about this movie?" But we didn't! It's the 2021 Nic Cage film "Willy's Wonderland" and NOT a "Twilight" movie because our Patróns, lovely as they are, are COWARDS. Special topics for your consideration include: the return of teens who cannot act their way out of a paper bag, a brand new game, the motivations of Nic Cage, new Call of Cthulhu character names, and so many video games!  You a big Nic Cage fan? OF COURSE YOU ARE. You can catch him in Episode 74- "Pay the Ghost," Episode 108- "The Wicker Man," Episode 240- "Mandy, Episode 438- "Renfield,"" and if you search for "Vacation Episode" in our library, you'll find "Face/Off," which was a Patreon episode that made it into the main feed (April 2021). The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to all of our action movie episodes and vote on future episodes including MAYBE another "Twilight" movie, if you aren't scared of it.  leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.

Wait, what movie are we talking about? Okay. That's my intro. that's Wonderland. Yeah. Voted on by the top-tier Patrions on our Patreon. Despite my absolute best efforts to get another Twilight movie in there, I didn't see the poll till it was too late. I think a lot of people had already voted. I did plead with them not to vote for the Twilight movie.

Still 8% of them did or 11% or something. But normally asking them not to do something th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, to to to to to to, to, to, to, to to, to, to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to thi. And, to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, too. And, too. And, tothem not to do something is a surefire waiter to get them to do it. Especially when my ride or die, my partner in podcast life comes in hot. I'm so sorry for you that you have to be so associated with a person who is like just chaotic neutral personified. You know what? What? Couldn't ask for a better anything. You're the best. On that note, I'd like to read you a review week. I said Alan drew my attention to you right before. We started recording this podcast. One star would be great with the annoying lady. You meant without you fucking Dildo. Seriously, she speaks Valley girl, hates they live,

and has nothing to add to the conversation. First of all, the only valley I speak is Ohio River Valley. I think they live was fine. And I have many dick jokes. Such a shame because the guy's pretty cool. What in what world? You are pretty cool. That's the true statement in here. This was too annoying to continue to to to to to continue to continue to continue to continue to continue to continue to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, and tho, tho out tho out tho out tho- tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho. pretty cool. That's the true statement in here. This was too

annoying to continue with, oh, back to this. Oh, and she's one of those no, not the children, kind of people. Give me a break already. Skip this trash. I am fucking delighted. Can I tell you why? Yeah, why? I love this so much. This brings me a lot of joy. Can you imagine, how do I say this politely, being this like such a limptic loser that you're just like, uh-uh, this will not stand? I know, this is the first person actually to ever complain about my accent. So I feel lucky that we've made it nine years without someone being like, why she talk like that?

Like a Valley Girl? What fucking decade are we in? Appalachia, baby? This is all Appalachia. Yeah, but he's talking about the film, and I assume it's he, talking about the film, Valley Girl. Oh, I'm never seen about her.

Yeah. Yeah, no, you don't talk like that. No. He would be on an erudite level that he's just not rocket on if he was like, oh, Mon Valley. That's the valley I'm referencing. Excuse you. I'm more, I'm from really from the Allegheny River Valley, but most people in Pittsburgh to say it's the Ohio River Valley. Because you know the two two two two two two two the two the two the two th th th thi thi the thi thi together and make three. Really they don't. They make one. I don't know why we call it that. We weren't the smartest. Anyway, Willie's Wonderland, thank you for bringing that to my attention. I feel

great. I never know whether I should text them to you and be like, hey, look at this piece of shit. No, you should tell me when I'm here thin' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. their thi. that their that's that's the. the. the. their the. their their their the. that that that th th th the the. the. the. the. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. the the the the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's more fun for both of us. Yeah, we're here to talk about Williams Wonderland. I'll tell you what? Yeah. Watching this movie made me want to go back in time to two weeks ago and downward adjust my rating for Five Nights at Freedys. I'll tell you what? What? Watching this movie made me want to go back to two weeks ago and give an upward

thrust to my rating on Five Nights and Freddy. So strongly disagree with you. All right, let's talk about it. Before we get into it, Katie. Alan. I haven't done this in a while. Oh yeah. Would you like to play a game that I'm calling the Chucky Cheese? Oh yes. Katie. Alan. What does the E stand for in Chuckie thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to thi thi thi to to to to thi to to thine to to to to to to to to to to to thine to thine to to thine to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. thine the the the the the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thri the the theat theat thrieat the theat thrieat thrieat thrieat thrieat thrieat the Chuckie Cheese quiz. Oh yes. Katie. Alan. What does the E stand for in Chuckie Cheese? Edwards. Is that your final antler? Yeah. Entertainment.

His full name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. That is weird. It's a weird name. Which video game company was also founded, founded by the man who founded Charles Entertainment Cheese. Blizzard. No. Activision. Nope.

Same thing? Start to the NAI. I think 30, 40 years ago. I think 30, 40 years ago. And not an Atari. No shit. Yeah, I had no idea. Yeah, exactly. I thought it had to be newer than that. I don't know why. Wow. Wow. Wow. Atari. No shit! I had no idea. Yeah, exactly.

I thought it had to be newer than that. I don't know why. Wow, those are two fucking hits. I mean, Charles E. Cheese, sorry, Charles Entertainment. Cheese. Cheese came into, I wish Cheese-Walled or something. You know, when he got into show busy, shortened his name, made it less ethnic. Yeah. Yeah, when he came over here was Cheese, Cheese Waldini.

Yeah, Chuck E. Cheese's started in like 1977. No shit. Okay, all right. I have two more questions. What popular 90s band vocalist is the current voice of Charles Entertainment? Cheese? Wait, Chuck E. Cheese's still exist? Yeah. In America? In 2023? Gavin Rossdale.

What if you was just being so British and sultry and dumb? There's no sex in your pizza. Good! You should keep it that way. Glucerine! Okay, let me try again. Read me. What is the descriptor again? 90s band vocalists.

Oh, that's it. That's all I got. Yeah. Think food. Food? Hmm. Cracker. That would be great.

Remember Cracker? I liked Cracker. I have no great! Who have it? Cracker? I like cracker. I have no idea. Who is it? The singer of bowling for soup. One.

Wow. Jarrettic. I'm so happy for Jarrett Reddick. Is it respelled with duties? Love that, it is. Red Dick. See, I'm full of the original material. And now for my final question, I will ask you to choose which of these former or current band members were actually in Charles Entertainment Cheese's band.

Okay. You're ready? Yeah. Helen Henny. Helen Hanny? Hennie. No, that's no. That's true. Ew, that's a terrible name. Jasper T Jowls. Jowls? Like a, this Jowls? Yeah, I'll look at your big floppy cheeks. Yeah. Yes.

Yep, that's real. Oh, no. Tit mouse. No! She's a busty mouse keyboard tie. Oh wow we should start an adult Chuck E. Jeeze. Hold up. I just... Oh fucky jeez? Yes! Oh my god, Alan, this is how we... Copyright, copyright, copyright. This is how we make mail this podcast ourselves. You know this has already been done with a spray-painted sign in a back alley somewhere. Doesn't mean we can't also do it with apainted sign in a back alley somewhere. Doesn't mean we can't also do it with a spray-painted sign in a back alley somewhere. Perhaps this person should be in our band. Mr. Munch.

Mr. Munch. Is that a real Chuck-y-tease or not? I'm so worried that it is. Is it? It is? Yeah. What about Adam B Baum? No. He was a wrestler. He was a garbage-pril kid. Duke Nukam? No, that's a game. Yeah, Terry Hatcher. They're real and they're fantastic?

Bongripper? They're real and they're spectacular. Sorry. Bongripper. Real. Real. Finally, Pasqualee. Oh, I have a feeling this is a slur against my people. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, Pasqually was real. Real upsetting. Yeah.

I had a relative who changed his name from Pasquale to Charlie. Pascali is a fantastic name. I know. No good, like real good nickname though. Pass. Pass. Yeah. I don't know. Squally. Sqali. Sqa. Oh. Oh. Oh. S. S. It is. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I is a th is a th is a th is a th is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. A. I is a th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. A. A. A. S. A. A. S. A. A. A. A. I th. I th. I th. I th. It is a th. I is a th. I is a th. I is a th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S-a. S-a. S-a. S-a. S-s. S-a. S-s. S-s. S-a. S-s. S-a. S-a. S. S. S. S. S. th. No good, like real good nickname though. Pass. Yeah, I don't know. Squally. Squally just sounds like... Squally, Squally. Squally. Oopchie.

How far into this episode are we? Ten minutes. Oh, great. Let me lean back. I am a little surprised you didn't like this movie. Yeah. Maybe I've been in a mood, I've been in a funk, I've got the sads, I've got the morning, I've got the, I just got it all going on. I mean we all know I've got it going on.

You've got it, I mean, no one here. I mean, you seem pretty cool. I'm pretty cool. I'm pretty cool. This is a movie from 2021, which is of which Five Nights at Freddy's is incredibly derivative. But I guess it was based on a video game. I don't know which came first. Yeah, I could look it up, but I won't because I'm stupid. I will tell you that Five Nights at Fredies came out in 2014.

The video game, all right. And that much like when the lead singer of Mineral was interviewed and said, I recently heard Sunday Day real estate and I was not impressed. Oh my God. You are a liar, sir? You are such a liar. Or you have very bad short-term memory. That's the Mariah Carey Jennifer Lopez. I don't know her. Mm-mm.

Mm-mm. But supposedly the writer of Willie's Wonderland, formerly Wally's Wonderland, in a short film. Okay. Claims to have never heard of this video game before he came up with this almost exact same idea. You know, I almost buy it because of the terror of being in a place with animatronics. And the fact that I'd never heard of that video game either. And like if I hadn't, no one has, because you know I'm a huge gamer. Well, you are pretty cool.

Doesn't seem like it. This opens on the exact same cold open as Five Knights of Freddy's does, but with two characters instead of one. People getting dragged down a hallway. Yeah. And there's a black and white tube TV, I don't know, some blood? Yes. I liked it. No, it's fine. It's a movie of Nick Cage and a bunch of nobody's.

Yeah, yeah. I think had I not just seen Five Nights at Freddy's, this would have been a completely different experience for me. I think I would have liked it less if I had not just seen five nights at Freddy's. I'm likely we're having very different experiences. We usually agree on everything. That's decidedly true. So we meet Nick Cage driving a Camaro car, a Camaro car. Can we talk about his beard? How unflattering it is on him? So I was thinking about this.

You can dye your hair. Yeah. And it's like totally passable. Sure. Because hair is usually monochromatic. Right. Facial hair has a lot of different flavors going on on there usually. Yeah. And so him color obviously coloring his beard. Yeah. Obviously.

Yeah. It just looks really, because when you see him without coloring, he's got a gray beard as he would. A man of his... A man in his 50s. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also, he has, it's very tightly, it's a tight line.

Yeah, it's a very tight line. Yeah, the 30s looking. Way too low for him. It needs to meet up with his mustache. I felt, it, he to he to he he he he he he he he he th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, tho, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, too, too, too. Yeah, too. Yeah, to thea. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thea. Yeah, to to to too. Yeah, to to to to his mustache. I felt it, I just felt him hard to look at in this. Yeah. His character is so weird. Yeah. Someone described this movie as I'll do it, but I'm not saying anything.

He was a producer. He was an executive producer on this movie. I think he enjoyed the hell out of himself. Oh, I do too. I think had a great time with it. I mean, I think had it not had him in it, I would have like tapped out at some point. Yeah, that might well be it. I liked that he didn't speak. Yeah, for sure. Because I felt like it was him being like,

I've got this idea and I can do it. And I'm the only one who can do it. But just like, I wanted my Renfield moments with this. I love it when he just takes the governor off. And he does it a couple times in this, like when he's dancing and playing video or pinball. I loved that. That did it for me. But he's, so he's driving down the highway in his American muscle car, the Chevy, something or other. Pretty sure it's a Camaro. Is it a Camero? I think, I th, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the thi th th the the the the the the the the. I the the the the the the, I the, I th the. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the. I th. I the. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the thean. I theanan thean theananan theanan. I thean thean thean theann theann th. Pretty sure it's Camaro. Is it a Camero?

I think so, I don't know. I'm guessing. That's a car. I know you're a gearhead more than I am. I mean, I'm a gearhead. I'm a gamer. I am like so multifaceted. I used to have a Chevy Cavalier.

Oh yeah, that thing? Just two. What? I know. I once owned a four-door Nova. Oh yeah, that's a nice ride. So that gets you any indication of how cool I am. Very cool. He runs over some of those spiky strips, that I always find fascinating, because I just want to do that thing where you like, shoot them out. No. So like they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their, th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their, their. You were seeing like the thing where cops shoot them out? No. So like they're accordioned, right? And so you just take them and like kind of shake them out

and they'll go long. And then you put them across the highway, byways. That does sound fun. Yeah. Yeah. Whenever I'm at like a car rental place and there's the spikes and it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the spikes and it's like, don't drive over these. I'm always like, ripping the engine at them. Like, I just want to do it so badly. I don't think I could stop myself. When was the last time you saw those?

And the last time I rented a car? Really? I can't think of the last time I saw those. Yeah. I need to get back on your the rental the rental the rental the rental to get back on your your your your your your their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. I could their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tie., I. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. ti. I wasn't sure. Well, somebody ran at a car was for the, I think it was an enterprise, and it felt like that Burger King that had just become lawless. Oh, I love lawless burger king. Like the, the enterprise may have just been like, yeah, I've got cars. You want keys to cars? Well, 100 bucks a day?

Is that weird? Cash up front? Okay, too far. Too far. Too far. So we meet this tow truck driver that I'm 100% convinced is doing a dusty roads and he sure is. He's really talky and he's just like so down home.

He's the American dream. So it's a little bit lispy, a little bit yelly, just very dusty road, a little bit coquie, very dusty roads today. A little bit cokey indeed. And he gets picked up by the tow truck driver who is like, oh someone stole those off the cop cars recently, now we'll have to call the sheriff. Some teens. He's like, he's just talking, he's like, oh, what are you not a big talking? He's like, oh, what, you're not a big talker? Well, anyway, so back in the ninth grade.

I loved this guy. Yeah, he was fun. with Nicholas Cage that he will work off the thousand dollar repair to his car because they have no internet to use ATMs in this town and he's catch only. He's cash only. Nicholas Cage again is not speaking. He just puts his, just nods, just nods, puts his card back in his wallet and nods. We've met the sheriff who is arresting this young woman who is trying to burn down Willie's Wonderland. Yes. And she's a terrible actor.

Which one? The sheriff's fine. I've seen her. The sheriff's not the sheriff, the young woman. Oh my god. So just a deer and her friends? Mnuah. We haven't had really terrible teens in a while. No. And this makes me happy. And angry. And angry. Happy and angry.

Angry? Hang. Oh, that's when you're hungry. Yeah. Are you angry? Angry? And grappy? Fn't.

We'll work on it now. We don't we don't let's not No, we'll just work shopping you guys let us know do the work for us So she has some sort of the sheriff and the fire stata Have some sort of relationship that we're not aware of yet. What if the guy from prodigy. I know he's dead was the voice of Chuck Ech-chees now? I would like that a lot. I prefer the birthday cake comes out and he's like, Oh, we need the fire stop, huh? Oh, great song. Oh, smack my slice up. Um, sorry, I can't, I literally can't stop myself. I have popped the giant.

No, I want you to be able to do this. I want this for you. I want this for you. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I this for you. I. I. I th th th th th th th th the th the the th th th the the th th th th th the th th th the the the the the the the th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi threate threaty threaty threaty threaty threaty threaty thog threaty threaty threat. I thi thi. I just just just like stop myself. I apologize. No, I want you to be able to do this. I want this for you. I want this for you. Right, so the fire starter and the sheriff are there. And the sheriff takes the fire starter back to a trailer and handcuffs them to a radiator in a trailer. Maybe it was a house. Most of it in a house. You don't have a radiator in a trailer. It felt illegal, whatever she was doing.

Sure. And you're like, is this her grandmother? Like, what is their relationship? Yeah, because they're saying familiar things to each other. Like, love you too. Oh, man. I just had the note, trailer jail? Trailer jail? We get a montage of missing persons flyers. Yeah.

Where on which one of them Springfield was straight up spelled wrong? It was spelled F E ILD. And I just thought, how dare you? How dare you? But at this point, Nicholas Cage has already been brought to the Chuck E. Cheese. He gets there at the same time that the fire starter is being taken away. And they both stare at each other like Deers and Headlights for a moment. If I may, like Rinesme and Taylor Lautner in that one Twilight movie when that guy decided he was going to fuck a baby. That's right, he could have th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi theoli. thoo- tho- th. thease th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to t. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. t. Twilight movie when that guy decided he was gonna fuck a baby? That's right! He was gonna fuck a baby! We could have done the next movie! Wait, or do we do? Was that the last movie? I don't want to get him from what we did? Jesus

Christ, oh now we're talking about this. Could have been talking about that. I don't know why I just got myself so into the idea that we could do another Twilight movie. I would have killed myself. Do you remember last time we did a Twilite movie? You said, can we never do one of those again? I say a lot of things, Alan. And I did forget that that grown man wanted to fuck that baby. He was going to fantasize her about being like 16, before he was going to fuck that baby. Which would put him roughly in his mid-30. And it, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. And, to, to, to, to, to, t, t, toli, to, tha, to, tha, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toli, toli, toli, toli. toli. toli. toli. toli. to. to to to to to to to to toli, toli, t was gonna fuck that baby. Which would put him roughly in his mid-30s. And it's fine to fuck a 16-year-old when you're near mid-30s, right? Right? And I'm gonna hate everybody. This movie loves using the action movie cut with like a foom sound and like a close-up on a car hood opening and you're like, alright, all right. That very like Edgar Wright making fun of action movie montages.

Absolutely, and I'm here for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was fun. Yeah. I will say, I do agree that I think this movie ripped off the video game, but I think the movie for the video game ripped off this movie. Yeah, I think that's all true. I think having the cleaning montages in both films is just too fucking close. It's too close.

Yeah. And this was just two years ago. No one forgot about this. I mean, I hadn't heard of it, but that's not surprising. No one had heard of it. I know, I know. So he meets Tex Macado. That is going to be my call of Cuthul name in the next campaign that I am in and I'm going to be an irreverent Texan. I'm very excited. There's been talk of me running Mass the Rothlotep. Have you already played that? No, but is that a set in the 20s? Yeah. Okay, I could be texin. It's as big as Orient Express. Oh damn. I don't know if I can commit to that. I know.

You'll be so mad to me after I stop showing up after a while. I won't. I'm tired. You got some to do. I have a... I've a... I've a... You got a tid-baby your way th th th- I ttatatatatatata. You're tha tha. You're tha. You're th. I th. I th. I th. I to th. I to to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the the the the the the the toda. I the the the. I the. I that. I to to to to to to tid-baby your way out of this one? Chaotic neutral all the time. So he arrives there and eyes up the weasel in slow motion, which I really liked. Like he's waiting, like, can I take that weasel? Yeah, and it seems that he thinks he can. Sure. Yeah. So text tells them that some kids got hurt and they're going to, they try try to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thea thea thea thea thea thea thea they me me me me me sooing him him. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. they.a. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tells them that some kids got hurt and they're going to, they tried soon them out of business so he just closed the thing up. But he's going to bring it back.

Yeah. It's going to be a whole new thing. He thinks it's going to be fantastic and very popular. So they want to get it all cleaned up. Right. Texts Macadu tea. Nicholas Cage character who is credited as the janitor. A free Willie's Wonderland shirt. Ringer tea. Yeah.

I love ringer teas. It reminds me of being an emo teen in the late 90s. Sure. Yeah. Great looks. It reminds of you of being an emo adult. Well, the late 90s. Yeah. Yeah.

So he locks him in. Chains him into the place. I I I I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I to say. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. R. R. R. R. R. th. R. th. th. th. th. th. th. R. R. Ringo. th. thi. Ringo. thi. thi. treean. trea. trea. trea. trea. Ringer. Ringer. Ringer. Ringer-. Ringer-C. Ringer. Ringer. Ringer. Ringer. Ringer. Ringer. R. Yeah. So he locks him in, chains him into the place. I have to say that Sire and Sarah is a little out of place here with the other characters. More than. Yeah. More than a little. Yeah. She's the real, she's the Pasqualee of the group. She's the pasqually of the group. He's the one who make it a pizza. What if we had like, I don't know, a rat, a badger, and fucking Tinkerbell? We got one for the dad to want to fuck, right? Let's get that in here. Gotta get an animatronic that dads want to fuck. An alph. Animatronic I'd like to fuck.

Oh, sorry, I just launched myself out the window. It is wild to padlock him in there because the place has just been doused with gasoline? Yes! Yeah. Oh my god. So, Liv is the fire starter. Yes. And her friends show up to free her, this incredibly multicultural group of people, including Sandy

from the end of Greece Greece who picks a handcuff. She should have called her tuts after she did it. She is insane. She's like, it's kind of the comic relief, but also the only one that makes sense until she stops making sense. Yeah, and I think they had hoped she would take her titties out, and then I think at the last minute maybe she didn't. Yeah. Good on her.

Don't take your titties out if you want to take your titties out. No. But they keep calling Nicholas Cage's character the bait. Yes. So that's a clue. A clue. A thi. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A clue. A that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thi. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. thi. thi. that's. that's. that's. that's. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A.a.a.a.a. A. A. th.a. th.a. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. A. th. A. A clue. And he, for some inexplicable reason, which is never explained, is addicted to soda? Okay, I didn't know if it was so. I know it said pop. But I assumed that that was more of a description word. Like, I thought he was drinking four locos, is what I'm saying.

They called like punch. Punch, yeah. I just think it might be a four logo. You know, it had had like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. Punch, yeah. I just think it might be a four-loco. You know, it had like an energy drink vibe, but then it said pop on it. So was it like a jolt cola type thing? Or you're gonna like double your caffeine? I don't know, and it's never explained, and it never really even comes into play.

I, to my shame. I used to drink two, two liters of Mountain Dew a Day. Oh my God, Alan! Did you ever sleep? No. What did your piss? I used to say it for 24 hours on a shot constantly. Why?

Because I drank two, two liters of Mountain Dew a day. What was your pee like? Two, two later. My pee was like, shitty diner coffee. Yeah. Mountain two later, my pee was like, shitty diner coffee, yeah, Mountain two, and a whole lot of Mickey's big mouths. Oh yeah. So, dock. Oh, God. All right, we lost some people on that joke. Like my soul. Wow, that's so much soda.

Yeah, I know. I have since given up soda. I very rarely drink soda. It's only good if it's mixed with liquor in my opinion. It's only good at a movie theater. Yeah. Sometimes a slice of pizza and a root beer really knocks it out of the park, but yeah.

It's just a conveyance for me to be able to drink a poison that tastes bad. Fodkin Sprite, bring it on over. You make this whiskey not tasks like crayons, let's go. Not taste like sadness. So he, but like, never in my time of drinking way too much soda pop. Did I ever have to set a timer to remind myself to drink a soda.... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. th. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really. th really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it's really, it's really, in my time of drinking way too much soda pop. Did I ever have to set a timer to remind myself to drink a soda? Yeah, it's strange. Like, the Tex Macadoo tells him to take breaks.

He's like, okay, I will. And he sets an alarm on his watch, and his break is going and chugging one of these things and smashing the can. Yeah. Is he a robot? Maybe. Is he a zombie? Is he the spirit of this young girl's father, come back to save her? What is he?

Yeah, that also begs the question when she gets in the car at the end of the movie. Is he her new dad or her boyfriend now? Yes. Why choose? Why choose? But I will tell you what I do really like is the animatronics are just lightly moving in the background. And I also really love like a the whole town is in on it plot. I think that's really a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. This will probably alert you to the mood that I was in. I was getting really annoyed that every time he threw a soda can away, they were the same number of soda cans and the trash can. Oh buddy.

Yeah, so I think I was just in a pissy mood. That's okay. That's okay. It happens? I was too busy laughing at him doing the French talk with his his waist a little bit. I think he wanted to show off that redonculus belt buckle. Ah, that could be it. He had like a, I just won the championship rodeo belt buckle. Yes, he did. He finds a pinball machine under a sheet.

Yeah. And he's stroking it like it's a beautiful woman. Go fuck that pinball machine. And the art on the pinball machine is fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I I th, I I I I th, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, I I thu, I thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thin, thin, thin, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. thooo. tho, tho, tho, the art of the pinfoam machine is fantastic. Yeah, it's really fun. It's like proprietary Willys pinball. Yeah. And it looks really cool. And it reminded me of the old like Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons are. Yeah. Yeah. For all you young kids. I remember that from being very, very, very young. Yeah. Uh huh. He's also, okay. So he's playing pinball and drinking sodas or four Locos, or Sparks, my God, I loved Sparks so much.

Oh my God. Do you remember Sparks? Yeah, fist fight in a can. Yes, you think you're being so funny, but you're just saying the meanest thing in the world. I lost an entire show we played in New York because of Sparks. Oh, why did they stop making Sparks? Oh, because it was going to kill someone. Yeah. I do miss it, though. Your whole mouth and tongue being orange and just being like, ah, what a fucking invention.

And like, anytime someone would bring them out, they were like, ah? Yeah, it was like a little bit like cocaine. Look what I did. I got these. I'm just, I was, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was these. I'm just, I was, maybe we could do this. I feel like Fort Loco was more like, hey, come here, look what I have. Yeah, Sparks was darker. Yeah, Sparks was like, oh!

Hell yeah, Sparks? You guys want to go through bricks through windows? Yeah, not yet, but you will. About an hour. So he's drinking, he's playing pinball and then he goes back to cleaning. Yeah, he's mopping with trash on the floor. It was driving me bananas. Nick Cage sucks at mopping, which is really not surprising. I bet he's never mopped an actual floor in his life.

When would he have had to? He was a rich kid and then he was a rich guy. Do you think he was a rich cople a child? He's never never never never never never never never he he he he he he ola child? He's never had to work in a restaurant where you got to mop up every night. You've got to get super efficient at it because you want to go to fuck home. No, he was just too busy not paying taxes and buying what, dinosaur bones or whatever he was buying. Castles. Why pay taxes?

When you could buy castles. Oh man. The ostrich says to him, I'm gonna feast on your face! Which asked me if I liked that. Katie, did you like that? I loved it. It was so fucking stupid. It's so stupid.

I loved it. Oh, so they, like, the ostrichs pecks him in the face. Ostrage, also a weird bird to be in this band. You know why? Ostrages are the scariest in this band. You know why? Ostriches are the scariest animals. They're super fucking fast, they're vicious, and they have eyes that make them look smart. You know what I mean?

Sure, and they're looking around and going, okay, I'm a bird, but they can try to fly. Yeah, and I'm land-bound. their land-bound. But also I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they have. they have. they have. they have they have they have they have they have thoom. they have th. th. they have thoom. they have they have thou. they have th. they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. they have. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thease. thease. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. they have they have they have they have they have they have they have a long distance. And they can kick the shit out of you. Literally, they will rip your intestines out. Yeah, why am I not more scared of ostriches? Like, how often you encounter one in your day-to-day life? Not that often.

We'll see what we can do. Sometimes they will be at like a petting zoo, though. thooom-I'm like I'm not petting. their their their thi. thi. th. There's sweet eyes. Oh, a little Christmas donkey, come on. I feel like I can outrun a donkey. I definitely can't outrun a donkey, can I? What's a donkey gotta go? I know. What's a donkey's top speed? The typical speed of a donkey is 24 kilometers per hour? What is 24 kilometers per hour in miles? This is America. Here's what I found on the web. Oh, I have to convert it myself.

Thanks so much. I wish you would ask what that converts to in American. That's 14.9 miles per hour. Oh, you can out of the- I could hit 15 miles an hour. Oh yeah, for sure. Oh yeah, for sure. Let's see if I can, let's try it afterwards.

You rev up your car. Riff up my donkey. I just want to know if I can out run a donkey. What Nicholas Cage can do is fight with a mop and a a bird to death with it. He does smash it with the stick. And then he pulls out its cords, like a sub-zero fatality, which I think has to be a reference to the end of Mortal Kombat, yeah. For sure. And he's like covered in blood but it's like machine grease?

I am here for it. What's he do? It puts on a new tea. Go, because it's a new t-shirt. French tax it. Ayah, yay. So we get a scene where we see the sheriff knows that something's up in the town tonight. For some reason she's brought in a stady for this. Yeah, she called in for back. Well, she knows that he's being sacrificed because she was there when the chatty tow truck driver

brought him over. Right, right. But we don't know that she knows about the sacrificial element of it yet. I already knew I feel. Because I wrote myself a note that said I love when the whole town is in on it. I don't think they were hiding it. No, no I don't. But the film itself is not revealed that she is in on it. I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. the, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, but the, but the, but the, but they. But, but they. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, right. But, the, the, right. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, right, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, No, no, I don't. But the film itself is not revealed that she is in on it. I guess. Because when Tex Macado leaves him there, he says something like, let's get out of here. I can't stand to hear a grown man scream.

And you're like, oh. Texa-Dexa to do is such a good name. So fucking genius. You know, of the somewhere in Tennessee or whatever, Macadoos? Macadues. Um, so this is where he, Nick Cage, figures out that he is indeed locked in. He tries to leave after fighting the ostrich. And then just goes back to cleaning up the pinball machine. Well, I guess this is what it is. Machine is pretty dirty for having been covered with a cloth, but all right. And then he goes and just cleansed the the the the the they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, thi, th. th. thi, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's is thi, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi. Ny, is thi. Ncag-a. Ncag-a. Ncag-a. Nick is thi. Nc-a he goes and just cleans the bathroom. Yeah, which is covered in graffiti, but he is able to just wipe it off the walls.

He sure is. They have the diaper changing station labeled as the wee weasel changing station, which I liked a lot. And we also see that he's put duct tape over the injury on his face. Yeah, because he's tough tough robot man. It's a tough robot man. I think it's probably better to not do that and not if you hold off. You don't think putting that adhesive into your wound? Yeah. Superglue? Fine. Duct tape? No. You have to remove that duct tape. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And pull the scab off. Yeah. And pull the scab off. Yeah. Yeah. And pull the scab the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the sco the scab the scab the scab the scab the scab the scab the scab the scab th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That gotcha. Pulling this, the phrase pulling a scab off, that gets me a little bit. Yeah, yeah. But when we start our emo band, do you want something to cry about? Pulling the scab off, it's definitely going to be one of the songs. Yeah, I'll get desensitized to it.

It's already happening. Maybe just picking scab, Ola, Willie. I'm so angry. Tito is a turtle. Tito is a turtle with like really racially offensive facial hair. And hat. And hat. Oh yeah, he's wearing a sombrero. He's wearing a sombrero. So he's cleaning the bed, the men's room and he hears the, or no, he's out cleaning the pinnabonging the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, the pin, room and he hears the, or no he's out

cleaning the pinball machine and hears the men's room door slam shut. So he goes to investigate and sees that there's something written in blood on the mirror. The one that he just cleaned. Yeah, yeah. It says it's your birthday. Yeah. What a threat. Yeah. We're gonna party says it's your birthday. It's your birthday. Yeah. What a threat. Yeah. We're gonna party like it's your birthday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's? How do you think it was a 50-cent? I don't know who I'd rather be haunted by? Anmatronics or 50-cent. Yeah. Animatronics. Probably. Although 50 cent is doing a really good job of trolling P. Diddy right now? Which I'm pretty into. Is he? About what? About his assault charges? Yeah.

Yeah. Like 50's never hit a woman. Hmm. Allegedly? Allegedly. Oh yeah, I'm not getting sued. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. shit fuck that guy oh yeah fuck that guy for years I've wanted a machine that takes P Diddy off of every track that he's on yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna you hudd you ha me he was excited yeah he was excited you know who was excited big he was excited yeah yeah he was always so excited. Oh yeah. Two breath-ex. So, who comes running out of the stalls at him? The gorilla? The gorilla.

What does the gorilla say to him? What does the gorilla say to him? I'm going to eat your eyes out and feast on your soul. Shit, calm down, hellraiser. You're a gorilla. That made me cackle. Then they fight for a long time. And then he curbsomps the gorilla into the urinal. Not before the gorilla says you're as icy as an igloo,

hot as a pancake on a grill and just as yummy, and that's how he's doing the hot and cold game for him to get there, which is gross. But this is a sheer delight though, you're right, him curbstomping a gorilla into a toilet is fucking fantastic. What's going on with this movie? I love it. I love that they bleed grease. I just think, I don't know I love this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gets a new shirt. Well first he duct tapes his tummy like an Instagram model.

And he throws the gorilla away in trash bags. Yeah, shoves little pieces in the trash bags. He's here to clean. And I have the note why the constant so does. I don't know. This is never explained. I true some water my guy. You're gonna gonna gonna the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape.. ta. ta.... tape. ta.... tape. tape. tape. tape. tape.. This is never explained. I drink some water, my guy. You're going to get kidney stones is something I wrote. Tonight, a roommate who was a bike messenger and his... No, you've told me this and I don't want to hear it again. I don't want to hear it right now. You've made me gag twice tonight. You got it. It's very gross. email us at Wehrlph Ambulance at Gmail.com and Alan will gladly type it out for you.

I also really love every time they show Willie the Weasel. Yeah. The lighting on him is just like spectacular. It's always from the bottom up. He's lit from below, his mouth is sort of like a gape and he's really menacing. And I'm here for, I love it. I love this. Sorry you hated it. Fine. I enjoyed the very stylized animatatatiz. A anime-A the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiaealized thiaeilized thiaeilized it. I love this. Sorry you hated it. Fine. I enjoyed the very stylized animatronics in Five Nights at Fridays. Yeah. And I get it. I mean, these are supposed to look like they've been sitting around for years. And that they were shit to begin with because it was a shit time for making things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, the teens show up. Oh, these fucking dumb kids. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. they's. they's. they's. Yeah. they's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. these fucking dumb kids. Well, every one of them has a gallon of gas with them because they're going to burn this place to the ground. Right. Even though they know he's in there. Even though they know. They must have driven there. Why did they discuss the

plan? Oh, they were too busy partying? I don't know. These people would not together. they also like, no, not at all. They also like do this thing where it's like a very obviously intentional group of people from different backgrounds, and there's one of them who's really angry and it's the black guy. And I just feel like, what are you, like, what's you doing? He's the only one with a significant other too. Yeah. Ah, very weird. So they go, yeah, they think they're just burning the place down, but Liv says she's getting the guy out.

Yeah, and she, how did she get inside? She says, well, she says, I'm going to figure out how to get in without putting you guys in danger. You just figure out how to get us out once I do. And I'm like, probably through event. Isn't that hell he got back in in five nights at Fridays too? Oh yeah, I wonder if that's in the game. That would be the real who copied whom? Yeah.

Who made who? Who made you? Is that the next line? Who made you? Who made you? I don't remember? It's been too long. Since we did that that trunker death would be.

Oh, maximum overdrive. Oh, my god. For Stephen King was friends with ACDC. I mean, given the opportunity, I would also be friends with ACDC. Oh, one hondo. Yeah, I want them to play my birthday party. Oh, that'd be so great. Right, maybe they can play our birthday party that we've yet to plan even though it's in two months. I was thinking about that the other day. Yeah, we'll talk about it. So, yeah, she climbs through the air duck, Willie hears her climbing in and the

alligator starts chasing her through the duct. Yeah, and I think the chomping chomchomch chom but that alligator was way too big to fit into that duct system. I don't know, man. It's true, they are super natural. Yeah. Or are they? Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Yes, the other kids says how much THC is in this and he goes, no clue.

Ah, weed is weed. All weed is weed. Is that how those weed people talk? They do talk a lot about indica on the sativa and the THC and the Zedivian. No, weed is weed, the wine is fine, relax. I'm just looking for a body high, Katie. I want a real body high. I just like when I melt into the couch. I don't know, smoke weed. That's what weed does. I'm a bad person and a bad friend. I don't know. I don't know. Because you're not a snob about shit? No, because I'm trash. I guess I don't mean I'm a bad person. I'm a trash heap. I don't know. I don't. You you. You you. You you. You. You. You. You. You're not. You're not. You. You're not. th. th. the. their. their. their. their. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm trash. I guess I don't mean I'm a bad person like I behave badly. I mean I'm I'm trap I'm a trash heap. I only want to drink cheap yellow beers I'll smoke any weed. I just don't want to oh what's a what's quality? If I'm being verbiolatis with you what are the reasons I don't smoke weed currently is because it's too powerful now. I need the shitty weed. Oh I need the shitty weed from my childhood. You need to build up your tolerance. It's true. That's probably.

You're gonna get you on the weed. The Willies is filling with smoke. Yeah. And Tinkerbill slash Siren Sarah is now chasing her around. Yeah, she's like sort of goes to like she's gonna punch it. The thing about this actress playing live, is this is a very physical role and she is not a very physical actor. No.

Every time she has to move, you're like, oh no. Oh no, is she going to make it? So the janitor hears her screaming. And now he's going to go and save the day. Or maybe. Meanwhile we're back outside with the teens and they found a ladder to the roof. And the girl who's dressed as Sandy from the the the the the the the the the the the thiiiiiii thi thi thi thi th and thi th and th and thi th and th and thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol- thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. So, th. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thatee is thate is thatea, thatea, thatea, thi. So, thi.a.a. So, thi.a. So, thi. So, the outside with the teens and they found a ladder to the roof. And the girl who's dressed as Sandy from the end of Greece, but with a much shorter skirt, is like booty climbing the ladder?

In a way that I would never have dreamed to do, so nice work to her. You don't want to be popping pee going up the ladder? I never thought about it. Every time I have to climb a ladder, I'm just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the toe the the too the tooe the the the the tooom. Oh, I'm just just just, I'm just, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, going up the ladder. I never thought about it. Every time I have to have to climb a ladder, I'm just like, Oh no. Clinging to it with all of my might. And her boyfriend is like, hey, don't look at that guy, leave her alone. That's my butt.

One of them, and I don't even watch what it was, I deemed Dawson's Crick? Was that the guy he was like, at the, who like tries, who believes that the one animal is different from the other? Yeah, yeah, he's definitely Dustin's Crick. Dosten's Crick. Well, they end up in Willie's Wonderland because they fall through the roof into the ball pit. Into the ball pit. And Liv has a switchblade, but she's running like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a the th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a th, like, like, like a th, like, like, like, like a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. th. th, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, the the th, the th, th, th, the the th, th, the th, the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the, the. theauooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. the, the, th. th. gross. And Liv has a switchblade, but she's running like a person who's never run in her life. It's the fucking saddest thing I've ever seen.

Those knives are mad illegal too. Oh yeah. The spring loaded. Yeah. Where'd she get that knife? Huh, I mean you can get them. You need a knife. She doesn't have the internet. It's true. Or or a me in her life.

Yeah. Because you'd be there at five not five nights at Freddy's at Willie's Wonderland. We're told that there was eight members of the band which is just too many. It's too many. And when we first see the band on the TV in the beginning and like the commercial that we see. It's like four. What there. We were. We were. We were. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there. There's there's there's there's like. It's like four. It's like four. There's like four. There's like four. There's like four. There's like four. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's the the th. It's there's there's there's. there's. there's. the the the the the the the their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. their. Yeah. their. their. their. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the when we first see the band on the TV in the beginning and like the commercial that we see. It's like four. What's that? There's four and the gorilla's playing drums. Never did the drums come back again. And you know how sad I was?

There was no drums in five nights at Freddy's. I'm sad that neither of these's going to be most realistic. Sure. Anybody can strum a guitar, I did it for years. I'm not very good at it. We find out about the super happy fun room. Yeah, which is where the satanic ritual went down. Which, like, they see it, the teens, the teen couple sees a sign for the super happy fun room. And they're like, oh, because teens can always fuck. It's wild, every situation. Oh, you're a freak? A freak, freak?

A freak, freak? So this is where we get the flashback of Jerry Robert Willis, one of the last century's most sick and sadistic stereo killers. Yes. He's great. Everyone would know this story. This would be a John Wayne Gacy level, like, and now I'm wondering, does everybody know who John Wayne Gacy is? Yes, they do.

Okay. I mean, one of them says after numerous missing person reports and suspicious smells coming from Willys, the law decided to investigate. Like, yeah, after how many, how many? How many smells? But what he was doing was taking families into the super happy fun room for a private show by Willie Weasel, which sounds oddly sessy.

You're gonna see that Weasel's Dick. I'm gonna show you Willie Weasel's Willie, for sure. So yeah, the law closed down on him. And he wouldn't be taken alive. So he and his like, staff? His cohort. To a satanic suicide ritual and put their souls into the robots. To which I wrote, ha!

And I was just like, where have I seen this before? Where is that? Ten years later, Tex Macadoe reopens the place. And I was just like, where have I seen this before? Where is that? 10 years later, Tex Macadoo reopens the place. Tex Macadoe had borrowed some Nick Cage's mustache dying material? He sure had. And they say after several ghastly incidents, it was shut down again. And one of them is just siren Sarah saying, want to fuck fatty to a chunky kid?

Ask me if I laughed at that. I know you laughed at that. I like things that are wildly inappropriate. Yeah, you do. Wanna fuck fatty? Oh, no, you big-headed weirdo. No. Ew. Although, bit bit of an elf. So why not just bulldoze it? Because Willie got to him, convinced him to make a deal with the devil.

Right, because the animatronics were getting out and murdering people in town. So the town was like, hey, what if we bring you people to murder and you leave us alone? Alternately? Yeah. Bulldoze it? Other people who didn't get got to like Tex Macaduted? Yeah. Just knock the thing down.

Yeah. And then one of the teens says, speaking of Backwoods in Breads, where are our friends? What? You leave Dawson's Crick alone. Dawson's Crick is wild. Where are their friends, Alan? Oh, the ones that are fucking in the super happy fun room? Yeah, she's horny for dead kid killers because reasons.

You know how kids are these days. They've seen so much pornography that they just got to get off on weirder and weirder shit. I really thought you're gonna say they've seen so much true crime media that they have to get off on weirder and weirder shit. Yes and. The porn hub meets my favorite murder continuum. How? Never did get that beef started with them. They're just too big. Yeah, no, though, I mean. There's punching up and then there's like shooting your punch into the sky. Punching the clouds. I'm gonna get you one of these days. Who should we punch up at next? Who's next for us? I don't know. I mean, I want to say, I'll cut that out. I think you should just bleep it and let them them them them them them them them them th you th. I'll th. I'll just just just just just just just just just th. I'll just just just just th. I'll just th. I'll just just just just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just th. I'll just to to toep it and let them guess. Will you? Yeah, of course.

Uh, so then Night Night Night att attacks them, moth fucking? Night Night Night. His name is Night Night. His name is Night Night. And no, it's not. It's Night Night Night. Okay.

Oh right, he gets impaled by the night even though it's really more of a slashing weapon. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, th impaled by the night even though it's really more of a slashing weapon Sure, sure yeah, yeah I think it's nightmare No night is out attacking the other guys because they're still fucking with their clothes on uncle Frank style Yeah, yeah, because the kids are all separated at this point and a cage is just playing pinball. Yeah, and ignoring like them being attacked and stuff. Yeah, like when you said He's here to save the day day th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi thi thi to save the day, he is not. Only when live is in danger does he react. And only, but only, like at one point he hands or a switchblade and walks away to drink a soda or for loco or whatever. Well, because he has to go drink his sodi. Is he just...

I know? A soda monster? What is wrong with him? I don't know. I don't know. I like, it was like I was being tantalized with a mystery that I did not want to solve. Or that I expected to be wrapped up for me at the end because there's no clues. You know, you're not giving me anything with which to solve it, so you must just be about to tell me in the thir thir the thir thir thir the thir thir the thir thir thir thir the thir thir thir the third thir thir thir thir thir thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm. I don't. I don't. thi. thi. thi. I don't. I. I don't. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the thi. the thi. thi. the thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin., you're not giving me anything with which to solve it so you must just be about to tell me in the third act. No, never

tells me. Maybe they forgot where they wrapped the movie like, fuck! We didn't mention the Sodey thing. Yeah. Oh man. So one of the kids, Dawson's Crick calls the sheriff, who hangs up and says people make their beds they they're, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. their their th. th. thinks, their their their thinks, their their thinks, their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the. We's the. We'll will will will will will will will will will will will thooooes. We'll thea. We'll thea. We'll will will will will will will wills wills will wills, their their their says people make their beds they got a lie in them and the Stady says pretty sure the slogan is protect and serve Sheriff which I liked a lot. I loved how wildly his accent his like southern accent would just be like well I don't know I think it's a pretty good idea Sheriff you're like buddy. I got a wife and kid at home on the way, and I gotta work extra overtime. What? So the siren is fighting someone, throws him into the foam pit, like that.

Yeah, you're talking about Sire and Sarah. Sire and Sarah. Nick Cage bashes the night to death against a wall despite him having a helmet, and then cuts his head off. Yeah, with his the the the the th, th, thia, thia, thia, th, head off. Yeah. With his own sword. But then there's this like slow-mo, like Mandy-style music shot, where he's again making eye contact with the child, with Liv, who as far as I can tell as a child.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. It's.

. the alligator was the thing thing thing thing thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti.a. ti. ti. ti. th really wish the alligator was jerking it because I am a bad person. So it turns out I'm actually a bad person in many ways. Wanting to see an animatronic alligator jerking it to teens fucking makes you a bad person. Also I would have laughed at that. Oh my God, how hard would you have laughed at that? Real missed opportunity. So he then goes to fight? Oh yeah, because the gator kills Bobby. Yeah, just eats him. Yeah, and then eventually kills Kathy as well. Bobby and Kathy, those people's names. And then Nick Cage kills

the alligator. He kicks the door all the way in. All the way in. And does what I can only assume is an homage to the original King Kong where he breaks the way in. All the way off. All the way in. And does what I can only assume is an homage to the original King Kong where he breaks the alligator's jaw? Yeah. Which is what King Kong does to a giant lizard in the original King Kong. Also this alligator is French. It's wearing a beret. Yeah, probably Cajun. There's a joke in here about it running away from Nicholas Cage. Cajin, yeah, you're right. Nicholas Cajun, he does own a home in New Orleans. Yeah, but you're right, he pulls its jaws apart and reaches in and pulls out all its inside stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then we meet another one that I hadn't seen before that has like a pokey triangle head? The fuck was that? I didn't know what that was. I don't even know what that was.

Okay. They make fun of my colorful skin. I just want to be free. I'm not like the other... Oh, that was the frog. It was probably a chameleon since its skin was changing color. Oh, I don't know.

I could not tell what it was. Yeah, it's like trying to convince like one of the kids that just be its friend because everyone always makes fun of me and I'm not like them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trust tr trust trust. Yeah. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust, trust. Trust trust, trust, th. Trust, th. trust, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that. that. that. that. thi. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi you can, because you are extremely fucking stupid. And this is where Nick H. Abandons live with a knife to fight the frog because he has to go drink a soddy. Right. Right.

Yeah. And somehow... Wait. Oh, this is where we learned that the animatronics got out and murdered the contractor who was supposed to bulldoze the place and his family and the ice cream shop and the school. Because the kid called back and told the sheriff that Liv was in the building. Right, and she's telling the state trooper about this. Right. And we see a flashback of Liz, Liz's parents being killed at the beginning. You got it. Right. Who were the original people that we saw at the beginning of this movie?

Which is weird because she's also doing this little bit about how they tried to pick people with low moral character? Right. Because Willie likes to watch people fuck. Yeah, and a family of three, obviously the lowest of moral character. A mother, a father, and a little girl. Murder them. Yeah, I mean again, not a lot of thought. And also just the idea that Liv had to know that her adoptive mother fed her real mother to a demonic machine. What are you going to do? What's you gonna do? The young sheriff sees young Liv and's like, oh I can't let this child die, I must save them. Yeah. Could save their parents too, but whatever, you know, fuck it.

Also why did the animatronics not eat her? Because she was hiding. They hadn't found her yet. All right. You know how kids be hiding. I guess so. You're right that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that the triangle-headed creature has a very long tongue, so that adds credence to your theory of a frog or chameleon.

Yep. Because they use the tongue as leverage to like flip her over, which I liked. It's very ridiculous. And then the sheriff eventually gets there. And after Nick Cage saves the day for live again with the frog chameleon, yeah And then he kicks open a door and the sheriff is there I guess so is this when he Has he already put on the country music on the jukebox by kicking it which I feel like he had to have written himself?

And it's a country version of head, shoulders, knees and toes. Oh, that's right. That's, I think that happens now. Okay, yeah. So weird. Why? Why does that exist? I don't know. And Nick Cage is way into this jam.

He loves it. He loves it. that's his favorite song. No. Yeah. Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that. th. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that's that's that. that that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that. that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. year. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I only know about his one kid that was in a black metal band. Yeah, the first, I think that's his first child. And then he's another child is named after Superman. Cal-L. Yeah.

It's so weird. Don't do that. Don't do that to your child. Frodo? No it's not. No he isn't. Sorry, all the Frodo is out there. So right now someone just took their headphones out and was like, I thought I was accepted. Frodo, Gandolf, we have to go. They cuffed Nicholas Cage and leave him in there. He chokes out the siren with his thighs? Mm-hmm. Which I think is a reference to, um, also a reference to Mortal Kombat Bresd can do that that that that that that that that that that th.. Oh that that. Oh thode thode thode that. Oh. Oh thode thode thode? Oh thode? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh, th with his thighs? Which I think is a reference to also a reference to Mortal Combat. Kassonia Blade can do that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all. And then after he no longer needed his hands, he breaks the zip tie handcuff. Yeah. How? He's got to twist him. Got it. Yeah. Is that sure? There's something you can do you're like, if they're loose enough, you can get them bound up and then like snap them.

But yeah. They're rarely loose enough. Yeah, it's not the point, is it? No. And then Tito the turtle, he catches a ride on a car, and kills the state turtle, he killed who? The state cop. That's right, he kills the state cop and then has a confrontation with Liv on the road by the police car, maybe? Yeah, that's right, because Liv's been put into the cop car. Right. Right.

She, the sheriff was staying behind and he was supposed to take her back to the station. Yes. Right. And you know it's Tito because he keeps saying things, th, th, th, th, th, th, th he th he he th he th th th th th he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because he thi, because, because, because he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to th, no moss, no moss. Live moss. But she like beats him down and then runs back to Willies. Why does she do that? Why does she not just run him over with a cop car? Because then we wouldn't get this hilarious ending. Okay, okay, okay. You're so mad right now. He's still clean in the place. Still clean, getting in tip-top shape. To which I read, how do, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how do, how do we we we we we we we we we we th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, th th th th th th th th th th tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. too. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. too. too. I'm not. He's still clean in the place. Still clean, getting in tip-top shape. To which I read, how do we still have 20 minutes left of this movie? Well, don't worry,

10 minutes of it are going to be taken up with him cocaineally dancing to some song and playing pinball and doing like 80s New Wave dances. Yes. I was worried when he wasn't speaking, that he wouldn't get to be Nick Cage, but he's managing to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do they they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they, they, they, to they, to to their, to to to to their, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to th, th, 20, 20, 20, 20 th, 20 th, 20 th, 20 20 20 th, 20 th, 20 th, 20 th, 20 th, 20 th, 20 th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. How, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to toe m. toe mcoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. te, te when he wasn't speaking that he wouldn't get to be Nick Cage, but he's managing to do it silently to the proprietary synth pop song. He can do it. He can make it happen. Yeah, he just projects strength at the end, fist in the air. I have a note here that says, finally the cans are starting to pile up. Yeah, there you go.

Some continuity for our friend Alan. And the sheriff is pissed that Nake hasn't died yet. Yeah, that GDSOB. I love that, that JDSOB. He really just walks out the door, waves and goes back in. What's happening? I don't know. The sheriff gets ripped in half. Yeah, Willie slaps the top half of her body off like a cat knocking your water cup on the floor.

Just like does it and then looks at you. Weasles known to be strong. They're known to be crafty. Sure. Yeah, weasily. Yeah. So then Willie and Nick Cage fight. It's your birthday song is playing extra, extra slowly. Yeah. And Willie is clawing him up into the ball pit. Uh-huh. And I guess just leaves him there?

Yeah. Yep. Uh-huh. This gives Nicholas Cage the time to tape his broom handles together and get a sack of soda. So does. He bags up his sodas. That's what it is. And then he really gives it to Willie. It's pretty satisfying. Yeah, he rips off Willie's fucking head. Very fatality. Yeah. And then Dusty Rhodes is doing fucking

donuts in the parking lot. He's given Tex Macado the car. At this point we also see the siren is in a bag and in the dumpster and is not dead. No. Oh my God. Next is the most inexplicable scene. Hmm, please. We hear the dulcet tones of Freebird. The opening notes of Freebird. I gotta tell you something.

What? I used to karaoke, Freeberg because it's 11 minutes long. You get your whole time. Like I know we're supposed to be mad at them because the Rebel Flag and all that stuff. And yeah it's shitty. I think there's a lot of people we have to be who are higher on our list of people to be angry about than Leonard Skinner and like 90 of them are Ben Shapiro. Give me three steps Mr. Give me a a a a a a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a th, a thi thi, a thi, a thi, a thi, a thoom, a thi, a thi, thin' thoom. thoom. thi, thi, thoom thoom thoom tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Shapiro. Give me three steps. Give me three steps, Mr. Give me three steps towards. There's a lot of good Skinner songs. But Freebird. Tuesday's gone. Oh, what do you do? Heartbreaker. Simple man? Come on. Shoosh. But I still like Freebird. Yeah. Well anyway, it's playing. Everything'slo-mo, and Liv gets in the car with Nicholas

Cage and he hands her one of the drinks. And Nick Cage comes out of the Willie's Wonderland and tax Macadoo and Dusty Roads are there, and he's, they're like, oh shit, you survived, here's your car back. Yeah, he just puts out his hands and they give him the keys. And then he looks at Liv and she's like, yes, yes, thiiii, thia. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. th. th. thi, to to to thi, th. He's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th. And, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. And, th. He, th. He's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, tooooooomomoooma. Hea. togu. togu. togu. togu. thi. ta, thi. And, ta, they give him the keys. And then he looks at Live and she's like, yes, daddy boyfriend-husband. I'm gonna call you daddy and I don't know which way I mean it. Either way, it's weird. Either way it's weird. He like looks at her and hands her the open can of four loco. And then she drinks it. She's like two-hand drinks it. Like a Tick-talk mom with her like warm cup of tea Oh tick-talking mom so cozy and then

sir and Sarah comes out of the trash with gasoline and blows up Tex McAdoo and Dusty and herself and herself yeah yeah yeah she had no will to live and then wey Roots. And herself, yeah, yeah. She had no will to live. And then we see Tito, who went in his offensive facial hair walking down the street, and they hit him with the car. For a second, I thought you said, indefensive facial hair. And I was like, that's a weird thing to say it, but I appreciate it. No one's attacking facial hair and his offensive facial hair. And his offensive facial hair. My last note? Yeah. Lovely. Oh, so good. Let's go to the ratings phase.

You hated it. I just didn't like it. I didn't hate it. Yeah. I just felt like it was a lesser version of a movie that I'd just seen. I felt it was a greater version of a movie I just seen. So funny. I think it's just because I'm a sucker emcee and I will buy into the like brother sister love story. There's a lot of actors in that one that I really enjoyed. This one only has one actor that I really enjoyed. You like that Hunger Games Boy. Oh yeah yeah he was fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th I really enjoyed. You like that Hunger Games boy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he was fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, I love. Oh, uh, six. I think that's what you gave five nights at Freddy's as well. I liked this more. I liked this more. I liked how short it was. I... this more, I liked how short it was, I normally I'm very angry at teens who can't act, but it's been so long it felt a bit like coming home and the fact that they're doing it against Nicholas Cage whom I've come to realize that I

really will watch do anything. Yeah. Remember when he was a punchline and now everyone's just like, actually he's like a cold hero now everyone's just like, actually, he's like a cold hero. He's the best. Actually he's the best, yeah. Yeah, he really rehabilitated himself by doing nothing, by just sticking with the bit. It's the thing of keep telling dumb jokes, they will become funny again. You're so right about that. You have to commit to the bit and he is full-on committed to who he is. They've literally literally the thiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. thi's like, th. thi. thi's like, thi, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to, to, t. te. te. te. te. te. th. toda. the. the. the. the. the. the. th.. You have to commit to the bit, and he is full-on committed to who he is. They've literally made a movie about how weird he is that he stars it. I, what is that again? The Unbearable Weight of Talent or whatever. Okay. It's fantastic. It's really fun. I watch it. I thought he was fun in this. I like to watch Nicholas Cage wrap his torso and duct tape and...

In his face. And just not make any fucking sense. Drink soda. I think it's four-logo. Seven and a half. I really enjoyed it. Okay. Yeah. I think this movie has a much better chance of becoming a cult classic. Yes. Then this is a movie movie put on with your friends at a party.

Ha, fun, fun, fun times. Five nights at Freddy's, I know I said this several times in that episode because I must have, but the idea of these like goofy animatronics and then like children being murdered. I know, no, not the children. But like children being abducted and murdered is actually. really sad. So there was like it was a balance that just wasn't working for me whereas this is just full-on silly. And I like that a lot. And as a pretty

cool dude you know I love child murder. Oh my god. When I say who should we murder and you say the children I get upset, you don't get upset with me for getting upset you stay cool. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. Oh my god. I'm gonna need you to buckle in. This is going to be long. I know we're an hour and six minutes into this episode. This is from Molly Jane. Hi Molly Jane says, Hi all, love the show. Been listening to you since your crossover with GAM. Just join just join Patreon. Thank you so much. I'm listening to your latest episode on the main fiend, rabbit. And wanted to your latest episode on the main fiend, Rabbit.

And I wanted to just give you an FYI about skin graphs that's probably way more than you ever wanted to know. No, I want to know everything about it. Thank you. I'm a surgeon. Oh my god Molly, I hope this is your release. And do them pretty often for wounds, burns and skin cancer. Oh wow. There is actually a reason why we wouldn't tak. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to thi thi thi thi thi thi to just to just to just to just to just to just thy thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th th. th th. th th th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And do them pretty often for wounds, burns, and skin cancer. Oh wow. There is actually a reason why we wouldn't take thigh skin to graft on the face, the blush line. Tell me more. Skin above the blush line, pretty much collar bones up. Okay. Can blush and change color on its own. Skin below the blush line cannot. Oh. So if we grafted skin from the thigh on someone's face, that patch of skin wouldn't change color on its own. Skin below the blush line cannot. So if we grafted skin from the thigh on someone's face, that patch of skin wouldn't change color with the rest of the face

and would look really weird. Wow. We also wouldn't put a skin graft inside someone to grow, but there is a procedure that I think Kronenberg may have been basing this on where wounds on the hands and fingers can be grafted by lifting skin off the belly wall, but not actually fully removing it, the finger or hand is then sewn into the flap of lifted skin and left in place for about six weeks. Oh my God. And yes, the hand arm is completely useless during that time. Oh my god. The lifted skin flap grows on the hand and after six weeks we can finish cutting it off the

belly. Wow we fucking figured that out. I know. Wow. Lots of rehab later and the person hopefully finds up with a usable hands fingers in the end. Wow that's the end of that message. Hold on there's another quick one. Also from Molly. Okay. I have things I want to say to Molly. Oh, also, if you grafted skin from the upper thigh, it would grow pubs slash hair, and if stuck on the face, it would continue to grow pubs slash hair wherever you planted it. Follow up from Molly. Oh, shit.

I mean, maybe we could do pub transplants for guys who wouldn't grow facial hair. Hey, y'all looking to get on a basement level, like dirt floor seller level homespun healing business? Dr. Molly, copyright, copyright, you and us. Pube transplants. Molly, thank you for all of that extremely useful information. Thank you for doing surgery on people that Helps them. Thanks for being a person who actually helps someone in this fucking world

So beautiful and now dr. Beer good news medical questions will be directed to Dr. Molly. Dr. Beer will get science questions That's good. I'm happy. I love I love I love I love how we have cultivated this space for smart people to come and do weird dumb shit. Yeah, it's basically like smart chequy cheese. Please, Charles Entertainment? Why is it entertainment? Because he's so entertaining. Oh God. What do you want to be Esquivel? What's gonna be? Katie? What's, what do we do it next week? Next week is fu Christmas? Christmas? Christmas? Christmas? Yeah? Yeah, it is? It is, to. It, to? Yeah, to? Yeah, it, it, it, it, to? to? to, it, it, to, it is, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to be? Katie. Alan. What's what do we do it next week? Next week is fucking Christmas? Christmas? Yeah, it is. Were you doing the beginning of the Mariah Carey song? Sure. Okay, keep going. No. It's getting a copyright. Everyone's

sick of hearing it. Are they? I thought they loved it. No. It's that, oh, it's that back and forth between the people the people who hate it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the movie. Yeah. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the., that back and forth between the people who love it and the people who hate it. A bit of a, yeah, push me, pull you. What movie are we doing next week? We are doing our annual Christmas film, Violent Night. Violent Night. So come back and join us for that. It's going to be fun. More Christmas.

More Christmas. And one or one or the other. You can can you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th, thi, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi.. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, the other. You can join us on Patreon. You can vote for stuff on there. If you're in the top-tier. Patreon. If you're in the top-tier, and... If you're not in the top-tier, you get all those action movies. Yeah. Find us on social media, we're not really on there very much.

Send us an email. We'll try to get back to you to you to you to you to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the best. We're the best. Everyone's the best, except for that guy left us a shit ass review. He loved me a shit ass review. And I'm living for it. So come back and hear us lose our minds on Christmas. All right. And we love you all. I have to pee. I gotta go. Wrap it up. Just listen to another episode of Wear a Fambulance. Peek! Maybe Axon are dead pools, Savini's sightings at the pool. No way to wait, Finland's to fulfill reviews.

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