Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 458- Violent Night (2022)

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

Hi EMTs! The thing is, I am very drunk on my cousin Vicky's husband's fantastic eggnog so I can't really do a write-up, but Allen & I hope you have a wonderful holiday season with this year's Christmas episode, the 2022 film "Violent Night."  That being said, we know the holidays can be hard for folks, and we want you to know that you are not alone. You are NEVER alone. We are here for you, the EMTs are here for you at https://discord.com/invite/DutFjx3cBD, and if you need a friend, reach out at [e-mail]. If it's an emergency, please call the Suicide Prevention line by dialing 988. 

Hearing Burl Ives now makes me mad on your behalf. I just need you to know that. I don't look like Burl Ives. You don't look like Burl Ives. And no one should say you do. I was thinking about this the other day where, remember when I told you the story about walking down the street and the kids in the school bus yelled, Hey Santa, only on the nice list? Yeah.

I think he was fucking funny. That kid was fucking funny. There are a lot worse things kids can yell at you from school buses. Oh no, that was legit funny. Yeah, I've that that that that that was that that was that that that was that that that that was that that that that that was that that that that that was that that that that that that's that's that had them yelled at me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my first note is Burl Ives. P. Pssch. I love, let's call on an anti-Burlives campaign, just to prove you're so much better than him. I too love him as the narrator and a Rudolph Red Cross. No, fuck that movie. You know how I feel. They know how I feel and I can't go into it, but it's trash. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. I love. So we start off this movie. What movie are we doing by the way?

Violent Night. Violent Night. Merry Christmas also. Ho, ho, ho. What day is this coming out? Monday. December 25th. Going to be a big download day for us. Yo, you got to get away from that one uncle. Go listen where we're going to go listen. So okay so I have to tell you about a business idea, copyright, copyright, copyright, that my friend, my friend Christina is gonna start. We are going to rent Christina out for family events to talk to that one uncle that nobody else wants to talk to, that whoever that relative is, whether they're mean, whether they have bad political ideas, whether they just won't stop talking.

Sure. You put Christina in there, and she's just going to handle them for you all day long. How much would a person pay for that? If you get everyone in your family to chip in, they don't have to talk to that uncle? I'm really worried about her mental health though. She will be great. She'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll just, she'll th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. thea. to. to. to. thea. thea. thea. the. thi. thi. thi. th it. She'll just, water off a ducks back. It's gonna be, she's gonna make so much money. All right, I love this. So if you guys want to hire her for that, email us at Werell Fambulance at Gmail.

to thoom, you have to pay travel expenses though. Yeah. Anywhere in the world? they will pay for it. Oh yeah, okay. Love it. Enough money, we can get Christina to go anywhere, I think, yeah. She have a catchy name for it? I think she did, but I forget because I was drunk. We were just like work shopping it as we went. Sure, yeah, I get a little, a little work and drink every, you know, yeah. Speaking of drinking on the job, how does this movie open? Santa getting drunk in a bar bar to to to to to to to the bar the bar their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they they they they they they they they they'll, they they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll the job, how does this movie open? Santa getting drunk in a bar in Bristol, England?

Yes. You mean a pub? A pub? I'm sorry. A poop. A poop. A publican. And who is the Santa?

The Santa is the sheriff from Stranger Things. I only watch the first like two seasons of that. Sure. He's got this. So lovable. Yeah, this like amiable thing about him that you're just like, oh buddy, what are you doing? Yeah. He's like a real big dude. Yeah. But he seems like a teddy bear. And ladies love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. David. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the that. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this. th. this. this. this. this. this. this. th. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this. this. th. th. that. Yeah. Yeah. He's married to Lily Allen. Did you know that? Of Lily Allen theme? The singer? What? Singer songwriter?

Is that true? Yeah. Oh, they're super cute together. Oh, they're so cute. Look how happy they are. Oh, wow. Yeah, that one. No, he's probably real nice. Oh yeah, no doubt. She's probably still mad at her brother for smoking all that weed.

Yeah, and showing everyone as Weiner in Game of Thrones. Like all the time. Come on, Alfie. Put that thing away. Put the shit away. She's like, I can't even watch this show. I really did like that first Lily Island record a lot. Yeah. It was a good time. Yeah, good times. Great oldies. Look at them.

I'm sorry, I couldn't be happier for. Merry Christmas, you two, you two crazy kids. Great. He's cracking walnuts with his bare hands, which I like quite a bit. Which is like, how do we set up that. And he's sort of ranting about how children are trash, basically. They're too greedy. Crave, consume, as if that's like a new phenomenon. He's very disillusioned with the whole Christmas thing.

Yeah. Maybe it's my last year. Yeah. Oh, Santa. And he gets up and leaves that whole ass beer and that probably because it's warm. What what what what's w what's w what's w what's the w what's the the the they. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thiolen. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. and leaves that whole ass beer and I thought, probably because it's warm. What's wrong with you people? You don't like a cascale? I do not. I think beer should be cold and cheap and yellow.

I know you too. Yeah. But like the colder the better. I want the mountains to be so blue. Oh, so it just tasks like yellow water. A cold yellow water. Yeah. Where a hop was waved above an entire bat of beer. If I wanted to taste chlorophyll, I'd chew grass. I just want my beer to taste like someone accidentally poured a glass of grapefruit juice. Is that too much to ask?

He gets up and he goes up on the room. And the other Santa who's like a street walking Santa as you were. I don't think. I th. I th th think. I think. I think. I think you mean. I think you mean. I think you mean. I don't think you mean. I don't think you mean. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like the the the the thi. I don't the the the the the their. I their a their a their a their a their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I thol thol thololololole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tole. I tho. I th. on the room. And the other Santa who's like a street walking Santa as you were. I don't think you mean what you think you mean. Yeah, like I was, he's a ball Santa. Oh, okay. Like a street walk and chitin'a, like a Iggy pop. Right, that's exactly what everybody thought when you said that.

That's what they call those bell riggers, right? Streetwalk and Santa's. I just created a thing. Yeah. Sexy Santa's. It's like, I'm going to pay for your beers. You're going to have a good Christmas. Come on, buddy, get it together. Yeah. And I thought this was going to be from the setup, like that.

I think it's a Billy ain't never watched that movie. I saw it, I think on an airplane. Oh, weird. Yeah. Weird choice. Yeah. Maybe not. I definitely saw it. And I was definitely drinking. Yeah. And I remember just being like, what the fuck? Just because he's wearing the Santa costume doesn't. the fa. Just because he's wearing the Santa. Oh. He's a the bartender lady. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He. He's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. is Santa. And he flies away on his rave deer and the bartender lady that's like... I'm sorry, the landlord. The landlady. It's like, you're Santa Claus. Yeah. And then what happens? He pukes on her head. He pukes on her fucking head. Oh, cheer your food better, Santa. It was just so much rice. Yeah. What was he eating in that pub that was so rice heavy? Oh, curry, I guess? Probably. Oh yeah, yeah.

But after he pukes on her, I have the most old man note I've ever written. I can't wait. Well, here we are as a culture. All right NPR. Oh man I'm a fan of me. I'm a fan of you too. Thanks buddy. We cut to a family. There's clearly some family discord but they're spending the holiday together for the sweet baby angels sake. Yeah, not doing this for you. Yeah, for sweet baby angel. Trudy. Trudy is great. Trudy is great. Trudy and her mom pick up some nerd is the move that I have. I do not know what to make of his character. No. I also think the mom, it's kind of a terrible actor.

Okay. All right. I don't know if you were looking over your shoulder to mean that you're going to cut that, but no, she's pretty bad. I was looking over my shoulder to see if she was here. Okay, good, yeah. Tell you what, I don't miss working catering. When the sister is being so rude to the bartender being like smile, it's a holidays. I was like oh god Did you work catered? I did when I was a teenager? Wow. Yeah, I worked at the

graduation party of the daughter of the American Eagle corporate CEO or whatever? Yeah, it was terrible. It was terrible. Just terrible. I went home with like fistfuls of cash and a Cuban cigar, so I don't know. Oh wow. I was like, I was like 16. I was like, I was like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm th. I'm like, I'm like, I'm th. I'm like, I'm like, I'm th. I? Well, I do do that with smoking a pipe. You don't inhale that? What do you do with it? Just kind of roll it around. That's so strange. I feel like my body is designed to inhale. That's a long time smoker. I mean, you're gonna get some in, but it's more just about getting the flavor in your mouth.

I don't like that at all. Just suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a to suck on a cough drop. All right. Sorry smoke police. It's Christmas, you filthy animal. I'm the cool police. Smoking is cool. No, I'm not smoking anymore. I did like when Trudy said, Merry Christmas Daddy, you filthy animal. Yeah, that was pretty funny. And they immediately bring up home alone, which is going to be brought up over and over and over. Because this movie is the mash-up of like, your next, home alone, and, God, I don't know, something action-y. Uh, die hard. Die hard. Yeah, die hard. Yeah, absolutely.

The first thing that the sister Alva says to the wife is, you gained weight. I love the holidays. Do you watch the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho the the the thoomoomoomoom. th next next neuoom. neu ne. ne. ne. ne ne ne. ne ne ne nenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenex nenenenenex nex next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next next the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thea thea thea the the the the the says to the wife is you gained weight. I love the holidays. Do you watch the Righteous Chimstones? No. Edie Patterson is the actor playing Alva. She is the fucking greatest thing on God's greener. All of my notes are like, I want to watch everything this woman is in. She is so great. She absolutely steals every scene she's in in the Righteous

Chemstones, like going up against John Goodman. Okay. And she's just like, she's basically this character, she's just a shithead. Oh, I love that for her. But like, just on, like, if this is eight, she's at 17. Oh, that's getting so fun. Like on the righteous gemstones. Worth a watch. I love her. When she says, now kiss me in front of my son. I like spit taked. We also met Al the security guy as they were coming in, who was very nice and knew all their names and birthdates and stuff.

Sure. Social Security numbers, blood types. He was very sweet. Yeah. And we immediately see that there's something up with the caterers. Yeah, I thought they were just miserable to be there, because I felt that way. We meet Bertrude. When we learn, we are introduced to Ms. Bert, when we learn that his name is Bertrude.

I laughed really hard at that too. He's a child with sexual harassment accusations. But the grandmother has paid off the school and now the gym is named after them. Kiss me in front of my son. I love that they talk about how he's like a sex pest and that immediately are oddly sex in front of him. It's very funny.

Who is Grandma? Beverly D. Angelo. Star of one of the greatest Christmas films ever made. Yeah. Yeah. And she's kind of the Barbara Crampton character from your next to this. She sure is. Yeah. makes me watch Home Alone like three times every year. Maybe I should force them to watch a violent night every year. You guys get a pick I get a fucking pick too.

I don't think Lucy's ready for this movie. No. Soon. Soon. Beverly DeAngelo Gertrude is a potty-mouthed business lady. Potty-mouty-mouthed patriarch.arch. A mottie mouth matriarch saying shit like cock sucker and ram it up your fucking box. Box is funny. When she learns that Gertrude the granddaughter is now called Trudy. Oh, Trudy, makes her sound like a whore. Right in front of her. Right in front of her. I also really liked this scene with, what, what is the actor the actor the actor the actor the actor the actor the actor the actor the the the the the the the th?, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, makes her sound like a whore. Right in front of her! Right in front of her!

I also really liked this scene with, what is the actor's name who plays Alva? That is Edie Patterson. E. E.Patterson, where they were like, sort of kissing up to Gertrude. And she's like, you named your daughter, and Linda, the wife says, you named your son Bertrude, and she says, sorry, Linda, we can't all be lucky enough to have daughters.

Doesn't the kid say, mom, I'm right here. Mom, I can hear you. This movie is way funnier than I thought it was gonna be. This movie is way funnier than I thought it was gonna be. Yeah. Yeah. . Yeah. like you went in with very low expectations under the scroll. I thought it was just going to be violent for the sake of violent and that's it. Yeah. Yeah.

We see Santa in other houses doing his job poorly, just kind of being an ass. He's just disgruntled you. Yeah. Yeah. And the score is very home alone at this point. A hundred percent. We also see him pissing off the sleigh, which I thought was very funny. Very funny. Then we see a confrontation where dad, what's dad's name? I'm going to call him dad, it doesn't matter. Yeah, I don't know. He is only dad of my note. Trudy's dad didn't take her to the sissy Santa the day before when he was supposed to have. And so you didn't get to tell Santa what she wanted. So he goes into the basement and finds like a walkie-talkie, gives a tour and tells her she can talk to Santa with it. It's very, very cute and my kid like loves to watch Santa

on the Norad tracker and just like, fuck I'm such a piece of shit. Grinch! Their children their children love the magic and I'm just like pissing all over it. I did like how I didn't expect this movie to be as sweet as it is. Right? Like with Trudy and dad and mom and then later with Santa and Trudy. Yeah. Trudy is doing a lot of the heavy lifting through this. Yeah I think David Harbor is too. Yeah for sure. Yeah. Yeah. he like makes you fall in to the tu tho the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. I. the. the. I. I. the. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the heavy lifting through this. Yeah. I think David Harbor is too. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. He like makes you fall in love with him. Yeah.

It's a dad bod. We know you have a thing for a dad bod, Craig two Nelson, watch out. Lillie Allen blows me away. Good on you, Lily Allen. We can be happy for both of them. Then we see this like German or Swedish or some there, some there, action guy, delivering a line about not celebrating his favorite holiday, boxing day, and then punching the guard. And I just, like, was so excited.

I laughed so hard at this. And then who shows up? Johnny Legs. Johnny legs comes in. Johnny legs. John, leg was up. But not before Beverly DeAngelo says to the child's mother, when he was small, I begged you to beat him.

Which also, that got me. So Johnny Legs is the bad guy. Yes. I love him. He kills Al, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, th. th, th, who, thi, thi, th. th, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thee. the the thi. thi. the the thi. the thi. the thi. thi. thes is the bad guy. Yes. I love him. He kills Al, who earlier we had fallen in love with. So briefly, so lovingly. Yes. Everyone on this operation has Christmas code names.

They do. You like that? That Johnny Legs code name is Scrooge. And then there's candy cane and crampus. Sugar plums. Yeah, and then there's candy cane and crampus sugar plum Frosty did you like that? I loved it. I lost it. It's cute. I loved it Also, I think having that one guy being of indeterminate northern European heritage was very tie-hard. Yeah, yeah, they call him Bjorn Yeah, but he'd sound yeah, it's like, what do you mean? Anyway, there sure are a lot of guards and household staff in this house. There are, there are.

So the guards are immediately running mom into the panic room. Right, there isn't room for all of them. Well, take me then. And we haven't talked about Alva's boyfriend, who is an actor, who is apparently based on Marky Mark, which I like accidentally saw in the IMDB trivia, because I was watching it on my laptop and when you pause it'll like bring up trivia. And I was like, oh my god, watching the rest of this movie with knowing that he's meant to be Marky Marking Mark iskey Mark is really fucking funny. That's so fucking funny.

Yeah. When he does a barrel roll and says barrel roll. Imagine Marky Marking doing that. Oh, and Santa, is he in the house at this point? He is. He's just been drinking. And eating cookies, which they're homemade, which touches him. Yes, they're not. Because we've seen all the other houses have just had like packs of nilawafers waiting for him. And I was like, don't sleep on a nilla wafer. That's a good cookie. I make a hell of a rum ball out of nila wafers. Oh. Yeah, you roll them in a mixture of cocoa powder and powdered sugar, and then you eat enough to get drunk when you're seven at Christmas.

Oh man, I remember eating rum balls as a kid and then being like, why do I feel weird? Why did you let me eat these, mom? Why is my face so hot? Why do I smell like grandma? Happy holidays. It was definitely around Christmas too. Oh yeah, that's what you get rummballs or a Christmas tradition I would assume. So Santa falls asleep and then wakes up to the violence in the house.

Right. He tries to magic himself out by like putting his finger alongside his nose and going up the chimney. But for some reason it doesn't work? Yeah, he's lost the house. Right. He tries to magic himself out by like putting his finger alongside his nose and going up the chimney but for some reason it doesn't work. Yeah he's lost the Christmas spirit. I guess so. Which is the only thing I could figure is why his, because he gets it back later. Yeah he does. He hides behind a Christmas tree but the way the scene is shot is that you think he turned himself into a mini Santa statue and I was like, wow, he's got good magic. And then he gets into a fight with a henchman. And then you have to think he's immortal, right? Yeah. Yeah. So like, he'll be all right. But he's also getting bloody a shit fighting this dude. He's getting tore up. Yeah. The guy fires his automatic weapon into the ceiling, which causes the reindeer to take off.

Yeah. Because they are just skittish monsters, like horses with antlers. Which made me realize maybe they're the real menace. Oh. Between them and ostriches last week, I feel like I'm really getting a lot of new things to be afraid of. We have a family of deer that sleeps in the backyard all the time. I'm not afraid of deer. Rain deer are different. They're the same thing. No, they're fucking not.

Rain deer are way bigger. And that's as far as I've gotten. Ha ha ha ha! So the rain deer take off. I'm not afraid of deer. Fuck a deer! No, hug a deer? Fucke deer up. No, I'll hug a deer.

I like them. Yeah. Beautiful creatures. Uh, whenever they're in the backyard, I'd pull up in my car and say, what's up, what's up, the tear? Do you name them? to name them. Oh, okay. eat them. I wouldn't eat them. I'd eat them. The city deer? It tastes like the city. Yeah, like why you can't eat those turkeys from Frank Curdo Park, because all they eat is trash

and it's just like eating trash. Every time I see people fishing in the pond near my house, I'm like, don't do that. People do a lot of fishing up there. I assume they're throwing them back. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're throwing back throwing back they're throwing back. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing throwing to. I. I to. I toe. I toe. I toe. I throwing throwing throwing th I think they're throwing them back. Adorkable. Yeah. No, they're gutting them there themselves. Everybody gets a flag knife. Eating them raw and then growing a third eye. Hmm. Hmm.

So we learn why this is happening. Wait. I just wanted to say this fight scene between Santa and the first of the henchman is frosty. Frosty. It's really fun. Yeah. It's really, really fun. David Harbor is very good at fight scenes. Yeah, he really is. For a big guy, you can move.

He can move. And he throws Frosty out the window who lands on like an icicle Christmas thing outside. Yes. And then he like finds the icicle impaled body, which is a nice bit of horror amid this like action and comedy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Santa like leaves the house on foot. He's out of here.

But yes, we learn why this is happening. And this is where John Leguezamo sings Violent Night, Gory Night, and I thought, wow, this is the only acceptable time to use the title in the movie other than I know who killed me. John like was almost singing Violent Night. I know who killed me. I know who killed me. Oh! You're the gardener. Oh, with Either nipple or belly button, one of the two. I think it was nip, I think you're right.

Yeah. Ah. Okay, so why is this happening? Because John Legosambo knows that they have $300 million in the vault that they stole from the government because they were supposed to, like, launder it basically to like armies around the world or something. In the Middle East, yeah. And then the war broke out and I thought in 2003 or now? What is it? What war? Yes. Yes and. Yeah. So that's why

they're breaking in to steal the bonds out of the safe. Right. An extremely di hard premise. So Trudy's got a little walkie-talkie-talkie and the the and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and th, and they, and th, and they, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, and their, their, their, their, the war, the war, the war, the war, the war, the war, and the war, and the war, and the war, and the war, and their their their their, and their, and their their their their their their their their their th, and th, and th, and th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And their th. And their their thi thi thi their tho their tho their tho tho their war, and their war, and their their their their their of the safe. Right. An extremely die-hard premise. So Trudy's got a little walkie-talkie and she's talking into it and I thought my God they're gonna shoot this child through the head with that walkie-talkie. Luckily Santa has grabbed one of these walkie-talkies. Yeah. And he's talking to Trudy. Right. And he can't walk away from her. No. It's got to save her. He gets into another fight where he fills a sock full of billiard balls. Holy shit, that would hurt so fucking bad. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it makes my skin crawl. Yeah. It's so like a thing that you see in like a 50s movie where they just cut to black and you're like, oh my god, someone died. Someone died? They thought they could handle it, they could not handle it.

But it's just such a fun fight scene. And then it's also like, sort of cut with this Santa magic where he like holds up his bag and the guy goes to like punch him and his hand just goes into the bag. the tha he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he tho the is comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes comes out he's he he he he he he he he he he is is hea he is hea he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he. he. he is he is he. He is he. He is he. He is he. He th. He th. He th. He th is th is th. He th is th is th is th. He's the. He's the. He's the is just the is just the is just the is just the is just the is just the is just the is just the is just the is just the. He's the is just the. He's the.. I don't know. It's like a bag of holding. So fun. Yeah. And how does this guy die? Do you remember? This guy dies by getting a Christmas tree topper star in his eye that Santa then plugs in and electrocutes him, causing his head to catch on fire. And Fuego. Yeah. Yeah. And Santa's like, oh. He just kind of sits down and looks at it for a while, even though the body is beginning to give off quite a bit of smoke. He loves the violence. Yeah.

And we learn why later. Yeah, but there's like that that see later on the movie where he's like, no, I got to watch. Yes, yeah. I like that. The grenade, yeah. So yeah, Trudy gets him on the horn. Yeah. And he pulls out his nice list, which is this like magically electronic thing that shows all the nice things. She does like invited weird kid to party. Kind to everyone. Yeah, little Trudy. She said, I've been really nice this. Yeah. And they have a conversation about what's happening. And somehow the crampus doesn't hear this in the room.

They have this conversation about like ram it up his ass or ram it up his butthole. Can I say anus? But hole is borderline. I mean, anus is the technical. I mean, that was very cute and sweet and funny. And I was like, fuck, this movie's gonna make me feel something by the end of it, isn't it? It really really really it really. It really really. It really, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It really. It really. It really. It really. It really. It really. It really. It really. I the th the th th the th the th the th an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. Ita. It's. It's. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. It's. I. I'm. I'm. It's, th.'s going to make me feel something by the end of it, isn't it? It really is. So Santa finds Al dead. Did he not have a cell phone there in his pocket? I feel like Al would have had a cell phone there in his pocket. I don't think Santa would have known mean, do kids like cell phones? No. You never see no kid with a cell phone? No.

Also, the bartender, bad guy is a strong Brigitte Nielsen. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. She's great. Candy cane. I believe that's candy cane. Yeah, Kira. Made her brother eat worms. I'm sorry. I just, I don't know if you can tell, I loved this movie. I love this, it was a good week for you for movies.

It really was. That's awesome. And I hate loving a Christmas movie. Oh, maybe they just need to be ultra-violent for you to enjoy them. I mean, really, the only one I've ever really loved is Black Christmas, and that's just like coincidentally Christmas. Sure. You know, it's not Christmas. There's no Christmas spirit in it really. What about Diehard? What about Die Hard? Um, I liked it?

Yeah, but it's not a horror, a Christmas horror movie, one of our, you know. What about, you liked Crampest? You thought Crampus was all right, if I remember. I remember. We did that have Adam Scott, that have Adam, that have Adam, that have Adam, that have, that have, that have, that have, that have, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, what, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. What, th. th. What, th. What, th. th. What, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, that tha, the podcast Tony Gillette. We saw that in the theater together, didn't we? And then we went and recorded it? I feel like it was just all right. I also think we went to Peter Pit, God rested soul. Oh, Peter Pit is no longer with us.

No, Peter Pit's gone. It's a nice place to eat a big fucking sandwich. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Again at the eye notes. No, who can. Oh, a moment of memoriam for Peter Pit. All we go to the end of the road. And I was watching. There was a, oh there was a Chili's commercial. What? And they're doing the baby-backed ribs song and I was like, that's boys to men singing the baby-backed rib song?

And I was like, Missy, do you know who this is? She's like, no? It's boys that men! I saw boys to men. I saw boys tha th. And several summers ago, they were incredible. Just as a three piece, because the base left. Yeah. Yeah. They're incredible. Wow.

They're great. Yeah. Just a little new jack swing. Yeah. So anyway, they're they're trying to get information out of the family about where the money is or how to get into the vault or and or something. Yeah, they're going to put their in in in in in in in in in in in into into into into into into into into into into into their their their their their their cracker to abuse the family. Yeah, they're going to put the dad's balls in there. First they do a finger and then like, wait a second, they're called nutcrackers.

I gotta tell you, I hate a nutcracker with a face on it. I think they're very disconcerting. What are the kind of nut crackers are there? squeazy toy. You know. This is for cowards. You got to get those with face on it. I'm afraid of them. Just put your nuts in its mouth. I just crack it with a nutcracker. Or just do what I do and don't eat nuts. Oh, I'm just going to start breaking walnuts with my bare hands like David Harbor. I break it with my thighs. Yeah, just the back of my knee. Yeah. Just the back of my knee. Yeah. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. Just th. Just th. I th. Just th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I toys. I toys. toys. toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy toy to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. th Kane refuses to touch his balls. Not touching his junk. Yeah, and Crambus offers to do it. I'll do it. And John Legazama says that's what I love about sociopaths, always up for trying new things.

Johnny Legs is really fun. He's so fun in everything but in this particularly. I feel like for me anyway he's having a real renaissance these days. Yes, I think this this this this this this th. Like this guy like like like like this guy this guy this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like this guy is like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ty. ty. thi. ty. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. a real Renaissance these days. Yes, I think he's having a Nick Cage thing where people are like, this guy's bad, oh my god this guy's great. So they don't end up getting his nuts in the cracker. No, but he does yell at his daughter, damn it Trudy, Santa isn't real. And even the sociopath Grampus flinches when he says that. Oh. It's so good. Yeah. Yeah. So good.

I loved it. Yeah. Cattoo Santa covered in like tribal tattoos? Viking tattoos. Yeah. He was covered in runic tattoos. And I was like, oh, Santa white supremac. Well, I didn't know that they were runic tattoos and I just wondered if the elves had done them for him and then are the elves heavily tattoo because otherwise you wouldn't trust

them? Cussars, 2023. Yeah. Yeah, he has woken up on the floor. And we see he's having a dream of like a violent scene of hand-to-hand battle. Yeah, and he's wearing like a Viking helmet, and he has long hair, and he's covered in gore. Yeah.

And he wakes up and starts stitching his own shit together, which I think you'd have magic for that. Was that a little nod to a roadhouse? I hope so. There are a lot of homages in this. A lot of nodding. Yeah. Um, so Santa starts remembering Trudy's letters? Yeah. And like, that's really sweet. I like the idea that Santa would remember everybody's letters. Yeah. And he starts talking about how he's in year 1100 with Mrs. Claus. Because the only thing Trudy wants is for her parents to get back together, even though I think it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I thi. I thi. I thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th.. Because the only thing Trudy wants is for her parents to get back together, even though I think it's an absolutely terrible idea for them to be together. They're not good for each other.

But he, Santa tells her that I still bring presents to kids that really need me, who really believe. And I thought, don's the Santa magic. I don't want anyone giving my child a present that I don't know about. I do know what you mean? You know what a man climbing in your house a night to give your... My sweet baby angel? I'm a secret gift?

So Krapus gets the idea that he wants the family to exchange gifts because he think it'll be funny. Right, so we get Markey Mark. Oh my god. I'm doing a pitch for his movie. I brought you the gift of possibility. He pulls out this pitch deck of him, his next action movie, I guess. Yeah, it's like called an MIA something. Oh my God. Oh my God, it's ridiculous. It's very funny.

And then we did see Trudy's dad bring in a gift earlier and put under the tree and he's like, oh, I left the gift in the car and that Bertrude is like, no, no, no, dude, got it. Got it. dude right here got it got you bro gotcha and so she oh Beverly DeAngelo opens it it's a bottle of her favorite whiskey and a note and he's like don't read the note don't read the note she reads the note not allowed no and then folds it up and puts it in her jacket pocket her inside jacket pocket the secret one he broke up broke up with mom yeah yeah understandably she's a real piece of shit. Yeah.

Yep, yep, yep, yep. Uh, so she tells them that there is a kill team coming to take out the bad guys. Right. And he's like, John, Johnny Legs is like, yeah, I've prepped for this for three months. I know who's coming. Like I understand what's happening right now. He does seem to know everything about them. Yeah. Yeah. Cut back to David Harbour describing himself as Nicamund the Red, who appears to just be like a barbarian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little berser. And he's got a skull crusher. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And Trudy-T-hmm. Tr Judy. Tr Judy. And Trud-hmm. And Trud-hmm. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to th. thii says he's thi says he's thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. th. the. thhmm. Mm-hmm. And Trudy says to him, you're good and kind and you're more than just the presence

you bring. And I was like, I hope the barbarian adopts this baby. Get her into a loving home. Like, it's fucked up to bring your kid into this environment, this environment of like, just greed and disdain and anger and like backstabbing like just just stay home. When your whole reason for doing it is just to spoiler alert for later, rob them. Yeah. You could do that on your own time dog. Yeah, you didn't bring your kid into this.

I do like when the bad guys are going to find Santa Claus and Johnny Legs puts a fire extinguisher in front of the door and then shoots it to it blows the door off its hinges? Yes, today I learned that you can make a bomb by shooting a fire extinguisher. Sure, they're under a lot of pressure. I guess so, yeah. Just like the rest of us in this Christmas season, am I right? Right. Wow, that's a real allegory. We meet the kill team. Yeah. And the guy says I want to do this the same way I like to have sex, hard and fast with minimal

cleanup. Ew. I mean, it's solid. It's not pleasant. No, no, I don't think he's looking for any real gratification. No, hard and fast and minimal cleanup. I mean, who amongst us, whom amongst us doesn't want minimal cleanup? Very fair.

Babonatali. That's all. So they beat up Santa and burn his bag. He's so upset. He's so upset. It's full of children's dreams. It's so funny. Yeah. And Scrooge tells him that, which is John like Wazamo's character, tells him that Christmas ruined his life and then gives him this real long story about how Christmas ruined his life.

Yes, the Johnny Leg was on a Zamo origin story. Yeah. And while he's telling the story, it starts snowing in the house. Because Trudy is the smartest nine-year-old who ever was. And this is where Santa reveals that he knows all of their real names and the fucked up shit that they've done. Yeah. Yeah. And I think he checks his list and they're all on the naughty list. Yeah. throughout the movie. So they've got sleigh bells approaching. Yeah.

Who is it? It's the kill team. It's the kill team. They're on snow jet skis, which I could not fucking remember the right name for for my snow. That's it. Throughout my notes, I just kept being like, snow jet ski.

Beautiful maniac. Sometimes, you know what word is just gone for you sometimes? I don't know how it could have been mobile. That's real simple for a vehicle. I mean, it's the reason I do crossword puzzles. Yeah. Because, yeah, I'll lose a lot of them and just be like, you know, a bunch of words bound together.

I don't know, uh, we're bound. Look. Snow Jetsky. Snow Jetsky? Yeah. Uh, somebody gets called John Claude Van Dipshit, which I really appreciate it. That's the, uh, that's the Markey Mark character. Okay. He, he runs out to greet the kill team, does a barrel roll and says, barrel. And he's like, oh the bad guys are in

there and the head of the kill team says they better be we're on a tight schedule and kills him, shoots him. I didn't see that coming. Yeah Morgan I believe his name was. Yeah Morgan, Morgan Star I think. And I don't know if this was in the movie or just me getting wrapped up in it, but I have a note, they're all naughty. Just so many bad guys though, it seems impractical. Like how many people to coordinate and then to like pay off and to keep a secret? That's a lot. For sure.

Yeah. I think, feel like this is partially the, uh, no, I guess Die Hard had a to'er, a to, a to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th of bad guys. I was gonna say it's the comic bookification of everything where you've just got a thousand henchmen. Yeah. But like, Ty Hart had a bunch of bad guys doing stuff. I guess a lot of these action movies have a lot of bad guys. They're syndicate. I shouldn't judge. Because you need a bunch of bullet. Yeah.

You need to be able to get blown to get people people to get b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b. who is the computer expert. Yeah, I'm again like Ty Hart. Opens the the vault. Yeah. And there's a bunch of trunks in it. That are empty. That are empty. Johnny Legs is not happy about this. He's not happy. Yeah. And Santa has found a sledgehammer and he's so psyched.

Yeah. And I just haven't known that, Santa murders a bunch of dudes. Yeah, it's very brutal. Very brutal. He's told Trudy about skull crusher, which was his trusty hammer. Yeah. And he uses the sledgehammer as such.

When he puts the rope around two duds, two dudes. Two dudes. And then throws the rope into the rope into the rope into the rope into the rope into the rope into the rope into the rope into to the rope into to the rope into the rope into the rope into to the rope into the rope into the rope into the rope And then throws the rope into a turned on woodchipper. Yeah. I was like, ooh, I ain't never seen that before. No, I like that's pretty dope. A lot. The action and the brutality.

So good. A lot of gore. And then he ends up outside. That's when he finds the hammer and thap shipper. And then he's outside and a guy pulls a grenade on him. Wait, before that he stabs someone with a sharpened candy cane, which is just a dream come true. He's been sucking on to make sharp. How many times have you sucked a candy cane into a very sharp point and then thoubts. What I was like, please give me my thielaplaplaplaplaplaplaplaplaplaplaplip thuuuuuuu thu thu thu thu s f f f fa thu sc- I thu sable thu sable thu sable thu sable thu sable thu thu thu thu thi thu. I thoom-s, I th. I th. I th. I that I that I that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I th. I th. I can th. I can't th. I can't that-s that-s that-s. that-s. that-s. thou-s. thou-s. thau-s. thou-s. thau-s. thau-s. thau-s. tha. that tha. that we see the sharpened candy cane in a reflection in a man's eye.

And I was like, please give him my faulty moment of putting this man's eye, but instead he stabs him in the neck. Yeah, I liked it. Because not everyone is a sick fuck who wants to see eye trauma in their film. Give it to me. So yes, now he's walking away and he goes, I gotta watch. Turns around, blows up. Okay so in the house John Legoazzamo has confronted everyone in the living room about where the money is. And he's like, I'm gonna randomly shoot

someone, and the kid's like, wait, what if you randomly shoot the one person who knows where it is? Dude, if you're doing an action and Bertrude is the one who knows the most rational thing why you shouldn't do that action? You're done fucked up. So finally, they have, they found Trudy, they're gonna hurt Trudy. And finally, her dad admits that he had stolen the money. Yes. And he was like, I was going to take my wife and daughter away from you forever. And his wife is like, you thought that by getting away from your family, I meant stealing $300 million from them?

And he's like, oh, when you say it? And I thought, fuck this guy. I don't want them to get back together. I want Linda to go, take Trudy, marry someone else and have a lovely life. Santa Claus, maybe? But he's so happy with Mrs. Claus, it just takes work. When she sends him the little skull crusher in the end, I got, I liked it. A little, a little misty. Yeah. And while this is happening, Trudy tel Santa that she's making booby traps. Yes. She's gonna go, but she goes, they've got to be secret. Like I can't tell you what they are, because he's like, yeah, no, they've got to be good. Yeah. She does all the home alone tricks. Yeah.

Which they're like, oh, fucking home. really hurt bowling balls and landing on a nail strip and getting hit in the face and... When that guy slips on the ladder and puts a nail through his chin like hot fuzz style. Oh my god. So gross. I just thought about Lil Trudy hammering that nail in and then cutting the rung above it and be like he's gonna take it right in the chin. She's crazy. I love that there's like... I love that there's like, like, uh, uh, Kady Kated is just getting the shit kicked out of her by these bowling balls. Yeah. And then the guys... She's hitting the koochie.

You could just get it right in the koochee and it's very funny. I feel like there's not enough kooch kshot. No, we take enough pain. Listen, let's not get political. I meant like periods, but okay. Periods, childbirth, you know. The diminishment of all of your rights. The existential crisis in which we now find ourselves that everything who the women who came before has worked for is slowly being ripped away from us.

No, it's great. I can't wait to no longer be allowed to own a business. Happy holidays. Hey, man, we're gonna get through it. Joe Biden's gonna pull us out. Shit. So the guy is standing at the bottom of the, Bjorn is standing at the bottom of the steps, and he's found a nail in his butt that he pulls out and is stupidly looking at it, holding

it up between his eyes. Yes. And a bowling ball comes down and pounce it into his forehead. The bowling ball hits the nail, the nail head goes into the nail board that was on the floor behind him. Fuck and Trudy, you're crazy. Trudy has put like an extreme adhesive on the floor and candy cane shoes get stuck in it and she falls backwards into an extremely painful position where her heads touching the ground but that nothing else of her upper body is touching the ground, her knees are just bent backwards. And then she pulls her scalp off and th and th and th and th and th and the th and th th and the th th th the th th the th th th th their th out out out out out out out out out tho their thus thus thoooooooooooooooooooo thu their thu-up thu-up th. th. the th. the the the the the the is the is the is the is the is the is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is the is the is their the is the is the is the is the is the the the toe toe toe toe toe toee toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the her knees are just bent backwards. And then she pulls her scalp off in the adhesive. She pulls her scalp off and then stands up somehow? Wild. Wild and then Santa hammers her in the chest. First she steps on

the ornaments on the floor which is also very home alone and I just liked it. But yes, then she gets sledgehammered. He makes Trudy turn around and close her eyes and sing jingle bells. And then he stands over her with the hammer and yells, Noddy! Silent I tadly, right? Yeah, exactly. The worst episode we ever did. According to me.

According to you. And I believe you, because I'll never listen to it. Ah. Notty. I believe you, because I'll never listen to it. Noddy. Daughter. Wasn't he like a Ken doll? Exactly. Like a He-Man doll.

He was very buff. So weird. Um. So cut to, they find the cash buried out in the nativity scene. Yeah, he's taking John, um, the Trudy's dad is taking Johnny Legs out there while Crampus stays inside with them, the women and the child. Right. And they're fighting about who to murder first? Yeah, so he gives them the money and John Leg was on Mo says like, okay, murder the hostages into the, um, walkie-talkie.

And Krampis is all down for it. Yeah. But they start fighting with each other. And then? Alva calls Linda a gold digger. And Linda says, I have a whole ass career. And one of them, I don't know if it's Alva or Bertrude says, oh, she's an engineer.

Which I really, really liked. And then they attack him with the fireplace implements and beat the shit out of him. the shit out of him. And then Alvo stabs him in the throat with the poker. She says that was for Morgan. He may have been stupid, but he was very, very hot. I love her. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, gunfight snowball, snow jet ski thing.

Snowskie. Oh, God, what's it like to be so stupid? I wouldn't know. No. I'm very... You wouldn't know because you're much smarter than me. Pretty cool. Seems pretty cool. Pretty cool. So Trudy's parents are kissing in the major display and the nativity. Right. And this pisses me off. Yeah. Don't go back to him. He was still going to be obsessed with the money. It was always going to be about it. No, he's not. No, he is. No, he's not. Okay. Because... He hits someone with a baby Jesus? He hit someone with the baby Jesus. Uh, there's this whole like thing where Johnny Legs and another guy take grandma. They're making a run for it. Yeah.

And then Santa steals a snow jet ski from one of the guys. In like a very great action sequence. Yeah, he's on a sled at first. He's very excited to be on a sled. Yes, he sleds down and like takes out the guy who's riding the snow jet ski with the sled and lands on it and just starts driving it. And then Johnny Legs set up to flip the snow jet ski into this like defunct cabin. Extra house. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're, they're fighting and Johnny Leg sees that Santa's list is real. Yes, he finds himself on the naughty list.

It's like, made your mother cry. And he's like, you're real. You're him. When I kill you, this whole god damn holiday finally ends. Whatever it takes, Christmas dies tonight. To which I thought like, I hate to side with the villain. But you know, he's got a point. Was Christmas dies a night a nod to Halloween with evil dies tonight?

What year is this? Now? Now? This is new? No, it's like 2021. Oh, maybe. Maybe. 2022. Okay, yeah, maybe. Yeah. Why would you reference that piece of shit? So they're, yeah, they're fighting out on the ice. Johnny Legs has yack tracks, though, and Santa doesn't. Yeah. Like, where the fuck did he get yack tracks? I don't know. Okay. God, I haven't thought about yac tracks in a really long time. Yeah. He tries to crucify Santa. Yeah. He thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. Yeah. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I time. He tries to crucify Santa, who then rips his hand out. And what does he

do? He does his nose thing and pulls Johnny Legs up through the chimney, which basically mists half his body. And then his body parts rain down on Santa Claus. Turns him into meat. It's so funny. And then he gets shot. Yeah. And then Beverly shoots the army guy. And then, the thranny the thi thr- And th. And th. And thin thin the the the thi the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the their their thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. And theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. tou. te. theee. theeeeee. theeee. thee. And the. And the. the down on Santa Claus. Turns him into meat. It's so funny. And then he gets shot. Yeah. And then Beverly shoots the army guy. Yeah. And then Santa's dying because no one believes in him anymore.

He says I haven't felt cold in years. Santa. To which I wrote, oh, don't you try to make me feel something. Which means you're feeling something. I'm feeling something. Fucking dad is burning the money. I guess this is his arc. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't care about the money. He's trying to keep Santa warm. Alva cares about the money. She's like he's like basically dead. But I also like that mom is like, he's like, he can't give up on Santa lady. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. that. that. that. that's like, that. that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the to th. th. that's like, that's that's like, that's that's that's that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, thi gone. Just stop. It's over. I was like, oh, you can't give up on Santa lady. Come on. I wrote here, oh, fuck off with whatever's happening to my eyes right now. Did not expect this one to pull liquid out of my head. No. No, but it did. They revive Santa by all admitting that they still believe in him. And it's not that. It's just Trudy's pain that gets me. Oh, I know. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. they're thi. they're they're they're they're they're theythat they still believe in him. And it's not that, it's just Trudy's pain that gets me.

She just, oh I know, I know. But yes, they all still believe in him. Yeah. I wrote good work, Bertrude. Yeah, Bertrude's right on board with it. Bertrude is actually not as bad as you I mean. So we see that the reindeer are now back for Santa Claus. Mrs. Claus sent them back with a new bag. Yeah. And he says I just can't stay mad at you guys. And a skull crusher that

she's written a note on and says thought you might need this. That like also broke my fucking heart. I don't know what's wrong. He says I still matter. And I was like, ha ha ha! And then I have my last note of this movie. It's sweeter than it has any right to be. Truly. My last note says, I wish that the night before Christmas actually ended with, come on, you beautiful bastards. Dude. Katie. What the fuck did I just like a Christmas movie? Yeah. Did I just like a Christmas movie? Did I just love a Christmas movie? I don't know.

We are gonna have to go for the ratings phase for you to tell me that ratings phase. I loved it. It's a nine for me. I loved it. I think it's over long. That's the reason it's not a te. And there's no reason for this movie to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be the to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the's the problem that I usually have with anything that has a fight scene. They go on too long. We could tighten out these fight scenes a little bit. I like to watch fight scenes. Sure. I think they should tighten up the talking in between the fight scenes. Less fighting. I mean, less talking. We're fighting. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Basically I just want to watch blood sport over and over and over. I, God Tim, the movie's so good.

I just re-watched it within like the last couple of weeks. We watched, um, we watched Bloodsport and Street Fighter back to back. No, wow. Shot, John Claude Van Weekend. We kind of go deeper into his oov and get some more of his movies. I feel like we've put them up for votes on the Patreon and they're all like, yeah, I want you to do this thing that Katie's gonna hate. I don't know why I'm doing their voices like that. They're nice.

Well, we've set a precedent. Yeah. I'm gonna give this movie a shocking eight for me. Shocked. I did not expect to like this watching the movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's like everything I thought it was going to be, it actually was the opposite. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It was really tender. Gored. It's called Violent Night. Why is it tender? Why is it tender? Because he's so sweet. Oh, you just love him. Did you like Christmas Evil? Christmas Evil, which one was that? That was the one where the guy loves Santa Claus and at the end his van flies off a bridge

and either flies away or doesn't. Hmm. What? I don't remember that at all. It's done by the same guy who did a Christmas story. Um, the same director. Oh, okay. Okay. I did like rare exports. Sure.

That's a fucked up movie. Yeah, it's a fun movie. Fun fu fucked up romp. Not a romp at all. You're so into romps. This is a romp. This is a romp. But it's too long to be a romp.

It's a romp. Can I go? What are those things called that you drive around on the snow in? They have like treads on the back and skis on the front? Snowmobiles. Snowmobile, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to quiz you on that pretty regularly, give that word in your vocab. I, now that you've said it, I hear it. Wait, did you not remember until I said snowmobile? Well I couldn't remember while I was watching the movie and then as soon as I turned off the movie the entire conversation with myself

was gone and then I looked at my notes and I was like oh fuck what is a snow jet ski? Katie. I hate myself what? I love you to. Can I read you a review? Or yes a review that we got? Is it a good one? I don't even I don't think I even like horror movies? Five? I? I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie the the movie the movie the movie the the movie the movie the movie? I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the entire the the the entire the entire the the entire the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I tea. I to. I tea. tea. I te. I the the the the the. Um is it a good one? I don't even I don't think I even like horror movies. Five stars. Okay. I listen to this every week. Do I like horror movies? I don't think so. Not anymore. What are you doing? But I grew up on them and hearing these two giggle and trash talk or love on a variety of things entertains me really good. Oh. Like that scene in Lost Boys where. H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th like I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi thi. I thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thash talk or love on a variety of things entertains me real good. Oh, like that scene in Lost Boys where Hame finds a TV guide and asks

where the TV is and Grandpa says, don't need a TV guide, I don't mean no horror movies if I got some werewolf ambulance. Okay, who is, who left this review? That would be chicken butt 9989. What's up chicken butt? And first of all, what's up chicken butt? Second of all, that line from the lost boys used to make my nanna laugh so hard. It was like her favorite line in a movie ever. And I'm so happy you just put it in that review. And I'm so hard. It was like her favorite line in a movie ever.

And I'm so happy you just put it in that review. And I'm so happy you gave us such a nice review. And I'm so happy that you're getting something out of this. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave us a nice. Too sweet. Everyone is so fucking nice. Yeah. Yeah. I just forget about the knot dice. I'm a valet girl. Uh, quickly, I need to read you a message from Patron.

Okay. This is from Alexa. Hi, Alexa. Alexa says, became a patron, patron member after two months of loving your podcast. Oh my gosh, that's so, so early in our relationship. We've already moved in the end of it. I feel serious with Alexa. You guys have been a light in some dark times. And you both remind me of me and my brother

who love watching horror movies together. Sending European and chocolate cheese to Pittsburgh. Smiley-face emoji. Oh, thank you so much. That's a really sweet message. It really hit me with the brother and sister. Yeah, because you love your sister. Yeah, but I also love you like a sister, so I like really. I love you so much more than I love my brother. He's a dog dick. I hope you're out there Josh, you're a dog dick. Happy, Merry, fucking Christmas. Merry, happy, everyone. Do your thing, eat your cookies, eat your fishes, doing some seven fishes. I mean, to know that we are appreciated by both chicken butt 9989 and Alexa. It's a dream come true. Twist, what if Alexa is chicken butt 989? Alexa, if you're chicken button on 989, don't let us know. I want this mystery to go on

like a cola slamming Nickade. That was last week. Ah fuck it, it's still this week to us. Speaking of weeks. Yeah, what do you want to do next week? Well, we've made a little tradition around here. We picked this literally at the start of recording this movie, and I was on board for it, and now I just remembered it, and I got the worst sinking feeling in my stomach. I'm going to get pissed drunk when I watched this movie. And when you say we picked this, you picked this. I picked it because you suggested it.

How the fuck would I know this exists? How the fuck would I know this exists? This is my supreme gaslighting moment. That is really uncool. We're doing a castle for Christmas starring Bruce Shields and Cary Ellis and Drew Barrymore. It's on Netflix. Yeah, so now we're in 38 minutes of your life. Fock. It's gonna be good. We're gonna have fun with it. Should we get super drunk when we record it? Super drunk on a Thursday night? Oh.

Not above getting a little- I'm working from home the next day. Oh. I don't get super drunk. I don't give a fuck. All right, I guess we're doing that. I love that you're pretending I picked it. You're such a jerk. Look what you did, you a little jerk.

Did you see that Uncle Frank thing on Twitter? Yeah. I loved it so much. Oh, did you see the new t-shirt or the new design that a friend of the podcast Mark made for us? No? He sent it, he tagged us on discord. Oh, I've been on the discord in a bit. I've been like doing work at work. You've been doing thanks. I've been doing thanks. Yes, Mark on our discord sent us this. Which I believe is you pooping off a canoe. Oh my god, is it?

It says, where Boulance established 2014 summer camp, and then it's a moon with the silhouette of a person with a dumper like that, it must be mine. Pooping off a canoe. It's certainly not my flat ass. Well, thank you so much, Mark. Yeah, he said if we wanted to use it, we could. We'll put it up in the idea, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the to, the the the to, the to, to, to, to, to, to, to the the the the the, he said if we wanted to use it, we could. So maybe we'll put it up in the idea. I gotta get him to send it to me as a transparent PNG.

I'll speak with Mark, on this matter. Transparent, to ping. Yes, the same thing I make Justin Gray do every time, because I can't figure out how to do it myself. I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi I thi I thi, I don't thi, I don't thi, I don't thi, I don't that that that tho, I don't thi, I don't thi, I'm to to to to to me, I'm, I'm to me, I'm, I'm, I'm to me me me me me me me me me me me me, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm toge. tip. together, I'm together, I'm together, I'm together, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm together, I'm, I'm, I'm together, No, that's why we, that's why I cut you out of those emails. He doesn't need to know this. He's not a technical terms boy. Well, I hope you all are having a very wonderful holiday season and I hope if you're not that it ends soon. Yeah. In 2023 frankly, frankly, has been a terrible year. In the world, for me personally, for you personally, we've not had a great year. 2024, I feel is going to be good. Okay. Pirates have a lot of young talent.

What? Every time you do this, I just want to swaddle you and hold you. They're going to do it this year. I think they could do it this year. I think they could I think they could do it this year. My New Year's resolution is for the Pittsburgh Pirates to win the pennant. What and how do I? I say we break your arm. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And then we get the doctor to like take the cast off and your pitching arm is going to be out of control good. Out of control good. the togue. Ri. the year th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the the th. the th. the the th. the the year. th. th. the year. the year. the year. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. the the the the the the the the the the the the be the first woman in the major leagues. Rookie of the Year. Rookie of the Year. Lady rookie of the year.

40 year old lady rookie of the year. It's like a league of their own. Yeah. That movie where Dennis Quaid was too old to be a baseball player. The, uh, Bulldurdy. The nullady, no. or whatever. It was like based on a true story about some old guy that got called up to the bigs. And then rookie of the year, of course, where the doctor says funky butt-love and after he gets hit with the dog. It has to be a mashup of those, but we need to throw a horror movie in there too, so there needs to be some is that guy dingers and the movie haunted. I

feel like we need to start we we cast Lacey Schamber in this film. You will never get her name right will you? In 2024 your New Year's resolution should be to get her fucking name right. No. Baseball horn. Is it Shabare? What is her name? I don't know. I know it's not wait. I know you're not right. Okay, there are a number of, oh my god, this is called Night Game from 1989. Night game. A detective's investigation into a serial killing, into a serial killing, into a serial killing. Hmm, that doesn't sound right. Into a serial killing. A single serial killing. Nope reveals a disturbing connection to a local baseball team's record. The detective braces against the clock to catch the serial killer before yet another victim has been seriously murdered.

Listen, I have chosen this for my birthday movie, which is in January. I love it. Yeah, book it. And no one's going to listen to this episode. I don't give a shit. It's mine. Baseball. Baseball. I'll tell you all about my favorite players. You got Mike Schmidt. You got tug-McGrall. I'm out! It's not the 1970s Phillies.

Jose Can Seco? Yeah, Bash Brothers. Come on, you've got another baseball player in you. Name a Pittsburgh pirate. Name a Pittsburgh pirate. Uh, the guy with a nice smile. Cutch. You know his whole name. Uh, McCutchen? Yeah. Anthony McCutcheon? Andrew? Hey, come on. It's a free agent right now.

I was free agent. I hope they resign him. In the ballpark. Merry Christmas, everyone. to their Christmas, everyone. And tha'a'lady to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their to their to their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. too. too. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. th. the. I love you, my friend. I love you as well. Let's fucking turn this off. Sorry I gasslated you about movie choices. I am, it's all I can do right now to not let out an angry fart. Stop the recording, we have to go.

Thanks for listening to another episode of WERO Fabulous. Bye. Have a happy holiday. That's the time of year. you know