Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 497- Terrifier 2 (2022)

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

In this week's episode, we're celebrating TEN YEARS of this nonsense with the 2022 gross out film "Terrifier 2." Special topics for your consideration include: when the yucks come full circle to being fun, being a taxpayer, beautiful physical comedy, lightly confusing mysticism, and not dosing your friends.  We covered the original "Terrifier" back in Episode 197 if you want to hear us talk about a much meaner film. Happy Halloween, babies! The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. Join now and you can help choose our next film!   leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

All right. Wow, where are you going on that oscillating fan? It's my drag, Gell-o. Don't sue me, Robert Zombert. This is how Alan greeted me today, was I got out of the car and he just started singing Dragula. It is Dragula season. It's true.

Dude, he was also standing in front of the car when I got there. What were you doing? I was crossing the street when you looked up. Very fucking weird. I like, I'm an awkward dude. So I ended up being a chronic lurker and I'm just like, it wouldn't bother anybody. So I'm just hovering over people. This is our 10 year anniversary.

Happy anniversary. It's wood, right? I got you this wooden man from That's not where I thought you were going. When you said it's wood, right? I got you this wooden man from Audity. That's not where I thought you were going when you said it's wood. Thank you for making the joke clean. Alan, we've been friends for so long. You don't have to lurk or feel weird around. You could just stand there in front of my car and wait for me to look up.

I was gonna walk around and say hello to you, but then a car was coming down the street, so I had to pull the dog. No, it would have been way less creepy if you were just standing at the driver's side door. In the dark, by the way. With sunglasses on waving at you. Ah.

Well, we better just get into this because it is fucking long as hell. Yeah, we've gotta do beat by beat, so get belt in, we'll be here for another two and a half hours. Alan and I will be doing a script read of Terrifier 2. I will be doing all of read of Terrifier 2. I will be doing all of arts parts. Fantastic.

I really like the physical acting of this guy. Does this guy go to clown college? I would guess yes, and I will look that up while we talk. He's really, really good at what he does. David Howard Thornton. Yes. Who sounds like a millionaire from the 50s. He sure does, but he's from Huntsville, Alabama.

Oh yeah, that's the other way that could go, huh? Yeah. That way too. Yep, yep. We could head into serial killer territory as well. He's just a child. He's been in drama since he was a child, so. But you're gonna say he's just a child.

He's just a child, a 44 year old child. He's great. He's phenomenal. I would watch him do anything. His physical comedy is so good. Yes. In a movie that's ostensibly terrifying. It's not that funny.

I mean it is, but I'm not sure it's meant to be. I need to talk about the intentions of this film. What movie are we doing? Terrifier 2. Terrifier 2, The Deuce. So this movie opens with a doctor under a table and a clown is sort of slow chasing him. And I thought like, did I watch the last movie?

I had a moment of terror. Picks up right with the last movie left off. Okay. I don't remember. I don't remember at all, except for the woman being cut apart via her vagina. They have the, I rewatched that scene today. I was like, why not? It's spooky season.

So yes, the last movie I believe ends with the Jason, him sitting up in the morgue. Gotcha. And so yes, we pick up with him chasing this mortician around. Okay, whom he kills. Yeah. And then does the movie, is there like a one year later or something?

I missed it. I, I cannot for the life of me between like rewatching the first movie and then watching this, I have no idea what the timeline is because the first movie starts off with the interview with the woman with the mangled face, Victoria. And she's like, and the interviewer is like, well, one year ago this happened. And then this movie starts off and it's like one year the interviewer's like, well, one year ago this happened, and then this movie starts off, and it's like, one year ago this happened. And I'm just like, is that, but, so we want,

in this movie, are we one year past Victoria's interview? I don't know. Yeah, me neither. I don't know the timeline of this at all. Well, Victoria attacks the person, ah, it doesn't matter. The like news lady. The host. Yeah, when that happens in the current matter. The like the host. Yeah.

When that happens in the current timeline. I think, yeah, yeah. Because what's her face is talking about it, Brooke. Oh, what's her face? Oh, what's her face? There's Brooke and the taxpayer. That's what I refer to in this. Cause that woman looks like she pays tax.

She worries about her marginal tax rate. She's like a film producer and stuff. She's very old. She's like my age. I'm sure of it. She's also beautiful. Gorgeous. But there's, you're not convincing me she's very old. She's like my age, I'm sure of it. She's also beautiful. Gorgeous. But you're not convincing me she's under 35.

She went back to school after her kids grew up. She's a non-traditional student. Non-trad, too. Back to high school. So we see Art the Clown, his head is all jacked up. But this does not stop him from digging around in there and writing on the mirror in blood. His own name.

His own name. It also doesn't stop him from pulling out the Morgue Man's eyeball and sticking it in his own eye and going, ha ha ha! Yeah, I wrote, well that's all right with me. So here's the thing about these movies. Yeah, they're gross. So gross.

And like, I love that, like there's even if it's apocryphal, the stories of people vomiting and having to run out of the movie. That can't be true. I think it's great. They should all watch Lucio Fulci's The Beyond. Yes, but I think people who haven't watched that and watch a woman get bifurcated via the vagina with a handsaw. That might make you puke. Might be not as fucked up as we are. Oh, wait. people who haven't watched that and watch a woman get bifurcated via the vagina with a handsaw

might be not as fucked up as we are. Wait, I think I just had like a thing I need to talk about in therapy this week moment where I just realized I'm super fucked up. Hi, I'm desensitized to violence. I'm desensitized to film violence. So the thing that I like about this is it's gross. But what art does that I really appreciate

is that he doesn't stop. Yeah, he kills till they're dead for sure. And then like goes and plays around in their ends. So it's like, it goes beyond fucked up. Yeah. So just like, oh, this is funny. This is silly. Now I don't know that other people see that.

That might just be to you the other end of it, you know? Oh, I love when he smooches that eyeball into his eye socket though. And then he's kind of like, he does the like physical reaction of like, well, this won't work, you know? He's like a beautiful child. Yeah, yeah.

That's like I said, he's just a child. And he also, he like, and also kudos to these films for the practical effects are amazing. And him beating this man's head in with a fucking hammer. Yeah, moshes him all up. Yeah, it was amazingly gross. Yeah. Like there's like the recoil of the flesh

and it was just like, oh. Oh, it's disgusting. Yeah, kudos. It's great. It's a lot, It's great, but it's a lot. And I also, I like, I'll save that to the end. Okay. Um, so what does he do after he, he brutally murders this man? Um, heads over to the laundromat. Yeah. I feel like he would be easy to catch art clown.

Just a couple of reasons. He's like a six foot two, all white and black clown covered in blood carrying around a massive garbage bag, which is full of like sharp tools. And I kept thinking, how's it not ripping? I can't, I can't throw a fucking pizza box in a trash bag. Like broken glass. It's magic. He is actually magic. I mean, that's what this movie kind of reveals?

Yeah. Question mark? I have some questions about this. Yes, along with the timeline, there are things that happen in this film. So, Art's in the laundromat. Yes. He strips down to his birthday suit, if you will.

This is what made me wonder, do you think Art jerks it? And if so, to what? I don't know. I know. I thought about it for longer than I should have. Go ahead. I weirded out because of the first movie,

I know he shits, which is upsetting. Wait, did he shit in the first movie? Yeah, they go into the pizza parlor, he goes back to the bathroom and shits and then smears it all over the walls. Oh, that's right. And he comes out with shit on his hands and does the ha ha ha hands.

That's fucking, that happened to me working in a bagel shop in Oakland, so I don't love it. No, it's gross. Yeah. So he's in the laundromat, he's naked, there's a man sleeping who doesn't see him naked yet. Yeah. And while he's sitting there,

he sees a young girl that looks not unlike him. Yeah, she's great too. And she, I was like, how, what conversations did her parents have to have with her to do this movie? I mean, because this is her first film too. She at the beginning is, it's, it says in introducing, she, you know, like, she didn't even do like a small child part and a small rom-com. She wasn't the Gerber baby. Exactly. So I don't know. And then you think like, your parents are doing a bad, they're doing a real bad.

So I saw on, I think on Reddit, uh, yeah, that's the only social media I'm on. And a woman, proud of you. A woman had her child, thank you, had her child at a higher con and art. The clown is walking up to her daughter who's dressed like the little girl from terrifying, which made me go, your daughter watched terrifier. Oh my God. Your child, your baby baby child watched this movie. So far this year I have shown Lucy Muppets Haunted Mansion,

the Garfield Halloween Spectacular, the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, and DTV where they show all of the music videos set to spooky songs from 1987. You're so into that. I love that. I love it. It was from when I was three. Yeah.

That's it. I can't imagine. Oh, and a Serbian movie, of course. Oh, a Serbian film, of course, yes. I have not seen that and I'm not going to. No, ew, gross, no. No, ew, gross, no. I know what happens in it.

I'm never watching that movie. Go fuck itself. I read what happens in it. And then I immediately blocked it from my brain. I don't remember what it is. I feel like, yeah, we're fucked up in weird and grossos. We're not bad. No, because those people are fucked up

in their real lives too. No, just kidding, you guys like that movie? I don't know, you're fucked up. Speaking of fucked up, a lot of weirdos in laundromats. How many weirdos have you met in a laundromat? Especially if you're doing laundry at like two in the morning. Yeah, prime weirdo ground. Which also is like, oh yeah, I'm also one of those weirdos have you met in a laundromat? Especially if you're doing laundry at like two in the morning. Yeah, prime weirdo ground.

Which also is like, oh yeah, I'm also one of those weirdos. Yeah, yeah, you know. So this is Young Girl. And how does she introduce herself to art? Just spewing some shit out her butt? Yeah, just violent diarrheas and smiles at him. Is it poop? It's poop. I guess it's poop.

I've never had this work on a first date. This is a first date. This is a first date, right? This is their meet-cute. An 11-year-old ghost child in art's meet-cute is kicked off with spraying diarrhea. She's got the same eyebrows, it's perfect. And weird mouth. Yeah.

You know I have a problem with people vomiting on screen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guess what else I have a problem with? vomiting on screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Guess what else I have a problem with? It's shit, isn't it? Yeah, it's gross. It doesn't really bother me. I think my 100% track record of never changing a diaper has really made shit seem extra gross to me.

Oh yeah, parenthood has totally desensitized me to bodily fluids. It looks like it comes out of one of the animals in my house and I'm just like, I'll just pick that up. Put it in your pocket, throw it away when you get home. It could work all day. Oh shit. Oh, turn pocket.

So the guy wakes up, the guy who had been sleeping wakes up and he looks over and sees this naked adult man doing sort of like a patty cake kind of thing with nobody. Yeah. So she's not there. She's not real, but he is. In court. But she only, the only people that ever see her are Jonathan and Anya Taylor-Joyce stunt double.

As I told you in a text message. Yeah, and then I was mad that you, I was so mad that you put it in a text instead of saving it for the episode that I just blew it out of here before you in a text message. Yeah, and then I was mad that you, I was so mad that you put it in a text instead of saving it for the episode that I just blew it out of here before you could bring it up. I'm sorry. It's okay. I enjoy our friendship and not just record it.

No, well, I just worry about burning gold, you know? I worry about it. You know. So yeah, the sleeping dude gets killed, of course. As Art's leaving, we see that he's gotten like something shoved through his head. Yeah, it's like a mop handle that's been broken or something. Yeah. This is where we get the opening credits.

And I was like, wait, fucking Chris Jericho or something? I did not see him. Oh, okay. Cause you had to stick around to after the credits. Oh, really? There's like a long post credit sequence. Oh, you missed. I can't wait to explain to you what happened. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I was, I was like, I was wondering

if he was just an extra. No known Trump supporter. Chris Jericho. No, he's a Trump supporter. At least his wife is. I don't know if he is or not. A lot of people are stupid. Doesn't make everybody stupid. He's Canadian. He can't vote. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he probably has American citizenship. Nar. Canadians say no. No, that's all Australians say no. Nar. My note was, wait, that Cristerico?

Oh yeah, it is that Cristerico. It is that Cristerico. Is this? Oh, please you. We cut to mom making dinner. Yeah. Barbara. I felt very old because I felt like I related to Barbara quite a bit. Sure.

Where you're cooking and working and your kids being a dick. Yeah. I just fucking felt that. Yeah. She's got on like a Janet Jackson mic and she is doing tele... I think she's doing customer service for an insurance company. Yeah. Yeah. I like that your reference for a person who wears a headset is Janet Jackson, 57 year

old Janet Jackson. 50 year old me. Yeah, you know. You know the mic I'm talking about when I say a Janet Jackson mic. Of course. You could have said, who's the one you like who gets carried around sometimes?

Or Hannah Grande. I bet she wears that mic too. This child sure has a lot of candles in her room. She does. I think this is bad. Even before the fire, I think she's been. She's an adult though. Oh, she's in a bar.

She's in a bar later She's in a bar. We never addressed this. She goes to high school, but they drink in bars. I mean, I did too, but I had a fake ID. Was that high school or like community college? I couldn't tell. Oh, she says something like, oh, I, I had a panic attack in front of everyone at school, which isn't like something. I feel like you'd say at junior college, you know, cause you would say at junior college, you know? Yeah, because you would say at junior college. At junior college, at CCAC. And she's doing cosplay Halloween makeup creations

that are very intense, it would take me five years to make. It takes her five months, we learn. Yeah. Yeah. Who has the time? Teen college students. Just Andi Taylor-Joy's stunt double from Split. That's amazing. I'm so glad you learned that.

I was like, what else is this woman doing? She's great. She is great. Oh, wow. Yeah. You could tell she's doing her own stunts in a lot of this movie. Yeah.

And the younger brother, Jonathan, I know from YouTube. Why? Because he was this weird, precocious child who would interview heavy metal people. What are you talking about? So like I saw videos of him like interviewing Rob Halford from Judas Priest and stuff as like a nine year old. How did he? How?

Because his dad was like a metalhead and like got him into metal and then he was like, I want to do a YouTube channel because I'm a child. That's what we do. I found him hard to watch. I want to say this is his first film. It's just that he's so awkward. He's just like, it just feels like being in junior high and your whole body seizes, you know? He reminds me of like those, uh, uh,

like European soccer goalies, like who are just like, they look like they're 15 and then you realize they're actually seven foot three Yeah, their wingspan is eight feet for some reason slender man. Yes. Yeah, it's like an adorable little slender man But with like yeah baby's face on it saying things like Charles Manson technically never killed anyone. It's true though Who is like not many people are Charles Manson enthusiasts. No, there's Axl Rose. Yeah. I remember he got in trouble once for wearing a Charlie don't surf T-shirt

with a picture that Charles Manson on it. Was the don't surf, is that a reference to the Beach Boys? Like how he lived with Dennis Wilson? I think, well, Charlie don't surf is a reference to Apocalypse Now. I've never seen Apocalypse Now. Don't look at me like that. I can't wait to do the redux with you when we watched three reference to Apocalypse Now? I've never seen Apocalypse Now. Don't look at me like that. I can't wait to do the redux with you

when we watch three hours of Apocalypse Now. I don't have the time. Who doesn't love a war film? Me, it's me. You would love a young Charlie Sheen though. I'll just watch Hot Shots Part D. Not Charlie Sheen, Martin Sheen, it's fine. Oh, yeah.

It's a fun movie because everyone does all the drugs they're say they're doing on screen. Oh, fun. We said we were doing LSD on the boat. We were. That's pretty great, actually. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've listened to Charles Manson's album. Really?

Any good? That song Garbage Dumps Not Bad. He's just like such a gross little redneck. He's a piece of shit. into Charles Manson's album. Really? Any good? And some garbage dump's not bad. He's just like such a gross little redneck. I mean, he's a piece of shit. Yeah, for sure. But beyond that, he's like not a particularly interesting one. Yeah, he's got that riz though. He's just a gross little redneck.

He's a tiny little gross redneck. He's just a tiny little gross redneck that got other little weird gross rednecks to be like, yeah, I'll follow you. Yeah, that's true. I don't have that Riz. I don't know. Maybe I could start a cult.

Oh yeah, for sure. You think? Oh my God, I'd follow you. You're not a joiner. That's true. I would talk to everybody outside of following you so I could be the only one. She's been talking about starting this cult for a while. Anyway.

I don't think this cult's getting off the ground. No, it's dead in the water. Barbara. The mom is having a conversation with Sienna, the daughter who says she's going to the party at Megan Melanie's, which is a name that I will never forget. Megan Melanie. That's a two first name full name that just doesn't work. It's no Sally, Jesse, Raphael. Oh, you think Melanie is her last name? I thought her name was like Megan, Melanie, Joe Hanson. She says, you know, I don't drink, which is obviously a lie. Sure. Cause teens be drinking. Right? Yeah. Teens still drink.

No, no. Like that's a thing, right? Like younger generations aren't drinking. No, we. Generation alpha. Is that the one that's the. No, I think that's what my, right? Like younger generations aren't drinking. No, we generation alpha. Is that the one that's the, no, I think that's what my kid is. Oh really? She's certainly not drinking. She better not be. Bust that kid's ass. Uh, so yeah, she says she's not drinking and then she says she's worried about Jonathan that he's going to start killing little animals and stuff. Yeah. She says something like, who looks up to serial killers? And I was like, actually a lot of people,

because it's pretty big business now. Serial killers are big fucking money. Yeah, I feel like it was just weirdos when I was a kid that were into serial killers. Who else read like a true crime book that you'd get at the airport? Only weirdos. Or your weird friend be like,

look, I got this serial killer collectible cards deck. Yeah. That's gross. Yeah. You have to go see the guidance counselor now. Yeah. Oh, you bought an original John Wayne Gacy painting? Weird. Kudos. Weird. Then we cut to Jonathan up in his room,

looking at websites about the murders of the women from the first movie. Correct. Yeah. He is, he wants to dress up as art the clown for Halloween and his sister is telling him that it's a bad idea because, um, apparently it happened here. Yeah. Okay. Middle, whatever the name of their town. I thought they were in New York city. That's the vibe, right? Yeah. Maybe they have to go into the city to do things. They're definitely in the suburbs when they York City. That's the vibe, right? Yeah. Maybe they have to go into the city to do things.

They're definitely in the suburbs when they're home. That's true. You're right about that. Long Island. That makes sense. Sienna casually has a sharp sword laying around and says something like the blade is razor sharp. And I was like, Anton Chekhov, are you here?

It is you. It turns out to be more than just that though. I'm like, it's so like a rational amount more. I'm still unclear, we can discuss. Yeah. Yeah. And someone's watching House on Haunted Hill, which I was very excited about, cause I love that movie.

Yeah, Sienna falls asleep watching House on Haunted Hill. I love when very excited about, because I love that movie. Yeah, Sienna falls asleep watching House on Haunted Hill. I love when the, yeah, that's the best part of it too, where the lady comes across the floor. So good. Why would she just be on a skateboard? It's just so fucking funny. She falls asleep and she's having this dream. Yeah.

Before we get into this dream, Damien, Damien Leon, this didn't have to be in this movie. We could have lost a half an hour right here. Honestly, this dream, uh, Damien, Damien Leon, this didn't have to be in this movie. We could have lost a half an hour right here. Honestly, the stream sequence is so long and so not part of the movie. I don't know. I feel like these, he was contractually obligated to get these teens in there somehow. There's like a brief call back to them at the end of the movie. Yeah.

When she goes, falls into the hole. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like that wasn't enough to just like, I would have been fine with like weird dead kids on a jungle gym. I'm like, yeah, I accept that. Yeah, this is, that would be fine for this movie.

The clown cafe song is a real earworm. I'll give it that. It's a bop. But yeah, there's like a nun and a man with like a help me sign and she's ringing a bell and saying, feed this man. I don't understand any of this. Yeah, I don't know.

The kid eating the cereal and there's bugs and. And I've watched all the movies up to this point. There's like three other movies that have Arthur Clown in them. Wait, have you seen the new one, the Christmas one? No, I have not seen that. But there's like older ones that he did before. Yeah.

Yeah, so yeah, I don't know what the fuck this shit is. Okay. I mean, it looks great. It looks really nice. It's spooky and you'll have like a weird dream, but we are in this weird dream for literally like 25 minutes. And it gets a little too Freddy.

Like just the awkward dreaminess of it, just because it gets a little too Freddy for my taste. Yeah, like art's just riding around on a tricycle for a while. Yeah. And then like the little kid eating the razor blades in the cereal. I was like, I'd rather watch the cheddar goblin from Mandy again, if I'm going to get a commercial. Yeah. And he,

so art is like giving food to all of these people and they're eating it badly, like pouring popcorn into their face. Yeah. And then he forces a package into Sienna's hands and it's like a heart and some worms. I don't IDK. IDK some blood and then bloods. Yeah. And why would she put her damn fingers in there? I don't know. I don't know. And then art pulls out a gun and murders everyone for a really long time.

Like a Tommy gun. Yeah, it's a Tommy gun, I should have said. I don't like horror villains using guns. Too real. Sure. Too real. Yeah. People getting shot in a public place. I don't love it. I don't love it, Art the Clown. It's just a fact of life that we have to accept. Oh, right. My future vice president taught us.

That's your future vice president, whom I haven't seen in a few weeks. Like hide your couches. Where's this man been? I'm a little nervous. So she wakes up from the dream. Oh, there's a good fire walk too with the banjo player. You know, that's always been a dream of mine though, is to wield a flamethrower. A truly always been a dream.

I thought you were going to say to light a banjo player on fire. I mean, I wouldn't mind wielding it at a banjo player, but I could live without that part. Yeah, he's got a little flame thrower, he's lighting everything on fire. I do like that. And she wakes up to these beautiful angel wings that she had made burning in her room

because she left some candles burning. The sword is on fire. But then the sword is fine. But also a sword wouldn't catch fire. No. I mean, you can melt metal. Yeah, but not, I mean, it has to be like industrial heat, right?

Not just like regular ass fire. That's like a campfire. Yeah, I mean, you can burn steel at a campfire for sure. I've watched enough forged in fire. I was gonna say, look, steel doesn't burn at that temperature, but my new thing is not just that, not that 9-11 was a conspiracy,

but just that 9-11 never happened. I'm a 9-11 denier. For a while I tried being a Vietnam denier. Wow, wow, wow. Oh guys, my rib's still broken. I can't. You should bring that back. I like that for you a lot. The golf of Tonkin was fake

and so was the rest of the fucking world. Oh my God, so fake. That's why we didn't elect John Kerry. All of our fathers. Because he was a liar. Whole thing was a swift vote. God, that's terrible. The nonsense that Alan is saying right now

is nothing to be actually believe. No, you sold me, I believe you. Vietnam never happened. Oh man. So the mom is fucking furious. Oh, she's real, you would be mad too. If the child has not set the house on fire before, I think this is the wrong reaction. Sure. Yeah.

And it does not seem that she has set the house on fire before. Mom seems to be, as the kids say, going through it. Yeah. She is stressed. Yeah. She's got a lot on her plate. Well, she got that Janet Jackson like kind of talk to those people about insurance. Got these two dick bag kids. Both of her kids are kind of dickbags. Yeah. So then we get the, this is where we get the, we get a montage of art making weapons.

Yeah. He and his pal are just being industrious. Yeah. It's a little lady friend. Yeah. And they, so they're both silent. They're both mimes essentially and their physical acting, both of them is just a lot of fun. So much fun. Yeah. And I can see being like, Oh, I'd love to show my kid this part of this movie.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Mom, can I see the rest of it? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Oh, let me see where she'd tie her rios on the floor. See that part I feel like a kid might laugh at. That's fine. That's not scary to a kid. So we get a TV show the TV show the interview of the survivor from the first art killings Yeah talking to the lady

The interviewer seems very Unsympathetic to this woman. She's like wow, how'd that fucking happen to your gross-ass face and like just people hate you because I bet people hate you and gross ass face and like, just people hate you because I bet people hate you. Like, why would you do this interview about what happened to his body or whether or not he died? Like there's no way. Oh my God, I can't wait to reveal to you what happens.

Okay, okay, I'm sorry, okay, okay. No, don't be sorry. You're gonna get so mad. I think it's delightful. If your movie is gonna be two hours and 20 minutes, don't expect me to stick around to the end of the credits. That's excessive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, we're heading into Ben-Hur territory and there's not a single person died in a goddamn chariot race in this. That movie's boring as hell. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. So cut two kids poking a possum with a stick, as you do. And all these gross little boys. And taunting girls with it.

They're doing it right in front of a teacher, like a bunch of dipshits. And then the teacher shoves one of them. All the teachers are manhandling these children. Did you notice that? You can't do that. Can principals shove children? Long Island is a lawless area where we've decided this movie is taking place. Yeah, you're right. They would shove children in Long Island. And then who's the teacher who comes up and yells at them?

That's Felicia fucking Rose. Who's Felicia fucking Rose? Oh, you might have seen her dick at the end of Sleepaway Camp. Oh, really? That's nice. That's nice. Yeah, it is. I did see her dick at the end of Sleepaway Camp.

So Jonathan's in class and he goes to the bathroom. He sees art and the little girl playing with the dead possum. He sees the girl. He does. And this goes on for a long time. Her and he passing the dead possum back and forth between them and like picking its bits out, picking its hot dogs out. This part is gross and dumb to me. Yeah. And then they throw the possum at Jonathan and he gets in trouble for playing with the possum. They don't seem to notice that he's there until he drops the hall pass.

Oh, you fucking idiot. Yeah. They throw the possum at him. And his teacher comes out and just like shoves him straight shakes him. I might cut this. Yeah. The teacher had great tits and they were bursting out of her like splitting her shirt open. And I was like, you are not dressed appropriate to be a teacher.

You are not cutting that. It hurt me, it hurt my chest. You have to put it in. Shake her boobs. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I do recall thinking that her shirt was low cut. Yeah. And like bursting, bursting. Just and I was like, oh, this is the start of a penthouse letter.

And I never would happen to me. This is for you, Alan. It's spooky and booby season. We cut to junior college and Sienna is being rude to her friend who's talking about cereal. Yeah. Because she was grossed out by the cereal commercial she saw in her dream.

Oh my God. Don't fucking talk about cereal. Shut up. Her friend is the taxpayer here. Mortgage. Mortgage for sure. And then the other friend shows up and starts talking about how Monica Brown, the TV interviewer, got her face ripped off

by the sole survivor. It goes into like gross detail about it. She goes, from what I hear, she looks like the inside of my cookie. Like, where did you hear that? Oh, I just got it. What? Cookie.

Oh. Yeah. Cookie. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. But she is eating a cookie. Oh, but people do call their cookie their cookie, right? Do they? I think so.

I don't know about that. Because why would you just look like the inside of a chocolate chip cookie? I don't know. When you look like the inside of a vagina. I mean, the vagina does make a whole lot more sense. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I was watching this scene like, which is the one that shouldn't drive? Cause earlier in the movie, we've been told one of them shouldn't drive. It's definitely Brooke. Brooke sucks. Yeah. Brooke is truly the worst.

Oh my God. She's a nightmare. Yeah. She, I can see, I think we've like, she would be your Lindsay Lohan friend, right? Yeah. You're like, you're the wild card, like you're, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna take the fucking governor off

and let's see what happens. Right, she's your friend you're eating chicken wings with on the sidewalk. And like, then she pukes, you know? So specific, it's definitely happened. Yeah. Oh man. So they're in the costume store

and the 32 year old friend bumps into art. What is her name? What is her name? Is this Allie? Yes. Okay, Allie literally bumps into art. Yeah. Yeah.

This happened in their town. Like she would know what the serial killing clown looked like, right? Everyone would. Yeah. There was like police sketches of him. Yeah, and they were pretty accurate. But also there's going to be a lot of people this year

dressed up as art of the clown. I find that hard to believe because everyone is so appalled at the child wanting to do it. Katie. Alan. I will point out the Scream franchise to you. Right. Fair enough.

You're right. You're absolutely right. That is incredibly- Who's that? The third movie where she comes back to town for her book signing or whatever and everyone is dressed up? Yeah, that's right. He's like on the town flag now.

I love that for her. That is such a funny commentary in America. It really now. Yeah. Yeah. I love that for her. That is such a funny commentary in America. It really is. Yeah, all right. I'm fine with it then. Yeah. But he's being such a creep in the store. He's so fucking funny.

He's just staring away at Sienna. Yeah. And like putting on sunglasses. So I was in the, you've been to the Spirit Halloween store over there by the Trader Joe's heck Yeah, I have did you see the big art the clown animatronic where he's wearing those yellow sunglasses I had no idea what that meant and then I accidentally stepped on it and scared the piss out of me. I

Love when he puts on The hand sunglasses and then puts his hands up next to the sunglasses. With like his mouth wide open. It's so good. He's so funny. It's so terrible. So terrible. Just terrible. Yeah. Like, cause you know, this man is going to murder these people. Yeah. We've already seen him viciously murder people for no reason. Yeah. He's basically playing with his food at this point. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

I do have that note that says this is, this is veering with his food at this point. Yeah, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. I do have a note that says this is veering into Freddy territory at this point. You know, I'll take the physical acting over the Freddy quippiness any day. A quipless Freddy? It's fantastic, actually. Or a quipless Horace Pinker, if you will, the poor man's Freddy.

Oh my God. You practically said it's primetime, bitch. So she's buying some wings because hers got set on fire. Poor man's Freddie. Oh my God. He practically said, it's primetime, bitch. So she's buying some wings because hers got set on fire. And she says to, this part infuriated me because the clerk can see how uncomfortable she is and how scared she is. He does not give a shit. I was not sad to see Ricky get murdered.

He does tell him to get the fuck out of the store. Not because he's terrifying this woman, but because he's just being weird to him. Yeah. You're annoying a man. Yeah. There's no crime greater than annoying a man as I've been told many times as a woman. But I do like that. She says to him, like, I think I left my bag downstairs, but before she can get the word out, the clown slaps it on the counter and walks away. So good. and walks away.

So good, and walks away like, fucking just take your bag. Jesus Christ, why wouldn't you pick up your bag? Like he's her boyfriend, sick of picking up her bag from downstairs all the time. Which is also very funny. Very funny, yeah. And then he sneaks up on her with a horn,

and she can see him in a peripheral vision just because, don't do that. Yes. And fucking Ricky, like ask her if she's okay. Don't leave her alone with this clown when you go to get a bigger bag who is clearly terrifying her. Re-watching the first one today, the terrifying today.

And when they're in the pizza shop and he's like menacing them, the pizza guy comes up and he goes, you guys are right? I'll take care of him. You know why? Cause that's a good Italian. I don't remember at all.

Was he a good Italian? Yeah. Okay. I want to say his name was Sal. Okay, right. It was just like full blown. Look, if you're going to have a pizza shop in a movie, you'd best be Italian.

Yeah. So he goes to buy the horn and he's unloading his pockets full of like chains and mallets and machetes and a glass bottle. And Ricky is like, are you fucking kidding me right now? And he goes, hold on. And then pulls out a bunch of change and starts counting it out. And I was like, that's funny. That is very funny because he has like the crumpled dollar bills. And then he just picks up the bottle and smashes it on Ricky's head. Yeah. And then stabs him in the fucking eye with

a broken bottle. Stabs him in the eye with a fucking broken bottle. Oh my God. It's so good. Yeah. I'm happy for this guy to die. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so funny. Like, and then chopping him in the head with a hatchet for a really long time. Yeah. He murders him a lot. We got to this this conversation between Sienna and Allie,

where Sienna's like, I dreamed the fire, and then it happened, and her friend's like, no, you were having a dream about a fire because there was a fire actually happening. It's like, listen to your friend here. She files her taxes on time. But all of this could be cut, by the way. It's true. All of it.

But also, I have to say, watching have to say watching this entire movie, like, at no point was like, I got to pause. I got to walk away for a little while. Like did you watch it all in one sitting? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How many? Two, two, but only because it was late, not because I was tired of the movie, but because it was getting late and I couldn't do it anymore. So I had to get up early this morning and finish it. Did you watch it on Pecock?

I watched it on Pecock. I did. I Pecock. Nice. I did. I sure did. Nice. I sure did. Yeah. No, I watched it on Prime. It was on Prime. Okay. You emailed me and told me to watch it on Prime. That's right. That's right. I watched Terrifier on Pecock. Oh, gotcha.

Yeah. So now Jonathan has daddy's sketchbook. Would they keep referring to their dead dad? They keep calling him daddy, and I feel like they were a bit old for that, but that's fine. It just has a different meaning now. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. It's like the car that I drive up by all the time going to work that says bought with daddy's

money, but I'm daddy. Can I get one of those for my 2011 Toyota Corolla? You have to have the other sticker that he has on it as well. What's that? Milk Mobile. I don't want that. No, but they're a twofer. I think I'm gonna set.

Before the sketchbook, we get a scene of a mother and son trying to get into the store and it's closed cause Art locked the door. Oh right. And he's standing there with Ricky's head as a mannequin and like the kid, mom turns away and he winks at the kid or whatever. And I was like, that's gross.

Very gross. But they do the same bit again later. Oh, the trick or treat. Yeah. So I was like, all right, one of these can be taken out. One. Not the trick or treat one, because that one's great.

The trick or treat one is better, I agree. So yeah, Daddy's sketchbook. Daddy's sketchbook. Daddy. He's got like, I got high and drew my favorite heavy metal album covers. He sure did. They're like, wow, he's so talented.

Nope. Nope. Your dad told you about how he could have been a comic book artist, didn't he? Yeah. But you guys came along and fucked everything up. Your dad told you about how he could have been a comic book artist, didn't he? Yep. But you guys came along and fucked everything up. Well, he was fucking huffing bones out in the garage. They've been looking for this sketchbook for a while.

Jonathan has apparently had it the whole time. And in it, the dad has also been collecting news clippings about a girl being murdered at a carnival, mauled at a carnival. Uh huh. Uh huh. What girl is it? It's the little girl from the thing. Yeah, the little ghost girl. From the thing. At this point I was like, oh, your dads are at the clown.

Right? Right? Yeah. It's the whole Horace Pinker problem of like, you've been adopted and no one knows who your dad is and there's a serial killer, your dad's a serial killer, right? Horace Pinker, that little stinker. That stinky Horace Pinky. I was like, hey, was your dad by chance like a very tall, thin, animated man?

Because I found him. I know where he is. Insane cheekbones. Yeah. Dad's got drawings of all these people being murdered and of Arthur Clown. Yeah. And this is pushing Barbara over the edge.

Sure. Yeah. She's sick of this fucking book and all this fucking shit. And you fucking kids. And I was like, you were effing and jeffing at your kids so much. So the principal has sent home Jonathan for having brought the dead possum into school.

She's furious about this. But he's like, no, it wasn't me. It was Art the Clown. And she says something like, did Art the Clown not put your bowl in the goddamn sink too? Yeah, I was like, that's the most mom shit she could have dropped on it. So mom.

So at this point, we don't know what happened to daddy. Yeah. But we're told that that's not who he was, all those ugly things in there. I don't know, man. Sure. I wish dad was Art the Clown. I would have liked that a lot better.

The whole like, dad is a fucking psychic wizard or something like story line. From a brain tumor? From a brain tumor. From a brain tumor. Oh no. Not like the guy from The Descendants who got the brain tumor and just got really mean. Yeah.

But he got rid of it and then got nice again, right? Yeah. It was like the size of a tennis ball. That's wild. Yeah. And he could play drums again. It was really nice again. He's like, I got my life back.

This is great. Oh, geez. How sad. Yeah. What if it turns out that you have all this like untapped potential and you just don't know about it because you have a brain tumor? You just reminded me of this great story that I read that was about a woman who was super

depressed and she got a parasite in her brain and where the parasite sat, it got rid of her depression and she was like, started living this like really great life, but she went to a doctor and they're like, we have to take it out. You can't have a parasite in your brain. Yes you can. She's got one. It's fine. She took it out and she had depression again. It was like, this is the saddest story ever. Is this RFK Jr.? Could they not get some sort of pseudo parasite

and put it in her brain? I don't know. It just feels like, what about a thumbtack? You know what I mean? Like if it's just pressure. I mean, I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. Let's just start tripanning this woman and see where this goes. I mean, it'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. Let's just start your panning this woman and see where this goes.

I mean, it had to have worked sometimes or they wouldn't have kept doing it. Sometimes people's humors are actually bad. Oh, my black bile. That's not good. Not so good. Not so good. So, oh don't know.

Oh yeah, dad's sketchbook, the clippings, the drawing of Sienna and her armor. Yeah, and that's the costume she's making. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's not gonna miss a fucking party. Her brother's like, stay home. She's like, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For no reason, she doesn't seem to wanna be there. She doesn't seem to really like it until... It seems like she wanted to go to hang out with Allie, who never makes it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because she's at her own house, which she probably bought by getting in on the ground floor of a more multilevel marketing scheme. There's not a lot of Generation Z that's able to go out there and buy a house at this point in time, so it's really nice for her. I'm happy for her, yeah. And this economy? And we also get a shower scene of,

of Seattle with some great side boob. I was surprised by this because I did think she was supposed to be a high school student and it just felt out of place. Katie. Alan. How many movies have we seen with topless high school? Those high school students are like 25 though. Yeah.

I'm thinking of Carrie. I'm thinking of a thousand, I guess the sorority slime ball bowling girl. Yeah, they're in college. College girls can get their tits out. Watch their ass cracks forever. God, that's such a protracted scene of washing one's tits and ass. How dirty can they get?

So she's giving away candy. This is Allie to children. And then Art the Clown comes up to the door with his garbage bag. Don't talk to him, just literally throw a chocolate bar in there and shut the door. Like there's no reason to interact with him. Hey, aren't you the guy from the store?

Huh, huh, huh, huh. Also, Art drives a van. Yeah, he has a black van. Yeah, like a child molester van. Like a child molester van, yeah. Yep. I don't know where he got it. I don't know where he has material goods. He's got a bucket full of change and a black van. Yeah. He rallies around his family with a pocket full of shells.

When she looks into the bag, it's full of saws. And dust. Makes no sense. When she looks into the bag, it's full of saws. And dust. Makes no sense. Oh my God. So she, she locks the door to keep him out. And goes upstairs. And calls Sienna who doesn't answer because she's got her boobs out in the shower.

She's too busy being like, I'm a sexy warrior. What are you going to be following this year? Sexy warrior. I think I'm going to be sexy Nancy Reagan. What do you think be for Halloween this year? Sexy warrior. I think I'm gonna be sexy Nancy Reagan. What do you think? The throat goat? Physical reaction to that. I wish you could have seen it. Sometimes I wish this was a visual medium.

I don't ever dress up for Halloween. Oh, I know you don't. I love the spookiness of Halloween. I'm not a big dress up guy. Yeah. I think that's a great costume. Thank you. I'm sorry I said throat goat about Nancy Reagan. You can say whatever you want about Nancy Reagan. That lady sucked. Wait, she demonstrably did not keep children off

drugs. I mean, congratulations to drugs for having won the war on drugs. I am proud of you and honestly we're all the better for it. Love drugs. When Sienna gets out of the shower or no before the shower, she has, she's watching the news and the news lady talks to her. Oh yes. That's right. Something about her meds. Maybe I don't even know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I do have a note that says her costume is insanely sexy. It is so sad. Like when she's in the car later, I was like, how are you sitting? Like you could not sit down in that thing.

Dude, when she's doing like the rough and tumble roll around on the floor is like that bra is holding them bad boys in. Like you would like, there's tape involved in what's going on right now. Those tits are taped for sure. That's double stick. Yeah. Yeah. We're back at the taxpayer's house. Someone has broken her door. Yeah. Terrifying. Terrifying. Yeah. And she looks into the kitchen and here comes Art the Clown

filling up a glass of water and chugging it in a menacing way. To be able to chug water in a menacing way is a real talent. You've met men before, right? We can do anything menacingly. I don't know, he's pretty good. He's great.

Like, I love this scene. It's like, ew, also, why does he have to drink water? It's just, well, he pisses. And shits. Yeah. I mean, you can't piss and shit if you don't drink water. He slices her eye face all the way open and through her eye into her face, the face of her eye, the face of her eye. And then also her face where her eye lives. And it looks fantastic. And like, like Fulte was just like, yeah, yeah, it's really like, it's very gummy. Very gummy. Yeah.

And then he cuts her scalp off with scissors and cuts her back open and flays her and breaks her arm and pulls it off. At what point would you go into shock? This is the thing though. This is what I like is that like, if he just did just the scalping, if he just did, but like literally cutting her arm and then ripping it off of her fucking body, it's just like, okay, you went above and beyond.

You've gone into full blown, like this is wackadoo territory. What's the Peter Jackson movie we did that was like super, super, super gory? Oh, Dead or Alive. Yeah, it feels like that in a lot of ways, yeah. Her flappy arm is so good though. And she's crawling across the floor. It's like just seeing a woman with most of her face removed, her scalp removed and a flappy arm. Zookier, that's your thing. Crawling across the floor. It's your favorite.

What? It's not my thing. You know how I live in fear. Oh God. What if that's your thing? Oh, it's, oh my God. It's, and he like grabs her like pinky and ring finger and index and middle finger and then just rips her hand apart. And I was like, so he's super human. He's super human, right?

This is his magic. Yeah. It's super human. Right. This is his magic. Yeah. Um, it's, it's really gross. Yeah. But she's a, she's trying to answer the phone. Yeah. She's alive and conscious. It's it's kind of crazy to see all of these horrible things happen to her. And she's just like, ah, I'm going to pay my taxes now. I never finished filing my 10 40.

This is bathing suit. make me look chocolate? I feel like I've really turned into Cathy as I've aged. It fucking sucks, dude. It's fine, I've turned into Ziggy. I'm just always at the complaints department. At one point when she's being attacked, we get a closeup on a room decoration sign of the word blessed in a cursive. And I was like, yes, I knew she was a multi-level marketing hun.

There's another one that says dream and I was like, Oh, I don't like Allie anymore. I thought I liked her and I don't like her. I don't like these like demanding signs that people have on their live, laugh, love, go fuck yourself. demanding signs that people have on their live, laugh, love, go fuck yourself. Suck it. You make me think that you do none of those things by having those signs in your house.

Laugh, love, Eleanor Roosevelt. Maybe I should be sexy Eleanor Roosevelt. She was kind of sexy. Yeah. Yeah. She had it going on. Nah, that's not as funny. I feel like you need a, well, what are you gonna wear for a Nancy Reagan outfit? I'm gonna, well, I'm not really gonna do this, but maybe next year. I would get like a pants suit. No, a skirt suit, skirt suit, right, of course a skirt suit. And then like those really shiny nude hose.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would cut the skirt suit into like a mega mini, like super, super mini and really high heels. And then I just get a Nancy Reagan wig. Sure. And I'll just tape my tits again. You can get an old, you know. I'm sorry, what are we doing to our tits?

I'm gonna tape them in place so that I can have them coming through a jacket. Elvira style. Yeah. Me as a child thought boobs just did that on their own. Well, how disappointing for you. I'm fine with it either way. Tits be tits, tits are tits.

Ah, so while she's crawling across the floor, he goes and finds a bottle of bleach and a container of Morton's salt, pours it all over her and then rips her face off. Dude, he's a little bitch. He's so fucking mean. I remember that being my complaint about the first movie now. So mean.

Is this how you get your rocks off art? What are you doing here, buddy? Yeah, I mean, we never get his motivation. No, Rob Zombie's gonna do an origin story where he's raised by some mean parents, and that's how he turned out, but he likes Kiss. Remember how I once argued that that movie was actually kind of good actually. And then I watched it again and I realized how wrong I was.

What if I took all the joy out of the Halloween franchise? Yeah, well, not everyone gets joy out of it, you know, right? So Ali's mom comes home. Yeah. And finds her daughter. This is so upsetting. Like imagine this moment. I love this thing of like her seeing her daughter

obviously dead and murdered on a bed. And then she's not breathes and turns towards her mother. Says mom. Yeah. With like her jaw hanging halfway off. And the mom is a shit actor. Yeah and art is like carving off pieces of Ali. Yeah. With like her jaw hanging halfway off. And, and the mom is a shit actor. Yeah. And art is like carving off pieces of Allie. Yeah.

Like she's a turkey. Yeah. He has her just sitting with like her legs straight out in front of her on a bed and he's just playing with her. Like she's a marionette. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. Cut to the clurb where we're all family. Now everybody's here and you find me in the club. Well, it's just a Brooke and Sienna and Jeff.

Well, yes, Jeff. Which sounds like a weak ejaculation. weak ejaculation. And Jeff, just let the idea of sounding like a weak ejaculation. I bet we have a lot of Jeffs who listen to this show. Sure. And I hope they would laugh at that joke. I hope so. Jeff, that's for you. So they're dancing and, and Sienna's dancing like a little, a little head, just losing her mind, just having such a good time. And I was like, oh shit, they took Molly.

Oh yes, clearly they're on Molly, yes. Also before this, she has an argument with her mom about her costume, because she's like, I made it from daddy's sketch. And her mom goes, when did Halloween become synonymous with sex? Lady, you're not that old. No, you would get that it's funny to be a sexy Nancy Reagan.

Yeah. I'm going to go, mom is probably your age. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. She's somewhere between you and me for sure. Yeah. Not a dried up old bitch. Anyway, go on.

You mean like me? Right. I would never say that about myself. Oh, God. Look at this dried up old bitch I do a podcast with. Oh, God. I'm a husk of a woman. Me too.

So they're at the club. I'm like, I'm going to go to the club. I'm going to go to the club. I'm going to go to the club. I'm going to podcast. Oh God, I'm a husk of a woman. Me too. So they're at the club. Brooke orders a vodka Coke. Is that a thing? I don't think so. No, I hope not.

That doesn't sound like it would taste good together. No. Little orange juice maybe. Vodka Sprite. Little straight. Just straight vodka. Yeah, a. Vodka Sprite. Little straight. Just straight vodka? Yeah, a little in a coffee cup. You're doing some weird dad stuff right now, are you?

So we get cut in with the clurb stuff, because they can't get a hold of Allie, because she's dead as we all know. As we know. We cut back to their house. Trick or treaters come to the door. Art opens the door with a candy bowl. What's the candy bowl made out of?

It's mom's head. It's mom's head. It's mom's head. And the child, the children are picking candy out of it and there's blood all over it and the mom's like, just take it. But in your bag, it's just candy. My God. Why is it sticky?

It's fake blood. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. This movie is sick of parenting. I'll tell you that much. Oh, yo, yo. Yeah. This movie is sick of parenting. I'll tell you that much. Oh, yeah.

So this, I wrote a note that just says alert. This film is now halfway over my God. I paused it when it was like I was an hour into it and I paused it and I went, Jesus Christ, there's a whole other movie. Yes. How far are we into this episode? We have to wrap it up. Oh, just 54 minutes. Oh my God. So Jonathan's playing with a sword in his sister's room. Mom calls his mama bitch. She smacks the shit out of him. He's not making it easy for her. No. Yeah. But also they all did just lose the father. Yeah. So they're all mourning in their own fucked up ways. Sure, and daddy's dead. So he runs out of the house,

and Sienna's getting drunk on Molly. And mom goes into the garage and sees that someone has trashed her car in the garage and written bitch in shaving cream, and just smashed a pumpkin on the hood. Oh, don't forget, she also took her meds with wine before she went into the garage, I mean whom amongst us. Whom amongst us.

So, uh, Sienna finds out that her friend dosed her with Molly. Don't dose your fucking friends. Especially if they have a mental health condition and they're taking medication of their own. Don't, don't, don't prescribe them things. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh, Jonathan's still running and he has a Keanu Reeves ask her on. It's very adorable. That's what I mean about him being hard to watch. He's just a gangly team.

Yeah. Yeah. He's got bad cardio too. He has to like stop and breathe. Yeah. Yeah. Sick girl. The van is to stop and breathe.

Stop and breathe. Don't we all? I would hope that if I was running for my very existence, I could just keep going. There'd be a lot of you bent over one hand on one knee and the other hand just holding up one finger. Hold on. Hold on a second. Single finger.

Jason, Michael, whomever. Relax. The van honks at him because art is not worried about garnering attention. No, no, no. Oh my God. Jonathan investigates the van cause that's what you do. Right? Of course. Well, I think he sees the little girl in the van maybe. And he has the same girl he saw at his school who was with art, the clown. So of course he would get closer to the van. Yeah. Yeah.

Jonathan deserves everything he gets. Yeah. And more. Mom's in there cleaning up the car. I was like, you must force him to clean that up. Like why the fuck are you doing that? I think she was doing it so she could drive out and hit him with the car. Oh, that I can get.

Then just clean the windows. Just clean the windows. She calls Sienna and is like talking to her like she's her co-parent. Yeah. Sucks. And then she's like, Oh wait, you're out drunk. Go have a good time.

I'm sorry. Yeah. How old is Sienna? 2035. She's 30 IRL. Okay. But I don't know how old she is in the movie. I think she's in junior college.

I can't imagine having passed for being in junior college when I was 30. I already looked old as fuck. Hey, kids still smoke though. That's cool. Is it? Yeah. No. Oh, no.

Katie. What? Katie. What? One cigarette equals cancer. We all know this. Okay. Kids. I, you know, make your own choices.

You live with them. You make your choices and you live with them. Sure. That's what I'm saying. And you don't throw a fit. You don't throw a fit. You get what you get. You don't throw a fit.

Clown shoots mom in the head, which is fine, I guess, but gun violence just isn't my kind of horror. I do like that mom's head, her face flops open like fucking JFK's head. Damn Alan, you went there. See, I don't think that happened either. I don't think JFK ever existed. He was a hologram. Wait, but then we'd lose that whole fucking Misfits song. Yeah, you're right about that. Texas is the reason that the presidents did.

And then that resulting band, Emo band of the nineties, Texas is the reason. Who claimed that's not where they got their name from. And it's like, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, got, gotmo band of the nineties, Texas is the reason. Who claimed that's not where they got their name from. And it's like, got you guys. They did. Idiots. Idiots. Oh, so mom's dead. Jonathan runs home, finds mom at the dining room table.

Art brings in a crock pot filled with mashed potatoes. Did he make mashed potatoes? I think so, yeah. Cause it doesn't seem like mom was up for cooking that night. And then hilariously jams mashed potatoes into her open face. It's very gross. It's so disgusting.

He takes the time to mush her back together. He takes a lot of risks, does Earth the Clown. Sure. He also has like a comically large syringe. What's he doing with that comically large syringe? He's gonna stab little Jonathan with it. And watching Terrifier 1, he does stab somebody with a comically large syringe in that movie as well.

All right, all right. It's his jam. Oh my God. So Sienna's gonna get a ride home. With, yeah, with the boyfriend. Yes, with Jeff and Brooke. But she gets a call from Jonathan that he's at the old carnival.

Does every town have an old carnival? I don't think that's all carnivals leave, right? Isn't that what carnivals do? And honestly, the fucking, the haunted house in there would put Hell House to shame. They would have been so jealous. Dude, that haunted house, I was like, oh my God, I want to watch the guest right now.

Yes. But it's the demon girl, as the subtitles told me that it's calling her. Oh really? Oh, that's a bit of a spoiler, huh? Because then we get cut to the demon girl as they're riding in the car. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brooke is being really mean to Sienna for having had a panic attack. Sure. Despite having dosed her. Well, she's not a good friend. No, she's not a good friend. She's being awful to her.

And then when Sienna gets out of the car at the carnival to find her brother that she does not go help her find, she explains to J Jeff what happened, which is that Sienna's dad got a giant brain tumor, which made him do fucked up shit. He got abusive, especially towards Sienna. And then he drank a bottle of Jack, drove into a transformer and burned to death.

Yeah. Maybe help her, help her. No, she's trying to get fingered by Jeff in the fucking car, Katie. Oh man. Jeff who's wearing a t-shirt that says just the tip, I promise. With a kitchen knife covered in blood.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Brooke is a rank ass friend. They start doing key bumps. Yeah, why wouldn't you? It's good though, on the ride there, she's being a real bitch and the boyfriend's being like, come on, well I'll take her to the carnival, it's fine. She'll be, though, on the ride there, she's being a real bitch and the boyfriend's being like, come on, well, I'll take her to the carnival.

It's fine. She'll be, well, I'll take her home. It's okay. And then all of a sudden he's like, key bumps and fucking. Fucking teens. So Jeff goes out of the car to go take a pee and peeing with a hard on is not as easy as one might think.

It's like- Yeah, I thought it like shut off that valve so that you couldn't pee when you had a bar. No, you can't. It just goes in wild directions. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's like a wacky waving arm thing. Why did I think that there was like a shutoff valve?

I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I don't know anything. I like the idea of it being a valve. Hold on, honey. I thought only one could come out. I don't know anything. I like the idea of it being a valve. Hold on, honey. I thought only one could come out. I don't know what I thought. I don't know what I thought.

That's like a cloaca. Just everything comes out at once. Well, yeah, for men. Cloaca for men. So Art stabs him in the dick a bunch and pulls his dick off and then rubs his dick on the window while staring at Brooke. We get a full close up on Jeff's piss too,

which you just love to see it. Who doesn't? Also, while this is going on, we get a shot of the little girl just poltergeisting her face in the mirror. Why is she doing this now? No idea. Okay, okay, okay.

Just for spooky times. Yeah. They were like, you know, we got a little bit of time in this movie, let's fuck around a bit and see what happens. So much time. But yeah, he breaks the window and drags Brooke out of the car.

Yeah. And she kicks him right in the grill, which is the first time we've seen him get hit. I appreciated that. And then shakes her shoes off. Makes perfect sense, you can't run on those heels. Look, if you can't sprint in them, don't wear them. It's true.

No second location, can't sprint in them, don't wear them. It's true. No second location. You can't sprint in them, don't wear them. Don't wear them. I've seen plenty of videos in people who can sprint in high heels. Oh, I can sprint in high heels. Oh yeah. That's why I can wear them. If you can't sprint in them, you don't wear them.

No, no. Fucked up. Art's really fucked up with his bathroom, I'll tell you what, he's been having a heck of a time. Plenty of time on his hands. He's magical. So there's a bathroom in which he has justenty of time on his hands. He's magical. So there's a bathroom in which he has just smeared blood literally everywhere. Yeah.

Whose blood is it? Everybody's? Brooke's. Oh. Yeah, because we find Brooke on the floor with like all of her opens open. Well. Her chest is open. Yeah, you're right.

Because he roots around in her body like a person pulls her heart out. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of good blood inside that chest cavity. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's right. He had like a wood block made with it. He had like put nails and I think a fork in. It's like a table leg and drove a steak knife into it. Okay. Like, yeah, it would really fuck you up.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sienna, Sienna's phone is busted. Yep. She can't make any phone calls. She finds Brooke's body. So that's going to be great for her mental health. Art gets, or Jonathan gets slashed across the face by Art. So he spends the rest of the movie with just holding his hand to his face.

It's very awkward. I like that Art is silent. Even when stabbed, he like screams, but nothing comes out. I think it's really fun. It's so cool. He's doing the like, he's stabbing Jonathan and then like silently laughing and doing the like boo hoo face with like, like he's rubbing his eyes. So good.

Such a piece of shit. I love this church scene that's in the haunted house. Yeah, it's good. It's spooky. Durblins hanging out. Yeah. People in robes. Yeah. But like nobody would really be in those robes. Also this haunted house is fucking massive. It's huge.

It's the entirety of the carnival. There's like a fucking Himalaya in this. And why is it closed on Halloween? I don't know. It's the old abandoned carnival. So Jonathan says to Sienna, they used me to get you here. They need you for a reason.

It's what daddy saw. You're the only one who can stop them. Right, because daddy had drawn a picture of daddy's daughter holding a devil's head in her angel warrior costume. This is dumb as hell. Yeah. This bit is dumb as hell.

Listen, if I'm drawing a costume for my daughter, she's going to look smoking hot in it. Yeah. She's going to be fucking taped up titties. You have a little cheek shelf in the back. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She's gonna have to use body glide so she doesn't shave.

You know what I mean? It's a bit insane that the main confrontation, like the main physical confrontation begins with 30 plus minutes left in the movie. It's just too much. It's too much. So there's some fighting, there's some shooting, there's fucking stabbing the clown and the head with a piece of fucking rebar. Yeah. He's hitting them a lot with a chain, which is a cool weapon.

Oh, it's like, it's like the whip thing that has like scalpels and scissors tied in. Cause he gets it in the face at one point and just has like skizzers stuck out like scalpels and scissors tied into it. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Because he gets it in the face at one point and just has like, skizzers stuck out of his face. Yeah, you're right about that. She's, you know, getting beaten while wearing wings and protecting her little brother. There's something in that.

I'm sure that's a something. Like an angel Gabriel over here. Damn, really. Jonathan shoots, yeah, Jonathan shoots Art. Art does the hands up gesture first of like, don't shoot, which is okay. Because he has a tiny sawed off shotgun and his ankle like holster. He sure does. What's weird about him is that you can always see the real skin of his like hands and his

ankle and stuff. It's very strange. It's a very unnerving. And then there's like this, this, this whole thing of, um, well we get a scene of like the little demon girl pretending to be her mom. Right. And then there's this, the whole thing with this like lit up carnival mirror hole in the floor. Yeah. Like a portal of some kind. That she falls into.

He stabs her, yeah, she falls in. Yeah, and then she's in like a popcorn maker filled with water. Yes, she is. She's tethered by her ankle. By like a tentacle. Yes, and the Dream Teens, Dream Teens? Oh.

That startup band called Dream Teens. Yeah. Oh my God, I'm done with Boy Town or Boy Zone or whatever the fuck it was. Just all cheap trick covers, let's fucking go. Oh my God. I I'm done with boy town or boy zone or whatever the fuck it was. Just all cheap trick covers. Let's fucking dream teens. I can't think of a single cheap trick song. I want you to want me. Uh, I want you to want me. All right. That's good enough. Choose enough. Choose enough. Look, dream teams aren't going to be around forever.

We have to keep replacing them. They're all bloody. They're still set on fire. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, you get a lot of fire walks. It's nice. Fire swing. Sienna drowns. We get a close up on her belly button of her blood, like mixing with the water. It's very lascivious. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It's like sexy Jesus. Yeah. She's got a little, little spear of lung in his stab wound. There you go. Wonder if Jeff has died from his dick wounds yet. I hope so. Yeah, me too. I wonder if he's grabbed his dick

and is now just hobbling to a hospital, like John Wayne Bobbitt style. Oh, that guy had it coming. Yeah, piece of shit. Yeah. So yeah, she, like the sword, like gives her He-Man powers or something. Yeah, it's magical and glows and she wakes up and she pulls herself out and swims up.

Yeah. And art's eating her brother when she comes up out of the hole. He's not necessarily eating her. He's just kind of gnawing on his ankle like a little angry corgi. Yeah, she stabs him with a sword sword hacks at his neck, cuts his throat. And then he nods yes to her for her to cut his head off. Like leans to the sides. She had a good shot on his head. Why does he do that? I will explain all.

Oh my God. So don't put the explanation to your movie in a part that people aren't sure to see. And so then the little girl shows up as if this movie could not end. It's got more endings and Lord of the fucking ring. Yeah. Clue. She picks up the head and pretends he's whispering to her. And then her eyes glow yellow and then she just walks away. I have a note that says, what a wild movie to have a child in. Honestly, her mom was on set. You know what I mean? Like that's messed up.

Just yelling, look at me, look at me. Yeah. Yeah. That's spooky thunder. Oh, is it? Yeah. It's spooky thunder. So the credits start rolling. And I got up and got ready for work. Ran away, cut to a psych hospital. Oh, wait, okay. There's a nurse. There's a security guard orderly, played by Chris Jericho.

Oh my God, okay. Who's watching Plan 9 from outer space. And he's brought in some treats, because it's Halloween. His wife made zombie brain dip. Ooh, what's that? It just looks like this gross jelly mold. Oh, okay.

So, um, Victoria is in her cell. She's the woman who had the mangled face and so she's in her psych ward cell and she's writing swear words on the wall, like a C bomb and whore and all this stuff out of blood that's pouring out of her lady parts. Okay. So then she starts pulling something out of herself. Oh my God. Okay. And it looks like intestines, maybe, maybe hot dogs on the outside. Yeah. It's an umbilical cord because she gives birth to, oh, she also,

within the swear words, she drew a heart and wrote Vicky plus art. And so she has pulled out this baby that she's giving birth to. So when the cord doesn't come out first, that's a real problem. You got to pull it out. Okay. It's, it's, we're talking about the baby. We used to play, you play tug of war with the baby, right? Yeah. And no one's going to spank my bottom. I eat my pee. You know, they eat their pee. I eat your pee too. No, that's not how it works. I'm a piss baby. They are piss babies.

It's incredible. These are amazing things. The nurse comes to check in on her and sees that she's covered in blood and laying on the floor and licking something clean. Okay. Her baby is art's head. Oh my God. All right.

I don't know what to say about that. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. something clean. Okay. Her baby is art's head. Oh my God. All right. I don't know what to say about that except for all right. The end. The end. Katie. Alan. We are an hour and 11 minutes into this, someone a bitch. Okay. Tell me your thoughts on God and terrifier two. God's dead. Terrifier two was more enjoyable than I expected.

Yeah. I enjoyed it. I thought it was gross and goofy and fun. I really think the entire dream sequence could have been cut. Sure. And a lot of just nonsense. Like there's no reason for this to have been more

than an hour 45. And I hate to harp on that, but I hadn't seen this movie yet because I couldn't make the time. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm glad I pushed you into it Yeah, I mean sure I had to get up at the ass crack of dawn today to finish it But yeah, thank you Alan. Thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone Which is my bed when it's dark in the morning. That's what I'm here for, dog. Thank you, you are so helpful. I'm gonna give this a six and a half. I enjoyed it. I don't necessarily need to see it again, but I would.

You know, how about you? I'm gonna give it an eight. Holy fuck, Alan. I feel like such a sleazo, but I fucking really enjoy these movies. That's great. Do you remember, I mean, I know you just watched the first one again, but did you like it when we, you saw it the first time?

I think so, but I think it was also really grossed out. Yeah. It's a meaner movie than this one for sure. Yeah, this has a much lighter element to it. Which is ridiculous. It's insane to say. But I think like, I think art is, is like the 2020 Jason or Michael Myers.

He's like the killer we deserve right now. Yeah, I think you're right about that. I also feel like this movie is very like, in a weird way, like TikTok-able. Like you could just pull scenes out of it and they would work perfectly as these little vignettes. Yeah, yeah, you're right about that. But I'm pretty sure you would get thrown off of TikTok if you put any of them on

there. But it's got that kind of vibe to it of like, it's like, I don't know, I feel like you could have this movie on at a party in the background. It would last the entirety of the party. Yeah. I'll be in bed before this is over. But yeah, I really, really liked it. And I'm excited to see Terrifier 3 when it comes to me being able to watch it at home. Yeah. I, yeah, I watched the trailer, which is also just like a series of

vignettes. There's no plot that's outlined in the trailer, but he's wearing a Santa suit. So here we are. Apparently there were complaints about terrifier, not having a plot of just being like kill after kill after kill. The first one. Yeah. Yeah. So he like took that heart with this movie and gave it a plot of just being like kill after kill after kill. The first one. Yeah. Yeah. So he like took that heart with this movie and gave it a plot, but it's not one any of us could decipher. Like the timeline doesn't seem to match up to anything.

The dad. The dad. The daddy. The ghost girl that some people can see. I don't know. I don't, why did their dad foresee this? Brain tumor. Or again, is their dad or the clown?

He's not, he's not, cause art's magic. Yeah, but I liked this movie a lot better than the first one. Yeah. But I still enjoyed the first one for all of its grossness. Good, eight. Yeah, I really liked it. This was the second time I watched it and I really liked it.

So I'm like, what, five hours into this, watching this movie. Yeah, great work. You really, when you dedicate yourself to something, you really commit. Speaking of dedication, happy fucking 10 years. Happy 10 years. I can't believe it.

Oh my God. Who would have thunk? Not me. I can't believe I'm still doing this. It's fun though. When it stops being fun, we'll stop doing it. Becomes such an important part of my life. Oh my God, yeah.

I couldn't imagine not doing this. Yeah, it's great. It's so good. You wanna do it again next week? I do wanna do it again next week. What should we do next week? We should do a movie of your choosing. Okay, like I already regret it, but not that much.

So Katie was like, I bet we both like Terrifier, even if I didn't like it as much as Alan did. So let's pick a movie that we're both definitely gonna hate. I thought maybe we could get back into the Insidious franchise. We've done only one of them. So let's jump into the final one. Yeah, you say final, most recent. We thought that there was Insidious 1, Insidious 2,

and then Insidious the Red Door. My friends, this is wrong. This is the fifth or sixth movie that we're doing. I think it's the fifth. Okay. I think there's one, two, three, the last key. Ooh. Suck it, James Wan.

Suck my flaps. Red Door. Darth Maul's probably behind it. I'm sure, and I can't wait. And we're gonna be mad, and we're gonna yell, and I think that'll be fun for both of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, happy Halloween, everybody, it's Halloween.

It's a Halloween, holla, holla, week, holla, holla, holla week. Holla, holla, holla, Halloween. Lightning. I know, dude. It's getting spooky up here. I'm bummed that Halloween's not on a weekend. You know, I love it when Halloween falls on a weekend. Some bullshit that it's a Thursday. Me and the ghetto boys out

trick or treating you and the ghetto boys. Hey, you want to Halloween parade tomorrow? I think so. Okay, let's go. I'm just trying to see you there. Yeah, I'll be there. Of course. Of course. It's my favorite fucking day of the year. Uh, all right. So this is a two and a half hours long, so I think we can stop now. Let's be done. Uh, thank you so much for supporting us for 10 years, even if you just been listening for a week. That's support as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. And if you want to support us financially, you can go to patreon.com backslash world ambulance. We've done a ton of action movies. We're going to do a ton more. Uh, if you'd like to support

us by wearing t-shirts, go to T-Public and search Werewolf Ambulance. You will find us there. I'm very excited for our Christmas bonanza. Oh, you guys, you're gonna be so excited. Holiday season is gonna be so big. We're gonna get a new low hand movie. We're gonna do so much.

I forgot, can we have Vicki back to do the low hand movie? Thank you. So we love you all. Love you guys. Happy, happy, happy most wonderful time of the yearohan movie, thank you. So we love you all. Love you guys. Happy, happy, happy most wonderful time of the year. Katie, I love you. Al and I love you. And yeah, just be radical to each other.

Have a great Halloween. Eat tons of candy. Watch horror movies. Toilet paper that dickhead down the street's house. Yeah, the one with the Trump signs. You know, you know. You know which one. I didn't have to say it. I didn't have to say it. We, you know. You know which one. But I didn't have to say it.

I didn't have to say it. We know what you're talking about. We know what you're talking about. Well, let's just not say his name anymore. Okay. Fuck that guy. Uh, thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance.

Bye. Yeah, happy Halloween. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

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