Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 498- Insidious: The Red Door (2023)

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

In this week's episode, we're hitting the late-stage Insidious franchise with the fifth entry, "Insidious: The Red Door." Did we see Insidious 2, 3 or 4? No, we did not. That's the Werewolf Ambulance way. Special topics for your consideration include: some real daddy issues, dumdum demons, rude teachers, Dalton's brother, Dalton's sister, and the bad news about Tiny Tim. We have covered exactly one other "Insidious" film, but at least it was the first one. It's Episode 303. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. It's a kung fu month!   leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.   

Happy post-Halloween everyone. Happy post-Halloween. I know it's a letdown, but here we are. Here we are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real quick, right at the beginning, I would like to encourage you to go out and vote. Go fucking vote.

If for nothing else, women's healthcare is on the docket and as someone who has benefited greatly from women's healthcare. Oh my God, Alan. I love a man being like, look, I've had some good abortions. I'm just saying. I think it's a very good, I have, I think it's a very good political play, but also fucking men. I know, but it's like, it seems like the only way to get third amendment is to be like, fuck dudes too. Yeah, that's true. So it affects dudes too. And there you go, it affects dudes too.

So just do it. Yeah. Just fucking do it. Just get on the phone and vote, please. Don't pussyfoot around about it. Yeah. Yeah. Katie.

Alice. Speaking of pussyfooting. Oh my God. This is a film of your choosing. I did. I chose this because I knew I would hate it. And hated I did. The directorial because I knew I would hate it. And hate it, I did. The directorial debut of one Patrick Wilson. And it shows.

And that's PG-13, which is always an UG. Cause you know, it's not gonna be that good. Yeah. This is Insidious, The Red Door. The Red Door. Which is the fifth movie in the franchise, though it feels like it's the second. And I think it's the third in this storyline.

I feel like I missed nothing between one and five. Except for the like, dad going evil and beating the kids. I thought that happened in the first one. No, that happens in the second one, I think. You know. Okay, great. Right out of the gate, criminal under usage of Rose Byrne. I'm not a Rose Byrne fan.

I find her pinchy-faced and weird. She always just looks like she's so disapproving, and that's not my vibe. Oh, you don't like me, mine? Yeah, that's how you like them. You like them like moms. But I also think she's very funny. I think she has really good comedic timing.

Not in this. She doesn't have anything to do in this, except be like, hi, I'm here to support you. Yes, and also I've been keeping a massive secret from you for 10 years or nine years or something. Listen, everybody. Everybody. The way, I know we joke a lot about this,

but the way to get better is not to tamp down and erase from your memory. Ah, shit, I don't know, Alan. I mean, I guess this movie's message is that tamping it down is bad, but. I don't know. It'll come out in other ways, it turns out. No, the bottom drawer is so full of stuff.

Because you've pushed the bottom out of the bottom drawer and it's just all over the floor. All over the floor. But you know what? Just shove it under the dresser. Um, I watch this on Netflix. Sure. The cover art makes it look like it's a really dumb series, like a dumb Netflix original series. I just thought, God, what are you guys, how far have you fallen? I think it's just because I'm an old man, but the red door gives it like a, like, oh, this might be a sassy feel to it. Are you thinking of Red Shoe Diaries? Or Behind the Green Door, yes.

There you have it. There you have it. So this is Bloom House. Bloom House. This is James Wan, though he has very little to do with this film, I think he just produced it. It's a for song, Wan. Oh yeah, it's mostly our guy Lee Won-El.

Yeah, and Patrick Wilson. I believe Patrick Wilson had a hand in the shaping of this story as well. As you can tell by him being the thrust and main viewpoint of this film. I mean, Daddy Issues the film, right? Sure. I guess that it's trying to do a generational trauma thing,

but it really just feels like, oh, we all have daddy issues. But it's like, how can we express generational trauma, but like stupid. Yeah, but like in a way that doesn't have any real effect. Oh my God. My first note is I'm excited to see a Newsy and I was fucking let down by the end of the movie.

No Newsy's, a little bit of Tiny Tim, but no Newsy's. I had to continuously remind myself throughout this film that Patrick Wilson was not playing Ed Warren. You guys can't do this to me. Is this a prequel or is he leading a separate life where he is? I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I like the idea of him having another family where he's married to Vieta Famigia. The sister of the nun? Yes, the sister of the nun. God, these people are all up in the whanivers. Okay, so this movie opens on a metronome. And we're told that, not Ed Warren, Josh Lambert and his son Dalton.

And as soon as I heard the name Dalton, I was like, oh yeah, Dalton's brother. How mean we were about that. He's still playing Dalton's brother. You can name the kid you ignore Foster. It's not fair. They ignored the little girl far more in this. She gets bombed out of this movie.

I feel like they accidentally buried her with grandma in that first scene. There should have been a scene where Patrick Wilson turned around, picked her up and just kicked her right out of the movie. Right out. We're a two kid film family. We're going to write three in, but we're not going to ignore one in every movie. Exactly. So they, we learned that he and Dalton are ready to forget once and for all. Neither of you will remember the last year. And I was like, this child is like nine. What have he learned maths? He wakes up and he doesn't know how to divide. Oh my God. And then I, and then I remembered there was a coma. He had been in a coma.

So he's losing. Yeah. I mean, how much does he lose? I mean, I don't know. He was in a coma for a year. I think he, he, it's, the, the whole thing is like, you won't remember the coma, but like generally you don't anyway. Anyway, I don't know. Cut to, and they mentioned the further and I was immediately like, oh god, further. Every time there was like a word that triggered a memory of the first movie, I was like, ha ha!

Ha ha ha! So nine years later, we flash forward into the future. We are at Grandma's graveside, who in Grandma's argument looks to be the same age as Patrick Wolf. She sure does. And she, I think her name is also Lorraine, which was confusing me. Listen, there's a finite amount of names in the world. And there's only seven in these movies.

And one of them is Lorraine. So, yes, she is dead. And the little girl says, I miss grandma. And Rose Byrne says, she misses you too. And Dalton with his 90s haircut says, dead people don't miss anything. Dalton is at the grave site reading from the Bible in a pair of sweatpants and a jean shirt. It's just how Grandma would have wanted it. How do we make him a sulky teen?

Oh yes. He is so brooding. Oh my god. I hope I have a's so brooding. Oh my God. Oh. I hope I have a better funeral than this. Oh, for sure. Oh, thank you. You know I wanna make sure that happens.

I know, I know. Even if I have to do it from beyond the crib. Well, I just want a hot dog cart and a nacho cart. Vicky, I'm here to help Katie's funeral. She is so upset that she still doesn't know what I'm going to do and that so many other people do. Yeah. So we learned that Patrick Wilson is now a deadbeat dad. upset that she still doesn't know what I'm going to do and that so many other people do. So we learn that Patrick Wilson is now a deadbeat dad. Yeah. They've been, they've split up.

Seemingly forgetting a year has made him a drunk dick bag. I am confused by this. Like I wonder how, I guess they've been divorced a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I'm assuming since the end of the last movie when he attacked the family. Yeah. Although in that scene, it's only the two little boys. And I was like, but where's the daughter? And Rob was like, well, maybe she's not born yet.

And I was like, would you procreate with this man? I mean, I mean, You're shrugging at me. No, I wouldn't. I do not find him to be an attractive man. No, no. And I also don't find him to be compellingly scared in any of these scenes.

So he's a deadbeat dad now. He can't drive his kid to college. Rose Byrne is like, fuck you, I'll do it. Even though I'm caring for two other children. Why don't you drive her son to college? Oh no. Fuck him, Rose. Move her off.

Seriously, get a new dad for these kids. You're a good looking lady, even though you're pinchy faced and disapproving. But she's like, yeah, this is why I divorced you, Ed Warren. Yeah, piece of shit. Patrick Wilson runs up to a guy and is like, do I know you? And like, he's at your mom's funeral.

So probably, I mean, it's a good bet, yeah. And the guy's like, no. I'm Carl. And then I was like, do I know Carl? Carl is the man who hypnotized him at the beginning of the film. Yeah, I caught that. He's got a sick ride.

I don't remember what it is. I think it was like a teal Geo Metro with like six floors on it, just bouncing down the road. Oh, I do like the scene of, um, uh, oh, I guess that's a little bit later when he's in the car and, um, he's like texting his son to be like, Hey, can I be your dad again? And the kids like, I guess dog time, there's like an it follows person coming up from behind the car.

Yes. In like what appears to be the clothing of the 1970s, just by the color. Yeah. The like baby poop, baby shit and mustard, baby shit and mustard. But then it's gone. But he's also like watching this video of himself talking to Dalton as a baby, like laughing at how clever he is with the baby. Like I do not give a fuck. We get the opening credits. It's all children's art because obviously so, so crucial, so crucial. Yeah. We get the opening credits. It's all children's art because obviously so crucial.

So crucial. So crucial. Yeah. It's like a progression of children's art. The children's art gets better over the years because Dalton is art and art is Dalton. I mean, it's in his blood. It's who he is.

It's his DNA. We get them driving to college with a roll with the changes. Like don't fucking use this song. This song rules. Don't taint it with your trash. Missy said, what year is this supposed to take place? And I was like, I think like current day. And she's like, why the fuck are they listening

to Aria Speedbang? Because this song rules. Tell Missy I have this on at least four Spotify playlists. And I was like, when was the last time you listened to Aria Speedbang? And she's like, a month ago. Yeah, right. But it's just a weird choice for like, I was like, well, we need Dad Rock.

It's like, Dad Rock is now the Foo Fighter. So. Oh, fuck. Well, he's a lot of people's dads. But I'm. Ouch. Take that, David, girl. Yeah, well, you can't knock up other people.

It's just not a thing you should do. Kids. Kids. Use a rubber. I don't know. Oh Oh my God. Saying rubber feels so antiquated. Well, I'm old and I like REO Speedwagon. So we learned that Dalton has gotten an art teacher that he's really excited about. He's so stoked. I've written Armegadon, that cannot possibly be right. Yep, Armegadon. Okay. Her name is,

fuck did I get? Oh, it's Armagan. You're so close. I'm going with Armegadon. She's the best. She's the best arts. Yeah, she is. We get to college, it's like that college quad scene.

I just like, everything in this movie is exactly what you think it's gonna be. Yeah. Yeah. And dad's wearing like the most stereotypical dad outfit. He's got a polo tucked into like long shorts that aren't cargo shorts, but long shorts and like hiking shoes. Men, long shorts make you look like a rectangle. Sure, yeah. Get those shorts

a little shorter. Above the knee, babies. Above the knee. It's much more flattering for you and it's much more exciting for me. Yeah, get those sly lights. Love those sly lights. His dad really wants him to join a fraternity, which is weird. Nothing about this kid says frat boy. Nothing. Yeah. He's so arty. He's not a joiner. No. No. He's drawing pictures of his grandma.

Yeah. We get Chekhov's generator that Rose Byrne has purchased for her child. And he's like, it's got a couple outlets. It's got USB and jumper cables, which are useless. And I paused the movie being like, why are jump our cables useless? Cause the kid doesn't have a car. Yeah, but somebody might. Yeah. And you might need to torture somebody all lethal weapon style. Oh my God. Put them on his nipples. Oh my God. Do you think I've seen lethal weapon?

Of course you haven't. Also, the implication is that the child has not spoken on this cross-country drive of several days. He couldn't talk to his dad over the volume at which his dad was listening to REO Speedwagon, which the R stands for rubber. Does it? Oh my gosh. It's so bad. It's so weird. We meet his roommate, Chris, who is like,

oh, you found a character I'm gonna love in this movie. Yeah, except she's a bit much. She's a little, yeah. It's like Chris was like, oh, this is my first friend. I'm gonna make friends with my first friend. I'm also so precocious. Oh, just the precocious. And she immediately talks to him

like she's known him forever. And he's off-putting. He's gross and weird. So kids, don't bring your melodica to school. You're not in the Hooters. Calm down. Counterpoint. What if you are in the Hooters?

Counterpoint. Everybody Google the Hooters right now. Yeah, give it a go. Give it a go. This is also where we get this shit about Patrick Wilson's dad, where he's like, I'm not as bad as my dad, so it could be worse that I've treated you poorly. And it's just like, fuck you, man.

Imagine being a child, and your father's response to, hey, dad, can you do better is, I'm better than my dad. OK. And luckily, I just never thought to ask my dad to do better. So what is so Chris, the precocious one is like, all right, we're going to tell funny facts about ourselves. And here's my funny fact. Now what's your funny fact? And it's similar in nature. It's like no different than her funny fact, as far as I can tell.

But it also gave me nightmares, because he eats dry oatmeal, dry packets of oatmeal. And then we see Patrick Wilson doing it later in the movie, and it's like not as charming as the movie thinks it is. You're just eating a bowl of dust. Yeah. I don't want this. Crunchy dust.

Motherfucker, heat up some water. Yeah, heat up some water. You can microwave that shit. Yeah, but don't, because then your bowl gets too warm. You know how I feel about microwaves. You're not in the pocket of the big microwave like I am. I mean, if you work in an office or something, I don't know, get an electric kettle.

That's what I have at work for oatmeal. I do. How am I going to reheat my Chinese food? Put it in the kettle. Pour some boiling water on it. Do whatever you need it to. Also, he's hanging up all of his paintings on his wall or some are paintings, some are like charcoal sketches.

Yeah. And the dad goes, guess I didn't make the wall, huh? I hate this man so much. I hate him too. And I think we're supposed to be sympathetic to him. And I don't know if this is because you and I have very serious daddy issues of our own, but go ahead. Oh, no, I was just going to say like, this isn't daddy issues. This guy's just a shit.

Yeah. Yeah, he is. Like he's just a ding dong, but not in like a harmless way. No, you're a bad dude. You're a harmful ding dong. Oh man. He says, I snag this. You're a harmful ding dong. Oh man. He says, I snag this for you and gives him the frat flyer. And the child says, no wonder mom divorced you,

which is a sick burn. I mean, that's gotta be like, that's the twisted knife, right? Like that just goes in and goes, oh. It does not seem to a phase him, no. He's like, whatever, go get some fucking pussy at the frat party then. Yeah.

So he plays Hooters, what's it called, a melodica? Yeah. He plays a little tune. She goes, wow, what is that? Even though it's just fucking nothing. It was like Paul's song. Yeah, Paul's song was catchy as fuck. From Hell House LLC.

Also they started filming on the last Hell House movie. I know, no emails, no calls. We have not gotten the call. I, listen, let's get the might of the EMTs behind this. They're just starting production. Get us in this fucking movie. Get on Twitter, X, Instagram, I don't know what the fuck, TikTok, get at Stephen Cognetti, even if he pronounces a Cognetti and that's wrong, and get us in this fucking movie.

We just need to walk through the background long enough to turn to the camera and be like, hey. Yeah, I don't want to speak. I just want to be an extra. The only line I possibly want is yelling, wassup at somebody. See, I feel like you're getting us further from our goal. You can write that into the script. I feel like you're getting us further from our goal.

Is the script finalized? Because we have some notes. Oh my gosh. For some reason I have an issue with dad being named Josh. And I feel like the Josh is like a young man's name. You have a number of friends. I just feel like in all movies that I've ever's name. Oh, you have a number of friends. I just feel like in all movies that I've ever seen with a Josh, it's been a youngster. Yeah, that's fair. But I guess Josh Brolin exists. So why not as well get over myself?

I feel like Katie is often a name given to small children. Yeah. Whereas no one names a child Katie anymore. No. You had to have been born between 1980 and 1986. Yeah. It's like no one's rocking with a lot of Allens anymore either. Yeah. What's up with that?

I guess they're too busy being Kinsenzie and... Kinsenzie? Aydenton. Sure, sure. And Anikins and... Oh yeah. Bilbo. So we go to art class with Dalton. I think dad gives a call and he's like,

hey, I'm sorry, I am actually a piece of shit. And I'm sorry for being a piece of shit. with Dalton. I think Dad gives a call and he's like, hey, I'm sorry, I am actually a piece of shit and I'm sorry for being a piece of shit. Does he say that? He makes it about, he does like the hey bud message where he's like, hey bud, just thinking about, like such a fucking jag off, he doesn't really even say he's sorry.

He makes it about him because he's a shitstein. It's the I'm sorry if you're offended. Like line up. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So we meet Professor Megadon. And the way that she runs the class is like,

throw me up a piece of art that you think is your greatest work. Yeah. And now rip it up. She's like, I'm a bitch and very critical of your work. Now tear it up. She must have fucking tenure. Cause I feel like parents are gonna complain.

So the one kid refuses to rip it up, and she's like, well, you're out of my class. And he's like, well, I'm not leaving. And she's like, you're gonna. She, yeah, you've already quit. Yeah. Yeah. And so Dalton rips up his art preemptively, and she's like, why would you rip up that masterpiece?

Because he's a fucking bootlicker. He's a bootlicking attention whore. That's why he does it. Our Megadon loves me. Where is our Megadon from? She is, um, of Europe. I see Europe. She's from a Europe. Um, my next note says, BRB going to eat some wings. So there's a lot of notes. I don't have. You're eating wings. I see, I see.

Are you watching the latest season of Bake Off? No. Oh, okay. There's a guy on there who has all of the accents. He was like, lived in Australia and England and he's Dutch. So he just like, his accent is everything all at once. That's our Megadon?

Yeah, yeah, she's kind of got that flavor. Okay, so tell me what happens next, because my next note picks up quite a while later in the film. So he destroys his drawing, and then our Megadon's like, OK, so we're going to start working on things, and we're going to do it by me counting backwards from 10. You know, like hypnotism. Why?

Yeah, why? OK. So she hypnotizes the class, and Dalton starts drawing a door. Is it going to be class and Dalton starts drawing a door. Is it going to be red? Because I bet that's... It's a titular door. It's a titular door.

And then the demon fucking Darth Maul comes out and smacks his hand and makes him bloody. How has this not gotten any better since that first movie? This character, it looks shit. They're doing the same scares with it. Like it didn't scare me the first time he popped up behind Patrick Wilson. It's not gonna scare me this time.

No, and it looks as fucking janky as it did then. I don't get it. It's not a good character design. No. It's gotta be something like, like the writer saw this when they were a kid and it freaked them out. For sure. They saw Star this when they were a kid and it freaked them out. For sure.

They saw Star Wars when they were too young and it freaked them out. I don't know what that means. Cause Darth Maul is in Star Wars. Yeah, no, I guess I do know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what Darth Maul looks like. He's red, yes?

Red and black, yeah, just like this demon man. I'm closing my eyes on all I'm getting is the insidious guy. Oh, so he remembers the red door. Yeah. The same time dad's getting an MRI to see what's wrong with him. Why he's a bad dad. Now this scene could be very scary.

We've all seen the descent. We've all felt that claustrophobia. Like how fucking scary that could be. MRIs are really stressful and frightening. This could be done well. It's not an MRI, but the scene where Reagan is getting the spinal tap in the exorcist. Like there's this medical shit

that can freak you the fuck out. Yes, and an MRI, you're in there a long time, it's loud and it's claustrophobic. The lights go off and he can't talk to the doctor anymore. This is really scary, but he just keeps going, Dr. Brower, Dr. Brower, Dr. Brower, Dr. Brower, Dr. Brower, Dr. Brower, or whatever the guy's name is. You got it. Did I get it? And it doesn't, it never leads to anything that's scary because the only thing that happens

is that a person in a hospital gown comes skittering through the MRI machine. The very long MRI machine. Now I have a question. Also Dr. Brower says there's someone in with you. Yeah. That wasn't Dr. Brower's voice though. Even though the subtitle said it was Dr. Brower, which was pissing me off. What was your question?

Oh, okay. This is an, this is like a big question. Okay. The further is a ghost world that runs parallel to our world, like a la perhaps the sixth sense, where they just can see dead people? I mean, it seems to be like almost like a multiverse where it's bumping up against our world.

Right, because in the frat house, he sees the kid who died in that bathroom, in that bathroom, a la Misha Barton, puking her little brains out in the sixth sense. No, no movie has ever done anything close to this, but this is totally original. So did someone die in that MRI machine? Sure.

Okay. Thank you. Yes. And Patrick Wilson's career, hopefully. I don't know. Wow. You hate the man. I just, they like, he keeps being in these movies. Yeah. I'm sure it's a great living for him. Sure. But it's like, he's getting to be like

Sherry moon zombie levels of like, are these the only people who will hire you? Yeah, he was in that Stephen King adaptation we saw, right? Was it the tall grass? Oh, was he in that? Or was it Joe Hill? Maybe that was Joe Hill, I can't remember who wrote that. I think that story is actually written

by both Joe Hill and Stephen King. Well, see, I'm right about everything. Yeah, I say that all the time. So yeah, he's bugging out in the MRI and then the doctor comes in and is like, dog, you've been asleep for like 15 minutes, so just let you have a little nappy nap. Yeah.

The doctor is very sweet, but also says like, is there a family history of mental illness? Shouldn't that be on his fucking intake form? Could you take a peep through his file, baby? You gotta fill out like those fucking 13 pages of questions before you go see your doctor. They're like, do you have a hangnail? You're like, let me check.

Oh. Also the idea of getting your MRI results right there, no baby, it takes forever. Also, what if shitty dad was like diagnosis? You're, ah, let me see here. It looks like you're an asshole. Hey, have you been ignoring your children for the last nine years? Seriously. Stuff going on.

I'm just been really foggy, but there's nothing wrong with his brain. No, no lesions, no tumors. No. No. Yeah. So why don't you try doing like a memory game to see if it can trigger anything. Oh, you want me to play a kid's game?

Yeah, he's so mean to Dr. Brower, who's just out here doing his best. You can learn a lot from kids. He's right. Mm-hmm. Like... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha series or was a YouTube or something about just a decapitated head in a toilet that just keeps saying skibbidy I think they were all explaining it to me at once. Oh, and then I was like, Oh yeah, I got that.

So they're basically if every tab open in a browser started talking at once to Oh yeah, that's what coaching children is like. Yeah. So you pretty in discivity toilet. I'm pretty in discivity toilet. I think. Is that okay? I don't know if that's good or bad. It sounds like a nightmare.

Yeah. I was like, what do you mean decapitated? And they're like, well, you can't, it doesn't have a body. And I was like, is that, that's not the same as decay. If it's in the toilet, well, where is its body in the bowl? And they were just like, don't ask questions basically. You know, like a hardened terrifier too. Yeah, exactly.

Which we've all seen, cause we're children. Oh God, these are third through fifth grade girls. We go back to the dorm room and Dalton is moving blood around on his painting because it's still wet. Yeah. Because blood doesn't dry in this movie, I guess. Well, except when it's on your roommate's sheets,

which she never finds. Poor Chris. He just covers it up with a blanket, like, I'll just blame it on her. Yeah, it must have been you. Couldn't have been me. Oh, that's your menstruation hand, ma'am. I don't know what you're talking about.

Stop waving your pussy with your hand and then waving it on your sheets. Ma'am. That's disgusting. I'm sorry I said that. So he's got blood all over the room. There's blood on the light bulb. Yeah.

On the roommate's bed. Whose blood is this? His, from his palm. Oh, right, right light bulb. Yeah. Blood on the roommate's bed. Whose blood is this? His from his palm. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. And Chris gets a new room, cause she's like, yeah, you're right. We shouldn't be multi gendered roommates.

I thought we were cool, but you're not. So I'm gonna leave. So she goes, she moves directly above him. Which doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter for anything. No, just so she could say, I can hear you whacking off if you're whacking off. And he is not assigned a new roommate.

No. Which is like the fucking dream. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. If you can kick your Chris out and get a new roommate. Yeah. No, just not having a new roommate.

Having a single in a double room. So they go to the frat party. Chris convinces him to go to the frat party. Yeah. This is where we meet Nick the Dick. Nick the Dick. Okay. So I'm, I'll be picking up here soon. I'm still eating wings at this point. And I was like, Oh, we're going to get to see the students crank. This is going to be great. Yeah, we don't. We don't. We don't. So they go snooping. They're going to go peep around the rooms in the frat house. Cause Chris is just fucking there do well. She's out here just making mayhem. And they go into a room

and it's Nick's room. Right. And Nick has mentioned like, Hey, everybody watch how much you're drinking. We don't want another incident like we had last time with that kid. Yeah. And in this scene, I'm thinking, are they trying to make the only character of color that we've seen so far a thief? Because I would not like that. They're not though, I guess she's just Nebin. Yeah, she's just Nebin. She's just Nebin, yeah. Okay.

So they're in Nick's room and she leaves to go do something else somewhere else. I guess. And Dalton hears somebody retching in the bathroom. So of course he's gonna go peeping rather than just leave. Forever nebin. And there's a guy, a puking and it's a ghost. It is.

And he says, I don't remember. I didn't write it down, I was eating wings. This was a bad time to be eating wings also by the way. Yeah, cause the ghost, like they have some sort of interaction, which I also didn't write down and there were no wings. Oh, he says close the door. He says close the door. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. Because it comes up again later. And then for some reason he goes, Dalton goes and hides under the bed? Because someone is coming into the room. It's Nick and he's like practicing his lines that he's going to use on a girl. Oh, right. And he's getting like a Magnum condom or something. Right. And then drinking mouthwash, I think, or is that later in the movie?

That's dangerous drinking. We call that dangerous drinking in the drinking industry. And the ghost pukes on him to which I have a note that says, ha ha ha, the ghost pukes on him. This is where I came back. This is where my notes pick up again. I just wrote, Oh, Alan's going to be big mad about that puke. No, it was like, it was over the top enough that it didn't bother me.

It's like when people are like naturally puking that it's upsetting to me. Oh, okay. Yeah. Like the dry heaves and stuff like, do not like. Speaking of, I think my ribs finally healed. Oh, good. Yeah. Speaking of dry heaving until you're in pain.

Heavy puker. Heavy puker. So there's a, there's an altercation between Chris and Dalton and Nick because he catches them in his room and, uh, Chris kicks him in the deck and I was like, man, I love this character. Big fan of her. Yeah. Both assault and likely unwise, but it's fine. I'm happy she didn't. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Yeah. I mean she was, I mean they weren't wrong, but still fuck. Yeah. I mean they were in his room going through his shit. And then I have a note that says Dalton slips into the dream world or the

further or whatever. To which I wrote, is he a Freddy Krueger? Yes. Okay. So this movie, so I have this theory. Okay. Okay. Okay. This PG 13 horror film is for children. Sure. So it's like it's hitting every other horror film they're going to see if they get into horror movies. It's horror 101. Yeah. It's like you're going to get a Freddy. You're going to get a Sixth Sense. You're going to get a Star War. You're gonna get a Tiny Tim, who was a homophobe piece of shit. Was he? I didn't know that.

Yeah, he was a bad dude. Really, you wouldn't expect that. I know. Oh boy, it goes to show. Yeah, it does indeed. Can't judge a book. Without finding out if it's a homophobe piece of shit first. Go on.

So it's just like, it's touching upon everything. You might say ripping off these other franchises. You might say that. Yeah. And you'd be right when you would say that. You might say lazy writing. You might say trite and over done. You might say that. So in the further or the dream world or whatever, he goes up to his former dorm mates room and it's like pest around while she's sleeping. And her roommate is sleeping, who has nothing to do with this shit.

And he's like, oh, what if I just played your little Hooters melodica right now? And she's awake. She wakes up, finds the door open and he, she hears that tune again. I was like, I do not, I would not recognize that. It sounds like nothing. It's just something my mom wrote.

It's literally like, do, do, do. All right. Okey doke. It's not like he played the NBC chime. That was actually the NBC chimes that I think you did. It's not like he played the NBC chime. That was actually the NBC chimes that I think you did. It's not like he played a titty bell. Also he's wearing like a ripoff joy division t-shirt. Joy division was like, you may not use that.

It's an Australian band called no division. It's an Australian band called Noi Division. Mmm. Ah. See, when I say Australian, no, I say, gnar. Oh, he, so for me, I'm like, this guy is a wackadoo. She needs to make a new friend. It's early days for you here at JPU. Like the first person you make friends with in your dorm

does not have to be your friend forever. What's JPU stand for? JPU. Jordan Peterson University. No. Just poolin', just poolin' it. Just poopin'. Just poopin'.

Just poopin'. Just poopin'. Jerk please university. Jerk please, university. Jerk, jerk. Oh God, I've got nothing today. Jerk and pleasure? There you go, jerk and pleasure you. Jerk and pleasure you.

Jerk and pleasure you. Very nice. Mm-hmm. Look forward to that shirt in our T-public store. Christmas bonanza this year, baby. We get Patrick Wilson back at his mom's house. I guess he was living with his mom all these years. Okay.

After he got kicked out of his house. Yeah. I like that he never got his own place. Does he not have a job? Was his mom supporting him? Come on. He's such a fucking deadbeat. He's a teacher, he says at some point.

Oh, right, because she says you have time before your student, you have to get it, go. Maybe he was caring for his ailing mother. Maybe I'm being a bastard. It might be a commentary on how we don't provide teachers with the proper composition for the amazing jobs that they do. I think that's very true. I don't think it's that.

No. Yeah, he does the oatmeal thing. He's also been contacting Dalton all this time and we're getting all these voice mails from him and it's like, listen, your dad really fucking sucks and you don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. Block that number, baby. Also, when Chris woke up, she went downstairs

and naps next to Dalton to keep him safe after he has his scary times with a snarling thing. Oh, that's right. There's a lot of just like creatures in this where they're like, let's make some scarries for no, like with no context to the film. So that they're not scary. Yeah.

Cause if you don't under, I mean, yeah. Like the MRI guy. The MRI guy. Yeah, dad eats his dry oatmeal, he's playing the MRI guy. Like the MRI guy. Yeah, dad eats his dry oatmeal. He's playing the memory game. And then we see, and it follows out on the street, looking in at him. Still baby poop colored.

Still baby poop, because he's from the 70s. Yeah. He's playing the memory game with pictures on a window. And he's like, Dalton, Dalton's brother. Ah, what's his name? Number two, fuck! What's his name? And it like, it's, it's, it's, I don't understand

what happened because like, he like, okay, that's mom. And he puts the picture down and he picks up the next picture on the window and he goes, oh, that's mom. Where was the other one? Like his hand's still on it. And you're like, oh, you have severe brain issues. It's not just you're a dick, like,

there's something very, very bad going on. Yeah, like I will play memory with my kid and I am not that great at it because I've smoked my memories away, but he's really bad. Like he's dementia bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, well, but throughout the movie,

people are like, well, have you thought about getting help? And he's like, help? Yes throughout the movie, people are like, well, have you thought about getting help? And he's like, help? Yes, at one point his lovely child, no lovely enough child says to him, maybe you should get therapy. And he goes, I'm just trying to push through it. Yeah. Oh my God, set this man on fire.

I mean, it's a great condemnation of toxic masculinity. Like go fucking get help y'all. Yeah, it's true. Oh my God. So it, whatever is out on the street jumps through the window at him. And I was like, is it messed up Dalton? Cause that's like the same haircut. Yeah. It does have Dalton same haircut. It's the thing is I'm not afraid. It's just, I'm not afraid.

There's like a creature that comes through the house, through, through the window, go comes to the other side of him. He looks at the creature that comes through the house, through the window, comes to the other side of him. He looks at the creature with Dalton's same haircut and then he turns away to look at the broken window. Why would you turn your back on that fucking creature? What are you doing? Because he probably had the same thought I had.

That's going to be a real bear to fix, man. That's a lot of glass. Yeah. Good thing mom's not alive to see this. And there is no scene of him putting plywood over the window. No, I assume he abandoned that house like he abandoned his family. Just lit it on fire and walked away like a Kaiser Sose. I don't know what that means. I know. I mean, I know what it

means, but I don't know what it means. I'm sorry. I love the lack of films that you've seen is mind boggling to me. But how many horror movies have I seen? At least 500. Five hundred plus. Oh man. So, so dad wakes up in the further. Well, first he gets mom's cane. I just want to point that out. I was like, yeah, fuck wakes up in the further. Well, first he gets mom's cane. I just want to point that out.

I was like, yeah, fuck it. Okay, go on. And then he wakes back up in real life and like nothing happens. He finds that thing that says Ben Burton, which looked like a VHS tape or something in the further. But when he comes back, it's just a box of photos. Yeah.

Yeah. And I was like, who the fuck is Ben Burton? Well, we're gonna find out. Ugh. Sad the thing in the MRI machine didn't get him. I wish that it had, because I feel like it would have been better. We are back in our Megadon's class.

She's showing them, she's talking about chiaroscuro and showing them Saturn eating his son, Goya painting. And she says, this is one of Goya's best paintings. No, it's not actually, no, it's decidedly not. Just from an art history perspective, I think most people would argue that it is not one of his best paintings. No, it's not actually. No, it's decidedly not. Just from an art history perspective, I think most people would argue that it is not one of his best paintings, but go on with your bad self. Striking. Maybe is it one of his most famous for sure. But it also looked like,

and I'm not super familiar with, like I've never seen it in person or ever, but for some reason this movie, it looked like that. Remember when that woman was cleaning a portrait of Jesus and what? Monkey Jesus. Yeah. It kind of looked like that. Like they'd like, well, they're not going to let us use the actual Goya. So let's just reproduce it. Hey, hey, who can draw Goya? Yeah. That is kind of what it looks like though. Sapturn eating his thumb. That is kind of what it looks like though. Sapturn eating his thumb.

I don't know. So that just made me mad. Cause it's like, this woman is supposed to be this like finest art professor in the country. And it's like, do any amount of research. It's so, so she hypnotizes the class again. She's like, yeah, why don't you draw your nightmares or whatever, like put your dick on it. everything must come from inside you and also your dick.

So he draws some kind of maniac by the door by the red door. This is dad. It's well, we don't know that yet. Yeah. The first it looks like Michael Myers or maybe a scarecrow. Sure. They're hitting all the movies. What if this is the scarecrow movie you saw?

How could that be? all the movies. Yeah. What if this is the scarecrow movie you saw? Fuck. How could that be? Am I a time traveler? Am I ever going to see that scarecrow movie again? I don't know. We get constantly get messages that are like, oh, maybe this is your one. No, we've already watched that one.

No, I tried that. I really, it may have been that last one. Was that not dark night of the scarecrow? Whatever the last one was. The one with like the military? But I don't think so, been that last one. Was that not Dark Knight of the Scarecrow? Whatever the last one was. The one with like the military? But I don't think so, cause that was quite bad. What if that was the one that stuck with you? I don't know, I'm very upset.

Maybe I, it's just very upsetting to me to think I saw something that may not exist. Like a ghost, it's a ghost of a movie. Ghost Scarecrow movie. Yeah, well. Oh, you're haunted by your own thoughts. That's certainly true. I call it anxiety.

So Dalton is talking to Dalton's brother. Dalton's brother is using a speaker phone because Dalton's brother is obnoxious. I feel like they were like, can this kid be smoking weed? And we're like, probably not, but like give him that vibe. There you go, yeah. It's like, can this kid be smoking weed? And we're like, probably not. But like, give them that vibe. There you go. Yeah. It's like, what's up fucking bone dog. What's going on?

Bone dog is a great nickname. They're talking on the phone because Dalton wants to ask him about a red door from their childhood. His response is ask mom. Yeah. He's like, I don't fucking know. I actually wasn't in that movie. I mentioned the beginning and then I'm gone. And then just fucking gone. Like it's fucked up. They named me foster and then just forgot about me.

Like it's not good. It's not great. It's not a good look. I would do after a bit when foster showed up, I fucking guffaw because I was like, ah, we talked so much shit on that kid. Dalton and Dalton's brother. because I was like, ah, we talked so much shit with that kid. Daltin and Daltin's brother. Is this where he, no, the Chris learns about PPI, professional paranormal investigators.

And these are the producers of the film, right? And the guys who were in the first movie as the professional paranormal investigators with Elise Rayner. Okay, okay, okay. Yes, and yeah, it's Lee Wynell and another guy. Okay, I forgot about Elise, yeah. Yeah.

And then we watch a video of Elise speaking to a college class. What college hired her to speak about astral projection and they want life? And just probably the same college, probably that University of Paris had hired the lady from Split. Do you know how many messages I got about how wrong I was? Do you know? I get it. I know that you guys don't know that someone else has already told me this, but boy, did

I feel yelled at. I'm so sorry. No, it's fine. But they just send them to you personally. Um, I got some on discord. I got one via Twitter. I got, yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I know a thing. No, I mean, I do like to be corrected when I'm wrong because I'm wrong a lot. Sure. But I believe you corrected yourself in that episode and found out that it was the Sorbonne.

But it's more than that, that's what I learned. It's more, because I was like, why not just call it the Sorbonne? But there's all these reasons not to just call it the Sorbonne. Gotcha. Whatever. You know what, I'm not fucking French or correct.

I'm neither. Or an expert on colleges. No, fuck no. So yeah, they watched this Elise Rayner video and she's like, stop talking to the barrel directly to Dalton. He's being really self-important about the first thing he made at art college. That's really bothering me quite a bit. He's turning into the guy who high school was the best years of his life.

Yeah. Like this is the first thing I made and it's probably the best thing I'm ever going to exactly. And I'm going to keep bringing it up. Um, so they're going to go to the, to the frat house to try to connect back up with the further. Yeah. He's going to go to sleep in somebody's room so he can talk to the vomiting

ghost, I guess, a la Misha Barton in the sixth sense to find out that she was poisoned by her mother. You know, that whole thing where she does that, where they go back, they talk, where she tells them where she's the messenger. Munchausen by proxy. I don't know where you're at. I can't imagine. Yeah, well. Real good that movie was.

Yeah, it really was. Speaking of the first thing you do, being the best thing you could do. Oof. I guess it happens. I guess it does happen. Yeah. That first Sunny Day real estate record

was the best, the first song on the first track of the first record is the best thing they ever did. So good. So good. Oh, yeah. God, that's sad. Yeah, they're not like Radiohead, but they got better like three albums in.

I hate Radiohead. That's my problem. Thanks for doing that. You know what says college frat boy room, a giant union Jack? It's been a while since you dudes were in college, yeah. I feel like this is one of those, whenever there's like college dorm decorating

and you could tell that it's the middle-aged people who are making the movie or decorating the room. Yep, yep. Why is this room covered in The Cure posters? I thought, I saw they came out with a new record. Yeah, first time in 16 years. How is it? I've only heard one track, it sounds like The Cure.

Great. It's what you want from, yeah, it's what you want from heard one track. It sounds like the care. Great. Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want. Yeah. That's what you want from the care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, so I even know if this is Nick has to shit. Yeah. Nick is like trying to flirt with a woman. That's right. And then he's like, I'm going to be in here a while. And it seems like she was like, fine. I want to see what this dick is all about,

so maybe I'll hit it. I don't know why she's sticking around, unless it's just that his hair is really something to behold. So the lights go out for Chris while they're hiding in this room, and then she's getting choked by Darth Maul the demon. Why is he doing that?

Okay, great Katie All real Freddy Krueger shit like it's all he's asleep She needs to wake him up so that the this dream will stop attacking her like that is the fucking plot of nightmare on Elm Street Haven't heard of it. Don't know what that is. I'm sorry Nick ends up saving her by the way. We don't give Nick his due here. He does CPR on her until she wakes up. Yeah. Yeah. And that's the last we see of Nick. Not the dick we heard he was. He's saving lives. Yeah. He just keeps saying, wake up, wake up. It's very, it's actually sort of kind.

It's nice. Great. Cause he doesn't want another death in his dorm room. You know what? Too shy. He's looking up for number one. Yeah. Um, just having to say Chris is going to be pissed. We get some, some microfiche. Yeah. Dad on the microfiche machine looking at the fish finds his, his dad, Benjamin Burton.

What is macrofiche, do you think? Just regular pictures? Great question. Thanks. Yeah, he finds out that his dad was schizophrenic on the microfiche. Is that a thing you can find people's medical records on the microfiche?

Yeah, it's in the news. Okay, because he finds his father's medical records, learns that he was schizophrenic, had been subjected to electroconvulsive therapy. Then in quotes, it just says astral projection. I don't fucking know. And then you get to a picture of him and he has Dalton's same haircut. Yeah. And he's deceased.

He is deceased. So his dad didn't run out on him. He died. Why didn't his mother ever just tell him that? Because this is a family that lies to each other constantly. Fair enough. Yeah. Yeah.

So Chris leaves and she's like, yeah, this sucks. I'm not doing this anymore. Bye bye. Yeah. She should have figured this out three days ago. So Dalton goes back to work on the painting. Now he's got the door and a guy with a hammer. Yeah. And he calls his brother on the phone again and says, excuse me, Dalton's brother,

does this mean anything to you? Bone dog, I'm not sure. He says, I've had this image in my mind for years. Mom says it's a dream. He doesn't tell you what the image is. No. No, why would he do that? Yeah. Oh no, years. Mom says it's a dream. He doesn't tell you what the image is. No. No. Why would he do that? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh no, he says we were in a basement. You remember that? Yeah, like basements. I, but how many fucking basements have you been in in your goddamn life? A million! Oh my God. He spends all his time on this goddamn painting.

Good thing he doesn't have to take like geology or American history or anything. He's in art school. He just has to do art, Katie. I guess, I guess. Chris is a math major, so I don't know. It seems to be just traditional liberal arts university. She just has to do math. I guess you're right.

All right, all right. Two plus two equals art. Uh-huh. Okay. Demons are blowing lights out. Okay. Demons are blowing lights out. Dad learns that he was a monster. I assume from this is him talking to mom.

Yeah, to which I wrote stop indulging him. He's a dick. Because he's sitting there talking to her about his dad again, which is the excuse he keeps giving to his children about why he's not a better father is because he had such a shitty father. Stop indulging him.

Stop letting him do this. She sucks. They both suck. It's such a bummer. Like she, I mean, I don't know that I've ever seen a character fail the Bechdel test harder than Rose Byrne's character in this movie. Just talking about, yeah.

It's like she doesn't have a life, except to facilitate him. And also the implication is then that she knew about the further, she kept it from them for all these years. He was nine years alive. She allowed this to go on and ruin his life and estranged him from his children

for the last several years. It's basically like, I have this real like weird lump on my chest and she's like, I don't know what that could be. No, it seems, I don't feel a lump. I don't see a lump. What are you talking about? Jesus Christ. Now I have written, oh my God, there's still 30 minutes left.

It's not a particularly long movie. No, no. We get a flashback of what I assume is part two because I don't remember it from part one. Great. Of dad attacking them in the basement with a hammer. Oh, right. She says it's like another dimension.

And I feel like she did a script read of the first couple movies for him. Yeah. She goes, because you tried to kill our family. And he's like, what? A me? Maybe instead of hypnotizing your children and telling them that the, hypnotizing one of your children

and telling the others that their memories aren't real, maybe get them therapy. Maybe you have them work through their complicated feelings of seeing their father have a mental break. As a family, we're just pushing through it. Pushing through it. Oh my God. It's interminable. If I knew what this says, he's a happy zombie man, I don't know what the fuck that means. Happy zombie man, happy zombie man.

I don't know. Is it the painting we see? We see so much of this fucking painting. At some point I was just like, please stop zooming. I get it. It's Patrick Wilson. So something happens to Dalton and he's not afraid of the dark anymore. Yeah, I guess.

And I was like, is he, is he possessed now? I think so. Yeah. Is he the demon? He's a demon now, Dalton. Oh, that's why I have, he's a happy zombie man. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Because he looks like all fucked up and weird. Because she's like plugging Christmas lights into the generator for him to keep him from being afraid of the dark because she's way nicer to this idiot than she ought to be.

Yeah. That's so true of all than she ought to be. Yeah. Yeah. That's so true of all women. So many women. Sure. So much nicer to these idiots than we ought to be. And that's why I'm asking you all to go and vote. Thank you.

Don't worry. Women will save America again. Just like we always do. Just kidding. We probably won't be able to vote in the next election. Jesus. So we see that he is possessed because he's chained up in the further. Like he was in the first movie, I believe. He was like in a cage in the further. Yeah, because his dad had to go rescue him. That I remember.

But we're also in this flashback, which you think is from the second movie. I think so. The kid is like, kid Dalton is like, I can go in there and find him and bring him back. And the mom's like, no. And he's like, I can do it. She's like, all right, be careful.

Like as though he's going to get the mail. Take her to Nature's Valley granola bar. He should get hungry. Hell of a mom move there. It's just like there were, I don't know, I don't understand her at all. There are so many choices that don't involve sending your child into a dream realm full of monsters and also then having their memories wiped. But you know, as a mom, if they ask twice, you gotta say yes. Oh yeah.

First time you can say no, but a second time they really want to do it. They really want to do it. And also that's why my child is an absolute spoiled brat. Oh, I don't know why I've written this, but it's a dark insight into my soul, beating the shit out of your dad. Everyone's fantasy. your dad, everyone's fantasy. There's like a witch lady, scary granny. It was also like kind of cute. I don't know who she is. Is she supposed to be the witch lady from the first movie that was like in the cupboard through the entire thing? I don't know. Yeah.

So dad gets Dalton back out of the fucking further and Dalton is painting the door black to save dad or something. I thought it was locking him in there. Oh, but I don't know. Because now the hammer is missing from the painting. There's this great scene where he's looking at the painting and it like moves to the side and the hammer is 3d and he takes the hammer out of the painting. Oh God, I must've been taking notes because I missed that. Wow. I have a

note that says Blair witching it in the corner there. I don't know what that's about. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So Josh wakes up. I watched this literally 12 hours ago. I have no idea. Everyone seems to be cool now. They remember Foster's name. There's still no daughter to be seen. No, she's had a sleepover, I think we're told.

I don't understand why, because she was in the first part of the movie. Like, why did you have to write her out? And then dad's on the street and mom's like, hey, you can come back and live with us. So I mean, I didn't say it out loud, but that's the implication. You don't?

I don't think so. And dad's like, doot doot, I'm having the best day, doot doot. And goes out on the street and Elise Rainer's there. And she's like, hey man, cool. Good to see you. Glad you're cool now. I fixed everything for you. I'm a ghost.

Wait, no, hold on. You are way the fuck ahead. Am I? I have, he has to have the thing in the further first where he finds his dad. It's like shitty field of dreams where they're like gonna have a catch. I just, I stopped taking notes.

Yeah, I have so much, well, fuck it. I don't care, I'm flipping ahead. If you don't care. We're an hour into this bad boy. If you don't care, I don't care. You have a bright future ahead of you. And Dalton, keep a steady stride, Josh. Is this like Christian shit?

I don't understand what's happening here. I don't know. What about the other two kids? Fuck them, I guess. Who? Dalton's brother and Dalton's sister? When we see Dalton again, he's working on a new piece of art.

He's wearing a white shirt now, so you know that he's better. Exactly. And you can't see what he's drawing at first, and I imagine he was just doing like a new piece of art. He's wearing a white shirt now, so you know that he's better. Exactly. And I just, you can't see what he's drawing at first, and I imagine he was just doing like a hang in there kitten. I have a note that says Dalton's painting titties now. Love that, a titties cell, man. Look at the Renaissance.

Oh my God. And Dalton and dad are friends again. Well, cause yeah, dad just wanders into the dorm. I don't think you should just let like late middle-aged men walk into dorms, but okay. He's got his polo tucked in. He's trustworthy. He's trustworthy. We see the painting that he was making, which is his dad carrying him out of the further. It's not nearly as good as either the drawing of his grandmother or the red door.

So I guess his art is gone. Well, suffering creates art. And now that he's been healed. I see. Yeah, he's just gonna paint him and his dad in like fucking, yeah, it does feel very Christian. How would you bring it up? Something about keeping a steady stride

made me just think like, is this about God? I don't know why. It's also, the painting is kind of like the- A Pieta? Yes, but like a male Pieta. Yeah. Let's get those broads out of there. Make this a little manlier, huh? What if we make this not about the love of a mother?

Can I read you my last note? Please. Trash. My last note is, I don't mean this as harsh as it would sound, but these are starter horror movies for kids. Yeah. Yeah. Starter pack, starter horror movies for kids. Yeah. Starter pack, horror starter pack. Yeah. Yeah.

Katie. Alan. Rady. Hated it. Hated it. Hated it. God, it's just nothing. Yeah.

It's nothing. It's a, it's a popcorn fart. I'm rating it a popcorn fart. It's dry and nothing. It's a popcorn fart. I'm rating it a popcorn fart. It's dry and nothing. That's what I'm rating it, that sound. You? Zero Darth Maul demons. This is not a good movie.

Don't watch these movies. They're bad movies. They're bad movies. They're bad movies. Don't show them to your kids either as a way to get them into horror. It's not right. No.

No. Show them the thing at eight years old. Show them, show them the birds when they're in kindergarten so that they'll turn out okay like I did. I've been, you know, bumming because everything. So I was like, wait, is something going on? What's up? So I've been rereading, Who Goes There? The story that the thing is based on.

So fucking good. Who wrote that? It's written by John W. Campbell. Oh, I'll read it. Yeah, it's very fun. It's different than the movie, but it's still very fun. I enjoy it. Great.

Hot tip. But it was just like, you know, you just get those stories that you like going back to when things are rough. Yeah. Katie. Alan. Take a look in those boxes that we got there. That box we got there.

What's in the box? We got some mail, Katie. Okay a look in those boxes that we got there. And that box we got. What's in the box? We got some mail, Katie. Okay, let's see. Oh, an unopened Amazon Prime package. Wait, this is addressed to, to Werewolf Ambulance from yamazon.com. Yeah. What did Bezo send us? A subscription to the Washington Post.

Freeze dried candy corn. Here, I'm gonna throw this to you while I read the note. I actually do like when you eat on the show from Mark. Thank you, Mark. All right, give it a try, give it a try. Freeze dried candy corn. I'm not a fan of a freeze dried food in general. Oh boy.

That is a weird sensation. Oh, not for me. So true. It's like eating tea. Ah. Ah, threw it overhand that time. Mark. Thank you. That is wild. I can't. I threw it overhand that time. Mark! Thank you.

That is wild. I can't, I can't get it out of my mouth. It won't go down my throat. You've been freeze-dried. Are you alright? Yeah, I'm good. Do you have seltzer? No, I don't.

I'm a liar. Alright. Whew! What a weird thing. Thank you, Mark. All right. Woo. Ha ha ha. What a weird thing. Thank you, Mark. Thank you, Mark. I don't mean to belittle your gift, but hoo boy. All right, now what's in the big box?

What's in the box? Okay, what's in the box? What's in the box? Oh my God. This is from? Oh, this is a bumper sticker that says, Where are you going, heaven or Ohio? And Ohio is in flames.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha flames. That is so fun. I thought you would like that. I love it. Oh, there's a note. Yeah, why don't you read the note? Hey, Katie and Alan, just a random box of Goofy

to say thanks for being rad. The Mrs. and I have been listening since very early on and our Mondays have been at least 500% better because of you two. We both have really hectic jobs that make the time during the workday on Mondays to listen to the new episodes, talk and laugh about them after work, and usually watch the next week's movie after dinner.

Holy fuck. That's beautiful. How is your life so cute? Yeah. Your genuine rapport is unmatched and makes Werewolf Ambience the most fun podcast out there, hands down. Although I do miss the sweet treat reviews.

Sorry for the shite handwriting. No, this is lovely. I look like I write with my toes. Thanks for everything, y handwriting. No, this is lovely. I look like I write with my toes. Thanks for everything. Y'all take care. Mike paper contains 15% tobacco stock. Should I light this up? Smoke it. Have you got it? Baby. Mike, thank you. Thank you for that super sweet message and hello to Mike's Mrs. Yeah. Yeah. What else is in the box? Oh, hang on. There's some bubble wrap for you to pop. There's a lot of stuff in this box.

I'm gonna get it up here with me. Hang on. We got a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Pumpkins. Delightful. Throwing them down. We got some, are these window stickers? They do look like window decals, yeah. Oh yes, of a zombie and... Is this, I forget, I don't know what...

I don't know who this woman is, but she looks familiar and the sticker just says, the hell I won't, which I like a lot. Katie, the thing you threw to me are Christmas ornaments of Jason, Freddie, and Michael Myers and Leatherface. Oh my gosh, those are so cute. I would take them, but they terrify my child who is just not caught out for horror. Not yet. I have a Krampus on the tree and it really bothers her. Yeah.

Is there more stuff in that box? There's more stuff in this box. What is that? I don't know. Looks like a flag. Mike, what are you doing here? stuff in this box. What is that? I don't know. It looks like a flag. Mike, what are you doing here? Oh my God. It's a wall hanging. It's a wall hanging.

I'm facing it to you so I can't tell what it says. It says horror, persons living dead or undead requires love of all things, bloody and frightening. Gore, chainsaws, hockey mask killers, the living dead, vampires, bloodstained carpets, knife wielding maniacs. It is an amazing flag. Can we hang this up here in the studio? Yeah, of course. Thank you.

Throw it over here. There's one more thing. Do you know what the last thing in here is? I don't. Did you look? You didn't even look. I didn't look. Baby pumpkin spice Oreos.

All right, let's do this. If you don't want to hear us eat Oreos on the podcast, please stop now. I don't want to lose Mike's note there. All right, pumpkin spice flavor cream. I bet I'm going to like this because one thing I know about me is that I'm a basic bitch when it comes to pumpkin.

This is a podcast for and by basic bitches who love pumpkin flavored things. and buy basic bitches who love pumpkin flavored things. Mm. Mm. I'm not gonna throw that. Okay. This is a very yellow Oreo, more yellow than the like golden Oreo.

Sure. The frosting is pumpkin colored. Frosting. Nice snap to the cookie? Mm-hmm. It's got a ginger snap quality to it that I really like. Yeah. I like this. It's almost like a pumpkin pie with a graham cracker crust kind of feel to it.

You done good on this one Oreo. Wow. A little overly sweet, but that's okay. That's Oreo. Well, the thing I like best about a regular Oreo. Wow. A little overly sweet, but that's okay. That's Oreo. Well, the thing I like best about a regular Oreo is that the chocolate isn't sweet. True, I'm sure.

But all of their like extra flavors are really sweet. Yeah, I could eat 10 of these. This is much better than the coke flavored Oreo that I had. Cocaine. I wish. I wish it was booger sugar flavored. Tastes like regret. This is great.

Mike, thank you so much. What a sweet message. So sweet. And thank you for all this sweet stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I love that you all get together and watch the movies and talk about the podcast and that we can be part of you.

Oh, my God. We're part of their marriage. We're like in their bedroom with them. It's a throuple with you and where we'll end up. Yeah. Next my God, we're part of their marriage. We're like in their bedroom with them. It's a throuple with you and where we're going. Yeah, next time you guys are fucking, think about us. That's cute. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Just picture Alan and me standing there like that, what was the ghost that jerked off? Toby, I don't remember what movie he's from.

It's a paranormal activity, isn't it? Yeah, dude. Yeah. Jerking off, watching you jerk off. What was the ghost that jerked off Toby? I don't remember what movie is from Jerking off watching you jerk off at some point while you're making love. We will drop the entire contents of your kitchen Do you look in the mirror Please think of a werewolf ambulance. Please don't. Please think of something else. I'm not in the mood anymore. Yeah, Katie now just popped in my brain. Oh God. You know, once Vicki and I were running a Tough Mudder race and we were wearing all black like sort of singlets and then we were wearing men's tighty whiteys over them. And a man behind us was like, wow, I'll never get a boner again when he saw us. And I was like, wow, I hope you don't. Um, so that would not be the first time I've stopped a man from ever getting a boner again.

Also, why? I don't know. I think we're that gross. Two beautiful women in weird outfits. I'll never get hard again. All right. Your dick's the problem. I hope it came true. Yeah. Anyway, we can mail from a limp dick loser. It was me. I have actually never gotten a boner since. Okay. So next week is episode 500. Yes. We had planned to do something very special, but because of scheduling, we're not going to be able to pull it off next week. So it's going to be episode five Oh one. Yeah. So what are we jeans? I like the jeans. How are we going to be in our, how, how, how are we crossing the 500 threshold? How are we doing this?

It's like, it's like, uh, like turning 30, no big deal. 31. That's weird. But turning, turning 500, who cares? Five Oh one. Whoa. Okay. So what are we going to do for episode 500? For episode 500, we're going gonna do a much requested film. It is called In A Violent Nature. A lot of you asked for it, apparently. It's on the shutter. I've seen it, I like it.

Let's see what Katie thinks. Why are you spoiling episode 500 already? Don't come back, I've already seen it. Yep, fuck it. Nope, that's the end of the show. That's it. I was gonna suggest that end of the show. That's it. Ah, I was gonna suggest that we do the remake of The Thing for 500 just to scare people.

I'm not doing that. I don't wanna hurt them. They've been good to us. Next episode 500, The Thing. What? Imagine all the tummy drops. All the tummy drops people would feel. I don't like that for them.

I don't want that for them. We're a horror movie podcast. We should be scaring them to think their friends are leaving. No, there are... That's some dad shit. That's some bad dad shit. That's some Patrick Wilson shit.

We gotta get out of here. I'm the Josh now. So yeah, come back for that. Go, thanks to all our Patrons on Patreon. Search Patreon, Werewolf Ambulance, T-Public, werewolfambulance.gmail.com. Find any of our social medias to go to the link tree to join us on Discord.

A lot of fun over there. A lot of folks over there. It's getting big, it's growing. Yeah, it's a real good time. It's a nice community. Yeah. And it's open to everybody. It is, it is.

And yeah, go vote. Yeah, fucking it is. And, um, yeah, go vote. Yeah. Fucking do it. Yeah. Do it for me and my baby. Yeah. Yeah. Do it for Lucy. Do it for vote for Lucy. Yeah. I mean not for like president. No, but write her in. I think that's fine. She'd be dope. God nightmare world of a seven year old. She'd be a dictator on day one. I'll tell you that. She is a fascist. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye.

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