Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 499- In a Violent Nature (2024)

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

In this week's episode, we're taking the suggestion of a whole bunch of you and discussing the brand new 2024 slasher "In a Violent Nature." Special topics for your consideration include: meditative murder walks, the perpetual fear of finding one's "thing" within a horror movie, haircuts that truly express the personality of the wearer, and the sweet relief of not having to care about the victim characters.  Do you like movies from the killer's perspective? You may enjoy Episode 239- "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon." How about Canadian slashers? Please consider my all-time favorite, Episode 305- "My Bloody Valentine, or, coming in at a close second, Episode 162- "Prom Night." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes! We just released our "Kung Fu Hustle" episode and weren't entirely proud of it, so as a bonus, next week we'll be debuting the first episode of "Nice One, Mate," our "Line of Duty" rewatch podcast. IT IS HAPPENING! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. 

Hello, Katie. Hello, Alan. Welcome back. Are you nice and refreshed after your week off? So fresh and so clean, clean. Are you nice and refreshed after your week off? So fresh and so clean clean. Ah, stanconia. I was in Brooklyn over the weekend briefly. Were you really? How did you get so cool?

I was at a concert for an Irish Doomfolk band. See, you lost it. Cool. Lost it. Very MPR heavy. Ted Leo was at the concert. I love Ted Leo. You know I love Ted Leo. Loudest show I've ever been to in my whole life, which is strange. Makes sense. Tracks?

No. As I'm walking by, this guy cuts me off and I'm like, you Ira Glass look. Oh, you might be Ira Glass. It's actually Ira Glass. Yeah. So Ira, if you were at the Lancome show, get in touch and let me know. And also stay the hell out of Allen's way. You saw him coming. He's a six foot two vegetarian. Are you feeling all so fresh and so clean, clean after your time off?

No, I feel like shit, but I already cried today. So we probably won't do it again tonight. To quote Ozzy Osbourne and a child shampoo, no more tears. No more tears. Yeah, you're right, I'm done. I'm here to talk about something very funny. Fuck.

The kids wanted it, we're giving it to them. Couldn't have done like Tucker and Dale or something like that, no. Couldn't have done Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I will never watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as long as I don't fucking make that face at me. Have you seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as long as I don't fucking make that face at me. Have you seen Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? No, don't.

Wow. Cars don't fly, Alan. What about Mary Poppins? Have you seen Mary Poppins? In bits and pieces. Ladies don't fly, but you've seen Mary Poppins. Yeah, and I don't like it. All right.

So come back next week when we're doing... Please don't make me do an old style movie. Old timey movie. What's your cutoff? What's your cutoff year? Ha ha, 1975. So I'm not gonna be able to squeeze the sound of music in under that.

I hate the sound of music. I'm a bastard, Alan. You know, like, I don't, there's so many things I just don't like. In your defense, I'm an 85, Alan. You know, like, I don't, there's so many things I just don't like. In your defense, I'm an 85-year-old grandmother. It's hard for me to relate to that, as a 22-year-old that I am. I keep giving you unwrapped Werther's out of my pocket.

Could you just not unwrap them before you give them to me? It happens in the pocket. How? Because it's all mixed up with your used tissues? Oh, no, those are in your sleeves. Those are in the pocket. How? Because it's all mixed up with your used tissues. Oh, no, those are in your sleeves. Those are in my bra. Ha ha ha. In a violent nature.

In a violent nature, baby. A lot of you asked us to do this movie, so here we are. Mm-hmm. Did you know anything about this movie prior to going into it? Only what you told me, which was that it was like a killer POV. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I read you my first note about it?

Please. 6 AM, baby, Let's do this. So when I sat down at eight p.m. last night to watch the movie and saw where I had stopped watching it previously was still way down in the continue watching. I was like, Oh, this is going to be a morning movie for Katie. Is she going to be bummed? Yeah. It was a rough six a.m. I'll tell you what. A six a.m. movie that, uh, this is for all you Eno heads out there, moves like music for airports. It is so slow. It is so like, hey, you paying attention? Wait up!

It is a lot. It is a challenge. I was up. I did it. I watched the whole thing. Oh, I'm proud of you. At what speed? Well, I watched the first hour and 15 minutes at regular speed. Yeah. And then I had to turn it on to 1.3 for the last 15 minutes cause I had to get in the shower cause I had to go to work. I will say, if I knew how to play things faster, there are parts of this movie that I definitely would like to

speed up. I mean, I appreciate the art of the linger, but I don't always appreciate it. That's it. You're not the cranberries head that I am. Oh, you have to, you have to. You have to let it linger. I hate this, I hate myself.

I don't know, I'm full of self-loathing today. This is what we do. This is what we do. This is how we do. Yeah, that I like. That's my karaoke jam. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, I don't even look at the screen. That's my karaoke jam. Oh, sure. Yeah.

I don't even look at the screen. I do the whole dance. That's a six foot eight black man. I know that you could kill it. All they said was six eight. I stood and people thought the music that I made was good. Oh yeah. I do the rap part.

And then I released the song and then I guess I die. That's it. That was it for old Montel Jordan. If you're Montel Jordan, get in touch. Why you're hanging out? Jordan listens to our show. God, I hope so. God, I hope so too. How much sex did that man have at the height of that career? So much sex. Oh my God. What a sex machine. Yeah. Um, who's the most famous person who listens to our podcast, do you think? Ooh. Is it you? I think it might be you. You gotta edit it.

It might be me. It's probably you. I'm known by 10 of people. Eladra Chanisett, baby. Delaware and 18 year olds are all about it. Yeah, and one was in a cool band. I was gonna say Dave Eight Cylinder, maybe. Oh, Dave eight C is pretty fucking famous. He's big in that, that break course scene. Yeah. Hi Dave. Hi Dave. Famous Dave. That's

what we call you. Oh, famous Dave. I think he would hate that. He's so sad right now. He doesn't even know that we've said it yet. All right, so this movie opens on a Blair Witch looking. Sure. Yeah. There's a, there's a shed with a pipe. Yes. And we are, the camera is focused just in one place and we're hearing the voices of what sound like bras, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, bros, couple of chads, chads, chads, colt. One of them is named Colt. Who names a child Colt? All the people are named like Chase and Colt and algebra. Troy algebra.

Algebra actually has a pretty ring to it. It does, right up there with trigonometry. Aw, too many syllables. Ha ha ha. When I hear Colt, all I can think of is the Afro man song, Colt 45 and two zigzags, maybe that's all we need. We can go to the park after dark and smoke that tumbleweed. It's a marijuana burns. We can take our turns singing them dirty rap songs.

You know, yes, I know another Afro man song. It was my early twenties were a weird time. How are your early forties? Fucking worse. These bros are talking about, I don't even know. Like somebody mentions the white pine slaughter. Right. And another one is trying to steal a locket

that's on a necklace on a pipe. This is Troy. And they're like, hey, I only refer to him as the dickhead in all of my notes. I mean, he's like a caricature of a dickhead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His hair is shaped like a penis. Yeah, he genuinely looks like, he looks like Toad

from Mario Brothers. He's a Toad-le-toad. He's a tiny little toad. Yeah. He takes the necklace, because he's an utter dipshit. He sneaky peets it. Yeah. And then the pipe starts shaking. But it's cool. So we see him take the necklace and then you hear them kind of walk away. And then the camera pans over just a little bit to the like, it was just entirely a still shot. And then you see the pole start to wiggle. And the

and then you see the pole start to wiggle. And the closed captioning was great because it says, bubbling continues. Bubbling continues. I'm like, that's a rumble, baby. That's not a bubble. Yeah, get it right. I feel like you should do closed captioning because you have a great word for everything.

Yeah. So I have to ask, now that we know what's under the pipe, was the pipe there for him to breathe through to stay alive? Why would they do that? That seems like shooting oneself in the foot. Also, I have a real question here. This is jumping ahead, but I'm just, and I know people don't like it, but I'm doing it anyway. Throughout the movie, I assumed he was the father of the child cause he's a full grown man. He's the child. How he grow Alan.

Well, when you get really angry, you get bigger. The incredible hawk taught us anything. You know, I barely know what that means. That's the green guy. You won't like me when I'm angry. Yes. That was his catchphrase. Oh, I didn't know that's where that came from. Cause I'm not a fucking dork. Oh, I didn't know that's where that came from. Mm-hmm. Because I'm not a fucking dork.

Nor were you ever a 12-year-old boy. We get about one of those two things. One and the same. And also, you do a horror movie podcast. I'm a fucking dork. You're kind of a fucking dork. I'm a fucking dork. I know, I'm a fucking dork.

So something is coming on out of this hole. Yeah, man's climbing up. Throws off some chains, and it's a big guy. Yeah. He's a big guy. Yeah. He's a big boy. I'm worried about his, uh, it looks like he might have COPD or something. His hands are real swollen. I'm not sure what's going on.

They're puffy. I mean, he has been underground for at least 10 years as far as I could tell. So maybe he's a little waterlogged. Yeah. Yeah. A little like a very wet earth he was in. It's cool that this is happening in like an idyllic daytime. Yeah.

I like that a lot. I like that there is zero soundtrack in this movie. Nothing. No score. Just birds. Birds and... And screams. Birds and screams. So I was reading a little bit about this and apparently he was going for this like Gus Van Sant sort of thing.

I don't really exactly know what that means. He does like, I guess more natural filmmaking. He did a movie called Elephant. Oh. Which is like a I guess more natural filmmaking. He did a movie called Elephant, which is like a take on the Columbine shooting. I saw that. But it's based on this really great short movie of the same name. That's The Troubles, but it's this totally silent, except for the murders movie where people are just like out jogging and someone walks out from behind a train and shoots him in the head and then he goes to the next scene. And it's like the mundanity of death. So I feel like this movie is also sort of like getting, it's like, what would Jason's life be like if he was just like cruising around?

Yeah. What would his days look like? Well, heard a noise. I guess I go over there. I guess I'll see what they're doing. So he loses his chains, both physical and metaphorical. Very good. And he's just, he walks like a bad guy. Yeah. And you see him only from behind at this point. And he's just taking a walk through the woods and you're walking behind him. And it's the sound of his footsteps and some birdsong. And I love the, um, jumps to the light changing to like denote the time as passing as this is happening.

It's a very nice. Yeah, it's beautifully artsy fartsy. Since we've done podcasts where, who does, looking at you Don Doehler, who has scenes where there is snow on the ground and then in the next scene there isn't and then in the following scene. I'm sorry, I got very distracted

because Alan just dumped a whole bunch of liquid down his chest, so I'm gonna move on. Don Dohler. Don Dohler's not out of artistic need, but out of just financial need. I didn't have the money in the spring, so now it's winter. Oh, Dohler.

But I find these shots of him just walking in the woods to be oddly meditative. Even though he's a super bad guy. So we hear, we see some traps in the woods and there's a fox caught in one. Is this Canada? Yes. Okay. It's real pretty. It's way too pretty to be America. We fucked everything. Oh God. We're just farting all over the place. And like fun fact that I heard about on another podcast talking about this movie.

Wait, what are other podcasts? I think so. It was actually a podcast talking about another podcast that talked about this movie. It was like many layers. Watch out Christopher Nolan. I'm incepting this conversation. And Katie has lost interest in this as well. like many layers. Watch out Christopher Nolan, I'm incepting this conversation. And Katie has lost interest in this as well. Genuinely, did you see me zone out? Cause I did. You actually turned briefly invisible.

That's cool. So apparently they filmed 70% of this movie and the person who was playing the killer quit. And so they were like, okay, so we have to film the entire movie again. They couldn't just get someone of a similar stature? No, no one like fit the like, couldn't match his vibes or whatever.

So they had to reshoot the movie. That's terrible. And apparently they shot in one location in Canada and were like, it's not remote enough feeling. So they went somewhere else. Gotta plan this shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. They have more money than Don dollar, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, there's a Fox in this trap. It's all desiccated and gross. That must've been fun to build. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some more Tom Savini rolls over. He's in his

life. Oh yeah. I mean on his couch, presumably where he fell asleep with his hand in a bag of chips. I don't know, what stumps the meanie doing? Probably in a tanning bed. Yeah, probably in a tanning bed. Or that big chair that spins around in circles that he has. I don't know what that means. Oh yeah, you gotta follow him on Instagram.

I don't do that. I don't get on there. It's too dangerous. It is dangerous. So, and there's trail cams, and there's markers leading back to a dilapidated house. Yes. There are men yelling at each other about traps. Yeah. There's a ranger yelling at a guy.

Chuck. The guy is Chuck. Number one motherfucker. Number one motherfucker. I love that hat. I love it. Do you also love the accompanying necklace that someone bought for Chuck? Cause Chuck did not buy that for himself. Counterpoint. Did he? It's true. Yeah. I do love that one of them calls the other a soft cock motherfucker. How have we never done that?

Is that a Canadian Canadians? Let us know. Is that something you say to each other? And if not, could you start soft cock motherfucker? That's so good. Gives you all those hard C motherfucker. That's so good. Did you all those hard seas? Yeah. Really nice. It feels like you're spitting it. Yeah. Yeah. Love mother fucker. God. Very good. Very good. So the ranger peels out and I like also like the, the Chuck throwing his beer can in the back of his truck and saying, clean up the trash. Chuck's a bit of a bastard. He threatens to kill the ranger if he comes back.

Yeah. He's like, you'll get a sweet kiss from my gun. Chuck is one of those guys. Who is can? But luckily, our killer roams into Chuck's house. Yes, he walks in and sees the number one But luckily our killer roams into Chuck's house. Yes. He walks in and sees the number one motherfucker pendant and has a flashback.

I thought this was a little awkward. So the backstory stuff is my least favorite thing in the movie. Yeah. Like I don't want him to have flashbacks. Just start murdering people. Yeah, just murder people. Yeah.

He has like a mirror flashback where his dad's like, this was your mom's necklace or something. Now that she's gone, you can have it. Yeah. You're the number one motherfucker. Yeah. We also, the radio is on and they're talking about something that mayor Joe Mancini has done. And I was like, Oh yeah, good Italian mayor. Get yourself an Italian mayor. Like Ed Ganey. Yeah. Neither Italian nor a Italian mayor. Like Ed Ganey. Yeah.

Neither Italian nor a great mayor. Ouch. Yeah. Shots fired. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm right. I appreciate all those traffic calming measures, but that's about it.

What? I agree with you. I will talk Pittsburgh politics until people turn this off This has been a long time to get you all to stop listening Guess we'll do it again next week. God damn it. We're too good So he sees that the or he He gets confronted by the guy Chuck. guy, Chuck and Chuck shoots at him thinking

he's the ranger. She's from another room through a wall. He's ready to murder that ranger. Yeah. Stand your ground and all that. I guess Canada, do you guys have that? Doesn't seem like you should, although maybe out in the wilderness they do. It turns out that a Canada a lot like the U S yeah, it's not all Toronto. There's a lot of ding dongs. Yeah. It's not all Toronto. No, no, no. There's a lot of ding dongs. Oh yeah. Um, so, but then he like shoots the wall and then he sees our killer and is like, Oh Jesus fucking fucking Jesus. Yeah. And the, the bad guy

takes the rifle from him instantly. Just, just takes it and then walk chases him. Yeah. It's really good. And then. Hoisted on his own petard. Chuck steps on a trap. Yeah. Good. Yeah.

Yeah. If you're illegally trapping animals, go. If you're listening to this podcast, you illegally trap animals. Because we are an anti-poaching podcast. It is not for us. No. No.

The past 10 years, we've been very vocal about this. Very this, though it may be the first time we're saying it. I mean, just because we haven't said it doesn't mean it's not in our hearts. Exactly. Maybe we should talk more about what's in our hearts. Also, if you're going to trap animals, don't just leave them there to desiccate. Yeah. What are you doing with a dead fox anyway? What do you want with a dead fox? Evidently not. It's pelt because you're just leaving it there.

That's what I'm saying. I'm not going to make a, what do you call those things you wrap around your shoulders? A shawl? Stole. Stole. Thank you. Well, I say that with a great Pittsburgh accent. I just noticed some word I don't say very often. But you also, your use of desiccate was perfect. Stole.

Thank you. Stole. That's an easy one to slip into the old accent. Stole. Yeah. I feel like Chuck would know how to disengage the trap. He doesn't. He just keeps touching it. No. Yeah. I feel like, yeah. It belongs to him.

So. Chuck, figure your shit out. Yeah. But there's this great scene of killer's hand reaching for Chuck's face. And then it cuts to him reaching for the necklace that was hanging there, but his hand is now covered in gore.

Yes, just blood fingers to elbow. It's disgusting. It's so good. And then he goes to take the pendant, which says number one motherfucker. It's great. And he's like, the quest continues. All he wants is his locket. The poor guy.

Yeah. I mean, like, I can't blame him. I'm not mad at him. He never worked on his conversation skills. Unfortunately to be able to talk to people about getting us locked in. Yeah, that's true. And now that number one motherfucker hats all bloody too. Also I really need that hat. Can I, we need two things from you. There's this Quebec Montreal trigger T-shirt.

What if I was wearing both of those? How cool would I look? Straight out of the 1970s. Yeah, it would be pretty dope. I'd ask for a ride in the back of your pickup truck. I would have to borrow a pickup truck. I don't have one anymore. No. Friend of the podcast, Steven has one. We'll just take it off for a joy ride. Excellent. Um, so I've, I got a new t-shirt in the mail the other day for this. No one's going to remember this. There was like a grunge band called Paul in the nineties that had a song called Jesse that was about a dog and the repeated refrain at the end of the song is

Jesse, you're a good dog, such a good dog. Yeah. Um, and so I got this bootleg shirt that says Paul, Jesse with the picture of the dog on the front, and then a picture of the dog at the back that says, Jesse, you're a good dog, such a good dog. And I'm wearing that in a camo hat, and I've never felt more like the redneck that I was raised to be

than when I was wearing those together. It's nice to see you coming into your own as, you know, a Delawarean. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it was really good. So yeah. So he now follows the, the, he walks back into the woods. Cause that's what he does. Just trumps back in. Yeah. I'm walking around now it's dark.

And now he's following the sounds of laughter in an automobile. Why are teens always cheering in cars? What do you, what are you so excited about? And have you been doing that the whole drive? Because they're not staring down the barrel of their own mortality. I thought we weren't going to do this. I thought you were going to be nice tonight. Ha ha ha. Write a song about it.

Oh my god. So he follows them back to the camp. Where they're shooting a gun. There were gunshots, yeah. I would not hang out with people who just randomly shot guns. No! Hey guys, do you want to go get high and shoot guns?

Not really. I'll get high. One of the, I will do one of those things at a time. Yeah. I'll do one of them. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll shoot a gun, but why would you, if you've got weed, why would you need to, why would you, why do you need a gun? Seems why would you if you've got weed? Why would you need to? Why would you?

Why do you need a gun? It seems like Troy should stop being her boyfriend. Sure. He's the worst boyfriend. Yeah. And it seems like she's pressuring him to marry her. I was like, aren't you like 10? How old is this child?

The thing that's rough about her is she looks very much like a smart lady. Yeah. She doesn't give I date Troy vibes. No. Cause Troy doesn't, like there's nothing about Troy that's like, well, he wooed her with that riz. Right. There's nothing about him that's good. Yeah.

He's a head like a penis and he's, he's a dick. I know that ladies love a bad boy. That's not like that though. I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. I guess there's a million Troy's in the world, you know? Not like a legit spoiled boy. Oh, that guy, he's gone bad. And there's some tension between Troy and Colt who appears to be too old for this group. A hundred percent. Colt, you think he's going to have a character arc. Don't worry. He won't.

He won't. He will change rapidly from one scene to the next for no reason and then die. I don't care what happens to these bozos. And the movie goes out of its way to make sure that you don't. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So there's a, there's a campfire joke about Troy having a small wang because there's a joke that he's got a wedding ring hidden in his pants behind his zipper. And someone's like, so you're implying that your dick is as round or big around as her finger. And she says, sometimes, sometimes it gets that your dick is as round or as big around as her finger and she says Sometimes sometimes it gets that big. Yeah, that's pretty good. It's pretty good sick burn And also who wouldn't laugh at that if someone said that about yeah, I would laugh at

Oh, yeah So then we get the story of the white pine slaughter Yeah, I gotta be honest with you zoned out a little bit He takes his sweet time telling it. I mean the whole movie takes its sweet time doing everything slaughter. Yeah. And I gotta be honest with you, zoned out a little bit during this. He takes his sweet time telling it. I mean, the whole movie takes its sweet time doing everything. Yeah. So this is no different. And this is my third time watching it. Oh, you're out on the story. Yeah. Do you want to sum it up or should we just say fuck it? It's just, it's a story. It's like a campfire story about a like revenge for a murder that happens in town or something.

Yeah. Little boy is murdered and then his dad is murdered by loggers and then the loggers were all dead. Yeah. Yeah. And the killer wore a fireman's mask. Yeah. So it's like laying out that there will be a mask in this movie. And then they find the mask shockingly. Yeah. And it's a very cool looking mask. It is a very cool looking mask. It's apparently a like anti-smoke inhalation mask. Oh really? Yeah. It just looks like a bad guy mask, to be fair.

Or I'm going to pretend I'm a big old bumblebee. Yeah, big old bumblebee. If you were going to make a costume of Jeff Goldblum from The Fly, you might choose that. Sure. And then puke on food. Yeah, yeah. Everyone loves you at their parties.

I'm gonna come as that baby that Kroneberg delivers. So they're all taking a selfie, but Johnny, the bad, the killer, is in the background of the photo lurking in the woods. And I love this cause he's pretty much camouflaged in the woods, but then he like moves at one point. You're like, oh shit, that's terrifying. It is terrifying, but they eventually must see him

in the photo cause she says something about it later. Like who, what about the guy that was behind us in the woods in the photo? And it's like, but you guys, we didn't get to experience you seeing that. Like you being afraid of that. But I guess we don't want to, we don't want to empathize with them. Yeah, it's not their story on some level.

I kept thinking in a regular slasher film, we would be following them and learning their group dynamics. We're just getting tastes of that. Right, that's fair. Which I apparently taste for me is a crocodile mouth made with my hand. I like that, because it's like you're, you're eating little bits of popcorn that someone's throwing across the room to

you. So the party heads inside because there's bugs. Right. And they're talking about cancel culture and toxic masculinity, which also feels like a very caricature of a person. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Thanks. And then the killer walks in fines as I have in my note, a shed full of tools or a tool shed. Did you write all those words down? Always going to point out that I'm an idiot in my own house.

With friends like that, with a brain like this. So the boyfriend is still pissed about the small dick joke we learn. Yeah. Cause he's, he took it serious. Yeah. So he probably actually does have a small cock. Yeah. That's okay. Cause Johnny has a hand saw now. He's going to do something wild with it briefly. Or shortly. Yeah. Um,

and then we get this like lady who's really into busting everybody's balls about everything while she sits outside and smokes. Yeah. Um, and she seems to be like the, like it's the group of friends and she's like the metal head or hardcore kid or something. She did not fit in with say Troy. Yeah, for sure. It's because like one guy comes out and is like, do you want to see a cool spider? And she's like, yes.

And I was like, God, me too. I always want to see a cool spider, but I also feel like she wouldn't be invited on this trip. They wouldn't invite me. You know what I mean? So the, the one guy, the guy who told the story about the killer goes off to smoke weed, I guess by himself. And while he's doing that, the killer goes over and like pins him to a tree. Okay.

This, this upset me a little bit because he's, they've the girl who's bus, everybody's balls was saying something to him like, Oh, make sure you show the gas station girls your portable cassette player. First of all, it's a fucking called a fucking Walkman. And then when he is attacked and his headphones get unplugged, it starts playing like a speaker. Walkman don't do that. Do you think in her notes before she went to bed that night,

she was like portable cassette player? I know it's called a Walkman. What was I thinking? What do you think? You think so? Yeah. Anyway, yes. He gets pinned to the tree by his mouth with a handsaw. It cuts the top of his head off through his mouth. Through his mouth? Yeah. I'm sorry. I've had to go through all of my notes to see, because I was mad about it playing through itself without headphones.

It's just a litany. That is not what they do. There's no speaker. There is no speaker in a Walkman, to the best of my knowledge. Yeah, not that I've ever experienced. Not that I remember, yeah. But it's a fucking great effect

of cutting the top of his head off. It's amazing. It looks fantastic. And when his head, when his body falls and his neck is all rubbery, I loved it. So it's in the movie taking a lot of time with every scene. These kills are just like, except for the first one where you, the kill happens off screen.

The rest of them, they're just like, we're going to hang out with these kills and you're going to enjoy it. You're going to watch your gross. You like gross shit. I definitely had like, Oh, I laughed when he cut that man's head in half. Am I all right? Yeah, it's fucking funny. That's a why.

And then he like picks up the top of the head and drags the body to the ranger station. I was like, this movie fucking rules. It fucking rules. He is like walking at the same pace. He was walking when he wasn't dragging a body. Like it's nothing. It's so good. And he's hulking. He's a hulking dude. And I laughed again because to get into the razor station, how does he break the window? He uses the guy's body. He tosses the head in

through the window. Oh, right. He tosses the head through the window. And then to get the mask, he throws the body into the display. It like, I have this, cha-pow! I feel like he could have elbowed it, you know? Anything. Anything. So he's got his mask back. Yes, he's got drag hooks, an axe, and a fire helmet now. Yeah.

Yeah. Really like the hooks as a weapon. He's also breaking all the photos, just because. Yeah, he hates pictures. He hates pictures. They steal people's souls. Yeah. So cut to the next morning now.

I think so, yeah. And two ladies go into the lake to do yoga. Hubba hubba. Is that what we say? Yes, do hubba hubba. So he's watching from across the lake as they have an argument where one wants to swim in the lake and the other one just wants to do yoga. Right. And there's like from across the lake as they have an argument where one wants to swim in the lake

and the other one just wants to do yoga. Right. And there's like a will they won't they thing going on. It seems like they have before. Yeah, and they will again. And they will again. And this, it was the first time we see his face, I think. The only time we see his face maybe.

I thought that was later when he gets the keys. No, it's right here. I have it right here in my nose. Oh, do you? Okay. It's before he puts the mask on. Oh, you know what? We see it in the darkness. We see it in the darkness.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. In which he had very heavy eyebrows, which he doesn't later. No. That's all right. He doesn't. I mean, the mask probably like shaved off a few years. Sure. As a good nighttime mask will do.

Here's where I was debating with myself over whether it was the child or the dad. Wouldn't he have been a child when he was buried? Or is this the dad? It's probably the dad, you dumb fuck. That's a note I wrote to myself. So I guess maybe this is how we talk to ourselves. But this is the Jason Voorhees thing, right?

The end of the first one, he's a kid who jumps up out of the lake, and then he has grown somehow into a doll. To a mammoth creature. Blossomed. Wearing a chain like a bandolier, which is very cool. Yeah. Yeah. And I like that. I actually love that. He just walks into the lake. Yeah. That also felt very Jason. Like he just exists underwater for a long time.

I don't need to fucking breathe. I'm already dead. Yeah. Um, and then like we get this protracted scene of the two women talking and the ones like, I'm going to go over to this cliffside, I guess, and do yoga. Don't stretch on, don't do something where you might lose your balance on the cliff side. Don't do a little tree pose on the edge. What's wrong with you? Especially look, it just looks like

it was previously used for mine runoff. Like it does not look healthy where you're doing this thing. No, it's not a lovely, no, it's not a lovely sight. And it's got all the water has that like, I know it from the pine Barrens, where all the water looks like root beer because of the pine needles like get into it. Yeah. Yeah. He's just, and he's been, he's just moving. We don't know where he is. She's under there somewhere. All of a sudden there, and then there's a long lingering shot of the woman who was in the water, still in the water from across the lake. And then all of a sudden

she like screams and gets pulled underwater. Yeah. Found him. Really like this. Yeah. And then she bobs up and screams again. Yeah. And then she bobs up. She did. She's floating. Yeah. I do get scared of lakes though. Sure. Yeah. Especially the ones that are the color root beer. Yeah. So then there's a long shot of her floating and then like a slow pan over to the dock and here's our guy. Yeah. He walks right out of the lake. Just he walked across that goddamn lake. It's a living. Yeah. I mean if Jesus could do it, right.

Do you think the truth was Jesus was under the water? Jesus and Jason Voorhees are one in the same. Debate me. Think about it. They were both ostracized, betrayed, sacrificed. Sure. Yeah. I mean, if you think about it, Judas, AKA Dracula, was the camp counselor that was making out

and didn't pay attention to Jesus. Yeah, exactly. So he walks to the yoga lady. I don't know anyone's name. And she's like turned away from him doing fucking tree pose or moon dog or slap shot. I don't know. Now you're just being mean. Oh, we're also along with our anti-poaching stance.

Alan has a strong anti-yoga stance. He thinks stretching is for pussies. I think I just have a problem with white people usurping yoga. Stretching is really good for your body. Oh, 100%, 100%, but just people who want to like, someone who namaste's me, we have a namaste issue. Right, yeah.

Anyways. Namaste the fuck away from you. That's why you're the brains of this outfit. I think that's bad news. I think that's bad news for everyone. I may have rubbed off on you. So he goes up to her. She thinks that he's her lover coming to speak to her, but he's not, he's about to do the wildest thing you've ever seen

one human being do another human being do. Yes, I wanna talk before we describe that. I wanna talk about her reaction, which is just to stand there and get stabbed. What's she gonna do? There's a cliff right there. It's a slide, you could slide that. 100%, you could Pete Rose belly slide down that.

You could Pete Rose belly slide. Thank you. Penguin going into the Antarctic ocean. And that's preferable to this man standing there with the sharp object. I'm like, hmm, do I want a little rug burn or do I want to get the thing that I can't wait for Katie to describe to us? Okay, I was typing notes in real time

because I got that little Bluetooth keyboard. She just stands there and gets stabbed. Then he puts his whole hand through her. Then she turns around and he pulls the chain out and puts it around her head and pulls it really tight. And there's meat falling on the ground. And he pulls her head through her back, much yoga. And her head comes through and she looks down and goes,

why didn't anyone tell me my ass was this big? And then she falls over and dies. It's insane. And I was like, movie you did it. I've never seen that. Never seen it. Probably. We'll never see it again. Hopefully we'll never see it again. One and one done. That's like one of those that that's the Jason sleeping bag against a tree. Like you can't.

But that's like, that's a signature. That's Freddie pulling someone's veins out, puppeteering them. Oh yeah. I did like that. Or I welcome me that Willie's welcome to prime time. That gave me the Willie's too. But she goes down that hill anyway. I thought she, cause it kicks her down the hill. I like what he's a little bit rude. Like when he threw the guy into the wall, everybody kicks her down a hill. Like I'm done with you. All he wants is his goddamn locket.

He sure does get his steps in though, doesn't he? He's just tromping around. They buried him with a fit bit, with the lockets, his fit bit. He's like, none of these steps count. Do I have my phone in my pocket? It's going to count them. And he's just walking around through the woods on a lovely day. Yeah. Yeah.

These shots are great because it's like him walking at a distance. So he's, he's almost like, it's like a nature shot. And then like this little dude just cruises through it. And, and there's again, no sound except the sound of him, like crunching the ground and some tweeting and some crickets and shit. Yeah. So he walks back to where the other friends are and they're arguing about their missing friends.

And of course Troy is just like, they're probably in the woods, fucking man. Yeah, Troy says that they're not going anywhere because nothing is wrong. Yeah. So then he throws the keys to what I think is his car? I think so. Troy.

He's a loose cannon. He's an idiot. That's the one. Troy. He's a loose cannon. He's an idiot. That's the one. Yeah. Now Johnny has the keys. Yeah, the keys have a little little matchbox car on them. Yeah. So he takes off his mask, and that's when he learns,

we learned that he's the child. Is that one we learned? Yeah, because he's like, we a toy. Oh, I thought he was just doing some ghost shit. He hadn't had anything to play with in a long time. He's vroom vrooming with it. But how is he so big? Supernatural powers, man.

All right, man. All right. I like that. Not that he is risen from the dead is not the issue that you have a problem with. How did he grow? Christina and I were just talking about this last night, how you have to like suspend your disbelief in horror movies. And she's always like, but how's he paying his bills?

Nonetheless, the effects on Johnny's face are great. His teeth and eyes, like he is spooky to the core. He's got like those great out zombie eyes and like a real big cleft in his lips. So his teeth are sticking through. I don't normally like when you can see all of someone's teeth and their face in a, uh, horror makeup, but I've really liked this. Usually cause you're like, Oh, I know your other teeth are behind those. More teeth.

But this was those guys' teeth that he shoved his teeth out. Wow. He's a real good tooth. Shover. Really? Just like you're doing right now. I feel like I don't look like that. No, they don't look like that. Come on.

Come with it now. So yeah, like dump Troy and then they drive away on what I thought was a lawnmower. No, it's an it's a quad. It's an ATP. It was the slowest exit. Really tired. He, for some reason, the toy has pissed him off. So now he's moving at like double speed. Yeah. He's picked up the pace.

And it's like, he gets up, puts his hood back on, walks over, sticks a stick against the hood of the car to make the horn nonstop or against the steering wheel in the car to make the horn blow. It just indefinitely. It's so fucking stressful. And he does a lap around the house because he wants to give them time to come back outside, but not be able to see him. So he can come out and fucking murder them. And I was like, this kid who is now a man-sized kid, who's been buried in the ground for between 60 and 10 years. Somewhere. It seems like he's been buried at different times.

Yeah, yeah. He's a fucking brain genius. He's a strategic as fuck. I want to play chess in the park with this guy. He's going to destroy you. Yeah. But he stabs Troy in the leg. Yeah. Hatchets him. Yeah. Hatchets him. Right in the fucking leg. And then another guy comes out and just shoots him. He just had that gun. I guess they were shooting at the night before. Exactly.

Wow. It really is. They were firing it in the first act actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I was sure I'd never seen this guy before. This guy who might have never seen before is very helpful and knows what to do. It really doesn't matter. Like I appreciate that the film is like, you don't need to know who anyone is. There are, there are several white men and I think three women. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's all you need to know who anyone is. There are several white men and I think three women. That's it. That's all you need to know. Troy's girlfriend and the other two.

The lesbians, I guess. So Dickhead is hurt, but they're going to make a run for it. And then so the he Jason Voorhees is up, pops back up after being shot. Back on his feet, picks up a hatchet, stands there and you're like, okay, what's he doing now? And just shucks it into the back of the other dude's head. The guy who shot him. Yeah. The helpful guy. Yeah. Fucking amazing. So there's this like really lovely overhead shot of

the guy with the hatchet in the back of his head sprawled out on the ground and Troy is lying on the ground in front of him on his back and he's holding a giant chunk of concrete above his head. Something a big rock or something. And just drops it onto his head and his head explodes and it's just, ah, yes, this is my thing. I found it. I can die now. You know, some people need to go see the Mona Lisa.

Yeah. You, my friend. My kink is seeing shitty men have big rocks dropped on their head, is that okay?? Listen the only way I could nut You'll baby put on a violent nature Doing a doggy style so you can both watch in a violent nature. I always wanted it to be the Steelers game in that joke, but this'll do. Oh my God. Well, he knew Troy had the locket because he just goes to take it out of his pocket.

Right, he had seeded out the campfire that he shoved in his pocket. Yeah, but it's not there. No, he puts his big old fat fingers in there. He should see a doctor, you're right. Where is the locket currently? Oh, it's hanging around nice lady's neck. He gave it to his girlfriend.

She accepted this gift from him. She should not. I found you a woods necklace, baby. Thanks, but it's most definitely cursed. I apparently have a lot of childhood trauma that I'm working through, and I think you're a good idea, Troy. Yeah, it's true. I guess you're a good idea, Troy. Yeah, it's true.

I guess everyone has to go through a Troy phase though, don't they? Yeah, we've all been there. I may have had Troy's haircut. Did you look like a penis? Probably a penis with really long sideburns. That's a cool penis. And a goatee probably. Oh, that's a less cool penis. If I still have them,

we'll dig out the pictures from a prom that I went to where I had like that haircut and a goatee. What do I have to do to get you to look for these? I may have lost them in the divorce fire. Oh, what would she want with them? Who knows? Yeah. I'd better stare at them and curse my name. Let's not get into the divorce.

Hate your ex-wife. Lady comes back with the guy on the quad and they're like, but where is everybody? Yes, cause they have found the body of the guy who got his head cut off in the ranger station. Right. I wish I had been there for that. I realize it's not their story,

but I wish I'd been there for that. I realize it's not their story, but I wish I'd been there for that. And so they see him and take off. Yes. On the ATV. And go back to the ranger station. Right. Where there's a ranger. And he's pissed about the necklace. He says, that's his mother's necklace. It's the only thing keeping his soul at rest.

Well, then you should have put it away a little bit better. Why did you leave it? Why did you not put it on him? Have you never heard of a don't touch sign? Oh yeah. Yeah. Leave this be, especially if they're Airbnb in this cabin. You know what I'm saying? This is fucking dirt hut in the middle. Seriously. And the ranger says he's awake now. Yeah. Okay. But I love this because he just comes walking in while they're having a conversation. Like this is what I do. I walk places, and I show up. He's the ranger says to him, I remember what you did 10 years ago. And to me it looked like the ranger was wearing a prosthetic nose. Okay.

Was that costuming? Like, was he like, I thought, oh God, he he bit his nose off or something. Like they had had? Like was he like, I thought, Oh God, he, he, he bit his nose off or something. Like they'd had a confrontation and he lost his nose. Yeah. Or was it just like a bad lighting on bad lighting? I'm sure that man has a nose. Probably. Why you gotta put a prosthetic on him? Maybe he's like, I feel like this character has a much bigger nose than I. Rangers have to have bigger noses. All right, all right. So they can smell campfires. I was really expecting that to be more of something. Sure.

I will say before we get to it, the Rangers death I found to be a bit of a letdown. I just, I feel like they needed one more. So they wrote this in. This was like a later edition. But I feel like the tool that he's going to use, you could have done something a lot more exciting. I think so too. So yeah, the, the ranger is like scared and filled with exposition that he has to get out. Yeah. It's he's really seen some shit. He shoots Johnny. Yeah. And

someone says, is he dead? And he goes, no, but it'll certainly slow him down, but it doesn't. No. And he says they have to chain them up and put them in the ground at the fire tower because it's the only ground that can hold him. Right. Right. How does he know all this? Because his father was the only survivor of the OG massacre from 60 years ago. And his father put him in the ground initially.

Right. And then he put him in the ground 10 years prior. So now they've got to do it again. How often is Johnny getting out of bed here? Like every time a Troy comes around, he's just like, I need a drink of water. I want one more hug. I'm hungry. I'm cold. Mom, mama, mama.

Bad noise. Bad news about your mom, Johnny. Oh yeah. Here's your locket though. So Colt is Colt. He's the only one whose name I know because he's 35 years old. Yeah. Colt Cabana. Colt 45. Yes. Great job. Is too scared to chain him up. So they're going to switch. The ranger's going to give him the gun. He's going to take the chains and he says on the count of three, I'm going to pass the gun to you.

One, two, stop shaking. And then Johnny grabs it. And this is another great tension scene because the entire time you're like, well, Johnny's gonna kill me, obviously. Of course he is, of course he is. So he grabs the gun and the kids take off running. They're basically like,

there's nothing we can do for you, bye! And Johnny is able to get on top of the Ranger, flip him over and grab his spine and snap it. Yeah, it's gross. And like you see his spine ridged out through his shirt. Like a, like a dinosaur. I was like, Johnny, you perverted genius. I God damn love you. Really knows his way around the human anatomy.

Listen, I know it's going to take you the length of time that I have to walk around this cabin and come back out of your house. So it's so good. Yeah. He the ranger is now awake and alive, paralyzed. That's we've got like a ranger, like the camera is on the rangers face and you see Johnny walk into a little shed

and you hear a gas engine start up. And then he comes back out, hooks the ranger with his hook chains. The drag hooks, yeah. And drags him into the shed where we learned there's a log splitter. That's what that was. I don't know much about logging.

I was gonna ask you if you've ever used a log splitter knowing the answer is no. I don't know much about logging. I was gonna ask you if you've ever used a log splitter, knowing the answer is no. I'm too pretty. Is that what you're, is that what your implication? I'm just too city. Yes, that's the one. They're very fun. I bet.

And like extremely dangerous. It looks dangerous both from the perspective of like the blade and the pressure and also like the flying of logs potentially. Well, it's really slow. So it just like hits them and it's and also like the flying of logs potentially. Well, it's really slow. So it just like hits them. And it's basically like an axe head that goes into him just slowly pushes them apart. Okay. So they don't go flying. They don't go flying. I got you. They should. That's more fun. Let's make it more dangerous. Punch about the air and old pile. But I was like, Oh,

he's going to throw him on there and art style by for Kate, this human being, this, this accent is going to throw him on there. An art style bifurcate this human being. This accent is going to go into his crotch. Right in that loom scented crotch. I just split this man in half. Stop talking about loom. Well, once, when they stop sponsoring the podcast, I'll stop talking about loom.

Look, they're never going to sponsor the podcast because we said that loom smells like pussy already. And so much so that I yelled at you, you don't need double pussy just earlier tonight. Which I feel like your neighbors must over here and think, Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, double pussy's back. You don't need double pussy.

Just smells like pussy. Loom smells like pussy, I'm sorry. I can't remember where, somewhere we got a message from somebody that was like, Katie was right. I use loom. It smells like pussy already. It's horrifying. I guess it works then. Yeah. Well, I mean, uh, like by transitive properties, one's going to cancel the other one. Yeah, We just don't know which and nor does it matter. So he uses the log splitter to first cut off his hand. Yeah.

Which is just like, all right, you're just being rude. Do you think he was just testing it? I mean, he's a child. Maybe he needed to like figure it out. I used to take GI Joes apart all the time when I was a kid. Yeah. This is the same basic premise. I think so. Yeah. And then he's like, okay, well, take that arm. What's it going to do to a head? You're gonna take that whole head. Yeah. So it is, it is a bit of a letdown, but I don't know what the budget for this movie was like. Sure. Yeah.

We don't have bifurcation in the budget, my friends. No, but in this whole scene, the log splitter is making this like horrible, loud clanking banging noise. It is, and it goes on for so long. Because you see him like set up both of the cuts. Yeah. It's just the sound design in this movie is so stressful. And it's been so quiet up until this point. So this seems like, it's probably not loud, but it seems like ear piercing. Absolutely. And there's no, there's not a lot of dialogue. Like there's very few words spoken in this movie.

Yeah. Until the end of the movie when all the words that have ever been spoken happen. Yeah, I wanna speak of that. And I will now read you, Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Finschen. Yeah, so there's just this whole long shot of the like blade bit coming back

while the machine is just continuing to clank loudly and Johnny's just standing there. In a pool of this man's blood. Yeah, what are you doing Johnny? He's a weird dude. So now, the kid who was previously too afraid to chain him up while he was unconscious is like, Johnny, come and get us.

We're right here. Does the Jennifer love you? What are you waiting for? I wish we knew if he was spinning while he was saying it. Or his huge tits on display. Just a rack that won't quit. Make more of those. Tits. I know we used last summer's, but tits are great too. I was like, they pick a lot.

They're getting made every day. Brand new tits. This is fucked, change the subject. They yell at him and then they're like, oh my God, he sees us. Like, yes, you yelled at him, you fucking ding-dongs. So Johnny comes a-coming when he gets called. Johnny comes marching home again.

Raw. He hits fucking Chad or Chonk or whatever. This is Colt. Colt 45. Right in the fucking face with his ad shit. It's funny because Colt is like, I'll distract him so you can get up to set the trap in the fire tower and Gets right behind him and yells come on you ugly son of a bitch, but like you're within arms reach of a man with a hatchet

Who is very very fond of murdering people? Yes, don't stand so close to yell at him And this lady just watching her friend get his face absolutely mauled. Lady watches her friend get sauced. Yeah, he does. It's like he's basically putting an immersion blender into cold. Yes. He looks like the beginning of the witch. Yeah. Pulp that baby. If you want to fly.

She's still wearing that damn locket though. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. So she takes off the locket. She's taking off the locket very slowly. He could see she's like snapped. Yeah. Yeah. And while she's taking off the locket, while she's looking around, he's still just smashing away at the kid's head in the background. It's he's making sure this kid's dead. He doesn't want to come back after him. He is not coming back. He knows that reanimation is a possibility and he just does not want to see it happen.

I guess so. I mean, he's firsthand experience, lived experience. So she takes it off and she hangs it on the gas can that she has. Yeah. Which is next to one of those traps, one of those animal traps. Right. And then just runs headlong into the woods. And this is another great bit of sound design because they just amp up the bug

noises. Yeah. It's like loud animal sounds and like pounding. And like real quick cuts of her, like spitting around to see if anyone's chasing her. How do you get a stick in your leg like that though? I don't think you, how fast would you have to be fucking running? What's her leg made out of? would you have to be fucking running? What's her leg made out of? No, Plato leg over there.

I mean, what the fuck? All right, fine. She gets a stick in the leg. Yeah, a whole ass stick. A whole ass stick that she has to pull out. Now it's bleeding everywhere. So she makes it out to road. Yeah.

In wood. And I was like, oh no, it's a Texas chainsaw massacre ending. Exactly. It's framed exactly like that. And I think they want you to think that because the next. And it's like, oh no, it's a Texas chainsaw massacre ending. Exactly. It's framed exactly like that. And I think they want you to think that because the next. And it's like a red truck, just like in, wasn't he? I think it was green, but it doesn't,

pickup truck, pickup truck. And so the next, I don't know, 45 minutes of this movie. This is when I started speeding it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, lady, what are you talking about? She's like, she gets picked up by this lady and you're like, fuck, this lady is going to kill. Yes. She's going to take her back to the barbecue. Exactly. And the lady picks her up and she's like, Hey, let's talk. I want to keep you awake. You've had a bad shock.

I don't want you to fall asleep. That's a very long story about her brother being a game warden, getting mauled by a bear 30 years ago. Is this supposed to be another story about Johnny having woken up? He never saw the bear, right? Yeah. Yeah. The bear just held him down until he thought he was dead and left. Yeah. Um, so who knows? But like the whole time. They saw black bear tracks though. So unless Johnny had like little bear track shoes, I don't know.

I don't know about that. Adorable. I guess it'd be big bears have big feet. They have real big feet. Two when I was in the woods the other day, we passed this like big pile of shit and I was like, what's up bear? Bear shit. Oh, bears. I'm scared of bears. Yeah. Yeah. I'm scary.

And I was definitely in bear territory. Yeah. Baritory. I was going to do it for you, too, because I saw your face light up like a fucking Christmas tree. He loves a poor man, too. I'm going to get there first. Bear-atory! I'm going to take it from him. That's what friends are for.

No, no, give me your joy. Give me your joy. In this scene, I kept imagining that the girl was just going to open the truck tour and just, like, tumble out onto the road because this lady won't stop fucking talking. Oh, just like Walter and the big Lebowski. And it's an excruciatingly long scene. It's so long. And it's just there to like build this tension.

And so finally she's like bleeding out and the lady's like, I have to put a tourniquet on you because you're literally filling my truck with blood. This is disgusting. And I don't want that, yeah. So she's gonna do it. And there's this long shot of necklace lady, former necklace lady, now necklace-less,

staring into the wood. And they're like, Long shot. Johnny's gonna walk out of the woods. He's gonna walk out of those woods. Even though she's driven a really long time and there's no way to slow walk in motherfucker except that it's a slasher movie. And as we know from whatever that was that movie called Bertram Russell behind the mask. Oh, Leslie Vernon.

I loved it. It's great. And you got to do a lot of cardio. And yeah, so this in this shot of the woods, like the wind picks up, so everything starts moving because you're always just like looking for movement. The winds picks it up and starts moving everything and you're like, where is it? And then it's just random shots of nature. And I said, in my notes, is this the violent nature?

If he's sorry, and say it again, maybe I'll get it this time. Is this the violent nature? I'm doing a thinking hand against my face. No, you're also doing it. Yeah. I see your pose is very pensive. Is this violent nature? Flush that out for me. I don't know. Okay, good, good, good. The last shot is just like a trap and then the gas can without the necklace.

Without the necklace. Does that mean he went back to bed? I guess so. Okay. That seems good. Back on the pipe, go back to sleep. It seems great that that happened. The end. Oh man. And that is in a violent nature as requested by a bunch of ding-dongs. Yeah. A bunch of ding-dongs. No, thank you for introducing me to this. I really enjoyed it. Oh. It was wild. Katie. What?

What's your rating on this movie? Okay, so I appreciate that it's only 90 minutes because I meant I could get up at six instead of 530. Yeah. For a short movie, it feels pretty long. Sure. I get what they're doing. That's not necessarily for me. All this tension building. I'm like, come on, come on, come Sure. I get what they're doing. That's not necessarily for me.

Yeah. All this tension building. I'm like, come on, come on, come on. I'm impatient. I'm a modern woman. I've got places to be. I watch the TikToks. I don't have time for this.

Yes. I know how to even watch them. I know how to dougie. I'm familiar with your culture. I do know how to dougie. See, that one I get. That makes sense to me. It was 20 years ago.. See that one I get that makes sense to me. 20 years.

That's right. When all good things seized to be, uh, I'm going to give this a seven and a half. I thought it was really gory. I liked just not having to pretend to care about people's lives who are about to get murdered anyway. I liked the whole flipping it on its head. I enjoyed it. And the kills were fantastic.

What about you? So third time in, really liked it when it wasn't doing it for the podcast, because I could just, absorb myself in it. I don't have to worry about taking notes, don't have my phone in my hands. So it's definitely, and it's definitely a movie that's like,

do you like horror movies? This cannot be your first horror movie. No, this will confuse you. This will mess you up. But it's definitely, it's a love letter to slashers. And I think it's a really interesting take on it, of like the meditative slasher movie. Yeah.

What'd you say, 7.5? That's what I said. Yeah, 7.5's great. Yeah. What'd you say, 7.5? That's what I said. Yeah, 7.5 is great. Great. Perfect for this. All right. Yeah. In a violent nature. In a violent nature. Not because I hate her.

Katie. Maybe this is why people write songs about how they hate you. I'm just kidding. That was mean. My friend played bass in the band that has a song about them hating me. Or the singer hating me he loves me and he was like every time we would play that song I would just think about how great you are. I have played that song for many a friend and been like you've heard the song before and they're like yeah yeah and I'm like oh this is about what an

asshole Alan is. It's about what an asshole Alan was at 19 which which I concur with. You got a hit song, man. Hard agree. All right, let's move on. Katie. Alan. Can I read you an email that we received? You sure can. Dear Alan and Katie, both of us.

Oh, great. Hi. Just wanted to let you know that you are the only thing that's keeping me from going over the edge after election day. Oh, no, it can't be us. Crying emoji, crying emoji, crying emoji. Yes, same. One day I was full of hope and the next day nothing but despair.

Please keep doing what you do for all our sakes. Whoa, no pressure. You both are amazing. Never failing to put a smile on my face and for that, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm a 67 year old Italian puppy grandma that thinks you rock. Ciao, Pat. Pat, thank you for writing in.

That last line threw me for a loop. Yeah, I knew it would. Hi, Pat. Well, thank you. I'm glad that we can be support for you, but also we are fucking suffering. Sorry, we had to take last week off. I couldn't, I literally couldn't.

It's all good. Yeah, we can do it. Yeah, that's what friendship is, man. Friendship is letting people ride for a little bit. Can I point out that that means I had two weeks to watch In A Violent Nature, and I watched it this morning. Why do I do this?

You want the freshest take on a movie when we come to sit down and talk about it. Well, good thing you people aren't Patron's because I watched Kung Fu Hustle a few weeks ago. I think that's the name of the movie. That is what it's called, right? I just had a moment of fear. 100%

Okay, great. I'm just saying after two weeks, oh wow, you grabbed your chest and everything. Oh my, have I done the wrong? I declare. Pearls must be clutched. Katie. Yeah. We're going to do another movie next week?

It'll be episode fucking 500. It's going to be episode 500. Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow, pow. I don't like the finger guns when you do it. It feels ominous. It's because I just have one and I point it at you. Pow, pow, pow, pow. While sliding my other thumb across my throat. It's because I just have one and I point it at you. Pow, pow, pow, pow. While sliding my other thumb across my throat. Don't do that to me.

We have a very special episode planned for next week. Yes. It was your idea, why don't you describe it to them? We're going to watch a little movie together. Together, we're gonna watch it together and then record? Like we used to do for the first, however many episodes, we watched them all together. How did we have time to do that? What did we think was a good idea? We were, we were just on babies. I was 30 years old. I was so

cute. I was 40. I looked exactly the same. That's cool. You have an age. You're ageless. Yeah. I'm a real timeless boy. We're going to watch the Glenn dancing classic, not in theaters. Never been in theaters. Did not respond to my response, my request for a presser of the film. So I bought the motherfucker on digital versatile disc and it is called, Oh, I don't remember death rider in the house of a thousand corpses. Right? Hold on. Death Rider in the House of a Thousand Corpses, right? Hold on.

Death Rider. Death Rider in the House of the Vampires. This movie is the final film of Julian Sands. Fuck, that poor man. Starring Danny Trejo, Devin Sawa, Julian Sands. Probably a bunch of porn stars. Oh, Ashley Wisdom, Yula Kay, Rachel Richie. And Glenn, the fucking jaw that could slice watermelons.

Yeah, Glenn Danzig. It's got a 30% on rotten tomatoes. That's shockingly high. What does Veronica have? I'll look that up while we talk. So we're going to do that. Originally we were going to get drunk and do it. Oh, I'm still going to get drunk and do it. So you're still going to get drunk. Well, you're off the sauce, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, bad news. You're going to be, can you drive me home afterwards? Thank you. Good news for me. Bad news. You're going to be, can you drive me home afterwards? Thank you. Good news for me.

What's Veronica got? Veronica has a 22% on Rotten Tomatoes. So maybe he's getting better. Maybe he's getting better. How do you top anal sex? My speciality? So come back for episode 500. Oh, Ashley wisdom is also in the, she's the woman with the eyes on her boobs. A reprise hopefully of that role. Oh my God.

I'm going to watch Veronica again to get ready for this. Oh, thank God. It's a poor Manto of what violence and erotica. But with a K. Oh yeah, I'm gonna get drunk during this, I'm so sorry. Maybe I'll get drunk too, who can say? Look, I think you owe it to yourself. I'm not trying to tell you what to do,

but you owe it to yourself. So come back for that. For our 500th episode. Nah, don't even say it. I love it. I love doing this with you. It's so fun. When it stops being fun, we'll stop doing it. Exactly. To 500 more. To 500 more, which will put us in what? 6, 700? I don't know. I don't matter. It's really, really confusing. Come back for that. Thank you so much to everyone who's a Patron. You can find us at Patron, patreon.com slash werewolf ambulance.

Thanks everybody who's been buying T-shirts and T-public. Thank you to everyone who's on the Discord. What a beautiful community in the aftermath of something happening last Tuesday. Something happened? I don't know what you mean by that. This amazing supportive group of people like trying to figure out how we move forward

through all of this. And yeah, thank you to, and the Reddit community as well is very sweet. Yeah, I'm really enjoying the subreddit lately. I really enjoyed the Spice Girls roller skating video that was on there. Thank you so much to whomever posted that. I lost my fucking mind.

Like it has nothing to do with horror, but you just knew that like we would like it and we fucking loved it. I'm pretty sure we have so spliced up your life on this podcast. Everybody let it go. Oh man, at some point we should do the Spice Girls movie. Is it an action movie?

Sure. Put it up for a vote next month. Yeah, and now we're gonna go record a movie or an episode of a Kung Fu hustle. So if you want to be a patron and listen to that, get on it. I might suggest not doing it this month because I'm reading through my notes and actually about to panic because I have no idea what happened. So sorry. Y'all are great.

Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Yeah. Joy is an act of resistance. Here we go. Take care of yourselves. Take care of each other. Yeah. Joy is an act of resistance. Here we go. Let's do this. Burn it to the ground, baby. And then build it back up better. Yeah. Build back better. Someone should use that. Someone should use that. God, is that something? I don't know.

Dark Brandon out. Oh my God. Please just end this episode. He's just saying the thing. can't just hit the button. Thanks for listening to the Road to the Red Dead Redemption. Bye! Bye-bye. Into infinite skewful film reviews Killer clowns and member face Kill him and let him out of his space Appearance I've got to see a face Please make eye-continue grave

EMT Morrow and comedy reviews Hungry Brian from Wings and Stephen King EMT We live deliciously by tempered trees Obese mercy come to die A paranormal act of disease From Mr. Roger Stinney

EMT, EMT