Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 5- Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973)

Episode Date: November 24, 2014

If you're traveling for the holiday this week, you could do worse than downloading our special Thanksgiving episode of Werewolf Ambulance, "Godmonster of Indian Flats". Why is it the special Thanksgiving episode? You'll have to wait until the end to find out. This is our very first guest episode that features our friend Carrie, who brought us this cult classic. Where to begin with this one? We discuss such topics Six Flags: New Jersey, art cars, political "intrigue", a proliferation of vests, extreme racism, the real reasons women get into STEM jobs and the "Eraserhead" baby. Who were we rooting for in this movie? What is a Godmonster, anyway? All of this will be revealed in Episode 5! Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

I think. Hello and welcome to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. I'm here with Katie. Hi, Alan. And we have a special guest, our first guest, Carrie. Hi, guys. Hi, Carrie. I'm very, very excited to be here today. We're very excited to have you. Yeah. Very stoked. Very stoked. Hi guys. Hi Carrie. I'm very very excited to be here today. We're very excited to have you. Yeah, very stoked. We asked Carrie to bring a movie that she enjoyed for us to watch and talk about. And she did. Why don't you tell us about it, Carrie? Well the movie I bought in, in my defense I hadn't seen it in about 10 years, but I remembered really liking it when I saw it.

It's called The God Monster of Indian Flats, 1973. It's a fabulous movie about mutant sheep and racism. Or something. Yeah, and a wild west town that is somehow still in existence? Yeah, that confused me actually. Let's start there. So the bulk of this movie takes place in Virginia City, Nevada, which appears to be an entire town consisting of a six flags Wild West photo shoot place.

I wrote down that it is set in an indeterminate year because some people are dressed like it's the 70s and some people are dressed like it's like 1870s. It was obviously because of banana days. Which I thought were banana days, so I don't know. In our ongoing watching movies and probably not their best format, we watched this one online, and once again the sound was pretty junky on this one. But the dialogue was, some people were fine, and then other people like their, the ADR on them

was just, it was so booty. I couldn't understand anything they were saying. Yeah, it was not good. their, I think what was written for them to say was also probably not good And I'm sure the original recording was not that great either right I mean and then added at the fact that they did the thing where they Just shot the blue light for night for over half the movie so it was also possible to see anything So you couldn't see you couldn't hear and I think they were probably all drunk too. Yeah, there was definitely there was definitely. their the the the their their their their their their their they they they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were probably they were probably they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were probably they were they were they were probably they were probably they were probably they were they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably th. th. th. th. the thi the. the. the. the. they were probably probably probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably they were probably Yeah. So they were, it was like six flags? Photo shoot. Yeah. There was a legitimate whorehouse.

Yes, it was not just a six flags set whorehouse. It was an actual whorehouse. They have hordels and six flags? I think they do. Maybe six flags New Jersey. They did keep referring to Virginia City. They did keep referring to Virginia City, Nevada, putting it on the map, sir. they did keep referring to Virginia City, Nevada, putting it on the map, and I was like, this town

is not on the map, sirs. Well, historically it is because it's where the Comstock mine was, which is where a very like famous gold rush town. Oh, like I remember learning about it in like middle school. Oh I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, so it's like legit historically. Oh great. So yeah like they at one point they mentioned Ulysses S. Grant spoke there in 1874 or something. These are real things that really happened. I guess so. I thought it was a made-up place. No, no. I went to public school. And... Condemnation of the Pittsburgh school system. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. And actually I did, in revisiting this film for this occasion, I did a little bit of research and I found out that the director slash writer,

slash producer, Frederick Hobbs actually owned one of the historical buildings in the school school school school school school school school school school school, the the public the public the the public the public the the the public the the public the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I went to to to to to to to th. I went th. I went to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to public school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school school. I to to the the the the the the I found out that the director slash writer slash producer, Frederick Hobbs actually owned one of the historical buildings in Virginia City, which is why it was filmed there. Yeah. He was apparently an artist and he claims to have invented the art car. What is an art car? It's a car with art all over it. And he made a few of these that had like different names

like Sun Dancer and stuff and would drive them around to I guess annoy people. Yeah. Or bring art to them. Cool. I'm assuming it's some sort of like burning man thing where they all make the weird cars and drive them around. Great. So he also made this art movie. Yeah, one of... one of four films that he made. Okay. You have some familiarity with the the the the the the other the other the other thiiiiiiii the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thr-a thi. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. thr. to to to to thr. to thr. to thr. thr. thrown thr. thr. thr.. Yeah. One of four films that he made. Okay. You have some familiarity with his other work, don't you? Actually, the only familiarity I have is, and this is something I suggest as a double feature if you plan to watch this film, is he made another movie called Roseland, and

I've only seen one scene of it, but it is a doozy. You can look it up on YouTube. It is called You Cannot Fart Around with Love. It is a musical number, black and white, in which it is a musical number that's being filmed in a studio and at the same time everybody who's sort of behind the scenes doing the filming and working the little room in the back with the TV sets, they're all smoking drugs. And it's an incredibly catchy song and it's called you cannot cannot you you you you you you you you you you you you you you can you can you can you can you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't th fart th farted you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't you can't th fart. th fart the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi back with the TV sets, they're all smoking drugs. And it's an incredibly catchy song and it's called You Cannot Fart Around with Love. You can't.

You can't. Absolutely recommend it. Check it out on YouTube. I like the double feature is this crappy movie and then a scene from another film. That's how I originally was shown. This ists' work for the first time. How did this come into your life 10 years ago? Yeah, I was in college. I think it was my senior year and my friend was like, hey, I found this incredible cult movie.

We got a whole bunch of people together and watched it and we were just in disbelief. This was an actual movie. I assumed maybe you had seen it on TV after you had your tonsils pulled out and that's why you enjoyed it. Oh, Alan. No, that would be Zoolander. I'm sorry. I mean, I think the name is slightly misleading because the God monster does not show up until about an hour

and ten into this hour and 30 movie. The first hour and 10 is political intrigue in this, in Virginia City. Which was not that intriguing. Consciousness raising. Yeah. A lot of racism towards one particular gentleman named Barnstable. It already is. How could you gentleman named Barnstable. How could you forget Christopher Barnstable? I was going with Bartleby, the scrivener.

Everybody in this movie had the weirdest names. Yeah, which is why I couldn't remember them. They were specifically trying not to have the disclaimer where no at the end of movies were like, none of these things are actual depictions of real people, because no one is named Mariposa de Quill. No, that's not a real person. It wasn't a real name, it was not real hair. No, it was not real hair.

I'll tear you. That was a beautiful head of hair the Mariposa to Quill. It looked like a cabbage. That you like left in the rain and then it dried, thied, thied, thied, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was a, was, was, was, was, was a, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was a th. And, was, was a thi... And, was a the the the the the the thi.. And, was a the thi, was a thi, was a thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi like this is not salvageable. I think that Eddie Somaha would disagree with you on that. I, Hattelvesia, whatever his name was, he looked like Peter Brady so I referred to him in my notes as Peter Brady. He I thought was going to be our main character. But then he was not really in the film for the rest of it. He, I can, can someone just explain what happens at the beginning? I don't know. I don't know.

Okay, so Peter Brady works on a sheep farm. He spends the day in Reno, strikes it rich. Well wearing a wolf pelt vest. He apparently on the first quarter he puts in the machine, he wins a bunch of money. So he takes his winnings to Virginia City. Oh, no, he ran into some abroad and she's like, oh, let's go live it up in Virginia, Virginia City. Oh, that's when Alpo Johnson.

Oh, that's when Alpo Johnson. Oh, the man's name is Elbow Johnson. Definitely sounded like Alpo Johnson. So they go and they go back to the saloon where apparently the Elks Lodge Banjo Club is the entertainment. And they have got Mack tonight on the piano. And he gets robbed blind and gets a lift back and ends up back in the sheep pen where he spends the night for some reason, even though that's apparently where he lives. Yeah. Just drunk? I don't know.

He was like cuddling one of them. I think he really loves them. Yeah. He kept calling them. . They're cute. They're cute. I like sheep. Adroable. But you don't want to sleep in their pen. No, very stinky. Very stinky. He knows that. He lives there. Anyway, carry on. Oh, so he's sleeping in the pen all of a sudden,

a great golden light breaks out and one of the sheep gives birth to a fetus, probably the size and shape of like a large pizza. This was my first confused note, which was aliens? Pancakes? Because I didn't understand what was happening. What was flying where and who was doing what with whom? So confusing to me. So the next morning, Dr. Clemens. Yeah, Curseley Adams looked a motho-a-motho. He, you know he's a professor because he squints a lot and he kind of talks in a very authoritative

voice like this and he speaks like this through the entire movie, which is really grading. His voice reminded me of this, uh, if you ever watch the old Superman serials where there's like the news edits between scenes like the dude's voice reminded me. He comes to check on Peter Brady, Eddie with his research assistant. Mariposa de Quill. Right. Whom I originally referred to my notes as Dr. Quinn. I don't know why. Um. It weren't far off though. No. No. It's a wig, I think. Very. And the leather vest. Yes. She didn't wear a bodkin bodkin. So many vests in this movie. Just a plethora of vests. Don't cry, Kitty. It's going to be okay. I don't know. I can't. I'm already lost. They find the fetus. Luckily these scientists were here to check on him and find the

fetus of the sheep. They were like, this is crazy. And it reminded Dr. Clemens of something. I don't, that, I was, so they take it back to his lab, which appears to be an unfinished parking garage high above the town. But you know it's a lab because it has the periodic table of elements poster? And like just a very vague human anatomy poster. Oh, so yeah. And what looks like a pet shop pen full of rabbits. Yeah, little bunnies just crawling all over each other. So they build some sort of containment unit to raise this fetus.

And this is not even the main plot of the movie. No, you're like, oh I see what they're doing here. They're going to have this monster. Yeah. This is the beginning of a creature feature. It's like maybe. It Slow your roll in an hour, this is going to pay off. Maybe. Maybe. So we sort of forget about them for a little while because. Well, Barnstable comes into the picture. Yeah.

And this is this plot, I was just kind of like blah about. The problem I had with the main plot about it, which is this barnstable guy's trying to buy up some mine land and principal is an African-American gentleman who is in a town of all white people the lone African-American gentleman and they are just not having any part of him basically and the the entire town it's basically owned and run by this Charles Silverdale and he does not want to sell the land and that is pretty much the entire plot for the book of the movie and he has like a really smarty right-hand man named Philip. Maldo.

Philip Maldo. Yeah, or as I just refer to him, Whispy Stash, because he has the grossest puby Whispy Stash. And terrible bangs, just like bangs. Ugh. And that art garfunkle vest, turtle-neck looks in this today. But it's like 15 different like outfit changes for each scene. Like he just keeps ripping back in with the new like Sunny Bono wear like yeah. The amount of buckskin in this film is outstanding. It's a vegan nightmare. Oh there's the the scene where they go to the heat list so so Whispystash is trying to track down what Dr. Clemens is Dr. Clemens is Dr. Clemens is the the to Dr. Clemens is Dr. Clemens is up. Cl. Cl. Cl-is is up. Cl-in is up. Cl-in's. Cl-up. Cl-up. Cl-o. Cl-up. Cl-up. Cl-up. the to the the to the they. they. to to they. Oh, to to to to to to to to to ttae. ttau. ttau-up. ttau-up. ttau-up. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. ttau. tta. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their-n. their-n. their-n. their-nip-nip-he. te. I. I's-I. I's-I. He's-I. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. He's te. Heless so Whispystash is trying to track down what Dr. Clemens is up to so he goes to the dump and meets Burl Ives I think

I think. I thought they even went to the, why did he even go to the dump? Because the old man with the pithell the dump is walking around stabbing trash. Oh yeah and then they the professor happens theyterterterterterter. I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the they. the they. they. they. I the the the the the the the they. I thuuze. I thuze. I thu. I thu. I'll thu. I the the the. I the. the. the. th. th. th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they they they and they dig through it and find that it just smells bad. The guy, WhispyStash pulls out a glove and then goes, ah, it smells bad. What is going on? Was I asleep for this? Did this happen? Okay, that happened? I have glove sniffer when written on my nose.

That's a spinal tap. Smell the glove. So have you could cut the sexual attention in this dump with a knife. Because when those two dudes were talking, they were just like inches apart the entire time. So weird. Yeah, who was narly. Was that before or after?

Dr. Clemens and Mariposa, DeQuil went into the mine and found. T, the bones. the into the mine and found the bones. This was before. Okay. When they went to the bone zone? It was the literal bone zone. You're all fired. You're enjoying this podcast by yourself now.

This is also before, uh, or the next scene is Mariposa and the sheepskin kid. I can't read Eddie. Eddie. Going to the graveyard and standing on the monument to Chief Willa Nucca? Sure. And then Virginia City's lone gotthe is staring at them from behind a tree. Was that Madame Elka?

Alta? Elpa? Who runs the whorehouse? And reach fortunes. And he's in... Whatever. I just saw my note Dr. Clemens is some bullshit. Here's the problem with this movie.

It introduces you, here's one of the problems with this movie. It introduces you to every single person who lives in this town, like 30 people in the first 15 minutes, and then it's like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, tho, and, and, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, and, and, and, thi, th lives in this town like 30 people in the first 15 minutes and then it's like just watch what they do first it could be this movie could be taking place over three days or three months like I don't know and you just watch them and you don't know what they're doing I don't know I don't know if it was the 70s trip but I was it was kind of like Nashville Robert Altman did not know what he was doing like at all. I kept waiting for have you guys ever seen 2000 Maniacs the Hirschberg Gordon Lewis movie these like people drive into an old town that's like having a festival day celebrating the town from the Civil War banana days sort of like

banana days and then like horrendous murders ensue because it turns out they're all ghosts well I like that it's a good movie so I kept waiting for that that. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th of th of th of the they. thus thus thus their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thus. their the the the the the the thea tea tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. their thea. their their their their thue because it turns out they're all ghosts. Wow, I like that. It's a good movie. So I kept waiting for that to happen in this movie. And I'm like, oh, something good's gonna... Nope, no, just Dr. Clemens is going to talk more fucking bullshit. I don't know what is going on. I feel like he just opened a science textbook and was like, these are words are words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words to to to to to to to to you, I kept expecting this to be more like a creature movie where the creature was going to bust out and just like wreak havoc, which...

No. None of this happened. No, it was like a light western mixed with a political thriller. Without the thrill part, mixed with a political. A taught political. Oh, man. So then they end up in the mine and they're digging through the loose dirt that's got bones in. Why are they in the mine? Because that's where the doctor remembered he saw the thing that reminded of the other thing. Because when they're in the lab he's like, this is this

amazing fossil I found. And it looks like a, like a, like a, like a, like a caterpillar fetus. Yeah. He shows it to, he shows it to it. I don't think that does exist. He shows it to Eddie and Eddie just touches it with his hand, like a meat palm, just, not gracefully, just smashes his hand. Why, Eddie, he the they, he they, he they, he they. He he they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He, he. He. He. He? He. He. He. He's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He he kept saying to Mariposa to Quill too. They first have an inexplicable romance. They're just boning for no reason. They were just like we need somebody to fuck in this movie. I love the part where the, you know, the

professors, he's working on this, this fetus that they're keeping alive miraculously and seems to be really dire and everything and he's like well I got their their their their their their they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're keeping alive miraculously and seems to be really dire and everything and he's like, well, I gotta go get something to eat, I'm hungry as hell, and he leaves, and they're immediately making out, like full mouth, French kisses in front of this like, hideous, twisted fetus that appears to be in pain. It's just really disturbing. It was like a tool video was happening in the background of what they were doing. They didn't care. No. She was a terrible scientist. Yeah, she didn't seem really committed. No. I like how that's kind of a trope of like like the quasi-sexy research assistant. Yeah, not really committing. Yeah. Just in it for the bone zone. Yeah, going to the bone zone.

Who gets in, what kind of woman gets into going to the bone zone. Who gets in... What kind of woman gets into science to fuck though? You know? This is not a good message to send to our like young, young women get into STEM for fucking. What the fuck? Have we described the plot yet? So they're in the mine. Yeah, I think everyone's got it right now. Clear as day. So they're in the mine. They're digging through the loosely packed earth.

Mariposa gets some poison? There's gas is released. It's phosphorus gas. the smell. Gotcha. And she falls in such a dramatic way. It's such a part like a... She practiced that fall in front of a mirror in so... in her hotel room so many times. She's not in a hotel room.

No. I don't know why I said that. These people are probably sleeping in somebody's living room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's only four buildings in towards. Yeah. So she falls down. Dr. Clemens

takes her outside and slabs her, and she's fine. That's the scene ends. He says something like, I drink this water. Normally you'd want to eat food to get rid of this, but you seem to be a strong constitution. Yeah, guess you're not hungry, Mariposa. That's kind of where my notes end to thiae. thinin, the thin, th. thin, th. th. thin, the thin, th. th. thin, thin, thin, their, thin, their, thin, thin, their, their, th. their, their, their, their, their, their, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. That's, the scene, the scene. the scene. the scene. the scene. the the the the the the the the the the, the, the. thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the scene, the scene, the scene, the scene, before I started taking notes again. Well, there's so many good scenes that just do not tie into each other at all. There is a dog funeral. Oh, yeah, let's talk about the dog funeral. Okay, so banana days.

Barnstable still trying to buy up this land on behalf of the Wright organization, Mr. Wright, something like that. Yeah, some big Eastern company. I thoub. I thought it was ri. I th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the th. th. tha. th. th. their. their. their. their. tha. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tog. tog. tog. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. tog. togu. tog tog togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. tue. Wright, something like that. Yeah, some big Eastern company. I thought it was Reich. I thought they kept saying Reich. Oh no, I think Wright. Okay, all right. Barnes Staples having trouble winning people over because he is of the African-American persuasion. So he thinks the best way to go about trying to just fit in with banana days so and then he was just shooting because apparently people are just shooting. There are like children running around in the streets and he's just firing wildly. But lots of people are firing wildly. It's just the ethos of the town. An accident waiting to happen. Anyways it it is, it is, uh, the arms, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, it is, the arms, the arms, the arms, the arms, the arms, the arms, the arms, th. th. th arms, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi, thi thi thi thoom. Am th th. Am th. Am th. Am thoom. Am th. Am thi. Am thi. Am th. Am th. Am th. Am th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, th. Am, thi. Am, thi. Am, thi, thi, thi, thi. Am I thi. Am I thi. Am I thi. Am I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's just the ethos of the town.

An accident waiting to happen. Anyways, it is the crooked sheriff? Right, who I thought was a werewolf briefly. Because he growls a lot. He did growl. Very her suit also. Mm-hmm. Nice chops. Good chops.

He pretends that his dog is shot by this gentleman, leading to a pivotal dog funeral scene. It's so weird. When we say dog funeral. Full on. Church. In a church. Church.

White children's casket. It is a children's casket. Closed. Yeah. An alarming number of children present. Warners? Yes. Receiving line.

The quickest receiving line I've ever seen anywhere. Hmm. Yeah. Duh. It was a dog. The dog's not dead everybody. So you don't have to hear me rant on and on about animals dying in films this time.

He was just a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I dying in films this time. He was just pretending. Really well-trained German Shepherd. I have the note, Dog Lives On. He was sent out of town to Noah would see him around. Sure I am going to miss that dog though, says the sheriff. That is one thing about this movie is that hardly anybody does. Yeah, really low body count. Yeah, yeah. Almost disappointingly low. More people deserve to die honestly. Yeah, by the end of it, we were like... I was hoping for just mass death. Just take out everybody. I just wanted to dig a grave and put them all in it. I could just drop a bomb on Virginia City honestly. So this was all part of like a smear campaign. The shit just got dark. This was all part of a smear campaign against Barnstable so that no one would sell their

land to him basically. Right. So why did they have to frame him for an attempted murder later? Oh, because he threw the pies, he convinced children to throw pies at WhispySash. This is fucking not bullshit. I have the note, the leaps of logic are astounding in this movie, and then what the fuck is going on. Because I just, at some point, I just, I don't know if I lost complete interest in the film,

or if it just stopped making sense. Like it was just, I'm done with this movie. Just checked out. I think it just, they could have shortened up the political entriag a bit. They could have just made it a monster movie. Yeah. What do you think went wrong with this? Why did they not just... Whispy stash. That's what went wrong.

That was it. They showed him shaving at one point, why? Because he had pies like that. He gets pie thrown at him and then shaves. The next season he's shaving. We're just very un-nobstable. I hear banana cream is great for the pores, yeah. Yeah, really cleans you out.

So he basically frames, he shoots himself and frames barnstable for it. And then they try to lynch him. They basically put a hood over him and take him out. There's like, he's taken from a jail cell and then the scene cuts and the next scene is a noose. And you're like, what, at that point we don't carry that she was fired and we hated her. The note word movie, lynching a black man worked? Yeah. Really that's the best you could do? Then we realize this wasn't a monster movie and the monster was us. The monster is the specter of racism. Yeah.

But actually what I find problematic in this movie is the fact that you can't really root for anybody except possibly the god monster. Yeah. Because you know this you're supposed to I guess feel bad that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the best. the the the the best. the the the the best. the the best. the best. the the best. that's that's that's the the the the the fact that you can't really root for anybody except possibly the God-bonds. Because you're supposed to, I guess, feel bad that Barnstable is getting so much grief from the town because of racism, even if it's not made really explicit until the noose comes out. But you're supposed to feel bad for him. But the reason he wants to buy up these minds is that they can start doing this gold and silver processing, which is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very, the buy of these mines is so that they can start doing this gold and silver processing, which is very environmentally bad as they've talked about. But then, you know, so you don't feel good about that, you don't feel good about these white assholes keeping this town to have this historical Disneyland, six flags thing going on.

So the only one you can really root for is the little monster that nobody believed in. Right. Poor little. It looks like it's a hybrid sheep and flea. It just looks ridiculous. It's got kind of a snuffel-upicus leg going down. Just the one long leg and the one short leg that's giving thumbs up at all time. Yeah, the short leg. It's trying to do the best you can. The god monster touches the same nerve in me that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that the the that the that the the the the the that the the the the the the the the the the eraser head baby does. I thought about that baby for sure. Just a deep desire to take care of and also flush down a toilet.

Finally the god monster busts loose. And you're like, yes, it's fine. An hour and 10 minutes in, of an hour and a half long movie. Yes. He busts loose and then ruins a picnic. Yes. Quickly ruined. With these little girls who have the best lot in the movie, stupid adults. Stupid adults.

Yeah, they're like talking about whether or not the monster is real. And they're like, I don't think it's real, stupid adults, believe it. And'm like, yes, it's awesome. The monster just appears behind them and just very slowly waddles its way to the picnic. Not a fast mover. And then it's at a gas station and it blows the gas station up with it. Oh no, it knocked the gas pump over with its butt. It just kind of... It has a wide carriage in the rear. Yeah. It has junk in the trunk. Yeah, it has kind of a caboose going on. Yeah, so there's an explosion there, but the godmonaster's okay. Yeah, because the man throws like a torch at the gas on the ground. They threw an acetylain torch at the dude or a propane torch or something. It torch or something. It or something. It or a th. It. It. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's a their, it, it, it's a their, it's a their, it's a their, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it, it, their, their, their, their, their, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's a good. It's a good. It's a good. It's a good. It's a kind kind kind. It's a kind kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of a kind of a kind of a kind of a good, they. It's a kind kind. It's a It was ridiculous. They really spent their entire budget on that explosion and the bests, I would say.

Yes. And then some, just, it goes, it gets even more nonsensical. Yeah. Well, he does, we should mention that the godmonster does, before all of this happens before it goes and ruins the picnic and the gas station. It does kill the the the the the the the the the th. the th. thup th. th. thupup th. th. th. th. th. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thoes thoes their thoes thus. thus. thoes ruins the picnic and the gas station. It does kill one of the vigilantes. It kills, doesn't it? Yeah, it pops up and knocks them off of whatever that structure was since they were hanging out. The Indian flats building. And you're like, yes, it's time, it's time. Everybody's going to die. All these people are going to get their comeuppance or whatever. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. So, I guess it's nightfall at this point.

One of the, yeah, yeah. There's like a hundred night scenes in this movie where it's just a blue gel over the camera to make it look like nighttime. With people squinting into the sun behind it. And they say like, oh, the something about the cold and it will, the rampage. It was exhausting it. The cold is slow, it's rampaging, yeah. It wasn't rampaging.

That's also when they referred to it as a damaged Mongoloid beast. Yeah, it was going down some dark pads. Yeah. Silverdale started dropping some inflammatory language that I just wasn't a fan of. Yeah. And then theythey so they capture the god monster with a series of lasso's. Which was maybe like 20 lasso. Yeah, heartbreaking. Yeah, you were super bummed about him. Well it was kind of like almost a King Kong sort of thing where you at the end where they have

them in a kit you're like oh this is not how this is meant to be you know like god monsters are the god monsters. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the. th. like, God monsters are meant to room free. Yeah, God monsters. Why was it called the God monster? Well, that was, I felt like Dr. Clems was trying to explain that to us, but I like got really involved in some chips and salsa. I'm like, I just couldn't. Well, it was something about that the God monster had come about because of the phosphorus gas had some which which creates life and inhibits the body and and it had somehow leached into the soil and it was eaten by that sheep and then they had these chromosomeally deranged fetuses coming out and so it was like an evolutionary step or something I was

half-wayless. It sounds better when you say it than Dr. Clemen says it honestly. You were you were delivering the lines far better than Dr. Clements is tired, yeah. Maybe Katie could be your maripos. It's a quill. I have terrible hair. I can get away. So, so, so, the poor god monster. It was, yeah, it was really upsetting. And Dr. Clements just kind of stood by and like let it. He was like in the charge on thick. I'll like get him on horseback.

He like aligned himself with this like vigilante horse group, which included a guy in full like general custer regalia. And he sold out Barnstable. Yeah, I can't give a shit about. Oh yeah. He ratted on that dude so fast. Nobody had any love for Barnstable. Fuck all these people. So then we're at the dump, where they're delivering the town speech at the dump. Yeah, they have town meetings apparently at the cliff overlooking the dump.

So they're at the dump. There's about eight minutes left in the movie at this point, and I was like, shit's about to get real. Like something big is about to happen. Something big happened. Yeah, well, I mean, it was a good setup because they had, you know, in the very King Kong, they had the god monster in a cage in the back of the truck, and he's all, he's all bloody and cut up from these lasso, and he's mad. He's really sad. Yeah, and you feel bad for him. But then, what does he do that that th that that that that that that that that that the that the that that their that that that their their that that that their that that that that that their tho that their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the because they started throwing cars into the dump that all just started exploding. Where do they throw vegetables into the dump? Which I was like to eat those. So why are you throw those? And then, first they throw actually crumbled up pieces of paper, then they throwed vegetables. I don't understand why. And then they throw cars. I guess their they they they throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throwed throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables their throw vegetables their throw vegetables the vegetables their their their their throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables throw vegetables their their their their their their their their their their their their their their throw vegetables throw throwed thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thooooooooooooooooooes. I the. I thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes the of the cars that they threw off the cliff were clearly just shells of cars that were rusted out. There was no tires on them. Yeah, it had already been smashed by Grape Digger.

God, how good would this movie have been a great digger and show up? Oh my god. I would be giving it a ten. Yeah. What if there was... I'm thinking like Truckaurus, but as the god monster. Dream big character. Dream big, Harry. We can all have dreams. So that's the end of the movie. Well, it like quickly implied that maybe there could be more god monsters. Yeah, at the very end.

Which you told me because I didn't catch. Yeah, well, Katie was so sad at the end of the movie because the god monster was dead... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the. I the. there. there. there. there. there. there. there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, dream, there, dream, there, dream. Dream, dream. Dream, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. Dream. Dream. Dream. Dream. there, there. there. there. there. there, there. there. there, there. there. there. there. there, I. there, I. there, I there, I there, I there, I there, I there, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, there, there, there, there, there, there was, there there was, the there, there, there there there, I was, there, I was, I was there there could be more god monsters? Yeah, at the very end. Which you told me because I didn't catch. Yeah, well, Katie was so sad at the end of the movie because the god monster was dead. And I had to give her a little hope. But at the end, you know, there is the phosphorus smoke coming up through the ground and the sheep are grazing. And a new god monster could be. Wow. I can only assume, uh, soup. I just said soup. That's how confused I am right. Because I can only a soup. I can only assume that Frederick Hobbs hated Virginia City.

But he was a landowner. Maybe they're trying to buy it out from under him. So I'm formulating this theory that he was like an artsy weirdo. Yeah. And everybody in the town hated him. So he therefore hated everybody in the town and wanted to make a movie that was like, ah, go fuck yourself, town. He's a movie about why your dickheads, why you would kill the best things ever happened. This lumpy-armed monster would come out and be your best friend. So too bad we could have probably gotten him here. Oh yeah. Frusgan observes, we have this podcast. We're on episode five.

You think you can get here? I'll be there. One of the few descriptors of him on his, or Wikipedia page is that he was environmentally conscious. Oh, okay. So... So he hated everybody in this movie, too. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. He kind of thought everybody were dicks. So why did he then not have the

god monster just murder everyone? Maybe it was like a Christ thing where you killed a thing that could bring you love? The god monster could have brought everyone. That's why it's the god monster maybe. Alan's doing the Jesus pose. You guys can't see it, but he's doing the Jesus post. I'm sure you can hear me doing this. It's really, nothing, nothing works well on radio like a good sight gag. Oh, Alpo Johnson. Oh, boy. So this was a hot mess. Yeah. There were parts of it, I mean, it was hilarious. Oh, yeah. I'm hoping you guys got something out of it. I feel a little guilty for putting it on your plate. I definitely was angry at one point. I could feel your anger for a little bit there. I just wish there have been more monster. I just feel like it was such a good monster and he just didn't get his due.

Definitely I agree with that. And he like, they took him down so quickly too, like, they have a meeting, the like, the sheriff and his vigilantes and Dr. Clemens for whatever reason on horseback. They have this meeting to like take down, they're like, oh, got your ropes, got your lasso, we're gonna get them, and then they like just turned their and he's just standing there like, hey, oh my god, monster. He's just standing with one big arm and one small arm, like, oh, I'm sick, have a great day, everybody. It's been cold and my rampage is slow.

Rampage! Rampage. What did he even rampage? It was more like an accidental brushing of things. Yeah, oh shit. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's th. It's thi! It's thi, it's th. It's like, it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh really sorry, oh man, why are you throwing that torch at me? I've like made more of a rampage in a grocery storm. He was just trying to get some hot dogs at that picnic. He didn't want to mess with those children. I was six foot one when I went in the ninth grade. I made a lot more rampages. mean to. Oh, God Monster Junior High. God Monster Hitchens. Do we want to try to give this a numerical rating? Katie has gone completely blank.

She's shut down. I broke her for the question. This question breaks her at the best of times. It's every time I'm not expecting it. Carrie, why don't you go first? You've had more time to think about this. As a second viewing of this film. Yeah, you've a... Second viewing, um, it's hard because I feel like this film kind of exists outside the realm

of real movies. It's not a real movie. It cannot be compared to anything... It's not a functional movie. No. It's something you can look at and listen to. It's like an alcoholic dad, but it's not an alcoholic dad that can still show up to your PTA. Jesus Christ.

There was the, during the dog funeral, there's the scene where they opened the casket. They opened the casket and it just goes, er off? Oh! Like echoing like it's coming from beyond. So I was like all right this movie's gonna like consciously go off the rails. It's gonna go bonkers. It's gonna be hilarious. Nope, nope doesn't do that either. Pulls it right back. Yeah, right back in the stark reality. It also can I need one more thing. Please, whenever back into stark reality. It also, can I even one more thing? Whenever, whatever Barnstable goes to Phillips apartment or whatever, it's a real nice place you got here like in all our business, it's a basement. It's clearly a furtished from the dump.

It's a windowless basement furnished from the dump. I just can't. I just can't. I don't know. I'm sorry. I was hoping that that scene would resolve differently. I was picking up a lot of interest between those two men. Another, another, I think just having Maldo in a scene really, really wretches it up the sexual attention in a room. He's so smarty. He's always like moving his shoulders in such a way that... Yeah, and having a nasty little tear cut. This gross little mustache and his face looks like melting wax. Yeah.

I like how that to us translates to sexy times. Melting face, shitty mustache, fuck yeah. It's probably because my introduction to sex was porn from the 70s where everybody pretty much look like that too. That's a little dysfunctional. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sorry, Carrie.

Go on. So if I had to rate this on a 1 to 10, you know, for, I'd give it like a star or like a Mario mushroom. That's fair. Wow. I'm staying with that. So it didn't even make it under the 1 to 10 scale. It was like outside of it with an emoji.

It's outside of it, but not above or beyond it. It's just outside. How can I, how can I work with outside. How can I work with that? I like to think of this as like, would I watch it again? And the answer to this is firmly no. Two and a half. Wow. I'm going to go half star.

Yeah. I'm going to get like a point five on that. This was, this was a, this was not a movie. I don't even know if it qualified. It had credits at the beginning and the end, but that was the, like, the in-betweens was not a movie. And the credits at the beginning were hardly at the beginning. And the credits, the credits were like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, was, thi, was, thi, was, this was, thi, was, this was, this was, this was, this was, this was, thi, thi, thi, th like, oh, we found this online. I don't think this is the beginning because there are no opening credits. And then like 15 minutes in, they were like, oh, here they are. Oh, shit, Bob. You forgot to put them in.

I just put it over there. I think it's because they were doing in-camera editing. And they're just like, oh know what, this is really a fun podcast though. Yeah, no, I'm grateful. Can I revise my score from Mario Mushroom to a hand turkey? Yeah. You mean like when you trace your hand and make it? Yes. Yeah, totally.

Okay. Can I ask why? Uh, Thanksgiving's coming? Well, you made it seasonal. Yeah, that's good. That's great. So you can find this movie on the internet. Yeah, Daily Motion has it. You just have to Google. You just have to Google. You can even pay money for this movie if you want to. Yeah. The D from something, something weird. Yeah. Normally Alan suggests

that you pay money for things but I don't know in this situation whether you would suggest it. I kind of like people supporting something weird. Yeah. It puts out a lot of good funky movies that are like of this tele. Yeah. Yeah. There's something to be said about like keeping movies like this alive, like sort of what mystery science theater did and keeping like Ray Dennis Steckler th. but th. but th. but th. but th. but th. but th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But th. But I th. But I th. But I they th. But I don't th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I th. But I I th. But I I I they they they they they they they they. But I I I I I I I I I they. But I I I they. But I I they. But I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I'm they. I'm the they. I don't they. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't they. I don't they. I don't. I'm. I'm. I'm. I about like keeping movies like this alive, like sort of what Mystery Science Theater did, yeah, yeah, and keeping like Ray Dennis Steckler on the map and stuff. This felt very much like a Mystery Science Theater movie. Yeah, I'm surprised they hadn't done this honestly.

I think it wouldn't hold people's attention enough to even be a Mr. Science theater movie. They'd have to cut some chunks in the middle or something. So yeah, that's a god monster monster th. Carrie, thanks a lot for doing this with us. Oh, thanks so much for having me. This is super fun. Thanks for being our first guest. Oh, I'm very honored. So are we? And I'm sad that I'll never be able to come back.

Yes, sorry we've been to fire you. You might have to be a repeat guest just to step up up up up up up up up the the to to the to to the to the to a better movie. Oh, I can do better. Well, you can find us on the internet, just like you can find this on the internet, but we're not on Daily Motion. We're on Facebook, we're on Gmail, uh, Wearable Fambulance on both. Yeah, we have a Twitter and a Tumblr, that I've sometimes looked at now. That's good to know. Because I felt bad saying that I never looked at them. Well, thanks. Well, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to th, th, to to to thi thi to to thi thi thi, to to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, thi to to to to to to thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th and th and thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin, thi thin, to thin thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi th know. Because I felt bad saying that I never looked at. And well, thanks for listening to WhereWulf Ambulance. Yeah, thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. you