Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 500(!!!)- Death Rider in the House of the Vampires (2021)

Episode Date: November 25, 2024

EMTs!! This is EPISODE FIVE HUNDRED! We are so overjoyed that you've spent so many hours listening to us and we love you all so much. In fact, I love you so much that I will not spoil a single thing about this, the second film written, directed, produced, edited, and filmed by Glenn Danzig, "Death Rider in the House of the Vampires." Do you...do you need more Glenn Danzig? You just may! Episode 302 is "Verotika" and it is really something.  The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes! We just released our "Kung Fu Hustle" episode and weren't entirely proud of it, so we also debuted the first episode of "Nice One, Mate," our "Line of Duty" rewatch podcast. IT IS HAPPENING! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.     

Hey, Caterpillar. ALLEN! Hey, Cate. Ellen! What this movie piece poses. Is. They're all poorly written. Oh, God. I'm zooming on you. How you feel? Oh, God. God, I feel it's appropriate that for our 500th episode, we are doing the worst movie

we've ever done. You think this is worse than the item. I knew you were going to say that. And the thing is, I don't remember the item. Perfect. So, yes, this is the worst movie we have ever done. I know in my memory, we gave Erotica 10 out of 10, both of us.

Well, yes, we, we, we, I mean. Who, we, we? Who, we, we? I was reminded that we have been misquoting that film and saying anal sex, my speciality. It's ass fucking, my speciality, it's ass fucking. I'm not special. Why did we clean it up?

That's not right. That's not who we are. Because we're not a stupid marinara mall goth. You're not far off with me, really. I am a stupid marinara mall goth. But you're not a mini marinara mall goth, which Glenn Danzig is. I am taller than Glenn Danzig.

We have, happy episode 500. Happy episode 500. Thank you for sticking through it with us for all of these episodes. 10 fucking years. I know we've done way more than 500 episodes at this point, counting, I think we're up to like 52 for the Patreon, or maybe 50.

We've done a bunch of bonus episodes. Oh yeah, remember when we were so sad during COVID, we just recorded ourselves? We did those hilarious, while you were off on your baby sabbatical when I did the best of episode. Oh yeah, I forgot you put those together. But y'all have stuck with us for this long,

or maybe this is your first episode. Welcome, god damn it, welcome. I don't understand how you could possibly start here. I don't understand how this could possibly be your entree because who has seen this movie? Well, I was just wondering what you could possibly start here. I don't understand how this could possibly be your entree because who has seen this movie? Well, I was just wondering what you guys were going to say about my movie. You think Glenn Danzig is listening to this right now? Hi, it's me, Glenn Danzig.

There's no way. You left, you laughed at stuff that I didn't think was funny. No. Can you just describe for our listeners at home, the saga that you went through to get us to watch this movie? So, it turns out in January of 2024, I purchased a digital versatile disc. Wait, actually, before you get into the saga, I'd like to pre saga. Yes.

I requested a presser not once, but twice from the studio. Got nothing. Yes. So I bought a DVD and I sat on that DVD until this very day of November 21st, 2024. And I said, Hey, before my buddy Katie comes over, I'll make sure this DVD works. I put it in the DVD player and the DVD player said, huh? This is not a DVD. What this?

This is a chunky bar. I pushed open on the DVD player and it went, I don't know if I can open it anymore. You are stuck with this. So I got the DVD out and then I was like, well, let me put in something else. So I put in the Fantabulous Movie Creepshow. Sure. And I put in starts playing. It's perfect.

It's fine. Everything's good. And I'm like, okay, let me try to Danzig again. I can't believe you put Danzig in again after the first. This is one of the five times I tried to make it work. Oh no. I didn't want to let you down, buddy. Alan, it's not you who has let me down.

So that didn't work. So I was like, all right, well, I know that we've got this from a listener, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, in a Google Dropbox so that we can stream this if we need to. Yeah. And then I was like, hold on. There's a shitty rip on YouTube.

Yeah. We're going to watch it shitty cause fuck you, Glenn dancing. This was posted two months ago. Yeah. It had 344 views. Strong, strong showing. I feel like this is when one of my old bands would post something to YouTube. Yeah, for sure. It's like our old YouTube videos when we were doing them. We pulled dancing. Actually, we have way higher than dancing numbers in some of those videos.

We were objectively better than dancing at YouTube. 100%. I also was like, wait, we don't have to watch it on YouTube. It's on Apple TV. It says right there on their website. So then I clicked on the Apple TV on their website and it said, Apple TV was was like this film is no longer available Well, what's going down on Fandango, which is also a link that they have and I know that I got and I know

Hobo camp Strange as candy. I don't know Do you want to touch my vagina scene where she just holds up a empty tape dispenser for a boy to flick a child. That show is ahead of its time. Also wildly offensive. Oh god the principal was named principal black man. That's not okay. Stephen Colbert's character said some wildly- Wack shit. He said really wack shit.

That's not what we're talking about. No, God, we should have just watched Strangers with Candy. When the DVD didn't work, I was like, what else can we watch? What else can we watch that'll bring us joy? You just held Creepshow in your hand, like, one more time, one more ring around the- One more time. I just Daft Punk'd the fuck out of that shit. He did. But this isn't daft punk. It's Glenn Danzig. He did all the music. I'm sure of it. He did the music. He did the editing. Yeah. He did the directing. He operated the camera. He did some writing. He wrote

the movie. Yeah. He paid for this movie too. He produced it. I'm pretty sure the writing of the movie was just handing people three by five index cards and me like, this is your line, go. They were like, well, I would, okay. All right. This opens on Dan Zig singing something. Yeah, right on. That was a hell of a hold. Thank you.

And I'm not fucking around. That's what the motherfucker does over the sound track. My first note just says, I'm already cackling. I'm already cackling. I laughed so hard at the scene. It's Devansawa and a booksome woman on a horse. Two horses, she's on her own horse. A buoyant fake bosom covered up by a discretion bar

on YouTube so the video doesn't get removed so 300 and some people can watch it. YouTube censors titties and the word bitch. Here we are. These are things we've learned today. Today, today we learned. This scene takes, I don't know, a hundred years. And for some reason, the YouTube edit of this

edits out all of the credits to the movie. They don't wanna get in trouble, you know. That's copyrighted material. So this scene takes forever, and at the end of this interminable scene of them walking through the desert with Danzig catarwalling the words Death Rider. Rod's Lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Oh, guitar lines going behind him. I mean, in his defense, great songwriter, go back and listen to the Misfits.

Those are all Danzig hits. They're all three chords and have no words to them. Samhain. Yeah. All Danzig. Not Samhain. Early, it's funny, cause in a Samhain song, he pronounces it Samhain and it's like, what are we doing here, buddy?

What are you doing, silly psycho? Those early dancing records, all Danzig. He can write a song. Mother is a fucking bop. Twist a cane. So good. Mother was the at bat song for pirate sketcher Ryan Domet. It really was.

He had black eyes, the strangest eyes. Like a doll's eyes? Yeah, like a doll's eyes. And he did this album called Black Aria, which is like his like, it's basically an early dungeon synth record. I'm certain you've tried to sell me on this in the Verodica episode too. And it's just like, it is movie music. me on this in the Veronica episode too. And it's just like, it is movie music. Yeah. But somehow when he's actually making a movie, he's just like, I don't know. What if I fart down this empty

wrapping paper tube and we get a noise and we just run with it. It's fantastic. It's so bad. He must have done the sound editing for this movie too, because it's abysmal. I don't think any, I mean, obviously we missed both the opening and abysmal. I don't think any, I mean, obviously we missed both the opening and closing credits, but I don't think, I don't think anyone else worked on this. I don't think so. I feel like he was like, Hey, um, Eli, could you maybe just like give me a few pointers? And Eli Roth was like, no.

So after the eternal titty lady and Devin Sawa or Devon Sawah, as Missy likes to say. I just think she's wrong about that. I don't care if he's Canadian. Going through the desert, and she's wearing like shiny hot pants. She's wearing like sleepwear, like a big shiny moon ass up in there. And she's sleeping on the horse. What is going on? I think the implication, and this is only because I just looked

at the Death Rider website, is that he drugged her because the price of admission was a virgin. With what? Drugged her with virginity? With what? Drugged her to take her there. Oh yeah, those 1800 drugs that you can just give to people and they'll make them all drugged.

I mean, he pumped her full. Well movie, this is an instance of baby tell. Yeah. I mean, this movie doesn't tell much. It talks, but it says nothing. Also every character has a first pass name. Oh yeah. Duke Von Wayne.

Duke Von Wayne. Duke Von Wayne. Banting's character is named Bad Bathory. Was not one of his segments in. Oh yeah, yeah, there was a little. In Verotica. Yeah. Bathory Vignette.

Yes. In the highly accomplished film Verotica. Verotica. It's a portmanteau of violence, Veratica. It's a portmanteau of violence and erotica, where we just take the V for violence. Is that even a portmanteau? No, I don't think so. It's a portmanteau. It's a portmanteau.

We definitely made this joke before. I'm having deja vu right now. Danny Trejo is here. Danny Trejo in all of his octogenarian ass self. I don't know if he's 80, but. He can't be younger than Danzig, so. Danzig has re, he should shed this mortal coil because he's achieved the perfect age for a Danzig.

Which is? 69 years old. Nice. If Danzig went out at 69, he would be the hero we all needed. He would be the hero we all deserved. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We meet Danny Trejo, who suddenly is in the desert to go, hey, let me eat that blonde

lady. Nom nom nom. Yes, I'm a vampire. As you recall, everyone in this movie is a vampire, which throughout the movie, I kept thinking, you know what, they really are all vampires. What this movie presupposes is that everyone is stupid. I just will never get over him being like, you know when you're watching a vampire movie and trying to figure out who the vampire is. No! No! That has never happened to anyone! I'm sorry, do you think that all the

murderers in Agatha Christie novels are vampires, Danzig. Also, we can get into this later, but do you think Danzig has ever seen a movie? I don't think a whole movie, no. I think he sits down to watch a movie, gets 10 minutes in and is like, starts pacing around his living room. I got this. I understand what this is. I get it now. They're all fucking vampires. What would be the 10 minutes

of a movie that Danzig would watch? Like what movie do you think? I'd suck a proxy. What's that? He's a proxy fan. I don't know what that is. You're saying words. I don't know what they are. Very upset right now. I don't know if you can tell. Hutsucker proxy. Say it again. Hutsucker proxy is a comedy movie. I don't know. Anyway, it doesn't matter. For you to not tell me what the movie is. I can't explain the plot of Hutsucker proxy right now. It's, it's a Timothy Hutton.

Forget it. I'll Google it. And you know what, all of you can just Google it too. You didn't come here to find out things. For all of you dystopia fans, it's where the and then they dock you quote comes from. Anyway. I mean, he's watched like 10 minutes of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and was like, oh, they're probably all massacres.

I watched Dracula, all them Dracula's. They're all Dracula's. Something happens to Danny Trejo. He gets knocked over because Devin Saw will run so fast. And then he can't get up off the ground. Is that right? So what a proficient filmmaker would have done was let that simmer and you would find out later that Devin Sawa was a vampire the whole fucking time. But this movie in the very opening scenes has him run at inhuman speed to take out Danny Trejo. We don't see him take him down though, because there's a fave of black,

and then Danny Trejo is staked in sand. Yeah. I mean, you ever try to put up a beach umbrella? Yeah. Yeah. If it doesn't have the screw thing. No screw thing? You're fucked. The first gust of wind.

Yeah. A strong tug from an octogenarian would get him free. Now this is a question I was going to ask you when the movie ended and then decided to retain for this episode. At one point in the movie, someone says to Devon Sawa, but are you not also vampiric? Yes. Did he reply to that or did he just not answer? He just did not answer. Okay. Because I thought to myself or did he just not answer? He just did not answer. Okay, because I thought to myself, wait, he is a vampire.

He is a vampire. They're all fucking vampires. So, and like, there's a Marvel comic book character in the movie about it, it's called Blade, played by Wesley Snipes. Wesley Snipes, I know this guy. Yes, and he is a half vampire, half human daywalker who kills vampires.

So I was like, oh, well, that's what Devin Salwa is gonna be, he's a vampire who kills other vampires. Night Rider, Death Rider, Daywalker, here we are. But no, there's a reason that he's doing all this that we don't find out for an hour and 17 minutes into this movie. Actually, I think it's more, because we didn't have the opening credits since

July. It's true. Where it's revealed that his sister is being held hostage by RIP Julian Sands. This is your final movie role. He is out there winning the Raoul Julia in Street Fighter award for the saddest last appearance on film ever. At least there was cocaine on the set of Street Fighter. It's true. He got to do a bump into the great hereafter. You don't think there was coke on this set? No, I think like dancing is famously sober.

Is he really? Yeah. Yeah, that explains a lot. This movie is no fucking fun. It is zero fun. Zero fun. And I don't mean to imply that sober people aren't fun. Sober people can be fun. Danzig is not a sober fun person.

He's a Trumpian in his boringly soberness, or Gene Simmons. Here's another shitbag. I feel like Danzig's a libertarian. Am I right in thinking that? 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Oh God, the stupidest fucking people. Think it through once.

All right. I'm sorry, what is thinking? I'm the werewolf, the killer werewolf. The killer werewolf. So Devin Sawa shows up at Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Which is a... Sanctuary. And also a...

Portello? Okay, yes. So, I think they wanted to give... What's the Robert Rodriguez? From Dusk Till Dawn. Yes. I described in my notes this set is looking at the Dusk Till Dawn set Yes. I described in my notes, this set is looking at like the Dusk Till Dawn set if it had been left outside for all the years.

It's just till dawn. Yeah. Yes, it is extremely that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But there's no Salma Hayek foot fucking Quentin Tarantino scene. Oh my God, what a grosso. What a gross man.

Again, not that thinking feet are sexy is gross, but he's a gross man. He's a really gross man. No Tom Savini. Who the fuck wasn't Tom Savini in this movie? Come on. Tom Savini has some taste. Are you implying that the Soska sisters do not? Or Eli Roth? What did we describe this movie as? A high school notebook or a high school yearbook of people you don't want to see again. I'd like to point out that the Saskia twins are credited. Jen is attractive girl and Sylvia is dark haired girl. Sucks to be you Sylvia. They're fucking twins.

They're literally identical twins. They're twins. They're twins. Fuck you dancing. They're both beautiful women. One of twins. They're twins. Fuck you, dancing. They're both beautiful women. One of them was rude to him once. Sylvia was rude once. Oh man, she was rude to me.

She gave me a small piece of cake. She liked that picture of me carrying kitty litter. You know what? I'm not sure that they're identical. They're identical? Yeah, maybe they are. They just have very different hairstyles and that they're identical. They're identical? Yeah, maybe they are. They just have very different hairstyles

and that confuses me. How dare they? I don't know, Alan. I don't know if they're identical. All right, all right. Oh no, they're not. No, yeah, who could say? It's a real Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen vibe.

Aren't they also identical twins? No, they are not identical. Oh really? They are not. So they're fraternal? He has taken this bouncy bosom lady to the shiniest of heinies to sanctuary as his payment for getting in the door because she's pure. I just want to say that the blurring of her tits is so funny because the boxes are massive. It's like a third of the screen. It's so funny. Her bazongos are huge. I mean, from what I could tell behind those pixelated boxes, she had some big old titties. It's back, baby.

Hey, I just stretched my leg. And surprisingly the last time that bell will be rung in this episode, cause there's not a lot of titties. A surprising dearth of titties for having as many adult film stars as you do in this film. They're like, do you want me to get, no, I can, I'll just wear that. I'll pop them out. Yeah. It's, I guess I'll wear a shirt then. That one woman is doing like cock and ball torture of her tits at one point.

Here I've written, are we going to commercial? Because it fades out so, so abruptly. This movie has a problem with cuts, which is either it cuts mid, like someone finishing up the scene, or it lingers for way too long. Do you remember in the Elizabeth Bathory sequence in Rattaca, where the woman was like

bathing in blood and then she's like splashing the blood and then she's like looking in a mirror yes and she's looking in a mirror yes and she's looking at the camera in the mirror like being like Glenn. Dog? Glenn say cut say cut say cut Glenn somebody say cut and he's like I'm the woe Say cut, say cut, Glen. Somebody say cut. And he's like, I'm the whoa, whoa. Cut, whoa, whoa, cut. I wanna say that this movie makes Verodica look like Midsommar.

It makes Verodica look like this snappy, quick little movie. Yes, he had ideas, I think. I mean, I don't love the idea of titty eyeballs, but like, it's funny. It's something. He got it from another movie, but that's fine. Oh, yeah.

It's in Gothic. Right, right. A Julian Sands vehicle. A Julian Sands vehicle. Oh, God rest his soul. My good friend texted me earlier and she says to me, this is you. I was going to say name names. And she says to me, I'm so grateful this movie's only an hour and 32 minutes long. And I said, I bet it's going to feel eternal.

It felt eternal. And we only had an hour and 19 minutes. Oh my God. Alan went to the bathroom at one point and I changed the setting on the TV to 1.25 speed. I'm sorry. Like, and then it felt like a movie. Didn't it feel like a movie? It got it up to regular telenovela speed. The whole thing. The whole thing.

There is the insult of blood trollop, lovied or lov'd at one woman. I did like blood trollop. And so we have to go meet the Count, who is Julian Sand, who his wig is so fucking bad, his widow peak goes down into his brow ridges. He's wearing a dancing wig. He's wearing a dancing wig. In the blurry video we're watching,

Missy was like, is that dancing? I was like, it's Julian Sand sing. It's Julian Sand sing. To be fair, this movie is shot terribly and very dark, and he was very far away. It's like, have you watched Wolf Hall on PBS? No. It's the movie, it's the TV show about Thomas Cromwell.

Oh yeah, this is not the first time you've discussed this with me. But it's all natural lighting. And this movie felt like if Danzig was smart, he would be like, oh, for all natural lighting, all natural purple lighting. And this movie felt like if Danzig was smart, he would be like, Oh, for all natural lighting, you know, all natural purple. I mean, that's how the lighting was in Veronica too. I remember just like, why does everything look like it's being filmed in an alleyway in like a Halloween haunted house?

Oh, but when he's going through the desert at the beginning of the movie, there's all these like skeletons on rocks and skeletons on trees. Our, both of our out front Halloween decorations at our respective homes are so much better than these. Honestly. It's like he went to spurt. It was spirit without the other eye at Halloween store and got this shit. And the lines that Julian Sands are delivering.

It feels like that translated from Ghanaian to English movie that we did on God Awful Movies about the vengeful fetus. That's how this, every word is spoken in this movie felt. Fun fact. Yeah. That movie was better than this movie. Way better. Better wigs too. More wigs. 100%.

Like triple the wig budget. When Julian's hands is raising his eyebrows, his forehand wrinkles go up under the wig. It's so upsetting looking. Like the wig is an Instagram filter. I just can't keep up. Buffering, buffering, buffering. We meet these two ladies, Miss Carmella and Mina Bell. Mina Bell is played by Ashley Wisdom. Yes, eyeball titties from the Veronica movie.

Eyeball titties from the Veronica movie. Who is doing an accent of sort of like a Texas twang. Sure. Yeah. She shouldn't get Texas twang. Sure, yeah. She shouldn't get to do accents. No, it's worse than her French accent. She sounds like Jodie Foster in Nell with that accent. She does.

She sounds like Pootie Tang. Yeah, she sounds like Pootie Tang. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit, she's so, she,

all of her scenes feel like the, so kids, pornography used to have interstitial bits where people talk to each other. It was to fill up the VHS. It wasn't just right to it. Sometimes the pizza man would come over. And it feels like, like all of her stuff feels like, oh, this is, well, the porn will be happening now. They've talked some, so now the porn will happen. Yeah. They have to have two minutes of dialogue and then the fucking.

Julian Sands lets Devin Salwa's character, Ryder, No, the titular Death Ryder that not everyone is welcome at Sanctuary because there's some people that are dead in coffins back there. You get it? Yeah. Coffin people. Coffin people. The dead.

The dead. You get it? I, you know, I thought I did until now, I'm not sure. I don't get it at all. I don't get it, good, thank you. I was like, oh, well, those are the people they killed who weren't welcome here. I guess, or were they people who showed up in coffins

and he was like, we actually can't let you in. I'm so sorry. That's fucking, no, that's discriminatory. You let, you have to let them in. And also in this scene, the edits keep going to the person's face before they start talking. So it's just for a second, it's just a person being like, I'm waiting to deliver my line. Line? Get ready.

Julian's hands are going to speak soon. I want to see what he's going to do. Let's see him wind up and here's the pitch. Devin Salwa's character is wearing a leather kerchief and all I could think was how bad that must smell. Yeah, your breath, just your coffee breath. Sweat and mm mm mm mm. Whiskey breath.

No, it's gross. The women are fighting, a red haired woman whose name is Miss Carmella says that Ryder is mine and she picks up the other lady by the throat, which will not be the last time that happens in this movie. You might recognize Miss Carmela from Blair Witch 2, the Book of Souls. Shadows.

Shadows. Come on fucking guy, you got a horror movie podcast. Oh, next week we'll be doing Blair Witch 2, Book of Shadows. I wish. We can, this is our show. I wish. We can. This is our show. I have seen that movie before.

I think I have it on DVD, but I've never watched it. I think it came with the Blair Witch. It came with my house. I got mice and a Blair Witch 2 DVD. I found it staring at the wall in the basement. I don't know how to watch a DVD. On a DVD player? I don't have a DVD player.

You millennials. You gen Zs. I guess I could put it in the PlayStation, right? I don't know. Do PlayStations play that? My Switch doesn't play DVD. No, it wouldn't. It's not quite large enough.

Oh. I can't believe we're doing this. This is just the saddest, this was the saddest sincere movie I've ever seen in my whole fucking life. I feel so bad for Glenn because like you ever see a thing where someone's trying their damnedest? Yes, it's like a kid's talent show. Right, or like going to see a band and they're like,

I really like put my heart and soul into this. And you're like, and they're like, it's called ukulele banjo hoedown. No. And there's mosh parts. That would be better than this. Honestly, that sounds like it has some heart because this movie has no heart. We just get these like scenes of like, like Devin Sawa unrolls this like medical bag of tools of like chef knives. That's how we know he's a vampire hunter. Right. He, it's a, it's a bag filled with steel or I'm sorry, silver stakes. Sure. Silver kills vampires. As we know, because they're all werewolves. Because they're all werewolves.

This movie imagines all vampires are werewolves. Do you think he really just confused the two and nobody wanted to tell him? He's a raging moron. Oh God, yes. God bless him. He has, Glenathan Danzington has strong, I did my research, now you do yours. I'm gonna go with the Earth wasn't round. Danzig.

What if we get rid of all of our flat Earth fans? Well, I guess am I off the show then as a flat earther? Katie. Alan. Let's do this. I gotta, no, no, I'm not a flat earther. I'm a 9-11 denier. Never happened. As I am a Vietnam denier. That's right, that's right.

God, we're so much more interesting than this movie. We meet a woman who is doing a like Texas accent. She, her name is Julia. She is not American. She is from somewhere in the former Soviet Union. This is what you kept going. Is she Russian? It just, her, it was the fucking funniest thing in the world to hear a Russian woman do a Texas accent badly. I wanted to luxuriate in it. I wanted her to read me a, like a fucking Russian fairy tale, but do it in that Texas accent.

Y'all come back now. That is it. That is it. Oh, and who's eating one of the Soska twins, by the way? Friend of the show, Fred Armisen. Fred Armisen. Former drummer of Trench Mouth. Why is he in everything?

The only thing I think is that Danzig is in an episode of Portlandia where the goss go to the beach and he teaches them how to be goss at the beach. Yes, I remember this. And it's very funny. And Danzig actually has a sense of humor about himself, which he's never had before or since. But so Fred Armisen is in this movie and also like, it's hilarious that he's in this movie. I just think he ruins everything he's in. Yes. Yeah. Like, Lois the Spookies. Right. He ruined that. He ruined it. I mean, it's still great, but like he has no fucking purpose in that. You can produce that without being anybody. It's okay.

You could just let other people shine. Yeah. No one's like, oh shit, is Armisen in this? Yeah. I got to see it. Yeah. Everyone's like, you should watch documentary now. And I was like, cool. Are there episodes without Fred Armisen? Cause I'll watch that. Yeah. There's something about him that I just do not enjoy. Yeah. I agree.

I don't know what it is. Friend of the podcast. Friend of not enjoy. Yeah, agree. I don't know what it is. Friend of the podcast. Friend of the podcast, sorry Fred. Maybe if you hadn't separated from Natasha Lyonne, we'd still love you. Yeah, power couple. Yeah.

At this point, there's a cough, you hear a cough on the set. It is not in the movie. It's like just a cough on set. You got a cough to get off. You got a, oh my God, pull it together. Quiet on the set. You got a cough to get off. You got to, oh my God, pull it together. Quiet on the set. Who's the bartender? Enemy of the podcast.

Mr. Body from Clue, the offensive man from the client of Western Civilization, part one himself leaving. Oh my God. Leave. He looks 147 years old. Oh my God. He looks 147 years old. It looked like they wheeled him in for this.

He had no idea why he was there and then they wheeled him back out. Like is that, do you need leaving that badly? I gotta look up how old, how old do you think leaving is? I'm going to say he's 83. that's gotta be hard for leaving to hear. He's 74 years old. He looks rough. He looks old as dirt. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're being so mean to leaving. I'm not. He's a dick. Is he? Yeah. I haven't said who let Dancing Dancing this movie up. Dancing did. Oh my God.

Do you? I feel like I owe an apology to Robert Zombert. Yeah. Competent filmmaker. Competent filmmaker Rob Zombie. I've never been miserable watching a Rob Zombie movie. And if I was miserable, it was because that's how he made it to be, you know? Yeah.

It's because you ruined something I like. And also apologies to Eli Roth. You're a director. You're directing movies. Knock Knock was that the movie with the, uh, Keanu? Yeah. He gets banged to death by those hot broads. That is what happens too.

At one point in this movie, I was like, am I just that bored or did Eli Roth get cute? He's the closest thing, the cutest in this movie. He is actually pretty cute in this movie. It's also like super zoomed in on him so you can't see his whole face at one time. It's true. If you can see that whole thing, it's too much,

but little spots. When they're in the fucking saloon part of the Spordello and it's almost crypt quiet in there, then where is the piano playing? At points, there's a piano. At points, there's background noise, but a lot of points there isn't. And from scene to scene, the music just stops at the end of the scene.

I only ever noticed the music when we got to a scene that didn't have music. Fantastic. So Eli Roth comes in to murder a vampire whose name is Duke Von Wayne. Who has, who's been a traitor somehow. Yes, and they call him Dookie. Dookie. So there's a lot of scenes of Eli Roth yelling about Dookie. A thing that I really like about Eli Roth in this movie is that he is delivering the lines as written for him, which uses sort of like a southern, like, what done turned on us kind of vibe. So he's saying the words, but he refuses to do the accent.

So he's just saying it like a guy from New Jersey. He's just saying it like Kevin Costner in a Robin Hood movie. Exactly. People know I'm not from England, so it'd be weird if I did this accent. I'm not fucking Kevin Costner. You've seen Field of Dreams.

Eli Roth slaps Dookie at one point. Alan was so excited about this slap that he rewound the movie, and he rewound it like three minutes, and we had to watch three minutes of it again, and that's why I turned it to a faster speed. He slaps him four to five feet from this man's face. Nowhere near him.

It's so embarrassing. So embarrassing. And I feel like Eli Roth deserves a second take, you know? Sure. You think you could give him one? No. Somebody does. Yeah.

And Dancy was like, hey, you want to do it again? Not really. You think he said no. Thanks so much, Dancy. I'm glad you put me in your movie, but... He was like, Glenn, I'm not going to do the accent. That's all right, Eli Roth. I like in our version of Glenn Zigg, he's like a really downtrodden Eeyore type.

You just called him Glenn Zigg. Glenn Zigg? That's better. Look, I'm trying to make this snappier. Hey, Lara, you do whatever you're comfortable with. I'm just gonna be making hors d'oeuvres for everybody. I'm gonna be pouring jello into this man's mouth. I'm gonna be pouring jello into this man's mouth. Silver kills vampires for the first time ever. Yes, the things that kill vampires in this movie are stakes, sunlight, and silver.

And don't forget railroad ties or railroad spikes. That's correct. That is correct. That is correct. I hate it so much. This guy burns up. They're pouring liquid silver into his mouth. They're describing how they're pouring liquid silver into his mouth as they're pouring the

liquid silver into his mouth and I'm watching them do it. Remember that in the game of Thrones, where that guy really wanted gold. So Drago or whatever his name was, Jason Momoa, poured gold all over that guy's face. That's kind of what they do in this movie. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Man, when I was in the tattoo shop yesterday, they were watching Aquaman and I was like, I can't believe this is real. It looks fake, right? Like the entire time. I can't even believe this is a movie. Like what the fuck?

The only thing I can say about it I've seen like some of it and it's like you look like you're having a good time Jason Momoa. Good on you buddy. My friend of mine waited on him quite a bit when he was filming in Pittsburgh and said he's a nice guy, very low key, great tipper. Oh nice. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like he'd be a real boob looker too though. I don't know. Okay.

I'll ask her. She's got great boobs. Okay. She didn't mention it. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, he pours silver down this guy's throat. It takes her fucking ever.

And then there's a really ineffective explosion at the end where you hear a sound like, he just turns to dust. And then I'm sure Danzig zoomed in on the dust cause he zooms on everything. Like he's a very attentive father at your play production. It's when you were a tree. I was a tree and damn Yankees and my father made sure to zoom in on me. Are there trees in damn Yankees? I don't know. It's a baseball to play. I don't know what happens there. Wandering onto the field. No tree! I'm second base. This movie's incomprehensible. We just watched it. We

literally finished watching it. I went to the bathroom and then we started recording it. You think you peed out all the information. I think I peed out all the information. So, Carmella requests the presence of Devin Sawal. We learned that from Mina Bell. Yes. Is it Mina?

Like Will and Mina Murray? Like Will and Mina Murray. And I assume Carmella is supposed to be like Camilla, the female vampire story from like the 1800s. Wow, reference dancing has it, I don't. Oh, there you go. Thanks, Glenn. And I couldn't tell because no one speaks audibly

and the subtitles spelled her name differently every time someone said it. At one point I swear to God it said Gorilla. And I was like, that's a great name. Hey, Corolla, what are you doing? Her tits are crazy. This is the aforementioned cock and ball torture of tits. Her tits are, I was like, wow, you could just stick a milkshake in there and just get a little bit every time

you wanted it. Your nipples are supposed to be at your clavicle, right? That's where I keep mine. Only when it might work. And then at one point she's wearing a bustier and the bustier is pushing them up and apart. Yeah. It's not what you generally want. You want them to come together as one. So one tit. It just makes it difficult for her to reach for things, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh God. So she's like, she's like, hi, I brought us this snack and it's a pretty lady. Yeah. And he's like, no, I want you to personally feed me my drink. So she's like, oh, okay. And she does a messy eating thing. And then the scene cuts. Yeah. We thought we were going to get a mama bird, baby bird situation here. Yeah. Like, is that, was he asking for baby bird? Yeah, puking my mouth. Puking my mouth. And she's like, okay. And then the scene cuts and we never go back to it. We never find out if he baby birded. So at this point I'm like, is he a fake vampire? I don't know. Because he keeps drinking

whiskey. And I was like, I know vampires, they can't drink whiskey. Yet later on in the movies, he tricks all the vampires in a room into drinking whiskey. And they're like, I love whiskey, I love human drinks. It's also very confusing because he comes up behind Mina in a mirror and she's looking at herself in the mirror. So she can see, have a reflection in the mirror, but she doesn't see him behind her.

So does he not have a reflection in the mirror? I don't know. Okay. I don't. I mean, she just may not be observant. Um, no, enter Danzig. Bad Bathory is in the movie. I wrote here that he's gonna chest on up to the bar. Get it?

Cause he's sure he's not gonna belly up. He's gonna chest up. Got it? Just nips on the bar. Just nips on the bar. He's got a real Gary Busey vibe about him. He aged into his jaw in a really weird way. Yeah.

Where he just kind of looks like, he looks like a cartoon character at this point. He does. And yeah, he's not a good actor. No, and he's doing this whole scene, he has eaten someone as a vampire, and he's doing this whole scene with blood around the bottom of his face,

but he just looks like an old man who stopped being able to feed himself, and it's sad. I'm like- He just has pudding on his face. Yes, I felt very alone for a moment. I was right behind you, girl. I know, I was petting your dog and I felt very alone. He, this is not the first movie we've seen Dan Zigan either. He was in the prophecy for like a hot second.

He's in a scene in that movie. Is that the Christopher Walken movie? Yeah, yeah, he's like an angel that comes down. Okay, okay. Yeah. He's bad, he's bad at acting. Bad at this. He's bad at directing. He's bad at cinematography.

He's bad at editing. Yeah. I mean, he's trying. What movie have I made? I think sometimes it's the movie you don't make that matters, you know? Yeah. He's like talking with some guy from the Sandlot

and they're Timmy Timson or whatever. It's adamant that it was the great Hambino. It was not. I would have loved to see that guy because he's like funny. Yeah. This movie could have been funny. It has no sense of humor.

It has no, I think he was doing it for serious. That's what the saddest part is to me. I'm going to make a sketchy Western. It's just such a miss. The mark is in another county. Imagine doing Verodica and then being like, sophomore slump, buddy. I'm so sorry. I don't know. He set this movie up for a sequel at the end and I could not take it.

We get the, the, the, the Devin saw coming up behind Mina bell and they're going to have sex, but it cuts and then cuts back to him, zipping his pants and I was like, can I get anything in this movie? Like a titty, a hand job, something. It is just, it is so sexually charged in such a bad way and then it never pays off. It immediately made me think that dancing's a bad lover. Oh my god, he has no idea what to do in there. He keeps, sorry I keep scratching your jaw with my pointy fingernails. Can you cut your fingernails, at least two of them?

It's a look. Oh my god. That's a thing. I understand. Okay. Stop! Miss Carmella's mad. Miss Carmella's mad.

She's mad at me now because she wasn't supposed to fuck this guy. I told you. Right, it was mine. And fucking Julian Sands, the Count, is so mad about this that he sentences her to die. He says, the rule you've broken your sentence to die. The rule that she broke was that lady called dibs on that guy. Don't fuck my boy. You don't need the last Oreo. You don't fuck my boy.

I can't understand a fucking word Danzig is saying in any of this. It's like his jaw was wired shut. Yes, yes. Oh my God, I can't take this. The Mina death scene is like shot on a green screen. It sure is. It looks like shit. It sure does.

There's monks or something carrying her out in the desert. Yeah. Some guy who I think was in Verodica was like, you're sentenced to death. You really, really, really should have sped it up sooner. Really, really. She gets nailed to the ex. because X gonna give it to you. X gonna give it to you. As Katie mumbles under her breath, where, X gonna give it to you. Like she's dancing. I was pretty high while I watched this movie.

X gonna give it to you. Missy was like, did you just mumble X gonna give it to you under your breath? Yeah. No? She gets nailed to this X and the sun comes up. When the sun first comes up, we see it. It's midway in the sky. Like it's all the sun noon.

Noon baby. And she gets burnt and it takes 45 fucking minutes. I mean, truly. I mean, truly. Like microwave popcorn takes less time than killing this woman did. But then later we see other people die in the same way, or other vampires die in the same way and they just die.

And some vampires get stabbed with silver railroad spikes square in their beefy, beefy titties and nothing happens to them. Someone pulls the spike out and then they can move on with their undead lives. I just don't know if this says you break the dick rules. Yeah, she broke the dick rules. So she gets burned to a skeleton. Carmella DeVille brings in the skull and be like, hey, do you recognize this? You fuck this skull. He's like, I know that's cool. I fucked that skull. Oh, she says, Oh, so you do recognize her. What? I can't do this, Alan. I can't do this. I'm like desperate for this to be over. So I go and pee. I come back. It's now 1.25. Is this where we did it? Okay. So I was like, all right, 26 minutes left in this movie. We put it 1.25 speed. That cuts off six minutes. I can do another 18 and a half minutes. Nothing has

happened in this movie. Death Rider and Bad Bathory have a face off, which is just a mumble fest. It's just like contemporary rap music talking to each other. Yeah. Talking to each other in a low and monotonous way. Danzig knows something's up. So he doesn't let the kid, his buddy in the Civil War cap, drink any of this whiskey that everyone saw Devin saw while pour something into. Right. But don't care cause it's free. So they drink their free whiskey and then they catch on fire and who gives a

shit. Yeah. There's this guy with a really shitty fake beard who goes up first and you're like, well, this is a way to reveal yourself as a vampire hunter. I couldn't tell if it was a fake beard or if it was like he had dyed it with that like, uh, uh, Just for men? Just for men hair dye that makes your beard look fake. Maybe. I guess he didn't use touch of gray.

So yeah, there's a big shootout between Danzig and his sidekick and Devin Sawa, but they never reload these 19th century pistols. 600 shooters. 600 shooters as they call them. They're just shooting. Eli Roth walks in, he's like, what the ding, ding, wing, wham.

He says, you son of a, and then YouTube bleeped it and I lost it. I'm not well anymore. Everybody but Danzig gets killed by Devin Sawa this scene. Yes. There's also a scene right before this when the barkeep is meant to be having a conversation with a woman at the bar, but they're just staring at each other. Do you think Glenn told them not to pretend like they're speaking? Like they tried it and he was like, that doesn't look real. Just stare at each other.

I hate when people sus-saurus. Devin Salwa delivers the line after the vampires get exploded by the alcoholist. Some people can't handle their liquor. It's so bad. It's so bad. I feel like Danzig wrote that and then like sat back in his chair and was like, ah, Glenn, you cad. He sat back and went mother. I used to be real swole. Yeah. Still pretty swole. Sure. But just like now he's like swollen.

Yeah. Now he's a bit, he's a bit clogged. He has like Elon Musk upper body. Yeah, now he's a bit clogged. He has like Elon Musk upper body. Yeah, that's weird. It's weird. It's like he has a xenomorph that can't get out. Your breastbone just too tough. I can't get out of here. I'm growing inside you.

I think that's what a pregnancy is, really. If you think about it. If you think about it, won't you? Tits is not dead somehow. She says, thank you lover as an unseen hand pulls. It's fucking dancing. Don't worry, it's fucking dancing. It's dancing because we recognize the glove that he was wearing earlier.

I recognize nothing, but I assumed it was dancing. So we get this interminable scene where Julian Sands is not being cut away from and he's very sad. He looks sad as hell and I don't think that's the count. I think that's Julian. I'm so sad that this is this man's last movie. I mean, he didn't know it was going to be his last movie.

Or did he just wander, as you suggested, into the wilderness? I'm a bad man. You're a bad man. So Julian Sands, no, I'm sorry, Devin Sawal shows up and is like, all of your people downstairs are dead. And this is where I have the, holy shit, this is upstairs? Cause it looks like the fucking basement

that Julian Sands has been hanging out in. Julian Sands has decorated his cocktail lounge to look like a basement. Hey, Julian Sanz, you're going to be down in the rec room. Why would the light be purple there? Why would the walls be stone? I thought they were outside at one point. It's really upsetting. I'm sorry guys.

I really lost the plot on this movie. No, Danzig apologizes for nothing. Being Danzig is never having to say you're sorry. It's impressive. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for an asthmatic. Come on. Yeah, really. So this is, I'm sorry. I haven't, this says write down every line you can think of. Nothing gets cut. If someone said to me, Dan Zag wrote this movie every day at the beginning of the day, he would write everything that's going to happen that day. Be like, of course, of course he did. Or they improv everything.

Everything. It makes perfect sense. Three sets, five costumes, 17 actors. Let's go. Let's see where this takes us. Let's see where the day takes us. Let's just see how we're feeling. Because now at this hour and some minutes into this movie, Julian's hands is like, Oh, by the way, I've got your sister. I'm assuming this is what you came for. Who the fuck knows? I keep trophies. Do you recognize this one?

I'm looking at her like, do I recognize her? Have I seen this big titted blonde lady in the past? I don't know, maybe. There've been several. What is her? A speciality. Ass fucking. My speciality. Ass fucking. My speciality.

Ass fucking is so much more brutal than just saying anal sex. My speciality. Anal sex is very clinical compared to ass fucking. Ass fucking is like written by a man who's never actually talked to a woman. Oh God, no. Oh God, no. Give your sister a big hug. He sticks her with a fucking railroad spike. Oh my God. And she burns.

I don't know. It takes 45 minutes again. I wrote here, it will never be over. It will never ever be over. But then Julian sands walks into frame and everything goes to black. And then Devin sawawa wakes up and goes, what did you do? Hit me with a train? He does punch him. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's enough to knock Devin Sawa out. And I'm like, well, they're gonna nail him down in the desert now they've got him knocked out. Of course they're gonna, no? No, they just wait for him to wake up. Wait for him to wake up and give him his guns back? Give him his guns back so that he can shoot them and kill Julian sands with he shoots all the monks, which become ashes. And then one of their heads pops open, I think for

no reason. Sure. Yeah. And then Julian sands is like, ha ha ha, you can never defeat me. And Devin Sawa grabs a torch off the wall, which I thought was weird because it seemed outside to me. And then swings it at him and then he catches on vampire fire, lava fire. Why did he go up like that? Was it silver fire? So in the my mythology of vampires, you know, where they're all fucking vampires, fire is a big issue for them. Fire is a big issue for them. Devensau was escaping. He grabs the woman that he came there with, who was still fucking sleepy for some reason.

She was working. She had been picking up money and guns from the bodies that had been turned to ash by drinking the whiskey. Yeah, because Julia told her to go do that. So then he puts her on the back of a horse and she immediately falls asleep. What? It's the rocking of a horse moving like no horses ever moved before in life. They are riding a rocking horse for the scene. Yes. Absolutely. And I have a note here that just says Jesus Fox. Because she bears her teeth and she's a fucking vampire, which means they're all fucking vampires. And also Danzig is setting it up for a sequel. Well, Katie, as we know, there are bats that are released behind- Oh no, please don't say it. Danzig and-

No, please don't say it. Tint torture. So the next one will be. Don't say it. A squeak-wool. Death Rider! This is redeeming it, honestly. Yeah, you did it. What do you give this thing?

Oh, I give it go listen to Danzig Danzig. It's a fucking beautiful album. The drum sound alone is worth the price of admission. Chuck Diskits kills it. This movie is trash. It's the trashiest trash we've ever done. It's the worst movie we've ever done because there's just nothing. There's just nothing and it's so long and there's nothing.

He made another movie and yet somehow this movie is more inept than the previous film. It absolutely is. I think he took on more roles. I think they had some level of professional people like editing or at least like college students who are taking film classes edited the first movie. I can do it all. I can do all this.

How many Danzig's you give this? I give this to a shopping cart full of kitty litter, but all of the boxes have been punctured and it's just spilling everywhere and you just don't know what to do. That's how I feel right now. I feel like I've been punctured of my kitty litter. I'm so sad.

I need to change my cat's litter box. I thought this would be funnier. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. 500 baby. It's better than 300. I thought this would be laughing at someone being inept rather than just being like, Oh no. Yeah. Veradica was funny. This was just sad. Someone said that like, compare this maybe to the room, and there's like a joyousness to the room that this does not have. It's heart. It's about heart. The room has heart.

Yeah. There's no, oh, hi, Mark. I'm so sad. Oh, hi, Mark. This is just, oh God, the good news is no one else has watched it. Only 343 other people. Do yourself a favor. Take it from us. Do not watch this movie. Or watch it at 1.5 speed. I'm watching it at 2.5 speed.

Yeah, watch it. Actually just get it up to the point where it looks like it should have Yakety Sax playing. Death Rider! Death Rider! Oh, Katie. like it should have Yakety Sax playing. I'm deathrider. Oh, Katie. Alan. 500, huh? We did it. We did it.

10 years in, 500 episodes. Fucking crazy. No one thought we would be here. No one. They all said, they all said they'll never make it to 500. Weekly we get phone calls from people that are like, you'll never make it to 500. I'm like, are we going to die? We made it to 500. Weekly we get phone calls from people that are like, you'll never make it to 500. I'm like, are we going to die? We made it to 500. We made it to 500. We proved them all wrong.

Hater's gonna hate. Oh, play is gonna play. Yeah. You want to do 501? Yeah. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? What are you gonna do? No, I don't know. Katie, in honor of this film. For the honor that it brings to us all. In honor of this woman mangling her breast diseases for us. Yeah. Let's do Blair Witch 2 in the Book of Shadows. Great. Cannot be longer than 90 minutes. 501, coming in with a bang. Coming in with a bang. A movie that everyone's seen, everyone loves. Everyone's seen, everyone loves. Look, it probably had a theatrical release.

I don't think it did. Unlike this movie. Oh yeah. We couldn't get our hands, we wanted this movie and the distributor stymied us at every turn. Imagine being Glenn Danzig and no one wants your movie. I want the movie, Glenn. I don't anymore, but I did. Shudder could be like, yeah, I don't know. We'll put it in a quarter. It'll be fine. Yeah. Here's $10,000. Yeah. Yeah. They piss that kind of money away.

They piss $10,000 and yet give us nothing. Not even a free fucking streaming. That's like the Joe Bob Briggs beer budget. I haven't watched the show at all. No, no, I'm just read his books. Yeah. Book of shadows, Blair Witch too. Book of shadows. At least people can see this one exists. I'm very excited because I just realized that book of shadows is really going to bring out your Pittsburgh accent. Book of Shadows. I'll be back on the sauce by then too. I'll bring some icy lights. Book of Shadows. Shadows. Yeah, shadows is a word I say with a shadows.

Thank you so much for everyone sticking with us. What? They don't get to leave. Being here for 500 episodes. Coming back for 501. We're in our second half now cause we're going to make it to a thousand, right? Oh, sure. Okay. Great. Someone did the math the other day and in order for us to have a year's worth of content, we need to do like 8,100 episodes, which would take us. Like, wait, like the, the minutes in a year, basically.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A year straight through. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, which would take us to like 2150 roughly. So if we can hang on. I think that would be fine. Yeah, I mean, I could buy like 215, two, yeah, yeah, I know 250, something like that. I mean, that's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. I'll be 10 years younger. I'll always be 10 years younger. Come back next week for Blair Witch 2, Book of Shadows, Turn of the Century. You know how good that Turn of the Century horror was? We're going to have a good time. We're going to have a good time. Better than this, I'm sure.

I have a headache and I need to go home. God bless us, everyone. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Family. I can't even do it right. I stumbled over it and then I felt self-conscious. You can just do it. It's your job. Thanks for watching. I'll see youwolf Ambulance. I can't even do it right.

I stumbled over it and then I felt self-conscious. You can just do it. It's your job. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. And that's not good. But.

Dancing as the cowardly lion. Cut that please. I feel embarrassed. Bye bye. Very empty. Cut that please. I feel embarrassed. Bye bye. Very empty. Very, the emptiest. The Axe and I'm deadpools, so we decide to exam the pool No way to wake Finland's cute, full-filled reviews Kill the clowns and plant the face, kill the enemy now is space

Our parents are glass in case, Please make eye-content your grave EMT, horror and comedy With his hungry Brian from Wings and Stephen Payne EMT, we live deliciously Bad temperatures, obese, gracelessly come to die A pair of normal active cities No trees, no peace, grace, and we come to die A paranormal act of disease Promise to Roger City, EMT, EMT