Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 501- Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

Episode Date: December 2, 2024

In this week's episode, we're dipping back into that good good turn of the century horror with the Y2K sequel "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2." This one's for you, Kim Director! Special topics for your consideration include: the absolute late 90s-ness of this, bad Wild Turkey nights, being a complete that to your partner, not mentioning your mysterious occult tummy wounds, and WITCHES! Bonus: a very special message from a young listener. It has been nearly 10 years since we covered "The Blair Witch Project!" It's Episode 15. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes! This month it's "Josie & the Pussycats" and you are really going to like that. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. 

Hey, Kay. Oh, hi, Alan. I don't like this tone you're taking with me. Sorry, I've just returned to my disaffected 90s roots. You might notice my cargo shorts with thermal leggings on underneath. I have to say, I was kind of like, it's a hot look. It's a hot look.

The 90s are back, I love Kurt Loder. Kurt Loder is the first person you see in this movie and I was like, thank you. He heard it here first. RIP, I assume? No, he's alive. Oh, is he? Well, at least as of a couple years ago when I was on Twitter, because I followed heard it here first. RIP, I assume? No, he's alive. Oh, is he? Well, at least as of a couple years ago

when I was on Twitter, because I followed Kurt Loder. Oh, okay, okay. Then we see Jay Leno, not dead, but I did see a headline this week. Did you see this? Where Pittsburgh beat up Jay Leno. Yeah, I just saw a headline that said,

Jay Leno is injured, falling downhill in Pittsburgh, and I was like, it's hilly, motherfucker. We got a lot of hills. I saw a picture of him post, and I don't know if it was real or AI, because I don like, it's hilly, motherfucker. We got a lot of hills. I saw a picture of him post, and I don't know if it was real or AI, because I don't trust the internet anymore. Fuck no. And he had an eye patch,

and one side of his face was completely bruised. Really? Because he's like 900 years old. Put your hands out when you fall, Jay Leno. You don't catch it with your face. Everybody knows that. You can't go chin first into everything. What hill do you think he went down? Apparently it was right outside

of whatever hotel he was staying at. So not like Rialto. No. That's a joke for all you Pittsburghers, which is very few of you. I was thinking that he was driving one of his jalopies around because I'm sure he travels with them.

Sure. And then hit a street that had steps and it just ejected him. You cannot drive on the sub streets. No, no. Pittsburgh has streets that suddenly become steps to just eject. You cannot drive on the sub streets. Pittsburgh has streets that suddenly become steps and then a block later will be a street again. Yeah, they're, they're treated as streets. You just can't drive on them because they're, they're steps.

City is amazing. It's a wonderful place to live. I have to take city steps to get from my house to pies. Oh really? Only two blocks away. Yeah. I'm speaking of Pittsburgh. Yeah. You know house to Pies. Oh really? Only two blocks away, yeah. Okay. Speaking of Pittsburgh. Yeah.

You know who's a native of Pittsburgh? I do. Okay, that's the thing I just found out. Kim Director. She's one of our own. She's one of our own. She screams Pittsburgh as soon as you know she's from Pittsburgh.

You're like, oh, I see it. You hung out at the South Hills Village Mall, didn't you? Yeah. You're from Upper St. Clair. We're doing this film because of her starring role in Glenn Danzig's Magnum Opus. Ha ha ha ha. In the movie that critics say, don't watch it.

Don't bother. And also you probably can't anyway. Death Rider in the House of the Vampire, where she plays a madam maybe? A Texas madam. Yes. Yeah. Whose boobs are given absolutely the shittiest treatment boobs have ever been given.

So this is years before her boobs were traumatized by dancing. My brain just said Titsburg. And I think that's a bad joke. It's also 10 a.m. so. Yeah. I'm tired. Deal with the donkeys. I've got my morning voice. The opening crawl informs me that this is a fictionalized film on like the last player, which was a documentary.

We're still playing that game, huh? We're still pretending. But it's based on real events. This really happened. Yeah, sure. But I think a lot of this footage is actually from like this news footage about people descending on Birkittsville is from contemporary news sources because people believe that fucking movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We're not, we're not a bright race species. But back then, you know, there was so few, there were so many fewer ways to like fake things. It was a more naive time. The marketing of the OG was so good. Go back and listen to our Blair Witch episode where I'm sure we go into depth with Rob about that. Oh yeah, he loves that shit. But the fact that they had like a documentary

on the History Channel. Yeah, yeah. Like they were fucking with us because we were naive. We're not like now where no one falls for fake news now. Exactly, we're so much savvier, I would say, yeah. We meet Jeff. Jeff.

Jeff, what is it, a weak ejaculation? Sounds like a weak ejaculation. Jeff. Jeff. All the Jeffs out there, I apologize to you. That's gonna haunt you for the rest of your lives. Yeah. Played by Jeff. Yeah, they're all played by their own names, which is, I guess, a nod to the first

movie. Oh, please. Except for my favorite named, uh, uh, person actor in this, uh, film. Yeah. Who is, oh, where the fuck is he? His name is Rainer shine. No, it's not. He's like, he's the guy who's always working on the refrigerator in the- The guy who's on the ground? Yeah. His name is Rainer Shine.

Yeah, his name was Rainer like Johnson and his stage name is Shine. Come on fucking guy. Yeah, Rainer Shine. Get it? I get it, I do get it. And on Wikipedia it's like, it's an allusion to the, no, no, it's not, it is that.

It's not alluding to anything, babies. Yes, he plays Rustin Parr, Rain or Shine. Rustin Parr. Yeah. Wasn't that from the first movie? Oh, Rustin Parr's the guy who kills the kids, supposedly. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Weird. So Rain or Shine, that's what it is. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jeff's, Jeff is doing a Blair Witch tour? And selling Blair Witch goods? Yeah, Blair Witch tchotchkes. There's a one point later in the movie where he's just without mentioning it, drinking coffee out of like a Blair Witch travel mug,

which I thought was very funny. I think the Blair Witch, Blair Witch hunt shirts are very funny. I think there's actually a lot of decent jokes in this movie. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I was expecting that. So the opening is like a news crawl about all the people coming to town and we meet Jeff and he's

making Blair Witch think I did not appreciate that all of his signs were handwritten on cardboard. Yeah. I feel like if you're selling stuff on a roadside, like you could at least. Yeah. Yeah. There's a, there's a between here and a place I travel regularly, there is a cardboard sign that just says, stealer stuff, not stealers stuff, but stealer stuff. It's copyrighted. You can't touch it. And this is intercut with footage of Jeff in a mental institution being force fed. Seamen?

Seamen. And then having it come out his, and it goes into his nose, out his mouth like a spaghetti. Yeah. It's either like bull semen or very liquid cake batter. Yes. Either one you'd be upset with going up your nose. Exactly.

And then he has like some nine inch nail head shake freak out. Set to, I think Marilyn Manson, but did not bother to look up. Oh, it's a hundred percent. Okay, great. I blame everybody for how I am a Marilyn Manson. Wait. Pretty much all of his lyrics.

Yeah. You made me like this. I'm Marilyn Manson. Sorry, no Manson heads. That guy's a piece of shit. No, I think that Manson. Donk a donk a donk a donk a donk. Sorry, no Manson heads, that guy's a piece of shit. No, I think that's fair. I like how upbeat and jaunty his music is when you sing it.

I'm Marilyn Manson and I'm marching down the street with 27 trombones. Oh, yeah, I have a note that just it says in a straight jacket, making nin moves. Yeah. He's like, he's also like doing the curly shuffle around on the floor, which I liked a lot. Yuck. Yeah.

That was an old man reference. Congratulations. Thank you. I've spent a lot of time with my cousin Joe, an old man. Oh my God. The credits are very nineties. Yeah. And then we meet the sheriff, who's quite funny actually,

for a cop. He's so pot bellied, it's insane. Pot belly is really something to behold. And his name is like Raymond Craven. And I was like, yeah, cause Wes loved this, loved this. And I was like, yeah, because Wes loved this, loved this. So we meet our crew who are going on Jeff's Blair Witch tour. We've got Kim, who's lying on a grave, just lying on the grave, smoking. Remember when everybody smoked in the late 90s or the 90s period?

Oh, also when he's getting the cake batter seam and put down his nose, the dude doing it is smoking a cigarette. Yes, we meet Kim and I was like, well yes, that absolutely does it for me. Goth girl laying on a grave. Smoking a cig. There you go. There's your thing. That one was laid bare. We've got Erica, who is a witch. Yeah, we worship nature, not evil. She is dressed the way I dressed when I went to medieval times and was a rogue. That's pretty much the same outfit.

And then we've got a couple. Yeah. This is Steven and Tristan. Tristan. He should get that lump on his neck checked out. I was worried about him. What do you think that was? Is that a goiter?

I thought it was just a mole. Oh boy. That they put makeup on to hide it. I did not, it did not hide it. But the camera work, she's like, all right, so I'm shooting from the neck thing up. I'm just gonna start at the neck thing and work my way up. It's like blocking the view of his face at points neck thing and work my way up.

Blocking the view of his face at points. We should get that looked at. The cameraman was like, well, when's the next thing going to talk? Isn't that the actor? Tristan is pregnant. Yes. Which we find out because she's being sick in the back of the car. And then Kim director says to her, like, you are pregnant and you don't want to keep the baby, but he does interest and says, how'd you know?

And Kim director says, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And wrote that in the script. Wrote it in the script. I don't know. I don't know. She says it with like her own personal confusion in the line. And also I was looking at Kim director, beautiful woman. She's got a Pittsburgh 10. Oh yeah. Maybe a Pittsburgh 11.

She's got eyes like the lady from They Live. Yes, very light eyes. Meg something. Yeah, also of Master of the Universe fame. Right, Evelyn. Hey, did you see the rebooting Masters of the Universe and Idris Elba is going to play Man at Arms? No.

Yeah, I did. I was excited. That's great. No. Yeah, I did. I was excited. That's great. Yeah. And I was like, she's buxom, she's beautiful.

Why isn't this lady in more things? And then I watched the entirety of this movie and went, oh, I got it, I got it. I don't know. Maybe I'm giving her the Homer credit, but I've seen worse. Sure, but I've seen better. Yeah, that's true. All of her lines are delivered with acting.

That's true. I will be acting this line, I don't know. In this scene, I will be an actor. I will be playing the role of Kim. And Hoopsta is Kim. Kim is a goth medium? Psychic. Psychic.

What's the difference between a medium and a psychic? And actually don't tell me. I don't know. Yeah. She wears all black and smokes cigarettes a lot. And wants to get fucked up. Yeah, on moose head. Just wants to get, like lady, you're gonna get bloated

before you get fucked up on that moose head. Having drunk a lot of moose head around the turn of the century, kind of test. So we find out as Jeff is announcing the tour, he says, welcome to the inaugural Blair Witch Hunt tour. And they're all like, but no, this isn't the inaugural, you have 10,000 satisfied customers. Oh, I miss that. And Jeff's like, yes, of my store. Is Jeff the one who also says fear is the forerunner of failure?

I think that might be the witch again. Yeah, she's like the aphorism queen. But I also love when Steven is correct to him about the amount of people that he's serviced. He pulls out a printed website and I was like, aww, look at that. Stephen is writing a book and he's got a lot of research that he has his girlfriend toting around for him. Yeah, why else would you have a girlfriend? Hold my jacket while I mosh. Hold my jacket while I mosh and also you're keeping that baby.

Stephen is meant to be like a sympathetic character, and also you're keeping that baby. Stephen is meant to be like a sympathetic character. He is not. No. No. He's a bad guy. No. Yeah. Let her have an abortion.

Yeah. I should even say let her have an abortion. Like you don't get to forget it. We're not going to brag about abortions as our recent two-star review got to us. We're not bragging about it. I'm just saying women deserve healthcare. They're an important women deserve healthcare.

They're an important part of healthcare. I'll brag about biopsy. Let's brag about our healthcare. I'll brag about a colonoscopy all day long. Yeah, you do brag about a colonoscopy all day long. I was very brave. I got new glasses. Did you? I did.

Oh, nice. Let's have the healthcare thing I'm gonna brag about. Oh, I love it. Suckers. I love it. Uh, one of my first notes is Kim Director is quite an actor. I'm coming in hard. Coming in hard.

So they get to the first campsite for the trip and it's an old, dilapidated, beat down house, cabin, something. There's a tree growing in the center. Right, it's just the foundation of a house, yeah. And what's shocking about this tree, Katie? Why would they build a house around the tree? Yeah, because the tree wasn't here last time J.F. was here. Oh, really?

Yeah. Okay. How much of this movie did you not pay attention to? I paid attention, ask me how much I did pay attention to. Why don't you, why don't you, glass is half full this once in a while. Yes, Jeff is freaked out because there's a tree there. And then the witch is like, is that Erica?

Erica, yeah. Erica is like- Not to be confused with the Blair Witch. Sorry, the Wiccan, as she's referred to. The Wiccan, yeah. It's like, these stones, they're covered in ancient witch alphabet. And I was like, that's the runic alphabet.

You don't just get to get that one. That's not yours now. Yeah, is that like Old Norse? Yeah, it's like the Futhark alphabet. Like, you can't just claim that. I like that I said Old Norse, and then you said, what now? Futhark? Like, that's a word I wouldn't, like a person might just claim that. I like that I said Old Norse and then you said what now? Futhark.

Like that's a word I wouldn't, like a person might know. Futhark, I guess some people know. I read a lot of books about Viking stuff. You love a Viking. I'm proof that you can read a lot of books about Viking stuff and not be a white supremacist. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm the rare outlier. You're doing a good job. Thanks. So the Wiccan after she points out the ancient witch alphabet, which in a lot of ancient witch alphabet. And doesn't someone just go,

it looks like graffiti to me. Cause it does. She starts talking about how she wants to be Ellie whatever her name is, the Blair Witches mentee basically. Yeah, because she was, she doesn't think she was evil. She says that she was an earth child, like me. Yeah.

Hmm. You know how you can end the conversation with me? Yeah. Describe yourself as an earth child. Get the fuck out of here. I'm an indoor child. I'm a couch child. I'm a couch child.

A sofa child. Oh man. Kim Director says, I hate nature. And I was like, you too, baby girl. Kim Director hates everything. Yes, I felt very, I felt a lot of kinship with her in this movie. Sure. Yeah, no, I would hang out with Kim Director for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, we're not gonna, she's a first name, last name. Her name is Kim Director. 100%. Your name is Kim Director and you're an actor? Let's do this. You're Kim Director forever. This is a liar.

Yep. It's like, hi, I'm Alan Radio Man, I do podcasts. So we get a prepping for the night with cameras and sleeping bags and drinking mousse head. Yeah. Montage. Chugging mousse head moose head. Yeah. Montage. Chugging moose head. I fucking love you, Kim director.

They're also talking about the original movie, like one girl, two guys in a tent for nights and they didn't fuck, fuck. Yeah, no, no, I've done that. Yeah, it's fine. Fear boners, fear boners. And sure, that is the thing that we've encountered a lot in these films. Yeah. It's like, I'm done that. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah. Fear boners, fear boners. And sure, that is the thing that we've encountered a lot in these films. Yeah.

It's like, I'm so scared. You wanna? You wanna fuck? No. I don't wanna lay down and die. Yeah. Yeah. I've done multiple weeks long tours with dudes and ladies in a van and no one fucked. No one fucked. Isn't that weird?

It's weird. We're on tour. It was just total fear boaters. Just eating cold beans in a parking lot. We get a rival tour group. Oh yeah. I like the rival tour group and wish we'd gotten more of them. Yes.

They have two Chinese tour members and a German tour member. Right. Yes, which will come up later in a newscast. And being run by two white men who kind of look like Jeff. Yes. Yeah. I mean, Jeff's a type.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What did you like about this tour and why did you want to see more of them? I just wanted to see more rival tour groups. I love the idea of, it's a bring it on situation. You know what I mean? I love the idea of two rivaling factions

of something stupid, not gangs, something stupid. It's the, have you seen Twister? No, I have not. There are two rival storm chasing groups in that when I feel like that also qualifies. Man, I had a drink with Vicky recently and she described the plot of Twisters to me. And I was like, I don't know about this.

Twister? Not to be confused with the rapper Twista. Oh no, no, no, I know. Twister is great. It's very stupid popcorn fun. Twista is also pretty deez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could down some Twista.

Well, one trick pony. Yeah, but a lot of things from that era were. Sure, yeah, like Blair Witch. One trick pony. Wow, you went there. Yeah, I brought it back. It's a good trick, but once you've seen the trick. The trick is over.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they, Stephen concocts this amazing ruse to be like we saw something at Coffin Rock and it scared the shit out of us. Right. We all had fear boners, you should go check it out. And they're like, yo, let's go get fear boners. Stephen's whole thing is that he's a skeptic, right? Like his book is about mass hysteria, not about the actual Blair Witch.

And he's also a skeptic thinking that his partner wants to have that child when she's obviously trying to drink it out of herself this evening. Yeah. He asks her, how many beers have you had? get out of herself this evening. He asks her, how many beers have you had? And the answer is like, when you're pregnant, like more than one is probably too many, you know, and her answer is basically suck my dick. And he's like, I just think you should try. Look, dude, bro.

At this point I had forgotten she was pregnant and thought he was just being controlling brick. Bro? At this point I had forgotten she was pregnant and thought he was just being a controlling prick. Well you remember quickly because she has a dream where she is like having a, has had a miscarriage and is putting the baby in the water. Yeah. I didn't know it's the baby, Katie. Cause it's got a little baby hand.

Six weeks pregnant, that thing looks like a tyrannid for all you warhammer 40k guys out there. Remember when you said you weren't a nerd a couple weeks ago? for all you Warhammer 40K guys out there. For when you said you weren't a nerd a couple weeks ago. I've never played Warhammer 40K. But you do know what a tyrannid looks like. I do. You know what it looks like a six week old fetus. Sure, yeah.

Yeah. Well, anyway, they wake up and a shredder has exploded and it's clearly from the fucking paper shredder. What are you doing? You putting your bills in there? What is it though? What got shredded? Oh, it's all of Stephen's research.

This is my work! This is his big dramatic scene. Dog? No offense, dog. Why did you bring that with you? Yeah, why was it on the walk with you? Yeah. You could have left it in the van.

Yeah. You can just be like, note to self, check that article that I have at home when I get home. You probably just need a little notebook. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just get a little Field Notes notebook, put it in your pocket. And all of Jeff's cameras have been destroyed.

Yeah. But Kim Director says, the tapes are here. I see them in my mind. How did you see them? I don't know. This is the last time that her psychic abilities come in handy. It is act one. Spoiler alert, they don't prevent her from committing a murder later on in the film. They don't. They don't. And they don't help her figure out. I was like, oh, she's going to be the one who figures out whatever the mystery is because she has this. No, that don't, and they don't help her figure out, I was like, oh, she's gonna be the one who figures out

whatever the mystery is because she has this, no, that doesn't happen at all. Nope, nope, she becomes kind of like a nothing non-entity character at some point. Yeah, they just forget about her. Yeah. So they find the tapes, and then Tristan miscarries while they're there.

Yes, which we know because she touches her face and wipes blood on it, but it's her vagina that's bleeding. So I guess she was touching her vagina first. Ladies can get fear boners too, Katie. I guess you're right. Lady, you're right. Just cause I don't get a fear boner. Exactly.

I get the fear poops, the adrenaline poops. That's not sexy. So scared, you want to poop right now? Yes, I do. Oh, every time before I used to play a show, I'm like, oh man. Oh yeah. Good Lord. Oh God, just like crammed in the Bloomfield Bridge Tavern bathroom with your knees crammed up against the door.

They had a condom machine in there that someone had scratched into it for refund, insert baby here with an arrow pointing to the slot. And that was my favorite graffiti in Pittsburgh for a really long time. Why is this nurse at the hospital in the year of our Lord and Savior 1999 or 2000 or whenever the fuck this is? The nurse from the 1950s? Yeah, why is she there? I don't know. Who let her here? Why is the hospital the most rundown thing that's ever existed? It's like a nightmare hospital from a horror movie. Yeah. But it's just supposed to be a regular ass hospital. I think they're doing a backwoods thing here, but doing it badly.

Yeah. Because Maryland, as people who live on either side of Maryland, have grown up on the other side of Maryland. It's a shit hole. It's a beautiful land. It's a merry land, if you will. It's a shit hole.

But also, this movie hates people who live in the woods. Yes, exactly, exactly. It's all to the earth. It who live in the woods. It hates world people. Yes, exactly, exactly. It's all to the earth. It's all to the earth. No, Maryland, you're great. I don't come down as hard on Maryland as you do. I just find it very like, why are you listening to country music?

Sure, yeah. They are, some parts of it are below the Mason Dixon line. Sure, yeah. They are, some parts of it are below the Mason-Dixon line. Yeah. Oh. So, we get the 50s nurse, and we get a scene where I was like, oh no, this is the impetus, because there's a James Wan girl. Yes, she's got oatmeal on her face.

She's got oatmeal on her face. She's got an old-timey nightgown. She's moving in reverse. And badly. Yeah. I felt sorry for this child because she was being directed so badly. Who directed this, Danzig?

Who did direct this? That's a good question. That seems like something we should know as the people who are discussing the film. It's one of the two writers, one of the two Blair Witch people. Oh, oh God, that's even worse. You know what I mean?

Sure. I thought this was just taken over by like a made for TV director. I don't think so, I think it's one of the two dudes. One of the two Blair Witches. No, it's not. No? No, but he did do, oh, he made the Paradise Lost documentary

about the West Memphis Three, which is really well done. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they tricked him into thinking this was a documentary. He made Some Kind of Monster. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah! Oh, that's Joe Berlinger.

You're right. Some Kind of Monster is a fucking Oscar winner. So I guess he is a great documentary maker and a terrible fictional movie writer. So what they should have done was had the Blair Witch let him follow her around. Yes, I would have loved that. I do kind of want to see it in a violent nature take

where you're just watching the Blair Witch like prank these people basically. She's just ripping all of their stuff into pieces. They're murder pranks, but they're still pranks. They're murder pranks, but that's the kind of pranks she do. She just, she do do them. Katie, let me ask you a question. You're on a tour.

Yeah. You're gonna stay in the woods, things go poorly. Wake up the next morning, confetti. This doesn't sound like me, but go on. You're trying to find, you're on,, you're, you're, you're on a, what was the porn parody? The bear bitch project. You're going to find the bear bitch. Okay. That's that sounds a lot more like me. And so a woman you're with miscarriages, she has to go to the hospital. What's your next move? Are you going to go back to the house of the weirdo Jeff who is leading the tour? No, I'm going to make sure she gets safely to the hospital and I'm going to find my way

back to my regular life. Yes. Yeah. 100%. 100%. Poof. Goodbye. And that will be a story I tell at parties later.

Let's say you're the woman who's miscarried his husband. Yeah. You're going to get a hotel near the hospital. No, you're just going to take her out of the hospital and take her back to the guy who ran the tourist loft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. We're also seeing flashbacks,

but we don't know who's having them. And the flashbacks are very choppy and red, so you don't know what they are. Murder flashbacks. And they're like, oh man, we have five hours unaccounted for, and then it cuts to like an empty bottle of wild turkey. And I was like, yeah, this happens with wild turkey.

I allegedly threw up in a front yard in Lawrenceville, not that long ago, after a wild turkey night. What I'm saying is, Obbs. is OBS. They're at Jeff's house. He has a bunch of stolen stuff that he's selling on eBay. Yeah. He lives in like a warehouse loft. It's an enormous amount of space.

Yeah. It's like a former like munitions manufacturing place or something. Something. Yeah. Yeah. I even know what this says. They could have just gone home. Yeah. Why, yeah. And I even know what this is. They could have just gone home. Yeah, why are they so-

Why are they here? I don't, especially after you've had a miscarriage. You want to go home and be in your bed. Even if you didn't want that baby, you've been through something. You got, you just need to, you might want to just rest. Also, dump Stephen. Get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck, he's, and also all that work you did with him is gone, you're not recreating that. Yeah. Dumb Stephen. Stephen, you mind dropping me off at my home now, where you don't live anymore? Maybe she asked him to drop her off at Jeff's and him to go home. We see that Kim has a rash. Yes, on her shoulder.

Yeah. Which the woman sleeping on a tombstone has a rash. You don't say. Tristan says to Stephen, I dreamt I hurt the baby. And he goes, that's because we've been fighting so much. Stop fighting with your pregnant girlfriend. Leave her fucking be. So they're watching the tapes back.

Yes. And the tree is gone, but there's like a twig in its place. And why? Yeah, you play witch. She loves sticks. She is a stick lady. Yeah. I like in a violent nature look at her

just like making all those little dolls and stuff, singing herself a little song. Just cigarette hanging out around. Yeah, it's a living. singing herself a little song. Just a cigarette hanging out around. Yeah, it's a living. We get again, the little girl shows up. Oh no, this is, okay, sorry, I've moved ahead.

No, you're fine, let's just move ahead. There's the spooky walking backwards girl, to which I wrote, I'm more scared of the dogs with anger in their voices. They could just be happy to see you. Those dogs are barking viciously. We don't see the dogs for a long time, but every time they open the door, dogs start to bark.

It's like, oh, it's like being in Alan's house. When I shut the door to my car all the way down on the street, I can hear them start barking. They're literally excited that you're here. I mean, yes, they, they show excitement by instilling fear in you. They like hear you pull up and like, what, what? She's here. I'm so excited. They know the sound of your car.

So are they barking the whole time I'm in there smoking weed? Oh no, I'm so sorry. That's how excited you're here. I'll smoke weed before I get here next time. It's fine. Well, I'm driving down the street. I've never complained about it. I don't care. So yeah, he hears sobbing outside, opens the door,

sees the oatmeal face girl walking backwards. Who is she? Oh, shh. Yeah. That silence was brought to you by, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Did your phone just go off?

No, it's Missy's computer. Okay. Didn't mean to yell at you. So, the little girl says you brought it back with you. Yes. Yes. And Tristan doesn't want to go home now because she needs to understand what happened. Don't.

Listen, folks, being fun is better than understanding things. Absolutely. Jeff's going to redigitize the tapes. Is that a thing you can do? Redigitize? Oh yeah, you just double digitize. I have no idea. So once you've digitized something, once you can digitize it again. It's hard to say that word more than once in a row. Because they're definitely tapes, they're electromagnetic tapes at first, and then he's digitizing them,

and then he's gonna re-digitize them. Maybe just convert them again. I guess so, to see if he can find those missing hours, because they notice a discrepancy where it goes from 1.32 a.m. to 3.37 a.m. and then back to 1.32 a.m. or whatever the actual timestamps are. Close enough, yeah.

And he's like, this is so weird. This is so weird. This is so weird. Yeah. But they're all just hanging out at his. Yeah, this is where they see the brief footage of a naked woman. Yes.

Whom could it be? Whom could it be, Alan? She's like twirling backwards around the tree. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, as you do. Yeah. Ah.

Stephen is sitting at Jeff's dining room table. Jeff has a dining room table, by the way, in his loft space. The only thing that you would think Jeff would have. Jeff doesn't sit at the table to eat, does he? No. And we decide, the movie decides to add a little seduction. Mm-hmm.

Stephen looks so tense that Eric is gonna go back there and loosen him up, if you will. Loosen him up and then start fucking him on the table. Yeah, and he's like, she's like, oh, you have those things on your belly. Yes, he has cuts on his tummy, which he has not mentioned. No. And they are in the shape which he has not mentioned. No. And they are in the shape of the Blair Witch symbol.

Yeah. And everyone is unconcerned. Because Erica's like, I've got them too. Yeah, right, right. But this is not really happening. This is like a dream sequence. I get it, but they both had it. Oh, they both had it.

How do you know that? There's like knowing looks betwixt them. Okay, I guess I didn't get you that subtle acting. It's the subtlety in the Book of Shadows. Shadows. So Jeff has found something, it's titties. They're your titties, Erika. I know them titties, that's yours.

To which I've written, I mean, we've all had a bad wild turkey night. It's true. Kim's like, I gotta go get beer. This is redonkulous. Yes. Just a six pack for herself, which I thought was hilarious. She walks by cases of beer and is like, nah.

This is just Kim time. This is Kim time. She has an awkward interaction with the people at the gas station. Right, this is like them doing a backwoods thing where there's a woman in sort of like a house dress, a heavyset woman in a house dress with no makeup on, filling a cart with like devil's ham or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then there's the guy rain or shine, to be told, who's just always laying under the cooler. I'm realizing that may not have been, or no, it might have been him because like, he has a weird, he says a weird thing to her at this point. He's like, I'm almost done or whatever. Something like that, yeah. He like, yeah.

And then the woman at the counter is like a young woman, even a teenager maybe, and her name is Peggy, and she's wearing plaid, and it's just like, I don't know. So am I to understand that all these people are ghosts? What? No. Oh, I thought that like, because there's the thing where

later there's the three boys outside that are like giving her the hubba hubbas and being dicks, and as she's driving away, she gets a little further down the road and all of a sudden they're behind her throwing rocks at her. Right, but that also doesn't really happen. And then there's ghost children. The ghost children are children.

The ghost children are ghosts. Peggy is real because she's on the news of being murdered. Oh, that's right, she's murdered. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. But also where was Ham Lady and Rain or Shine while she was getting murdered? Because ham lady was also there when they went there initially to buy beer and

there were like 50 people in the store all staring at them. Right. There may have been five. I may have exaggerated. But also no one could possibly consume that much deviled ham. Right. And also why would they stock that much deviled ham? I guess for her, specifically for her. I mean, were they expecting Rob Zombie to come into town and be like,

devil ham, devil ham, devil ham. I'm Rob Zombie and I'm walking down the street. No, you're mixing up Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson. Wait, how does Marilyn Manson go again? You did it to me, you did it to me. A Marilyn Manson did it to me, you did it to me. I'm not to blame, I'm Marilyn Manson. I don't know if anyone's gonna find that as funny as I do, but God, I hope they do.

Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that's not what Marilyn Manson sounds like. You're right. Every song is just, ba da da da da, ba da da da da. You did it to me. You're so right. So Kim is buying this six pack of moose head. Peggy doesn't want to sell it to her

because she's a goth, I guess, or a tourist, which is not good for the tourism industry. Either way, she's being a bigot. Yeah. So Kim grabs the beer, throws money at her, and says, keep your mother fucking change, which I like a lot. She carries her beer out,

and I've bought many a six pack of beer. Oh, sure. I have never thrown it into a comically large shopping bag. No. Rolled that shopping bag up and then tucked the beer sideways on my arm. Yeah, no, you just carry it by the little handle. It's got a carrier right there. She sees an owl at this point too, which I think is a symbol of something. Sure harbinger of death.

I've never seen an owl in real life except at the aviary. Really? Yeah. Oh, okay. I just want to say that out loud. You need to get out in the woods more often. I saw an owl in the wild just a couple months ago. Where at?

In a tree. Wait, no. Okay, great. That's on a missus mom's house. She lives in the woods. Oh, so you're not supposed to wait the fuck out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's at a missy's mom's house. Oh, see that's way the fuck out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's out country.

It's out country. I thought you were gonna ask me, who I saw. Oh, Ellen, you knew I wasn't. I wouldn't step on that joke for you. She's got a Discman. I felt good about this. Take me back? Yeah.

Yeah, you're right. These guys throw rocks through her back windshield. She's driving Jeff's van and she goes fucking rednecks. And I was like, Maryland, baby. Maybe then there's a troop of James Wansey and newsies. Yes, they are. Newsies on a little newsboy cap. And you know, they're dead because they're very, very, very pale. Yeah. Very tired looking. And they run in front of her car, which, sorry, the van, and causes the van to drive into a tree. Good thing you had that big old grill on there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then sticks to keep it safe. Yeah, so the van is not very damaged at all. No, no, not yet. Am I right? So she gets back to the loft. It's morning? I think so. The day to night, I have no idea how long they spend there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And when she takes her beer out of the giant, comically sized grocery bag, she cuts her finger on a nail file that she has stolen from Peggy. Oh. That is covered in blood. Right, right, right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Then she, wait, she does have like, does she have this? She has the vision. The vision of Jeff with the like, electroshock thing on his dome, on his dome piece. Yeah, I think that is him being executed.

I don't think that's, because his eyeballs bug out of his head. Oh. They use the chair in Maryland. Probably. Probably. Maryland, Probably. Probably. Maryland, bye-bye. I had no, I know that Ohio gets a lot of hate from you.

I had no idea that Maryland was being taken. This is really the first time I've delved into how much, how I really feel about Maryland. I feel like during the Don Doehler episodes, you were very kind to Maryland. I like Baltimore. Yeah. I like a city.

It's the backwoods, Maryland. I'm not, I'm not, I'm Baltimore. Yeah. I like a city. It's the backwoods, Maryland. I'm not, I'm not sure. I'm afraid. Yeah. So she sees Jeff being executed in the chair. I see. Okay. And then Erica is going to drive Tristan and Steven somewhere. To the airport, I guess.

Yeah. Also, this is where we see that Jeff is growing a ton of weed. I liked that a lot too. Didn't even notice that. He's a huge grow operation. But she can't, because look at the van. Oh my gosh, it's totally wrecked. And Jeff's like, how'd you even drive a back hair?

Like, obviously she didn't, you fucking idiot. And this is where we learn, we were shown all of them having the scratches and the runes and all that stuff on their tum tums. Yeah. Except Jeff has little kid hand prints all over his tummy. Yeah, like Uncle Charlie's sausage. I don't know whether you wanna leave that in or not,

but it hearkens to an off air conversation. I might cut out where you say it hearkens to an off air conversation. I might cut out where you say it hearkens to an off air conversation, just to make it even more confusing to people. Thank you so much. Yeah. We find Erica's clothes on the ground in her witch circle that she has created

here at Jeff's house. Where we had previously seen her just like praying and freaking out on her knees. And I was like, oh, just like any other fucking religion, huh? Come on, Wicca. Do something more fun. I was watching this movie with Pi.

And when all of her clothes showed up in the circle, Pi goes, oh no, she shrunk. I expected like them to lift the clothes and there would just be dust under there. Something. Or maybe she got turned into a mouse by a witch. I mean, clearly this lady likes to take her clothes off. It's not weird that they'd be on the floor.

We seen her titties earlier. That's all I'm saying. So they go to the cops? Oh no, they make a phone call. So they go to the cops? Oh no, they don't. They make a phone call. These are flash forwards now where we see like Kim director being handcuffed and like the marks

on her shoulder are no longer there. Yeah. And she's looking at her marks and going, the fuck? Yes. Or her shoulder, not her marks. Yeah, the lack of marks. And they try to call Erica's dad and his secretary says that he's never had any children.

What? Wait, actually, wait, what is Erica? Yes. Is she the Blair Witch? Was she the Blair Witch this entire time? No, because they go down for killing her. Is she not the Blair Witch? She's never been the Blair Witch? I think that's more likely. I don't know. This is one of those times where you feel like the movie's like, okay, we're going to zig it. Oh no, we're zagging? Okay, all right. We'll just leave the zigging. It's fine. We'll leave the half zig. Yeah, it's a half zig. Yeah, she ain't got no dad.

I have a note here that says, does one have to brush their teeth to get into college? And I don't know what that means. One would hope. So the sheriff calls Jeff. Why does he keep having phone conferences with Jeff? Especially while he's in the background of the news. You see me on this news? You see me?

Was the funniest fucking thing in this movie. The sheriff is very funny. At one point he says, my retirement pension. I cackled at that. He calls Jeff, tells him to turn on the TV and then points to himself on the TV. Are they friends? I think so.

Okay. Once you've been arrested so many times, you're just buds with the cops. I gotcha, I gotcha. Oh no, you wanna stop at Wendy's for a frosty before I take you in? What is happening? I like to dip fries in mine.

Then, oh, everybody does. And then we get another flash forward of like detectives, one of whom is wearing the world's most ill fitting suit, making Kim director remove her makeup with like a wipe. That made me feel very upset. Yeah. But also it came out very easily. That was very like easy to take off makeup.

Those wipes are good. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. I use them. Yeah. Also from a 2024 lens, the fact that someone would be that goth and have no tattoos was very shocking.

That is very shocking. Oh no, she has like a tiny, tiny rose on one of her bosoms. I mean, I couldn't tell it was a rose. Yeah. It may have been a dead fly, we're not sure. We're not sure. Oh, so what the TV tells Jif

is that the other tourist group is dead. Been found murdered at Coffin Rock. And laid out in the same way as those kids were back at Coffin Rock back in the old and Blair Witchian times. Which is as though you're doing a soccer drill where you have to let the ball hit you. You know what I mean? I don't know that drill. Where you would all lay on the ground and the coach would kick the ball up in the air and you had to just let ball hit you. You know what I mean? I don't know that. Where you would all lay on the ground and the coach would kick the ball up in the air

and you had to just let it hit you. What? To teach you not to be afraid. Oh wow. Or is the coach just like, yeah, I'm sick of this shit, lay down on the ground. Yeah. I think, yeah, half, half and half, yeah.

I'm gonna throw this bag of ball bearings up, just let them hit you. Let them clock you. Yeah, so they're all head to head and they're making a human pentagram. It's just a five-pointed human man. It's actually very pretty. If it's like, if you're thinking of it as like a unity thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what come together. We see the little girl again. We see that we don't see the dogs. We hear them barking. And the girl says something like, you know who it is and you know what you have to do. What's this now? I don't know. Okay, okay.

Is this where the bridge falls in? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, the bridge falls down at this point. There's that later. Oh no. Oh no, yeah, yeah, I wrote this place is not up to code. Right, and there's an owl that flies in the window. Eric is outside naked. That's right. Cause Steven goes out. Cause he's like, well, maybe now's my chance. Yeah. I'm going to get that real fuck. And she's going backwards around

a tree again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, what's the going backwards bit? Yeah. Some witch stuff, I guess. I don't know. Okay. Uh, cause Christians go forwards and witches go backwards. I, I have no idea. Okay. Uh, cause Christians go forwards and witches go backwards. I, I have no idea. Super progressive Christians out there. Oh, I vote with the Wiccans. Wiccans vote. You guys out there voting?

I hope you voted. They're always hexing the patriarchy. I mean, Amish don't vote. I don't think, I don't know. Amish, you vote King Dutch. Are you listening to this podcast right now? Or is it too English for you? That's right.

We're all English to them, right? Dummies. We call them the Pennsylvania Dutch. They're from Germany. They're from Germany. Yeah. I call them the Amish. So, Tristan's freaking out.

She's got crazy eyes now. Yeah, she needs antibiotics, I think. Probably, and a good rest. She needs to rest. And she says, they're not mine, they're Ellie's dreams. Ellie, whoever the Blair Witch is. Yeah. Yeah.

Now wait a minute. Yeah. Wait, this is something I want to discuss with you. What did I do? No, maybe you can explain this to me. Kim director is going through Jeff's desk and she finds files on each of them. Why? I think, and I might be stupid, the strong argument.

Okay, it's either you or the movie. So let's figure strong argument. Okay, it's either you or the movie, so let's figure it out. That the movie is implying that the Blair Witch put these files in Jeff's cabinet. So the Blair Witch went to Staples, bought folders, made copies, got photos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put this all together, broke into Jeff's loft. Yeah. Put them in his desk. Left. Yeah. Went back to the woods and started making sticks and killing kids.

Yeah. Well, she's got all those kids, those ghost kids that are in her, during her bid. Oh, they, yeah. You could get that done pretty quick. Yeah. Yeah. You got a tiny armory of new seasons. Yeah. They'll do whatever you want. And one backwards walking oatmeal girl. Yeah. And possibly a devil ham demon. A devil ham, wait, you think that lady's a demon? Devil ham demon. She does hit Kim Director with a cart

really hard for no reason. Yeah. All right. It's like, cause the other possibility is that Jeff did this and there's nothing about Jeff that says I did research. No. Other than him saying I did my research,

now you do yours. Exactly, yeah. We finally see the dogs. Yeah. They're funny looking. They're funny looking dogs. I think they are subtly tied to the bridge because they look like they're pulling.

Yeah, they're leashed. Yeah. It's very weird. Here I have a note that says Erica has a butt hat, but it's her body. A butt hat? Yeah, you know, a tattoo on your lower back. Oh, that's right.

What was it of, I wonder? I think it was some sort of tribal thing. Oh, sure. That makes sense, 1999. Yeah. That makes sense, yes. Yeah. That makes sense, yes. So Erica's in the closet. Wait.

No, this is where they decide they have to run the tape backwards, right? Oh, no. You're right. You're right. Erica's in the closet. This is where we see her butthat. Yes, she's in the closet.

She's facing the wall. Yes, and then they turn her around and she's dead. Her eyes are all goofed up. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, she got goofed all the way. She's dead. Her eyes are all goofed up. Yeah. Yeah. Oh no, she got goofed eyes, she's dead. And they're so gummed up. Gumming up the works.

She got pink-eyed to death. And then somebody says something about the Wittershins to undo the evil. Is this the going backwards? I think so, yes. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. So they do something in reverse. I guess they reverse the tape.

They run the whole tape backwards in like two seconds, just like they're done. What? And they see themselves doing the evil business, AKA fucking the shit out of each other. Yeah. I wrote here, Ooh, a satin bra. I liked that a lot. And then there, yeah, there's like some gratuitous fucking. Yeah. And we see a tape of the pregnant lady who did not fuck. Right. But hid the tapes. Yes, she's possessed by Ellie at this point,

I think is the implication. Because she sends them all off to Coffin Rock to murder those people. She doesn't, I see. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I like that you were, ooh, a satin bra.

Yeah. I bet that feel great. I just hadn't thought about it in a long time. That feels very 90s to me. Oh yeah, that's so turn of the century. So they turn on her, they say, what did you make us do? Yeah. And her reaction is just, you're all going to fucking die. She's the witch man.

And then she wraps a rope around her own goddamn neck. Uh huh. And he shoves that girlfriend off the thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then there's like a flashback to it. And we see that the whole time she's like, yo, don't fucking kill me. What's going on right now? That's from the police station because they have a real, Jeff has security cameras set up in his loft too for reasons. So when we see it later, she's like begging her boyfriend not to kill her, which is real.

Yes. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So we see the campers murdered or the, the other tour group murdered and there, it's the same murders we've been watching through the entire film. Right. Which was nice to finally put that together because I was like, why am I seeing this? It's just nice to put a face to a murder. They're, they're going to, they're going to get murder. You know what I mean? It's nice to put a face to a murder. They're gonna get arrested.

They call them three obsessed movie fans on the news broadcast, which I would just then remember this period of time when violence in media was blamed for everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we see the video footage from the convenience store of Kim director murdering Peggy. And she just goes, I didn't do that.

Yeah. And then it ends with them being let out in chains. And Jeff, we see Jeff murdering Erica naked in the closet. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you've got a great butt though. He does. He's a great butt. Nice touch, Jeff.

You're hiding them in those giant cargo shorts. Yeah, take those off, just wear the thermals. Yeah. Put on some gray sweatpants while you're at it. I think the last, yeah. I think the last line of this movie is fucking witch. Or at least that's my last note. And then, ba-da-da-da-da, ba-da-da-da-da.

You did this. You made me do it, you made me like this. Marilyn, you made me like this. Can I rate this bitch? Yeah, why don't you rate this witch? I don't know. That's my rating. Let me tell you something. In a post I've seen Death Rider and the Valley of the Dolls, this movie, A, is a movie.

Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. Death Rider and the Valley of the Dolls. This movie, A, is a movie. Yeah, oh yeah, for sure. B, it has a soundtrack. It has a soundtrack. That doesn't stop when someone leaves a room. That's the only time you notice the music and fucking dancing is when it stopped. It's got some competent direction.

Some. Some. That's got some competent direction. Some. Some. Eh, that's generous. This is a recency bias that's happening right now. Yes, exactly. Okay, all right. And I'm putting it out there. Okay, I want to just be clear.

And it never abuses Kim Director's boobs. No, her boobs are treated with kindness the entire time. So what are you giving it? It's a solid three. Solidly a three. You could do, I don't know, or worse. I mean, can I tell you a thing that I hate about this movie? Yeah, please.

Is that it's not called Blair Witch 2 Book of Shadows. It's Book of Shadows colon Blair Witch 2. Fuck you. And now I am done. It's because you never see your comment. Oh, yeah, you're right. I had no idea this was a sequel. I mean, Book of Shadows is like a religious text, right?

Yeah, I believe so. That's all I know. They didn't try to redo the first movie, which they have since done. Yeah, I saw, they didn't try to redo the first movie, which they have since done. Yeah, I saw the reboot of it maybe like five years ago or 10, pre pandemic, obviously. Yeah. And I enjoyed it, but I saw it in the movie theater,

which you know how that does for me. Yeah. Yeah. You have big screen bias. I have big screen bias where I'm like, this is fantastic. That movie also did one of my favorite things that we know is they're in the house and it just keeps constantly shifting. Yes, I love that.

And I think that's very spooky. It's a bit spooky. Yeah. But they tried something different. They went on a different route with this. They're like, let's get one of those edgy teen comedies. And yeah, they can't win them all. Katie.

Alan. I understand that you have a question for me. I do. I'm gonna read you a message from a all. Katie. Alan. I understand that you have a question for me. I do. I'm gonna read you a message from a listener. I love it. This is a flipping of the roles here. This is a flipping of the roles. I got this one on Reddit.

This is from a 14 year old listener. Yes. 14, maybe a bit young for us, but when I wrote back to this person, I was like, you're so much closer to my daughter's age than to mine, so I feel protective of you. We can literally be your mother and father. Oh my God. Yeah.

Adopted. Oh yeah. We didn't fuck. Oh God. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can you imagine? We're just too good of friends. They've been doing this podcast together for years and what?

No fear boners. No fear boners. Not a single fear boner. This person wanted to inform us that they are going to capitalize on our success by creating their own podcast that'll be for kids their age with short attention spans. It's five minute reviews, reviewing our reviews of movies and it's called Dracula Fire Truck. I love this. I love this too. And this person also has a question for Alan.

I'm gonna read this verbatim. I'm not really a super shy person mostly, but when it comes to talking about the things I like, I get nervous. Like if I like a movie and I showed it to my friend and they didn't like it, I'd be like super, super sad about it. Probably more sad than I should be, I think.

You are really good at being like, I like this movie. It doesn't matter if you don't. Were you always like that? I want to be like that. Any advice? Yes. And then they said hugs and stuff. Me. Oh, hugs and stuff back to you. You small, small wee child. You're just, you're twice my daughter's age. She's seven. So I'm 50 now and up until, I don't know, sometime in my thirties, I was the same. I was like, oh, you should like this thing

cause I like it. Or I'm sad you don't like this thing cause I like it. Yes. But the flip side of that is I've also had that oppositional defiant thing of that's popular. I hate it. So like, but, um, I just realized that I can like a thing and Katie cannot like a thing and often don't. And it can, Katie often likes a thing that I don't like. And we can still be great buds. And like that's, uh,

having friendships with people who don't like all the same things you like actually makes you a more rounded human being. It actually like, because you're exposed to stuff that you might not be exposed to normally, some of you are going to like some of it, you're not going to like, and you figure out how to deal with both of those ends of the things. It's good to be around people who are different than you for sure. 100%. It makes you, it makes you better by being around people who aren't just like you. That's really good advice. And that's why I'm super glad that you are my child's weird

uncle, truly, because that's really good advice. And also, yeah, sometimes people are dumb and should like better stuff. Fuck you. Thank you so much for writing in. And when you drop your first episode of Dracula Firetruck, let us know. We'll hype it for you. Yeah. I can't wait to listen.

How are they going to sum us up in five minutes? Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke. I'm out. I can't believe my mom wants me to listen to this. Katie Allen. Let's do another movie next week for episode 502. What will it be? The 50 Deuce, if you will.

The 50 Deuce. Let's do a recently in theaters, The End to a Trilogy. Let's do Maxine. I'm so excited. Yeah. Yes, where is it available? It's on the HBO Maxine. Oh, the HBO Max XX again.

Oh my God, I cannot wait to see the, I haven't seen it yet, have you? No, I have not. Oh my goodness, I am so excited. I loved those first two so much. Yeah, yeah, and I thought Pearl was actually better than X, so I'm expecting Maxine to be even better than Pearl, and if it's not, you'll hear from me, Ty West.

Ty West, we're on your side these days. Even if you are from Westchester. Yeah. Even if you did date my friend Rob's friend's sister, it seems like it didn't work out. How dare you not work out. So come back for Maxine, Patreon, T-Public, you know the 501 babies, you know what we're doing here.

You know what we're doing. And if you're a 14 year old, thank you so much for listening. That's wild. That is wild. And I hope that we are showing you what a good friendship can be. We're modeling a good friendship. I think we're modeling a great friendship. I could be a little less snappy with you sometimes.

Yeah, it's fine. It's just who I am. I'm kind of modeling a great friendship. I could be a little less snappy with you sometimes. Yeah, it's fine. It's just who I am. I'm kind of a piece of shit. So go be a piece of shit to the world, everybody. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Amulance, and I've never thought of Katie as a piece of shit just for the record. You made me do that.

You made me say it. Marilla Manson. Bye. Bye. Bye! Many acts aint on dead pools, so many sightings at the pool No way to end Finland's cute, fun-filled reviews Killer clowns and member face, killing him in outer space Appearance I've passed in case, please make eye-catching your grave EMT, borrow a comedy review, small hungry Brian from Wayne's and Stephen King

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