Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 509- The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (1971)

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

In this week's episode, we're dipping into some new-to-us giallo with a movie that Reddit told me I needed to see: the 1971 bananas film "The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh." Special topics for your consideration include: a celebration of 70s boobs (the best boobs, historically), things that happen at adult parties, vices that fall somewhere on the scale of "strange" to "meh," and a yearning to trad wife.  Last year's January giallo film was a real doozy-- it's Episode 462- "The Inferno." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. Get in now to hear this month's episode on "Gone in 60 Seconds" which holds the dubious honor of being absolutely the stupidest movie I have ever seen.    leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. 

The Last of Us Alan, I've done fucked up. The Last of Us The Last of Us The last of us, the lady, the strange face of the lady ward Latamaskwab! Latamaskwab la senora, no, lo strano vizio de la senora ward. I didn't know it was Sassy. If this is what you think Sassy is, how you have babies. I didn't know it was going to be this.

I just was on our giallo and this movie keeps coming up over and over as a Diallo movie you have to see. And fuck if I did. Was it on the subreddit oopsaltitties? Is that a real subreddit? Can we start it? Copyright, copyright, copyright. Can you copyright a subreddit? Yeah. Strange vice of Mrs. Ward with an H on the end because they got sued by a woman named Mrs. Ward

who felt that this was fucking up her rep. They were like, put an H on the end. You've got to hit it too, Mrs. Ward. Mrs. Ward. Yeah, Ceci. Yeah. I don't know what I mean by Ceci. You know I'm not good with intimacy.

You mean very boob heavy, very heavy boobs. Oh yeah. Great seventies boobs. You know I love a seventies boob. I mean, there's just something special about them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One might be bigger than the other. Who gives a shit?

Let's go. Oh, natural. That's how boobs are slash were. Marion Faithful passed away today. The singer, she was like the muse for the Rolling Stones. Oh. Any, and I saw an article that said she had big natural talent.

So do I. I was like, guys, big natural has been used for something else. You can't go back to it. Big natural melons. And I was like, is this on Penhouse? What's happening? I love that. Well, go over the Rainbow Bridge, Marion. Can you say that for people or just pets? No, the Rainbow Bridge takes you to Valhalla. Okay.

Like everyone. Just making sure. I only ever hear people say it about pets. Sure. Sure. Why is that? And I think it's the name of a Jimi Valhalla. So yeah, like everyone. Just making sure. I only ever hear people say it about pets. Sure, sure. Why is that? And I think it's the name of a Jimi Hendrix record too. Oh, nice. Yeah. Well, thank you for all this old person music

you're telling me about. And I never liked Jimi Hendrix. I liked Jimi Hendrix a lot more than the Rolling Stones. Oh really? I'm shit on the Rolling Stones if given the opportunity. I like early Rolling Stones. No.

I'm sorry, the answer is no. You're right, I don't. Okay, yes. Thank you. All right. Back to this though. Back to this piece of shit. We start off as every seventies movie should with a John on the prowl to pick up a sex worker. And they are the most tamedly dressed sex workers we've ever seen in a horror movie. They might be librarians. There's like high crocheted socks are involved.

I mean, and it does it for me. I'm not going to lie to you. I think there's something to being left to the imagination. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So he picks up one of the ladies and they go and park and the first thing she does is just like, oh, these, yeah, these are going to be out now. Oh yeah. Now I have tits. Vienna baby. I guess that's how they do it in Austria. It's like, cover your knees, let out your tits. This movie it's taking place in Vienna. We will show you none of the sites. You know why it's not in Vienna. They were like, this is Europe. We do Europe.

I can't remember where I watched it first. Did I watch it first on the Roku channel? Wait, had you seen this movie before? No. So you watched it more than once for this. Yes, I watched it once. And then just so you all know, I was in the hospital is why we didn't record last week and why the episode was out. I was having some health issues.

Had to get another vasectomy. They said his dick was so strong, it just reattached. That's what they do for a vasectomy, right? Yes. They deted. That's what the song detachable penis by King Missal. Get out of my brain, Alan. So I got a retachable penis. It's weird that they used Velcro, but I mean, whatever.

Yeah. It's easier to clean. But you're doing good now. Yeah. So I'm doing much better now. Uh, yeah. Just, uh, look after yourselves. Thanks everyone for your kind words.

When your body says a nice thing, or says a thing to you, be like, okay, yeah, I'll listen to that. Yeah, you should. Or when your friend texts you and says, I think you should go to the hospital, maybe do that instead of going to work. Also, thanks to everybody who gave Katie

happy birthday wishes. Oh! We got a ton of happy birthday wishes on social media. I had a birthday. And this was my birthday movie that I chose, that birthday wishes. Oh! We got a ton of happy birthday wishes on our social media. I had a birthday, and this was my birthday movie that I chose, that I did. There we go. You love them titties. I do love titties.

I mean, who doesn't love titties? Who doesn't love titties? Show me a person who doesn't love titties, and I say, why don't you love titties? Whom star you? Whom star you? Tell me about yourself. So, of course, he pulls out a straight razor and kills the woman, and her reaction is, ah!

Ah! So of course he pulls out a straight razor and kills the woman and her reaction is, ah, a really loud plane lands. It's, I thought, is it going to crash? Is it landing on the car? Yes, it does. And then a Freud quote. Yes. It's something about thou shalt not kill being in the commandments and there's the love of murder and the blood. Of course it's Freud, but it's very fucking funny how it's revealed where like the quote is up for a while and then it's like, what? It's very good. And that plane that was arriving at the airport was bringing the stars of our film. A diplomat and his wife.

I did not catch that he was a diplomat the first time I watched. So we were like, we're going to record last week. So I watched this movie last week and then last night I was like, I'll rewatch it again. Oh God. I got like a half hour and two hours. I was like, Oh no, we're watching this again. No, no, no, no, no, no. But in the beginning they're like, Hey ambassador, we need you.

And I was like, Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. Did you think they were just calling him a bustardo? I tell you what, I regret not being alive in a time where turban wearing would be acceptable for a white lady like myself. I just, this era, early 1970s style is, muah, to me. Oh, the one hotel room that they go in

has the worst decor you've ever seen and it's somehow amazing. My whole home to look like that, yes. Look like old people candy threw up in here. Love that. Ribbon candy for everyone. So it's Julie and what is her husband's name? Julie's husband.

Julie's husband. Neil. Neil, Neil. Julie's husband. Neil. Neil, Neil. He's an American. Is she an American? No. She is an Italian French actress. But is she meant to be American?

No, I think she's meant to be Viennese maybe? Oh, this is her hometown. That makes sense, because all these people are her people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I mean, no one has any sort of accent, basically, that makes any sort of sense for where they are. And I watched the, and I'm sure you did as well,

the dubbed version of this. I did. Yeah. So we didn't get Carol in her natural habitat. I love Carol so much. Carol is everything. She's so great. She's fantastic. So there's a scene that's so great. She's fantastic. So there's a literal scene,

there's a scene that's literally less than one second where she gets in the cab and then the scene cuts. And immediately they're being pulled over and she like sticks her head out the window at the cop and it's like, what's this for? The cab driver's talking to the cop and the cop's like, well, there was a murder real, real bad, really, really, really, really bad.

And the cabbie says like, was it the sex feed? And the cop goes, yes. And he's still using the razor. Thank you for this exposition. Still yes. We're looking for the lady killer. Still using the razor. Oh my God. That's great. Oh, but the first time I watched this, the subtitles and the dialogue were insanely off. I think they were both from different translations from Italian. Oh, brother.

I didn't watch it on Shudder. And then last night when I was watching on Shudder, they matched up perfectly. Oh, I watched it on Shudder. I did not. Yeah, I didn't watch it on Shudder because you hadn't finished it. So I didn't want to mess up. Oh, I watched it in one go. Oh, maybe I got in there when you got up for a break. Yeah. Who knows? Who's can say? Who's can say? Who's can say? Sorry, I messed up your shutter. Maybe I should just get my own at this point. I don't know, so we can watch things at the same time.

If we watch things at the same time, we'll just go to the same house. Fair enough, okay, I like that. Are you watching the movie right now? I'm coming over. I'm coming over. The caddy also says we need to legalize the death penalty again.

And I thought, Jesus fuck, it's 1971. America is actual trash. Like we are well trash. Yeah. Yeah. Luckily we've. Getting better every day. And we have to.

We get a flashback that's triggered by her finding out that there's a lady killer in town. Yes. She's having a daylight flashback where she's running in the woods and then falling so badly. Falling like a maniac. And the man she's running from looks like someone surgically implanted

Charlton Heston's face onto like Doug Jones' skinny ass body. It looks so weird and disconcerting. And then put like a Lego head of hair on him, like one of those ones that just fits over the top. He is the weirdest looking man. Yeah. And this is, this is John, her ex lover, Jean, stop calling yourself John. Nothing about this man that says John. No, I don't, I don't like him.

Oh no, no, because he comes up I don't like him. Oh no. No, because he comes up and slaps her a couple of times. Slaps the shit out of her. Yeah. And then her lip is bleeding and then he kisses her and I wrote, yuck. And then he rips her top off. Oh, a titillating rape scene that no one warned me about, but it isn't a rape scene. Is it?

In typical seventies fashion, she's into it. But is this like, was this a role play they were doing? So this is her strange vice. It is blood. She gets off on like physical blood S&M. I don't think it's, I think it's specifically blood. But there's like the cutting and the slapping are part of it. Yeah, because she's got to bleed. Sure. Yeah. Okay. You can get blood. I can get you blood. I don't need it. Thank you. I'm full up at the moment. No, that just says, Oh no, Katie. What have I done? Yeah. It was like five minutes into the movie and I thought about texting you and being

like, nah, but it was the night before and I movie. And I thought about texting you and being like, nah, but it was the night before and I don't know, it was too late. Then we go back to the present and there's an exchange of money and shillings is the money. And I was like, yes. Shillings? In Vienna?

In Vienna in 1971. Okay, all right, Sergio. This is a film by Sergio Martino. So we take Sergio's word. It sounds like a name you'd make up for an Italian character. It does. I'd call him Sergio, Sergio, but that's just me.

Sure, sure. You're long history with him. How much you love him. Yeah. Also, I think this actor playing Julie is his sister-in-law. Oh, Edwig Fennec. Heck of a name. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's cool. She's a fucking stunning. Yeah. Yeah. She's cool. She's a stunningly beautiful human being. She sure is. Yeah. Uh, a lot of my notes are just like, fuck, I love everything about the way she looks. I love her makeup. I love her clothes. And then I wrote, I was just born too late, but then I'd be older than I am now. And I wouldn't like that very much either. I have no memory of that. Whoa.

I'm sorry. Your subconscious was like, I got this one. Take it back, see you girl. Pull up. So when she gets dropped off at her hotel or house or whatever. Condo? I'm gonna go with condo.

And she sees the car from the flashback parked outside. Right. And she freaks out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then she goes upstairs to draw a bath and like somehow we see her boobs. I mean, she's immediately nude. And like a scene that I don't feel like you'd see nowadays. She's like bent over boobs hanging. Yeah. Cause that's not a great angle for boobs in general. No'd see nowadays, she's like bent over boobs hanging. Yeah, cause that's not a great angle for boobs in general.

No, but it's also a great angle for boobs. I mean, all angles are great angles for boobs. Don't get me wrong. It's not like dicks where you only have a few, you know? It's true. It's true. You gotta take it up and to the left and push your lips. Oh, Alan's mining a selfie right now.

AlanSensNudes.com. Go to my OnlyFans. I really think you're onto something with this. I'm calling it LonelyFans. Has that, how has that not been done? Like Tony's Chocolonely. I don't like Tony's Chocolonely. It's fine.

I think it's trash actually. Whoa. I do. I'm gonna go out, it's too thick. It is very thick. It's too thick to be that crumbly. It's true. It's just not right. Get your shit together, Tony. Call it Chocolonely, not Chocolonely. Is it called Chocolonely? No, I always thought it would. No. So she's running this bath into the bell rings in her hotel condo, Holiday Inn. She's gonna go, she's gonna go answer it, even though she's naked

and under no obligation to do so. Yeah, she puts on a bathroom. Don't do this, don't go. You don't have to answer the door. And in typical Gialla fashion, she looks through the peephole and there is just flowers out up to the peephole. This is the thing I like about Jolla movies, this like little detail of that.

Everyone could be the killer. Everyone could be the killer. And she opens the door and a guy says, you got flowers, here are our flowers. It's just the bellboy or whatever. And fucking most 15 year old boyfriend poem that's ever existed is handed to her in these flowers. The worst part of you is the best thing you've got

and it will always be mine, John. John or I don't know, Blink 182. I mean, yeah, it's like, is this a bad translation or is this a pop punk song? The worst part of you is the best thing you've got and it will always be mine, whoa. The worst part of you is the best thing you've got and it will always be mine. Whoa. But she's okay. She seems like a bit of an icy bitch, you know? Yeah. She's all right. Yeah. Again, doing it for me. Yeah. Oh yeah. She's great. So then she goes to a party.

I would like you to explain this adult party that she goes to. It is a dancing party with lady strippers. Are they strippers or are they just two women at the party in paper dresses? Why would they be wearing paper dresses if it wasn't an act? I don't know, because some random guy just rips her dress off.

Yeah. And also, it's an adult party. And I emphasize that because there are multiple couples just hogging space and making out at this party. And at a 50 year old man, I would spin on my heels and walk away from that house. This is a nut for me. No, how fucking uncomfortable. This thing I was, I was born at just the right time. Free love. Seriously.

But although we meet Carol. Yeah, Carol. Carol's got lips for days. Carol has everything for days. She's a dreamboat. She's an absolute dreamboat. Carol and her cousin? George.

George. The Australian George. George. He's from Australia. He's not. He's not. He's not there. I thought they were they kissing, kissing cousins, kissing cousins. Are they a couple? Cause it's like we as cousins inherited money, but also isn't he fucking so hot? I'm going to fuck this shit out of him.

And he's like, I feel like Carol is ready. Carol will fuck. Yeah. Carol's DTF as they would say. He came all the way from Australia. He told me that we got inherited money from an aunt I didn't even know about. So weird. So weird. You're immediately like your wool. He's the killer. So there's yes, ladies ripping paper clothing off each other. They get down to just like little black mesh thongs and their tits are just

everywhere. And then the scene cuts with them like pulling their undies off each other. They get down to just like little black mesh thongs and their tits are just everywhere. And then the scene cuts with them like pulling their undies off each other. And there's a dog pile of people going in to like get as close as possible to this sex act at an adult party. I mean, you were alive in the seventies. You explain this to me.

As a one year old, I can tell you. No, I wasn't even one. Sorry, as a negative three year old. A a one year old, I can tell you. No, I wasn't even one. I was alive for like the star wars part of the seventies, not for the walk, a walk apart. Oh my God. I haven't heard this as the titty bells getting workout. Sure is actually let me reach it. That's going to be the only time I do it though. Cause it's a little chilly up here and I want to have my legs curled up.

So at the dress ripping party, Yes. As, I mean, and everyone's like, these women go down, take their thongs off, everyone's like, hee hee hee hee, ha ha ha, this is the best. It's absolute glee from all parties. And like, you can't be mad at that.

No. No. I'm not here to kink shame, I'm just here to ask kink. Why? It's just not kink for me. I will ruin your party if I'm not. No, thank you. No, thank you. I don't want to do. Thank you. You're just eating pigs in a blanket, dipping them in mustard and being like, I don't get this. I just got pita chips and spinach dip and I'm facing the wall.

Someone let me know when it's over and we can go back to dancing. I don't get this. I just got pita chips and spinach dip and I'm facing the wall. Someone let me know when it's over and we can go back to dancing. And I'm eating it out of those beautiful brown ceramics of the seventies. Absolutely. So Jean shows up. Jean. And Julie confronts Carol like, why did you invite him?

And she's like, cause I did. Cause she's Carol. I am coked out of my mind right now. I'm gonna fuck my cousin. Julie leaves. Why would you go outside by yourself if you're afraid of this man? Ask someone to go out with you

and wait for your ride from your dad. She is our quintessential makes the bad decision character. Absolutely. Yeah, her dad's coming. She just has to wait for her dad to get there. Her dad's been. Her dad's been is wildly older than her. Yes. Yes. So she goes outside. He follows. Of course he does. There's an altercation. Yes. He's holding her arm and hurting her. Won't let her go. And then Neil shows up. Her old man shows up and hits John, which is all right by me.

Her old man shows up and hits John, which is all right by me. I don't remember any of this movie. I'm going strictly from the notes. And John's reaction is, yeah, we don't think, we just think you're a dick. No one thinks you're crazy. No, he like looks piteously at Neil and then laughs and leaves. Oh man. And one of them says, you know what that man is like pervert and maniac. So we get another flashback. This one was too much. John has a green glass bottle and this I'm telling you, this isn't, this is important because of what happens in a second. So he breaks the glass bottle.

He's poured wine on her from it, yeah. And that, which I'm pretty sure was water. Cause they're like, I'm not wasting fucking wine on this. Wine's expensive here in Vienna. The end of the mind. So he breaks the glass bottle and we see the glass shatter and it is white sugar glass flying through the air, hitting her in the face.

Why did you have a green bottle to begin with guys? I know it was like Fulci would have hit her with that glass. Oh yeah Fulci would have just made her suffer. Argento as well yeah. Love glass in women's heads. Argento would have pushed her face through the bottle. So the glass goes all over her and then he comes at her with the broken bottle. Cuts her.

Rips open her nightgown with it first, which is like very tedious, I would imagine. And then cuts her. At some point she should just be, you know, I could just, I can get them out. Like it's not, you don't have to like barge in there if we're like, if this is our thing, like you're ruining a lot of clothes. Exactly. I mean, like, if this is your thing, fucking in broken glass, I don't know. At this point, I thought she, that she had had this affair with him while married to Neil.

And I was like, this is a terrible way to keep an affair secret. Like coming home just covered in gore. Just looking like Darby crash coming in the house. I don't know what that means. He's the singer for the germs. He's to cut himself on stage. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Sorry. I tried to get in one of those hip new references for the kids. You're so close.

In 1979. You know new hip hop, yeah. What's that? You know new hip hop, don't you? I, I, no. You dabble. Yeah, I dabble in like old man new hip hop. Yeah. Like Billy Woods and stuff. I see none of it with that is either. Yeah, but he's been around since like the late 90s. Okay, fine. Yeah, no. I mean, I tried listening to juice world. Oh, that

is on the fortnight. Okay. I was like, Oh, and he passed away a few years ago. He was murdered. Oh gosh. And, uh, but they did like a bunch of like shout outs to him on fortnight for some reason. That's a thing. I guess. Can I, will you teach me to play fortnight? Yeah. A hundred percent. Thanks. Uh, we'll have a land party. It'll be great. Do you ever land parties? This is the first thing you've said I've known. But juice world is like that mumble rap that just isn't for me. No, not for me. Yeah. Say your words. I'm sorry. I'm an old woman now. I'm sorry, but big daddy Kane enunciated.

So yeah, she gets stabbed. They have sex, yada, yada, yada, history repeats or something. And then she doesn't tell her husband about what's going on, like that she's getting the flowers and stuff. If you're in a relationship where you can't tell your partner about this weird shit that's going on with you. Especially because he knows about John. And he fucking massacred her. He's mad if he just punched him.

Yeah. It's very strange. All of her behavior is very strange. It's so weird. Yeah. So then we get the paper dress wrestler going home. This is how we refer to this woman. She is a paper dress wrestler. and she goes to take a shower.

You're not going to believe this. Katie. She sees your tits. Hold on. I'm gonna do it one more time. And she takes a shower in a way that I hate so fucking much. Touching the shower curtain is wrapped around her butt cheeks. No one touches a shower curtain while the showering. Do they like, do you say, if it happened, you're like, oh shit, if you're out there and you purposefully touch the shower curtain while showering, get in touch. I need to know more about you.

You let that shower curtain cup your cheeks. Get in touch. I have to hear your story. And I was only like, I could only assume like, oh, we could show her butt, but you know, you won't accidentally show her. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, we'll just wrap a shower curtain around and make her shower like that. Very weird. So we see the, the black leather gloves picking the lock. Yeah. He's got a straight razor.

And he slips her throat, but her tits look great. So what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Cut to Julie and Carol out of shopping, doing lady shit. Women be shopping, shopping, Doing lady shit. Women be shopping. Women be shopping. Women be talking. Jesus. And she talks to her. She gets a ticket and the cops are like,

you can pay it now. And she's like, no, I collect police autographs. She is insane. She loves cops and men who collect women's underwear. And she gets a newspaper. She's fucking insane. This is the most insane thing I've ever heard in an Italian movie ever. women's underwear. Get to newspaper. She's fucking insane. This is the most insane thing I've ever heard in an Italian movie ever.

And the headline in the newspaper is about the lady killer, which had she read the article, she would know killed a person that was at the party she was hosting last night. Yeah. One who she may have hired or at least saw the vulva of at a bare minimum. I don't want to know anything and I don't want any confirmation. This is just the closest I'm ever going to get to knowing what a diddy freak off party was like. Yeah, this was it. Yeah, for sure. Um, so she, she reads about the lady killer and she says we should be grateful cause the

killer is eliminating our competition. Holy shit. Carol. You get these first wave feminists out here. Honestly, Carol. I mean, this is a movie about the fear of women's sexuality, right? Sure. Yeah. But it takes it a bit far in a number of ways. Cut to they go back to the hotel room, holiday in, and condo, what's, whatever it is. And there's the maid in there. And she says, there's a man outside and he wanted to come in. So I let him. Yeah. Who is it? Who is it? I don't know.

George. It's George. She says, I take things when they're good and when they're not, I just don't think about it. That's what Julie says. And you're like, wow, you're stupid, Julie. Julie is a stupid person. She, George is like, look, I am 100% into you.

I love you. I want to marry you and have sex with you right now. I know my cousin can hear this, I understand that. Also, I came to see your husband about international monetary funds. What? I assumed he was a banker. I have no idea what he did.

What the fuck is happening? Oh, you mean the ambassador. Yeah. Gotcha. So they're going to go get lunch. They go to their favorite restaurant, but they can't get a table because George has reserved three tables. Why did he reserve three and not just one?

Huh? Was he planning on them all sitting alone? No, but he wanted to get all of them so they couldn't get a table, so they had to sit with him. Oh. And I'm like, oh, so he's a fucking creep. He's a creep. And he also says the line, my specialty is courting ladies in the presence of their husbands,

which is just down and dirty. I'm going to write my initial on this apple so you could eat it and think about eating me. Sir, this is a weird first date. And then she immediately eats the apple. And I was like, Julie, we have talked about this. Julie, get your head out of your ass. We'll all take three of Carol's Usuals.

I'd love to be somewhere that I have a usual though. When we go into Trams, if Missy's there with me, we get spring rolls. We don't have to order them. Very exciting. I always get something different everywhere I go. Oh, look at you. I'm very important and special like that. Very unique. I am a basic B and we'll just like, I like that. That's the thing I'll order every time I come here. What if that's only like a four on the 10 scale of liking something?

It makes me happy. What if you could be happier? Would you just strive? something. Yeah, it makes me happy. What if you could be happier? Would you just strive? So now she's on the back of a motorcycle and it's just absolutely in love with him. Can you slow down? Can you slow down? I hate this. I love you so much. Oh my God. Fuck me. Is this the same day? Didn't they just have dinner? It's like an afternoon of just weird stimulation. I don't know what's happening. It's me. He drops her off and she's like, I owe you an apology. That was great. I love you now. Hiding your true nature is a real strain. What are you talking about? She goes outside, she gets a phone call and she's like, George, leave me alone. I can't talk to you right now, George.

And then he walks in the door, not on the phone. And he's like, well, why? And I was like, this is not a translation issue. No, it is not. This is just bad. It's just bad. I love you. People don't say things like that anymore. Is this what the 70s were like? Yes. So they make out, of course. Yeah. Here's the thing.

She ends up like falling deeply in love with George and fucking George all the time. But George doesn't do her weird sex stuff. No. Maybe that was just her and Jean. I guess, yeah. Jean Valjean. But the whole movie is called

The Strange Vice of Mrs. Ward. It's weird that it doesn't take more of a front seat. The wild thing is that's it for the strange vice. It's done. It's over. We don't see it again. No. And then this movie is like, hey, actually I'm a different movie now. So if you want to do something else. Yeah. If you want to just maybe, maybe that's when I took a break. You're offended because I won't see you because I like you too much. You fucking hated him earlier today. Women, am I right?

Shopping. Women be shopping, women be changing their minds. He also says to her, what you really are doesn't matter to me, it's what I can see and feel that counts. Which is more than words by the band Extreme. He's also spying on her at one point, but we're supposed to think it's the killer,

but it's obviously George. Wait, really? Yeah. I thought it was John. No, it's George. George's head of hair with a pair of leather gloves and binoculars on his face. Oh yeah, you're right. Well, there's a lot of red herrings in this movie and as it turns

out there are no red herrings in this movie. Everyone you suspected, they actually did it. They did it. It's like the end of Clue. So at this point I got a little bored so I was reading about Edwig and her Wikipedia has a very judgy sentence in it. What does it say? Where it says, she considers herself Catholic. But the Pope doesn't.

I guess not. Wow. Do you think old papa was like, go in and fix a little Wikipedia on her? I don't think she's a Catholic. Check and see who made the edit and see what else he's edited. Oh my God. Oh, and also at this point, I thought the murder was definitely the cabbie from the beginning of the movie. What made you think that?

I don't know. It's as plausible as anything else really, when you get down to it. So her and her husband are having issues. He takes off. Wait a minute. Is this where they, where she fucks George for the first time? And I was like, this isn't, I don't think this is sex. Where it looks like she's penetrating him somehow, but from his front. When I turned to Missy, I went, did we do it?

For years I have been doing it wrong. You put your vagina on my belly button. And then you just push really hard. Push a lot. Over and over. And I'm going to thrust maybe in the opposite direction. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh my God.

I don't get it at all. Fucking Carol, genius. She keeps her underwear in the oven so they're warm when she puts them on. So smart. So smart. I mean, you got to, it's got to be cotton. Like any like synthetic, it's just going to roast up in there. Yeah, I'm going to melt. But you're right. She gets in a fight with her husband first

because he, she says something with diplomats, romancing diplomats. She's like being all pissy with him because she's cheating. Oh man. And she, he asks her like, what's wrong? I want to help you just tell me what's going on. And she goes, I'm more than contented. Like, baby, he asked you should tell him. I can't wait to read his, am I the asshole? You're not Neil. I feel like Neil's out here doing his best until, but she's been, wait, how does we find out that she's being blackmailed by John? Oh God, I don't even know. How far ahead am I right now? She has to, she still has to go to breakfast with Carol. Okay. And then Carol's like, Hey, Oh, this is where at lunch we find out,

or at breakfast we find out she's being blackmailed. And Carol's like, you know what? I'll go do the fucking exchange. I'll go do it. And I'll see who it is and I'll tell you who it is. Cause I'm Carol. And I don't give a fuck about shit. I got warm ass panties on right now. That's right. Because she gets another note from John that says like, your vice is like a room locked from the inside

and only I have the key. And it's my penis. It's me cutting you and then you putting your vagina on my belly button and pushing down a few times. I mean, I've watched people masturbate their wounds in movies. So this is not going to be shocking to me. Tell me more.

There's some, I can't, oh man, I wish I could remember the name of the movie now is there's like this French movie where a woman gets a really deep cut on her leg and then becomes like sexually fascinated with it. It's real weird. Yeah. That sucks.

Just imagine that happening to you where you're like, ow, this really fucking hurts. And then you're like, ow, that sucks. I don't want that to happen to me. What if that happens to me? It's like my fear of waking up religious one day. Or you just wake up and you're like, maybe there is a God. What happens to people?

I'm scared of the world. I want you to wake up like Mormon or something. I'm just like, you know what? The LDS has a pretty good idea. You know what? I bet he did find those motherfucking plates. You know what? Polygamy.

I would love a sister wife. Are you kidding me? So someone else to help me with chores? You do me a solid you go fucking because I'm not in the mood. Really in the middle of a chapter here that I want to finish. This Jackie Collins novel isn't gonna finish it. Yeah, that's what I read.

Thank you so much, Alex. I figure once you go in a sister way of territory. You think I've gotten dumber. You need as much titillation. And we're not talking about your polycules here. No, we're talking about- We're talking straight up Sister White. We're talking about long skirts

and helping me raise my child. Yeah, we're talking about you getting an Instagram account and making millions of dollars. Fuck, you think I could? Yeah, I was listening to, Jamie Loftus has her podcast, 16th Minute of Fame. Okay.

And somebody asked her, why are there so many Mormon influencers? And she's like, I don't know. Here we go. And she went in to figure it out. Because they loved a journal, right? It's like part of their religion. Yeah, that's part of it. But also the, uh, Mormon church puts so much money into the internet to like, so like online poker, well like how YouTube, like you get paid differently for different hashtags on things and like the

Mormon or LDS hashtags pay so much more than a lot of other hashtags Oh shit, and even if you were critical, but you're still using those hashtags You're still making that money because they see it as advertising for the church. Because you're still talking about it. All Press is good press. You got it. How about that? Yeah, it was pretty wild. It's really interesting. It's pretty wild. Her podcast is great. I don't know if you've ever listened to it. No, but I should start. Currently doing a series on the Hawk to a girl. I am fascinated by her. I'm glad she got her millions. I got the fuck out. Yeah. She's also going to jail because uh, because of her meme coin

Maybe she won't you know the thing the president has and but he's not going to jail is he? Missy is so mad because of that podcast. I'm just always saying you got a hock two on that thing About like hey, can you help me chop these vegetables? Can you stop leaving your socks on the floor? You got a ho have two on that thing. You know, I've been thinking a lot about being a trad wife lately because I bought a dress online that looked really cute on the model.

And then when I put it on, it's like a sort of a high collar with the buttons up. And a sourdough starter. Yeah, I was like, oh, fuck, I look like I like goats. And then I thought, oh, I kind of do like goats. And then I thought, this actually looks kind of good on me. Should I become a trad wife?

Yeah. Only if I get like two or three sister wives though. In my family, the joke is that I'm the trad wife to Missy. No, cause you are. You're a great cook. Oh, yeah. So while she's, while Carol's going to the rendezvous for some inexplicable reason, or maybe it's to get closer to George fucking, uh, uh, Julie is watching motorcycle races

on the TV. Yeah. She's just nervously smoking at it. And I thought, is George in this? No, no. The couch that she's sitting on though is incredible. It's like a full on U shape, all rounded edges, light brown leather.

That's a fucking couch if I've ever seen one. How bad does that couch stink? So, so, so, so bad. Just cigarette smoke for days. So, so bad. Ah man, I miss smoking inside. Do you? Hey, can I tell you something?

I haven't had any nicotine since the early hours of January 1st. Oh, congratulations. Thank you so much. I am four weeks without beer. Good for you. Yeah. Yay.

Lost 13 pounds, cause it turns out. Fuck, I've put on a couple cause it turns out. Well, good for you. I was in the hospital, they weighed me and they told me my new weight. And there was part of me that would be like, it would be funny right now if I was just like, hell yeah. I love that you thought that. And then you were like, don't fucking say it.

Okay, we're moving on. Closing time at the park means it's sunset. It's closing time. Also Carol dressed the fucking nines to go make this money drop. With her warm undies. I'm glad she dies with warm undies on. Oh, and the groundskeeper is like,

hey, you gotta get out of here. The grounds are closing soon. He's like, I'd hurry up so you don't get locked in. And she goes, thank you. And then just wanders slowly in. She's like, make sure you see the Pullman house before you leave. Yeah.

The gardener's just like, nah. And then she's getting chased by the Razorman. And she's like screaming and looking behind herself and running and screaming and looking behind herself. Groundskeeper, not wearing headphones, doesn't give a shit about the screaming. No. Gardener's like, now wait a second, nothing. And then he finally can't take it anymore,

and he goes and finds her corpse. Yes, she's been all cut up with a razor. Yeah, yeah. And my next notes are just says, hell yeah, this cop, his tie looks like a hot dog. I don't know what that means, Did it look like a hot dog? Was it red with brown on the side? This is where we see Jean's house also. Oh my God.

So he's an exotic animal guy. Yeah. And a pervert photographer. I hate everything about him. Is that a badger? Like, what is that in his house? The stuffed thing? No, the thing that's walking around. I was focused on the iguana. Yeah, I do like an iguana quite a bit. I don't wanna hang out with an iguana though. Like, I like to know iguanas are out there.

I used to babysit for people who had a pet iguana. His name was Mike. He lived in the laundry room mostly and you just had to feed him a bunch of lettuce. Yeah. His name is Mike. Oh, OK. He lived in the laundry room mostly, and you just had to feed him a bunch of lettuce. You seem very sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like them because they're dinosaurs. Sure, yeah.

I just want a pet I can cuddle with. Yeah. And like a cuddle iguana. You're just here for the warmth. You're just taking my warmth, buddy. That's what all pets are doing. They're just stealing our souls. And our breath.

Come on, our cats are stealing our breath. Oh, yeah. They do that to babies. Got to keep them out of cribs. Mm-hmm. I ever tell you that when I got a cat, my mom was like, you got to watch it. They'll And our breath. Come on, our cats are stealing our breath. Oh yeah, they do that to babies. Gotta keep them out of cribs. I ever tell you that when I got a cat, my mom was like, you gotta watch it, they'll take your breath. Hi, your mom believed that, huh?

She also didn't think bubble bees could sting. You, I thought that until you told me otherwise. I think that's a common misconception. I had to have a phone call with my mom and be like, yo, remember when I was eight and you told me the bumble bees couldn't sting? I'm sorry, that's not on eight and you told me the button please couldn't stay? I'm sorry. That's not on her.

That's on the society. What you say about a bumblebee is what you say about society. I love that you get a rush in wherever you can. Always. That's on rules though. So yeah, it's the cops that go to John's house, right? Yeah. Because Julie is 100% convinced it's John.

Right. Yeah. And of course she is, because it seems like it should be. Right, because he seems like a murder pervert. And they're like arguing and the cop is just watching their argument like a curious observer in a bar,

like get some fucking control here. So he has this whole conversation with the two of them, the cop does. And the cop has both the accuser and the accused in a room together with a closed door. And then he's like, uh, he was at a bowling alley and I'm just revealing that now. What, why did you have this whole thing then? I'm surprised he didn't throw a ream of paper in her face to call her a stupid bitch. Yeah, because I think Jeanne turns him and says she has a blood fetish that turns her on. Why does the cop need to know that? And then she's leaving and George comes in and then her husband comes in.

Yes. And before that though, the cop just goes, I don't like your sex habits. The dialogue in this movie is exceptionally good. Maybe it's just a really bad translation, but I like it. I could only assume. So then we get this like killer in the parking lot scene. But George, no, George, I need to talk about what George says. Oh, okay.

He's like, I have to speak to your husband and I am taking you away from here. It's like, yeah, I'm sure he'll be good with that. I'm sure Neil will be fine with this idea that you're going to just do that. Yeah. Actually, he will be. But that, but doesn't, this is what I'm saying. The Julie is a very stupid person because I think you would be like, hello, a fair partner. Please don't tell my husband you're taking me away with you. We can run away. There doesn't have to be an announcement. We don't have, we're not a flight.

I don't think you need to tell him specifically. We don't have to announce our departure. We could just move on with this. Oh, we're also told in that meeting with a cop that Julie doesn't have a car and that she just gets out and gets in a car and drives away. that Julie doesn't have a car? And then she just gets out and gets in a car and drives away? Whose car is that, Julie? So there's this scene where she's in the parking garage after she parked the car that isn't hers.

That she double parks, maybe she just doesn't have a license. And the lights go out in the parking garage and then some headlights come on and then some other headlights come on. And I'm like, yo, how many fucking killers are there? Yeah. It's good, I like this bit.

Yeah, and then a killer comes down the elevator. So I'm like, okay, there's at least two. Right, well, there's at least three because there's headlights flashing from two directions. Oh my God. And then she- She goes to take the elevator. Never take the elevator when there's a killer on the loose. It's like a goddamn fire. You take the stairs. Yeah. Never take a thing that you can't see what's happening outside of the thing.

Or that you have to wait for, get your body moving. I love that she gets back into her car and then just drives closer to the door that she wants to reach. I was like, oh, she's going to leave the garage. No, she's driving to the door. The elevator. She's so stupid. And he swings the razor and hurts and just misses somehow. Oh, my God. He does not see where she goes from there.

It's just absolutely pandemonium. And he puts his hand in that elevator because he has learned nothing. And then there's like a, we think the killer's coming up the steps, but it's just some nerd talking to her husband, right? Yeah. And then Neil and Julie go to confront Jean, his house and they walk into his house. So it's weird because they get to his house and she sees his car and gasps, but you're at his house. When you expect to see his car, it wouldn't be weird for it to be there. It's so weird. They go into John's like, it's a haunted house. Yeah. Yeah.

Which it kind of is with all them nudie photos and him not paying the power bill apparently. And also like we've seen that this house is full of birds. It would never be so quiet. House full of birds could never be this quiet. Oh, this is kind of like the dude's house, the, the, uh, animal poacher from Slaughterhouse. Oh yeah. You're right about that. Well, that's something to think about. Um, the bat apparently just has free reign of the apartment. He's just flying around. Loudest bat that's ever existed. It screams.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what. Hanging out with our friend, Pie, from the Land Down Under. Yeah. I was getting nervous because there were some bats where we were, because I'm a little scared of bats, because they're flying rodents. Sure.

And they're scary. And they're little draculas. And they're little draculas. And they are little draculas and they buzz you. And she was like, where, where the fuck are bats? And I was like pointing to them and she was like, oh, do you know what bats look like in Australia? They're 15 feet tall. Yes, they're like wingspans of a condor.

Do you know what spiders look like in Australia? They're the size of dinner plates. She was like, those are cute. I was like, no, they're not. Obviously has never had one stuck in her hair. We're in her chimney. I can remember my, I had a friend who had a pool with lights in it. So it would attract bugs and then it would attract like bats. And I remember a woman that we were hanging out with got a bat right in her hair. And then it like got all tangled up.

And I probably fucking panicked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They both panicked. Everybody was panicking. Hitting her with a baseball bat. Tennis racket probably. Lacrosse stick. Yes.

Oh yeah, Delaware. The home of lacrosse. But they find John super fucking dead in the tub. Sure. So what do they do? They just leave. They take a camera and leave. Yes. Take camera.

They probably ought to tell the police. He's an ambassador. He has diplomatic immunity. Exactly, he can do whatever he wants. He can do whatever he wants. And then I was like, okay, so he's definitely the killer. The husband, yeah. But then they go out, okay, so he's definitely the killer, the husband, yeah. But then they go out to the car

and there's flowers in the car. And his car is gone, his little car is gone. Who took it? She doesn't tell her husband that there's flowers in the car. No, flowers are in the back seat with a note that says, because they wanted to know too much, Adam and Eve were kicked out of paradise.

Yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, she does tell him because he crushes the note and throws the flowers on the ground. Oh, right. He's mad. He's big mad now. He's big mad.

Yeah. My next note has John and Carol giggling away and George is also there because reasons, but I don't know what that means. She has a dream. Oh, okay. That they're all making fun of her. Oh, okay.

Yeah. All this shit's going on and she's having a nightmare about being made fun of. Come on, Julie. Get your fucking priorities right. Listen, if you get your boobs out as much as I do. Sleeping with a titty out, a bloody titty, and she's getting slapped. That's like the tagline of this film.

Sleeping with a titty out. That happens sometimes. Oh yeah. I've been around titties. Alex, you go to sleep in a tank top, you're in bed and your tits are down the hall brushing their teeth, you know? Hey, same thing happens with testicles, Katie. Oh, good to know. Oh, those go on the floor.

So she's going to go to Spain with George, she leaves a note for Neil. Yeah, she leaves a note for Neil because she's going with go to Spain with George. She leaves a note for Neil. Yeah. She leaves a note for Neil because she's going with George. You're right. Yeah. So this movie is just like, I don't know over here, let's go. Yeah. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It's great.

And someone says that they developed the photo and it's like a photo of the man in the garage and they're like, Oh, this proves it wasn't John. And I was like, doesn't John's dead body prove that it wasn't John? Nope. He didn't even report his death. Like, what are you talking about? Who developed the photo? I don't remember. I don't remember. No, it was just like, they just had a developed photo from the camera they stole. Oh, right. Jesus Christ. They decided to go to Spain, do George and Julie. And now the killer's waiting on a new lady, a flight attendant. Yes.

Um. Whose phone is still working even though the power is off? Yeah. And that's not how that works. No. No. He's here to murder her, but I can't understand why. He's here to murder her and seems preoccupied't understand why. He's here to murder her and seems preoccupied

with other things. Yeah, that's really it. His MO is very confusing. She throws a phone at him, and then she stabs him and kills his ass. She gets him with a knife that she had by her bedside, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tough lady. Oh, because he jumps at her, and she stabs him mid-jump. Yeah. So the killer is now dead. Yeah. Yeah. Do we see his face at this point?

Yeah. OK. He's just like some dude. We're like, I don't know him. Yeah. Is that the? No, it's not the cabbie. No.

It's not the cabbie. We cut to a spear gun and George and Julie doing vacation shit. It's like an episode of Death in Paradise. But it's like, she's like, ugh, I hate scuba diving. Hates sports. And he goes, my favorite sport requires your participation. And I was like, oh, slick.

And how is she maintaining that eye makeup in a snorkel? I sneeze my mascara comes off. I don't know. Also, I think that the look of the woman from the love witch is based on her. I think so too. Absolutely. I thought about that during this movie. I forgot about that. And then I thought, boy, I hated that movie. Really hated it. I think we hated it more than most people. People loved it. I don't know what,

I don't remember why we hated it, but I remember being like, fuck this. Just does not hit for me. Yeah. So yeah, again, auto-correct killer jumps in her was meant to be killer jumps on her. No, it just jumps right inside. Now, Georgia Julia spearfishing, scuba fucking is a note that I have. Yep.

This is where I started questioning whether the sex that she was having with George was satisfying because she's got the, I mean, the movie is called Strange Vice. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of, uh, lots of, uh, in their like sex scene on the boat, there's lots of dragging lips across each other. Like, what are we doing here?

What is this? I just want you to smell like the spit. You ever empty the spit valve on a trumpet? So they see a newspaper when they get back to shore post scuba fucking. Um, that the killer is dead. Yes. It's over now. Yeah, but then she gets flowers on the street.

A kid walks up to her and gives her flowers, but the man who gave him, gave them to him is gone. Yeah. And the note says, seeing that the living, seeing that the living don't bring flowers to the dead, the dead bring flowers to the living. Jean. Yeah. Okay. Jean.

Slow your roll. Here I've written, okay, it's very clear that Neil is the killer, but actually, wait, that other guy was the killer, so hang on now. Somebody shoots a spear gun at her that sticks in a tire and everyone around her goes, ha! Yes, a spear gun shoot in a miss and she starts running and someone goes, are you ill? Did you not just fucking see what happened? You were right there. She's not sick. She's ill. And then she looks out into the water and it zooms in.

And I watched this part three times trying to figure out what happened, but no, nothing. Altimo Squallo peeks up at the water. Is there anything in that scene? Why does it zoom in like that? Hoops can say what Sergio was thinking at this point. Sergio, Sergio, Sergio. She's driving around in a convertible. I think I'd put the roof up if someone wanted to shoot me

with a spear gun, just a thought. She's driving like a maniac in this tiny Spanish town. Leading whomever it is back to her place. Where she's allegedly hiding out. So she gets home and passes out. She sees dripping. Oh, blood on the curtains. It looks like blood, yeah. Blood behind the out. She sees dripping. Like it looks like blood. Yeah. Blood behind the curtain. She remembers the bathtub with John in it and then she faints and she is picked

up by a man for the second time in this movie. And then he rouses her with his cologne. He uncorks a bottle of cologne and puts her under her nose saying, it's George. It's George. You could smell this Dracarne war. It's me. Oh man. Yeah. As someone who wears cologne, I would not put it under someone's nose to wake them up. That's when they made smelling salts.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, so he leaves to go get the doctor at the pharmacy. Right. He takes off rather than using the landline. Yes. Yeah. Um, has he also noticed that the blood on the floor is the rust from the radiator leaking? Not yet, because he brings the doctor back with him and I, I have a note that says, George doesn't notice the dripping blood and neither does the doctor. And they have stripped her down to a completely transparent bra.

The doctor's giving her a shot and he's getting a nip shot at the same time. To which I wrote, how is this movie still happening? It's endless. I mean, granted Europe has a much different relationship with breasts. Sure. The puritanical American does. And also a doctor seeing your nips than the puritanical American does. And also a doctor seeing your nips is pretty common. Sure.

Yeah. I show them into them even if they don't want them. I'm like, I have a sore throat. Check out these tits. Patients gone wild. Why have I written here Dr. Arby's? I don't know, because he looked like roast beef. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, but I have a note that says he's getting a second doctor. Oh, that's Dr. Arby's. I have a note here that says, Oh, this must be Dr. Arby's whose car

isn't working. I'm going up to the cast to see if his name is Dr. Harbie. I'm pretty sure it is. Dr. Harbie. H-A-R-B-E. Close enough. You know, on the West Coast, I've noticed Dr. Carl's Jr. Dr. Carl's Jr. So, but yes, he has noticed that the blood is not blood.

It's just rust. And then he just leaves her. I thought, God, leave her a note. Clean it up. And then, is this when Jeanne shows up? Well, first she sees the black sneakers in the bloody curtain area, but there's obviously no one there.

But for some reason, George has placed sneakers there and she gets really mad at the wall. What a fucking idiot. Julie is so incredibly stupid. But then she gets chloroformed by Virjane. Yes, I know those weird ear wings of hair anywhere. I was like, man, chloroforming used to be way more of a thing than it is nowadays. Yeah, maybe we should bring back chloroforming. You know, do you remember when people would ice each other with like a smirnoff ice? I think you and I should start doing a chloroform thing where we try to get each other in public. Like I sneak up at your office and just chloroform you. That would be fun.

How did you break your arm? She got me. I didn't see it coming. And then I fell down the flight steps because she knocked my ass the fuck out. Oh man, this is the last time I play chloroform with Katie. I'm so sneaky. She hid in a cake. She knows my weaknesses. So John's gonna like, he's gonna set it up so that she's, it looks like a suicide or death. He's doing the genius thing of rubbing her fingers on duct tape before he uses the

duct tape. This is a very protracted scene. Because there's a fucking interminable scene where in order to sneak out and make sure that the door is locked. Luckily, they have a lock that you can fit an ice cube in and as the ice cube melts, the door will lock. And I was like, Mr, if you just kind of set it and then close the door, that's gonna, that's gonna latch right away there.

Hop right in there. And also like, I'm thinking at this point, well, he doesn't know when George is coming back. So it's an incredibly risky maneuver to base your whole thing on an ice cube melting. On room temperature. Yeah. I also thought he was just like being a dick using all the ice without refilling it.

Like he knocked her out and then was like, fuck you when you wake up, your drinks gonna be warm. Also, but I did realize, I was like, oh, that's a fucking genius move though. That's really smart. I like it as a movie concept. Maybe not a real life one. She wakes up, she passes out again. And for some reason the doctor,

Dr. Arby's tells George that it's easier to tell her I'm not a doctor. Why? I want to know when someone's a doctor, if they're treating me with medicine, it's cause he's got the meats. I don't know. I don't know. I've got the meat. What is happening? So they get into the kitchen. George and Dr. Arby's come in.

Yes. And she's laying there in the gas. There's a strong smell of gas. And they're like, oh my God, we have to resuscitate her. And the doctor's like, I can't, she's dead, I'm sorry. The doctor is so ready to burst down the door though, which I really appreciate. Yeah. And then George says to him, try not to breathe deeply.

He says this to the actual medical doctor. I think he knows. Also, this doctor seems to think her lungs are in her abdomen when he goes to listen to them. Hey man, by the way that she has sex, they might be. Oh yeah. I got like a mid tier vagina. You should check that. That's right in the, right in the carapace right up here. I have to say that my vagina has some distance from my lungs. I don't think they're in the

same place. Well, you're not a famous actress in the seventies, are you? No, fuck. Probably neither was she. Nor will I ever be. Oh, that's not true. You're in a movie. I am in a movie. So yeah, so, so, uh, Julie is dead. George talking to the cops and Neil shows up and he's like, Oh man, my wife's dead. Oh man. I'm so bummed.

Oh man. And then jean is in the desert. Yeah. George is like stalking across the desert and sees Jean. Yeah. Go ahead. You're on your own with this. They see each other and they're like, Hey, hey, we're in cahoots.

Yes. They explain this whole Jean MacDonald Canadian nationality ruse they're doing. Okay. Donald Canadian nationality ruse they're doing. Okay. So they were in cahoots to kill people. Yeah. Kill women. Yeah, Jean and George. Yeah.

And then George kills Jean. Yes, I actually really like this shot of the, he's wearing like aviator sunglasses and you see the shooting in the reflection of the sunglasses. I thought that was really cute and clever. Yeah. George, you dog. And then who comes to pick him up in a car?

Well he says to John, he says with Julie dead, you couldn't bear to live. What a romantic way to go and puts the gun in his hand to make it look like John killed himself. Neil gets off a train. He pulls off his face to reveal that somehow he is George. Then I wrote, close enough. Because what really happens? Neil and George have made this entire like fucking strangers on a train plan to kill

the annoying person in someone else's life. With Carol gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. George is the only heir. Yes. And with Julie gone, question mark? Neil can pay off his debts. He gets life insurance money and can pay off his debts. Well, most life insurance policies

have a two-year suicide clause. So that if he just took, and they've only been married a year. So if he took that policy out within the last year and she committed suicide, he wouldn't get anything anyway. And you would think a fucking ambassador would know that. God bless you. What you know about Italian insurance policies. Great question. Nothing.

So they're driving off together. There's one of them says to the other, the best time to get rid of someone is when there's a homicidal maniac on the loose. Which is true. It's true. It's very good. I have a note that says new glove car dance. Yeah. He says he burned all his clothes, except for these black gloves. And he's like, Oh, you've got to get rid of those. And he goes, why? They are nearly new. And they both go, ah,

and start swerving in the car. Who do they see on the side of the road? Julie. We see Julie on the side of the road. George doesn't see it, but Neil does. And Neil's like, Hey, turn around. I think that's Julie. And when he turns around, it's the fucking cops coming and Julie's standing there and they arrest him. Yeah, they were tricked.

It turns out that she has double whammied them because the doctor did save her life. They're a couple now. Yes, she's with the doctor now. Maybe he, maybe Dr. Arby's likes mean sex. Katie, I have to tell you something. And that's the end of the movie. Well, no, someone drives over a cliff into the water. Don't they? Don't they both drive over the cliff?

Oh yeah, George. That's why everyone says, whoops. George and Neil drive into, they're trying to get away from the cops. And they drive into a river and it like tumbles a hundred times and completely explodes. Oh, it's so good. They caught it because of the difference in technique of the killing of Carol. What is, what does Dr. Arby's say to her? Do you remember? He says, the best medicine is time. I thought, fuck no, it's penicillin.

Listen, I come from a long line of just wait and probably it'll get better. So the best medicine is time. I have to tell you something. Tell me something. Last 10 minutes of this movie, save this fucking movie for me. Holy shit, I, for, cause you texted me today

and you were like, yeah, with the bananas twist. And I was like, wait, what's the twist? And then I went back and looked at my notes and I was like, wait, what's the twist? And then I went back and looked at my notes and I was like, I love this movie! I'm giving it a nine. Because it's my birthday still, somehow. It is, it's so diallo. It's so fun.

It's so ridiculous. If you like 70s boobs. Look, if you don't like 70s boobs, get in touch. I need to hear your story too. I have a lot of stories I need to hear this week. I'll give this movie a solid seven. It's just as dumb as any of the other Giallo movies I've seen. But without all the gore and the like maggots and shit. Oh yeah, I don't want maggots and Giallo movies. No, that's true, you're right.

But yeah, it's absurd. I was like, man, this movie sucks. In the last 10 minutes, I was like, this movie is amazing. Yeah, I love that she ends up with Dr. Harbys. Somehow that guy's gonna get up dead. There's no way he's living. No, no.

Dr. Harbys, oh my God. Well, we did it. Oh, to all the Patrons, because I've been having health stuff going on, I've not been very good at getting back to people with emails. Yeah. So, if you have joined up recently and I haven't emailed you,

shoot me an email, let me know and we'll, we'll get you a message and get all that stuff sent out. Also we're doing a different movie than you picked this month because fuck you. Also, I love you guys. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that, but we are doing a different movie this month. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. Katie's birthday. Well, here's the thing. Birthday privilege. I just wanted what I wanted for one goddamn minute of my life. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Birthday privilege. I just wanted what I wanted for one goddamn minute of my life. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. I put a post on Patreon and it says, if you haven't voted yet, Katie really wants to see Gone in 60 Seconds, so why don't y'all vote for this? And more people still voted for a different movie. Are you bastards? You bastards! Why do people think that I don't deserve joy? Why do our listeners like me to be upset?

Because you being upset is hilarious and it brings them joy. What about my wellbeing? Yeah, they're paying for you to be hilarious. That's right, they are paying. Those people are paying. You people get it for free. So if you're a Patron, you should go check out

Gone in 60 Seconds, that should be up by now. That's what I wanted to watch. I did not want to watch death race 2000. Oh man. And I can't wait to talk about that movie with you. We're recording that next. Yeah, let's do it right now. So yeah. Thank you to all of our Patrons. Thank you to all of the listeners.

Thank you to everyone out there. Please, please, please practice empathy with each other and kindness. Yeah. Punch Nazis though. Punch Nazis. Oh yeah. No, no, like not, not yet. Please, please practice empathy with each other and kindness and. Punch Nazis though. Punch Nazis. Oh yeah, no, no, like not. We're not suggesting you get along with them.

You never have to be tolerant of intolerance. That is, I'm getting that tattooed on me. Actually, I'm just gonna get the coexist bumper sticker. Go on. And also if your body is telling you something, go to the fucking hospital. Please do. Yeah.

And if your best friend is telling you something, you go to the fucking hospital. Please do. Yeah. And if your best friend is telling you something, you listen to them as well. Please do. So I love you all. I love you all as well. I love you Sergio, for this fucking movie. Te amo Sergio. And thanks for listening to another episode

of Werewolf Ambient. Should we tell them we're doing a movie next week? Wow, you're getting the fuck out of here. Next week we're doing a movie of Alan's choice, it's Death Becomes Her. Okay, now you can end it. Fuck is wrong with me. I had a week y'all. Look, it's over now. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye.

Bye. Empty. Good job. Thank you. Thank you. Maybe accent on Deadpool's, so maybe signings at the pool Nowhere to end Finland's cute, heartfelt reviews Killer plans and land the face, killing him in outer space Appearance I've passed the encase, please make eye-catching your grave EMT

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