Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 510- Death Becomes Her (1992)

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

We're here! We're alive! We're (mostly) thriving! In this week's episode, we're discussing the 1992 black comedy "Death Becomes Her." Special topics for your consideration include: some *light* objectifying, George Michael impersonators, a real lack of liver spots, flaccid clowns, and a celebration of fantastic women. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. If you get in now, you can vote for this month's movie! Choices are between a bunch of Denzel Washington films and "Crank 2," because reasons. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

I'm alive. I'm alive. I'm alive. Four run arounds with COVID. Here we go. Maybe number five will take me out. Please. No, no. COVID I will fight you in the fucking face. No, it's fine. I'm ready to go. Like, here's a hot tip. Don't get COVID and RSV at the same time. Just don't. Like if you, someone offers you this saying no, thank you. I will not have, I will not lick that Petri dish. Hot tip, also don't listen to SRV. You don't need to listen to Stevie Ray Vaughan, you're fine.

Stevie Ray Vaughan? Yeah. Whale. He can whale but. Stevie Ray Vaughan's still alive? Fuck no. Yeah but then he could whale. You know his brother was the Fabulous Thunderbirds,

a band I reference at least once a week. You should not because no one knows. Rap, rap, rap, rap it up. I do know them. Wow. That's a fantastic fact that I already forgot. I'm so sorry. Did you briefly feel like you were at a rib fest somewhere?

I really did. I just wanted the tangy smoky taste of barbecue. You can't get that this week, Katie, because we're not doing a barbecue based horror movie. I've got to be barbecue based on, I guess Texas Chainsaw sort of a barbecue based horror movie. Chili cook off in the second one. Yeah. Oh yeah. Such a good movie. Oh my God. Okay. That's a movie I should revisit because I gave it a really bad review. But I feel like now I would probably love it. Yeah, New Katie.

It was too early. New Katie would love it. It's post antidepressant Katie. Ah, I feel like I need to get you back on the a la Carta tip as well. Okay, maybe we should do some revisits. People loved when we revisited Night of the Living Dead. Return of the Living Dead.

Return of the Living Dead, yeah. Oh, but what movie of my choosing are we doing this week? We're doing the 1992 Meryl Streep Goldie Hawn Bruce Willis film. Yeah. Death Becomes Her. Yeah. You saw this movie a lot, I assume. Fucking never saw this movie a day in my life.

Really, I saw this movie a couple times as a child. Should not have. No. No. 100%. Although, it's fine for a child. I mean, it's fine. Yeah.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine for a child. OK, I'm going to come out here on a limb. I loved this movie. I didn't hate it. My partner sternly disagreed with that. I feel like as he spit on the floor

as we were walking up here to record, what was that about? She gave it the evil eye, she on the floor. She gotta quit hawk-toon everywhere. I told you that I've really been annoying her by saying hawk-toon that thing about everything. Hey, could you hawk- it, that thing over to me? You mean like hand me the can opener?

Yeah. Oh, you're a monster. Also, very late on the joke. That's why it's great. That is why it's great. Doing jokes on time, nah. Start working on your Bill Clinton impression now. Do you have a Bill Clinton?

I did not have sexual relations with that woman. That's just you. Very good. Oh, this movie. This movie. It opens with Madeline Ashton in Songbird. It's Meryl Streep. Meryl fucking Streep. She's a goddamn delight. A movie that is making me presuppose that at some point Meryl Streep. Meryl fucking Streep. She's a goddamn delight.

A movie that is making me pre-suppose that at some point Meryl Streep will be unattractive to someone. Right. Right. Yeah. It's, it's, it's insulting. Yeah. She's like 41 in this movie. She's 43. Yeah. But you know what? She's got wrinkles. Did she or were they, I think they were artificial wrinkles in the beginning. I, well, I don't know about the beginning, but I think there are points at which they have just harsh lights on her real face. I could be wrong. There's a lot of, this is a lot of baby CGI too.

But it's 40. I mean, who doesn't? I mean, she didn't have liver spots. I could gargle. No, when they showed their hands, I was like, how fucking dare you? I like looked at my own and then I was like, no, no, they're pretty, they look pretty much the same. Yeah, a little more papery on this side, but you know. Just the one? No, no, no, this side of the room. This side of the room.

I thought you meant just one of your hands was more papery. A lot of people don't realize that when we record, we have a very demarcated sides of the room that we each sit upon. Yeah, we got into a fight about it sometime back and so we put tape down the middle of the room. Put tape down, we're just not allowed to sing.

We share an apartment. Yeah, oh yeah, I live here. My whole family lives here. You might remember our sitcom, Two's Company. Yeah, so she's singing on Broadway and I have a note that just goes, ugh, musicals. Yeah, musicals. It's a very funny fake musical, though.

I think it might be a reference to the Tennessee Williams play, fuck, what's it called? It's a bird, Sweet Bird of Youth. Oh, wow. Which is about like an actress past her prime, basically. But you would certainly, it's very, you wouldn't turn it into a musical. And I thought that was a very clever reference because what the fuck nods at

Tennessee Williams these days or those days or any days. I do enjoy a Tennessee Williams play. Me too. Well sad. Oh, God damn it. It's right in the feels. If you're looking for something to watch on the TV, you can't go wrong with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I have never read nor seen that. If you're looking for something to watch on the TV, you can't go wrong with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

I have never read nor seen that. Young Paul Newman and young Elizabeth Taylor, you fucking kidding me right now? Is that a musical? No, no, no, no, no. I think I'm thinking of Fiddler on the Roof. You were thinking of Fiddler on the Roof. Yeah, that's not the same.

All right, someone needs to now do a Yiddish version of Cat Anot tin room. Wow. I like that a lot. You know what else I like a lot? Goldie Hawn. I mean, come on. Fine comedic actress.

Fucking impeccable comedic timing. Sexual awakening for a lot of us. Yeah. Like just a fucking gorgeous lady. She's 47 I think in this movie? Come the fuck on. Her and Laugh-In, are you fucking, and like her comedic timing and Laugh-In

when she's like 20 is unreal. Yeah, she was born to do it. Love that Goldie Hawn. Just like your daughter. That's Kate Hudson, who's now most famous for being like the leggings lady, right? I don't know. She was like a line of athletic wear.

I think it's called Fabletics. I'm going to just go out on a limb and say it's Fabletics. I thought she was still riding high on being an almost famous. Oh, yeah. I liked that movie at the time. I feel now it's probably real bad. Yeah. Yeah. We were watched singles recently. It's fucking abysmal. I bet. And then I was like, Oh wait, I hated this when it came out.

I don't recall liking it. It's real boring. Get a life. So we get, we get Bruce Willis and Goldie Hawn in the audience. Henry and Ernest. I'm sorry. Bruce Willis looks great. He does. I have a hard take on this. I feel like they wanted Rick Moranis.

Rick Moranis said no, and they're like, Bruce Willis, do Rick Moranis. That's very much it. This is a real Ghostbusters, I one-new-drug situation here. Yes, they showed him Ghostbusters 1, where that scene where he's like, who does your taxes? And he was like, I can do this.

I can do this, I can do this. And I think he does a fine job. He does a fine, yeah. I like to see Bruce Willis do a comedy. It's not quite right, you know? It's never quite right. That's how he got his start, though. Moonlighting was a comedy.

Oh, yeah, right. Him and Sibyl Shepherd, who wrote a autobiography called Sibyl Disobedience. Fuck, dude, I wish I had a name that was a pun. You can't do anything with KD. KD's nuts. Done, done and dusted. Actually, yeah.

Copyright, copyright, copyright. The thing that my name rhymes with is gallon. A gallon of Allen. Oh, come on down to the Allen show. Everyone misuses raw dog, so I was like, I could just use hoctua for everything. I think you're right. Yeah, raw dog means one thing. One very specific thing.

Not putting sugar in your coffee. No, it means taking a flight and not having a book or your phone. So dumb, that's so dumb. Oh my God, you should be so proud of me. I had time with my mind. I actually hate that. So everyone's walking out on this musical.

It's a shit musical. They're all complaining about how bad it is, which I love. But Bruce Willis fucking loves it. He's horned up for this lady. Staring deeply at Madeline Ashton, which is Meryl Streep. Something I never realized. Meryl Streep has great tits. Yeah.

Sure does. Sure does. They're going to get shown up later in this movie, but still, great tits. I mean, Isabella Rossellini. Oh, come on, come with it now. Jesus fuck. Let's objectify. 71 years old.

She's the youngest of the three in this, yeah, okay. But not by much. No, no, she's like 40 in this movie. I don't look like that. My. I don't look like that. My tits don't look like that. I'm not Isabella Rossellini. Again, we go back to the thing of like, she drew a really good hand from the gene.

Oh yeah, you've seen my parents. Oh, I'm lucky I got this. I look almost exactly like my father. I'm lucky I got this. I look almost exactly like my father. So they go meet up with her backstage. It turns out that Helen and, uh, Mad are old friends. Frenemies really.

Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, immediately she's, uh, uh, uh, Madison, Madeline starts stealing, uh, Bruce Willis away from her, because that's what women be doing. Women be doing because he's a plastic surgeon. She wants to look younger and she sort of leans into him and says, do you think I'm starting to need you? Yeah.

Which is insane. Yeah. I love that. We learned that Goldie Hawn,, Helen has lost men to Madeline before many boyfriends to her. She needed to make sure that her fiance, Bruce Willis, Ernest, who always goes first late and first name last name Ernest Mel Menville or something. Uh, he had to pass the Madeline Ashton test. Yeah, he does not. He does not know. He says, I have absolutely no interest in Madeleine Ashton. And then it cuts to like,

marrying Madeleine Ashton. And I was like, fucking Roberts and Maccas. Nailed that one. Well done. Watch a movie that was like digging hard at Robert's and Maccas. And we couldn't figure out why. I can't remember either. I'm just being like, who hates Robert Zemeckis? Maybe Missy after this movie. Well, she can be wrong all she wants.

I loved this fever dream of garbage. So Goldie Hawn gets left behind. Yeah. She goes to the wedding though. She goes to the wedding though. She goes to the wedding. Baby stay home. And bloodies her hands with her nails squeezing her fist so tight.

Yeah. We get some like kind of fucked up fat phobia that comes in here. Yeah, we get a seven year jump cut. She's wearing a fat suit with a bunch of cats. And just eating icing. Out of the can with her fingers. The only part about this that I'm okay with

is that she looks like she's having a blast and I can't be mad at that. She's having a hoot of a time. And she's just watching a movie where Madeline dies over and over and over. Yeah, just rewinding that scene. Yeah, but it was like, come on man, we eat more than icing.

I'm a fat, we eat more than icing. We. I'm a fat, we eat more than icing. Don't do this. She's being evicted from her apartment by 17 NYPD officers. She doesn't give a shit because she's watching this movie. With food on her face. With food on her face. You just know the apartment smells like cat pee.

Yeah. Well, there's a lot of cats in a small space. Dude, when she goes to get another can of icing, and she opens the cabinet, and there's already a cat in there, I blurt laughed. I did too. I was like, that's funny. That's good.

That's good. They were like, do this quick. We got to get mittens out of there. Free heats on the icing. I just love her, though. So she's been hospitalized. We get a close up on her, her big old butt cheek on a chair, which I thought was a bit gauche.

Yeah. And then the, her group is pissed because she won't stop talking about Madeline. Right. They say the facilitator says something to her, like, is there anything you'd like to talk about? And she says, I'd like to talk about Madeline Ashton. And they all scream and cover their ears. I think she should probably be removed from group therapy. The doctor just like lays it to her and it's like, you gotta get over this. She says you are six months of therapy and you're not a single pound lighter.

I didn't realize that's why I went. Me neither. Me neither. Oh, you don't do treadmill therapy? Oh, God. It's actually just my therapist berating me for the way I look. It's going really well. Oh, no.

He's like, come on, junkie. Sit it down. Just hot yoga. Oh, God. I tried that once, one time. Worst smelling room. It was worse than a show at the original Mr. Roboto project. Just an exercise regimen known for flatulence.

Yeah, in a like 102 degree room. Don't do that. Packed with people who think natural deodorant works. Na dog. I used a crystal this morning. Oh yeah? Got the stink off. Don't do that. Packed with people who think natural deodorant works. Nah, dawg. I used a crystal this morning. Oh, yeah? Got the stink off. You smell like a fucking Italian hokey.

Hokey, hokey. Hey, if you enjoy hot yoga, fuck us. Go do what you want. Oh my god, yeah, do whatever you want. Just because it's not for me. Yeah, just because we shit talk things. We enjoy shit talking things. That's all I have.

There's a delivery for Mr. and Mrs. Menville, Madeline Ashen. Oh right, because we skipped now seven years further ahead. We're now 14 years ahead from the original part of the movie. Yes. The delivery is like a sliced apple and some shit on a tray. What is this? I think the delivery was just the invitation, but then the,

the apple and shit on a tray. It was the assistant bringing up breakfast. I gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah. In this scene, I realized two things. Yeah. One, I wouldn't mind being married to a plastic surgeon. Okay. Yeah. I could get some shit done.

I could get some shit done for free. Yeah. Yeah. I would be happy. Yeah. I'd be happy to do that. Can they fix toes? Come on, get down there. See my weird toes. No, I thought that's what was the draw of your only fans. Can you call it lonely fans? We already did that one.

Yeah, okay, great. Lonely fans. And also I really need a housekeeper. Oh God, yeah. Someone just bring me a Bloody Mary when I wake up. Yeah. Yeah. Someone just bring me a bloody Mary when I wake up. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, I was just thinking about all the dust. All the dust. I hate dusting and blood bloody Marys and bloody Marys. I'm off the sauce. So maybe I'll take apple juice every fucking morning.

If someone just bring me some tomato juice. Yeah. Bloody Mary with apple juice. It's made with a Worcestershire sauce and hair. Just a dash of oyster sauce for that little umami. So yeah, Bruce Willis is a flagrant alcoholic. He's lying on the floor wearing a suit. He's wearing the same suit the entire movie, I think, which I liked a lot. And he's like, all of his colors are washed out. Yeah. It's been 14 years. It's I'm sure it's the same suit he wore to the, to the musical. Um,

the invitation, the aforementioned invitation is a, uh, to Helen Sharpe's book party. Her book is called forever young to which Meryl Streep yells and eternally fat. I didn't mind her fat shaving. Cause I know that she's an asshole. She's meant to be. And Bruce Willis and the housekeeper slash personal assistant only refer to Madeline as it. That's right. He says, is it up? And she says, it's in the tub.

But then she also calls him a ghoul. So, you know, teach their own. So he gets a call because he is now a mortician. A mortician who does like the beauty part. Yeah. A beautician, mortician. The Jamie Lee Curtis character in My Girl. I know we have a few morticians that listen. So, uh, if you're a mutician,

putition getting done, we start a band called mortician, beautician probably, probably. Right. What's that? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. One of us dressed like a mortician. One of us dressed like a beautician. Which is which? Exactly. Great. Just white coats all around. Oh yeah, I love that.

Wait, does the person who cuts your hair have a white coat on? No, I cut my own hair. I've not paid for a haircut in 30 years. Good for you, it's always sharp. Oh, thanks. Yeah, you do a nice job. You do a nice job because it's not just like buzzed, you cut it. Oh yeah.

You know what you're doing. I'm gonna work a pair of clippers. All right. Get me a pair of clippers. Yeah, that's what you gotta do. Anyway, I'm gonna work a pair of clippers. Eh, all right. I'm gonna work a pair of clippers. Eh, you gotta do. Anyway, he gets a call because this actor

has drowned in his hot tub. Look at that. He was fucking an 18 year old Cuban girl. Why so specific? Because Robert Zemeckis. Maybe that's why somebody hates him. Maybe, maybe. This guy's died smiling and it's very goofy.

It's extremely funny. Yeah. And Meryl Streep goes in because she's got a big, she's going to the book reading or whatever tonight. She has to go and get a beauty treatment done. So she wants plasma replacement or something. Yeah, but you can only do it every few months. And she had it a few weeks ago. Yeah.

And the woman says to just put on some makeup. She says, makeup is pointless. It doesn't do anything anymore. Which as a 41 year old, I thought was very funny. And this woman at work is also boobs to the wind. Yeah, she says something like, you're just standing there with your 22 year old tits, your great skin and your 22 year old tits.

I was like, yeah, she does great skin and tits. Who does it these days? I mean, it's the, it's the name of the game. Yeah. It's what you got to do to get by. It's what you got to do to get by in this world. So, uh, shagal has been there the whole time, hiding in the background. Has he or has he appeared? I think he might be magic.

He's so twitchy. His one eye just keeps closing involuntarily. But then when we see him later in the movie, I don't think it's happening. No. Okay, did he just give up on that bit? Okay. They forgot.

They forgot. So he gives her a card for a woman who might be able to help her predicament. What is it? Uh, Licelle something. Von Ruhman. Von Ruhman. I hope it'll be Isabella Rossellini wearing jewels instead of a shirt. Instead of a shirt. What are you, Madonna or Shakira? She looks fantastic. No one is unassailable. Yeah. Yeah. She's also, I was like, uh, we may see her cooch at some point during this movie because of like,

it's close to being out the entire time. Yeah. God bless her. God love her. So we go to the party for Helen, the book reading, whatever it is. There's a great scene where they're riding there in the back of a chauffeured car and they're both sitting as far from each other as they can looking out opposite windows. And she goes, could you just not breathe? I like that quite a bit. from each other as they can looking out opposite windows. And she goes, could you just not breathe? I like that quite a bit.

So they see this heavyset woman at the book reading. No, first they see the mom from Monster Squad. Oh yes, that's who that fucking was. That's the mom from Monster Squad. Holy shit. That's all I wanted to say. This scene means nothing, I just wanted to tell you. Yeah, where do I know her from? Yeah.

Oh, well this is where we find out that Bruce Willis, to make the corpses look good, uses spray paint. Right, that's right. And he's telling her that he did this to her aunt. Yeah. I like that she recognized him as the person who did her aunt's. Okay.

Oh yeah, I know all my Martitians. But anyway, I think the Monford Monster Squad was married to Zemeckis at this point. Just just a little just a little fact. A little bit of trivia. Yeah. Did you do some reading? Um, I also was like, where the fuck do I know that lady from? Yeah, it's the mom for monster squad.

Monster squad. We should just do that again. We should revisit that even though we just will say the same things again. Be a good movie to get a name for your podcast from. It sure would. Did it. Wish we had. But you're right.

They see a heavyset woman at the reading. And then Meryl Streep's like, oh, look at her. She's still fat. And then that woman steps to the side. And it's fucking hottest how Goldie Hawn. Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen her as a redhead before. She looks great.

It's like a strawberry blonde. Yeah. Yeah She looks great. It's like a strawberry blonde. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks great. She says to Madeline, I was worried you wouldn't come, but my publicist said that Madeline Ashen goes to the opening of an envelope. So I fired her. Well, I almost fired her.

And I love this. I love this for her. You love Petty. You love just going in Petty. I love Goldie Hawn and I love Petty and this whole thing is perfect. And I love people getting their fucking You love Petty. You love just going in Petty. I love Goldie Hawn and I love Petty. And I, this whole thing is perfect. And I love people getting their fucking comeuppance. Sure.

Yeah. So she leans into, she starts talking to Madeline and she's like, I just want you to know, I never blamed you. Yeah. This is not your fault. It's all on him. Goes over to director Ernest.

I just want to let you know, I never blamed you. This is all, she's playing both sides. She says, she's a woman from Newark for God's sakes. And I thought Newark or Newark? She's from New Jersey. Yeah, you're right. She's not from the Cruark, Helloare. Wow.

I didn't make it up. No, I wouldn't imagine you did. Also Kilmington, Helloare was a thing as well. Kilmington, Helloare. Holy ghost. It's not far off from the truth. Does that make me a Helloarian? Yeah.

It doesn't sound as good. No, Delaware. Oh, there it is. It's a poem. It's a fucking poem. Love that word. Meryl Streep runs off to see Dakota, her fuck boy. Jesus Christ. He's already fucking somebody else. He says, this is perfectly innocent. And then there's a shot of a woman and just ass in a full length mirror. Like a six pack of beer. Yeah, I love it. This scene ends with him yelling for her to go find someone your own age. He says to her, like,

people say we look ridiculous together. And I thought, where are the two of you going? Where are you taking one another? To the arcade? He's 12. He takes them out for ice cream. Yeah. He's been good.

Aw, he did a good job. Yeah. So she leaves, she's crying. She's been good. Aw, he did a good job. So she leaves, she's crying, she's driving like a maniac, she's driving and crying. Driving and crying, like you do. Sure. Whom amongst us? Who amongst us? And she finds the card in her bag that she had ripped up earlier for Liesel.

Right. And so she's like, I'm going to go there. Because the guy earlier was like, yeah, you can go there anytime and day or night. She's fine with it. That's very strange. Very strange. Um, another very strange thing is that we just get a quick scene of Goldie Hawn spraying air into her eyes to make herself cry. I guess. I guess it's very weird. It's very weird. And then she's in like, in the, they pan out from the mirror she's sitting in front of and it's just covered with pictures of Madeline with pins stuck in them

and like never again scrawled in lipstick above it. Yeah, she's off her rocker. Yeah. I love this for her. I wish she'd gone even further off her rocker. This would be my main complaint with this movie is that it doesn't go far enough in any of the directions it seems to want to go in. I agree with that.

Like it's like, oh, I'm being like social satire. I'm not going to go that far with it. the directions it seems to want to go in. I agree with that. Like it's, it's like, Oh, I'm being like social satire. I'm not going to go that far with it. Yeah. It's only going to go here. Yeah. The door to this castle. Yeah. LA Castle. LA Castle is opened by a George Michael impersonator. I just refer to him as a beefcake. Oh, he is a beefcake. And then when we get into the like antechamber, we see there's another beefcake and it's American gladiator nitro.

Oh, there's another famous beefcake later on in this. Was that Fabio? I thought it was, he doesn't have any lines? No. No. This was when Fabio still was just like, that guy that's hot. Right, right, it was 1992. Remember when he was riding a roller coaster, got hit in the face with a bird?

I mean, that's really awful. I feel sorry for him. That's a terrible thing to have happen to you. Fabio doesn't deserve that. It's also real funny. It's real funny. Are you gonna look it up right now? No, I was just gonna look up

and whether I can still like Fabio or whether he got me to. In a 2024 interview with Bill Maher, Fabio said he rarely returns to his country of birth and described Italy as quote, a shit hole. In 2021, he said he was retired and hoping to marry and have children. He also sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber

because he believes it reverses aging. Someone with a beautiful soul, great sense of humor. I want a woman that can do sports and be a little bit tomboy. Fabio, you're 65 years old. You don't need to father children now. That thing still work, buddy. I'm sure it does. Okay, let's move on. So who is Licelle? It's Isabelle, the aforementioned Isabella Rossellini. And what is she wearing? She's wearing like a towel around her waist

and a necklace that's taped to her boobies. Yeah, a really widespread necklace. Yeah. Or a really terrible shirt. I mean, if you're in the mood for side boob, this movie has it in spate. She looks great. Oh my God. She's so beautiful.

Yeah. Yeah. Like otherworldly. Yeah, stupid. Oh my God. She's so beautiful. Yeah. Like otherworldly. Yeah, stupid. It's fucking dumb how beautiful she is. She's so fucking sick of people being more attractive than me. I don't know if she is. I have a note that says Isabella Rossellini. Hubba hubba.

Hubba hubba, indeed. Meanwhile. And she's a great actor. Oh, she's fantastic. Yeah, which is wild. Yeah. Uh, meanwhile, Goldie Hawn is over at, uh, Bruce Willis' house. Just saying the word sex over and over to him.

It's doing it for him. It's doing it for him. I think everything does it for him. Sure. Yeah. Everything that isn't his current wife. Yeah. So, Lazella has this special box.

I love this little occult setup to store her magic potion. It's very good. And magnets. Yeah, and strings and shit. It's cute. It's cute. And within the box is another box. I love boxes and boxes.

Yep. And this box contains a vial of pink liquid. Right. That is a tincture, a tonic, if you will. A potion. A potion. A potion. She writes down on a piece of paper how much this is going to cost. Yeah. And Meryl Streep tries to leave. Yeah. Yeah. So Isabella Rossellini grabs her hand and just cuts it and just fucking cuts it with a knife, a little ornamental dagger that was tucked in her towel. Yeah.

Did that thing have pockets? That's so wrong. You know it did. She's not going to walk around without pockets. I guess not. I mean when you're in your own house. Yeah. Yeah. She had to put her cigarette somewhere though. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Everybody looks so much older back then they all smoked. Or they were just around smoke. I think that's part of it. Yeah. I mean, you know, people in your life that have smoked for a long time and like Look older then yeah, you're probably right. Yeah. Yeah, I mean look at me. I smoked for 12 years

And you look 50. Oh, that's right Bout to be 51 Like it when you're 10 years older than me instead of nine There's this brief window where we're closer. We could have been friends. We used to have a bit about 19 year old you being friends with nine year old me. That was a fun bit. We should bring that back.

Things we would do together movies, you know, the arcade perhaps, wherever you take Dakota. Oh, that's wonderful. Um, we find out that Lazel is 71. Wait, so wait, she, she dips the knife in the potion and then sticks it back in the cut. And then her hand heels, liver spots go away and then she looks at the back of it and it, it looks like she's dipped it in mud. It looks like George Burns's hand. Yes. And now it looks like her regular hand.

Come on. What age do you think people get liver spots? It's a mecus. Oh my god. So she says, I'm 71. And Madeline's like, Oh fuck, I'm going to do this then. But let's and she's, um, uh, Oh, and she's like, yeah, you can do it,

but you have to stop acting after 10 years, fake your own death and go into hiding. Yeah. Disappear from public view forever. Yeah. 10 years is not that long of a time. No. But you're going to live forever, sort of. But what are you going to do for the rest of it? I guess hang out with all the other people who have

disappeared from public view forever. Think about how many books there are to read. Yeah. I can't actually do that. It gives me anxiety. Yeah. I'll never be able to read them all. No, you won't. You gotta let that one go.

So Madeline drinks it. And she's drinking and she's like, and there's a warning. Now a warning? Meryl Streep is also very funny in this. Meryl Streep, Isabella Rossellini, Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, all doing fucking bang up jobs in this movie. I'm enjoying it a lot. She says you and your body are going to be together a long time. Yeah. So take care of it. She's walking out of the house. She gets to a mirror. She looks in the mirror. Wait, so she puts a little gold pin on her.

She put a little gold pin. And then I thought, what does that signify? Who can say? Okay. It's never explained. No. Only to be recognized later. Yeah, I guess, because you could take it off. Sure? Who can say? Okay. It's never explained. No. Only to be recognized later.

Yeah, I guess, because you could take it off. Sure. Or can you? I don't know. So she goes to look in the mirror and as she's standing in front of the mirror, what happens to her butt? Her butt gets like lifted and perkier. Her tits pull into the center a bit more.

It's very funny. And honestly, it looks pretty good. As far as like CGI goes. Yeah, for sure. For sure. There's a yeah, I mean for the time the CGI and this is great. It's fantastic. Yeah. Do you know what?

Do you remember what she says when all of this happens? No. She goes, I'm a girl. Let's go be girls. Let's go be girls. Let's go be girls. Let's go be girls. Meanwhile, Helen and Ernest have been cooking up this elaborate plan. Divorce in California?

That is such a late 80s, early 90s joke. It must be. I'm six, so I don't get it. The woman will get everything. Oh, gotcha. And they've cooked up this plan that is insanely a labyrinth made by a crazy woman. Yes. Who's just like, all right, we're going to get these glasses. We're going to put this numbing agent on all of these. Narcanol. Narcanol. Is Narcanol a real thing? I don't know. Now look it up while you talk. And you're gonna have to, I don't even remember all the fucking steps to this plan.

It's not real. Basically it ends with Madeline going over a cliff in a car. Oh that's right. Drunk. And there's this great funny shot of like, Bruce Willis on a 1992 cell phone. And then when it cuts back to him, he's like talking to Helen in his house. And there's just like the flames reflected in his glasses.

And it's so fucking funny. Oh my God. So he realizes that like killing her is basically self-defense because she's killing him. He doesn't realize this. Helen plants this in him because he's very stupid. That's how men be realizing stuff. Yeah, that's, I mean, that isn't that how men

be realizing stuff? I think so. Yeah. And then we will repeat it back to you as if it was our own idea. Just like how I did the lonely fan thing. Aye, aye, aye. So Madeline comes home. They get into a big fight.

She puts on a cat suit. Looks amazing. She looks great in a cat suit. She puts on a cat suit and like a sheer pink top. And I was like, that is a fucking power look. It is a look. Yeah. It's like a shawl, a pink shawl. Yeah. Yeah.

It looks wild. But belted. Yes, belted. Yeah. Yeah. He yells at her, your face owed me. What does she call him repeatedly? Flaccid.

And calls him a flaccid clown. Yeah. That's a great insult. But he just keeps saying to her, you're a broad. You're a broad now. And I thought, what does broad actually mean? I just thought it was, you know, like broad, dame, skirt, you know?

Like none of those are, they're stupid, but they're not like terribly insulting. I think it's just supposed to mean he's an idiot. Like you can't think of a good insult because she is decimating him with flaccid over and over again. Flaccid clown. You limp dick loser. Yeah. Limp dick loser. What's that from?

What's a limp dick loser? Is it from the state or upright citizens brigade? One of those. Where someone keeps getting a fortune cookie that tells them they're limp dick loser. That's right. Because they're reading the fortune cookies in bed. Yeah. Oh, right. elliptic loser. That's right. Because they're reading the fortune cookies in bed. Yeah, oh right. Your elliptic loser.

In bed. And then he gets one that's just a thumbs down and it has a line so you know which way the thumb goes. Ha ha ha ha ha! God, I miss that sketch comedy. So they get into kind of a shoving match and she ends up in the most ridiculous she should have fallen five minutes ago,

stance on the steps where she's in high heels and just her toes are balanced, but she's at like a 45 degree angle from the stairs. And she keeps being like, help me, hurry up, help me. He doesn't though. He pushes her with like one finger. So he murders his wife. Her like broken sprawl body at the bottom of the stairs looks fantastic. It's really fun.

Murdering your wife is really fun. So he makes a phone call, not to the police. To Helen. She's like, you fucking idiot. She's like, call the police and tell them you were on the phone with me when she fell. And while this phone call is happening. She's moving around in the background.

Yeah. This is so good. So good. She's back on her feet. She's back on her feet. But how's her neck doing? Her head is fully backwards. Fully backwards.

She goes, Ernest, you pushed me down the stairs. And then she says, I can see my ass. That's a good fit. I love how she's holding her arms in this scene. Just like, I don't know. She goes to sit down, but because her head's on backwards, she just falls to the floor. They take her to the hospital. She wrenches it back around. Or he, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very good. Yeah.

And then she has just kind of like flappy neck skin around it. Yeah, they go to La Hospitale Beverly Hills. And the doctor tells her, or no, he tells her that she thinks she has a dislocated neck and he goes, that can happen. The doctor is Sidney Pollock. Sidney Pollock. Yeah, he was in this for one scene and one scene only. The doctor finds out she has no heart pain.

Right. When he sees her neck, he jumps back and goes, ah, which is the last thing you want a doctor to do. She is at room temperature. Yeah. She's dead. And I'm like, this is giving return to the living dead vibes right now.

So the doctor is freaked out and he's like, I need a second opinion. This hospital looks ridiculous. It's like wallpapered and big Palm leaves. Tell me. So is it, Ernest goes out to find another doctor because she passes out. He realizes that she's dead. He tells her and she faints.

Yeah. So he goes to find a doctor and sees her doctor has died in his flat. Why though? Why did Sydney die? Okay. When he goes back into her room, there's just like a very, a nurse who looks like her upper lip fucking smells. You know what I mean?

She was in Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. She's like the other woman in town that's like in a rumbling match with her. In this, she just looks like she's sniffing her upper lip. Yeah, and I think that's why she got hired for that movie too. Gotcha. She says that the woman who was in this room has died

and been taken to the morgue. And Bruce Willis goes, the morgue, she'll be furious. She says to him, your wife's died, take some time. I was like, I don't know if that's what, hmm. Yeah. When he goes out to the morgue, for some reason three nuns float by him. Are they ghosts?

Oops, can say. Why does this happen? I don't know. Okay. Are they ghosts? Whoops can say. Why does this happen? I don't know. Okay. He goes to the morgue for some reason when he pulls her out of the morgue closet. Yeah, the morgue tray. It's like filled with dry ice.

I've never seen them smoking before. I thought that's how you keep them. On dry ice. Like a party favor. Exactly. I thought they were, that's how you keep them. Don't try it. It's like a party favor. Exactly. And he opens the bag she's in and she's like, I fainted and then I woke up and it was real dark.

Stupid. It's a miracle. Yeah. Yeah. And he's, he's very stoked. Meanwhile, Goldie Hawn is dressed like a generic action movie villain. I don't know why. She's sneaking into their house. Shewn is dressed like a generic action movie villain. I don't know why she's sneaking into their house. She had to put on a costume to do it,

but it's dark and she puts on very dark sunglasses. That's, that's at your own peril, man. And like a sequence top. He comes ripping in nearly runs her over. Yeah. Like she's fallen to the ground and he stops right by her head and I was like, oh my God, oh my God. So scary. And he, she follows him back to his job at the mortuary where he gets a bunch of formaldehyde to put in his wife, I guess. He's embalming and painting his wife. Yeah. Yeah. And Goldie Hawn goes, it's alive. Which made me laugh.

I wonder what they were referencing. Oh my God. So she shows up with a shovel and a tarp to bury Madeline. Right. So they're going to bury her out in Death Valley. Yeah. And this is where I have the note. It feels like Bruce Willis is playing Rick Moranis.

I love that theory. And you're probably right. So then she finds out Madeline's alive. It's alive. Because yeah. And now Madeline gets a shotgun. Why did they have so many guns? They're guns in every room though.

They don't seem like gun people. I mean, you might have a gun or a handgun in the nightstand. There's a throwaway line where she mentions that he's a Republican. That's true. You know what they do to fat balding Republicans in prison. Yeah, in prison. I like that.

So Madeline shoots Helen. Right through the tum tum. Right through the tum tum. Right through the tum tum. And her rationale for doing this is, what are they gonna do? Are they gonna give me the gas chamber? He's like, what about life in prison? That would be really bad for someone in your condition.

But Helen has fallen into this little pool fountain, water feature outside. Yeah, and it's lighted so that it's filled with red light now from all her blood filling up the pool. It's very good It's very good. Do you know what they do to softballed overweight Republicans in prison Ernest? But now Goldie's back on her feet, yeah, she's got a big tummy hole though. Big tummy hole. Big tummy hole. Adorable. Yeah I wonder if Shaun of the Dead was referencing this when the woman falls on the of Shaun of the Dead was referencing this, when the woman falls on the,

and the woman that comes in their backyard, that's a zombie, and she falls on the umbrella stand. Yeah, the umbrella stand, yeah, yeah. And then she stands up and they can see through the hole in her tummy. I hope so, I wanna believe. So they end up in a shovel fight. She knocks Meryl Streep's head back,

and she goes, damn, I just fixed this. Love that. And there's just this whole gag about like a spear going through Goldie Hawn's stomach and then she sits down on the couch so that it goes through her again. I fucking loved that. That was so cool.

Very funny gag. Yeah. All the stuff, the very like Beetlejuice feeling things of like smushing her head down and kicking it back. That all was great. I really liked that a lot. And I didn't, we didn't mention it. Oh no, I did mention it.

Nevermind. God. Um, so they kind of have like a heart to heart once they've had a shovel fight. Yeah, they make up. Goldie Hawn always thought that Meryl Streep was cheap. So Meryl Streep took her boyfriends. Like you do. Sure. Like you do. Sure.

Like you do. Oh my God. So they realize that they're going to get messed up, so they need someone who's gonna be able to fix them. Right, oh because Goldie Hawn's skin starts peeling off. Yeah. Yeah. And I have so many questions because later we see other people that are in the same predicament

and they look fucking fine. They look fine. Fine. Fine. Uh, even Pittsburgh zone. Um, Andy Warhol. Oh, right. God, I don't claim Andy Warhol. He's not one of us because he rejected you. Yes. I agree. Yes. Pittsburgh celebrates anybody from here, regardless of whether or not they were like, it's actually a piece of shit there. And I hope I never ever go back. August Wilson also not a fan. August Wilson was not a fan of Pittsburgh. Yeah. Good thing most people from Pittsburgh are cool. Like Michael Keaton. Like a fucking Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum.

Wanted to say Seth Goldblum. That's not his name. That's weird that you couldn't come up with Jeff Goldblum. Mr. Rogers, D Sky? Yeah, who's mad at Mr. Rogers? Bruno St. Martino, King of Wrestling. Is he from Pittsburgh? He lived his whole adult life here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was a Pittsburgh by the time he died. Shorter, shorter. He's from Italy. I hope to get to that same... You're a Pittsburgher. Oh, I'm in. I can say it. 17 years in, baby.

I think that's a long time, baby. Yeah, fuck Andy Warhol, though. Fuck 18 years this year. Oh, wow. Your adult life. Get it? Because you're an adult. You get it.

It's legal now. What? I said it's legal now. It's legal now. It's a stretch. So you've always been the older Pittsburgher in this relationship. Yeah. I'm a little parochial like that. Anyway, they go back to Lee Sells.

Yeah, because they want to give him the potion to make him live forever so he can constantly fix them up. And this is when we see Fabio. Just as a background character does not. Yeah. Just wandering around back there. Yeah. Um, also Isabella Rossellini has, her nails are painted bright red, but her pinky nail is like four inches long. Is that a single Coke nail? That's for a Coke nail, baby. But it's like obscenely long. It's like a, it's a coke shovel. I should say you were very young during the hay day of the coke

nail. Yeah. That shit got long. Really? Yeah. Okay. Just want to do some dudes with very long pinky nails. All right. Fair enough. I was like, that is a, that's a dedication to snorting some toot. Gotta love that toot. Never've never done it. There's so many things you can scoop it with. It doesn't have to be your nail. Yeah, for sure. Just tap something on your knuckle. Get a key. Get a key.

There's a literal term. It sure is. Kabumps. Kabumps. Kabumps Hayes, the new Pittsburgh Pirates third baseman. That's a cute Brian Hayes joke for anyone who's listening. Who cares? Who cares?

Nobody, that's the joke. Speaking of jokes, there's a good one here of like the guy from the Skin Center, what is his name? Chagall? Chagall's doing a little speech to all these people who have had, have taken the potion. And there's hundreds of them. And he's like, I just want to remind you all

that you've agreed to disappear from the public eye. So those of you who show up from time to time after faking your own death, you got to stop doing that. And everybody looks at Elvis and he goes, I'm just trying to have a little fun, which I loved immensely. I love that he took the potion as Fat Elvis. Yeah. Yeah. And then he didn't get better.

Meryl Streep gets better. I thought for a moment that it would just stop you in your tracks and you're changing. Yeah. Yeah. No, you get better. So we saw Andy Warhol, uh, Marilyn Monroe. Oh, I didn't see Marilyn Monroe, but okay. Jameshol, Marilyn Monroe. Oh, I didn't see Marilyn Monroe, but okay. James Dean, I think. He steals James Dean's car. Jim Morrison is by the pool and Elvis,

but those are like, that's the extent of the famous people. I feel like Roberts and Meckes was like, I don't know any other dead famous people. This is it. No Janis Joplin, no Jimi Hendrix. No, they're really dead. No people of color in this room, by the way. It's white as hell in there. No people of color in this movie. In this movie. No, no. But so somehow they end up on the roof. Well, first is a little Rosalini has to show Bruce Willis, right? The potion.

So she cuts his finger and does the dip in again and his liver spots go away. He, why? Why? I keep looking at my hands. I just don't know about. I keep, yes, they look fine. And then I got some very close veins as I got older. My hands look like spiders. They're very spidery. My fingers are very long, but I can do about that. Fuck. Also, I have eight fingers on each hand. Only six of them are hers. He's not buying this. He's not buying this.

He's not taking this. He takes the potion, puts it in his pocket. Yeah. I don't know how they end up on the roof, but I just have a note that says looking like Luigi's haunted mansion up there. 100%. Proud of that one. They're like chasing him around.

Yeah. Trying to get him to take the potion. Yeah. And he ends up on the roof. Okay. And he's got the potion. Yeah, and he ends up on the roof. Okay. And he's got the potion in his pocket and... They start yelling at him and he gets scared and slips. Yeah, and he falls off and he's hanging by a gutter through his braces, the suspenders. Suspenders, yeah. Have got him up there.

And they're like, take the potion, you're going to fall. This is the only thing that will save your life. And he's like, fuck you. He makes the decision because living forever would be the true nightmare. He goes, I don't want to live forever. And I was like, dude, yes, that's fucking right. Can you imagine? Me? Hell yeah. I can't wait to die. I know I talk about this every time we talk about immortality, but I cannot wait to die. It will be such a relief.

Sweet darkness. Been really sick, guys. A couple of weeks ago, your boy thought he might be going down. I was like, I'm not ready for this yet. Really? Oh, yeah. OK, well, I'll put this away. I haven't had a brush.

So, um, he is, he falls from the gutter and you're like, Oh no, he's going to fall to his death, but he falls through a plate glass window of which is the same glass window of the creation of Adam into a swimming pool. And this is where we see Jim Morrison who says, are you done in there yet? Something stupid. He says, no, he says that was pretty neat. Fucking Jim Morrison. Yeah. I don't want him to live forever. No, I, you know, I'm not a big fan of the doors. No, no. But occasionally I will hear, come on, come on, come on. And I'm like,

ah, it's not so bad. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, ah, but. You know how I feel about it is the way you feel about the talking heads, where it's like, I will hear one door song and be happy. I hear three door songs.

I'm going to fucking shoot myself. Or them. Somebody. Somebody has to go. It's me or them. It just, it was everywhere when I was a kid. I just don't need it. That's fine. It's fine. So they have to get him back because they're peeling now. And, and I don't even know what the fuck is happening at this point. Like he's going to,

he's leaving them. Yeah. Basically. Um, And they're trying to like put something in his drink to knock him out so that they can make him drink the stuff. Right, right. And he's not. They give him like a full ass glass of whiskey. Yeah, it was like four tumbler sized tumbler. And he's like, I'm not doing that. And then.

He says, and I drink too much and dumps it into the plant. Yeah, yeah. So is this, they're like, they make a pact to paint each other's asses at this point. Yeah. They were like, who would have ever thought that it would be you and me forever stuck with each other. I'll paint your ass. You paint mine.

37 years later. 37 years later. They're at Ernest's funeral. Yeah. Oh God. He started living life after 50. Yeah. He met his lovely wife, Claire. They had a bunchest's funeral. Yeah. Oh God. He started living life after 50. Yeah. He met his lovely wife, Claire. They had a bunch of kids.

He's got grandkids. There's like a picture of him as an old man, which is really fucking funny. He looks like he's skiing. Oh God. He did a lot of good work. Yeah. He adopted like a hundred children from foreign countries.

I'm happy to hear that Ernest had a good life. And the, uh, it's going to call him a doctor, the priest, the God doctor, the God doctor is like, you could say he'll live forever because he'll live in the hearts of the people whom he touched and who he helped. And they start guffawing and then fighting with each other. They're both wearing morning veils too. So you can't see their faces, but you can tell that Meryl Streep's eyebrows are fucked.

So fucked. They go outside and lift their veils and they look like shit. They are peeling and crusty and ridiculous. Oh my God. But who was taking care of Marilyn Monroe? I mean, she'd been gone for like 50 years at this point. I'm not sure.

Like it seems like via Isabella Rossellini's advice, you just have to take care of your body. Are they just falling down a lot? Are they super clumsy? Because they fall down a flight of steps here. They do. Because for some reason Goldie Hawn's legs aren't working. We never told why, but she starts to fall and she's like, help me, my legs aren't working.

Why? She was walking all jimmy legged. Yeah, she was walking like she's God of a pony. So they fall down the stairs and they just break into like statue pieces. And this is the part of this movie that I remember most clearly is just like they're two talking heads at the bottom. Connie Haunt head spins into frame.

And then they're like, it's a living. She says, do you remember where you parked the car? That's the last line of the movie. My last note, goofy. Oh, my last note is Surf Ninjas? Because that's the movie Amazon thought I should watch after this. 100%.

Went right into Surf Ninjas. Oh, of course. What? Katie. Hello, this is Alan. Please give me a rating for this movie. I loved this movie. Okay.

I feel like it walked so that the substance could run. I was gonna ask you about that. Yeah, oh, I loved the substance. I thought this was, I agree it didn't go far enough. I would have liked more. Yeah. But it was PG-13, so I think that's why we have almost no gore.

Yeah. The only blood is when they prick their fingers, basically. Right. I think at one why we have like almost no gore. Yeah. There's the only blood is like when they prick their fingers, basically. And I think at one point he like waves during a surgery and has blood on his hand. Um, I wish it was rated R and they went full tilt with it. Sure. Yeah.

Like they could have picked a direction and headed wildly into that direction. But I enjoyed the hell out of this. I love seeing two great comedic actresses do a great comedic thing. I'm going to give this an eight. I know it's not a great movie, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. Nice. What about you? I'm going to give it a solid six.

Is a six that solid? I feel like you put solid in front of bad ratings to make the rating, to make the movie feel a little better about itself. In case Meryl Streep was listening. Oh, he said solid before six. She's she's she definitely reads her reviews, including this one. Well, yes, she has an assistant that will take this podcast out for you.

I subscribe to our podcast on Spotify so I can make sure that it posts correctly. Yeah, but it will Spotify keeps recommending it to me like you haven't listened. You need to listen, check it out. And when you get that, it'll show you like a transcript preview. And it's just, I don't know what we were talking about, but it was like, you could tell it was you talking. There's just me going, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I really have to stop doing that. And then it said dickhead giggles again. Stop giggling, Alan. Stop having fun.

We've gotten one of those in a while. No. That's good. I think we've shed most of those people. Fuck yens. After 500 and some episodes. If you haven't stopped yet. Oh, I'm still hate listening.

Your words aren't. I know. I mean, if you haven't stopped giggling yet, no one's words can stop you. Oh, sure, yeah. Oh yeah, I was thinking about just stopping having fun. I was just gonna give up. How about now?

Katie. Alan. We got a voicemail that I'd like to play for you. Hey, Alan and Katie. This is Jeff. Anyway, I was calling because I didn't realize that I didn't put my name on the DVD I sent you. Who's the Maki? Which is Japanese for Spiral. And the thing I love about that movie is that it's like early After Effects and so everything has that weird spiral effect that they have in after effects

And they use it like abundantly so It's truly amazing Yeah, good stuff Also, I said you because I was listening to an episode I don't know which one it was but you guys were talking about Garth Marengue and I didn't know that or I know but you didn't probably know that They have Marengue and I didn't know that or I know but you didn't probably know that they have or he has written two books since then so I said he's the first book and of course I'm probably the second one as well because they're both

amazing the audiobooks are better because he reads it like Garth Marengue and it's just stellar, duly stellar. Anyway, I guess I should get back to work doing the light stuff I do. Thank you for everything you do and I really appreciate it and you really entertain me throughout my really super boring day. Have a great one. Bye. Holy shit. How did I not know that there were Garth Marengue books? Yeah, if you open that package right there, there's a Garth Marengue book. Amazon.com. Oh my God, Garth Marengue's Terror Tome. Curl up with this book and die. curl up with this book and die. Thank you, Jeff.

Thank you for this. Thank you for the DVD of Uzumaki. Thank you so much. Thank you. And thanks for listening and being a friend and taking the time to call us. Jeff also sent us another voicemail. Oh, Jeff.

Oh my gosh. I almost forgot to tell you why I called. It was to tell you about the movie. But also, oh this is a joke by the way, my niece has worked for Guy Fieri for like five years and she says he is a complete trouble-loving tool. So you know take it like you want. I mean, just, I know when your heroes turn out to be awful. But anyway, I just wanted to tell you that because you guys are talking about Guy Fieri and I actually know something about a celebrity.

Rock on. All right, that's all. Thanks, bye. Okay, Jeff, I feel a little bit worse. Also, do you think he's our hero just because I'm Italian? Is it because we say Guy Fieri? Guy Fieri. Guy Fieri, all right, of course he's a Trump just because I'm Italian? Is it because we say gai fieri? Gai fieri. All right, of course he's a Trump loving tool.

Who wouldn't be? But he's also done really good things for people. Yeah. Like he paid for a lot of restaurant workers to eat during the pandemic. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah. I guess no one's all good or all bad except for Elon Musk.

All good. Yeah. Oh yeah, he's the Johnny Stark, right? Tony. Tony. Oh yeah. He's um, he's the, um, Johnny Stark, right? Tony. Hey, Oh, Johnny's talk over here. You can do the same thing with Tony. I'm not wrong. I mean, I'm wrong. Well, technically. Well, thanks, Jeff. I appreciate, um, I mean, I don't love learning things, but I appreciate that you forced it on me.

He gave you a beautiful thing about Garth Rangley and then took Guy Fieri away from you. You know what? That's actually a good trade. That's a good trade. Thank you, Jeff. We are better now than we were before. Katie.

Alan. What movie are we going to do next week? I know what you told me, and I forget. This was suggested very emphatically by our discord Oh, I love the discord folks. I believe they all watched this a couple weeks ago together Oh my I love that. They watch movies together guys get on the discord go to any of our social media or Our website where all family on stock home Yeah, find the link to the discord and join it and watch movies with these people because they are fantastic beautiful human beings nice folks

and join it and watch movies with these people because they are fantastic. Beautiful human beings. Nice folks. There's a movie, it's a Tooby original. I didn't realize Tooby was in the business of movie making. I guess everyone is now. Kisha Weeby? No.

Okay, good. We got so much other shit to do. We know where our bread is buttered. Whatever side hit the floor. Whichever side has cat hair on it. Both. Yay. It's a movie called Sleigh. That's right. It's about drag queens and vampires and biker gangs or something. It

sounds delightful. I'm excited. So go check that out. Yeah. Come back for that. Yeah. I really want to just quickly like y'all don't give up hope. We got to hope right? Like that's all we can do right now is hope and do things and be kind to each other and be I know I keep saying be empathetic and kind to each other but I'm sticking by that. If you're gonna keep giving this pep talk, I'm going to need you to sing it to the tune of Faith by George Michael as covered by Limp Bizkit. by George Michael as covered by Limp Bizkit. What if I do it to the tune of Love Song by The Cure as covered by 311?

You know, I hate Love 311. Friend of the podcast, Perry, started listening to 311 ironically and then was like, actually this rules. Chill. Love that dude. But just like, we're here for you. You're here to be there for everybody.

Reach out if you need us. We're, we're, yeah, I don't know. I don't even fucking know anymore. I know you're losing. You gotta have hope. Look, we're already almost two months through the 48 month period. We're two down, 46 to go. Look at us, we're working through it. We're one 24th of the way through.

We love you all. We do. Thanks for being so patient with us with our medical travails this month. And I hope you're as happy as I am that Katie is back. I'm hoping. I'm hope to. Lock it. Thanks so much for listening to another episode of Weird Wolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Never empty! Many acts aint not dead rules, so many sightings and the poor No way to end Finland's cute, heartfelt reviews Killer clowns and land the face, killing everything out of space Appearance I've passed the encase, please make eye-catching your grave

EMT, borrowed and comedy reviews, hungry Brian from Wings and Stephen King EMT We live deliciously by temper trees Obese gracing the calm today A pair of normal active dicks from Mr. Rogers City EMT, EMT