Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 516- Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

We're back, baby! Thank you everyone for your understanding, kind words, and true concern for us over the last few weeks. When we started this show a decade ago, we never imagined that we'd someday grow a community of such truly good and generous people. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. This week we're discussing the 2024 teen romance/horror film "Lisa Frankenstein" and you know how much I love teen romance! (not at all. Like really really not at all.)  If you absolutely must Diablo Cody, watch "Jennifer's Body" instead. It's Episode 107. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes plus we'll be back this month with a brand new one for your ears! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Welcome back. Oh, we're gonna get sued for that one. By who? The estate of Mr. Kata? Who? Mr. Kata? Oh, I was thinking more like Mace. That one. By who? The estate of Mr. Cotta? Who? Mr. Cotta? Oh, I was thinking more like Mace.

Pretty sure Pete Diddly has a lot bigger fish to fry right now like his own fucking shit ass self. Yeah, you really turned out to be a bad boy. For life. That joke fucking sucked. I've been back for 30 seconds and I already wanna tell you to cut something I've said. Hi guys.

Thanks for letting us have a break and not hassling us. Yeah, you guys were the best. We got no mean messages? Oh no, I just didn't send them to you. Good, good, good Lord. Somebody sent us a knife in the mail that just said you written on it. Did you hide it with all your other knives

that are hidden around the house? Great. I dumped it into my box of knives. No, it's just keep it under your bed. I did say yesterday I've been off all week of work. So don't try to come to steal my house because I'm here. And yesterday I was like, I had some downtime. So I was like, oh, I'm missing.

I'm going to go watch TV and sharpen some knives. And she's like, that's weird. Yeah, that is weird. You gotta sharpen your kitchen knives. Oh, you're sharpening the kitchen knives. I mean, that's not weird. And just some like machetes about the place. I did sharpen a machete, you are correct.

Because you had to do the hillside. Yeah, I was clearing, I was clearing brush on the hillside. God, I wish I had just driven up your driveway and seen you swinging a machete and around in the back. I would have really enjoyed that. I often wonder what my neighbors think when they see me in the front yard cutting the rose bush with a machete and a sleeveless t-shirt with probably something offensive.

Like it should have been Lars written on it with a picture of Lars and Cliff Burton. I think that's your best shirt. And also I think you should do it shirtless. That's not the place. I got that's your best shirt. And also I think you should do a shirtless. Bless up the place. I got that Northern European skin. It would just burn like a motherfucker. Oh, I feel like we're telling these jokes so that we don't have to talk about the movie that we did this week.

Lisa Frankenstein. Katie got a new favorite movie. Guys listen, clearly I've been in a dark place. Teen romance is not for me at the best of times, other than the film Can't Hardly Wait, which I think is a perfect movie. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- What about Vengeance for Sexual Assault, though? Fine. Which I feel like is the best thing Diablo Cody has going for her. Is it all of her movies that I've seen, except for maybe Juno?

I can't remember. Well, he gets his for being a creep, not necessarily a sexual assaulter. His wife leaves him and gets a baby anyway. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a problem, too, of, as you mentioned, Diablo Cody, like a woman older than me writing dialogue for teens. Like maybe don't, maybe let, maybe bring in a teen and let them do it.

But hear me out on this one. The guy who's playing the creature as they're known in the film, looks like a young Glenn Danzig when he's in full makeup when we initially meet him. He sure does. He's got the mutton chops and everything. That's coal sprouts. Yeah. Now correct me if I'm wrong. When you go into acting, you can pick your own name. He, Imogene Puts did. Imogene Puts. Yeah. She's gonna keep that poots. Poots. Coal sprouts. It sounds like, um, something you'd buy at a Whole Foods and be like, I don't know, I thought we'd try it. It's for sandwiches.

What? You put Coal Sprouse on your sandwiches. Oh, give it a try. Oh, it's so crunchy. And wet. And wet. Apparently they played Cody on the real life of Zack and Cody or whatever.

There's a lot of Nickelodeon in this movie. Oh, is that so? The director who is Robin Williams' daughter. Yeah, Zelda Williams. Was like a voice in some Nickelodeon stuff. And then this cat was a, was one of the either Zack or Cody, I believe Cody. I'm gonna guess Cody. You should have stuck with Cody. This is character. What if you just took like, Hi, I'm Magnum P.I. Mr. Selma. But in my last name. No, just Magnum P.I.

No, I think it has to be as though my parents named me that. Oh, Katie Magnum P.I. I do think there's a problem with an adult writing stuff for teens to say. Sure. And everything sounds like the Gilmore Girls, you know what I mean? It's the problem of the Gilmore Girls. Big problem with Juno is that like she spoke in a way that every adult wished they could speak.

Yes, it's dumb. But this does star Katherine Newton, who I very much enjoy as an actor. I, it's dumb. But this does star Katherine Newton, who I very much enjoy as an actor. I don't know her. She was in Freaky, the movie with Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn. Yeah. She is the one who swaps places with Vince Vaughn.

OK, she is the titular Lisa swallow in this. It also has Carla Gugino. Thank you for saying it correctly. I missed your hand gesture though. I don't think you did it did it appropriately. It's much better than when I couldn't remember her name and turned to Katie or turned to Missy and said a very discriminatory against Italian Americans name for her instead. What did you say? Spaghetti meatabald in here.

She's got a fucking Italian as hell name. What's her last name like? Manicotti? I can't remember. Come on. Carla Gugino. Carla Gugino. She's great in this.

She's fucking great. She's great in everything. Yeah, great in everything. A real talent. A real talent. Yeah, I know. Just saying talent. It's just a fun thing to say. Everything a real talent Okay, so this movie opens on a cute little animation opener all reading books and shit Yeah, I felt very sorrow of young were there and I thought maybe I like this Give you a get your your girtha, read your sorrow of young Werther.

I'm going to just skid right by that. I'm going to Tokyo drift around it and pretend I never saw it. Having a Tokyo drift reference against my girta reference is the best thing you could have possibly done. I really wanted to just find an equilibrium for us. So this girl, this little cartoon girl, she's in love with Frankenstein. Yeah.

She's in love with Frankenstein. And you're like, oh shit, that's this movie, isn't it? Yeah. But then she falls in love with somebody else. So Frankenstein has to off himself, I guess. Wait, really? Yeah. She's still paying attention during the opening credits.

I mean, I had this at a higher rate of speed. I had to, but they also talked so fast that it kept being like, I don't know. But it also then cuts to a young lady in the 80s in a cemetery doing a great headstone rubbing while the promise is playing, and that song is a fucking banger. You put that on a mix for Lucy when she was a baby. Yeah. When she was an infant. And then we see the young lady doing her hair, crimping

her hair. I want this hair. I want big hair. Is big hair gonna be a thing again? It's gotta come back. It's gotta come back. You gotta get the bee catcher bangs again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This girl is sharing a mirror with her friend or sister or someone we don't know yet, this other girl. Taffy. Taffy, who says that they're going to a critical rager

and that the doctor said she needed socialization. And I thought, fuck, I wish a doctor would tell me to rage. Doctors tell me to stop raging. Since you're getting too old for this. Do you see these numbers on your? Ma'am, the raging must end. Can I slow it down? No, you must end.

You've got to get to Lemmy levels. Where you're just invincible? Well, there's these apocryphal stories about Lemmy that his doctor was like, listen, if you stop doing speed, your heart will stop. That's incredible. Which can't be true. Can't be true.

But he is the man who his doctor was like, you need to quit drinking. So he stopped drinking brown liquor and moved to clear liquor. Well, that's healthier for you. I think everybody knows that. Sure. I'm yeah. I think water. Yeah. And he lived a good long time. Much longer than he should have. Yeah. So I'm saying literally pickled himself. We should all try to be more like Lemmy.

Yeah. Just, just wear a bunch of Nazi shit and drink too much. I can take one and not the other. We can take and choose which Lemmys we want. Yeah, I mean, he was a hero of many of us. Sure. Yeah. Here you go. This is where we set up Check Off Standing Bed, which

was won by Taffy in the Junior Mistropic pageant. She's great. I really like Taffy. Taffy is such a baffling character in this movie. Right. Taffy is fantastic. She is set up to be the antagonist of the character who is actually the villain in this film, who is our protagonist.

It's very weird. It's very flipped on its head. It's Big Trouble and Little China-ish. It doesn't feel flipped on its head. It's Big Trouble and Little China-ish. It doesn't feel flipped on its head, it just feels stupid. Yeah, it feels like- It feels irreverent, I don't know, not irreverent. It feels like it's trying to be subversive

without actually being good. Sure, yeah. And it feels like the movie is just like, just go with it, you wanna be the bad person, just enjoy being the bad person with her. I would rather be Taffy. Taffy's got it going on. Who would not rather just be a supportive friend

to everyone around her? Yeah, and Taffy's happy. Yeah, Taffy's great. Her mom's a shitbag, but she's great. Yeah, her mom's all right. She's just hungry. God, Carla Gugino's thin in this. Yeah.

I just watched some, oh, I'm not gonna remember the name of it, but it was an action movie starring her and, there's like these three women that run this library for assassins. What? And it's her, Angela. Bassett?

Yes, Angela Bassett. Knew it. And there's a third lady, and they're all- Look, I wanna guess who it Yes, Angela Bassett. Knew it. And there's a third lady and they're all- I want to guess who it is, Cameron Diaz. I got a pot down so I can get this- Lucy Liu. Get this- Drew Barrymore.

Jane Trehorn. That's not even a name, is it? Somebody's name. They just sat upright in their bed. What? They're talking about me. It's like the never ending story up in here. That's a fucked up movie.

Oh, the movie is called Gunpowder Milkshake. No, it's not. The movie is called Gunpowder Milkshake. Okay. And it's Carla Gugino of the, in the library, it's Carla Gugino, Michelle Yeoh and Angela Bassett. Oh, that's very cool. And I was like, I want these three women somehow in my life

to be people that I go to. I'm like, hey, can you give me some vice versa? They need to be witches, like the three witches from Shakespeare, you know? Exactly. So anyway, Lisa gets in this tanning bed and is immediately electrocuted, which will come into play later.

We learned that she's new here, and she has a crush on the editor of the literary magazine, Michael Trent. Michael Trent. Who when we meet him, looks every one of his 26 years. And the least editor of the literary magazine anyone has ever looked. Taffy would fucking know who he was.

That guy, Taffy would fucking know. Because he's 26, everybody knows the 26 year old who's still in high school. You're like this. I didn't even think this was legal anymore. This guy can rent a car. They also refer to the metalheads as Hesher's, which I feel like just isn't around enough anymore. Referring to metalheads as Hesher's. No, I think that's cool. Yeah. But the way this eighties looks doesn't look right to me. Sure. It looks too

pretty. It looks like people try to remember what the eighties look like now. Yeah. Yeah. There's not enough seventies in it. Yeah. There's no hangover. Yeah. Yeah. Um, uh, yeah, I have a note that says she befriended a grave. Don't know what that means. Well, she's got the guy, the guy on top of the grave. Oh, that's right. That's right. Because she says it's her favorite headstone. And Taffy's like, you have a favorite headstone?

I was like, bitch, I have a favorite headstone. Who doesn't? It's the Titty Sphinx. Oh, mine's Lester, the shark, the Jaws man. Yeah. I like that we do know each other's favorite headstones. Oh my God. I saw a woman walking down the street on Liberty Avenue,

wearing a shirt. It looked homemade. It was just a photo of the Titty Sphinx. And above it, it said Titty. And underneath it said Sphinx. And I thought, where the fuck do I get that shirt? Titty Sphinx. If you all don't know the Titty Sphinx,

you can literally Google Titty Sphinx, and you will find out what we're talking about. Titty Sphinx, Pittsburgh. Oh, I should be ringing that bell. You took it off my chair. You took it from me. I don't know what I did. You may have put it over there.

No, my legs won't. I would never. I actually probably did, I'm sorry. So we found out that Taffy's her stepsister because Dad married Carla Gugino after Dad's former wife was killed by an axe murderer. Yes, in front of, almost essentially in front of Lisa.

Which I feel like is where this movie jumps into like the my favorite murder end of being completely insensitive about death and suicide. Yeah, for sure, for sure. I don't, Paffy's telling the story to her friends where she's like, and her mom got ax murdered. It's like Taffy feels, it feels like Taffy wouldn't say that. Taffy's too nice.

Yeah, her mom was murdered right in front of her. Yeah. They get remarried like six months or so after. What is that? What is the dad's deal? Is he rich? Like, why are they married? It's so weird, because he's playing the exact same character

he plays in Stranger Things. But he's just like this non-committal, not interested in anything, just wants to read the newspaper dead. Like what does Carla Gugino see in him? He must be rich. He must be. Must be rich.

Because we do find that, learn later that Carla Gugino has been married several times. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe she's just moving around. She a gold digger. She a gold digger. She a gold digger.

Um, when we meet Michael Trent, he's wearing a Nietzsche shirt. Yeah, of course he is. I hate that. Michael Trent Reznor. Michael Trent Reznor. And then his girlfriend, lady friend, friend. Friend, yeah. Gives Lisa PCP at this party?

Yeah. That was the eighties, all over the place. Really? Could be. And then his girlfriend, lady friend, friend, friend, yeah. Gives Lisa PCP at this party? Yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That was the 80s, all over the place. Really? Couldn't go to a party in the 80s

without getting dosed with angel dust. I mean, it wasn't, was it a very common thing to have around? It was a common thing to be worried that it was around. Okay, okay. There were like after school specials about kids jumping off of buildings because they got dosed with PCP.

Okay, so that was gone by the time. That was 10 years later, that was out, yeah. Yeah, you were all crack all the time. They were like after school specials about kids jumping off of buildings because they got dosed with PCP. Okay. So that was gone by the time that was 10 years later. That was out. Yeah. You were all crack all the time. All crack all the time. Yeah. It reminded of the Paul F. Tompkins joke.

What if they had named it crackle? Why? It just wouldn't seem as bad. It's so cute. That is cute. That is cute. So yeah, she gets dosed and she's like, she's all messed up and her lab partner, who seems like a really nice guy doing really nice things.

Looking like a baby Breckenmeier. Doesn't he look, I was like, is that his child? I don't think it is. Breckenmeier, not a last name. Nope, two full ones. You're looking up the derivation of this young man. I am Bryce Romero. Oh, one of my own. How old do you think he is Breckenmire's kid? This is the Breckenmeyer's kid. Mr. Breckenmeyer?

How old is that child? 31. Holy shit, did you look it up? No. He's 31! Wow. So if you're 5' 6", you're just a high schooler for eternity? I guess so.

It's like that kid in Near Dark. But she is. She's like two feet taller than him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he takes her for a place to sit down into a bedroom and then starts groping her. Yeah. Yeah. Before that, he says your hair feels like Easter grass. Fucking hilarious. Which I thought was very funny.

Do you, I remember the smell of Aquanet white rain. Okay. And the feel of that hair. Yeah. So well. So crunchy. Yeah, like my first girlfriend definitely had that hair. For sure. She should have. Of course. That's her right.

Why wouldn't you? Yeah. She's 15, man. Someday I'll find my, I have like my senior class photo around somewhere and there's so much of that hair. I would love to see that. Also I have big sweeping bangs, so you should probably see that at some point.

I can't picture you with bangs. Just like almost like the McSqueed, the Tony Hawk haircut, but like not as long. Okay, okay. All right, well, I look pretty much like this. Just younger. I also had like sideburns that went down my throat and you were that guy. Oh, in this movie, the creature has big sideburns and I kept being like, nah,

yeah, you can't do that anymore. But if you want big hair to come back, those sideburns got to come back too. I don't know if that's a trade I'm willing to, I'm willing to make. Yeah. Yeah. Or the, uh, the or the Luke Perry, Beverly Hills 90210 sideburns and pompadour. Those died with him.

And James Dean, I guess. Luke Perry took the sideburns to his grave. He did, they're gone. So he assaults her, gropes her, she gets away and runs to the cemetery to her stone boyfriend in the cemetery and says I wish I was with you yeah just a weird thing to say to your stone boyfriend yeah you don't know him and then and then lightning hits the cemetery after she breaks a mirror as you do she's in a Marie Antoinette getup under a PBR blanket

is my next note. I think there's like a weird dream sequence maybe. Oh yeah, she has a goth dream. She has a goth dream. She has a goth dream to Galaxy 500, which I was like, I like Galaxy 500 and I like goth, but they couldn't afford a cure song for this situation? They reference the cure later and they would be clearly

it's a place for the cure. Yeah. Galaxy 500 is like that kid who can roll a cigarette with one hand. I'm glad goth kids dream in goth. By the time I was a teenager, being goth was already so socially unacceptable that, you know. You grew up in a bright colored clothing time. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a, it was a fallow fallow years for the goth culture. Tough times to be a goth. It's back now in a big way. Yeah. See I, I just, I was bookended by a good goth. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I, I went into high school the year that or the, my freshman year of high school was when disintegration by the cure dropped. Oh, dropped, dropped like it was hot.

Yeah, it was. It was hot. No, it's great. Yeah, it's great. So she has this scoff dream from which she wakes up masturbating. Yes. Yeah. There's like a scary mask under the bed and it's like grabbing at her ankles or something.

And she wakes up, her sister pulls a blanket off of her. And she's like, oh, it's fine, everybody does it. And I was like, fuck yeah, Taffy. Taffy is so sex-positive. You gotta love her. Taffy is positive about everything. There's so many allusions to Taffy getting railed throughout this movie.

She's like, Taffy fucking rules. Taffy is the best. Yeah. But Lisa's stepmom is mad. This is Carla Gugino. Yeah. She's mad. Yeah, because the mirror got broken.

Lisa comes down wearing a Cathy t-shirt. Did you notice that? Ack. Does this bathing suit make me look ack? Yes, chocolate it does. God, what a fucking just piece of shit cartoon, Kathy. Kathy, how dare you? Kathy sucks.

Are you gonna come after Zeggy now? I love shopping and men and chocolate and I'm fat bikini. Yes. Is this what you think women? That's what I think me. You do love to shop. I do love to shop. You like chocolate a lot.

Yeah, I like buying ridiculous shirts. Just bought one. Are you Cathy? I need to take a Buzzfeed quiz to see what 80s cartoon I am. It's gotta be Garfield. It's always gotta be Garfield. I need to be that one with the,

I'm a haggard, the horrible. Just don't be Andy Cap. No, nobody's Andy Cap. Although why did he have those hot fries? I don't know, they're delicious though. They still make them? Still make them, yeah. You can get Andy Cap hot fries in this world.

Andy Cap hot fries you can still get, but they have like no cultural relevance because one was the last time a child read Andy Cap. A hilarious romp through domestic abuse. Yeah, Andy Cap. Great. Carla Gugino through domestic abuse. Andy Cap. Andy Cap. Great. Carla Gugino's talking about how she's an intuitive person. She also says, no one coddled me

when my dad blew up in Da Nang. And then I thought, Alan doesn't believe that happened. Yeah, no, I'm denier. She said, that's why I am the way I am today. Yeah. Oh, fuck. That's delivered so lovely.

She's fantastic. She's great. She's in all those Mike Flanagan things. Hill House and all that, yeah. That's the only one I watched, but yeah. And she's the star of, he directed the movie Gerald's Game based on a Stephen Kang thing where a couple is having BDSM sex for the first time. Is it Carla Gugino? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh damn. And the husband dies handcuffed on top of the wife, or the wife is handcuffed to the bed and the husband dies on top of her. Oh shit. And the rest of the movie is her trying to get out of that situation. I believe I've never seen it.

Okay. Thanks, you're like OMDB or movie database. Orchestral maneuvers in the dark. Electricity. Am I getting this right? Well, anyway, the monuments been struck by lightning. We see it on the news. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Lisa's vegetarianism is disrespected. And I felt that in the core of my being. Yeah. Well, teens in the eighties, you know? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she stays home and watches day of the dead.

Yes. She's watching day of the dead. They're going to see him. Um, a night showing of look who's talking. Hell yeah. I wonder if that movie is funny. I don't know. I was like, you know, six. I thought so. Is Bruce Willis the baby? He's't know. I was like, you know, six, I thought so. Is Bruce Willis the baby? He's the baby's voice. He's the baby's voice. It's Bruce Willis.

You got Kersi Alley, who was funny until she turned into a Republican, and then it was funny when she died. Gutenberg? John Travolta. John Travolta. Wow, what a mix-up. I think I'm mixing up, uh,

Luke who's talking and a three men and a baby, three men and a baby. He's got Gutenberg. Oh, love that. Gutenberg has always made me uncomfortable. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. He's got vibes. He's got vibes. Yeah. When you're in a movie with Nick cage and Nick cage seems like the rational one. Yeah. Yeah. The one you'd hide behind if someone came in the room. Yeah. The one who's not a Scientologist. It's a cult, right? Oh, yeah. I think everyone agrees, right? Even the people in it. Yeah, they know. Every time I find out someone's a Scientologist, it's like, re-off, man. Yep.

So she's staying home and there's banging on the door and then someone smashes through the window dressed like the swamp thing. I love Swamp Thing. We did Swamp Thing. I think I loved it. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Adrian Barbeau's giant boobs are in that movie. They're out for the entire film. Man, I might watch Swamp Thing when I get home tonight? Is that a bad idea? If this podcast is giving you nothing else, besides your newfound love of a martial arts film. Yeah. If Swamp Thing is the thing you take away, I will be like, I might as honestly as surprise

you did not grow up with that movie. I remember the TV show being on USA Network. Yeah, that's all I remember. Because you grew up with Robocop, and in my brain those are like two movies that I saw way too young. I saw Robocop for the first time when we did it. Oh, I thought you grew up with young Robocop.

No. Wait, maybe I did see it really young. Yeah, I thought that was one of the things that we talked about, but I have a memory like a poopy stinky poopy boy. I am a poop emoji of our human being. I'm a lump. Welcome to the shitcast.

Yeah. Look, it's our first one back. We've been sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're better. We're back. We're better. We're back.

Baby. So he, she, she lets him in. I mean, he comes crashing in. She just let him through a window. But then she just kind kinda lets him chill. After he pukes olive oil all over her. Without realizing who he is. Like, you have an etching of his grave, bro.

How'd you not recognize him? And this is when I start thinking that I'm watching the movie, but I'm falling asleep at points. It feels like things are missing. It feels like deleted scenes, like you've had a blackout or something. Because he's like a moss man. He's a moss man.

And then all of a sudden he's a hot young dancing man. And I don't know when those, like when was the flip? Like did she crack him open at some point? I missed it. She puts him in the shower. Yeah, yeah. When that's enough to clean him off, I guess. I guess.

He also starts to cry and his tears smell bad. Yeah, I did like that. Which is fine. Stinky tears is funny. But she says, I'm gonna turn on college radio. It's for people like us with feelings. Yeah. And I was like, that's written by a woman in her mid-40s.

Like clearly, clearly. Yeah, because nobody since then has grown up with college radio. No. Like God bless WRCT. Doing the with college radio. No. Like God bless WRCT. Doing the Lord's work. Yeah. And if you're a young kid listening to it,

you do have feelings. You are important. It's fantastic. Right. But like that is definitely an 80s thing. She's sort of between the two of us in age. Yeah, she's 46. So where she's almost smack in the middle.

Yeah. I have written here, oh, my friend Alan loves the chame where she's almost smack in the middle. Yeah. I have written here, Oh, my friend Alan loves the chameleons. I do love the chameleon. You love the soundtrack to this movie. It's really good. It's really good. Yeah.

Suddenly he's wearing a violent Femmes t-shirt and a blazer. Yeah. Okay. Okay. We come down to the violent Femmes. I love the violent Femmes. Oh my God. I saw them at Laga in like 2004 maybe.

They were great. They were great. Great band. Great band. Weird band. Weird, yeah. Weird shit. They were for people who had feelings.

Yeah. Oh my God. People like us. People with feelings. But there is that thing of like being a high school kid and thinking that you're the only person who's ever had an emotion. It's true. No one understands you. And that you know the only person who's ever had an emotion. It's true. No one understands you.

And that, you know, all the coolest bands. Yeah, of course. Of course. Oh, I remember being young and someone telling me that I knew all the coolest bands. And I was like, yeah, of course. Cause you've burst into a million pieces like the sun eventually will. I just ejaculated rainbows all over everything. So good. Then your tears smelled bad. They did smell bad. Yeah. So this is where I just start referring to the students dancing.

Okay, fine. Dancing is sad. He wants to dress her. All these dancing things. He gives her cool clothes to wear. Is he giving her clothes? Oh right. He picks out her clothes the next morning, but first we have the, they've broken all the snow babies.

Yeah. Karla Gugino's freaking out about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How am I gonna serve Sambuca? Which sounds like something my cousin Vicky would say. Ha ha ha ha. This is the only part of the movie that I genuinely liked, which is where Lisa is describing the burglar

and she just describes Hamburglar. Cause I fucking love Hamburglar. And I don't know why. And I just describes Hamburglar. Cause I fucking love Hamburglar. And I don't know why. And I just think Hamburglar's great. Why wouldn't you love him? Get high, do crimes for Satan. One of those crimes is definitely stealing hamburgers. We need a get high, do crimes for Satan shirt

that has Hamburglar's picture on it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just saying. You can even throw in a wimpy from Popeye, just all the dudes who steal hamburgers in situations. Get high, do crimes for Satan. He's just been sitting in this closet all night. Yeah.

Yeah, because when she opens the closet, he hands her outfits. One of them is a dress that she says Taffy gave to her because she said she got too many compliments in it. I like Taffy. Taffy rules. Men picking out your clothes though, it gives me the Uggs. You don't want to dress like dark blossom like the outfit he gives her.

Dark blossom. She's got a blossom hat on. She's 28 years old too, by the way. I just want to be real clear on that. And she's been playing a high school kid for the last 15 years. Yeah, good for her. That's a good long run. Yeah.

She's on Supernatural as a high school kid. That was forever ago. Yeah, yeah. She's like, yeah, she's great. Great high school kid. Great high school kid. That was forever ago. Yeah. She's like, yeah, she's great. Great high school kid. Carla Gugino is listening to some self-help podcasts that someone will eventually recommend to me and I'll respect them less for it. I hate when people try to get me to help myself.

But she's listening to a, a, uh, uh, a self-help book on tape and her Walkman while she's cleaning. Her, she, well, she's got exercise, like aerobic wear on and the Walkman is like a purse, like a cross body purse. Yeah. They used to have straps. I didn't know that. Yeah. Why didn't I have one for my Discman? I had a Walkman too, but sure. Yeah. Well, this one, they already moved to the clips. I mean, my, I had a Walkman with a clip, but you can get a Walkman with a clip. Yeah.

Hell yeah. That I, the yellow sports Walkman, that was waterproof for some unknown reason. When you're walking in the rain. Sure. Yeah. Smoking cigarettes and being sad. Yeah. Oh, those were the days. I guess no one's stopping us from smoking cigarettes and being sad now, except our doctors who tell us to stop raging. Exactly. I just got my blood pressure down to the normal range. I'm so happy. When the machine says normal, and I'm like, finally, it took me 51 years, but I'm finally normal. He comes down and horks a worm into her food.

Worms keep falling out of him. I did actually like that too. Yeah. And then Carla Gurdino eats it in her diet plate. Yeah. Which appears to be like canned peaches and cottage cheese, which felt bang on. I can remember eating that and tuna fish, canned tuna fish.

Yeah. Was like Weight Watchers meal I ate with my mom when I was a kid. Sad. Makes me feel sad. She eats the puke. Yep. She eats the puke worm.

Yeah. And then we cut to school where they're talking about some other social situation where there will be no punks, no Trenchies and no death clowns. Juggalos? I mean, who else could be a death clown? It's like the pre-Juggalo, the proto-Juggalo. I mean, I guess you could call Goths death clowns. Yeah, that's actually really true.

Okay. Yeah. Another good Paul of Topkins joke. He saw somebody running across the street and like dressing full Goth garb and he leaned out the window and yelled, hey, where's the funeral? It's terrible.

It's funny. Guys, love Paul F. Tompkins. You love Paul F. Tompkins. So she's talking to the creature. He does not speak and she's talking to him about her relationship or perceived relationship with Michael Trent. Yeah. Without recognizing that this guy is into her, I guess? I guess. He came back from the dead to fuck her, I guess. After she went to his statue and said, I want to be with you. And she's just like, that's not what I meant. But I'll keep you around? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You know high school girls. I don't. I don't know a single high school girl in the whole world. I genuinely don't name one. Can you even think of one? A current day high school girl? No, I will go to jail if I name one. So at some point she delivers a line, you're a dead man, not a Chrysler LeBaron. I have no recollection of what that was about.

I don't know either. She also makes a Rocky Horror reference. Damnit, Janet. Damnit, Janet. Yeah, I've never actually seen that. I just know that that's a Rocky Horror reference. I'm never gonna see it, I don't think. Sure.

I think at this point, it's too late. That ship has sailed for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like reading Catcher in the Rye when you're 25. Fuck, no. So yeah, she says damn it Janet, cause there's an altercation going on between Janet and Lisa.

Yes. And Janet is Carla Gorgino. Yes. Or Gorgino. Yeah, both things. Both things true. And she slaps Lisa, which then causes young Danzig to come out of the closet and smack her over the head

with a sewing machine. Because she is a psych nurse and she is saying that she's going to institutionalize Lisa. Yeah. Inpatient lockdown, special socks. I had so many friends who got institutionalized when I was in high school. school. Like it was just a thing parents did all the time when I was in high school. So yeah, that's very 80s. Spot on. I don't know what to say. It was military school, I think, where I came from.

Oh sure, that makes sense, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he kills her with a sewing machine. And then cuts her ear off and hugs Lisa. Yeah, yeah. So Lisa is immediately on board with Murda. She's very chill about this. She's like, not until we bury the body.

I won't sew her ear on you until we bury the body. Yeah. What? She doesn't even clean the blood off her rug. She does not. And this is weird. This is a weird turn for her because you haven't seen her be like insane. Right, right, right, right.

So then you're like, oh fuck, Janet was 100% correct. This woman does need psychiatric help. Yeah, she probably should have been institutionalized. She has a statue man living in her closet. Yeah. So she sews the ear onto him and it's not working. So this is when she gets the idea to put him in the tanning bed to revitalize the ear.

Right. This is the Frankenstein getting hit with the electricity of the lightning. Yeah. What is Contrampo? Contempo Casuals. It was a store in the mall. We also called it Contrampo. Oh, gotcha. Gotcha. Thank you. Oh, absolutely. Happy to help. Is it the Forever 21 of its day? Trashier, more club wear. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So now she's feeling cool at school. She's like a cool girl at school. She's wearing cool clothes. I guess these are cool clothes. Yeah. Taffy's clothes. Taffy's clothes. Although Taffy, oh no, it's, it was like Taffy's costume for a pageant. It wasn't Taffy's like day to day wear. And she does the thing where you are already wearing clothes and you're like, are you cool with me wearing this?

Yeah. Yeah. Taffy has a hickey. Yeah. Yeah. And we see Lisa writing a note like, do you wanna meet me somewhere, circle yes or no, and tucking it into a locker.

You think it's for Michael Trent? Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not. It's for Doug. It's for fucking Doug. It's Breckenmire's kid. 31 year old Breckenmire's kid. Breckenmire's adult son. Breckenmire's large, Breckenmire's small adult son.

I do not believe that they're not related. I'm sorry, I just don't. That's a Brecken liar if he's telling you he's not related. I'm sorry. I just don't. That's a record liar. If he's telling you it's not related. I mean, that's bullshit. Bryce Romero father, George Romero. That can't be. Is it really? That's what this says, but that can't possibly be true. Like our George Romero?

I mean, I searched Bryce Romero father and the first thing that came up was George Romero. Can that be? I don't think so. I don't think that's true. Google everything is wrong. Everything's a lie in Google now. George Romero had three children. I don't think so. I think it's Breckenmire's kid. Breckenmire's kid. Breckenmire. Excuse me. Brecken and Meyer. Even if the Lady Romero claims it was George's kid, Brick and Meyer's fucking mayor. Brick and Meyer. So the note was for Doug, she's luring him out to a swamp? I thought the cemetery, but I think a swamp, yeah.

No, you're right, in the cemetery. I don't know why I thought it was a swamp. It's got a swamp, but it's because the cemetery is neglected. Yeah, overgrown, yeah. Gotta tell ya, fucking love a neglected cemetery. Sure. That's a little bit of a bummer.

Yeah, but it's also, yeah, as a cool goth kid. You're a cool goth kid who wants cool goth vibes. Yeah, I just wanna smoke cloves in an overgrown cemetery. Is that so bad? Oh, smoking cloves. Oh man, you know I've done it. You know I've been there. Yeah, of course.

We all have been to a coffee shop in the 90s. You know I've been there. Yeah, of course. We all been to a coffee shop in the nineties. You know, I smoked clove in New Orleans. Wow. Where again? And you were wearing it? In New Orleans. New Orleans. Let's do the rest of this episode of Southern Lawyers because I feel like that'll be more fun. Katie, on your own TV, we'll turn this fucking thing off. You're going to take a hatchet to the back of the head.

They chop off this poor boy's hand, this poor sexual assault beast's hand. Yes. Which like, I'm never gonna be mad when a sexual assaulter gets their comeuppance. Yeah, especially when they're 31, touching a teenage girl. Oh wait, no, they're perfectly matched in age. But still, don't touch them with non-consensual.

No, oh my God, no, I was just making a joke about their ages. I know, I know, I was not accusing you of anything. I was just hand waving some sexual, whatever, she got the sand off. She got the sand off. And then the creature throws the hatchet into the back of his head. Yeah, as he runs away. Yeah, but because the creature needs a hand, he's also missing a hand. So he's back in the tanning bed, but now he's like a real boy. Yeah. I would note that says he's a real boy now. I do too. Yeah. With real sideburns. Yeah. And like less green skin. Yeah. But still a bit green. Yeah. He looks tired. I guess. Yeah. Sure. He's like the aforementioned Vince Vaughn. Yeah. Always looks tired. Me too. You don't. Oh, he's tired. Me too.

You don't. I'm just tired. It's not like Midsmawn. It looks like his eyes are trying to escape his face by going further into his skull. Maybe he's sleepy. Yeah, who isn't these days? That's what I'm saying. That's literally what I just said.

They dance and bugs are still falling off him. This is where I got upset about adults writing teen romance for adults to act out. You know what I mean? It's like, what are you doing here? What am I doing here? This is where I got upset about adults writing teen romance for adults to act out. You know what I mean? It's like, what are you doing here? What am I doing here? What are any of us doing here? It's like an inappropriate boner eating its own tail.

Yes. See, that's also a new t-shirt. I really want the get high and do crimes for Satan with the hamburger. I want to sell that until we are asked to not to. Will the hamburger's prison number be 20, like the prisoner number. Please. I would get that as a tattoo. Well now they can't do it because we'd run the risk of you getting it as a tattoo.

No, if he, Justin, if you draw that, I'll get it on my other butt cheek. I promise you I have nothing left. But then what if the Hamburglar sings at the next Trump inaugural? Do you think my butt tattoos are pressing? They're cursed! Great! They have cursed butt tattoos. I've got a lot of butt. I can get a lot of tattoos. We can make anything happen. Diablo Cody, are you here? And that's your next movie is writing itself.

Cheeks of doom. 2026, baby. Copyright, copyright, copyright. So they go to play the piano. They're playing Can't Fight This Feeling. My REO Speed Wagon. It's a nice scene. It's cute. It's fine. But then she gets up and she goes, I got to change my pad. But why? Like, why?

Why are you saying this? Missy Cackle with that. That got Missy. No. I was very put off by that. I have written here, Bob Ross. I haven't watched Bob Ross since I was in labor and screaming. Did you have Bob Ross going while you were in labor?

Yeah, it was very calming. Sure, his whole thing. Whole fucking thing. And then I could have never watched it again. Yeah, why would you? Things that water relive, labor. Screaming. Oh, not that I think you should, but if you watch The Pit, the Noah Wiley.

You should put it on while you're in labor. There is a scene of a woman in labor in that, that you see a thing that I never thought you would see on TV. What's that? A crowning baby. Oh. And she's like, what?

Well, that's some HBO shit, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got that. There's a lot of dicks in it. Really? Oh yeah, HBO has left the tit behind, and it's all dicks all the time. I wasn't expecting there to be on the pit.

I thought it was like ER. It is, but it's like people having their clothes taken off and then they go into the video. Oh, it's medical dicks. Yeah, it's not like hot dicks. Oh, I'm not here for medical dicks. That's a sad dick. That dick's having a bad day.

Something bad is happening to that dick's owner. You know what I mean? I don't want that. Alan, I don't want that. There is a scene where a man pisses all over a doctor and it's kind of funny. So it's like a fun scene for a dick because you see the dick pissing.

I guess that's okay. Speaking of HBO dicks that I was let down in. The Righteous Gemstones this season. There's a lot of naked Walter Goggins in it and he's an actor. It looks like he has fake teeth, but they're his real teeth. Okay. How's his dick?

Well, I was very excited because you see a lot of this man's dick. And then it came out in an interview that it was a prosthetic penis. There's like a scene of him, a long scene of him naked water skiing. His dick just flopping around. How did we get here? Oh, because dicks?

Crowning babies. Crowning babies. Bob Ross. Bob Ross to crowning babies. Bob Ross to prosthetic dicks. That's a Kevin Bacon for you. It's a hell of a Venn diagram. Werewolf Amulet square in the middle. Then there's a Hatachi Magic Wand joke? Yeah, I'm super glad you don't have to plug in vibes anymore. Totally wireless now. Was the magic wand a thing in the 80s? I don't know. I didn't find out about it until at least the 2000s. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. People masturbating with the Hatachi Magic Wand in the 80s. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. People masturbating with a touchy magic wand in the eighties. Get in touch. Get in touch. Let us know. Uh, Taffy is worried about her mom. Taffy is usually pretty cool about things is what she says. She's like, I'm usually pretty cool about things, but I feel like she deserves so much better than what she gets here from everyone.

Stuck with a shitty stepdad who seems like he may be into her. There's like that vibe kind of going on. Yeah, she says a couple things and he says a couple things that you're like, ew. Yeah. But she does say to Lisa, you don't have to worry about anything because your mom's already been murdered.

Yeah. Bold. Bold thing for this woman that we've been describing as compassionate throughout this entire film to say. When I say that, I think, um, that's not so great. It feels like at points it feels like she was rewritten and they left in shitty stuff about her. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah.

Oh, the Hitachi Magic one, she says, my aunt Shelly gave it to me for Christmas, said it might improve my personality. Like the idea of your aunt being like, hey, you need to jerk off more, make you decent to be around. Yeah, you're 16. And also Shelly, because get it, because Mary Shelly, because Shelly, because Frankenstein, get it. I did not get that.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh God. This is a real, uh, you being informed that the hell house is that Jesus is less. Oh God. I will never forget the moment you told me that and the bread and the wine. I have forgotten so many moments of my life. I will never forget that one. I'm glad I'm in one. I'm in a memory that's locked up. Top tier, Alan. There are very few things I won't forget. Did you see that the 825 Forest Road is out? The new Conietti join? Yes. And I think someone suggested we don't watch it right now at this point.

Yeah. There's some, uh, yes. At this point in our, uh, sadness. Yes. Um. But so we're not in it. No, we are definitely not in it. Well, when are we gonna be in a Cognetti? I don't know. I'm even saying his name right now. Yeah. And I think that's...

Hello, Cognetti. I'm not gonna pander to him. Your name is Cognetti. Look, you're... You know what? Just leave it there. I wasn't gonna go anywhere nice with that joke. I do like the joke, she wears white diamonds. So, you know, she's a bitch.

I have a question. Is a dirty banana an actual drink? I don't know, but it should be. It should be. Yeah. I love banana flavored things. Really remember when we went on the gateway clipper for that cocktail cruise and all of their specialty cocktails had banana liquor in them and you were like, I'm not fucking drinking this. I should specify, I like banana flavored candies. You like a runt, you like a runt. Banana flavored runts are my favorite.

I also like a banana flavored, is it now and laters I believe has a banana flavor? You like banana flavored candies you can get in the lobby of a grocery store from the 25 cent machine. Okay, got it, got it, got it. That were stocked in like 2000. Yeah. Oh yeah, they are pre-911.

They were stocked. Yes. Pre what now? Cause I don't believe it happened. Except you never forget. You know it didn't happen. Those towers were never there. That's why there's no photos of them from before.

Or they're still there. They're being hidden from us. You never know. AI these days. I have a note here that just says, I have to say this is sort of excruciating. Oh, man. So she's in bed with the creature.

Yeah. And she says, like, they're talking about being a virgin, or she's talking about being a virgin. And she says, I want to do it with someone I truly love, like Michael Trend. And the creature just rolls his eyes. I thought, I can't believe I want to do it with someone I truly love, like Michael Trend. And the creature just rolls his eyes. I thought, I can't believe I have to watch this. I have a note that says, she don't fuck that dead guy?

Oh, man. Things I didn't think this movie would include, necrophilia. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Well, by the time she fucks him, it's a lot, oh, nope, that dick dead. It's double necrophilia when she does it. That dick dead, yeah. There's the line, yup. Well, by the time she fucks him, it's a lot. Oh, nope, that dick dead. It's double necrophilia when she does it. That dick dead, yeah. Yeah.

There's the line, the electric terrorist, like a tanning bed, but for criminals. Oh my God. Taffy is crying and worrying about her mom, and Lisa is wearing her dress, and Taffy says through her tears, "'Your boobs look great, by the way.'" She's a sweet Taffy. through her tears, your boobs look great by the way. She's a sweet Taffy.

You're so kind. We learned that Doug was murdered at school, that the kids know about it now. And Taffy, excuse me, and Lisa gets called to the principal's office because she murdered him. Yeah, and Michael Trent's friend. Oh yes. Rats are out.

For having given him the note. Yeah. And says that, um, oh, and then there's like, somebody says that they saw somebody walking with him that had a funny walk and thick ankle. Yeah. Someone with a funny walk, thick ankles. That's a funny line. That's a funny line. That's a good line. It's a good line, but it's really out of place, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The creature knocks out an old man and steals his Volvo while a child waves? Yeah, very weird. I don't know. This is just a good reminder to have a plan when you wanna kill someone. Don't just do it willy nilly. No freewheeling murder, everyone.

Just have a plan, do your cardio. Do your things. So he's gonna take her in the stolen car to Michael Trent's to have sex with Michael Trent. Which he does. Unbeknownst to Michael Trent, she's gonna come over and have sex with him. Right, but he's in bed with Taffy.

She says she has a giant sponge with her, so he doesn't need to be worried. Right. And I was like, do they come in different sizes? I would assume so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to talk when I was nine about how sponges didn't work.

And if they did, I wouldn't have one of my cousins. Sweet Jesus. Cousin Spongy wouldn't be here right now. They should not have named her that. So she comes and finds Taffy in bed with Michael Trend. Yeah. Drops her giant sponge. Screams, sister's share, huh? Which I liked a lot.

And then what does young Danzig do? He cuts his dick off. He cuts his D and B off, yeah. To the tune of Wings of Love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. This is where the soundtrack starts to lose me. Yeah. Yeah. To the tune of Wings of Love. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. This is where the soundtrack starts to lose me. Yeah. Yeah.

Everyone's slow mo screaming to that song and the whole thing lands in the trash can and I don't know. So there is- Then he goes after Taffy, which I super didn't like. Yeah. He doesn't need to do that. No. Taffy deserves better than this.

Everyone in this movie is awful actually, when you get down to it. Even Taffy? Taffy says some in this movie is awful, actually, when you get down to it. Even Taffy? Taffy says some unkind things. Yeah, but not like murder. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like Doug, out of here. Fine with it.

Fine, fine. Michael Trent even. Ah, what did Michael Trent do? He just preferred that sister. And it was 26, which I don't love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But't love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but everyone is in there.

Everyone's in mortgage age in this film. It's true. So um, she tells Taffy she loves her. Yeah. After taking Taffy to the cemetery. Yeah. Taffy's now wearing the Nietzsche shirt. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, at some point they drop a cop into a grave. Yeah. And they kill a cop. I guess. I mean, did would that kill you or is she just a trapper for a little while? I guess. Who knows?

Who can say? We get back to Lisa's room for her to sew the dick on. Can I say, I think the people making this movie, maybe werewolf ambulance fans. Cause if you remember, when I was getting the checkup before my vasectomy, while the doctor was checking my testes, I didn't know what to do with my hands. So I Superman them on my hips and looked to the side. Which is what he does while his dick is being so funny.

You have told that story. Yeah. And she's got a Bauhaus poster. And a copy of Cat's Cradle on the desk behind him, which is my favorite Vonnegut, but that's because this was written by a woman only a few years older than me. Whatever.

And the cat's in the cradle and silver spoon. So they get engaged with jelly rings, jelly candy rings. I guess. And then they do the double necrophilia. Right. And trip to the moon is a repeating reference in this, she has a poster for trip to the moon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then when they're fucking, we get the rocket ride to the moon. Oh, in the animation. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah rocket ride to the moon. Oh, in the animation, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then after she has sex, she decides that she's going to unalive herself. I have a note here that says,

I feel like I passed out for some of this movie, but I'm sure I have been upright. I'm sure I have been upright. I was watching it at normal ass speed and I felt the same way. How could that be? I don't know. There's definitely shit missing from this film.

Something has to be. Alan, either that or you and I are having really hard cognitive things. I want the Zelda Williams cut of this film. Yeah, I don't wanna watch it. I want someone to tell me about it. So yes, she kills herself in the tanning bed. She has caught fire.

And then we cut to dad and Taffy at the headstone. Well, don't forget the note, death is temporary. I'll love you forever. Oh, okay. Because now she suddenly loves him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. When he fucked her with somebody else's dick. Oh, Michael Trent's dick.

Yeah, yeah, Michael Trent Reznor. So yeah, they're leaving flowers at mom's, at... Lisa's. Lisa, but isn't this also where Tina is buried as well? Yeah, well, we see her headstone. They're putting flowers on it and Taffy is like squinting oddly at it. And then when we pan out to see what Taffy's looking at,

it says beloved wife on the headstone. Is the implication that the creature carved that in there? Yeah, uh-huh. Okay. He has very good handwriting. I mean, I didn't know he was a stonemason. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sure.

And then we cut to... Then dad says to her, we're going to go visit your mom, and then Fuddruckers. none. Sure. And then we cut to... Then dad says to her, we're gonna go visit your mom and then Fuddruckers. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Ruddfuckers. Ha ha ha ha ha. Fuddruckers.

Was Fuddruckers a burger place? Yeah. Okay, I sort of remember of Fuddruckers. There was a one in the... Hampstead. Yeah, until not too long ago. Yeah, I went there. I think I was only ever a vegetarian when I went there because they had those huge veggie

burgers. Yes. Yeah. That I'm gonna guess fell apart as all veggie burgers of that era did. They were mush. Yeah. Yeah. Um, lentil burger.

It will not stay together. There's nothing you can do. What you did to it. You have to mix meat with it to get it to stay. So now we cut to a bench where he is reading. He can read now. Yeah, and she's the bride of Frankenstein. And she's wrapped in Ace bandages.

Can I read you my last note? Yeah. Ugh. My last note? What a ridiculous movie. Yeah. Katie, sounds like we are going to the ratings phase.

I'm sure some people really love this movie. I'm sure for some people they found it sweet and adorable. And I don't know, whatever. It's not for me. It's a four and a half for me. I don't want to hear about it. You got it. I forgot for a moment this was a comedy podcast

and I was supposed to do that funny. So just, it is what it is. Fuck you. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha? What if I say thug you? I would give this movie a solid five. I'm going to go a little. I wasn't like, I feel like there's a kernel of a good movie in this. For sure. I feel like it got Diablo coded.

Yeah, I don't like her, but I remember. Did she write Jennifer's body? I remember liking Jennifer's body. That's the one that got through. Yeah. That movie made me like, uh, what's her nuts? Megan Fox. Yeah. That's the one that got through. Yeah. That movie made me like, uh, what's her nuts? Uh, Megan Fox. Yeah. That's the one. Yeah. What's her nuts?

What's her nuts? Deez nuts. I think that's the hardest thing. I think that's the hardest you've laughed at anything I've said today. In the, uh, hands off protest that was going around recently, there was somebody who had, uh, like hands off protest that we've gone around recently, there was somebody that had like hands off D's nuts. And I was just like, yeah, that's fine. Fuck it.

We don't even make sense. We just need to let them know we're angry. We're here now. Katie. Alan. Can we talk about what came in an envelope from Australia? Yes, would you describe it to me, please? We got a book.

A book. The book is called Medieval Monsters and Other Creatures by Timothy Eide. Yes. It is written and illustrated by Timothy Eide. Saint Eide's if you will. Saint Eide's. Saint Ives. It is gorgeous. Yeah. It is a beautiful book of dragons and other a beautiful book of dragons and other medieval creatures and marginalia and little bunnies and nights and weird body shit. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yeah. And what did they also send us Katie? A painting, a painting of a bus. It's on our social media. You have to look at it. It's so good. Tim, thank you so much. And a lovely letter, a lovely letter

that just fucking hit me right at the right time. Thank you so much. Write in the fields. Write in them. I won't say that. Write in the fields? No, I won't say that. Riz.

Those are miles apart. Oh, I see, I see. Yeah, yeah. Riz. That phrase is amazeballs and awesome sauce. Cool beans. Also miles apart. Thank you, Tim.

This is the sweetest and I can't wait to show this book to Lucy when I am sure that she won't be afraid of it. But I am gonna show it to my friend, Kacen, who's gonna love it, cause she loves marginalia. We got another gift from across the sea on the other side of the world. What is it, Alan? It is two DVDs of the same.

I love that they bought two. Because in the past, you've complained that I steal all the things. You take all the DVDs. You're the one with a DVD collection. Ooh, you like all the cool stuff, and you don't want like all the cool stuff and you don't want me to like cool stuff

and that's so uncool. Full disclosure, I'll say, hey, do you wanna take this home? You're like, nah. Yeah, I do say, I do say nah a lot. Sometimes it's just a matter of not wanting to carry it down the stairs. But listener and Discord member Mortimer

sent us two copies of Handsome Guys, which is a South Korean remake of Tucker and Dale versus Evil. I cannot wait to watch this, thank you Mortimer. And apparently they watched it in the Discord film hangout. Yeah, Saturday nights guys, Saturday nights get get on the discord and watch movies with nice people and they all thought that we would love it.

So they got us copies and sent them from South Korea. So sweet. Thank you guys. That hit me right in my feels. It also just hit me right in my feels. I said it out loud. How nice people were to us over the last two weeks. Oh my God.

Thank you. Yes. I always, I posted this on our Reddit, but I always like think about, I always worry about people on the internet because it's so easy to just say shit when you don't have to look me in the face to say it. And I know people do, but like nobody, at least I didn't see anybody be a dick, which I didn't see anything. I was fucking unbelievable.

Yeah. So kind. So kind. You guys rule. You'd have to be a real cold hearted piece of shit. That's the internet. My dude, it's the internet. People are like worse than that on our running. You know, it's not the, the corner of the internet that we have scratched out for our, nah, all right. Pretty good. It's pretty good. Really get on that discord. A lot of stuff to do on there. Get on stuff to do on there. Get on that Discord.

Get on there. Yeah, what are you doing? Stop listening to this, go to Discord. You can do both. You can do both, you can do both at once. Not if you're driving though. But they'll probably wanna come back and listen to another movie.

Should we do another movie? Yeah. Let's do something that has a real dick in it. Is this a real dick or is this a prosthetic dick? I think it's also a prosthetic dick, but still a dick. God damn it, Alan, I'm like, women don't put on fake titties. It's not just like a chest plate.

I don't know if that's true. Remember that one movie where Linnea Quigley shoved a lipstick into her titty? That was definitely a fake titty. I stand corrected. Great work. I'm like a Mr. Skin for fake titties. You really are.

Not fake titties like, you know, implants, fake titties like prosthetics. Yeah. Very good. Very good. We're going to do Nosferatu after our teenage listener wrote in and really suggested heavily that we do it. Oh man. Kind people, teens.

We've got it all. We've got it all. Teens that are actually teenage and should not be listening to us. Go to bed. You have school tomorrow. Don't. And listen, take it easy on your mom. She works really hard for you.

Yeah. Your dad's a dick though. Oh my God. Yeah. Fuck that guy. We are fine. You and me, we have, we are fine. I love us.

Dead mom club. Dead mom club. Yeah, that's it. Go fucking. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going dead mom club yeah that's it go fucking uh watching us for all two I think it's on the peacock and get us on patreon where

I think we're we may do this month because I'm sorry I'm going on you know what if you take your money back, I don't care. I'm sorry guys, I couldn't do it. We'll get back on it, I swear. And yeah, you're all the best. Yeah, thanks guys. Go buy t-shirts. Justin Gray hit us up with that kid I do cry for. I swear that it's gonna to be today is Monday.

I bet it's in my inbox by Wednesday. And I feel so sad about it. Because I'm so demanding. A beautiful human being. And yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it. Thanks, guys.

Why don't you thank these people for listening to another episode of Wearable Fabulous. You want me to say it? I want you to say it. That's it. That's it. Thanks guys. Don't you think it's beautiful listening to another episode of werewolf ambulance? You want me to say it? I want you to say. Okay. Okay. Okay. Thank you for listening to another episode of werewolf ambulance. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo So we decide, exam the pool No we do it, Finland's cute, fulfilled reviews Killer clowns and land the face Kill him and then outer space Appearance I pass in case Please make eye-continue grave E-A-T

Horror and comedy reviews Hungry Brian from Wings and Stephen King E-A-T Comedy reviews, hungry Brian from Wayne's and Stephen King EMT We live deliciously, bad temperatures, obese Chris Lee come to die A pair of normal active D's from Mr. Roger's city EMT, EMT E.M.G. E.M.G.