Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 518- Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Babies, it's Allen's birthday! Or at least it was about a month ago because we all mess up sometimes. Anyway, please enjoy his pick, the 1948 Universal classic "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein." This may be our first Bela Lugosi (correct me if I'm wrong!) but it's definitely not our first Universal classic. Check out Episode 94- "The Bride of Frankenstein," Episode 135- "Creature from the Black Lagoon," Episode 148- "The Wolf Man," and Episode 207- "The Mummy." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. We're back this month with an action movie voted on by our members and it's sure to be a doozy. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Happy birthday, Alan. Happy birthday to you, Katie. It's only your birthday and it's not even that. Because I'm a bad friend and I forgot, but here we are. I have the longest birthday. I have the longest birthday. It's your birthday month? Sure.

We're in under the wire as of today anyway. Yeah, we're like, what, six days shy. There you go. We did it. I did it. I did. I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend after all.

What do you want for your birthday? To possibly punish you with a movie from 1948. 1948's Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. The year of my birth. The year of your birth. You look great. Thank you. You look so good.

I'm really moving around well. Everyone in this movie's dead. Every, as of 2009, every person credited in this film is dead. 2009? That was a long time ago. Yeah. Remember how you just told me that Rick Okasek

from The Cars died 20 years ago, but it was 2019? Remember how repeatedly over the length and girth of our friendship, I have told you that I have no memory for anything? But you also always correct me, which I appreciate. Still a man, baby. So yeah, it's in the genes, the DNA.

SMDH, DNA. SMDH, that's who that veered into, dino DNA, you know, from Jurassic Park, Mr. Clippy. Is he a paperclip too? No he's a DNA strand. Oh right. That makes so much more sense. In my mind, it was Clippy.

You're just trying to turn everyone into the sexy Clippy Halloween costume. That's the finest costume that ever was, except for sexy Liberty Bridgefire. What about sexy grandma? Sexy grandma was also funny, but not as funny for sexy Liberty Bridgefire. Sexy grandma. Sexy grandma was also funny, but not as funny as sexy Liberty Bridgefire. But sexy grandma was antagonistic as well. Sure. Sexy grandma got out of hand that night. Never to be seen again. Sexy grandma died that night. Rip.

Grandma doesn't take no for an answer. Sexy assault grandma. Yeah. Yeah. So we opened, oh, we're doing Evan Castellamide Frankenstein for my birthday movie. Right. Why this for your birthday movie? So this movie I saw when I was like five or six years old and I fucking loved it.

Thought it was goddamn hilarious. Yeah. Because this is a movie for six year olds because it's just chock-a-block with children jokes. It really is. However, it's consistently on lists of like the funniest movies of all time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I agree. I think it's- I mean, I don't agree, but go on. I think it's one of the best horror comedies ever made. Sure, that might be true. And then subsequently, I have a very vivid memory of a nightmare I had after watching this movie of going into Dracula's castle

and his neck pouring blood all over me. Oh man, that's a very scary dream. That'll stick with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, you had that dream in like 1948, huh? 1948. Oh my God. The year I was born and turned six. 1954.

It ain't even like 1980. We've never been around then. Yeah, that's fair. I'm sure it's a mix of this movie and do you remember Viewmasters? Yes, I do. When you put the little like photo thing and you click it.

And you click it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I When you put the little like photo thing and you click it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a Dracula one of those, which is fucking fantastic. That's pretty dope. Wait, I feel like I had an invisible man one. Is that possible? I'm sure, yeah. Whoa.

The Dracula one looks so cool, and there's a scene in that where they stake Dracula and he turns into a skeleton, except his head is still Dracula. Oh my God. He's fucking terrifying. They stake Dracula and he turns into a skeleton except his head is still Dracula. Oh my God. He's fucking terrifying. I have always had very negative feelings

towards the Invisible Man and I think I had a scary view master about it. Luckily he doesn't show up in this movie. Oh my God, what the fuck? Waving, just waving I feel. And smoking. Smoking. Shouldn't he catch fire?

He seems flammable as fuck. He's fucking invisible, man. I think he's like a gas. I'm thinking, yeah. He's got to be some sort of matter. We should do one of those Invisible Man movies. Oh, man. We haven't done any of them.

I saw the one with the Scientology lady. Yeah. It was a lot of domestic abuse. Yeah, I definitely haven't seen it because it seems brutal. It was brutal. Yeah. I don't want to watch it again. No. It was a lot of domestic abuse. Yeah, that seemed, I didn't even see it because it seems brutal. It was brutal. Yeah. I don't want to watch it again. No.

It was fine. I mean, it was a good movie, but I was like meh. Have you ever seen the OG Invisible Man? Yeah, where the, he blows up that train for no reason. For no reason, I love it so much. It's just like, yeah, you guys are being jerks to me. I'm going to go derail this train. Civilian murder.

Yeah, because my FIFIs are hurt. Oh, so we open on the 10th of July. A civilian murder. Yeah, because my fiefies are hurt. So we open on credits that are this great cartoon. I believe Walter Lance was involved in this, i.e. the person who came up with Woody Woodpecker. Oh, wow. Really a minor character in the pantheon, huh? Of Peckers?

Peckers, yeah. There's Uncle, there's Wood. Yeah. I loved Uncle Peckerhead. It was really good. Oh man, we've got a Woodpecker that every morning when I'm going out, it sounds like a rotary telephone. It's banging on something metal.

Oh no, baby, that's not how you're supposed to do it. They're real dumb. They bang their heads constantly. Yeah, it's true that you can't. I mean, that's not how you're supposed to do it. They're real dumb. They bang their heads constantly. Yeah, it's true that you can't. I mean, that's CTE way to happen, yeah. We get this great like Wolfman, Dracula, the lady, Frankenstein, just walking around on a road or something. Yeah, it's cute.

It's cute. You get the Bela Lugosi opening credit, and you're like, hell yeah, Bela Lugosi's in this. Second and final time he did Dracula. Wow, the iconic and this. Last role he did for a major studio. Really? Yeah, after the suit.

At this point, he was already like a drunk married to a teenager, right? Yeah. If not, I think it wasn't like a morphine addict or something. Opium, I think. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. He was dancing with the sticky lady. Holy shit. As they call it. I mean, I believe that that was really good. Oh, so we get Lon Chaney, Lon fucking Chaney, saddest dude that's ever existed. Tell me more about why he's so sad. Is it the bags under his eyes?

It's the bags. And it's like, he was just in it. His name is not Lon Chaney Jr. No, it's not. Was given that name because like no one would hire him without referencing his father. That's brutal. So he just spent his life living under his father's shadow. Was he a major player in the horror and the universal?

I mean, where? He's the Wolfman. Yeah. I believe he played Dracula and he definitely played Frankenstein. Okay. So he had a good career. Yeah, yeah.

He was in Spider Baby, if you remember that movie. Oh, I do remember. He's the caretaker, the weird caretaker, that's right. And he sings the great Spider Baby theme song. Are you so impressed that I remember that movie we did nine years ago? Of course I am, yeah. Thank you.

Yeah, the movie was fucking fantastic. Oh, so good, so weird. Yeah, and it had the lady from, not House on Haunted Hill, the one who's in the shitty relationship with Vincent Price. Is that House on Haunted Hill? I cannot remember. Yeah, okay. It doesn't matter.

Yeah. So yeah, launching- From Kajonson? Not that House on Haunted Hill. All right. You're thinking of the faculty. You're right. I'm trying to figure out why they gave that poor young man that fucking haircut. He was a heartthrob was Josh Hartnett. It looked like his hair was all backwards.

Yes, it did. And girls were like, oh my god, he's dreamy. What? I'm going to figure out how to finger myself to him. It's not a lot of figuring, Alan. Kind of instinctively, no. This podcast is just going to become all fingering all the time. What else is there to talk about?

Genuinely, the world is burning down around us. Yeah, let's talk about dip it in the honey pot. Dip in the honey pot, says my friend Alan. Fuck, we are, things have gone off the rails. Birthday movie, we get to go banana times. Also I took a very few notes. Oh I took a million notes. Of course you did.

Everything's fine. I was like Alan, it was then that Alan will carry me. So Longchain Jr. is making a phone call to Florida. Yeah. Florida. That's where Dracula and Frankenstein are going. Why are they going to Florida? We've got to go to Florida because that's where a castle is. Cause all the castles are in Florida. Do they have castles in Florida? I mean. Beyond Disney. What? Disneyland, right? World.

World? Land is California, I think. Oh yeah, because it's got Orlando, ORL, and Disneyland is LA. Yes, that's how I can remember. What? Yeah. The ORL in world, Orlando, LA, Disneyland.

What a bunch of fucking pricks. Or fucking genius, and we all should stop flopping that. Yeah, right, Disneyland. What a bunch of fucking pricks. Or fucking genius and we all should stop flopping that. Yeah, right. Fine. One or the other. I can't decide. You haven't taken Lucy there yet, have you? Fuck no!

What am I, made of money, time, patience, and infinite capitalism? No! No shade to anyone who enjoys Disney World. I just feel like I can't fucking, I can barely tie my shoes, you know? I don't even do it anymore. I just slip them on and off. Why would you? I got this year's van slip ons in the mail yesterday.

I'm done with laces. So he's calling Florida because he needs to find out about this delivery that's happening and he needs to stop them from delivering this delivery. So he's gonna call the delivery people. Yeah, who are Lou Costello and Bud Abbott, AKA Wilbur Gray and Chick Young. They are both adorable. So great.

This is your first time encountering these two. I was at first like, which is which. I Googled it. Normally in Abbott and Costello movies, Lou Costello yells, hey Abbott, about 50 times. So you know whom is whom. I see. Or who's on first, i.e. their classic Vaudevillian routine.

Funny guys. Funny guys. Funny guys. I like funny in the bones kind of guys. Like Lou Costello is just like unbelievably impeccable timing on everything. Yeah, funny guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So like he doesn't, he's, I just haven't noticed his Lucasello fucking rips. Hi, this is your wish birthday? Young man, 51. 51st. 51st Alan. We're into 52nd Allen, really. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh man. What will 52 year old Allen think rips? He rips. This dude's dope. Met a Musel. Fucking rips. So yeah, their phone call doesn't connect.

So Lou Costello has to talk to some lady who's there to pick up something. This movie opens on a gag of answer the phone, answer the bell, answer the phone, answer the bell. And I was like, oh, that's what this is. Which one do you want me to answer? Both. Yeah. And meanwhile, his boss is doing nothing.

Right. Um, when he goes up to that lady and she asks for her bag, but she asks her her grip and I had no idea what the fuck that was. Oh yeah. That's just your, your, your handbag. I never heard that before in my life. All right. Start using it. It's good. No. Pass me my grip. Just grip it and rip it if you will. When she asked for her grip and he's like, yeah, let me go get that. Turns to her, sees that she has a stole

with a fox head on it, leans in and goes, huff, huff, and then walks away. And I was like, holy shit, this movie is just me. I am just this film. Barking at this fox head. When his girlfriend shows up. Okay. Did you just think that I know you've seen this since you were a child, but I

was like, oh, they've been together forever. They seem very familiar with one another. No, she just picked him in off the street because he's dumb. That day? Did they meet that day? No, but recently she's she's been, she's been setting this up. This is the long con. Can we talk about the pants that he's wearing really quickly?

Which ones? The ones that are on his nipples? Those are the ones. Or the ones that are insanely baggy? The most high-waisted pants I've ever seen in my life. They both are wearing it. Their ties are like six inches long. Yeah, they are very wide and very short.

And they're touching the top of their belts. It's ridiculous. It is banana times. I hope that fashion never comes back. I don't know. I kind of feel like it lets a man be rotund. I guess, but I'm a fat man who just wears pants that go right under my tum tum.

There you go. Whatever works for you, I guess. Who am I to tell you what fat men should wear? So his lady friend shows up, Sandra. Yeah, she's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Apparently, uh, she is, uh, what did I just read? Uh, Hugh Hefner's favorite actress. And this is one of his favorite films. Of course that me and the half, you and the half, you are on a wavelength in this scene.

She does not have an accent right now. No, no, no, no, no accent yet. No, no. She really falls into that later. And she's one of those human beings that with her hair up, she looks like a completely different person than when her hair's down. Yeah. I did have a moment of, is that her? So she's flirting with him and Chick cannot understand what's happening here.

She does, he does not know what she sees in him. He says, I don't get it. And she looks at him and says, and you never will. And I believed it. I believed it. I felt stupid. I believed it. She's a classy dish as, uh, Chick says, please start incorporating grip and dish into your, no one will ever call me a classy dish in my life. Oh man. I want to be like a hearty dish. Is that possible? I would just feel really full after I've been with Alan for a while.

Stick to your ribs kind of man. I'm just like grandma's biscuits. So cozy. When, when Chick tells Wilbur to take a look in the Yeah, so nice, so cozy. When Chick tells Wilbur to take a look in the mirror, he says, why should I hurt my own feelings? Which is great fucking advice that I really ought to take. Why should you hurt your own feelings? Why should I? You shouldn't.

I'm fucking doing it though. Do you live like Lou Costello, died about 56? Okay, check. So this guy, McDougal shows up. McDougal's House of Horrors. I feel like you'd come up with something better, but all right. Oh my God, I love a House of Horrors so much.

I know you do. And whenever I hear House of Horrors, I think about C.C. DeVille on, what was that? The Surreal Life? Do you remember that show on VH1? I remember Surreal Life. I feel like Corey Feldman was always on it.

He may have been. There was one season that had MC Hammer, and one season had Vanilla Ice. Who's C.C. DeVille? C.C. DeVille was a guitar player for Poison. Oh. And he talks like this? Poison was all up in those VH1 shows.

Rock of Love was truly the greatest three season, the greatest trilogy of television I've ever watched. At the end of season three, there's a close-up pan and he just takes the hat off. No, leave him be. He's got a bandana on. It's fine. In that, the surreal life, in this like thick Brooklyn accent, CC DeVille says,

it was a house of whores that turned into a house of whores. Oh, very funny. So yeah, he needs to pick up his boxes. One of the crates is 73 feet tall. Yes, it is, but it's fine, we'll take it. And for chubby men, Lou Costello can fucking hustle. He can move. Yeah, he's got fast little legs. Yeah, gets up there, gets on top of the box, then a stunt performer standing on top of the box.

This stunt where he's on top of the crates is unnerving because it feels really unsafe. Like, it feels like he got a lucky. This is back in the day when people just died on movies. Yeah, totally. Like you ever seen Ben Hur? There's a legitimate death on screen. During one of the racing scenes. Oh, somebody gets run over by a chariot. And they're like, yeah, leave it. That movie sucks.

Ben Hur. Yeah. 27 days long. What are you even trying to tell me? What's the, forget it. Ben Hur should just be someone who's kind of drunk telling you that they've been here before. Oh, I've been here. I've been here before. It's like talking about going to Sandcastle. Oh, I've been here.

I've been here, Sandcastle. Down here on Amman. Hey, good enough, one slide? It's just ranch dressing. Rude. Alan has been writing me about ranch dressing all day long. I've never writing you. I just experienced what a Pittsburgh will do with ranch dressing.

It is a humbling experience. It's not me. I want to be super clear. It was not you. No, no, no. They do fucking love ranch dressing, though. What else are you gonna dip fries in? Ketchup is for children.

The buffet I was at had two separate ranch stations. I love that. Stations. At the Carnegie Science Center in the food court, they have those like big tubs where you push down condiments and they have ketchup, mustard and ranch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ketchup mustard and what are you a fucking pussy? So he's here to pick up the remains of Dracula and Frankenstein, which he's bragging about having. He is, he had somehow got them for a deal. Yeah. Yeah. For a song. For a song. But he has them heavily about having. He's, he somehow got them for a deal. Yeah, yeah, for a song. For a song, but he has them heavily insured. Yeah. Which I don't understand why the insurance company is insuring them for more than what he paid for them,

but that's just bad business. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. There's a line in this scene between Lucas Delo and McDougal when McDougal, Lucas Delos says, I am a union man. I work 16 hours a day. And McDougal says, union men work eight hours a day.

And Lucas Delos goes, I'm into unions. I belong to two unions. That's so stupid and I love it so much. Oh, Alan, you were right about this being an insight into your spirit. So for some reason, the two guys that work at mailbox, et cetera, also have to deliver the boxes. Yeah, they are. They seem, I thought they were just unloading like buses

and trains at a depot. Yeah. Yeah, but they're also delivering them to McDougal's House of Horrors. Which we've been told they shouldn't deliver the crates until Talbot arrives. That's Lon Chaney, Jr. But then he starts growling and there's a full moon or something. Hey, mister, you need to get your dog off the phone. Look at this guy calling me with his dog growling at me. You like that? So funny. Oh Alan, what a delightful human being you are.

I laughed this entire fucking movie. Of course you did. You probably know it line for line. Oh man, it's, no, luckily I'd have the shit memories every time it was a fresh experience. Like a goldfish. So they get to the house of whores and it's, it's creeping Wilbur out. He's very scared. Yeah.

Cause there's like executioners and such. He says, I'm cheating him. I'm getting scared for nothing, which I did like, you know, I like getting your money's worth. I mean, just imagine the amount of cigar smoke and martinis that were involved in writing this movie. Can't even imagine. I don't want either of those things,

but I kind of want both these things just to be in that room while this is happening. Frankly, I love a dirty gin martini. Oh, Rihanna do you? Oh, I do. What makes it dirty? Olive juice. Ah.

Brine. I'm just thinking the olives, is that possible? Love olives. I would like some tonic water and olives, please. And hold the tonic water. Just a glass full of olives. I'd like a Bloody Mary. Hold the tomato juice, vodka and celery stick. Pickle please. Oh yeah. Always a pickle.

I have another says, I wonder if this is part of why I love wax houses of horror. I bet it is. So Wilbur opens the crate while Chick goes outside. He's reading this Dracula's legend plaque. Did that get delivered with the Dracula or did McDougal get that printed up? He already had it ready and waiting.

Got it. And who is inside Dracula's coffin? Who? Bella fucking Lugosi. It is Bella fucking Lugosi. I mean, if you're gonna get Dracula. Get the Dracula. The Dracula. Yeah, fucking Legosi. I mean, if you're gonna get Dracula. Get the Dracula. The Dracula.

Yeah, he looks great. He does, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, this would be what? Like 12 years after the original, maybe more. When was that? 36. 36, something like that. You had 12 years. Yeah, yeah, still looking great.

So is or is not Monster Squad a hat tip to this movie with Dracula gathering all the monsters to him? Oh sure, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And I think that's also in maybe House of Frankenstein or one of those too. Okay.

But yeah, for sure this movie definitely has an influence on that. For sure. And one of the bad guys is secretly your friend. Yeah. So I love the scene where he's trying to whistle for chick and he just keeps going onto his fingers, which is very funny. Also love the Dracula sneaks away when chicks coming into the room.

Yeah. Dracula has a real invisibility to him in this film that he absolutely would not have if it were not. There's also, I was reading some quote from Lugosi about this and he's like, I just really loved it that they respected Dracula. They're like, it's not just cheap laughs and scares. And I was like, it did they? Because you're kind of a boob. He's definitely a boob. Yeah. Just like out here doing science. Yeah. Just doing things. Just doing experiments. It's very cute. I love the animation of the bat turning into Dracula from behind. I think it's so good. Have we already seen the transformation of the Wolfman yet?

Yes, we have. When you have a big, did the phone call. Yeah. It is very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like still shot after still shot, like a flip book. I can't remember if Jack Pierce was doing this or not, but that's how they did it in the OG too. And I've always been blown away that he's like,

they're able to reposition him every time in the exact position they need him to be. Yeah, no tech, no tech for that kind of thing. No tech, just stop the camera, start the camera. Very cool. Dracula pretends to be a wax figure and then sneaks back into his own coffin while Chick is lambasting Wilbur the entire time.

And then they open Frankenstein's crate and hilarity ensues. That's basically the rest of this movie. And the end, thank you so much for coming out. Why does Dracula's ring have a power source that can reanimate Frankenstein? I don't know. I like the little like lightning bolts

that happen when he does it though. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Dracula is possessed of power. And we get George Strange as Frankenstein. Yeah. Which I believe is the third time that he was Frankenstein.

As well he should be. He's a great Frankenstein. You all might know him as the bartender on Gunsmoke. That's what it might be what you're thinking of when you see George Strange. Oh, I'm sorry. Just a second there. Ugh.

What were you saying? Frankenstein woke up? Riz. Riz. Uh. I was listening to a contemporary hip hop group the other day called, oh fuck, what are they called? It's gonna be a barbershop quartet, isn't it?

They're doing the hips and the hops. No, if you can't remember it, you get no cred move on. They're the Irish, Irish rap group that just played a Coachella and seemed pretty cool. River dance. River dance. Okay. You got it. You got it. I'm sure they're cool. I don't know either. That's why I'm rushing this joke. We meet the insurance investigator. Yeah. Who I was like so impressed that this lady had a powerful corporate job at

first in 1948, like unfucking heard of, but it turns out she's just there to seduce Wilbur. Yeah. Which is a real bummer to me. I mean, you needed those honeypots to go in there and seduce your Wilbur. I mean, women had been voting for less than three decades when this came out. So I guess still could never credit card. Yeah, no, not for these women.

Never got credit cards. These actors, you know, and luckily she's not just here to fall in love with somebody else in the film either. Great. So I love the scene of Dracula being like, all right, we gotta go, Frankenstein, grab my casket and we're walking out of here. Oh man.

And next we see Dracula, he's flying around this castle looking at a guy doing science. Can I ask a question? Please. Does Dracula not pick up his casket and go? I mean like Dracula or excuse me, Frankenstein pick up Dracula's casket and go. Yeah, he walks out. Yeah. So he's already obeying Dracula. So why do they need Wilbur's brain? Yep. Okay. Yeah. Uh huh. Uh huh. If you start pulling any threads on this sweater. Yeah, you're right. Okay. All. Uh-huh. If you start pulling any threads on this sweater, Yeah, you're right. Okay. All right. All right.

I'm going to bark at your stole. What if I was wearing shorts, a t-shirt that says, keep Pittsburgh shitty and a stole, a stole. It's hot out. I would love that for both of us. If you were doing that. Me too. Maybe I should get a stole. Yeah. Get into the stole biz. Yeah. And she get like a goofy, obviously fake one with like googly eyes. Tell me I won't.

So yes. Yeah. Frecklesite is already his minion. Yeah. So he's okay. So whatever. We learned that both of these women are trying to seduce Wilbur. Yeah. For different means. Yeah. And they're, it's both work. It's working for both of these women are trying to seduce Wilbur. Yeah. In order for different means. Yeah. And they're, it's both work. They're, it's working for both of them. Yes. Yeah.

Dr. Mournay, AKA Sandra has studied Dr. Frankenstein's book about bringing people back from the dead. Right. And so she's going to give the monster a new brain, but they're going to give it a like dumb brain. So it's cool and doesn't do weird mean shit. And while she's explaining this,

she now has an Eastern European accent that she doesn't have at the beginning of the movie. And I was like, Oh, that's cool. She's like doing an accent for Wilbur. But then when she sees Wilbur again, she's Eastern European. Okay. All right. Just checking. I'm just checking on these. That note didn't come from the studio until this part of the movie. What kind of accent can she do? What are they going to do? Reshoot things? I don't think so.

Fuck no, those are shot. We see Wilbur and Chick, who apparently live together in a hotel. It's a hotel? I think so. Why else would Talbot be living there? I didn't know if it was just like an apartment building, but I'm gonna believe it's a hotel.

Yeah, why would he be there? He's just coming in from London. What are these coworkers who one of them obviously hates the other one live together? Yes. It seems to be like a subordinate and a supervisor too. That seems unwise. Listen, if you've got a friend who keeps telling you

that you're too ugly to be with these pretty ladies, stop hanging out with them. And then asks for one of them. Doesn't care which, but just one of them. I have a note here. It says, if I had two cigarettes, I'd give Alan one. Cause I know you can just give it back to me and then I can snook it. I'll hold that for you. You don't want that. Especially now that I'm not drinking. No, I know.

So yeah, so they're, they're hanging out and Talbot shows up and he's like, hey, I need you to lock me in my room. Just be cool. It's not a weird thing for someone to ask somebody else to do. Right, totally chill. And they're like, of course, of course we will. Makes total sense.

Why wouldn't we do that? When they find him again, his room is trash. He says, years ago, I was bitten by a werewolf and on the full moon, I become a werewolf. But this is the second time he's become a werewolf, like in the last couple of days. Yeah, don't worry. It's gonna happen again in the next couple of days.

It sure will. The moon cycle in Florida is bananas. I mean, something with the tides? Yeah. Question mark? That's why Ron DeSantis. Yeah. Obviously, Marco Rubio. Oh god. I know. So, yeah, I love to see where he goes to check on Talbot and then steals an orange

and then walks out and goes, yeah, maybe he counted them. And I was like, this is close to the depression. Yeah, it's true. So they're all going to go to a masquerade ball. The woman, the insurance woman, what is her name, Jane? She's like, Joan. Joan. She's like, I haven't been to a masquerade ball in ages. How common were masquerade balls?

All the rage. Everywhere? Yeah, when I was a kid, just masquerade ball after masquerade ball in 1948. Thought you would remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know how often they happened, but apparently in this particular part of the world.

They were pretty common. Every, cause it doesn't. In Florida. Yeah, it doesn't seem to be a holiday around this. No, no. Is it one of them eyes wide shut parties? I never seen that movie. No me either, but I know they wear masks. So that's it. Is that an action movie? Just kidding. Please don't make us watch that. I would rather gouge my eyes out and swallow them whole.

That's where I'm at in my life right now. Do I want to see Nicole Kidman fucking? Maybe. Do I want to see Tom Cruise fucking? Absolutely not. I can do without both. Yeah, sure. Sure.

But if you got to pick one. I don't though. That's the thing. I can just not watch Eyes of White shut. Katie! But then I watch Eyes of White shut. Katie! But then I watch Days of Thunder and it's both of them. Fuck! I think they probably fucking that movie too.

They do. Yeah, yeah. I know, we did it on this very podcast. We did, Roman is racing. Robert Duvall, you fucking prince. So Miss Raymond now kisses Wilbur and he's all like. He's like practically doing the Pepilipio with his body. It's very good.

100%. He's so good at being just physical and ridiculous. Yeah. He knows what he looks like, you know what I mean? Yeah, and he uses it. Yeah. I think he was like a clown for a while. Yeah, that checks.

Yeah, he was also a construction worker for a while, which doesn't check, but I believe it. No, yeah. I just have a note that says their pants are so high. So high. And after Ms. Raymond leaves, they're like, it's mid day. And they're like, Oh shit, we forgot about Talbot. They're just so focused on ladies. And like, just a real poon hounds. Abbott is like, oh, just a real poon hounds. Abbott is like doing this like Mary fuck kill with an imaginary third woman.

I just don't. The whole thing is very weird. The way women are treated in this movie is awful. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I get it. 1948. Remember in the Wolfman where he's like, we're going to go on a date tonight.

And the woman's like, absolutely not. I'm doing something else. I'll pick you up at eight. And then he shows up at eight and they go and do things. She just agrees, she just does it. Get the fuck out of here. It's like all those fucking interstitials in When Harry Met Sally that are just like,

and I went to her work every day and I browbeated down until she went out with me. We've been married for 67 years, I hated every day of it. Oh, what choices we make. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway, women. Someone delivers the line, mine has so much bridge work that every time I kissed her

I had to pay a toll. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That's terrible. That's good fucking comedy. Oh my God. Jesus fucking comedy. Oh my God. Jesus fucking Christ. High comedy truly. Oh my God.

They end up at Dracula's house to pick up Sandra. Why is she at Dracula's house? She lives there. Okay. That's Dr. Morey's house. Right. Or Morne's house. He didn't know she was a doctor.

This is where I realized they didn't actually know each other. Because Stevens, Professor Stevens. What the fuck is he doing there? Can you explain Professor Stevens? I assumed he was a bad guy too. He's not, as far as I could tell. He's really stupid.

The Dr. Mornay Institute is for evil science and legit science. She has like two programs simultaneously. Two wings. The two shall never meet. Cause he's like, oh, you're here to see Dr. Mournay? And he's like, who's that? Oh, Sandra.

Is it not the Mournay Institute? Oh man. But this movie, this fucking castle is everything. Secret doors, a fucking boat dock in the basement. I was thinking that looked like a real Millvale basement. That's a super Pittsburgh reference for, uh, for nobody on this. No, no toilet down there. No, it's true. Well, you couldn't tell the water is pretty high.

It's true. It's true. Um, it's a Florida basement, I guess. It doesn't have basement. There are no basements in Florida, right? I think they're below. Well, I don't know. I don't think so. Yeah. Because below the water table. Yeah. Although it wasn't that crawl movie. How was that? That was set down. Oh, I think that was Florida. I wonder if I made this argument then too and then probably Googled this. I believe you did. It does feel familiar. Yeah, no basements are uncommon in Florida. Sure. But so are Dracula's castle. I mean, you'd think, you think you don't know that. This whole fucking scene where there's the secret door that spins around like the fireplace in Indiana Jones and the last crusade and they're like just like one time chick and Wilbur will be on the wall and then the next time around Frankenstein, Dracula and Dracula's

coffin will be on the wall spinning around. Why though? And hide their business. Yeah, I guess so. It just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Um, with the whole scene with like him sitting on Frankenstein's lap, that made me feel very uncomfortable. When he couldn't, he,

he sits down and he's like leaning and thinking and he looks down and he sees Frankenstein hands, Frankenstein's hand where he thinks his hand should be. Moves his hand, which he doesn't see moving because it's Frankenstein's hand. And then hits it and is surprised that he's not hurt. So stupid. You like it though. I do very much though. Sorry, I interrupted you.

No, please, this is your fucking movie. Sandra and Joan are suspicious of each other. Sure, as they should be. Absolutely, they are, game recognized game, as they say. Exactly. They go through each other's things where Joan finds Dr. Frankenstein's notebook. Yeah.

And Sandra finds like her insurance guy badge. Insurance inspector. Insurance inspector. I love the idea of let's go powder on noses as a pretense to investigate each other. Yeah, let's look through your shit. Yeah, and I was like, I've always wondered what ladies do when they all go to the bathroom together.

Are they just investigating each other? No, we're all taking massive dumps. Cause like we can't do it when dudes are around, right? Cause women don't poop. So we do it together. We all just sit down and it's just an absolute shit show. In the finest sense of the word. Dracula comes out as Dr. Lejos. Want to tell me about that name? I don't know nothing about

that name. I just wanted to know if you knew anything about that name. Cause why would he be Lejos? I was like, wait, no, no, you can't scrabble that up to spell Dracula. Dr. Acula was sitting right there for you all. Oh man. I loved young people doing things. I loved that. I was like, in what world are any of these people young? It's true.

So Sandra is just like, I'm not gonna go, I'm not gonna do this, I'm out. Yeah, she thinks that it's not safe for them. Right. Because Joan is investigating, yeah. But then of course, Dracula hypnotizes her. Yeah, he does do that. And then he goes in for a little nibble on her as well. No, Sandra's a vampire.

Yeah. I mean, you play with fire. You get singed, baby. You get bit? You get bit. McDougal is at the masquerade party. Who and why? Why is he invited?

Whose masquerade party is it? Apparently all of Florida is invited? Whose masquerade party is it? Apparently all of Florida is invited to this masquerade party. Is it like the town festival, town fair sort of thing? I don't know. Very little information is given. They just, we're moving to the next scene. You're either coming with us

or you're gonna turn this movie off and walk away right now. Those are truly the only options, so let's keep trudging forward. McDougall starts manhandling fucking Wilbur, throwing him around, tossing him off. Yeah. And then, uh, is this after they've been to jail? Oh yeah. Yeah. They were in jail like years ago. Okay, great. All right, go on. Before they met Talbot, they were in jail. Right, right, right.

Joan is the one who bails them out. Right. Okay. Got it. Gone. Because she saw Wilbur and was immediately horned up on her. She says, do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah. Which is so stupid. And she's like, I do. And she's like, I do too. I fell in love with him. I do like the scene where McDougal throws Lucas Tello up against the wall and then Bud Abbott's like, Hey, we need a witness for this. Hold on. Do that again. And then the guy who's witnessing is wearing a full knight's armor and his lid kept clothing and he doesn't see anything. I like that actually. It's good. It's a good joke.

clothing and he doesn't see anything. I like that actually. It's good. It's a good joke. They got a lock of Talbot up again. He needs to be locked up again for some reason because it's still a full moon as we know Florida full moons. That's what I call a menstrual cycle, a Florida full moon, cause it lasts like five to seven days. And you never know when it's going to show up in the sky. Exactly.

Who can say? And in Florida, you're probably wearing white shorts when it happens. Oh, so inconvenient. Then you have to borrow your boyfriend's flannel shirt to cover it up. Yeah, dude. So, Dracula and Sandra show up. He's staring into Sandra's eyes. He sees flapping bats. Doesn't seem to faze him. He's fine Dracula and Sandra show up, he's staring into Sandra's eyes, he sees flapping bats, doesn't seem to faze him.

He's fine with that. Yeah, that's nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they're wondering where Joan is, so they're gonna go and try and find Joan in the swamps of Florida. Right, where is Joan? She's been taken by Dracula. Maybe.

What do you mean? Maybe Dracula has taken her. He's hypnotized her and taken her and sat her in a boat. Right. He's going to take her to the island. I assume to feed on her. I guess I'm very much reeling from having seen the horniest vampire ever last week to now this week, like a Dracula who is tepid at best. He doesn't want to bite people. He wants to do science. Which it has to just be for the, the, the, to see if he can because it's not serving him any purpose. This is a real could versus should situation for Dracula.

It absolutely is. But apparently Frankenstein is like losing juice. So that's part of the reason that he's getting the new ring. He'll sometimes jump the battery with his ring. Yeah. I guess that's why he let Lucas Delos sit on his lap for so long. I guess so. Oh man.

So yes, Joan has disappeared. sit on his lap for so long. I guess so. Oh man. So yes, Joan has disappeared. Yeah. And Sandra is getting, trying to get Wilbur out into the swamp, the woods, what the fuck is this place? It's a swamp. Swamps. And he's now, now he's onto her. Yeah, because she's trying to hypnotize him

and he's been hypnotized before. He's not falling for that. He's too smart for that? He's too smart for it. He's got brains. Everybody wants his brains. That's partially true. And it should also be noted that for this masquerade ball,

Chick had a like paper mache werewolf mask that he was gonna wear. And he's wearing the exact same outfit as Talbot. Yes, but he's also eight inches shorter and about, I don't know, 75 pounds later. And his pants are like 17 inches taller. There's no way you would confuse the two. No, no, he's balding.

They look nothing alike. But now Talbot has become the wolf man again. Yeah, and he's chasing people around. He's chasing around McDougal, which is fine. Bites that McDougal on the fucking trope. He does. McDougal though, accuses Chick. Yeah, for being mad at him for putting him in jail.

Right, which fair. Sure, yeah. I don't think you can be put in jail for a mistake like that at your job. Losing a package? No, I don't think so. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless you like, they can prove that you stole.

It doesn't feel like a crime. They don't have to prove it until you get a court, right? So they can put you in jail. I just don't think they would. Yeah, it's true. I'm really gonna leave that mailboxes, et cetera, short staffed. I hope there's a second shift or else the place is fucked.

That's what I'm saying. They're just going off on their little adventures after they leave the hotel room that they share. When they're just trying to swap lady friends around. Not trying to, one of them is, one of them isn't. Any dish will do. I just wanna fuck. So Chick gets hypnotized here.

Yeah. Yeah. By Dracula? Yep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then what happens, Alan? So Chick gets hypnotized here. Yeah. By Dracula? Yep. And then what happens, Alan? Is this when Dracula turns into a bat? I don't know. Is this when Chick finds Joan and Sandra on the boat? At this point in the movie, I have to say I was a bit checked out.

There's just a lot of running around the swamp. And for some reason, Wilbur started referring to Frankenstein as junior. That happens in the last like eight scenes of the film. Not before. It's very funny. It took me a moment to realize he was referring to the Frankenstein monster. Because Wilbur's been hypnotized. They've taken him back to the castle.

He's in stocks in the castle, but like standing up in stocks. Not that over. Yeah, it's weird. And he's calling Frankenstein Jr. and it tells him to get him out of the stocks. All right, hey, Jr. Meanwhile, Sandra's gonna just do some brain surgery on him. Yeah, yeah.

She knows what she's doing, I guess. She knocks out Stevens because she doesn't want him getting involved. What the fuck is Stevens doing? What is his day to day? Because he's at the masquerade ball too, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And trying to like dip on Sandra on a Joan the whole time. I mean, really, they'd have made a cute couple. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They tell Wilbur that they won his brain and he says, I've had this brain for 30 years and it hasn't, it hasn't done me any good or it hasn't worked right. 30 years, 30 years, 30 years. I mean, it's possible. Like smoking does a hell of a thing. I want to see how old he actually was in this film. Lou Costello, born 1906. So he's 42. Yeah. Like you said, 30 years. Yep. Nowadays, he'd be putting him in a goddamn high school movie.

Seriously. Oh my God. He's only five foot five. Yeah. He's a tiny little guy. I mean, he's a big strong guy. For sure. Do we still stand a short king? Of course.

I'm sorry to have said that while I was yawning, but I couldn't stop myself from saying of course when it comes to standing a short king. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so Talbot and Chick find Wilbur. They get him loose. He's, oh, by the way, Talbot's not Wolfman again for some unknown reason.

He can, he's, it's, yeah, back and forth with him. Is it daylight now? Maybe it only happens in the dark? No, because Dracula's out and running around. Oh, yeah, you're right. Who can say? Yeah. So then Wilbur gets Dracula again.

He gets hypnotized again. That's right. And they're gonna do the operation. And then there's like a fight between Dracula and the boys and Sandra. Talbot becomes the wolf man again. Frankenstein wakes up. Why does he become, okay, all right.

Frankenstein throws Sandra out a window. He sure does. So a little fact I know about this, is that at this point, so they're doing this thing and it's George Strange as Frankenstein. And he throws her out the window, but she's on a, she's on ropes, so he can lift her and throw her.

And for some reason it like snags and she comes right back at him so he tries to catch her and when he does he breaks his foot. Oh my God. He twists his foot and breaks his foot. So the person who's actually throwing her is Lon Chaney Jr. as Frankenstein. Oh, how about that? Yeah.

Wow, that's a really dangerous stunt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you get thrown out a fucking window. There's a scene where they barricade themselves stunt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, threw out a fucking window. There's a scene where they barricade themselves in a, using a bed in a bedroom and of course the door opens the other way. Don't fake laugh. You real laughed at it. You don't have to pretend you're like you're better than it all of a sudden.

Uh, Dracula and the Wolfman fall off of the castle into the water. Is this where Dracula has been a bat? Dracula's a bat now maybe? Yeah. He grabs him as a bat and jumps out a window. Yeah. Rip. Took himself out.

Took himself out. It's like Frankenstein at the end of Monster Squad. He sacrifices himself for Phoebe. 100%. Oh, same movie. Oh, Phoebe he sacrifices himself for Phoebe. 100%. Oh, same movie. Oh, Phoebe. Phoebe the Feeb. I call my dog Scraps because of that movie.

Great movie, great dog name. Yeah, especially for a dog that looks like it's been put together from a bunch of other dogs. Yeah, your dog's weird looking. I still wish you named her Miller time. She just wouldn't answer to it, I tried. So Joan and Stevens are going to burn Frankenstein. And unlike every other incarnation of Frankenstein,

this one walks directly into fire. Yeah, he is not only flammable, but very, very stupid. And then for the coup de grace, they're going to kill you with fucking hilarity at the end of this movie. Oh my God. Abbot and Costello are on a rowboat watching Frankenstein walk into his own fiery death. Doing a whole like I was right thing. Yes.

Yeah. And you see a cigarette lift up and light itself. Yep. And then the invisible man is in the boat with them. Who voices the invisible man? You tell me. Vincent fucking Price. Sure is. Love that guy.

Hate that character. What else could you ask for in a film, Katie? It sounds like we're moving to the ratings phase. It does sound like we're moving to the ratings phase. This is your thing, you tell me. I mean, this is a fucking 10. This is a 10 out of 10 as David J. Skoll in the short documentary that I watched yesterday about that,

meet Frankenstein, uh, said, this is the funniest horror comedy ever made. It's certainly a pioneer for me. They made a ton of them after this, didn't they? I think they meet the, the mummy for sure. And like the invisible man, maybe. Yeah. They did a ton of the, I think they even meet Boris Karloff. I think they do. I think I've read that. Yeah.

I have a bunch of them downstairs that are all the rest of them are trash. This one is the only one that's really fun. Yeah, it's fine. So 10 out of 10. Yeah. 10 out of 10. Yeah. Is that what you're giving it as well? No. Um, I'm going to, no, no, no, no. Did you think I might? No, this is, um, given this one 51 more years of Alan valid to 51 more. 51 more years. Yeah. you've got it in you. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, you're, you're ready for it.

Ready to face the day. Fuck yeah, I do. Yeah. Oh, well, thank you for bestowing upon me this weird gift. Katie, what have we done 1995's Night of the Scarecrow? Have we? I don't know. I've had a bunch of people suggesting that we do that, that that could be our Scarecrow movie.

Thank you, Amber, who recently wrote in saying, also, Katie, have you tried 1995's Dark Night of the Scarecrow? Not to be confused with Dark Night of the Scarecrow. I'm never going to stop finding this movie for you. I'm committed. No, we've only done Dark Night of the Scarecrow, not to be confused with Dark Night of the Scarecrow. I'm never going to stop finding this movie for you. I'm committed. No, we've only done Dark Night of the Scarecrow from 1981. So what I'm thinking here is in honor of Amber, in honor of you, more importantly to me, Amber, I think you're fantastic. Amber, I don't think you should let him talk to you like this.

Katie's like my ride or die if I fully understand what that means. I don't think you do, but talk to you like this. Katie's like my ride or die. For sure. If I fully understand what that means. I don't think you do, but I am it anyway. All right, let's give it a shot. I believe it's available on YouTube. Oh, good. This is Night of the Scarecrow 1995. You think a lot of people have reached out about this one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

A number of people have reached out. And I may have been like, no, we already did Dark night of the scarecrow. And they're like, you're actually illiterate. What if this is it? I mean, the timing sounds right. Let me, let me look up a quick plot summary. And I did check on our, on werewolfambulance.com and made sure that we had not done just night

of the scarecrow. Yeah. I just looked again. Definitely not there. Wait, Steven Rood is in this and Dirk Blocker is in this? What? Okay, I think I would remember that, but I'm excited to find out.

But would you have remembered it in? No, absolutely not. Yeah. So, Night of the Scarecrow, 1995. All right, we'll find out. Amber, thank you for writing in for that. Thanks everyone who's written in for that. Sorry that we've been so dismissive of you All right, we'll find out. Amber thank you for writing in for that. Thanks everyone who's written in for that.

Sorry that we've been so dismissive of you and we only listen to Amber because we like her the best. I mean, Amber is the color of my energy. If you ever want to watch four middle-aged dudes so stoked to have anyone paying attention to them, please watch the 311 Tiny Desk Concert. I bet that's great. Wow, you know who would love that? Friend of the podcast, Barry, who occasionally just walks by you and says, Cheal.

The only, didn't he ironically walk himself into being a 311 fan? He absolutely did. And then he was like, this ain't so bad. You're wrong. It's terrible. It's one of the worst things I've ever heard. Leave it to Perry. Let him be happy.

What if our alternative rock was like shitty white boy Reagan? You're breaking his fucking heart right now. And Perry, I want to say that these opinions that Alan is espousing do not represent the views of everyone in Werewolf Ambulance. Amber is the color of my energy. Yes. Fucking chill, man. There's worse shit in the world. The Grateful Dead exists. 100%. So if you want to come back for more talk about the Grateful Dead in 311, probably don't listen to this podcast. Stop it. Stop it.

We got. Come back next week for Night of the Scarecrow. Night of the Scarecrow. Maybe it will be the one. Maybe we'll learn that the one never existed. But what if it is, like, I feel like if it's the one, we just have to stop, right? Like it's become our holy grail.

It's a side quest. It is absolutely a side quest. It's true, side quest. Lawrenceville side quest. It is absolutely a side quest. It's true, side quest. Lawrenceville side quest. It's like when we did that like Titanic diversion. It was just a side quest. So I'm gonna recently ask that we do that again with like another movie.

I would love to. What's a long ass movie that I don't wanna watch all of? Braveheart. I will never watch Braveheart. I made a promise to myself and I made a promise to you. Try again. Suggest a long ass movie that we should do in chunks and try to explain to each other. Schindler's List. Yes, let's belittle Schindler's List. Here's the thing. I would really like for it to be a movie that we have both seen so that we can do the pre-episode where we talk about what we think happened in the movie. Oh, Sure. Cause remember we did that for Titanic and

ended up that we were wrong about everything. That was really fun. Well, it was pandemic times. Oh yeah. I was lost our fucking minds. That's a really fun way to lose your mind though. Sure. Yeah. I mean, compared to all the ways that other people were losing their minds. Yeah, we did great. We did great. We did. All right. Uh, so come back for another scarecrow. It's on YouTube. Don't tell YouTube that we told you that. And we love you when we think you're great.

Yeah, we love you when we think you're great and be kind to each other. And thank you for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye-bye. Ooh. Ambulance. Bye.

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