Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 520- Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings (1994)

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

This week concludes our spontaneous Jeff Burr rock block with the 1994 sequel "Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings." Special topics for your consideration include: inexplicable relationships between practically all of the characters, terrible teens of yesteryear, consistency in the Burr-iverse, extremely recognizable tits, and the age-old question of "are we still all Pumpkinhead? A little bit?" It's been ages since we talked Pumpkinhead, all the way back to the original in Episode 57. At least we watched them in the right order? The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. We're back this month with "Mortal Kombat" and truly, it's everything you could dream of. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.comif you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

The only thing I remember about Pumpkinhead is nothing. What? But I do know that I have a mug that a listener sent me that says we are all pumpkin head a little bit. That's a thing you said. Yeah. You know, after watching this movie, I went back and read the Wikipedia synopsis for pumpkin head one.

Yeah. We are all pumpkin head a little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I always think of the kids running around the little kid who eventually gets killed and is the like inciting incident for the leather man to do his thing.

Is that what you're calling Lance Hendricks in these? Yeah, he's made of leather. He's taut. He's so ropy. What's the opposite of theuck? Ropy, ropy. Rapey. Rapey.

When the little kids, the young street urchin, hillbilly kids are running around going, pumpkin head. That's very good. We don't get that in this movie though. It gives you everything else you could possibly desire in a film. I mean, this movie's really kind of got it all. It's got everything. It's got everything, including a lot of tropes of last week's movie.

Also a Jeff Burr and here in our Jeff Burr rock block. Not produced by Steven White though. No, this was produced, the company that put this out was live entertainment. And I thought, but why it is a film. I think it's because we see Linnea Quigley's titties later on, like live nudes. Thank you so much. I recognized her tits before I recognized her. I was like, I know those tits.

That's Linnea Quigley. Did you ever know that you're my hero? I'm your protege, please. No, no, I was thinking that to Linnea Quigley. Oh, I thought, to me, perhaps just to her tits. She's a fucking hero, man. This movie, this is Pumpkin Head 2. Pumpkin Head 2. Blood Wings. Sorry, parenthetical blood wings. She's a fucking hero man. So we this is pumpkin head to pumpkin

Parenthetical blood wings which is said once in the film I Mean the titular blood wings. Yeah, I honestly I thought the blood wings looked pretty good I don't understand their purpose, but I thought they looked pretty good. There's a lot. I don't understand about this taught thriller of a film. Taut like Lance Henriksen's body. Iggy poppy and body. Iggy poppy and film. Oh my, if you could convince me that Lance Henriksen and Iggy Pop just shared a body.

I've never seen the two of them together. Have you, no, no. They're both very ropy. So ropy, talented in their own ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie opens on flames. Flames. Flames and like cop jazz.

Yeah, cop jazz. A little bit of Dick Wolf for you. What a name, Dick Wolf. Dick Wolf. Only to be topped by Wolf Blitzer. Have you ever seen that tattoo on the internet of a woman who has a butthat that just says created by Dick Wolf in that font?

No, but I love her. Very good. I don't like to say tramp stamp, but I'm going to say it because I feel like not everybody knows what a butthat is. Sure, sure. If you're going to get a tramp stamp, it might as well say created by Dick Wolf. That's all. I've heard grosser names for those tattoos.

So what target? Why would you aim for? Oh, no, I get it now. I'm like, well, you're already raw dog in, you know, make a baby. Maybe I live in Pennsylvania. We got a long time. So yeah, we get that. We got a long time. So yeah, we get that. We get the cop jazz. We get the, like the, the, the, we, it's in color and then it goes to black and white because we're in olden times, 1958.

Why is it in black and white? In Farron woods, Farron woods. We've got this sort of witchy lady. She started a cauldron. No, she's staring at Cauldron. No one who's ever stared at Cauldron wasn't a witch. No, no one's made that much soup, you know? She's calling Tommy. And this feels very reminiscent of the original movie, like the witch and the child and the-

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they do a recap of how she ended up being the witch or how pumpkinhead came to be or something? No, I don't think so. If they did, I entirely missed it. Did they do a recap of how she ended up being the witch or how pumpkin head came to be or something? No, I don't think so. If they did, I entirely missed it. So yeah, Tommy is a child with special needs. Yeah, he's sort of deformed essentially.

Yeah, he's got a weird hand and sort of has like a elephant man thing. Yeah, elephantitis. Yeah. Yeah. We see some bros in their matching jackets. And then I thought, is this what you imagine our dead moms club jackets to look like? Because it's absolutely what I imagine

our dead moms club jackets to look like. It's not often you see a leather on leather letterman jacket. And I thought, why are we not doing that? Oh, this would be so sweaty. Yeah, but like, it gets really cold here. Sure, sure. I haven't worn a leather jacket in like 35 years.

I don't think I've ever worn a leather jacket. It's not for me. Look at me. I could see you chilling in like a Serpico jacket. You look good. I mean to talk to the mayor. Like some big lapels you mean? Okay. Okay. Is it long? No, no, no. It's like a waistline. Cropped, cropped. Okay. Most of it would just be lapel for me. Very short-waisted. So, yeah, these Stephen Kingian teens show up. Monster teens.

Yeah, and they're like immediately just ready to murder this precious angel of a child. Yeah. This blood-winged child, if you will. I don't know, I don't know why they want to kill him. He's different. Oh, I see. All of this is being set to the dulcet tones of like generic do-wop as well. Do-wop, do-wop. Do-wop, do-wop. Yeah. Cause it's Stephen King shit. It is. It is Stephen King shit. It's like one of the jacket bros is hitting Tommy

with a baseball bat and he goes, it's a single, it's a double, it's triple, home run. But like, doesn't even make a batting for the cycle joke. Yeah. You think you'd have to say that. Yeah, no, clearing all the runners, baseball. Clear the deck, cannonball come in, which is what Pirates announcer Greg Brown says

when a home run is it? Clear the deck, cannonball coming. Come on, that's adorable. It's adorable. We just don't hear it that often. Guys, guys, today they elected a new pope, but I got confused because the Pirates also fired their manager, Derek Shelton,

and whenever people were excited about the new guy, I thought they were talking about former bench coach, now manager, Donny Kelly. Did white smoke go up over PNC Park? One hundo. But it was just a dude vaping on the top tier. Just blowing big clouds. It's all in cotton. Cotton candy? Did we get a new manager? It was just a stream of icy light.

A vaporized icy light. Oh my God. If I could, I would. So yeah, they, uh, they eventually, uh, hook Tommy on a chain. Yeah. What is this structure? Is it a well? They say it's a mineshaft. Okay. They hang them up like a pinata. Like, it's quite bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the lead kid, the lead teen, just starts cutting him. And the other dudes are like, yeah, no, this is great.

Really enjoying this. It's great. Are they murdered before? I'm guessing. Is Tommy like the last disabled person in the town because they've murdered all the others? You never see a single person of color. No, no, there's one person of color. That's right. In the posse, there's one person of color. Is there? Oh, at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's, you know, he's doing it to fit in. Yeah. He's doing it so he doesn't get the Tommy treatment.

Exactly. He's got to stay one step ahead of Tommy's. And then they drop him down the well after they've cut him up, like clap your hands, knock the dust off. We did a job today. Yeah, it's wild. And it's like physically affecting the witch. She's like having Tommy gets hit, she gets hit. Yeah. And I'm like, but what, but why? And throughout the rest of the film, I will go, but what I mean, suspend your disbelief. And at the end of the film, I will go, but what? I mean, suspend your disbelief. And at the end of the scene, I can't believe I'm telling you that, go on.

At the end of the scene, I just made a note that says, boys will be boys. Sucks. Now we're getting a voiceover from this big old New York City detective who's now the sheriff of his old hometown, Farron. Do you know what- He's the Hellraiser dad. Do you know what? He's the Hellraiser dad.

Do you know what Andrew Robinson does not say to me? What? Big New York City detective. No, hardened, no. He's so much softer in this than he is in Hellraiser. He seems like a soft baby punchy boy. He never says Jesus wept. He never tries to fuck his own daughter while wearing his brother's skin.

Wait, isn't it the other way around? It's his brother wearing his skin because he says come to daddy. I only fuck with jeans on. That's great Uncle Frank. We probably need to get back to the Hellraiser verse at some point. I mean, we're due. We still have more to get through. Oh, we have so many more to get through.

We have such sites to show you. Fuck. I wish that for once Pinhead would just like take me to the Bahamas. He's like, I have such sites to show you. And it's like drinking from a coconut. I have such sites to show you. This is Nepal. Yeah.

I would love that. No, Demon's Ex. No. Oh, thank you. Just leave the Demon's Ex. Take me to Mexico City. That would love that. No, demon sex? No, just leave the demon sex. Take me to Mexico City. That would be grand. Yeah.

Anyway. Yeah, so he's the sheriff of the town. Got a nice wife named Beth. Is Beth a detective? Is Beth his deputy? Beth is the only one who does any actual police work in this movie. I have questions.

Yeah, okay, yeah. So throughout the film, the police station seems to be his kitchen. Does the coroner live there? I think the coroner might live with them. Okay. Is she there? Are they a throuple? Oh, we're thinking we're getting Bolly here. Oh, I mean, what else would she be doing? I don't, I don't know. Like what, what the, and it's just like, no one mentions that she keeps walking into their kitchen and being like, here's crime information. Yes, here's crime information

in front of your wife and daughter. Now let's have dinner. Don't pigs have HIPAA? What's going on here? What is going on? No, no, no HIPAA. So we meet the town teens. Oh, mom and dad are worried about Jenny

cause something happened in New York city. Do we ever find out what happened in New York city? Oh, we do, we do. Do we? Yeah, cause she got away with it, whatever it was, but her friends didn't. Yeah, but that's like all we've got. It's not like, but then like when there's murder happening,

he's like, this is just like last time. And I'm like, is this the second murder she's been involved in? Yeah, Jenny should quit murdering. Or, counterpoint, she should probably have murdered more people before she could get out of hand. Yeah, that's true. We need more female serial killers out there, right?

I mean, I think equal representation, yeah. Exactly. They must have been smoking a joint, because I just wrote, I love a joint. Yes, that would go with my note, making out and smoking weed. Yeah, perfect. Perfect afternoon. And Hoomst is the teen in the back seat making out. It's Punky Brewster.

Soleil fucking Moonfire. Yeah. Everyone called me Punky Brewster when I was little. I did not grow up to look like her. She did not grow up to look like me. We did not. We grew apart somewhere. Both beautiful in your own way. Shut up.

So the leader of this gang is Danny Dixon, whose haircut is doing like all the heavy lifting. That is maybe, no, that's the second most 1994 haircut in this movie. Who's number one? Paul. Who, his name is not mentioned until act three, I'm sure. Until act three where he shows up dressed up like an extra from a like a community theater Pirates of Penzance. You're talking about his stripes? Stripes and like the like sailor pants cut off that are like the old dress of my grunge Jesus oh And who is Jenny IRL in real life? Who is she? I have no idea daughter of monkeys drummer Mickey Dolan

Why are you saying that to me like it's important? fucking Amy Dolan's She and other things no She stopped acting in like 2010. 2010? She had a nice long career there. Yeah, I mean I think she was like, victim on SVU. I mean we've all been victim on SVU. But I am fucking the guy from the monkeys. It's his daughter. I couldn't name another member of the monkeys. I couldn't have named him. If you had sat me down earlier and said, I will shoot you in the head if you can't name a member of the monkeys. I couldn't have named him. If you had sat me down earlier and said, I will shoot you in the head. If you can't name a member of the monkeys, I

would have said a Mike Nesmith. I would have said David, Davey Jones. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. Would you have let me live if I said David? Yeah. We would have never really shot. Well, no, but that's the whole game. But no, I would just like, it's like I meant shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. Just hand me a little thing of Jaeger-meister and I throw up all over your kitchen. Speaking of which, did you watch this on Plex so you could watch it for free? No, I was not willing to deal with ads last night. I was just in a fucking mood, you know, I was in a no ad mood, a three 79 mood. So all of the ads, I just had a second screen experience because

on Plex, the ads are two and a half minutes long. Oh boy. Which is nice because that's like a pee break. You get up, you have a little tinkle, you come back, the movie starts back up. Gotcha. But one of the ads I got was for a Modelo, like, Chillada or something like that.

That was like, it was all like mango and chili flavor. And I was like, oh, I might get back on the sauce for that. That was like, it was all like mango and chili flavor. And I was like, I might, I might get back on the sauce for that. That sounds delish. You could drink one. Yeah, why not? Yeah. I'll try to find them. Yeah. I figured that'd be delish. And then it was like the variety pack of a bunch of different flavors. I'll get them all and I'll bring you the one that you want. Oh man. So yeah, Mickey Dolan's daughter's in this.

She gets into the bad kids immediately and you know they're bad cause they're smoking weed and making out. Which is they look so fun. They're also in a convertible because of course they're like a Cadillac convertible. And they're also that like eighties nineties collection of friends who all look so wildly different that you know they would not actually hang out together. Yeah.

But it's, it's very weird. So we are now in the actual sheriff's office where the judge is hanging out with him. Yeah, yeah. And this farmer comes in and starts talking about how he liked the old sheriff, he liked it better before. Cause it was cheaper for his hunting license. And I thought, well, this is why local elections matter.

And then I thought, Jesus Christ, this ties in with last week's movie. A lot of this movie and a lot of that movie were about how local elections matter. He has themes. He's, I mean, I think he's an auteur. I would say so. He's the next Scorsese.

Jeff Burr auteur. Auteur. Auteur. Auteur. I took one, exactly one film class in college in which I argued that John Hughes was an otter. Would you win? No.

No. The professor just go, nah. She was kind of like, you could tell she wanted to hear me out because she knew it was the right thing to do, but it was such a clearly stupid argument to be making. Sit down, punky Brewster, we heard. No.

No. That's fine. The judge is cool and everything. I mean, he seems like a piece of shit immediately, off the bat. I mean, yeah, again, local elections. And then the fucking mayor comes in. Okay, so Amy Dolan's not the most famous,

weird celebrity family member in this movie. Who is the mayor? Roger Clinton. Are you shitting me? It's Roger, Bill Clinton's little brother. The one who had like the coke charges that he got him a pardon on. Yeah, that's fucking Roger Clinton.

I knew he looked familiar, but I could not figure out why. Mayor Bubba, as he's credited in this film, is Roger Clinton. The then president's brother. He has this shitty hockey haircut. It's not like, it's not party in the front. It's party all the way around, but still a moat. I wanna back you up on shitty.

Yeah. It's working for him. Okay. He's got a face for it. He has a shitty hockey face is maybe what I'm saying. I should say he has a shitty haircut for a mayor. He's not very mayoral. No.

I'm thinking of the mayor from, oh fuck, what was that movie with the aliens and the mayor who was having a pool party and got mad cause he couldn't have the pool party anymore. Cause aliens had showed up. Oh, it was by the same person who made, um, it was a Don dollar joint. Wasn't it? Yeah. It was that same guy. Did alien factor. Oh, it's so good. We're Steven and aunt Ruth and both of them. Fuck. Oh, it's so good. Weren't Steven and Aunt Ruth in both of them? Fuck, I love those movies so much.

That movie also had surprising titties in it. Surprising titties, yeah. I'm looking up Don Doehler while we talk. God, Don Doehler. God rest your soul. It was an alien factor too. No. The alien rampage, was it?

Night Beast, was it Night Beast? Night Beast. Night Beast? Night Beast. Night Beast. Night Beast was classic. Oh yes, it was so good. Oh man, finally I can remember things. I know. What about Galaxy Invader?

Can we do that one sometime? Yeah, 100%. An alien is hunted by a gang of drunken men who's on crash land in a spaceship. It's all Don Dollar movies in the woods of Maryland. No shit, Don Dollar. is fucking Atlantis in it. That's all I want to know. Oh my God. I love that song so much.

Maybe someday. Maybe someday. Maybe someday. At some point, I would love for that seven inch shelf in our PO box. It's really expensive, guys. Don't do it. We've looked it up.

Yeah. OK, so we're in the family doctor's office, or so I thought. I think it might, now. Okay. So we're in the family doctor's office or so I thought it's, I think it might now in retrospect, I think it's the coroner's office. Yeah. But I think she also may be the like town doctors. It's a very small town here in a Farron woods. Yeah. Yeah. Very small town. And they're hill people and you can tell because they call the valleys hollows, which I like a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So there's somewhere in Appalachia. And you could tell because the movie hates them. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Is this movie hate people who live in rural areas? Sure. But the first one does too. Right. Oh yeah. I mean, I think that's just because they're, they're hateful people, right? Sure. Just kidding. There's all these specimens in what appears to be the family doctor's office. And people just keep walking in and out of his appointment like including but Mayor Bubba I'd be devastated if I was like sitting on the table talking to my

PCP and just like Ed Ganey walked in just fucking up in stirrups, speculum and into the mayor and the mayor shows up to pick up his guitar that's been retuned by the fucking doctor's assistant. All science ladies in this movie. Yeah. I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Love the ladies scientist.

And so the, who, I don't remember the doctor's name. I don't know if we ever learned the doctor's name. No, she's got a name. It's just probably stupid. It's not Marcy, cause that's the lay moon fry. Dr. Delilah Pettybone? Delilah, Delilah Pettybone? Fuck off with that.

That is a, I need a quick, quick, quick. I need a character for my call of Cthulhu game. Delilah Pettybone. So Dr. Delilah Pettybone is, starts telling the sheriff, cause he's new to town, even though he used to live here. About how some of her ancestors were witch doctors and these specimen jars are the people who didn't pay.

That's funny. The American healthcare system sucked then too. Yeah. So the mayor comes in with his mullet, gets a guitar and leaves. And he's got like an entourage like 70 year old lackeys. It's very weird. Like his heavies are old men, old men. And he's also tiny. He's like five foot two. And lacks a hundred percent of the Riz of his shit ass brother. I mean, say what you will about Roger Clinton. I find him charming. Just cause probably cause he's got coke. Just kidding.

Dude, you seem pretty cool. You got a bump? Like your haircut. Jesus a bump from mommy? Jesus Christ. Hell no. In for a penny, in for a pound. In for a penny, in for a pound. You're right. Commit to the bit. We see the kids drinking the Miller Lite beer again.

A prop has made it across the chasm into this film. I was so happy. That's so funny. I'm so happy. Dani steals a kiss from Jenny. And literally, she does not want to be kissing him. It's so funny. I'm so happy. Danny steals a kiss from Jenny and like literally she does not want to be kissing him. It's assault. But then she falls in love with him. Of course he does, he's dreaming. Because she's, no. One no and two she's like I listen to him now he kissed me so he owns me. It's very gross. 1994 different time, a different time. I don't know, man.

You're right though. You were 10, what did you know about the world? No, I knew shit, shit about shit. So she's sneaking out of her house, but she lets her dog out, and I was like, hot tip. If you're gonna sneak out, don't let the fucking dog out. She sucks. She sucks. She gets in the car with the gang. Yeah. And this is where we learned that the, oh no,

this is where they do the, I know the, with what I know what you killed less. I know, I know who killed me last summer. What is that fucking movie called? I know what you did last summer. that fucking movie called? I know what you did last summer. Holy. We need those kids on the deserted road, run over Lindsay. But it wasn't her. It was her twin. Oh my God. She gets a bionic hand.

You know, I thought about watching I know who killed me recently when I was just like, I'm looking for something to watch. I don't know what to do. And then I was like, I know who killed me is on anywhere for something to watch. I don't know what to do. And then I was like, wonder if I know who killed me is on anywhere. And then I thought you can't do this to yourself. You should hit me up. I bought it when we did the live stream. Oh, can I get your login? But we are before we do the driving around scene, we get the scene where the sheriff meets the kids and finds out that Danny is the judge's son. Right, right, right.

So we know that he'll never get in trouble for any of the things that he does. Exactly. Which is like a bit of, um, hypocrisy because we learned that the sheriff has been getting Jenny out of trouble all the time. Yeah. It's almost like, uh, there is no justice in America. It's almost like it's about who you know. Weird. I think we're bringing lefty politics into this too much. My God, suck all of my flaps. Listen, I want to say this right now.

If you don't want to hear us talk about politics, shove it up your ass. I'm sorry the world affects us. You don't like it? Wah, it gives you sads? Wah, fuck you. You can cut that if you deem it unnecessary. It's fine, I fully endorse.

Alan endorses everything Katie just said, including suck my flaps. Suck your flaps or suck my flaps? Yes. Suck our collective flaps. Suck the flaps! Hello neighbors, the windows are open. That woman next door is used to hearing me shout ill-mannered things.

I'm an ill-mannered person. Yes. Give a head to, it doesn't matter. This movie is bullshit. They're going on joy riding at night. They're doing the, I know who killed me last summer. And they hit, they hit the witch. She is walk out into the road. And of course, Danny is trying to cover it up cause he's a bastard. And everybody else goes along with it. Well, no, they don't because Jenny goes, I hit and run is serious shit.

And then it cuts to Pete, the black kid. And he's just solemnly nodding. So you're a toady, Pete. You're such a fucking toady. I mean a hit and run is serious shit. Oh because they're doing the old fun thing that you did when you were a teen of driving down a deserted road and shutting the lights off and on to freak everybody out. I never did that because I have never liked dangerous driving. Oh, I remember doing that in the Arizona desert

at like two o'clock in the morning on tour. Oh no, so you weren't a kid, you were a grown ass me. Oh yeah, I was like 27. But it was cool because in the desert, when you shut the, it was like a full moon, so we shut the lights off and it was just like daytime. Oh, that's cool. Although I don't think people should live in the desert.

You know how I feel about it. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And resources and all. It's against God's will against Dodds will. That's the one thing I agree with God on. Yeah. He didn't want us to live there and we fucking threw it in his face. It's true hubris. Yeah. They walk through a circle of stone hinges. Don't walk through the circle of stone hinges. Okay. Cause they hit this old lady who I'm sorry to say this, this is very rude. I should not comment on someone's appearance has the worst prosthetics I've

ever seen in anybody in any movie. I mean, it's truly bad. And you can tell, I think it's an older woman in there. I don't know why they're doing this to her. Older enough. So she, uh, yeah, they hit her and then seemingly she has traveled a half a mile away from them in the time it took them to get out of the car. Did she just up and disappear? Flew away on her broom. Cause she a witch.

So yes, they walk through pet cemetery to get there. They just tromp right through this like stone hinge of I don't know. There's so much in this movie, just like what if I took a little bit from Stephen King? Like he'd be cool, right? He's cool, right? Stephen King's cool. People like Stephen King.

I'll just take a little bit. Dean Koons has been doing it for years. I'll just take a little bit. A little bit here and there. Shots fired at Dean Koons. Yeah. The hardest I ever laughed at a Family Guy episode was when he, Brian's driving the van

and runs over a guy and goes, oh my God, are you Stephen King? No, I'm Dean Coons and back so. That is very funny. So they go into her house. Just walk in. Just because Punky Brewster knows where she lives because she's into like creepy shit.

She's a little witchy herself. She's a little witchy herself. She wears untied combat boots. She's gonna trip over those. They run this lady over with a car and then go into her house and light her candles. Don't light her candles. What are you wasting her shit? Why does Punky Brewster light all the candles? I don't know.

I'm sorry, Silly Moonfryer, you're probably listening and probably hate being called punky Brewster. Look, but you've iconically punky Brewster. I'm going to be Allen ambulance forever. I know. I'll just be this, whatever this is. Allen's friend, whatever this is, whatever's going on here, slot me in where you can. I'm just happy to be part of the conversation. Um, punky Brewster is like, this looks like a page from the book of shadows. And I was like, no Blair Witch 2. So I felt very Blair Witch 2. They're in the same verse. I've decided. They absolutely are. She is the witchy girl. Remember there was a witchy, there's a hot goth lady. Yes, exactly. Uh, I will say Blair Witch, not in this universe. Blair Witch 2, definitely in this universe.

Oh yeah, that's totally separate. Blair Witch 1 is in the Don Doller verse because it's in Maryland. Oh yeah, true, true. In the woods of Maryland. God, I wish Don Doller had made that movie to have been so much better. Wait, can we?

Oh my God. Listen. Can we? Wait, wait, wait. Another reboot of Blair Witch, Can we wait, wait, wait. Another reboot of Blair Witch as imagined by Don Dollar. Like we will do it in the style of Don Dollar. We could do this for a few thousand dollars. We could get that on a Kickstarter. In no time, we're making movies.

I was gonna say all you people using AI to do dumb shit like turn Trump into the Pope when you could be out here making fucking Don Dollar's Flare Witch. Feed all the Don Dollar movies into chat GPT. That can be done. Of course it can. Guys, I need money. Money please. And really you all need this. We need fucking like geographically correct accents

for a Maryland set film. Perfect, perfect. And the flannel budget is the thing that's gonna hurt us the most. I think we can dig around. I think we can find things. I mean, I probably have enough to. I think you can out fit the whole cast and the crew.

I don't know why they have to wear them too, but they do. Okay. Don dollar. We're getting in the Don dollar verse. I like anyone who has not watched a Don dollar movie, which is probably most people here. Cause a lot of people only listen to episodes for which they have seen the movie. So they're definitely here for blood. Okay. Yeah, you're right. We can do whatever we want. This is for the real heads that come in for every film.

They find, please seriously do yourself a favor and go watch the fucking Don Dolder movies. They're amazing. Alien factor, a night beast. Genius. I can't wait to watch alien factor too. It's even shorter than alien factor. Of course it is. The snow and alien factor. I never stop thinking about that. It's always, always just on the corner of my brain. So they're in this Lee's house.

They've lit her candles. They've gone through her stuff. They found the book of shadows. They find a vial, which is supposedly blood of the damned. How does Punky Brewster know that? Is it labeled as such? Because it was shaped weird. Yeah.

Like a real damned bottle. This whole scene is like her auditioning for the craft. Yeah, yeah, and not making it. And not making it. They were like, no, we're going with Neve Campbell, sorry. Sorry, actually, Faroukha. Farouza Balk. Farouza Balk.

And all of her teeth. Actually, Faroukha Salt got this oneza Balk. Farooza Balk. And all of her teeth. Well, actually, Farooka Salt got this one. I love Farooka Salt, actually. Who doesn't? I love Farooza Balk. Yeah. A lot of teeth on both. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Daddy, she wants a goose. Um, so, uh, yes, they, uh, she's, she's, she knows all this shit. Wait, were you talking about the child Farooka Salt? I was talking about the nineties girl band. No, I don't want to fight the C either. I'm not getting them involved. They opened for Bush at my very first show that I ever saw. Oh, yeah. The arena. Yeah. So I knew I was straight. I was like, Oh, Gavin Rossdale,

Gavin Rossdale, a perfect example of how far hot we'll get you. Pretty fucking far when you look like that dude. Yeah. He probably still has that haircut doesn't he? How could you not? Yeah. That's a lock in. That's one that you're just like one and done. Just trim it up. Yeah. The rest of my goddamn life. So yes, she knows everything about the occult. She's doing all this occult shit and then the lady shows up. Relatively unscathed from the accident. Maybe she's real fucked up looking. I mean, she was real fucked up looking in 1958 too.

So how do you know she's blind? Um, cause she doesn't have eyeballs, I think. Her eyes are black. You know, blindness. When you're blind, I thought you just, I thought you just don't have eyeballs. They get rid of them. They're like, buddy, why keep these? That's awful. She knows he has the blood. And she's like, don't fucking take that.

It's not yours and you don't know what you're doing with it. And so he clubs her. With a flashlight. Yeah. Like, like he wants to be the sheriff of the town. Oh my God. She definitely has like real come on guy energy. Come on man, just don't take the blood. Yeah, just you hit me with your car already. Is that, was that not enough for you?

And he's like, I just live for kicks, man. I just gotta get my kicks. Danny Dixon sucks. All of these teens suck. Yeah, every last one of them. Jenny, I'm supposed to get my kicks. Danny Dixon sucks. All of these teens suck. Yeah, every last one of them. Jenny, I'm supposed to be pulling for her. I do not pull for Jenny for a single moment of this film. No.

Miss Ossie curses all of you to the vengeance of Pumpkin Head. Head, head, head, head, head. So they go and do the ritual to bring Pumpkin Head back because they don't have anything else to do. Have they not heard of drinking? Yeah, right? They had beers earlier. And weed.

There's a POV of digging up the grave, to which I wrote, one, why, two, classic Jeff Burr. So we're to understand at this point that pumpkin head is the reanimated demon body of a child with some deformities and like maybe intellectual disabilities. Yes. Well, yes. But also might be the devil. Well, if I recall, one thing that I did not remember but read on the Wikipedia page today for Pumpkinhead 1

is that like. Blood things. Blood things. Things. Lantz-Hendriksen summons him to get revenge on some kids who killed his kid. But then he sort of becomes Pumpkinhead and Pumpkinhead sort of becomes him

and he has to kill himself. Sorry, spoilers for Pumpkinhead 1. Oh, that's true. So that Pumpkinhead is just like, takes away his humanity. Cause I remember liking that movie and being like, that's way better than I thought it was gonna be. Sure, Pumpkinhead's great.

Yeah. Yeah. But this Pumpkinhead is, totally different backstory. This pumpkin head is the way was Tommy Tommy pumpkin had fucked a lady and had Tommy is my understanding. Yes. And Tommy is pumpkin head. So he is his own grandfather. So he fucked his mom. But like by transitive properties, because I think he became pumpkinhead. He wasn't always pumpkinhead. But now he's pumpkinhead. But he's always been the son of pumpkinhead.

Tommy was always the son of pumpkinhead. Who are you talking about when you say he? Tommy. So Tommy is now pumpkinhead. Previously he was the son of pumpkinhead. Okay. But once they did- Mr. Pumpkinhead was my father, call me the son of pumpkin head. Okay. But once they did Mr. pumpkin head was my father called me pumpkin head. Got it. When they did the

pumpkin head book of shadows page and they spilled the blood on Tommy's mouth, they conjured pumpkin head through the corpse of Tommy. So now Tommy is pumpkin head. So now Tommy is his own father. I think also this pumpkin head has dildos on his shoulders and it was so confusing. He has absolute dick shoulders. There's so weird. They're so weird. Hey, if you ever want to invite a couple friends over,

I got these two on my shoulders. Honestly, so we know pumpkin head Fox, right? Do you think people just riding his shoulder? I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for this. Trying to understand if that plot that you described makes sense. And I still don't know. I don't know because I thought they were reanimating Tommy and then Pumpkinhead comes back.

But like it has Tommy's memories. I guess Tommy, this says that they resurrected Tommy in the form of Pumpkinhead. But she definitely fucked Pumpkinhead. Somebody fucked Pumpkinhead. So was Miss Ozzy his mom? Tommy's mom? Because she fed him like a dog in the woods.

Which no, he's a deformed orphan according to this. Okay, so she just a lady, but what? She's no. But why is she connected to him when he gets hurt, she gets hurt. Because she called on him for revenge, but she didn't actually, the teens did. Yeah. And she was doing that in the beginning of the movie before she had called on him for vengeance.

Right. You're right. She had just called on him for dinner. She had just called on him for dinner. You're right. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like this movie didn't actually watch pumpkinhead.

Or itself. Yeah. What this movie has an existential crisis about is that it can never see itself. It's on face. I've never seen my own face. What does it look like? Is it okay? It's beautiful.

No, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Y'all get yourself in a relationship where you can't compliment the other person. Unless they become vicious with you. So Jenny's out of here, but she's in order to get out of here. She's got to go past the cabin, which is now on fire. Yeah. Just absolutely unfoigle.

She has to go past the cabin even though that's not the direction their car is in. No, because they came through the Stonehenge. Yeah. Also I have a note that says Marcy is a brain genius cause she says that this exhumed corpse stinks. So yes, the cabin is on fire because Ms. Ozzy was trying to pull something and ended up pulling down the candles that Marcy had lit, Punky Brewster. Yes, shouldn't have done that.

No, no. Jenny runs for help and then they all run back and look at the fire and go, ooh, not gonna be able to help her, sorry, gotta go. No, gotta, but like all of a sudden now, they give a shit about her wellbeing. So far you've hit her with a car and your friend clubbed her. I know you didn't see it or whatever,

but some of them did as it turns out. Also there was a small model of Stonehenge in her house. And when that catches on fire is the inciting moment to Tommy's resurrection as Pumpkinhead. Right. I've just written here, oh hell yeah, Pumpkinhead. I don't know who you are or why you are, but Hey, I think I saw his dick shoulders.

Hey girl, how you doing them dick shoulders? What are you doing? Where are you taking that shoulder? I have a note that says pumpkin head power, power of the pump. The fuck is going on over here. This may have been the one that genuinely broke us. So, Trumpkinhead was a child who was murdered. Cool is a note that I have. Yeah.

Oh my God. So, Ernst comes back to the sheriff's office and he wants his money back because he's not going to do any hunting because that witch has been messed with and now Pumpkinhead is going to be on the loose. And he calls the hollow a holler. Yeah. I was like, wow, this is like very hill people. I love this.

I've only ever known them as hollers. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I know that on a map it would say hollow, but I've only ever heard them referred to as hollers. Interesting. Yeah, yeah. It's a real a crick creek situation.

Yeah, crick, right? No, it's creek all day long. Oh my God. The fuck back. Delaware, baby. Go the fuck back to the East coast. Route route? It, it's Creek all day long. Oh my God. Delaware, baby. Go the fuck back to the East Coast. Route route? It depends on how you're saying it.

Exactly. It depends on whether you're saying a road or... Route six, paper route. No, vice versa. Route six, paper route. Oh, there you go. Huh. And never the twain shall meet.

Nah, fuck you. So the sheriff gives him his money back because that's what sheriffs be doing. He just took it out of his wallet. He's like, just go away. So he initially pocketed the hunting badge money. Hunting license. We call this the treasury. I came here to do crimes.

So just tiny crimes. So sheriff goes to do crimes. So, uh, just tiny crimes. So sheriff goes to see Danny. Danny Hoombs is washing his 1957 car. Washing it, not trying to pull the dent out. It's a big dent. It is a big dent. He says, I hit a dog and the sheriff says, big dog. Everyone on the scene just keeps putting on and taking off their eyewear, glasses, sunglasses, just up, down, up, down.

What do you mean? Stop doing it. The judge also says, the boy's quite a student. Because Danny's cover up for being out on the town running over an old lady is that he was home all night studying and all of us looked at Danny and went when you've never opened a book in your fucking life. You're actually functionally illiterate, like much like 54% of America. 54%? That can't be right.

Big fun. I'm actually looking this one up because I really don't want to get emails on it. How much of America is illiterate? 21%. Geez, Zooey. Yeah. That's low literacy. Okay.

Functionally illiterate is only 20%. Only 20, down from 21 of low literacy. So does that mean there's a 41% of America has reading issues? No, I think those are, they're, they're, they're, yeah. But 54% of adults read at or below a sixth grade level. So I was not that far off. Yeah. No, that makes my heart hurt because I love reading so much.

And I think it's like something that everyone can benefit from. I understand that not everyone enjoys reading the way I do. But it's also sad because then you can't like make inferences, you know? Compare things, understand context, find a connotation. They just stop being funny and get real sad about reading level of America. So we, the witch is in the hospital now. She's real bandaged up cause she'd been burnt. Yeah. And then we cut. This woman has had a hell of a day. You think she must be immortal, right?

Because she got hit by a car and then disappeared and then got set on fire and is okay. No, she's in the hospital. She's in bad shape. She's had a fucking awful day. Also where does this film fall in the timeline of the original pumpkin head? Is this after the other pumpkin head? Wasn't that in the 50s? No, those were 80s kids. Yeah, you're right, they're riding dirt bikes and shit.

I think this is just a totally different pumpkin head. I think this is like pumpkin head's cousin. This is like a totally different pumpkin verse? Yeah. This is the one that takes place in the Book of Shadows. Right. Where the other pumpkin head is in the Blair Witch universe.

Exactly. I think we sorted it. Oh, I love it when a plan comes together. So Ernst is feeding his goats and I love him because his name is Ernst. Yeah, you like that. He's the cutest little farm decor, like the song guy and the pig wind chimes, even though we all know how I feel about wind chimes. You love them. I think you're a horrible person if you live in a city and have wind chimes. I am a horrible person. Yes.

I have wind chimes on my back porch. Yes, you should take them down. No, they're really nice. They're not. It's a tuneless xylophone at all hours. You know what I like? Can I tell you a thing that I really like? Sleeping with my window open. You know why it's hard for me? Because across the street,

something's going clang-a-de-clang-a-de-clang-a-de-clang-a-de-clang-a-de-clang-a-de-clang-a-de all fucking night. You should know that I spent multiple hours today listening to free jazz. So for me, that's just like, hell yeah, get A total on that shit dog. But you don't blast free jazz from the roof of your porch, is what I'm saying. Because that would be rude to your neighbors. I just found out that you don't know me at all. All right. I do play it in the house and get, can you not?

Yeah, not even for your partner. So Ernst is feeding the goats and then a hay storm starts up. And of course I thought, Hey. And we see that Miss Ozzie is having a fast or a hard time at the hospital. She's, she's bouncing around in her bed because pumpkin head is up. And we know that because we're seeing things now in pump go vision. Yep. I love Jeff Burr and his POV shots. This is ridiculous. Why pumpkin had seen red? Why does he see in red? Um, why not orange? She's pumpkin. He is pumpkin head and why is he pumpkin head?

Cause his head's not much of a pumpkin. It's kind of pumpkin shaped. There's a pumpkin. He's Gordish. He's Gordish. Okay. He's Gordish. Gorda just as much of a threat. Oh's Gordish. He's Gordish. Okay. He's Gordish. And Gord-head just isn't as much of a threat. And Gordo showed up. So Ernst goes into his barn, which is covered in hanging meat. Yeah, that's not generally farming, but okay. Yeah, and as a six foot two vegetarian, I was like, this how they do that? I don't think so.

I don't think so. I think you want a clean environment. I think you want to keep them cold. Yeah. Like a refrigerator. He was making salami. That's not how you make salami either. I don't know how he does. Oh yeah. You're right. That might be one of them Ernst special salami. You're right. You're right. But of course it's just set up so that there would be meat hooks hanging around so that Ernst could be put on one by pumpkin head. Yep.

Pumpkin head has giant hands. Pumpkin head has giant hands. I mean, when you see pumpkin head at full, at full body, pumpkin heads, hands are ridiculous. And one fun thing about pumpkin heads hands is they don't close. They're not, no, they're not really articulate. Are they? No. So when he goes to pick up Ernst, he just lays paws on him. Gives him some praying hands.

Pumpkin head. I just remembered at this point that he's really petty. Like he just does petty shit all the time. That carries over from the previous pumpkin head. He slices Ernst up, taking off all of his appendages. Well, I don't know if he took off his wiener or not. But that's not explicitly, no. But his legs, arms and head have been removed. So we just see the torso when the doctor

and sheriff shows up. Right, and he just takes a photo with a disposable camera. Where are you taking that? To write aid? What are you doing, bro? Pocket money. Who ever calls the cops in these situations and every crime procedural I've ever watched, they show up and go, well, wife called this in somebody called this in. Yeah.

Who called it in for Ernst? What do you think pumpkin head would sound like on the phone? called this in. Somebody called this in. Yeah. Who called it in for Ernst? Pumpkinhead. What do you think pumpkinhead would sound like on the phone? A thunderstorm. Fuck Ernst's farm. But you get the vibe from what he's doing. You know what he's, you know what he means. And then while they're looking at this dead man's torso, the fucking judge rolls in like he's supposed to be here.

How does he find out? How does anyone find out? Okay. All right. All right. All right. And what is the judge's rationale for what committed this crime? This murder? I don't remember. It was a wildcat. It was a wildcat. Okay. Wildcat took off all of his appendages with perfect slices. That's right. I was totally distracted by a note I've written here, which is he's just a scared old boy with a head full of rats. And I think the judge said that, but I don't remember. About the wildcat. No, about Ernst, maybe about Ernst. Cause Ernst was leading on that there's some sort of thing going on with the witch to the sheriff. Right. That's why he gave his hunting license back.

Refunded it. There's also something drawn on the wall in blood. What is it, Alan? Those would be blood wings. Blood wings. I didn't know at that point. I was like, what is drawn on the wall in blood? Eyebrows? Eyebrows, mad faces.

Hat, hat, hat, hat, hat. If you listen to us on GAM, because we forgot to plug it. Yeah. If you listened to us on GAM last week, you'd have heard that. Hat, hat, hat, hat. That's God awful movies.

I did love that someone on Discord was like, oh, I've never heard of this podcast before, and now I love it. Oh, nice. They, we finally got to turn someone onto GAM rather than them just turning people onto us. Hey, we did it. Very exciting.

We did it, guys. Yeah, go listen to our, what was the movie called? Night Cries. Night Cries. I wish Don Doehler had directed Nightcries. Just everything. Titanic directed by Don Doehler. Just an alien walking around on the deck of the Titanic. An alien that looks like shit wearing jeans. Blue jeans. So good, love it. Oh man. So the judge wants to put together a hunting party to go take care of this wild cat.

Right, he's got a posse, he's got a crew. And the sheriff does the most rational thing of like, yeah, can you not do that? We're not gonna do that. It's wild because he seems like a good cop until he's getting the autopsy report here in his kitchen in front of his minor child. Why? Why in his home?

Why in his home? Oh, you know, during the cost of electricity, we can like keep the sheriff's office on for four hours a day. So the rest of the time, just at home, just at home, my PJ is correct. Doing sheriff business. Well, Beth makes dinner. Oh, Beth, Beth, a put upon wife. Um, so yeah, the doctor shows up and she's like, these are the same marks that were Ms. Ozzie's house. They're just claw marks.

They're just claw marks. Yeah. Perhaps from a wildcat. Perhaps. And then she's like, oh, by the way, have I ever told you about pumpkin head? But he used to live here. When he was a child. And he knows the quote unquote nursery rhyme. Oh, bolted doors and windows barred, guard dogs prowling in the yard. And then I just wrote ZZZZZZZZZ. It's real Freddy Krueger shit. It's real Freddy Krueger shit. It's real like first draft of what Vincent Price says in Thriller.

Yes! Oh, you're so right about that. It's so... I was like, that is not a very good nursery rhyme. No, it stuck with him though. Pumpkinhead. Then we get Jenny sleeping. She's having a dream. A sex dream. About her bed in the hollow.

Yeah. With the dude. Why is she into this dude? It's that haircut. It's that haircut. No. No. No. Except it's a dream within a dream because pumpkin head is here. I was like, brr, you're pulling out dream with a dream on me right now. Come on, buddy. Come on. And she wakes up horny and scared is what I said. Yeah. Wakes up horny and scared. You know what? That happens to everybody though, right? That's normal. And then I was thinking about Lisa Frank, it said, and I was like, I love that they just normalized waking up, jerking off.

Yeah. Sometimes you wake up jerking off, you know, pump pumpkin head was there and that's not, and then sometimes it was a statue of a man from a cemetery. It looks a bit like young Glenn Danzig. I don't know. The whole thing's weird. I mean, I think young Glenn Danzig was a smoke show. Yeah. Got that giant jawline. Um, Oh my God. Uh, we get some good old hillbilly fucking. So I have to tell you how excited it was that Linnea Quigley is fucking a fat dude in this scene.

I got a chance everybody. Oh God. She's fucking a fat bearded dude. She likes it. She's into him. She's into him. His wife doesn't treat him right. These ladies tits are Linnea Quigley's tits.

I knew it. He says the line that I always say after sex beats the hell out of delivering mail. I wonder if he's the mailman. He's retired. We learn he's a retired mailman. He's still thinking about it. Can I read you a set of notes? I would love that.

Linnequally is fucking a fat dude. This movie rules. I'm happy for you. So she heads out to the truck to redo her lipstick and get a pack of smokes as you do. Right. Puts on her high heels to go out to the truck too. I was like, could you do fluffy flops? I mean, if nothing else, Lynne Quigley's dedication to her craft.

Yes. Remember that sorority slime ball movie where she was just wearing a shirt that was all underboob? Yeah. It was barely a shirt. Yeah. Damn it. Remember that night of the demon where she puts a lipstick into her nipple? I mean the Quigley verse. It's a beautiful, they remember when she gets stuck on a deer's rack in a silent night, deadly night. Oh my God. I forgot all about that. Remember she dances on a grave and has a Ken doll vagina in a return? Yes. Why is she smooth?

It's so much more upset. She could have queefed on film and it would have been less upsetting than her being smooth down there. You find queefs upsetting, Alan. No! What I'm just saying. I was trying to think of like something dramatic that would draw attention to her if she just like, applause. No, to the queefing community.

I do not find them upsetting at all. A lot of ladies with their arms crossed right now. You know what I'm saying? We thought you were an ally. I am, I swear. But so now it's like, oh, okay, these guys were the guys from the beginning. Yeah. And we're gonna have to watch like three more deaths.

Yep. And every time at this point when pumpkin head is fucking somebody up, Miss Ozzy has a bad time with it. I don't know why. Is she sleep directing his moves? I don't know. He's doing like shit-ass wrestling moves. He does do a backbreaker! That is not shit-ass, you are wrong about that. Pumpkin Head doing a backbreaker with his floppy little fingers is so fucking funny. And then he raised his hands up and waved him in front of his face as a no-saber! Blood wings, I don't know what it all means. But there's blood wings drawn all over this cabin and then Linnae quickly is

hiding in a closet and comes out and they're like, ah she's gone. Whatever she saw scared her so bad she can't handle it. She's one step away from being scared to death. A doctor says that! A doctor says that! Dr. Delilah Pettybone. How long had they been at this fucking crime scene to not notice Linnea Quigley? She is one step away from being scared. One step away from being scared to death. God bless us everyone. I'm pretty sure one step away, her hair would have gone white. Yeah, I saw peanut butter solution. Oh my God, I was so excited when she delivered that line.

All of her lines are delivered so strangely too. Like, as though, as though she thinks it's like a stage performance. She needs the people in the back to see it. Very weird. This is where she hugs the sheriff, is it? No, that's later. That's later on.

I thought they are absolutely fucking. They're fucking. They're fucking, but also I think she's fucking Beth because they were just like making dinner together. Trouble, baby. Yeah, whatever works for your family. Yeah, exactly. No shame.

This judge also does not believe in due process, as I know that I have written here. Is that too political? I apologize. I don't. I'm not sorry. So now we cut to Jenny and Danny making out. It just doesn't make any sense that she'd be into him, but fine.

Yeah, no. She doesn't want to make out. And Danny goes, Hey, what's the matter? She goes, Danny, there was another killing last night. You know, I can never get horned up after a murder. Who wrote this down? The same person who wrote one step away from being scared to death. Oh, God.

It's so fantastic. I almost texted you last night thanking you for fighting this movie. It was the Chechornia brothers, Constantine and Ivan. What do you bet that they do not speak English as a first language? They don't even have Wikipedia pages. Chachornia, brothers. Chachornia, C-H-A-C-H-O-R-N-I-A. I love it.

They don't even have Wikipedia pages. They don't have, they've, they've done nothing besides this. There don't even appear to be photos of them on the internet. They're not real. When you Google their names, all you get is pumpkin head, two blood wings. They popped into our universe, wrote this movie and then left again. Gone forever. Incredible. There's just, they don't exist. It's weird. Okay, go on. I'm not just wildly searching for the Chechornia brothers. I assume they're brothers. So the gang is worried that Jenny's gonna squeal on them because they did some research and found

out that she got off on another crime. Right. There was a file on somebody's desk. Yeah. I don't know. Who cares? And then we get this flashback of the sheriff remembering the time that he met Tommy Yeah, Tommy was playing over the mine shaft with this fire truck This fire truck which will come in again at the end and I have no fucking idea why but I can't wait to talk about it Chekhov's fire truck. Not even!

If you're gonna introduce a fire truck in this third act, maybe it's going to show back up in the third act. And at the end of the third act. One of the teens at one point says, what if we brought him back to life and he's out there killing people? Yes, movie. What if? Yes, I assume Marcy.

That's probably what happened. You read ahead in the script. God damn it. Jesus Christ, why can't you just stay on the day we're on? So when the sheriff was at the postman's house, he had found a like PO box key or something. Yeah, a lock box, a safety safe. Yeah, safety deposit box.

And he goes there and there's a bunch of clippings about Tommy. One of the headlines is deformed boy runs wild in woods. Hell of a headline. And I'm like, yeah, good on him. Good for him. Why do I've written here? Eat your heart, make you watch. I don't know. Fuck if I know, dude. I have no to just say things like dramatic moon. I don't know the fuck I was referencing.

Glad my seven year old doesn't play by the old abandoned railroad mine shaft. I'm glad she doesn't. Yeah. So he saved Tommy's life. Yeah. Yeah. Cause Tommy almost fell in chasing after his fire truck. And the news reported that he hanged himself,

which is what he finds out in these clippings. Oh, is that so? Yes. Okay. Okay. And while they're looking at this, he's with his wife, the sheriff's wife, she goes, why would he keep these clippings on? Why would a retired mailman keep these clippings under lock and key? Fuck, she's the best detective they've got. What is the mayor's plan for pumpkin head? He's just doing a bit of a jaws bit where he's like, we'll have people come in and look at pumpkin head. It's like big foot or something. And I was like, remember how you got pardoned for a cocaine conviction.

Jeff Burr really had a lot of points to make about the importance of small town elections. It's's funny. Oh, so the kids go back to the grave cause they want to see if it's indeed empty. Guess what it is. Shocker. Cut to cock fights. Wait, no, while they're there, what's her face? Marcy. Yeah. Marcy is wearing a baby doll dressed denim vest boots combo. I thought Jeff Burr.

You fucking pad. You got fashion aesthetic? You fucking, you fucking auteur. Maybe it is the same outfit from the other movie? No, it's not. Okay, okay. But it's still pretty good. Yeah, we go to a cock fight.

Cock fight. You don't see a lot of cock fights. Thankfully. Yeah. Who is at the cock fight? Katie, a man eating fried chicken. Uh, well, the brother of the man eating fried chicken is played by one Kane hotter. Oh, that's why he looked familiar.

The guy who's eating fried chicken, pulled it out of his fucking overalls pocket and I was like, I'm kind of into that. Yeah, no, I absolutely love that. As a child, I used to tie cereal around drawstrings like, you know, like Cheerios. Yeah. Yeah. And then I absolutely love that. As a child, I used to tie cereal around drawstrings, like Cheerios. Yeah, and then I would eat it. Obviously. Then that part of the story told itself, didn't it? And I would soak them in milk,

soak my drawstrings in milk. Disgusting. Oh, we took Ian Hodders, the one fucking his sister? Yeah. Great. This is such a weird moment. This is where I have the note, this film franchise does not think highly of country folk. Yeah, so the one guy's abusive to his deaf sister

and the other one is fucking her. Right, and then there's a third guy who just runs up and is like, hi, I'm the third one. I had no fucking idea who he was. He just runs up and goes, oh God, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Ah.

It's just that the wind had started blowing as far as I could tell. He's like my dog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Help. Did you like one of them guys getting pecked at by the cocks?

Yeah. When the guy who was eating chicken previously falls into a chicken coop, they peck his eyes out. And I was like, hell yeah, Chicken revenge. Yeah. Chicken revenge. Pumpkin, the deaths in the scene are weird. Like pumpkin head. I'm pretty sure just moshes one of them. Yeah. Cause his limbs don't work sups well. He's got all those dicks on his shoulders and maybe on his elbows too. Yeah. He's got a lot of knobby bits. Yeah. Oh my God. But now the sister is all catatonic.

Yeah. Yeah, because she saw her brother's butt to death. And she's deaf and mute, so she can't communicate in any way whatsoever. Some real Titus Andronicus shit here, you know? So stupid. Or counterpoint, it's very stupid. I mean, she could draw a pumpkin head. What? Yeah.

Are those dicks on his shoulder? Yeah. Yeah. Just no, you can't know you. Nope. Nope. Nope. She can't hear you. She can't hear you. Just draws an arrow pointing to it and then gives the thumbs up. Oh man. So dad's reading up on the occult specifically on people coupling with the devil. Yeah. Fucking Jersey devil over here. And mom comes running in, Beth comes running in. She's like, you know what,

you know what this is? You know what I have here? You know what this is? It's Beth's sweater. You know what? It smells like smoke. I mean, I know we live in a place where people have campfires constantly, but this smells like smoke. Again. She's a detective. Yeah. Yeah. And dad's like, so she was at the fire where that old lady got burned up. We learned that, uh that someone has just claimed, wait, how does this go? Oh, that Tommy's body was like,

they go back through the coroner records and Miss Ossie had just claimed his body. You can't just claim somebody's body, can you? It's not like a lost and found. You head down to City Hall, you can get a couple bodies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called the Birkin hair loss. They literally say, even though they weren't related,

you can't just be like, I'll take that one. It's coming home with me. Did she fuck the devil or not? I need to know. She didn't. She didn't. She did not. She's not his mom.

Then why is she connected to him? Because there was a witch in the first movie and they watched part of it. Oh, I see. I see. You get it now? Yeah, thank you. Oh my God. But now Miss Ozzie is dead.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we got the previous information because the doctor who lives with them just walked into the kitchen and told them that information. This is where they're like snuggling, yeah. Well, when she, yes, so Miss Ozzie dies and then she comes back from the dead and she's like exposition, exposition, exposition. Before I died, I was the guardian of his soul. And oh,

this is where we learned that pumpkin had Fox because he fucked a lady and gave her a baby pumpkin head, which was Tommy. Yeah. Good thing she could move the plot along with all this knowledge. And then the sheriff is like, tell me how to stop them. And she's like, exactly. I will tell you right now. Do you think when pumpkin heads fucks, he gives you like the option, like, do you want

shoulder? I've got a crotch one. I've got a couple of my elbows. I think it flows naturally. Like the changing of positions, you know, he's a generous lover. He can't help but be a generous lover. Have you seen all those dicks? Once done, you move on to the next one.

It's terrible. I can't believe I say this shit in public, Alan. I'm a 41 year old professional woman. Listen, I need to take like seven or eight tabs of Cialis before I'm going to be able to do this. I got to get all these fuckers up. Got to hit my bloodstream. So God help us all.

After she tells them all the exposition, she then dies for the second time. And that's when the doctor turns to the sheriff, places her hand gingerly over his heart and then rests her head on it. I'm like, you have A, done this before. That's what I was about to say. Exactly what I was about to say. And B, that is way too intimate for you having a job together.

Does Beth know about this? He just got here, he's new. He's new. Jesus wept, you know what I mean? Yeah. She's like, I'm your daddy. Fucking Dr. Petticoat. Oh, so we learn at this point that the red wings were a gang.

That explains the blood wings. Speaking of POV, we are at one point POV of yearbooks being picked up off of a desk. Yeah, that was funny. I thought that was very funny. And yes, they find a picture of the group and they're like, who are these guys? That's the judge. Dun dun dun. He's the big bad guy who stabbed Tommy at the beginning of the movie. So I didn't realize that three people were killed in the cock fight scene. I thought it was just Kane Hodder and the chicken eating brother. I thought the other guy mustachio guy. I understand that now,

but it wasn't made clear to me because also I'm an idiot, but they kept being like, five men are dead. There's only one left and it's a judge. And I was like, four men are dead. This was a, a, a group of high schoolers that were in the same class who were of wildly divergent ages. I mean, it's ridiculous.

Ernst is like 33 if he's a day. Oh, OK. And the judge is like 57 if he's a day. And Red, the retired mailman, is somewhere in the middle, I guess? Yeah, somewhere in the middle. I don't know. Like right around my age.

You know, an agent that very quickly might be interested in. God, I wonder if she's on cameo. All I need is her saying would and that's just the end. That it can be the end of it. Yeah, she is. How much? Uh, a hundred. Uh, this is a hundred plus a hundred. 100, well, don't you worry about it. Christmas is coming.

This is where I got the ad for Modelo Chalada. I said I like that. Chalada. How do you spell that? I spelled it C-H-E-L-A-D-A. C-H-E-L-A-D-A. Probably not the way it's really spelled. No, that's it. Oh.

Beer with lime juice and pairing it with a salt rimmed glass is a chalada. Was it a micalada? Michalada? What's a michalada? Hmm, oh, is that where you put micalobe and lime juice together? No, I guess chalada is slang short

for the Spanish word michalada. Oh. I'm an idiot, I'm sorry. You're fine. Anyway, I'll Cholata is slang short for the Spanish word Michelada. Oh. I'm an idiot, I'm sorry. You're fine. Anyway, I'll pick it up. I bet they have it at Liberty Beer. It just sounded tasty. I think it sounds great.

Like a nice summery treat. Summery treat. So, oh, and... Where the fuck are we? Oh, Mrs. Ozzie has given the sheriff a totem of pumpkin head. It's just like some hay straw. It was a doll, wasn't it? Yeah.

Or was that last week? No, that's what this week. Okay. That belonged to Tommy, I guess. I guess so, and it's supposed to keep you safe from pumpkin head or something? I think it's meant to remind him of his humanity. What? Yeah, I don't know where that came from. or something? I think it's meant to remind him of his humanity.

What? Yeah, I don't know where that came from. In the next scene, Jenny's father-in-law here, the judge is like, hope you got protection, honey, to this teenage girl. You're gonna get railed by my son. Yeah, my son's gonna raw dog you if you let him, so look out. Oh yeah.

How did he get elected? Danny, it just doesn't feel the same for him. No, condoms are too small. I could see that that's not true. So she's cold. She's cold. So he gives her his dad's red wings jacket. You know why? Cause leather lasts, baby. Also for the perverts in the room,

red wings are what you get when you have sex with someone who's on their menstrual cycle. You've earned your red wings. Oh, I would just thought about Detroit, the hockey team. Sure. That's not it. No, but the logo for the Red Wings car club is the logo for the Red Wings hockey team, I believe.

It's like a tire with wings on that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's just very, cause like they keep like blood wings, red wings. And I'm like, so this is a sex thing, right? It's a sex thing. Ah, fucking hellraiser, dad.

Blame him for this. Listen, I just gotta bring a little demon sex in there. Little blood, a little sex. These two morons in Pittsburgh in like, I don't know, 30 years only know me from two things. And one of them is this movie they're watching right now. Right this moment. Anyway, Paul says that he saw Danny punch the old lady and Jenny immediately believes

him. Yeah. Yeah. And then he pulls out, Danny pulls out a gun. Him packing is so much scarier than pumpkin head. Sure. Yeah. Sure.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Impulsive teens. So much scary. Yeah. The judge calls his posse and demands to be guarded, but allows for other minor children to hang out on the property. No problem

there. And then he like comes out of the shitter or something and his house is covered in red wings. Yeah, I actually thought that was kind of cool. I thought it was nice. It just said hat everywhere. Hat hat hat hat hat hat. And then it's Colin Mochrie. Why? I have a note that says pumpkin head busted like a real drama queen.

Pumpkin head is like a real housewife of wherever. Of Farron Woods. It's a population of one housewife and it's pumpkin head. It's pumpkin head and Beth. They're always going at each other. Pumpkin head is petty. Pumpkin head comes in with so much drama. Can you shoot pumpkin head? You can, but it may not matter. Also the bullets or the bullet holes in pumpkin head comes in with so much drama. Can you shoot pumpkin head? You can, but it may not matter. Also, the bullets or the bullet holes in pumpkin head

are perfectly symmetrical, and I found that to be hilarious. I think that another thing that I like about this pumpkin head is that his sort of resting face is really smiley. He looks like a dog that's smiling, and I think that's very cute. Yeah, he's just so happy. The thing you might not know is that pumpkin head can't sweat. Oh, so he has to pant. So yeah, the judge is getting tossed all around. He's being tossed off by pumpkin head. Uh,

Here I have a lot of notes about, uh, Paul Polly, who is a, I just like went into a spiral of if skeet Ulrich is bunko Johnny Depp, he's a bunko skeet Ulrich Ulrich Ulrich Ulrich. He looks like the love child of skeet and Billy Zane. I don't know. I was just hung up on his terrible like costuming that he has on. I wish I knew a single song from Pirates of Penzance.

Isn't my I am the time I am the model of a modern major general. Oh really? I think so. I think that's a Pirates of Penzance. You would know that. Oh Paul gets thrown through a window. Yeah he's dead. Yeah he's dead because he was supposed to go start the car. Maybe pumpkin head has tinkered with the card. Pete goes, the power's dead. And so are we. That's why you have so few lines, Pete. This is punky down. Punky down. Yeah. Punky is down. She gets impaled like Vlad, the impaler style.

Yeah. She gets staked and then her boyfriend gets staked to her like kebab. He impales them together on a tree with their foreheads touching for their love. Because pumpkin head knows what it is to fuck, you know, to make sex. He does it. And then he points at his shoulder dicks. It's like, he does like the shoulder shimmy, you know, like that, you know, that, that gif of shack. It looks like a cat grinning ready to chase something. Yeah.

That's where I don't have a note that says, ha ha ha, pumpkin head has jokes. Fuck. And then the posse shows up and here's where we get the one man of color in the film. Well, first they rip up, pumpkin head rips off Danny's head and throws it. Oh, that's right.

And I thought that was great. And also the actor playing Danny has a great like high pitched scream that was totally out of place. And I thought it was fantastic. If you're going to give your villain character ginormous hands, God, have you ripping people in half? Yeah. I really wanted him to rip Danny in half and he just took his head off. It was very stringy though, which I liked. It was very stringy though, which I liked. It was very stringy.

So the sheriff shows up and he's like, hey man. Hey Tommy. We're friends. Remember when I saved you? Yeah. Talking nice, giving him his doll. That's my daughter. Here's this dumb doll that you're dead, I guess. Friend. Foster mother. Foster mother. He's like, that's my daughter.

She's not one of them. She never gets in trouble. And Pumkin head's like, actually she was at the house and could have helped. She absolutely could have your daughter's kind of a piece of shit. She was there when they did the ritual. Yeah, she could have called you. You're literally the sheriff. Yeah.

You asked her a number of times what was wrong. So like, She's wearing the jacket of the men who killed me. Listen, you're making my shoulders go soft, buddy. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, I got to cash in this favor with pumpkin head. And then the fucking posse shows up

and they shoot pumpkin head. This is where I wrote, I fucking believe in pumpkin head. I hurt for pumpkin head. Fucking bur where I wrote, I fucking believe in pumpkin head. I hurt for pumpkin head. Fucking burr got you. Yeah. It's all the high fives are all around after they get pumpkin head. Do they drop him down into the mineshaft and then pumpkin head explodes at a ball of fire? Yeah. Why? And I was like, why? Why pumpkin head do that? Maybe pumpkin head is made of Flint.

Was the pump in pumpkin head for gas pump? They wrap this all up with a loving father daughter relationship. Yeah. Yeah. This is like the next day or whatever. She does not seem shook that all of her new friends are dead. And we're killed by a monstrous creature that nearly killed her. But then describe the last scene of this movie to me. Oh, I don't remember. The fire truck. Oh, he finds a fire truck in the debris

around the pumpkin head explosion in the mine. And he says, how did it get up here? And then he opens the like, pulls up the ladder. Yeah. And then says, huh. As you do. And then the credits roll. Yeah. Wait, did pumpkin head climb that ladder?

It's only three inches tall. What does it mean? Alan, what does it mean? Alan, what does it mean? My last note just says, sweet Christ. Oh, Katie. Alan, what did you think of? Katie. Pumpkin head two. Oh, it's a, what did you think of? Katie. Wolfkin had to.

Oh, it's a steaming pile of shit. I can't believe you're saying this. Unbelievably enjoyable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After this movie, this movie is far superior to last week's movie. Last week's Jeff Burr. Jeff Burr picked up the pace.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He learned from his mistakes. Yeah, but he kept some of the good parts. Sure. Like cans labeled beer and denim vests and small town elections. Baby doll dresses, vests, and combat boots. Exactly.

And this movie is a solid four, but I would say it's for all of you to go watch. It's a real pleasure. Katie, what did you think of it? I think four is fair. I'm gonna give it two for Pumpkinhead 2 and then two for Linnea Quigley's titties. That's perfect, thank you so much.

Oh, sorry, yeah, I gotta bump it up to a five actually because Linnea Quigley's titties. I found it weird that you would do that to Linnea. I just need a super cut of all of her scenes from movies. I think that's called what you'll see in the moments before you die. When it's not your life flashing before your eyes, it's just all of her titty shots.

It's just a Mr. Skin style retrospective of Linnea Quigley's tits. Who could ask for anything more? She's a dreamboat. perspective of LaNay and Quigley's tits. Who could ask for anything more? She's a dreamboat. Smooth, smooth crotch dreamboat. Katie, speaking of dreamboats, can I read you a message we got from a Patron? I would love that.

This is from Gavin. Hi, Gavin. Ooh, Gavin Rossdale, presumably. Nope. Hi, Katie and Alan. Hi, Gavin Rossdale, presumably. Nope. Hi, Katie and Alan. Hi, Gavin. So happy to be a Patron finally. Oh, thank you for becoming one.

You guys have made this horror fan so happy with your humor and friendship, carrying a great podcast that I just can't get enough of. Oh, thank you. Luckily, there's like 500 and some episodes of this nonsense. Seriously, you could spend the rest of your life listening to us do this. I drive a box truck for work and we'll have you guys playing all day long while delivering

them and often paired with one of my best friends as my helper. So I've had the opportunity to put him onto you guys. Thank you. That's delightful. Hello, best friend. Hello, Gavin's best friend. I'm Alan's best friend. Oh, I'm some cockles and I am Katie's. I, no, I'm probably not.

No, we can be each other's best. You can have more than one best friend. Can you? Yeah. But then they have to fight to the death. Who do I have to take out? Vicky probably. I don't know. She'll look my ass. I don't think she would do it for me though. She'd whoop your ass for herself. She'd like in my sleep kill me. Yeah, Vicky is treacherous.

Sorry, you were saying Gavin. Sorry, this is about Gavin and his best friend. It's nice having a place where there's so much open-mindedness in a world full of assholes. Oh, thank you for saying that It means the world. We try. Yeah, I know recommendations can be hard on you guys It's hard on me to ignore them So I won't give anything too crazy, but I recently watched the film Y2K and the whole film And the whole film could only think of what you guys would say about it.

Along with that, Sinners was a beautiful film that I recommend everyone see. I love you guys and thank you for making the world feel less lonely as we navigate the current nightmare. Oh, thank you for saying that. Jesus. P.S. Yeah. I usually am of the mind that you guys are never wrong. Pfft. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the antagonist is very interesting and easy to feel sympathy for. All right, all right. Look, I don't think my opinions about the Irish are right.

I think they're passed down and bad. And also like 95% a joke. Yeah, yeah. Gavin, thank you for becoming a Patron. Thank you for writing in. Thank you for all your kind words and thank you for the movie suggestion. Yes.

Thank you for everything. Thank you for being Gavin. Yeah, and thank you for being Gavin's best friend, Gavin's best friend. Yeah, thank you too. And hand him that package quicker. Gavin's got shit to do. Seriously, Gavin's driving.

Give him fucking better directions. Get off your phone. Look at the map. Or get on your phone and look at a map. Yeah, or that. Because maps are on phones. Carry on then. It's Katie.

Alan. I had an idea. Okay. For what our next movie should be. It's not Y2K, is it? It's not Y2K. It's not Sinners, is it? Because I can't get to the theater. No, I had an idea. Okay. For what our next movie should be. It's not Y2K, is it? It's not Y2K. It's not centers, is it?

Cause I can't get to the theater. No, I wouldn't suggest that to you. Although I do recommend people see it in the theater. Oh, I wanna see it. I wanna see it desperately. I just can't find time. I was thinking, well, I was thinking I wanted to do something goofy

because I really enjoyed watching Blood Wings, Blood Wings of Pumpkinhead, Blood Wings. And so I was like, let me look at goofy eighties movies. So I went to Reddit and looked up goofy eighties movies and one of the first ones was Lake Placid and I was like, that came out in 1999. Also, how have we never fucking done Lake Placid? I've never seen Lake Placid. Katie, I suggest we do Lake Placid next week.

I mean, I said that I would say no if I didn't want to and I am saying yes. Yay! Who can say no to our first Betty White film? What? If Betty White's in Lake Placid. Oh yeah. Yeah.

All right, let me put it on the list. Bill Pullman is also in Lake Placid. Really? Star-studded cast. Star-studded cast? So come back for Lake Placid. We're never gonna get to this one that I just keep pressing enter twice in front

of DRWave. Katie. Yeah. When you're doing that, you're pushing the other seven that have been on the list that we're never going to get to. One, two, three, four, five. I only have six, so. Okay.

Okay. Uh. Are you putting Y2K on that list? Yep. I want, I just want to do that one so I can talk about my friend Christina's Y2K museum, which I need to figure out how to make into a 501C3 charity so we can accept donations. It's a whole thing.

You said a lot of things right there. It's a whole thing. Come back for Lake Placid. We might have more information about this Y2K museum. We just have to call Christina and get her to talk about it, but not tell her she's being recorded. Christina, call into the Google voicemail and explain this to talk about it, but not tell her she's being recorded. Christina, call into the Google voicemail and explain this to us.

Yes. Thank you to everyone who listens. Yeah. Thank you to everyone who's a Patron. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who's bought merch recently. T-Public. That's all.

Wait, I'll find the ambulance. Yeah, fuck. Thank you to everyone who is supporting their local PBS and NPR stations. Thank you to everyone who like is doing whatever they can to make this world a little less shitty. Um, and even if that's just looking after yourself, that's wonderful. Yeah. Uh, no, make it worse. Don't make it worse. Yeah. That's all I need you to do is not make it worse. Uh, we love you. Yep. Be kind to yourself and to others.

Yep. And thank you for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. It's not like how you gestured at me, but fine. Do it again. Gestured at something else. Thank you for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye-bye. episode of Werewolf And You Laugh. Bye! Many acts aint on deadpools, so many sightings at the pool

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