Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 523- Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987)

Episode Date: June 9, 2025

In this week's episode, we're discussing an utterly spectacular sequel with 1987's "Slumber Party Massacre 2." Special topics for your consideration include: the male equivalent of a butterface (buthisface? it just doesn't work), preferred methods of taking in calcium, too-many-teeth disease, the classic song "Wipeout," and HELEN FROM WIIIIIIIINGS! We covered the original "Slumber Party Massacre" so early on...it was Episode 18. Want to see some more actors from "Wings" because OF COURSE YOU DO?? You may enjoy Episode 149- "Single White Female" starring Brian. Brian from Wings. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. If you get in now, you can vote in our June-Claude Van Damme month poll! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.comif you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Helen from Wings! Helen from Wings! Helen from Wings, Helen from Wings. When this movie started, I was like, who is that lady? I think she's real hot and I have thought she's real hot for a real long time. Yeah. It's fucking Helen from Wings. I saw the name Crystal Bernard in the opening credits and I was like, that's fucking Helen from Wings. That's fucking Helen from Wings.

I don't want to name shame, but that's not a hot name crystal Bernard her pet peeves are yeah she likes men who spend money on her yes and men with too many teeth in their goddamn heads. Oh man, what movie are we talking about this week? Slumber Party Massacre 2. The Driller Killer. It has been, is that really the parenthetical? Yeah, we had this debate last time. Oh my god. It doesn't sound right, but okay.

Because the first movie had a Driller Killer murderer too. And there is another entirely different, not part of this oof movie called The Driller Killer. You can't do that. No, you can't. So I remember very little about when we covered Slumber Party Massacre, the original. Because it was almost 11 years ago at that point. I remember the drill.

I remember the pool. And I remember it being like funny in ways it wasn't meant to be. And there was suddenly a body in a refrigerator. Okay. Like out of nowhere. If you say so. Yeah. And that was the episode where we did our one and only interview.

Who was it? I don't even remember at this point. Good. That person's probably dead. So every time a publicist sends me a message, it's like, hey, I'm a big fan of your podcast. Suck my flaps, you are not. We were wondering if we could get Ricky Sticky on there

to talk about the new movie we're doing. We got an offer from Ricky Sticky and you didn't tell me? We get hundreds of offers from Ricky Sticky. Ricky Sticky, come on, leave us alone. Oh, before we get too into this, poor went out for a real one. Yeah. Mark Maron is gonna stop podcasting. Oh my God. I thought something bad actually happened.

He's a pod father, man. I thought we were the pod parents. When did he start? Like 2015? 15 years. So like just barely before us. Yeah. Whatever. We've achieved the same levels of success. Yes. I was in the Glow reenactment television show.

I actually thought he was great in that. He was, that was a great show. It was such a good show. I wish they hadn't canceled it. Dude, the abortion episode of that show is so fucking good. So fucking good. Glow. So good. And I grew up watching Glow, which was, you know. So fucking good. Glow. So good.

And I grew up watching Glow, which was, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a question. We'll try to answer. Did girls actually used to sleep in those little white night dresses that teen girls are always wearing in the 80s? 100%. Movies?

Okay, just wondering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Doesn't seem right. Yeah. Seems too Victorian. No, I mean, I can remember my sister sleeping in something akin to that. All right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean, my mom always slept in nightgowns. Seems so. And like satiny nightgowns. I'm wieldy. I get wrapped up in my fucking underwear. I don't need a fucking nightgown.

You need to check your underwear size. That should not happen. I've read GQ. You should buy your underwear 11 sizes bigger than you are. Is that just so your dick can fill it? So it's like a goldfish? It like learns to grow to the house. OK.

All right. All right. She's having a good dream. You think it's a good dream. there's this dude with abs doing sport, and then he turns around and you're like, ah! He's such a butter face. A butt his face? A butt his face.

It's a butt his face. I first noticed just an hour and 15, let's fucking go. Honestly, it was such a delight that it was so short. Directed by a lady, Deborah Bach. So was the first one written and directed by, or at least written by a woman. Yeah. And you can tell this movie is written by a woman

because all of the girl's friends are like, we're just really worried about you. They're not like, they're not terrible. No one ever does a shaving cream shower scene. No. Yeah, so she's dreaming about this football stud. We'll call him a stud. I call him teeth because he has way too many teeth in his head.

Maybe she's into that. He has Farrousa Bulk Disease. Where do you put so many teeth? His goddamn mall. Honestly. Freddie Mercury had all them extra teeth and he thought that's what made him such a great singer. I think he was thew. Honestly. Freddie Mercury had all them extra teeth and he thought that's what made him such a great singer. I think he was the best.

Yeah. But he had too many teeth in his fucking head. But the football dream starts being broken up by flashbacks to the first movie. Which feature Crystal Bernard, who was not in the first movie. No, no. And also would have been a child.

Sure. Okay, very good. And at some point they're like, you helped stop the killer with your no. And also would have been a child. Sure. Okay, very good. And at some point they're like, you helped stop the killer with your sister. And I was like, did she? Did she? But I feel like that's a very common thing with all these sequels of just introducing a new character

and being like, yes, you were in the first movie. Howling. Remember? I mean, Courtney was a character in the first movie. Sure. Not Crystal Bernard. Not Crystal Bernard. Not fucking Helen from Wings. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the second a character in the first movie. Not Crystal Bernard. Not Crystal Bernard. Not fucking Helen from Wings.

Yeah. I mean, the second phantasm totally switched up, who played the lead kid too. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. Was James Legros in the second movie. It's me and the guys with too many teeth in their mouth. Too many fucking teeth.

So her mom is mad about whether or not she's all right and whether or not she loves her. So mad. So her. So mad. So mad. So mad. I haven't heard this since her mom's a little intense. Her mom's pretty intense. She has another daughter, Valerie, the protagonist of the first movie, I guess.

Who is in a mental institution, apparently. She's in asylum. But not Crystal Bernard, not Helen from Wings. No, she's kept it together, quote unquote. This is Courtney. Courtney Bates, Crystal Bernard, coincidence? Wait, her last name is Bates? It sure fucking is.

So this fits into this theory that I have. Tell me. This movie is all a warning to young girls to fucking masturbate. If she jerked it, this movie would not be an issue. You really think so? You think this is an allegory for pent up sexual frustration? Dude, the killer is a handsome man who comes and penetrates everyone to death.

You like that rockabilly look, huh? He's not a bad looking dude. He's not a bad looking dude. Not a bad looking dude. No, I do not like that rockabilly look. Well, you might do not like the Rockefeller he looks like Nicolas Cage watch it maybe went yeah that's what I want to look that's I'm that guy I want to be that guy forever yeah it's Nicolas Cage meets the Lost Boys and you push them together 100% your worms Michael but yeah I just think that like,

had she just like cranked it out a couple times, everything would have been fine. I mean, I would believe that if this movie didn't also like blatantly use Kruger and Craven as last names, where you're just like, guys, we've been down this road. You know? And it's not like the like, what is it in, your, I have good news and bad news

your boyfriend's your dates are here but they're dead uh what night of the comp no not night of the comet night of the creeps yes thank you yeah yeah where everyone's got a name of a horror director yeah yeah yeah like oh it's carpenter and it's what then this one's just like craven and krueger that's all we have yes craving grew and baits is the and Bates is the Norman Bates I assume is not a real person nor is no or Cathy. You're like everybody likes Cathy Bates, right? Oh, sure. Matlock. She's currently at a reboot of Matlock. How's that going? I fucking know. I'm not that old. Sorry. I assumed you were. Did you catch in this month's Reader's Digest? Sorry I assumed you were. Did you catch in this month's Reader's Digest?

The way they condensed this novel was so good. So good. Helen from Wings runs funny, I like that. She's running across her lawn, you're like, oh no, Helen. Also, why isn't her mother Southern? Is she Southern? Her accent is insanely Southern.

Okay, strong disagree, but okay. Really? I feel like she's, no, I don't know. Maybe I missed it. I think she sounded, like I thought she sounded southern on wings too. I think that's just how she taught. Where's Helen, where's Helen from Wings from?

I don't know. Let's, why don't you guess? You're the Wings, I'm gonna say Tennessee. Tennessee. Garland, Texas. Oh, there we go. Yeah, right. If at some point in this movie, she went, golly,

I would not have been surprised. In my defense. I watched it at 1.3 speed. Everything sounds like it's a bit of a Southern accent. Can't tell. So she goes outside and she sees a stabbed bird on the street. It was stabbed. Okay. All right. Which was a call back to the first movie. Was it? Why? Because I don't know in a flashback, she saw a stabbed bird in that too.

Okay. Okay. And then she gets picked up by her realtor. Accountant. Realtor. Why is she wearing that blazer? She looks like she's trying to sell her house. And then they sing everyone's favorite song. I just love going through the motions. I want to have fun with you.

Tokyo, Tokyo convertible. Tokyo convertible. By the band Firstborn. Is this real? Apparently they were a band. Okay. Cause I looked it up and it said Firstborn not to be confused with the gospel band. Yeah, that's really, you're really dipping into some Jesus shit there. Yeah. Yeah. They run into Matt, this is the guy from the dream. Yeah, Teepee.

He's teeth. He is 45 and a computer scientist, so why does he need to worry about it being a school day? They're both 35, so it's fine. I mean, they're age appropriate for one another. Her realtor is also of an age of a vintage. She's a realtor. Also, spoiler alert for later in this movie,

her realtor has great boobs. I don't think we see the realtor's boobs. In a bikini. Oh yes, in that scene, yes. Also, I want every swimsuit in this movie. I want every last one of them. I think there's also a shirt you really need to get in this movie.

Which one is that? The all around fringed t-shirt that she wears out of the house. Fuck yes. The fringe is like starting at mid mid chest and ending about nip. Yeah. It's really good. It's a real clavicle sewn on, but all the way around.

All the way around. And I think there might have been some like rhinestones above. Yeah. Yeah. Some sort of detailing. It's not one of those cool beach shirts where they just fringe out a t-shirt. You know where they like cut a t-shirt into fringes? Oh yeah.

She's wearing one of those later. Yeah. She cuts the later. Yeah, yeah. She cuts the sleeves, yeah. But this one has like put on fringes, like Nina Garcia would definitely throw some shade on you for doing that for your outfit. Except for the season that had Sean Kelly on it

where he put fringe on everything and they fucking loved it. Oh really? Yeah. And then sometimes they just latch onto someone doing a dumb thing. And they're like, wow, that's fantastic. The current season I'm watching, this guy puts a corset on everything.

And it's like, again? I feel like I've seen that one. It's like very impressive to make a corset, but like, corsets aren't that wearable. Yeah, come on, Garosferro. Are corsets even fashion? Yeah, of course. I love wearing a corset.

Yeah, you do look great in a corset though. It accentuates your waist. My tits look great. So fucking great. They're in a band! You know how much I love a girl band. Sure, sure. How about a girl band that can't actually play

their instruments and just holds their hand in one position the entire time they're playing? How about a band that dances like the Bangles do in the Walk Like an Egyptian video? Who knew P? Fucking every band I was in, I tried to convince to do some sort of choreographed dance. Nobody would ever do it.

I wanted to do like a coordinated jump, like a pop punk band. Everyone always said no. Try and get everyone to spin their guitars around as well. That pop punk thing of doing the choreographed jump. It was like, what song do you think you're playing that you should be jumping like that? I don't know. I liked it. Not for me, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Their singer is Sheila. She's dressed like a sassy administrative assistant.

Yeah. She's got like a cold shoulder blouse, a sensible mini hose and kitten heels, which is fine cause she doesn't need to kick on any pedals. And she is giving off horny as fuck the entire time she's on screen. She's fantastic. Yeah. Sheila rules.

The drummer's playing a hi-hat that isn't on her drum set, which I really appreciate it. It shows up once later on in the movie, and I was like, oh, they remember the hi-hat that isn't on her drum set, which I really appreciate it. It shows up once later on in the movie, and I was like, oh, they remember the hi-hat. Yeah, that's good. So they're playing a song about having a crush on a boy. I think that's what all their songs are about, which is fine.

And who rolls up to watch their band practice? It's fucking Teeth. Teeth. The realtor invited him. You ever show up to somebody else's band practice? Yes, I have. You know what the most boring thing on earth up to somebody else's band practice? Yes, I have. You know what the most boring thing on earth is? Someone else's band practice.

Exactly. Sometimes your own band practices are boring. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then having to sit at someone else's, listen to them argue? No thank you. No thank you, hooray for everything. Oh my god. So they stop the song after, well they finish the song after they finished the song. They finished the

song and then someone says my favorite line in the whole movie. What's that? Hey, can you grab me a slice? Can grab me a slice. Yep. I was like, slice. What a delicious drink. Slice was I assumed it was pizza until she opened the refrigerator. Yeah. Uh, teeth walks up behind Helen from wingsings and he goes, I like your music and then just puts his hand on her shoulder, I don't like that at all. She fucking nutted when he did that. Yeah, she loved it.

There's no like, will they, won't they, there's no buildup, they're just like, I have a crush on you, I fucking would die for you. I'm actually married to you now. I'm actually married to you and your giant earrings. I think I'm gonna get into giant earrings, what do you think? Those earrings look great, I remember them in the giant earrings. I think I'm gonna get into giant earrings. What do you think? Those earrings look great.

I remember them in the eighties, I think they look great. I think you'd also look great in a dangly earring. I know you're not down to clown, but. I'm down to clown. Do you think I should get like an across like Barry Bonds? Sure, or an upside down cross like most metal bands. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know, I like Barry Bonds better than metal. Our girl Courtney, AKA Crystal Bernard, sorry for name shaming earlier. AKA Helen from Wings, go on. Helen from Wings. She's wearing like these big white, like not, they're hoop shaped, but they're not hoop earrings. It's a dangle with a big white circle at the bottom.

Yeah, it looks fucking cool. I'm getting those earrings, I'm doing it. I'm gonna be a big earring person. I love that. A statement earring. Statement earring, I was gonna say, you're also gonna be getting the statement necklaces. Oh no, not necklaces.

No, no, that's for someone to choke you with. I don't want that. That's how you get attacked. Should I get back into chokers? Should I start wearing chokers again? I think they'd be hidden by your beard. That's true, that's true. Yeah, just be a waste.

Should I shave my beard and start wearing chokers? I like the idea of you wearing a choker and having a very close cropped beard. I think this could be a new era of Alan. Or a return to an older era of Alan. Yeah, six of one, half dozen of the other, right? Oh man. So she makes out and then she makes sure

to make out in front of her friends before Matt leaves. They like it though. They're supportive of her. They're happy for her. There's no strife between these women, which I really appreciate. I really like this thing that the director's doing where she does this. Like when someone's talking to someone else, they are each in these like perfectly framed, like almost portraits.

Yes. Where like Helen from wings is always at like a three quarter angle and teeth is always straight on. Straight on. Which makes you think maybe he's the killer, even though you see the killer. And it adds to like this dreamlike quality of the film. It's true.

I mean, I have here, they keep shooting him straight on and he looks like a serial killer. Yeah. Like, it's eerie. Yeah, he's giving Bundy vibes. Yeah. Yeah. Did Bundy have too many teeth in his head? Probably.

Yeah, sounds right. So, he's not hot. Come on, everybody. Ted Bundy. Yeah. No, he have too many teeth in his head? Probably. Yeah, sounds right. So he's not hot. Come on, everybody. Ted Bundy. Yeah. No, he's just a regular dude. He's just not as ugly as most serial killers, which is like-

Richard Ramirez. Yeah. Well, a lot of people thought Richard Ramirez was hot. Did he get married in jail? Of course, don't they all? Yeah. But he's no like, I don't know. Nice guys can't find a date

and Richard Ramirez is getting married in jail. This is some real incel shit you're doing now. Good thing you have a partner. If we want to start getting big on the internet, I'm going to go incel. Okay, but first I want to talk about what's happening in this scene. I got to get through this episode before you go full incel. You go trad wife, I'll go incel. It'll work out perfectly.

This thing will go through the fucking roof. But we won't be together. Yeah, we can't be in the same room. We can't be in the same room. Right, you can't be in here. Because you're a man I'm not married to. Because your husband would have to be here to okay this. Exactly.

Like a dildo. Yeah. All right, so I'm sorry, I interrupted you. What's happening in this scene is that at band practice, it appears to be like late afternoon. It seems to be after school. They're playing the song. They do like a whole song. And then when she's talking to him outside, it's nighttime. And then when they walk back to the garage, it's daytime

again. A conversation was so long. So long. It's like, where's Don Doller with his intermittent snow and you need him, you know? We should do a Doller next week. Oh, we should. Think about that. We'll talk about it when we get to the end of the episode. Yeah. It'll, it'll be pertinent to an email we received. Yes!

Okay, great! So, she goes home to have dinner with mom. Eating slop. Pure slop. It's just like, it looks like Chef Boyardee threw up. You leave Chef Boyardee out of this. He's a great Italian American. He's a Franco-American, if you will.

He's got a statue in Omaha Nebraska. It's the only cool thing in Omaha. It was just that like that that color tomato sauce which is the orange tomato sauce that's ever existed. It was very gross. I mean I would eat it right fucking now if you put it in front of me. Meatballs that taste like no meat you've ever had in your life. I don't think they're meat. Yeah I don't think they're meat. Yeah, I don't think they're balls. Sawdust and, yeah. And she is drinking a glass of milk with a plate of spaghetti

and I almost threw the fuck up. I just, no shade if you're an adult who drinks, actually shade, what you doing? Like what's it like? What is it like to be an adult who drinks milk? Why don't you ask them in 20 years when their bones are still solid and yours are falling the fuck apart?

Do you know how much cheese I eat though? I eat my milk. I put my milk on a cracker. I'm more of a hard milk girl. I'm a hard milk, I am, I'm a hard milk girl. And they like hard sci-fi. I'm a butter boy, a big fan of butter. I'm a butter boy. I'm a big fan of butter. You're a butter boy.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Mr. Barrington bought a condo. That's Sheila's dad. He bought a condo out somewhere in the desert. Yeah. In defiance of God. And yes, in defiance of God and nature. Yeah. Her mom's all like, well, he would buy a condo, that shit bag.

Her mom's all like, well, he would buy a condo that shit bag. You can't go be with your friends. You got to go to the asylum with your sister on your birthday, which I forgot. She said, yes, she says that Valerie is talking a bit and she wants to go see her. It has been roughly 12, no, roughly five years since the first movie. Yeah. And she just started talking now. I don't know about this. It doesn't sound good.

I think you need to let her work up to full sentences. Yeah, why don't you just wait it out. So she says, I'd really like to go on this trip with my friends. And her mom goes, so you don't want to see your sister? Come on, mom. That's some mom shit right there. But then she does turn it around.

Mom, she lets her go. Why is she, she was like, we'll just go next weekend then. I thought, why can't she go see Valerie without Courtney? Yeah. Oh, in this scene though, can we talk about what she's wearing? Which one? Courtney. Yeah.

She's wearing a blouse with sort of puffy sleeves, short sleeve, but finishing like above your bicep. Yeah. And then like a cap sleeved sweater over it. Okay. And then suspenders over that. Sure. It's a real good look. The eighties. There was a lot of accoutrement. I like that. I don't wear a lot of accessories, but I feel like I should start and I should just go back to the eighties and

like take my cues from there. Sure. Yeah. A lot of neon's, a lot of a. Big bracelets perhaps? Big bracelets, a chunky bracelet, yeah. I don't know, what I look, I don't know about a chunky bracelet. You look fine, you got beautiful wrists. Oh, thank you so much, everyone says that about me. That was my high school like superlative, most beautiful wrists.

I remember in the 80s I wore a lot of bracelets, a lot of friendship bracelets, like the braided. Yeah, like the neon ones. As well as one to two swatch watches. One to two, well what time is it, Alan? You might need to know. Who knows, they probably didn't have batteries. No, no.

They were probably knockoffs as well. Smotch. Twatches. She's having a dream about football again. Oh my God. And you can see her in her bed. She has the most voluminous hair. And I thought God Alan loves voluminous hair.

Oh, before she, before, before she has the dream about football, she has the, she has the phone call with the stud. Oh right. And his room is just decorated in football player. There's one that just says football. With like a guy jumping.

That's a hurdle, sir. Just like celebrating foot as well. He's got a lot of dudes on his wall, and he's sitting around in like very small undies, no shirt. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think it's great. The queer shaming of the 80s is a fucking fuckload of bullshit. That's fine, but I also don't think

he's a queer coded character. No, he's not at all. He's such a butter face though. But it also reminded me that I used to talk on the phone for fucking hours to my girlfriend. Yeah. Like fall asleep on the phone, bullshit. So lame.

So lame to be young and in love. Yeah. Gross. It is gross. Your brain is already a mush pile and then you add that into it and it just takes over everything. In this dream, she's having more flashbacks to the movie she wasn't in and she sees her sister, I guess this is Valerie, who's saying

Courtney don't go all the way. Is that about fucking? Why? I don't know. Okay. Okay. This fucking will get you killed in a slasher movie. I guess so. In this dream, she's under a bed and next to the bed is a dancing leather person. It feels very jello. It's like, oh, it's given strange land vibes. It's like, because he's like, oh, honk, honk, honk. Like why is he rockabilly? Why is he, why is this one musical? Why is this guy musical? The original killer was just like an escape serial killer.

Was he? It was like a sleaze ball on a denim like jacket. Yeah, he wanted to go after like teenage girls. This guy has a real music thing. And seemingly no motivation. No, rock and roll never dies. He's got a drill that's on the end of his guitar. They have a headless guitar that they've attached a drill to.

Oh my god. I love it. But in the spooky dream sequences, he's just shredding. He wails. He spends the entire movie wailing. He's wailing on the guitar with a drill at the top of it. With a thousand points sticking off. Yeah, it's so dangerous. It's so funny that he's just like, I'm the killer. And the shape of the guitar itself is not guitar shaped. It's got like these swoopy wings all over it. It's so dumb. There's one point where he like lifts the guitar up and you can see it from the back and you I don't know if you've seen These guitars they are they're definitely like an 80s vintage of their very small bodied. Okay and headless

Okay, so it's like got the neck but no head on it. You you tune down on the body. Okay But then they just built out that frame on top of it, that absurdly large guitar frame. It's so silly. It's the greatest silly, he's the best killer we've ever seen, hands down. He's ludicrous and I kind of love him. I don't know why, I don't know what he is.

Is he supernatural? He comes to her in dreams, but he's also just there. Yep, mm-hmm. He has her libido run amok as far as I'm concerned. Honestly, I think you might be right. He's just an allegory. His car is kind of shaped like a menstrual blood clot. There's just a lot going on there. Think about it. They're very spiky. That's not true. It's not true. To our listeners who haven't started menstruating yet,

I'm making things up. Or who will never menstruate. God bless you. You say God willing. God willing. Actually, God willing, men would start menstruating. I mean, you think you would not have tampons, just like in the armrests of every chair you ever sat in?

Seriously. So she gets picked up in the car the next morning. I love how drummers in movies are always drumming, like Tara Reid within the Josie and the Pussycats just constantly drumming on something, no matter what. I love that they're all going to a realty conference together. Yeah, they're going to a realty conference talking about going to girls' college. And this is where we learned that they're pretending that her sister Valerie is away at college. Okay

We're teenage girls this horny all the time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah nice Worked out for me. Just making sure that was the case. Just making sure everybody got to fuck They're reading a book called Hot Wet Wild, I think. That Sally says she found under her brother's mattress. What are you looking under your brother's mattress for? Like to see what my brother beats off to. Ew. That's upsetting.

100%. Yeah. I mean, but what else was she doing? Or I would like to beat off to this. What is it? I guess, I mean, both probably else was she doing? Or I would like to beat off to this. What is it? I guess, I mean, both probably. Is text porn still a thing? Cause it was a big deal when I was young.

Oh yeah, I mean, you mean like erotic novels? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yes. But like that kind of like that level of smut. Yes, it's even worse, smuttier. Yes, absolutely. I remember my one roommate when I was 19, 20, he used to come in and read bedtime stories to me from a book he had called Young Slitslerbers.

Oh, that won the Newberry Award, didn't it? I think so. Yeah, a Caldecott Medal. Which surprisingly to everyone was just a book about incest. And I was like, that title does not tell me that it's gonna be a book about incest. No, that's a should have, I mean, that's pre-trigger warnings, but come on. But it is a fantastic title for a book.

Slit slurpers. Young slit slurpers. Young slit slurpers. Some have. These geriatric slit slurpers. No, they slurp so slowly. He slurps, slurps, slurps, slurps slowly at the seashore. Is this what you all tuned in for?

Yeah. Someone recently, after the last episode, said they love it when we have nothing to say about a movie and just talk for an hour. Really? And I wondered, at the beginning of this, I was like, fucking buckle up, buttercup, because we're going in.

Not much happens. However, we get just a clip, just a bit, just a touch of the leather guy spinning around on the floor, like doing sort of a break dance thing. Sort of a break dance, yeah, as rockabilly guys are known to do. Is that true? I don't think so.

No, you have to put your stand up base down. Those flame shirts aren't made for slipping and sliding. Although there is this really weird, like subculture of rockabilly dudes in Japan who do this like super exaggerated, they get together in a in Japan, who do this like super exaggerated, they get together in a park, and they do this really super exaggerated rockabilly dancing. So maybe that's what this is referencing.

I don't think so, but I appreciate how much thought you put into it. Thanks, thanks so much. Yeah. Did these girls not know what happened at the last slumber party, or they just think she's over it? Yes, only one of them knows what happened,

because Sally is like, oh, so your sister's at college. I would never go to a girls' college where your sister is. Right, right, right, right, right. And Amy and Courtney are like, mm, mm, mm, mm. Yeah, gross. Because Amy knows. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha mm, mm, mm. Yeah, correct. Because Amy knows.

Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, okay. Amy is the realtor? Yes. Okay, got it. Right, and Sheila is the singer, and Sally is the drummer. I knew everybody but realtor. Okay, okay, okay. They get to the condo, it's like,

it looks like it's gonna be like an empty house party. Nothing is unpacked, except for a blow up doll, which hits Helen from wings in the face. They don't rise of their own accord. I don't know about that. Boy, that technology has come a long way though. To a terrifying extent. Yeah.

Oh yeah. I just think AI is going to make it that much creepier. Yeah. And she's like, Oh, this is Sheila. She's like, my bro, Oh, it's my pervert brothers. And she's like, Oh, this is Sheila. She's like, oh, it's my pervert brothers. And she's like, oh, these fucking brothers are perverts. Well, she does say it runs in the family. It's gross. She's also a pervert. She's also a pervert.

And then I was like, people fuck those things, huh? It just feels so like. Like you'd be fucking a pool toy? A pool toy, yeah. I feel like the smell of it would be like the smell of a pool toy, you know? In defense, young dudes will fuck fucking anything. That's probably true.

I mean, I had friends who fucked stuffed animals, couches. Oh, JD Vance. Yeah, JD Vance. I was friends with JD Vance when I was younger. That's weird, Alan. No, I mean, I hope ideology. All right.

Notorious Delawarean JD Vance. Might as well have been. We had a Nazi problem too. Yeah, we've all got a Nazi problem. So none of the other condos around Mr. Shuttleworth's condo or whatever dad's name was are occupied. Except for the one that is later, but that's fine. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. He's got a booze closet. Most people have a wine cellar, but that's fine. Yeah, yeah. Okay. He's got a booze closet. Most people have a wine cellar. My dad's got a booze closet. It's full of French champagne. You think he would store that properly, but all right. Yeah, he would put that on its side so it doesn't pop. What are you doing here, buddy?

Yeah, they drink a million bottles of it. How many bottles of champagne? And it's not sparkling wine because they say it's from France. Well, we don't know if it's from the Champagne region in France. No, it's French champagne. While they're eating corn dogs and putting easy cheese on their fingers. I have not had spray cheese in so fucking long.

Not for me. Really? I don't like it. Oh, wow. No, it's not cheese. You claim to have this white trash upbringing, and then you're going to tell me you don't like spray cheese.

Well I was about to tell you how much I like corn dogs. I mean who doesn't fucking love corn dogs? You presumably. Breading in a hot tub? I love it. Talking to me about your vegetarian shit. Dude Morningstar has been making veggie corn dogs for fucking years. Don't even.

Look. They're delicious. No, vegetarian hot dogs are just fine. The Okatron drunk and start dancing. Yeah. Hell under wings is dancing is worse than Elaine from Seinfeld. Look like I know I can't dance. Everyone knows I can't dance, but this movie makes me think like, maybe I can.

Have you thought about while dancing with your friends and having a light pillow fight about maybe just getting your tits out? Well, you know what? Every group has someone who getting your tits out. Well, you know what? Every group has someone who takes their tits out. That's just part of it. That is just part of it. Yeah, I like that Sally's like, I'll meet you halfway. I'll take my shirt off.

Yeah, it's cute. And they're watching Rock and Roll High School. Yes. Which was like, A, Roger Corman, I appreciate you using things that you already owned to put in your movies. I mean, you've got the rights. And it's a fucking great movie.

I've never seen it. Oh, it's really fun. Should I see it? Yeah. OK. For sure. All right. So the boys show up early, because they're expecting boys,

but not until tomorrow, so they're going to get junk and show each other their tits tonight. Right, like you do. I mean, really, this is not that wild. Yeah, no. No, no, no. Helen, for some reason, cuts open. I open Helen, I'm going to call her Helen, cuts open a pillow and just throws the feathers everywhere from like reasons of rebellion.

How's dad going to feel about that? Not great, I wouldn't think, but yeah, you know, I like to think that Helen might be carrying a blade on her though. Helen's got a box cutter. So pre Pre-911. Pre-911. Well, they drove there. You can take a box cutter in your car anyway. So these guys are like, we died and went to heaven. And then I thought, what if this whole movie is exactly what happens to these guys when they're dead?

That would be a great movie. Like defending your life, but for a fucking teenage boy. Yeah, yeah. Two notes before the boys get into the house. Is the singer trying to fuck the rest of the band? No, she's just having fun with her tits out. Okay, yeah, cause she keeps like staring at people and pushing them together at them. No, she's just having a fun time with her tits.

I love it. I love when someone calls says something to her about, someone calls her a chicken and she like balk balks them together. So funny. She's so good. I also appreciate that you did it for me. Did I do it? I didn't even. Oh fuck. I'm so gross. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to balk balk my tits at you. Come back. Put your glasses on. I always get extra embarrassed when you take your glasses off. You had no idea. It's like your hands and tits have a mind of their off. I love that. You had no idea. It's like your hands and tits have a mind of their own. Yeah, they do.

Bok bok. Bok bok, baby. Oh, I love you so much. Sheila rules. She's just like, I also love to drink directly from a bottle of champagne. I also love you. And she's holding it like she's going

to hit someone because they hear a noise from the kitchen. It's like, she's so fucking cool. But before she turns it over, she makes sure to finish all the champagne that's in the bottle. And I was like, love you girl. Sheila. So they, this is the boys, they've sneaked in through the back door. Yeah. Yeah. And they do this gag where one of them has been stabbed. Yeah. And the other one jumps on Sheila. So I guess they don't know what happened to Courtney. No, they're very rude. They're very rude.

Yeah, yeah. And then they yell, smoke on. They're so gross. Actually, one of them is fine and the other one is disgusting. Yeah, but they yell, smoke on, and no one ever smokes weed, and I'm very annoyed. No one smokes anything in this movie.

No. No. You think Sheila's dad could afford headboards for his desert condo? If he did, it would just be Sheila and TJ bang them against the wall all night and I already have to hear them fucking. Gonna fuck up the paint. I'm glad that I've reached the point in my life where I don't have to hear my friends fuck anymore.

And while TJ and Sheila are having sex, I think Courtney turns to Amy and is like, why is it so loud? And Amy says, the more you do it, the louder you get, practice makes perfect. Yeah, she's funny. This is Sally, I think, saying this to her. This is the drummer.

Oh, is this, okay. Yeah, because the other one seems to be, Realtor seems to be with the blonde guy. Okay. Yeah. Um, one of, oh, one of them says to the other, you're fantastic. And I think it's, I think TJ says, I know. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sheila says, you're fantastic. And he says, I know. Uh, this is where I have my first note that says, I think she might need to masturbate because she has a dream about a honky football guy. Right. The face touching that he's doing is so unnatural. Like he, he like sort of just palms her face and then like

can't even bring himself to touch her back. It's so weird. They have the least chemistry of two, any two people I've ever seen in my life. And I work in the divorce industry. So she's dreaming of the hunky boy, but then the killer shows up instead and he says, and I quote, I'm you and you are me till we go all the way. Then he goes, love the one you're with. You know, rock and roll. Rock and roll

baby. She wakes up on the kitchen floor, happens to the best of us. Sobbing. Sobbing. Yeah. Oh, happens to the best of us. And then tells a little pile of salami next to her. She was hungry. You finish your salami. As you fall asleep. Look, I'm not the only person ever fall asleep eating salami. I can't be right? No, no, no. That's like an Italian-American rite of passage. That's right. It's taking your training wheels off. She tells her friends about her dreams, which just a quick note, nobody wants to hear about your dream. No, unless they were in it and it was a sexy dream. Yeah.

Yeah. And then Amy says, my favorite, other favorite line in the movie, I was reading a doctor's report. I read a doctor's report once about subconscious projection. What? Why did you do that? Oh, she was away at a conference. Yeah.

A realty conference. Yeah. And there was a doctor's report like. Someone probably left it on the plane and she was away at a conference. Yeah, a realty conference, yeah. And there was a doctor's report like her. Someone probably left it on the plane and she just picked it up and was like, wow, subconscious projection, that's the kind of dream you have when you drink too much. What? She was like, I could call my kids

or I could read this doctor's report. She reads the doctor's report. Yeah. Cut to their outside of the pool and I really appreciated that TJ put a bikini on the sex doll so that its nipples didn't get burnt in the sun. Oh, that is nice. I didn't notice that. Realtor says to her boyfriend, do you want an egg? I could fix you one.

It's a single egg. Fix you an egg. One egg. Here's an egg. Eat your egg. Ah, egg. Eat your ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, egg. Ah, egg. And then TJ's like, oh, I can fix your headache for you. Do not do this to someone with a headache. A little light sexual assault? I mean, just don't manhandle them, period.

Don't sexual assault anyone, but don't manhandle someone with a headache. To the point of where his girlfriend says, stop grabbing her boob. TJ, get your hand off her boob. Yeah. And then he throws her in the pool, and she just

sinks like a stone. Why can she not swim? And it was like it seemed like it seemed like if she stood up she would have been okay. It wasn't that deep. I mean if she weighs as much as this movie has me believe she should not be flying on those planes on wings. Bringing them down all over the place. What is that? Oh because she's so heavy. She's so heavy. The gag in Wings is always that Helen was heavy as a child. Oh Maybe it's a tie in. It's a tie in. She's a child. I'm doing it. I'm doing my fingers. They're interlaced This is where that guy came from. Oh my god So she uh the the nerdy guy has to jump in and save her and she's seemingly an inch below the water when he grabs her She just picks her. I mean literally it looks like she's going down for sinkies like a child.

So the drummer is not there at this point. We see her when Helen wakes up on the couch. And she says that her face is turning into one giant pimple lurking just below the surface. I felt that way as a teen. Really? Oh yeah, yeah. I was a big zip boy as a kid. Were you a zip boy? Yeah. I was lucky to kind of get away without much of that. Yeah. Congrats. I mean genuinely. Yeah. I still get occasional pimples and I'm like I'm 51 years old. Same dude, same. Come on world. So then they get her outside to have lunch and they get her a great sight gag in this film.

What's that? A hand burger. Oh, I didn't think about it being a hand burger. God, that guy, the rockabilly guy's so cheeky. She has a hamburger, but instead of it being a meat patty, it's a hand. It looks like a McRib, but too big. When she goes to bite into it, you hear, Okay. It took me a while to figure it out, but at some points,

his cackling laugh is the beginning of wipeout. It is. Oh my God. That's brilliant. I think so. And then we cut to band practice in the living room of the condo. Or I have to know this is just Jerk It lady because she's still non-masturbating

and I really think this would fix everything. She is sharing a bed with her best friend. So, you know, cut her some slack. I mean, according to some of those instructional videos that I watch about human sexuality that's not an uncommon thing to do. Okay. You know just masturbating. Just from the videos you saw. Educational films. Sure. When we see the burger again though it is like fully slicked with ketchup which is for children. Guys don't use ketchup. Grow up. Or counterpoint, ate ketchup with my French fries tonight for dinner. Oh, was it good?

Actually, when I mixed ketchup and mayo, made fancy sauce. Fancy sauce. I love that for you. And hot dogs fries and fancy sauce. Why, um, why are these two washing the car? I don't know, so you can see how great her boobs are. They sure are. I was thinking about your, in the golden child episode where you realize like the 5% of you that is gay

was totally into that woman's boobs. Oh yeah. And I was like, I bet she likes these boobs too because they're very similar. They're very similar to us, yeah. We have a musical montage of them. Was this like where they're playing music, I think, maybe? Oh, maybe.

This is before she's attacked by the fridge chicken. Yes, this is where we see, this must just be a musical montage, because we see her looking at a shirtless photo of teeth and talking to it. And you're like, actually you're fucking insane. You're crazy enough that you might jerk off in the bed with your friend. Might as well. You've got this picture of teeth. Your friend knows you're crazy.

You use it to your advantage, but she opens the refrigerator. What happens when she opens the refrigerator? Arms on a Kimbo chicken comes out of the refrigerator, grabs onto her belly and starts spewing what looks like barbecue sauce all over her. It's really good. When she brings her friends back in to see it, it's just a raw chicken that she threw on the floor. It's just lying there. They all touch it. Yeah. None of them wash their hands. They're all going to get salmonella. The rest of this movie is just about what happens to you when you have salmonella. The rest of this movie is just about what happens to you when you have salmonella.

Cannot cross contaminate like that, yeah. You might wanna pick the chicken up and pick the glass out of it to just lay it in the pile of broken glass from her glass as well. All right. And then Sally's like, hey man, why don't you go take a tubby?

She's writing a song. One of the lines is, I want to sugar daddy with a candy shop. And I thought, hell yeah. It's very good. And then 50 cents, saw this movie. It was like, you know what? I'm going to make a hit out of that. I forgot about that song.

Wow, we should get him on the horn. I love how much he's trolling, did he? I love what a fucking petty bitch he is. He's such a prick. Such a prick. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha. Oh.

So, yeah, she goes up and takes a tubby, and then there's cackling again. Okay. And blood starts dripping and then pouring out of the faucet into the tub. Right. She doesn't get out of the tub when that starts happening. No, you think you'd run.

Yeah. But I think she's supposed to be asleep at this point. Don't sleep in a tub. That's how people die. Come on. We all sleep in a tub from time to time. No, we don't, Alan. That's how you die. What if there's a hurricane? You get in that tub. Well, you don't put water in it. Might need that later. He's he's just wailing. He's just wailing on this guitar. Just

wailing and wailing and shredding and shredding. There's a bit here where she finally gets out of the tub, runs into the hallway, closes the bathroom door behind her and then blood brushes under the door and covers her feet. Great. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. There's some really good practical effects in this movie. Like fucking Sally's face. I'm sorry. I thought this was spectacular. Yeah. It's fantastic. Can you describe it to me? Uh, Sally is comes to, she goes to find Sally to show her the blood and then she just brings her into the bathroom where she's just left the faucet

running and water is pouring all over the floor. And Sally's like, I've got this zit on my face and it's a little tiny zit. And then you go back to Courtney and then you go back to Sally and it's much bigger. It's a huge, like prosthetic. Yeah. And it's like, I've got this zit on my face and it's a little tiny zit. And then you go back to Courtney and then you go back to Sally and it's much bigger zit. It's a huge like prosthetic. Yeah, and it's like twisting her face up and then it explodes and shoots onto Crystal Bernard's face and I'm pretty sure she did not know it was coming cause she went, oh.

She legit gags. Yeah, she wretches. It is so gross and so good. I thought this whole sequence was fantastic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is kind of the money shot in the movie. Yeah, it really is. There's not much effects after this.

This is the budget right here. This and the fire walk, I think, are the two budgets. You mean the fire fall? Jump. Fire leap? She runs downstairs and she's like, "'Sally in the bathroom she's dead who says this to Matt who brought his teeth. Yeah. Takes all of his teeth

upstairs. Takes all of his teeth upstairs and one of the guys is like she's been taking too many diet pills and that buttoned me out a little. They were the rage in the 80s. Yeah. Because they had a effort so it was just taking speed. Just a little bit of speed for you. Everybody loves a little trucker speed every now and again. I think it's just taking speed just a little bit speed for you everybody loves a little trucker speed every now and again i think it's good for some things like trucking just kidding that's terrible so sally's gone now she's missing she's m.i.a. where could she be who can say it's not like she says in the previous scene that she's going to go somewhere because she does actually she says i got to get more oxy 10 for this. Yeah. Oh man.

I used to love the way those pads felt when you had to wipe your face with them. Yeah. So Bernie stringent. Yeah. That can't have been good for our skins. No, no. One of the guys in the scene also says, I don't know. So Matt being a real chicken shit just calls the cops right away. Yeah, Teeth is a narc. He's such a fucking cop.

He must be really into her because she seems like she sucks at this point. She's hella cute. She's hella cute. And like Teeth is just looking at her like she has the death cancer. Like just like the saddest, most pitying, like compassionate look. Yeah. He thinks he can fix her. You're right. And the trash compactors on. So they think Sally's in the trash compactor. I have never seen a trash compactor in real life.

I haven't seen one since the eighties. What? How did they work? They just mushed up the trash into a block. Why don't we use them anymore? Cause they're hella wasteful. I. Why? You're using fewer trash bags anyway. I don't know. I don't know. Sounds like you're in the pocket of big trash compactor. I don't have space for one. I just want to go back to burning the trash. That's a problem too. Cops show up. This one cop is just grinning. He's like a bad, scary pumpkin man. Is that the mullet cop?

No, that's dark hair cop. Okay, okay. He's the one who I just described as incredulous. Yeah, he's great actually, because you don't see him at first, you just see this sort of like crazed looking, like skeptical mean cop. Just like with this nasty grin on his face

and then it cuts to the other guy and he's just got like a hockey haircut. And the mean cop's name is? Kruger. Kruger. Come on Kruger Denny's is holding our booth. What? Seems like I have real moons over my hammy kind of guy. You know he's going for a French dip? I don't know. Sally shows back up. She's like I just went to the store to get more Oxy-10, like I said. And I met this outrageous guy. So Sally got railed when she went to go pick up some Oxy-10.

Came home alone with her Oxy-10. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the Matt's like, why don't we go upstairs and you can take a nap. Where does he get this cake? He brought it with him. Where does he get all these candles? I don't know.

How'd he know it was her birthday? I don't know. Is this what he signed up for? Is this what he signed up for? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he loves her and she cries about it. He's like, take a big deep breath, and she's like, no, I need to just look at them

because they're so pretty. What? You're fucking insane. Also, don't let wax get all over that cake, you bitch. This movie's dialogue is like improvised by people who do not know how to improvise. It would be like if I was improvising dialogue. Just doing saying whatever comes into your brain, whatever words you have. I can't. The candles are whimsy. So he knows her story. He knows what happened as a child.

His parents were good friends with the Cravens. The Cravens. Oh, God. And they smooch. Are they gonna go all the way? Oh, take me all the way. Rosanna. And she's unbuttoned his shirt.

She goes for his shirt like it's his dick. She's like, I'm going gonna do this so illicit thing. And who knows? It might be. She's never had sex before. No, it's true. It could be hiding behind his teeth for all she knows. Although she's seen him shirtless a bunch of times. True.

In her dreams. And no point did she dream that he had a dick in the middle of his chest. I would like it if in her dreams, he was like a really cut dude. And then when she opens his shirt, when they get together, he's just kind of got like a beer belly, like her dreams he was like a really cut dude and then when she opens his shirt when they get together He's just kind of got like a beer belly like a hairy Like a dad bod. Yeah, I like that and she goes I'm into it

So while they are being in flagrant a delecto no, they don't fuck no He gets a drill guitar through the chest. Yeah. And everything is quite stringy. He's, he's penetrated by her libido. Wow. A drill to the chest. I mean, yeah. I don't think you're wrong. Oh, then the killer takes Matt's arm and puts it in the cake. And I thought that was very funny. That is so stupid. Everything is very stringy when he comes apart. Very stringy. Yeah that's what you're full of. Strings. Yeah. Yeah. Strings. They can't hear this happening downstairs because they're jamming. They're jamming. They're forming a new band. They're forming a new band. With TJ on bass, the other guy on guitar.

Sheila's just doing vocals, not playing now. And Sally's still on the skins. Look, you got one drummer. Yeah. They drum for everything. Yeah. I wish they had named the band. I would have liked to have their off the cuff name

for that band. For that band? What was, did they have a name for their band? Not that I knew of. I think they said it at some point, but I don't remember. Okay, I'm gonna look real, real, real quick. The horny teens. That can't remember. Okay, I'm gonna look real, real, real quick. The horny teens. That can't possibly be taken, right?

I do have a friend who is my age who's in a band called Teenage Sex. Seems like you might have to change it at some point. Stick with it. I don't know. They don't come back around. To being a teen again, okay, all right, all right. He's got the Ben's buttons to see us.

Oh, spooky. Are you looking up the name of the band? Um, yes, but I can't. I think maybe they didn't actually say it, so never mind. Okay, it doesn't matter. So she runs downstairs. She's followed by the killer. TJ gets drilled by the killer. Yeah. And then Sally gets cornered by the killer. Yeah. And Sally does one of my favorite horror movie things,

just backs into a wall. Hands to her side. The drill coming through the wall covered in her blood on the other side though, he's like, mwah, I loved it. It's very nice. Yeah. This man is wearing head to toe, thick black leather.

Yeah. You give him a little bit of a run where you have to like have him chase you for a while, he's gonna sweat out. He's gonna wear out, yeah. He's gonna wear out so fast. He's gonna get gassed in a second and you're gonna be able to get away from him.

We should point out that this is real. She's been like having hallucinations, but this time she comes downstairs covered in blood and they see it. So to go with my theory, she got so close to fucking that he was able to come into real life. Wow. She just like, okay, okay. Wow. Okay. So, uh, I, uh, drilling her through the phone was, as you say, I love this. Love this. TJ and Sheila go run for help because TJ only got drilled in the leg. Yes, but he's sort of a small man.

And she is really carrying him around by his butt, which I thought was very funny. Just one finger in the hole. Just pulling them around. Your thumb in a bowling ball. The others get out to the car and realize they don't have the keys. They got to go back in. Sure. They go back in. Do they get killed by the killer? No, no. No. Do they get the car keys? Yes. Yeah. They do see Sally's dead body though, where she sort of like falls into the, into frame. But the actress playing Sally was like,

no, I am going to look cute dead and you cannot stop me. She nailed it. No open mouth, no tongue lolling out. She's like, I'm just cute dead. Barely any blood, she's not gonna get blood in her hair. No, not that blonde blonde blonde hair. That hairspray turning a blood back out of you, you're choking me right now.

I'm gonna chip all day. So they drive away, and all three of them are in the front seat. You got the realtor, the wangs, their nerdy guy. They're all in the front seat. Yeah. So leaving no possibility that there was anyone in the back seat of the car, which they did not check. Please check your back seats when you're being cornered by a killer. Question. Cause the killer pops up. He's got a little carnation behind his ear, who kills Jeff, who smartly stops driving.

We finally get Jeff's name. Jeff, yes, Jeff. Is our, is he supernatural? Yeah. He's like Freddy Krueger in that he comes to her in dreams, but then he also can step into the real world. As Freddy Krueger, remember him attacking the party. Exactly, exactly. Yeah, I'm fine with this.

Yeah, yeah. But then why, okay, okay. I mean, if you, we've joked all the time about if you tug on the thread on this sweater, this sweater is a single thread that just rests lightly on your shoulder. It's true, you take it off and you're like, I am cold everywhere now, yeah.

This movie is the emperor's new clothes. It sure is. It's also fucking fantastic. I wanna be very real with you. It's very fun and very terrible. Very terrible. We're on a run of very fun, very terrible movies. Yes.

They leave Jeff in the car, they go back to the house. Okay. Why? I don't know, they also like put a dresser in front of the door of the room that they're hiding in. It's like, but he got in the car. He's literally supernatural. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless he just sneaked into the car that they're hiding in it's like but he is he got in the car he's he's literally supernatural unless he just sneaked into the car that they left unlocked no because he keeps beating her to places when she runs away

that's it he can't be that much faster than her especially carrying that drill guitar it's gonna be heavy yeah yeah so we go cut back to TJ and Sheila they're still on the move TJ's looking very bad is, and she's just carrying him around by his little butt. They get to a house where this Corbin Berntson looking motherfucker comes out after they run back away again. It's true.

He's so mad at kids. Damn kids. But at this point, I think TJ gets drilled to death. Yeah. Cause he falls down and his dead body is slumped against the side of this guy's house and he gets drilled to death. Yeah. Because he falls down and his dead body is slumped against the side of this guy's house and he doesn't see it. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And they call the cops again, but it's Officer Krueger. This is fucking brain trust at the police department. He's like, I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear from you guys again. Goodbye. He literally says, don't call back.

Yeah. And I assume you also have a note that says ACAB. ACAB, baby. Now at this point, the rockabilly driller killer turns to me, the camera, and says, now it's time for the fun part. He addresses me. He breaks the fourth wall.

Hey, Katie. Can he do that? Apparently, he's a real Zack Morris. He breaks the fourth wall. Hey, Katie. Can he do that? Apparently he's a real Zack Morris. He can do whatever he wants. And then he does a whole song and dance number. Like this is a fucking musical. With full blown smoke effects in the background. It's so good.

In the living room of this house. With some light breaking that was foreshadowed earlier. Yeah. Oh my fucking God. Why does this happen? I mean, this movie is an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah. And this is four of them.

Yeah, and there's so much running up and down stairs padding out this film as well. Like when your movie's an hour and 15 and you're still padding it out. Yeah, not a whole lot of plot. Also, if you had told me that this film was written and made by AI, I might believe you, because it's very nonsensical.

I feel like it's actually too bad to have been written by AI. So post his song, Sheila's made it back to the house, and then they're on the run, but then he kills Sheila. Oh, Sheila gets into the room, or is in the hallway outside the room that they're barricaded in, and then they're on the run, but then he kills Sheila. Oh, Sheila gets into the room or is in the hallway outside the room that they're barricaded in. And they were gonna let her in, but then they hear the killers out there.

So they abandoned her to her fate. Yeah, they sure do. They're like, well, fuck you then. And then he drills into the room and they're running across the condo rooftops. Yeah, they're like, some of them are still being built. Yeah. Yeah. And Amy keeps getting sliced by him as they're dodging in and out of these condos. He, yeah, she's still really limber for taking like some really big cuts. Yeah. Yeah. To the

face even. Yeah. And to like her full back. Yeah. And then somehow she ends up. He cuts her face and then says, I can't get no satisfaction. Why? Sir, you can't just take the lines. I cut you stairway to heaven. I'd like big butts. And I cannot lie. So somehow Amy falls out of one of the buildings and Courtney drops her.

Well he like hits her with the drill which causes her to drop her. Okay. Yeah she doesn't just drop her but still that's enough for Amy. Yeah she's, Courtney, yeah, Amy is dead. Like don't run upstairs in the construction site you bozos. Where do you think you're gonna go? I don't know. Why did they run back to the house initially? There's other options. It's like and then her dripping blood tips him off that they're up there, but like, I'm 90% sure he's supernaturally magical. So why would he need the practicality of the dripping blood? Is he anymore though? He might just be a regular dude.

Why is he doing this? Don't know. Oh yeah. He drills up through the floor before she drops Amy and the song starts again, the song that he was singing. It's like fucking Yakety Sax. So in this pandemonium, this cacophony of nonsense, they end up on a roof together and he's menacing her and Courtney finds an acetylene torch. Yeah, fucks him up right away.

He says, light my fire. Come on baby, light my fire. Yeah, and as him up right away. He says light my fire. Come on baby, light my fire. Yeah, and as everyone knows the doors suck so you have to burn anybody who says that to you. Could not agree more. Although I like the song that ends stronger than dirt. Come on, come on, come on, come on, now touch me babe. That's the only one I like because it's a reasonable amount of time too. Sure, they didn't let Manzarek go nuts on the keys for a while. Ba ba ba da ba ba ba da da. Yeah, we can talk shit on the doors all we want. We can sing at least seven of their songs.

It's true. I mean, they've got some hits. So as the sun is coming up, he drops out of the building on fire. It's a full fire fall. You love a fire walk. It's close enough. Fire jump. And then we get Amy being wheeled into an ambulance and Courtney pulls back her sheet to see Amy still breathing and alive. Yeah, that bit I was like, Whoa, whoa, hold up now. And I also was like, I hope my eye makeup looks that good when I'm dead.

Sure, sure. It doesn't look that good now, I'm alive. Come on. I'm sweaty, I'm very sweaty. And she starts doing the rockabilly cackling. Why is she the guy? That's a note I have. Why is she the guy?

Who can say? And I get very excited because I'm like, is this whole film going to be a dream? I would be very excited if that was the case. Why would that make you feel very excited? Because it was like a big thing in the 80s. There was there was the whole season of Dallas that was a dream. There was Biggie was gonna write that song Juicy. Yeah. There is a spoiler alert all

of St. Elmo's Fire is the dream of a young child or not St. Elmo's Fire. What? What is it? What happens in the movie? We'll figure it out. No, it's a, it's a TV show. Oh, what happens in the scene elsewhere? Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All of saying elsewhere is a dream of a small child. Why though? Isn't it a hospital drama? So she wakes up in bed with Matt teeth and she's gonna roll over and just start doing the do. Yeah. She just, she's, I guess she's fucked teeth at this point.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean we all have. So she is accidentally. Accidentally. But then as we don't really see him, we see the back of her as she's making out with him. And he has the like fingerless gloves on. Fingerless gloves and punk rock bracelets on. It's that guy.

Which I don't know if it says, nope, it's the cackler. And he goes, I love you. Why? And she's actually in the asylum. She screams she's in the mental hospital. He drills through the floor. Can I read you my last note? Yeah.

Like what? Can I read you my last note? Yeah. What a movie. Or conversely, what a movie? What? Oh, is there a movie here? I missed it.

What a fucking bucket of nonsense. Like the first movie is Whackadoo. And just kind of doesn't make any sense, but like works. I feel like the first movie was written as a comedy maybe, but then they filmed it like it was a straight movie. So there's all these weird bits to it. I don't remember the details of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But't remember the details of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But this one is just bat shit. There's no explanation for who this guy is, why he is like,

the implication of this is that you would have, what this movie presupposes is that you saw the first one and that you don't remember that it wasn't a rockabilly guitar player, that it was just a serial killer. Even though in the flashbacks, so you show you the original killer. Why? Why is this? Why is this?

I think this is because of the Roger Corman School of Filmmaking, where he has lots for X amount of time. So he's gonna make as many movies as he can. Sure, pump them out. So whatever bullshit you've got, I'm gonna make a fucking movie out of time, so he's gonna make as many movies as he can. Sure, pump them out. So whatever bullshit you've got, I'm gonna make a fucking movie out of it because we have time and it's gonna cost $4,000.

Yeah, exactly. And maybe it'll become a cult classic. Who can say? Is this a cult classic? I mean, I don't know. I know it's a known film. It's a known entity. Sure.

Okay. Neither of us were shocked that there's a slumber porn massacre too. No, then I was sort of shocked that there was a three to be honest with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Katie, do you have a rating for this movie? It is un-rateable. It is ridiculous.

It is six for all six strings on that drill guitar. Drill tar, drill tar? Good grill. Good drill. Good drill, good drill? I'll work on it, we'll workshop it. What about you? Good drill sounds like a monkey I'm not familiar with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're only like in the deepest jungles

of somewhere you've never heard of. Delaware. Delaware, Newark. I would give this four, you really just need to masturbate. Just jerk it, just flick the bean. Even if you don't get anywhere with it, it'll be a somewhat of a release. Yeah, yeah, just rub it on the sofa for a little while

then go about your business. There is a scene in this movie where Sheila is just grinding her clit against a lamp. And I thought, you know, maybe she could take some notes from that. Psst, do this. Try that. Against anything, literally anything.

Just grind on something. Anyway, great film. Great film. Terrible film. Awful film. Great film. I mean, again, this falls well into the 2 a.m. you're all fucked up on Twizzlers and like, natty light, just like, go to town, watch this movie. Yeah.

Katie. Alan. Can I read you an email we received? I would love that. Dear Katie and Alan. Hello. Greetings from Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia.

I had to say it, I'm so sorry, that was dick of me. I have been meaning to email you for a while, now for two reasons. Okay. First. Yeah. Is to let you know how much I love you too and have been smiling, laughing,

and chilling with your podcast for years. I love that and I love you. You create such a warm and welcoming space. Sincerely, thank you so much for brightening oh so many of my days, lo these many years." Oh, that's really sweet. Smiley face emoji. Okay, good. Well placed. Well played. One of my favorite emoji placements. Second reason I am emailing and that is that I am

she who recommended Don Goar. I was formerly Dr. Horror Geek. Dr. Horror Geek! We had so many medical questions for you. Okay, go on. On the site formerly known as Twitter. Yes. And I tweeted a plea to try a Don Doller film. Yes.

I was filled with B-movie fan delight when you covered Alien Factor. Oh my God. Cue earworm of Maybe Someday by Atlantis. Oh my God, I love that fucking jam. Then you did Nightbeast 2. We did. We loved it.

Lately, Love of Don Dollar has come up several times, come up on several of your episodes, and I just had to share in that love of recommender of Don Dollar. Dr. Horror Geek, genuinely from the bottom of our hearts, thank you. Blessings of aliens wearing jeans, Aunt Ruth and Atlantis to you.

I love Aunt Ruth. Lots of love, Angela. Angela, thank you so much. Truly, it has been a life changer for us. And with that said, what are we doing next week? Well, I think you're about to tell me as you scroll through the films of Don Dollar. All right, I'm gonna give you a choice. All right. All right. All

right. Got him. So that's calling. If you want, if you know what, if you want us to watch, you can't know, you know what? I'm not giving you a choice. We're doing galaxy invader. That sounds like what Courtney needed to do to herself. Get a galaxy invader and take care of business. Yep. All right. It's a direct to video science fiction film directed and co-written by Baltimore filmmaker, Don dollar. Galaxy invader. Oh my God. The cast is entirely non-professional actors, mainly friends and family of dollar.

Please let aunt Ruth be in this movie. I like want to look at the cast. Oh shit. It's on Tubby. Can you teach me how to Tubby? Teach me, teach me how to Tubby. Oh shit, this is at the beginning of Pod People. There's film from another movie with the credits over top of them. Yeah. And that's what this movie is.

Oh my God, I can't wait. And it's only an hour and 19 minutes. Oh, thanks, Don. Thanks, Don. Get in, get out. Tell the story quick. It came from a galaxy far, far away. Are you allowed to say that?

Don, is that yours? Don, too late to sue him. An alien explorer, its mission, to kill. That's all of them. That's every one of them. Oh my God, yes! Keep making the same movie till you get it right, Don T. Don. I don't think this one will be right either, but I can't wait to watch it. So come back next week for a Don Doller classic that I'm sure all

of you have seen. I don't even care if people have seen the movies anymore. I care that I get in, get out and have fun. That's where I'm at in my life. Let's go. Katie Allen. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank you so much for doing this every week. Mostly every week. Some weeks I freak out. Yeah. Um, be kind to each other. There's been so much shit in the news lately that has been bumming me the fuck out because

the world is terrible. And I'm sorry that we all have to live through this. And hopefully we can be a little bright spot for folks. I'm happy that that's an opportunity for us. Yes. And a little bright spot for us too. Yeah, for sure. Except it's very hot up here.

I feel like I'm sitting on the surface of the sun. Well, then it's a bright spot. That's what I'm saying. The surface of the sun is very bright. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. I'm not pitching anything. I'm not telling them about the Patron or the T-Public. Patron, T-Public, you know.

I just did it, I just did it for us. It's hot up here. It is hot up here. Why did I wear jeans like a fucking Don Doehler alien? Because you wanted to look great while you recorded this episode. You got salad dressing on the knee. I'm wearing a fucking tank top.

Me too. Bye. Bye y'all! Bye! Bye! Many acts aint not dead rules, so many sightings and the pool Nowhere to end, Finland's cute, full-filled reviews Killer clowns and land the face, killing everyone out of space Appearance I've passed in case, please make eye-contact in your grave EMT Horror and comedy with these hungry Brian from Wings and Stephen King EMT

We live deliciously by temperatures obese, crazy come to die A pair of normal activities from Mr. Roger Steddy E.M.D. E.M.D.