Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 525- Season of the Witch (2011)

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Hey team, you may have heard by now, but our pal Pye needs our help: https://gofund.me/a98ba99e Otherwise...oh good lord, in this week's episode, we're discussing a classic of the most forgettable period of Nic Cage's career, the 2011 film "Season of the Witch." Special topics for your consideration include: bad movies turning good actors into bad actors, the utterly heavy lifting that a wig can perform, a critique of Jeff Bezos because why not?, and some questions about the validity of any crusades, frankly. Nic Cage RULES. Check him out in Episode 74- "Pay the Ghost," Episode 108- "The Wicker Man," Episode 240- "Mandy" and if you search for "Vacation Episode" in our library, you'll find "Face/Off," which was a Patreon episode that made it into the main feed (April 2021). You can also jump on Episode 438- "Renfield" and Episode 513- "Longlegs."  The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie eepisodes.This month is June Claude Vam Damme and we'll be discussing Pittsburgh's own "Sudden Death!" leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.  

["The Witch's Theme from The Witch's Theme"] ["The Witch's Theme from The Witch's Theme"] ["The Witch's Theme from The Witch's Theme"] ["The Witch's Theme from The Witch's Theme"] Katie. Oh. Welcome to the season of The Witch. Oh.

Episode of Werewolf Abolence. Oh, a little more welcoming than this Nicolas Cage Ron Perlman classic. I thought you were going to say Nicolas Cage Romcom. Romcom. It is a bit of a buddy Romcom. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Between him and that wig. Oh, I thought between him and the young boy.

Look, I want to start this episode off by saying, it is insane that I pay for Amazon Prime and I still have to watch bullshit ads. How dare you? Hey, hey, Bezos is getting married this weekend. Weddings cost money, baby. Yeah, he only has billions of dollars. You put the word wedding in front of anything and the price goes up 15%.

It's true. So 15% of aian is a whole lot. Yeah, welcome to Wedding Wolf Ambulance. We'll plan your wedding. I'll plan your wedding. I should take that on right now. My next note says, I feel the dread of everyone, and then I feel nothing.

So I was both high and had been listening to Dinosaur Jr. America's least favorite interviewer or interviewee. At Jmascus. Have you ever heard of being interviewed? I don't know that I have. So Jmascus, this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I guess. Yeah, he's cool though.

What do you expect from J Maskus? No, he gives you exactly the J Maskus you want and deserve. Good, I deserve, that's what I deserve. You know they went on tour opening for The Cure and the last song they would play every night was Just Like Heaven? What a prick. And then they released it as a single.

They're so good. I love it. I love Dinosaur Jr. So smart. I prefer Dinosaur before they added the Jr. It's just kind of my thing. I prefer T-Rex as a different kind of dinosaur and their hit song, Get It On.

I prefer when they were fully called Tyrannosaurus Rex. All right. All right. Look, at least we don't have to try to buy Nicolas Cage as a book boy in this film. That's like, that's a step in the right direction for us. No, we do have to buy him as a fight boy though. I mean, maybe.

They've got him really bulked up in like lots of blankies. Lots. He's wearing all the clothes that the people would wear later or later or later in Game of Thrones when they were on the wall. Oh, okay. They're all dressed like the no later in Game of Thrones when they were on the wall. Oh, okay. They're all dressed like the crows from Game of Thrones. Speaking of that, I recognized one Game of Thrones actor in this film.

Yeah. The guy at the beginning who was the big guy and in the Game of Thrones space is all burned. Oh, sure. Yeah, I know that. I know something. Yeah, he's also in Hot Fuzz that I said was a horror movie. But it's a great movie. It is a great movie. He's the gnar guyuzz that I said was a horror movie. But it's a great movie. It is a great movie.

He's the gnar guy. Gnar, yeah. I assume everybody but Ron Perlman and Nicolas Cage were in Game of Thrones at some point. You know, it's wild that Stephen Graham is in this movie and I have seen him in a million British shows and he's doing an American accent? Why? Everyone is British in this movie, except for Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman and Stephen Graham, a very British man.

What is happening? They're all doing American accents. The witch is doing an American accent. She's Irish as fuck. She gives up on it at some point. Sure. Yeah. It's first movie. She's going to fail some point. Oh, is this her introducing? I believe so. Good for her. Sure. Yeah. First movie. She's going to fail. So I was just her introducing. I believe so. Good for her. Like, but they're like, and the young boy is also Irish. I believe. Yeah. He looks at. Yeah. But they're all, none of them are doing their accents. And then like they're like, Steven Graham is like, yeah, I'm a postman from New York City.

Yeah. Why is he talking like Billy Crystal? I feel like he learned to do an American accent from the City Slickers franchise. Great franchise. Curly's gold, all the way. You got to search for it. You got to search for it. Got to hear the legend.

Let me tell you something else. If I lived in witch times, I would 100% be a fucking witch. Sure. If they're going to kill you for consorting with the devil, you would 100% be a fucking witch. Is there gonna kill you for consorting with the devil? You might as well consort with the devil. Kiss that anus. Yes. Wait, what?

You gotta kiss the devil's anus. I have to kiss the devil's anus? And then I get butter? What's that? And then I get butter? Live deliciously? Yeah. Great.

That's where the butter comes from. Oh no. You know, but do I have to do it if I just want to be one of the ladies in the coven who sets up the folding chairs of the meeting? Like I don't want to be a leader. Listen, I know this is your thing. You're not gonna, you're-

I'm just a, I'm a background member of a coven. I'll make sure we have cookies at every coven meeting. Absolutely, that's a responsibility I can take on. And, but whole kissing. You gotta kiss the butthole. Just once? Oh, I don't know. It might be every meeting.

There's a band that I really like called Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat, which was supposed to be what you had to do with a black mask was kiss the anus of a black cat. I feel bad for that cat. That cat can't consent to that. You know there's a cat out there that's just a freak. Yeah, freaky deaky.

Well, we've got three women being questioned as witches. I watched this movie in two halves. Completely forgot about this opening scene. Okay, great. Well, I didn't take any notes for the last 27 minutes. Here we go, we're gonna help each other out. And fell asleep once, so. And did not rewind.

Fucking Amazon Prime would not let me rewind. So when I missed something in this, it was gone. It would just freeze. So you almost said, this was almost like a live performance. It was a live performance except some was yesterday and some was this morning and I fell asleep for some of it. Sure, sure, sure, sure. One of these ladies is a witch, good for her.

Yeah. Fucking do it. Or, or all, are they all the witch or she inhabits them all to be which I don't know what's going on, right? No, they, nobody does cause they didn't think about it. There's the book of Solomon that's being read by this book boy. Who's got a heck of a neck beard. Sure. Sure. Sure. He I'm his online comments are discussed.

He's such a fucking comic book guy. But yeah, just all the women are getting it. They're getting hung off the sprit. Hanged off the bridge. Seems like a shit place to live. Anyway, might as well die. Yeah. Come on. It's playtime. It's the 1200s. Yeah. Also they show like eight, eight different years that pass by a different loved it. I haven't, I paid attention. I don't know. I was like, am I supposed to do the math? I'm not going to. I feel like the math doesn't add up when they show the years.

1932, 1987. So, uh, yeah, so the, the, the, the, they're, they're doing an incantation of some sort out of the Book of Solomon. Is this a real thing? Is this a book of the Bible? I don't think it's a Bible book. I think it's another one of those books. Like Bible adjacent.

In the Bible series. I heard George R.R. Martin still got one to go. You leave railroad alone. Did you say real world? Railroad. Railroad, right? George Railroad Martin. I thought you were talking about what happens when

people stop being polite and start getting real. True story! Fuck. I don't feel well. Oh buddy, I'm sorry. It's Okay, now let's do the jokes. Something grabs his leg in the water. Is it a witch? Because fuck yeah, being a witch.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she could fly and shit. If given the opportunity, be a cool fucking witch. Yeah, yeah, and then she hangs him. And he dead now. He's dead now. And then we jump to the crusades where they got a real task master for crusade leader. He has a megaphone, which I didn't think were invented

in like the 1300s. It's so silly. Nick Cage's hair, his wig looks like my hair when I got out of the pool, but a little less poofy. What if it is your hair? What are you doing in 2011? Did you get a real short, like cut short haircut? I did get a real short haircut in 2011.

Yeah. I never looked back. Nicholas Cage. Oh, my God. Why is it having me? I think so. There's these two bozos. It's Nicholas Cage and Ron Perlman. Yeah. And I don't know what Ron Perlman's doing here. Can the paycheck? Yeah. Ron Perlman. And I don't know what Ron Perlman's doing here. Getting a paycheck? Yeah, Ron Perlman had a boat to pay off.

I feel like Ron Perlman hadn't quite become Ron Perlman yet. 2011? Maybe, I guess the Hellboy movie. If I was cognizant of him, then he was Ron Perlman. OK, OK. Don't you think? Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. What is he most famous for, Hellboy?

Hellboy, I think. And that idiotic TV show, Sons of Anarchy. Oh, was he on TV? He was on the TV. He was the leader of the gang, if I remember correctly, or part of the leading of the gang. He's got a big face. Sure.

Yeah, I like that about him. He was, the first thing I ever saw him in, he was in a TV show called Beauty and the Beast, where he played a lion man. The Beast? Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's very good.

What if he was not the beast? What if there was another beast, but he still played a lion man? He's like his sidekick, you know, lion man. There's a guy who looks like a cocker spaniel and a lion man. Yeah, I love this. Oh yeah. I'm not sure which of the crusades this is, but like all crusades, it's a dumb one. Yeah.

Yeah. There were never, there was never like, Oh, that was a really cool crusade. That crusade was the right one. And he thought bombing Iran was bad. Think about the crusades, you know, come on, come on, come on, think about it. Why don't you? That was like, come on, cut them some slack. Come on, the crusades were pretty bad.

The crusades were worse. And then there's just a scene that's like, yay, we have whores. And then they're fighting and then they're whoring and then they're fighting and then they're whoring. Oh God. And the years are passing by. We go through 12 years.

When there's only, that was a 12 year span. Yeah. There was like, we started in 1332 and ended in 1344 and Smyrna. No, that can't be. No, you're probably right. I just felt like it had been, I felt like you'd be lucky to live to be 20 years old in the 14th century, let alone being in all these hand to hand combats and being fairly old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, cause I just have notes that say,

two years later, three years later, two more years later. Ah, okay. And at this point, they're butchering the town of Smyrna, and, or city, I guess, and they realize that they're just killing women and children at this point. This can't be the first time.

Sure. So what's he so worked up about? He finally got a moral compass. It's like all of a sudden, Nacage has feelings too, god damn it. I guess. I don't care for that. I guess.

I don't care for that. And Ron Perlman is just like, my friend's pretty upset. Yeah. I was really hoping these two would kiss. Ha ha ha ha ha. So no, they desert. And they start walking around a mountain looking like goddamn hobbits,

like laden with robes and fur. The scenery in this film is the star of this movie. Where was this made, do you know? Austria for part of it. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah, so like they really went all out. Same director is gone in 60 seconds. Yes, a movie that I once described

as the stupidest thing I'd ever seen. And I just don't know anymore. I feel like I can't even quantify anymore. I wrote here, I don't have enough weed for this movie and I literally have so much weed. I don't know. I picked a weird time to give up drinking. You sure did.

You were so desperate to do this movie. I have to do it. I have, I have to do it. It's penance. So there, yeah, they're, they're just hot. They're, they're walking around. They've been out for a month now. They find a house. They find some dead bodies with a plague. Yes. This is the first they've heard of the plague because they've been wandering the countryside for a month maybe?

Yeah. All right. I mean, yeah, the plague not in the Middle East, like probably led to them living longer than they should have. Okay. Yeah, that dry climate, it's good for your breathing. Good for your breathing.

Yeah. I even know that it says, oh, they find a bed with dead bodies, not dead. Also not shocking. No, none of it It was the most expected thing to happen. It was more expected than This director saying hey Angelina Jolie. Why don't you grind your crotch on that gear shift for a while? Yeah, they do like a jump scare on someone's death rattle. Yeah, and it's like okay

I mean to be fair this movie's PG-13, so it's not for us. Sure. Cause we're over 13. Prove it. Statistically. We're both wearing little baseball caps like little kids. I'm just really greasy. It's that time of year. I think I look like a penis when I wear a baseball cap, but I will not stop doing it. As someone who's seen at least one penis,

and if you've seen a dick with a bill, please send pics. Does your dick have a bill? Now you can send us dick pics. Or a snap back? I feel like someone's just going to send us a snap back. Like someone's just going to send us like a photo of their penis on their electric bill. And I'm going to be like, no, that's not what I meant. Don't do that, guys.

Or Richard Dreyfuss on their electric bill. Dick pic. I like that quite a bit, actually. See, you're clever. So they get stopped in this town, and the medieval cops chase them around. Yeah. And they see, because they see Nacagius cages the crest on his sword. Yeah. Yeah.

He's still walked around with his crusader sword. Maybe don't sure. Yeah. Now trade it in. Just dip it. Yeah. So they're arrested for desertion. They're being taken across this like courtyard to be locked up. And in ADR, you hear Ron Perlman say, I hope we're on our way to dinner, which is like really, really punching up the script here. Guys. Really good, really good stuff. Hey, we need a joke here. It doesn't have to be good. No, there are two jokes in this movie and I think he does both of them. Sure. He's the comic relief. Two jokes. I think that's all they can afford.

It's all they could afford. He was like, I'm charging you for every stupid thing you make me say the wig budget alone. He doesn't get a wig though. His hair is just his hair. He's just like, he's just that man. No accent, no wig. That's how he does. That's what he's doing. I'm Ron Berlman and I approve this message. I couldn't figure out why they were being arrested for the longest. I was like, what did they do? I don't know what the crime is. You can't just leave the army. That's against the law. We see a bunch of doctors in plague masks, which I liked.

I always love a plague mask. Sure. Yeah. It's so spooky. And then who the fuck is in the bed? Who? Who's in the bed? Katie. It's Christopher fucking Lee. It's Christopher Lee. All all gunked up. He's though his works are all gummed up. Sir, why you put all this stuff on Christopher Lee's face? Christopher Lee can't consent to this, much like a black cat getting their asshole kiss. How old is Christopher Lee in 2011?

Old. Dirk. Old. Yeah. There are rocks younger than him at this point. Yes. Um, so he's like, Hey man, the witch brought the plague here. I need you to take her to Cesarac with Debalzac.

Yeah. Debalzac. Come on. How can you do this to me? He was 89 by the way. Yeah. Yeah. That's damn near 90 years old. Most people don't make it that long statistically. I think he was still making heavy metal records at that point in time. So cool. He has heard of them. He read about them in a magazine. They were featured in last month's Atlantic.

Yeah. This doesn't make any sense to me. Crusader, crusader, crusaders. It's the 14th century. Ha ha ha. Oh, shit. It's you, Ron Perlman and Nicholas Cage. So yes, in order to destroy the witches powers,

they have to transport this young girl to Cesarac, which will end the plague. And they're being told this by a man with the babyest of baby bangs. I refer to him. I know he's DeBallzac, which is a great name, but I refer to him only to baby bangs. I refer to him. I know he's DeBall's act. Yeah. Which is a great name, but I refer to him only as baby banks. And, and, and you want to talk about things that look like a penis, that fucking haircut haircut. This really is Lord of the Rings though. Isn't it? They have to like throw her into Mordor. This is more like bored of the rings. If you ask me.

I have never been so bored in a werewolf ambulance movie as I was circa about one hour into this one. Listen, I love old timey shit. Yeah. Fucking sword fight shit. Sure. Demons, witches, wizards, Christopher Lee. These are all in your wheelhouse.

Your wheelhouse run, wheelhouse runneth over. Beautiful scenery. You love it. I am, I am to escape reality right now. I have gone hard into Dungeon Synth recently. That's not recent though, is it? But like I'm hard in the paint. I'm like, all right, send me a playlist. I'll check it out. Please. I've been trying not to talk to people about it because nobody wants to talk. It's, this is worse than when I like, like, well, I don't bring up free jazz around a lot of people. Cause nobody likes free jazz, but you. It's the notes that they don't play. I know, I know, I know. Listen, I'll listen to it, but I don't want to talk about it. One of my favorite books of the past few years is called Between Two Fires by Christopher Buhlmann,

which is about a knight in plague times, saving a young girl and killing the pope maybe. It's a great fucking book, go read it. This movie should have been for me, Katie. It should have been, it's really perfect for you. The Venn diagram of you in this movie is practically a circle. I was trying to think of a good analogy

for what this movie was for me. It's a bad hand job. A bad hand job. You should be like excited to like mildly engaged with any hand job. Sure. And this one is just like, you're just mashing it. You're just, it's just, just hitting it with your limp and knuckle over and over hitting my limp penis. Is that not what a hand job is? I apologize to every man I knew from the age of 14 to 17.

Poking it with a cold stick of butter. Gross. Just. That silence that you just heard was us miming bad hand jobs. I was doing a little, um, a little what's not gaffer, what's it called? A fully work by hitting my limp hand into my thigh. Guys, we're off the rails. Things.

This has been the worst year of my entire life. I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's chewed. It's chewed. And it's been 105 degrees for three days. So okay. So these dick whispers. Yeah. These fucking titty knuckles. They have to go on this quest. To take this.

They don't have to. They do. No, I guess they have to. They have to or they say in jail. Or yeah, I guess they don't just, I guess you don't just get jailed infinitely in the 14th century. Do you? No, no, there's only so much gruel to go around. The gruel is limited again and fucking, uh, I want to call him gone in 60 seconds. Nicholas Gage. I think you can call him that. I think he responds to that if you say it to him in public. Let's go.

I wish he did the Elvis hands in this movie. He only does one like Nick Cage freak out and it's very minor. Yeah. We do get the second joke here, which is Ron Perlman says, what does that smell? And Nick Cage says that would be you. And it's delivered like that would be you. And it's delivered like Katie just did. The most bored hand job you've ever had, you know? That would be you. Cut, I guess?

Yeah, great work, everybody. We'll print. Nick Cage loves a damsel in distress, though. That is his wheelhouse. It's his MO. Yeah. And this damsel in distress though. That is his wheelhouse. It's his MO. Yeah. And this damsel is distressed. And once she talks to him, she gets doe-eyed.

She's so pretty. Later she'll be the queen of England. Oh, really? She plays Elizabeth in The Crown. Good for her. Good for her. Getting good work. Look at you.

Start at the bottom now. Look where you are. That's actually a pretty good movie to start off with, getting good work. Look at you, starting off, start at the bottom now, look where you are. It's actually a pretty good movie to start off with, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got eyes on you. How powerful is a witch if a regular ass sedative knocks her out? Or did it?

I don't know because Ron Perlman hits her in the back of the head and that also sedates her. He goes, now she's sedated. Oh, our hero. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but we do see her like leap up and attack. She like goes for the choke on each of them. I say go for the eyes, but that's just me. Sure. Eyes and testicles, eyes and testicles. Just like your cat will when you die.

The soft bits first. What? It's true. So they need a guide. Who's going to guide them? Who's going to take them through this forest? The Wyrmwood forest, the enchanted forest they have to go through. It's Stephen Graham.

It's Stephen fucking Graham. TV hero of England. Line of duty alum, Stephen Graham. Wait. Oh yeah, season six. You're right. He's the undercover who goes deep. He's the undercover who goes deep. He's the undercover who goes deep.

Yeah. Steven Graham. We have to get back to our line of duty cast. You let me know when you've got the time. I'm fucking on it. Did we do episodes one and two or just one? Just one. Oh my God.

Just one? Maybe one and two. Just one. I have to go back in the chair. Oh, you have to go back in the chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And then let me know and we'll do another one soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that would keep me going,

knowing I have so much line of duty I have to rewatch. But you can't just keep watching it like you did last time. No, I'm all fucked up now. I'm gonna have to rewatch two or three or four or whatever I watched, fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's okay. No, you're right, it'll come right back.

And it's like an onion, it just gives you more every time you watch it. That bitch Jackie. A show that I do. I wish we could see the stats to see how many of our Patrons actually listened to that. Oh God. I hope all of them. I bet none of them. I bet it literally under 10 people.

You say this, but one of our most two, three of our most beloved episodes of the Titanic episodes. Yeah. And that was fucking insane. Nonsense. Everyone's seen Titanic though. They know what you were talking about. They all had girlfriends when they were 14 too, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At this point I referred to the new gentleman who has joined them, the child as Luigi Manjone. He stops looking like that eventually,

but in this first scene he does. He's sad too. Sure, I mean, you know. Plague. Plague. Plague. I literally don't even remember where he came from. He was just like, hey, I'm here.

That is exactly it. He rolls up and says, hey, I'm here. He's an altar boy, we learn. And he's got a crustache. He rolls up and says, Hey, I'm here. He's an altar boy. We learn and he's got a crustache. So crusty. He looks dirty just based on his facial hair. Like you could smell him just based on his face. Oh yeah. He smells like he hangs out at a gas station cause his friend works there. Yeah. And then there's this dildo Eckert that's with them. Yeah. What's his deal? I don't know that he's a dildo. I think he's a good guy. Yeah. But the witch says to Nicolas Cage,

you're not like the others, you're kind. And then she's like, Eckhart's always so kind to me. And I was like, you're fucking lying. I guess that's, she's a demon. Yeah. Oh yeah. Spoiler alert. She's been a demon the whole time. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna. She's been a demon. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna. This movie does the thing, the unforgivable thing of, Oh, all of those plot holes that you were picking apart. She was a demon the whole time. That's it. That's it right there. She was a demon the whole time. Aye, aye, aye. So Eckhart doesn't believe she's a witch and he also misses his dead family. Yeah. His family all died of the plague.

These people are also always touching plague bodies. Don't touch the plague bodies. They didn't know. You'll get the plague. Germ theory wasn't even a thing. I know, but wouldn't you not touch it anyway? Nah. Nah, you gotta touch it.

You just put your fingers in. Yeah, just dip your limp, bad hand job dick right into it. I mean, what if the poke in a coconut plus jewel is the best feeling ever? Maybe that's your thing. So he wants to be a night that does the child. Yeah. Yeah. So he pledges himself to their service. Cause he's also heard of them. He also read the Atlantic last month. Okay.

Does anybody really read the Atlanta? We just get it and be like, Oh yeah, so I have the Atlantic. Of course. I read recaps of the Atlantic. Like Reader's Digest. Oh my God. So yeah, he's got to, he's got a fight Ron Pearlman to show that he's got sword skills. And they, they, they, yeah. Oh my God. It's yeah. I don't know. They tell them about signing up for the crusades and they're like, this was a terrible mistake. Do not do that. They call him a little Jack rabbit, which just feels like a cute mini insult. Like one friend of the podcast pie call someone a pork chop. I think it's a cute little mini insult. Yeah. Yeah.

I like calling people Jackson. All right, Jackson, let's go do that. Okay. It just, it feels like you might be calling somebody out or he might just be like, Hey, I got a nickname. Now I'm Jackson. Hey, it's me Jackson. Oh my God. Okay. I just Googled it because I had a note in my note to myself here saying, look up when hard boiled eggs were invented way before this boiling eggs became more common with the invention of pottery around 5,000 BC. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is weird because the earth is only 6,000 years old. When did it heart heart boiled eggs were here before people heart boiled eggs and dinosaurs and people were all here at the same time. I'm not sure what I believe. Soon as we had a hot spring, we had heart boiled eggs. Some dildo dropped their egg in there. It was like, Oh man, that's my egg. And then it was like, Oh, this is so much better. Yeah. Now I'm going to make egg salad. Fuck all of you love heart boiled eggs. Yeah. So does one of my dogs.

You can't crack one in the house without her running to whatever room you're in. Very sweet. And I say that like I eat hard boiled eggs in the bathroom. I eat them in one of two rooms. I'm gonna start bringing hard boiled eggs over and cracking them in every room. Theory tested.

The best $14 I ever spent was this little machine that boils your eggs for you. It's like a little, I got it on $14 I ever spent was this little machine that boils your eggs for you. It's like a little, I got it on amazon.com. It's a website with the Jeff Bezos. You plug it in, you put eggs in these little stand up things, you pour some water in, you put a lid on it, you press the button. When the water evaporates, the eggs are done. They're so easy to peel.

You don't have to fuck with an ice bath. I'm just saying, if you want, this message brought to you by Jeff Bezos, go on his website, get yourself a hard boiled egg maker. Awesome to shout out to a rich person, though she's dead at this point. I still use the Julia Childs method. She was a lovely person.

Yeah, she was like in the OSS and stuff. She was like- So cool. Yeah, she's a cool lady. I was a lovely person. Yeah, she was like in the OSS and stuff. She was like- Yeah, she's so cool. Yeah, yeah, she's a cool lady. I was all giant. Yeah, yeah, but 10 minutes in boiling water, then an ice bath, and then you crack those fuckers. Yeah, but what if you don't have to do the ice bath?

What if you can just plug it into this little machine? Yeah, but I feel like if I don't do the ice bath, I'm cheating. I'm cheating myself out of an ice bath flavor. But I like that you have this machine. I was wanting to buy those little frying pans that are just for a single egg. Yeah, they're cute.

This machine also has, oh, you can make a poached egg in it. Oh, nice. But I don't, I haven't sorted that yet. Okay. You gotta get your little, little strips of toast you could dip right in there. I'm not sure I like a poached egg. Okay.

I'm not sure I've ever had a poached egg. Cooking in a, let's stop. Thieving is worse than adultery. Fuck capitalism. This movie, Katie. I don't know, I'm just looking at all my notes and thinking which of these do I want to discuss? And the answer is none. None of these.

So Eckhart is, is on witch watch duty at night. And then the friar priest guy comes to the, the baby bangs, baby bangs, baby bangs, baby bangs, all the way around, all the way around. It's like he started cutting them and was like, I just don't know where I don't know where. Where does the bang end? If you think about it, it's true. It's hard to say. So he comes to, to relieve Eckhart.

And she's sleeping with her head in between the bars, which I thought was very funny, like a puppy. Move it back. her head in between the bars, which I thought was very funny, like a puppy. Yeah. Move it back. And she, she claims that, uh, she can't be left alone with him because he's abused her in the past. Yeah. Was that true? Or was that the demon? She's a demon. She's got a problem. I mean, yeah, I mean, right.

They're both shitty. They're both, both sheds. I mean, I kind of, maybe I take a demon over a priest at this point. I mean, if I have to kiss someone's butthole, it's going to be the devil's, right? It's not going to be a priest. At least there's a chance of getting magic out of it. Exactly. Exactly. I wouldn't, I would rather rip my own lips off than kiss a priest's butthole. You could take that to the bank.

And they're like, why have you brought this here? I don't want this, take this with you. Nope, put it in the bank, sir. Okay, it's in your account now. So she stabs the priest in the hand with his own, with the key or with his own cross? She yells, give me that key so that we know he has a key. Yeah. And then stabs him with the cross in his hand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then gets out because she got the key. And then I thought Eckhart was dead here? Nope. He was about to let her out because he didn't believe that she was a witch. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then the priest came along. Yeah.

Fucked everything up. Yeah. So now they have to go hunt her in a village. Right. They grab a lady who has the plague. Will they get the plague? They don't. They don't get the plague. No. Yeah. Fucked everything up. Yeah. So now they have to go hunt her in a village. Right. They grab a lady who has the plague. Will they get the plague? They don't. They don't get the plague. No. Okay. No. I mean, what is the gestation period of the plague? Like how long do they got? I don't know. Yeah. Great question. I mean, they might have all get plagued out by the end of this and we just don't see it.

It's true. And I bet being having a demon inside you is a bit of like plague immunity. Oh, sure, sure. Yeah. No one else lives long enough to find out, you're right. Exactly. Except for Luigi. In this fiction, he lives long enough to find out if he got the plague. Yeah.

They're just in a mass grave of plague victims. Get out of there, buckaroos. There's people collecting plague bodies in the town. You always gotta love that. Yes, there's this mass grave and they're just like, ew, icky. They are. Oh, we also heard Eckhart tell the witch

about his daughter, Mila, who died of the plague. So now the witch is pulling games, playing little japs and jokes. Japs and jabs and jokes. Pretending to be little Mila. Yes, making him run all over this mass grave. Yeah. And there's a dog barking at Nick Cage like,

Apple, your dog barks at me until I get close enough to her and she realizes it's me. Why does she growl at me when I'm a foot in front of her? She does that to everybody. And then I open the door and she's like, hey. She's literally growling at me. If you were a dude, you used to terrify me. And now I'm just like, you're so fucking stupid. She beat you down. She beat me down.

If you were a dude, it would not stop when you came in the house. Really? She keeps growling. Oh yeah. Yeah. Dave gets the business for awhile. Well, Hey Dave. Hi Dave. Um, I also growl at Dave when he comes in my house. Is that not right? No, no. You got to keep him on his toes. I don't like, I don't like Dave to get too comfortable. You know what I mean? Don't worry. He's not Dave. Hi Dave. So, uh, uh, uh, the, the witches running all over town,

they're running through something that like, is it caves, is it a stone maze that the town has set up? Unclear. They're back to trying to give her traumatic brain injuries by just hitting her in the head. And Eckhart is running towards his daughter. Mila. Not his daughter.

Not Mila. It's Luigi Mangione with a sword and stabs him and he dies. Yeah. Rip. Yeah. Oh man. And then she claims that the priest is a real grosso. Yeah. She smirks at baby bangs and then claims he's a grosso. And Nick Cage is like Izzy though. Izzy. Why is he like that? Izzy. I don't know. Then there's a protracted scene of them trying to get across a bridge with a wagon and horses. I hate this. There's a movie by William Friedkin called Sorcerer,

which is like people in a jungle trying to take dynamite across the bridge and the scene is very like this, but then put into the hands of a maestro like William Friedkin is actually a very tense and intense scene. Yeah. And this was like watching someone else play the Witcher for a while. Oh, it goes on forever. And like they're doing dumb shit. Yes, like they're having the little guy pull the wagon. Why is Ron Perlman not pulling the wagon?

He's a big guy. Also, just run the fuck across it. Who gives a shit? It's going to fall. It's going to fall. They set up this elaborate system of ropes and pulleys and it like cuts up the priest's hands. Right.

Because he's already got the wound in his hand. I see. By getting that stigmata from the witch. Right. Which is just rude. I mean, that's like his guy's thing. Yeah. Yeah. So he, yeah, he's.

It's a real slap in the face. It's a real slap in the limp dick. How does Jesus give hand jobs? Oh, Alan, he's doing, he's putting his, for those of you who can't see him, which is all of you, his hand is up as though he's giving a high five and he's moving it back and forth as though he's giving a high five,

but you see, because Jesus had the holes in his hand, because Jesus got him right into a cross. My grandmother's rolling over in her grave with me making jokes like this. I hope you're happy. Sorry, Nana. Nana, love you, but I'm sorry. It's gotta be done.

It's gotta be done. Look, what's done is done. I got a blast, Vy. What's said is said. You wouldn't ask rain not to be wet. So guess what? They make it across the bridge. Yeah, and then the bridge fails and falls.

Yeah. And dun dun dun, guess where they are? Where? Wyrmwood Forest. Right, this is where the Stephen Graham's character, who is a merchant who has traveled this route before. Yeah, he came here from Brooklyn. Yeah, he sells the pizza pies.

He's a real Brooklyn pizza. He literally sounds, if you close your eyes, he's Billy Crystal, it's insane. He's Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. He'll have what she's having. I'm exhausted of this movie. So she shows a little witchiness to Bayman who is Nicholas Cage's character. Right. She says, do you believe I'm a witch? And then the torch he's holding goes out and then comes back on. I thought that was a little cute and clever.

And at that point he said, well, I guess yes. Yes, I do believe you're a witch. Magic is at foot. Yeah. Fucking idiot. But Stephen Graham has a plan. What's the plan? He's gonna kill the witch. Yeah. Cause he's done with this shit.

But what happens to him? He doesn't, he gets attacked by wolves. Yeah, the wolves. Why those wolves do that? I don't know. I wrote here, this movie is so boring that I missed wolves killing someone. Wolves, scary.

Yeah. If I'm being tracked by wolves. I'm freaking the fuck out. If I'm being tracked by a beagle, I'm freaking the fuck out. And, but for some reason, these wolves, their faces, CGI, all of a sudden they'll be like, how looks like shit. It looks like shit. And it was like, Oh, they're not scary anymore. And it's also 2011 when I feel like CGI was better than this. Yeah. This isn't early days, you know?

No, no, but I still, every time it comes up, I say Jurassic Park looked fucking great. 1993. Yeah. Yep. So they, the wolves, they kill Stephen Graham and Bayman's real sad about it. Yeah, I don't know why.

Cause he doesn't want any of his, you know, he's like a no man left behind kind of thing. Okay, all right, you're right, he's an army guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Ron Perlman's like, hey man, cheer up. There it is, Cesarac right there, let's go. Right here I've written, K, I gotta stop. And then I took no more notes.

Free ballin' it from here, Alan. There's so much fucking movie left. Well, not a few sleeps or some of it. What'd you dream about? Tell me about your dreams. Oh God, I could hear it. I could like hear it in my sleep. You know what I mean? So I felt like I watched.

I watched of it. I hear the movies that you peep. Well, I'm taking a little sleep. I needed a little sleep. All right. Tell me what happened next. I have a note that says, is Ron Perlman a bad actor or is this movie just making it feel that way?

I have only seen him in a few roles. But I don't think he's a bad actor. No, no, no. I've seen him in a ton of stuff and I think he's great. Oh, okay. Yeah, but it's but this movie makes you rethink everything you've ever thought about everything. Yeah, and not in a good way.

His character is like a big dumb guy who just does whatever Nicolas Cage, again, the smart one, says. Well, yeah, he's got a face that just makes you go, that's the smart guy. No one's buying this. Even though historically all of his early roles were, that's the dumb guy. Yeah one's buying this. Even though historically all of his early roles were, that's the dumb guy.

Yeah, exactly. Cause he is. Cause he looks it. Face off. That's a good ass movie. Oh, isn't it though? So they go to the Cesarac and there's nobody home, but they're all monks that have the plague

and they're investors and they're hanging out, but there's one monk still alive who gets last rites. Oh, right. Some are like spittling, I don't know why. Just die already. But the spittle budget. So they've got the book from the beginning of the movie, The Key of Solomon.

And this is like, what Baby Bang says, that it's like where they kept all their like incantations and stuff in this thing. So that's what this book is for them. And it's got ways to handle a witch. It's got your witch recipes really. Yeah, yeah. So he's gonna start reading off how to do witch stuff.

And then the witch is like, oh by the way, I'm not a witch. Yes. I'm a fucking demon. It does like demon voice. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and she starts talking shit about Nicolas Cage and all the stuff he's done. Yeah. Cause, uh, yeah, he's not a good dude. No. So Balzac, DeBalzac? DeBalzac. DeBalzac. Suck up on Debalzac. That's right below the shitty hand job. Debalzac.

Debalzac. It's when you just flick it bored. Like you're, I don't know. I've got nothing. Oh, did you drop your phone for that? I did. Now I have to pick it back up. I don't know where I thought it was going to, I don't know what I thought was going to happen when I let go of it. Man, just like a fucking boring hand job. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So he just like flips ahead in the book to the demon exorcism and just reads that part of it. It's like, why?

She turns into a bat, does not yell bat before it happens, which I was really hoping. You know, I was just talking to someone about this. If I ever find out that Matt Barry is a bad person, I'm gonna be devastated. He better not fuck up. Missy and I are real worried about Noel Fielding because he spent a lot of time with Russell Brand back in the day. Oh.

And like no good can come of that. No. Yeah. Ew. So yeah. So they're gonna hunt her now. She's a demon bat flying around, and there are a bunch of other demon bats flying around.

Who are they? Whomst are they, we do not know. Wonderful. This is never brought up. Okay. This is just the level of the video game where not the demon bats show up. Okay.

And they're like, hey, Kai, Luigi, you're probably gonna die, so we're gonna make you a night right now. Yeah, that's, it's like meant to be tender or nice or something and I just don't give a shit because he does it so like half-heartedly too. And the kid's like, I know that wasn't real. It's like when I would tell my kid that the park was closed

and we couldn't go there, you know? Oh, there's no ice cream today. I'm sorry, ice cream is closed today. Ice cream is closed today. She would know. She would know. She would fucking know. So they go to the library

and while they're in the library, demons start going into the monks' bodies. Oh yeah, I do sort of remember that. And all the monks are tied to the desks. They gotta make more sort of remember that. And all the monks are tied to the desks. They gotta make more copies of this book. Who tied them there? Monks.

Why? Books. I mean, if you like reading, that's okay. Well, they're writing them. They're not reading them. They're drawing more books. Why do they have to be tied there to do it? Because they need more books.

Well, if they- Monks. If you're, all right, you got me. You win. We see her in her full demon glory, to which I have a note that says, Boo, the demon in the golden child looked better than this.

Wait, which one was the golden child? The golden child, the one with Eddie Murphy, where they're fighting the demon? Oh yeah, that was like last month. It's Adam Nomspa. I don't know that it looked better than this, but that's cute that you think so and I appreciate it very much. And so there's this this thing, this wrinkle in this movie that happens where you defeat a demon and another one drops from the ceiling on you? Yeah, it's like Double Dragon.

It's so, hmm, what's the word I'm looking for? Stupid. So stupid. So stupid. So deeply fucking stupid. Because it's not, like, it'd be one thing if they were fighting in these beautiful, extravagant ways. No, it's just brawling.

Yeah, it's not very fun. No. Yeah, but I do like what happens to Ron Perlman. I like, well first I like that he breaks DeBall's axe neck. Yeah. Because fuck that guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If nothing else for those bangs.

For me, giving Baby Bang's a bad name, as a baby bang haver. I mean, if your name's DeBall's axe, you're gonna give any haircut a bad name. It's true. It's just a bad name all around. So Ron Perlman gets stabbed. Yes. You think he's dead.

Very sort of ignominiously. And then in the next cut, he's just standing up and fighting again. You don't see him like rise from the ground and a show of glory and strength. No, he just is fighting again. He should have yelled, ha ha! Ha ha! And the demon hugs him. Gives him a fire hug.

And then immolates him. Yeah. And it was like, all right, that was pretty cool. That was pretty cool. I like that. Even though the demon looks like shit. The demon looks like, do you remember that Gargoyles cartoon? Yes! It looks like a like first draft of one of those. Do you remember that Gargoyles cartoon? Yes. It looks like a first draft of one of those.

Yes, brought to life. Brought to life. Absolutely. I accidentally set some parchment paper on fire under the broiler this week, and that's exactly what Ron Bromman looked like. It doesn't look great. No. No.

And then it's, make your household smelly. Yeah, it's not, I mean, it wasn't great on my part, it wasn't great on their part. No. And then it's bigger household smelly. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't great on my part. It wasn't great on their part. But at least mine was an accident. So, the kid can read Latin now? Cause he was a... He was an altar boy.

So perhaps he'd studied. Okay. All right. All right. As an altar person myself. Sure. I was not. As an altered beast myself.

Yeah. Rars from your grave. So he's doing the incantations and Nicolas Cage nails the demon to the wall, but not well enough that it can't stab him a hundred times. Yeah, do better. Do better. Yeah.

I don't give a shit that this man is dead. Yeah, no, none of them. I just kept being like, rip. She drops out of the demon's body and the witch lady is back. Anna is back. Yeah, she introduces herself as Anna. Yeah, she drops out naked.

Nicholas, of course she does. Nicholas Cage says to Luigi Mangione, a phrase I never thought I'd get to say, he asks him to keep her safe as though he were her dad. Keep her safe. He's not, she's not yours to give, sir. What are your intentions with my witch? The sky clears and then they go outside and then Luigi Mendi and gets the plague and gives

it to the lady and they both die. Yeah, they both die. And we get to watch it. It's a living. It's a living here in the middle ages. What's your final note? Oh, that was like, oh, it was a K. I got to stop. My final note.

Mine was what a butt of a movie. You wanna rate this bitch? Yeah, I give it three anuses of a black cat. I give it four limp fingers hitting a limp penis. We did it. We did it, we seasoned your witch. Oh God. The seasoning of the witch.

Better season of the witch than Halloween III? No. Get out of here. Get out of here. Even you have to admit that Halloween III. Even I. How did they get Stonehenge to California? Well, you see what they did was they took it from Anglent to California.

I see. Oh, so just brought it over. Yeah, but throw it on a pickup truck. Drive it across the Atlantic and then the whole country. Sounds great. Go on. What's next? It's not, it's not the, the why but the how and the why and the how and the wide and the wow. So many, I can't even get into that again.

Katie Allen. I have a question for you. I have to answer. Hopefully. Do you want to see what's in the box or do you want to try a cookie first? Um, let's see what's in the box first and then we'll tell them what movie we're doing next week and then we'll try the cookies so that people who don't like to hear us eat have don't have to hear us eat. We do this podcast together because you're the smart one. We do this part together because you're the nice one and the funny one. Oh, come on now, come with it now. Da da da da da da da da. Katie. What? I'm gonna need you to open this box. Okay, I'm gonna put my mic down because we're in the recording annex this week

because it's 150 degrees in Pittsburgh. Yeah. And I can't hold it. The attic was literally stifling when I went upstairs to get all the equipment. Here's a note. Katie's about to read it. This is my donation to the museum. Love you guys.

You guys should check out Harbinger Down, Lance Henriksen's vehicle with strong, the thing vibes and cinematic ties. Love, Colin. No. I've never heard of it. Have you? Harbinger Down?

No. Donation to the museum. Do you know what's in here? I have seen it. Okay, let me start. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. It is a snow globe that has binary code Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

It is a snow globe that has binary code as snowflakes. Now I wanna tell you something funny about the snow globe and in the middle of it is a computer. It says 010100 and there's shit popping out of it like a floppy disk. There's a smaller version of the snow globe in the museum that I purchased on eBay, but I was too cheap to buy the big one.

So thank you for sending us the big one, Colin. It's not binary code, it's January 1st, 2000. No, it's binary codes, zeros and ones. Oh yeah, all right, I guess so. I guess it's both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Holy shit, Alan, thank you for that revelation. Yeah.

Colin, thank you for paying to ship this massively heavy snow globe to us. So, thank you for paying to ship this massively heavy snow globe to us. So sweet of you. Christina is going to be thrilled. I like that there's a mama and a baby. There's a mama and a baby. Here's the thing.

I need to figure out, as the financial person, how to make the museum a 501C3 so that Colin can write this off on his taxes. Oh, smart. I'm on it. I'll get back to you. Colin, you pay taxes? Get in touch.

Cullen, don't pay your taxes. It's not worthwhile anymore. I say this as a financial person. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So sweet. I really love the idea that at this point, tangential to the podcast things are getting gifts. Yeah, that's great.

That's really, really, really good. The podcast that the owner of the museum will never appear on. She's so funny though. She's a really funny lady. I think I'm a big fan. She's very sweet. Tough shit huh? Tough for us. I think we could force her to do it if she wants that 501c. That's true I'll do the research. All right. I'm on it. I can manipulate. Fantastic. I just love snow globes in general. I know there's great idea. I hate snow. Love globes. I do love globes. Katie Allen.

Let's tell this people what we're going to do next week so that we can eat a cookie. What are we doing next week? Actually, can I tell them? This is one of the movies that I chose and then yelled fuck you at Alan. I do that occasionally. We get sudden, very short bursts of being confrontational with one another. Yeah.

And then it's over, like that. Yeah, that's what a good, healthy relationship means. Absolutely, get confrontational and then immediately back down. We are going to do the 2025 scarecrow movie field of screams. What if this is the one you saw? What if, what if it is, what if I'm a time traveler? What if I came to 2025 and was like, wow,

this shit actually really fucking blows. And then I just went back to 2010 and w and the Scarecrow movie though, you know? I would like that you didn't go back very far. Well, in 2010 I was 26 years old. I was peak hot, you know? Where am I going from, that's the best place to be, 26 I would think. Oh. Don't you think?

Not for this guy. No? I've really grown into being an attractive man. Oh. Yeah. I've grown out of being an attractive man. Oh. Yeah, I was- I've grown out of being an attractive woman. Do not agree. I just think that's the way it goes for men and women.

Sure, yeah, no. I just think that's the way it goes, yeah. I can keep looking more and more like Santa Claus and people are like, oh, distinguished. Yeah, you are distinguished. I'm wearing a camouflage hat that literally says goblet across it. You are, you are.

He's very distinguished. He's such a distinguished man. You have a gravitas that people will believe what you say. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, come back for a 2025 field of screams. Maybe this will be a good thing to come out of this fucking year field of screen. There's no way it's going to be good. And I'm very excited to talk about it. What if it's great?

What if, what if, what if, I mean, something's gotta be right. I mean, we didn't think hella else LLC was going to be great. And look at us now, look at us now. No, we've gotten nothing from it. Actually. Almost got into one of those movies. I think Steven Cognetti liked one of our tweets once. One guy from the movie got in touch with us. Oh yeah. We never, we should have, we never followed up with him. Did we? No, we're bad at that. Following up isn't my thing. up isn't really my jam.

So come back for that. If you don't want to hear us eat cookies, turn the podcast off now. Okay, but what are we eating? We're eating the Selena Gomez Oreo. Why is it Selena Gomez? Because I believe it's supposed to be Selena's chocolate and cinnamon cream cookie.

Okay. It's supposed to taste a bit like horchata. Horchata. All right, let's give it a shot. to taste a bit like horchata. Horchata. All right, let's give it a shot. Let's give it a horchata. I will say I love Selena Gomez's makeup line. I use her Rare Beauty liquid blush and liquid highlighter. And I like them both very much.

And I think they're reasonably priced for the quality that they are. I'm trying to do an ad here. Oh yeah, this episode is brought to you by big Selena. I think Selena Gomez is great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Please. Wait, is Selena Gomez the one who does rare beauty? Yes. She's the, yeah. And she's the, she's the only murders in the, yeah. She's great. Great. All right. What's the little image you got on your cookie?

Handcuffs? It says, Headphones? Selenitors? Selenitors? What does this say? I think that's the name for fan base. Selenitors. Selenit, like Mr. Selenitor?

Selenitors? How do you say it? It's gotta be Selenitors, right? But it's spelled like senators, selenitors. Like centaurs. Is this a musical note in the middle? It's a musical note and I think maybe two stars. Is mine handcuffs or headphones or both?

I think it says 69. Hell yeah. Nice. Let's give it a whiff, let's give it a whiff. Smells nice, smells nice. It's a nice cookie. It's all right, it's all right. They did not make the chocolate sweeter, which I appreciate. Yeah. The cinnamon and the cream is good.

I would eat these. Mm hmm. I may be biased because that liquid blush really brings out my cheekbones. But I'm enjoying this. Yeah, yeah. You? How's she getting her own Oreo? Why don't we have our own Oreo?

What would ours be? Mango? You like mango? Mango, fuck yourself. Mango. That would be the name of it, the mango, fuck yourself Oreo. Mango, fuck yourself Oreo. Oh, mango Oreos.

What a nightmare. Well, it would be icy, light mango flavored Oreo. Understood now. Yeah. All right. And maybe some black licorice in there to really bring it out. Werewolf Ambulance, nobody wants it.

Ha ha ha. Werewolf Ambulance Oreos, you're fired. You're. You should have been fired 10 years ago. Ha ha ha. Oh well, we were failing upward. Onward and upward. That's why you did this podcast with the older white man. So you can just fail upward.

I'm failing upward every day, Alan. So yeah, Selena Gomez, you did it. Yay, thank you. Thanks for giving me another thing I enjoy. I still haven't had the Post Malone Oreo. I didn't know that one. I didn't know this existed either. What flavors post Malone, magically gathering cards and sweat. Vape juice.

You love to see it. Yeah. All right. So come back next week for a field of screams. Yeah. And thanks to Colin for contributing to the museum. Super appreciated. Colin, so sweet. Sweet baby. Yeah. And, all right. If you want to get at us on the internet,

you can go to werewolfambulance.com. There's a link tree there. We're on some social media, but if you want to get in touch with us, werewolfambulance.gmail.com is the best way to do it. Alan reads those and sends them to me when appropriate. Yep. Yeah. and deletes them before I can see them when not appropriate.

And we've got a, I've got to send you stuff about the wedding stuff. So we can. Oh, okay. We got to talk about that. Um, and and we've got a Patreon, patreon.com backslash world of ambulance. You can see our merch that's for sale on T public. Yeah. Go there and search for world of ambulance. I think last month we've made the most amount of money we've ever made on Tee Public. What am I wearing right now?

You're wearing the Get High and Do Crimes for Satan T-shirt that Justin Gray made. I got it in Kelly Green because weed, man. And also there's Tee Public soft shirts are so soft. Feel how soft this is. No, I want you to feel it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we'll see you guys next week.

Yeah, take care of yourselves, take care of each other and be kind you guys next week. Yeah. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and be kind. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Many acts ain't not dead rules, so many signings and the pool Nowhere to wait, but let's keep on filling the blues Killer plans and land the face, killing him in outer space Appearance I've passed the encase case Please make eye-contact in your grave

EMT, horror and comedy Refuse hungry Brian from Wings and Stephen King EMT, we live deliciously Bad temperatures, obese, gracily come to die A pair of normal, active dicks Promise to Roger City, EMT, EMT