Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 534- The Monkey (2025)

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

In this week's episode, we're discussing a brand new horror comedy, 2025's The Monkey, a film dripping with people we like! Special topics for your consideration include: the meaninglessness of it all, cop dads, bucket hats and primate masks at the strip club, a lil bit of Steven Kang, and a whole lot of being a pre-teen boy. You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. Get in now to vote for our next one! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Hey, buddy. How you doing? Oh, you know, fucking fantastic. How about you? Oh, man, fucking king of the world. Love being queen of the world. Last week we were only the king and queen of America. week the world.

Oh yeah, world domination is going really, really well. I feel like you and I doing world domination would be pretty chill. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty chill. Why aren't more world leaders chill? Hmm. Who are your favorite chill world leaders go? That lady from New Zealand

who resigned in disgrace. I forget her name. Jacinda something? Arden maybe? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what her disgrace was. Nudes, I think. she posted nudes it did happen

can you tell them what your new catchphrase is oh post nudes or it didn't happen you know that catchphrase from like 2001 actually it sounds like justinda arden just kind of lost popularity sorry i said she posted nudes that's a shitty thing to say that was an anti-feminist thing to say no it's uh anyway we're not going to defend something that didn't actually happen to just I'm lying with her posting nudes. Yeah, exactly.

Jeez, obviously. Free the nip. This is my other catchphrase that I'm bringing back. Free the nip? Yeah, yeah, yeah, free the nip. Oh, I don't know about that one. I feel like that's a little aggressive for you.

See, this is what happens when you get power in world domination. Exactly. You start demanding nips. No, just saying, hey, throw your dimples out there if you want to. If you want to. Yeah, put a fried egg on it if you want to.

us a Friday on it. Why? Why? I feel like this has been the worst cold intro we've ever done. That can't be true. Yeah, you're right. We've been doing this since 1973. Just have to think of all the things I have to apologize for. I'm going to do my apology world tour next week.

If you're waiting for an apology from me, you're going to get it next week. So, but instead, in lieu of that, this week, we're bringing you a Stephen Kang story. Yeah, 1980. story. Through the mind hole of Osgood Perkins. Had you ever read this story? I must have. Yeah. I feel like I must have. I, I voraciously read Dr. King. The Dr. King and his works of, yeah. Yes. Not that Dr. King, the other one. Right, right. The one from Maine. Not the, not the civil rights leader. Yeah, it's not the actual doctor. Yeah, that's not great. I said it and I was like, no, that's a real, that's a real fucking,

I don't know I respect for much. Oh, Jesus. Should we literally just start this episode over? I have to edit this week. No way, dude. No edits. You guys are getting it raw. Apology World Tour.

Here we come. We're rave ambulance giving it to you raw. We're raw dog in this episode. Oh, had you read this story? No, definitely not. Before we get into this movie, you know what this movie is, right? what it's a movie do you remember the the what was it like the mystical house of mystical shop of merlin the mystery science theater movie that's like a bunch of vignettes um that are like it's it's it's a bunch of shorter films or films that are cut down and they're brought together with merlin and ernest borgine telling a kid about merlin definitely not i must have missed that one but there's a whole like early 80s movie about a monkey a toy monkey that kills people.

Okay, okay. And I was like, Oscar Perkins. Yeah. You're stealing from that vignette. Was it based on the Stephen King story, though, because it was in 1980. Right.

Yeah, yeah. And did, also, you know who had his stinky little fingers in this? Is that Mr. Wan-averse himself? Mr. Waniverse himself, James Wan. Stinky little fingers. Stinky little fingers. I was eating cheese doodles.

This, one of the production companies, yeah, stinky little fingers. Yeah. One of the production companies that put out this movie is called C2. And I was like, was A4 taken? Or are you trying to do that like Atlantic Rim thing, you know? The transmorphers.

I believe this is also a neon movie. So shout out to our good friend Sarah, who is on the podcast, who works at neon. Yeah, as the distributor. Yeah, neon distributed the film. So we are, we, we. How do we open on this film? How do we get into the story of this movie? It's evidently wildly different than the book.

He, like, completely rewrote the story. Okay, all right. And apparently the script that James Wan had given him was like, uh, uh, uh, just. A newsy dancing across a room. Oh, what if it's saying? What do you see? What do you see?

Uh, an old lady ghost that we will be on screen for 20 to 30 minutes. You will not be scared of her in any way, shape, or form. Not even, not even remotely. no apparently the script was like extremely serious and like very heavy and uh uh uh uh i was reading on wikipedia that osgood perkins was like you know what both my parents died in really weird public ways and it fucked me up so i'm gonna make a funny movie about this oh wow wait how did anthony perkins die anthony perkins died very publicly of having aids oh and it was like a big news story that that happened oh yikes yeah not not i mean again he was like like in the Wikipedia thing, he's like, yeah, it caused me lifelong trauma. Yeah, I'm sure. The way he's dealing with it is with a smile. Yeah, well, what other choice do you have these days?

Exactly. Oh my God, you know how his mom died? No. In a plane crash as part of the September 11 attacks. Are you fucking kidding me? She was a passenger on American Airlines Flight 11, which crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Jesus Christ. Can we not today?

Just today, can we not be sad? Dear Osgood Perkins, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. If we have besmirched you at all in any of... We're starting the tour early. Oh, yeah. We're getting him a dead mom's club jacket. We're going to be really funny about it.

Dude, Oz will look sick on that pink satin jacket. Pink satin dead mom's club. You know, like the pink lady is from Greece. Why are we doing this to ourselves? Okay, this movie opens on a pawn shop. Who pawns a glass hand and how much do you get for it? Also, can I get that pawn head, that glass hand? I would go into pawn shops if I could buy things like glass hands.

Like a glass head filled with Christmas lights. That's plastic. Oh, that's glass, baby. Oh, Alan, it's shaking. Oh, yeah, it's filled with Christmas lights. Right, but the way you were tapping in, it was moving so rapidly, I felt like, wow, it's really going to fall over any second. Okay. No, it's facing me. Can you face it away from me? Alan filled a glass head with Christmas lights. And it looks cool, but it's a bit treacherous. And a little menacing. It's amiens. Yeah. Treacherous and menacing ambient. We took away all our other lamps. So, anyway, we meet Adam Scott. And I was like, he's a cop. A sailor? A bellhop. And then later when she was like with his stewardesses, I was like, a pilot. He looks more like a guy who's taking his boat out to Catalina Island

than he looks like a pilot. I mean, I was staring at the hat. I had no idea. Sure. No idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no discernible wings on it. How am I supposed to know he's a pilot?

How am I supposed to know? I don't know anything, you guys. He's covered in blood. Yes. The guy behind the counter goes, you're pretty covered in blood. And he's like, yes. Can you buy this monkey? can you have this monkey take it from me

and the guy turns around and points to a sign that says no refunds on toys yeah did he buy it from that pawn shop don't know okay the implication would be that he did yes yeah okay don't ever call it a toy it was his response yeah it's not a toy you do not want that goddamn drumstick to come down

okay which I thought is I think most lines that Adam Scott delivers are funny except for that Hellraiser movie that he's in wasn't he French in that yeah he was a French wrist a crowd or something. Oh my god, can we do a shitty hellraiser next week instead? Of course. Thank you.

Thank you. I'll just have to double check that we haven't run out of one yet. So yes, he starts talking about don't ever call it a toy and the drumstick and the guy's like the hand with the drumstick is stuck in the opposition. He's like, you do not want that drumstick to come down. God damn drumstick. Then the goddamn drumstick comes down. Yeah, yeah. And it starts playing a song and it's like this toy monkey has great speakers in it.

It's great speakers and also the close captioning said Italian song Which I was like What is what the fuck does that mean Italian song? It's the Christmas donkey song Oh not the Christmas donkeys again And then Adam Scott tells him that he's fucked to hell And he says I don't feel especially fucked to hell And then something really great happens

A mouse is chewing on a rope A mouse chews through a rope That piece of rope snaps and fire, for some reason, makes a spear gun fire. It's by a suit of armor that's holding it. Oh, right. Okay. And that, that Rube Goldberg makes the spear gun fire, which goes into the dude's tum-tum, nails them to the wall, and then pulls itself back out by the same said rope. Yeah. And what comes back with the spear gun? Oh, I don't know. Oh, it was his hot dogs. It was his hot dogs. They pulled all of his test themselves. I thought maybe, because

You see the spearhead tip hit the, like, the first dollar he ever made, and I thought maybe it pulled that back through him, and I just missed it. Oh, no, no, all those hot dogs are on the outside. Yeah. So Adam Scott picks up a flamethrower. Yeah. Which I must, okay, so we get comments on Spotify. Okay.

I don't know if you know this. I only look at them every, like, four to five weeks. Okay. But there was a comment last week from front of the podcast, Perry. I don't know why he didn't just text us. Perry, go to the most remote way you can get them. I'm never going to fucking see this. But he was like, oh, I'll totally help you and build a flamethrower.

Also, speaking of Perry, there was another comment from the thinner episode from someone I don't know that just said all the accents in this one. What if they talk about? I don't have an accent. But so Adam Scott flame throws. He flamethrows the monkey. Yeah. Yeah. And then monkey starts melting, and then we go to the twins in 1999.

These are twins, Hal and Bill. Yeah. This is where we learned that their dad was a pilot who left them. A pilot. Big bro is real rude. Bigger by three minutes. Bigger by three minutes, but he ate most of the placenta. Babies don't eat the placenta.

He ate most of it. That's not how it works. Not at all. Like, just like a little bit of pasta stuck on his mouth. Crunchy moms eat placentas. Sure. I didn't eat the placenta. I told them to throw it in the river.

They said, we have a specific biohazard protocol to follow. Did you then make an urban discipline joke? That's a joke for all the biohazard fans out there. Fuck, dude. Sorry, you have to edit this. No more biohazard jokes. so their mom is tatiana maslani she's wonderful in this she is a fucking fantastic actor i am not sure that i've ever seen her in anything before i would highly recommend watching some of

orphan black i don't like to commit to just some of something okay uh because it becomes unwatchable at some point like just like it's one of those shows it's like really heavy on uh stuff going on beyond which you can see and like at some point like the writers just like no no no no no it got away from us it got away from us yeah it's just spiraling out of control but she plays like five 10 15 different characters that she interacts with yeah and they are all amazingly distinct and interesting and she does a fantastic job with them i would yeah i'd like to see more of her work but that does sound out of my purview and she's also in that uh shehawk i was gonna say i might just watch uh she hulk colon attorney at law you're aware of she hulk attorney at law you're aware of

She Hulk attorney at law? Oh, yeah. I was not aware of, that's a Marvel thing, yeah. Yeah, I was trying to give you a thing you might actually enjoy. She's in something called Diary of the Dead. Maybe I'll try that. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a Romero film. Yeah, yeah. A 2007 George Romero. Yeah. Yeah. R.I. P to the goat, but later on. Probably not that one. All right, listen. I'm a simple woman, but I I love habachi.

I really do. I'm always so happy to be there. I'm always like clapping and getting excited. I've only ever been to a hobachi restaurant once. Yeah. And it was for your husband's bachelor party. So it wasn't even Feng when Fang was open in my neighborhood. Feng was great because they would spray sake into your mouth.

But occasionally they would just fill that bottle with vodka. If you wouldn't know that it was going to be vodka instead of sake. Jesus Christ. He'd be like, oh, why does it taste like fire? Spitting it onto the habanche. I do love it, though. So the kids find the monkey. They turn the key because Bill is a dick, and he's always got to be a dick.

Yeah, he's a dick forever. And he says, because their mom shows them all the stuff they're going to get from their dad. And Bill's like, well, I'm going to get all of it because I'm next to skin. Yeah. Which was funny. Did you like that? I did. all the placenta.

It's not how it works. It's just not how it works. And then Bill finds some nudie cards and goes to jerk off. Don't come into our room for half an hour. And then they go to the Abachi restaurant with their babysitter. Babysitter Annie. Who's trying to fuck the Habachiman? I think the Habachiman's trying to fuck her.

And she's like, yeah, okay. Why not? That's okay. Oh, yeah. No, it's great. But in my head, the story I had was that she took them there because she was trying to fuck the Hibachi guy. Oh, I love that. Okay, I'm happy. I mean, I'm happy until I'm not. Either way. I mean, they don't forget to fuck in this timeline. No, no, no, no. Because he does a very grand

hand movement. And then one of my favorite things of all time happens. The silent slit. Silent slit. Yeah. He cuts her neck. Yeah, yeah, not just her neck. Her whole head. Her whole fucking thing comes off. It falls off onto the Hibachi. I love it. I love their blood boiling on the Hibachi. it's so gross it's such a nice touch though yeah yeah yeah oh it's good he's he's there for the fine finesse the fine touches that is finesse yeah and before this happens hal hears the monkey music playing because for some reason he's brought this monkey along with him the italian song the italian song i didn't get these sometimes that i had to not say italian song it only said it that one time

and from then on i was like italian huh when the moon It's right. What other songs do you people have? Hey, Mambo, Mambo Italiano. True, true. That song rules. Yeah, oh yeah, it does.

By an Irish lady, I think. That makes sense. Petracks. Oh, we get Annie's funeral. I don't understand what's happening with this priest. Why is he having such a hard time? I can only assume that at some funeral, Osgood Perkins went to, there was a half-ass priest who was stoned out of his mind.

He wasn't meant to be the priest that day, and he was like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. And he's just like, yeah, it is what it is. Which is a weird thing to say at a funeral. For a young woman who died in an insane accident. What are you going to do, huh? so they have the sweetest scene in the movie which is mom is just dropping drops a bunch of knowledge about how they're all going to die and some people are going to die easy in their sleep and some people are going to die in wild deaths the clothesline duct tape screaming bit was a little much to say to your small children or even medium sized children but still well you got an extra large kid extra large kid you see they were yeah yeah yeah yeah but then they go home and they have a family dance party and the there's a bunch of voiceovers throughout this and the voiceover says and despite it being having the day of the funeral that was the happiest day

of my life yeah that's a that's a heartbreaker yeah yeah yeah yeah so he we see that hal is getting going to school and getting bullied by a bunch of mean girls okay I'm sorry but I just don't remember roving gangs of girls bullying boys maybe that's gen Z but it is I don't think that I have no memory of that happening. Yeah. I'm roving gangs of girls bullying girls. Sure. I don't know.

Maybe he was just flipping the script. Yeah, it seemed very weird. It was weird. Yeah. It was like, God, aren't these girls fucking awful? Because they make him take his pants off. Yeah, like a girl's practically sexually assaulting a boy. What are you doing here?

That's good. No. He runs home in what? Bananas? Well, that's later when they meet him with the bananas. Yeah. But now he runs home and he will look like gym shorts. Right.

And he says, Mom, have you been in my room? And she says, I haven't been in your room since I found the stiff sock. Oh, he's like, oh, yeah.

And he goes in and he's like touching the monkey and his brother comes in and tells him that he can have the monkey if he says he wants to marry the monkey. I do not miss having a brother. I'll tell you what. I'm real glad I got rid of that one. I only had a sister, and I must have been awful for her. I 100% was.

I apologize all the time. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's nice of you. I'm never going to get a goddamn apology. Yeah, but you got like me, and I'm like a half-ass brother to you. But you're also my fellow monarch. Did you see someone made a just-married picture of us from that prom party?

Oh, boy. That photo is going to haunt us for the rest of our lives. I like to point out that your hands are hovering above my head. hips. I can't wait until we have a joint funeral and that's just the picture between the two of us. And that priest is just like, wow. Fuck it is. These, no, they weren't.

All right. Because the way his hands are hovering, it just looks so intimate. So intimate. They're watching a sex ed video in school. Yeah. And one of the girls is like, Mrs. Torrance, because of course. Yeah. Mrs. Torrance, how's jerking it?

I don't know what she says. So he runs out of class. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, his brother also made him say that he had to say that he wants to suck the monkey's banana. Right. And then the girls come at him with bananas. Boxes and boxes of bananas.

Where the fuck do they get those bananas? Is one of their father's a banana salesman? I am Bob Chiquita. But not only are the girls. carrying the bananas. But Bill, his brother, is also carrying the bananas. I didn't notice that because I kept just focusing on where did these girls get all these bananas? How could you not notice him? He is literally wearing a Guy Fietti t-shirt or buttoned down. Yeah. So he must have told her about the bananas. Right. They got the bananas. Right. And then we see him running in the house

covered in bananas. And he says, I wish Bill was dead and he winds the monkey. Yeah. Yeah. But the monkey, as we know from a monkey's Paul story. Yeah. It's not going to give you what you wanted, exactly. It's going to give you something else. Yes. What is the thing that the monkey gives to Hal? He kills

a mom. Yeah. He kills a mom. She just sort of pops. She's like squeezing a piping bag full of icing and that pops and then she falls to the ground. It's really distressing. She had a boomerang aneurism? Is that a real thing? I don't know. I hope

not. He says one in 44 million people it can happen to. Oh, I'm looking it up. And the voiceover's like, I think they just had to give a number for it happening. Yeah. To make it a probability. But Bill watches their mom die. And this fucks Bill up. It's real. A boomerang aneurysm? Yeah. Don't want it. No way to prevent it. All right. Well, I'm going to not talk to any monkeys in the hopes. The problem is me talking to the monkeys. Anyway, go on You better not talk to that monkey Yeah, we learn that it kills

Who it wants and it feels like it You know, it doesn't, it doesn't matter And on the box that it was kept in like a big hat box Yeah It said like life Right instead of life like Yeah And the scene of Bill at the mom's funeral is utterly heartbreaking

Oh yeah Yeah You think a little kid at his mom's funeral saying and mom wake up is a heartbreak? A little bit, a little bit. I was like, oh, this is tonally really hard to watch in this movie because it's just like 180 degrees. Yeah, I think you have to really be able to laugh at the death of your parents in order to be

able to enjoy this. And, you know, we all, we, it's harder for us. Sure. I mean, yes, we created a club around our dead mothers, but it's our dads. We really wanted dead. and they're still fucking alive. If I wound the wrong monkey. So Uncle Chip

and Aunt Ida. Aunt Ida, who was played by Sarah Levy. And Osgood Perkins is Uncle Chip. He gives the best depiction of a child-free life I've ever heard in my life. And he says, she's one of the life where you sit down

and you don't stand up again until you'll want to. fuck that cut me so deep as an addendum and just goes and we're swingers and we're swingers so so you fuck that up too he says we're going to do our very best with you boys it's just that our very best might be kind of bad I loved that so much very good just a just hey I did my best it's pretty shit sometimes your best is not good Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I love that for him. Like, I think that's very funny and very, like, aware in a really cool way.

Yeah. Yeah. So Uncle Chip also has some sweet sideburns. Yeah, he, they both look insane. They both look at them from the 70s. Yeah. It's supposed to be 1999. Yeah, there's no way.

There's just no way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he, Hal then chops up the monkey. He chops it up and it bleeds. It bleeds, which is cool. Yeah. yeah yeah yeah yeah and then what's less cool is the aunt and uncle moving them to Maine because Stephen King I just want him to know that there are other places to live

what are you talking about imagine being so Maine centric like I know I'm really Pittsburgh centric but I've been a lot of other places who's going to point it out to you I don't just set everything in the world in Pittsburgh not everything can be innocent blood listen when I'm world building but it all can be uh uh striking distance sure take bigelow i take bigelow twice a day every day every time i turn onto and i think about that scene when they just kept driving at it from different angles supposedly going the different place at the same place yep just keep coming down here and avenue so they moved to main bill's got funeral PTSD he can't take his suit off i said harran avenue and that

wasn't right it's kirkpatrick street and i just felt like if there is anyone from our city listening i needed to say it her hands are hovering like she better correct she better correct to be on that Apology World Tour. I don't know if you know this, but in the Terminator episode, we kept saying it was either 94 or 97. The movie is definitely from 1991. And every time he said it, I just plugged myself and going, yeah, I know. It's 1991.

Oh, really? I was like, yeah, we know. It's 91. I don't, I didn't know. But like, I was just like, I'm going to cut you off at the email right now. Yeah. Please don't. Please keep your messages to yourself.

But that's also for the Patriot and I know that they understand. Sure. Bill's got the PTSD. He can't take his funeral suit off because he's just going to have to put it on when another person dies. Yeah, but he feels that if he doesn't take the suit off, then there can be no more funerals.

Oof. Yeah. He's a sympathetic character until he isn't. Sure. But what's outside the house staring back in at Bill? A monkey, he's out the window. He accuses Hal of bringing it. Right.

Yeah. And then Uncle Chip dies in a hunting accident killed, trampled by wildebeests or something? They say it looks like someone drop kicked a cherry pie and then they open the body bag

and it's full of cherry pie filling and crumbled up pie crust. It's horrible. It's just horrible. No, horrible in the best way. It's literally just cherry pie, I think. It's funny. So they're going to drop the monkey down the well.

They can't let the Iran keys get a hold of it. Bill's also a moron. He's so stupid. And you can tell because he's the one that doesn't wear glasses. It's true. It's true, because only smart people wear glasses. Doi. Yeah, I see them.

I'm wearing no glasses and a street heat hat. Because you're smarter than I am. Yeah, well about that. So now it's 25 years later. Yes. And Hal works at a, like, Quiky Mart. Yes. 7-Eleven, if you will.

Yes. He has what can only be called the best boss ever. Yes, and he's being played by the Lost Franco brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a wild, how much he... Is he their cousin or something? I don't know. What's his name?

Theo James. Oh, no. Theo James Franco. Theo James Franco. No, he's British. He's not even close. Not even fucking close. Apparently he was in the White Lotus.

Do you watch that? No. I have not watched it Okay Missy watched it And I would walk in and be like That's not for me Are they because they're always having sex

Or Yeah They're always having sex or uncomfortable conversations And I was like No I don't need that Fuck it I mean that's pretty much my actual life Sex and awkward conversations

Just always fucking And having uncomfortable conversations Yeah your life is weird It's a living Oh we see Aunt Ida as an older lady Yeah And I just

She is adorable And she's playing an older lady Pretty convincingly Yeah She like falls through her steps Into a bunch of fishing lowers And then just pulls them all out of her face What else are you gonna do?

And then like Gets her head Really close to her Fucking She smells gas She smells gas But she's got the fucking clicker on Yeah

She puts your face up next to the burner Yeah And then it clicks on And her head gets set of flame Yeah, which is great because she's just running around with a flaming head, and it's very funny. It's very funny as funny as an old lady of the flaming head can be. She runs outside, trips over like a flower thing, and runs head first into her first ale sign so that it penetrates through the back of her skull. And there's a great squish sound.

What did you think of that? I loved it. I loved it, too. I really did. I mean, I'm not a good person. Oh, no. So we learned that how, Lee, a really solitary life.

Oh, yeah, he says to his boss says, and, wait, you got a kid? Shit, man, that sucks. That sucks about everything. Yeah, I got to go to my wife, or my ex-wives and pick him up and you're like, oh, that sucks. Shit, man, that sucks. The kid rules. Yeah. He has a great death later, too.

Yeah, and a great crustache. 100%. Yeah. So where does the kid live? Where does this kid live? He lives in a huge me-on-chin. Who's assumed to be adopted death? Oh my God, it's Elijah Wood, wearing head-toe-toe spandex, holding people's hands and stealing their power.

I wanted his story so badly. The house is covered in his books that he's written about parenting. He's a fatherhood expert. Yeah, though this will be his first child that he's adopted. Yes. He's drinking out of like a comedically oversized water bottle. Yeah, yeah. And he's such a little man that I'm holding that water bottle is extra funny.

There's nothing about him that says this character, and I think it's very funny that he was cast to be this character. I really genuinely love Elijah Wood from the bottom of my heart. He seems like a decent human being. Like that guy. Got that West Ham tattoo on his chest. Oh boy. Because from the Green Street Hooligans movie. He really got the tattoo.

He got the tattoo. Oh, buddy. So he's going to pick his kid up because they're going to go to horror heaven. He gets him one week a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that is because he is cursed and does not want to bring his child this evil. right um like not thinking about all of the other evil that he is doing to this job by not being in his life yeah this poor kid yeah however he looks like a young ron perlman he does look like

a young ron perlman and i feel like they cast him and then between casting and he signed like an ironclad contract and then between the casting and the movie beginning filming he his voice dropped because he talks like a grown ass man but he's like a young young looking boy. And his name is Petey and I think you're supposed to feel protective of him. So it's like a very weird

dynamic. I can only assume that that was an Osgood choice. You think so? Like a smallish, childish looking child who's like, hey guys.

Yeah, it's funny. All right. Yeah, give me that kid looks like a young Ron Perlman. Yeah. Sounds like him too. Take that one. Yeah, maybe he's Ron Perlman's kid.

I'm going to assume that's true. It's got to be true. So he's told that at the end of the week that he has with his son, he's going to be adopted by the new, by Elijah Wood. Yeah, which I think would require how to give up his parental rights, but I don't know. No, yeah. I don't think you can just adopt a child. Well, what if you yelled, I stole your power a few times? I stole your power.

Okay, that's funny. It's funny because he goes, you can't just take my power. He's like, I did. I took it. that's so good so while this is happening we're cut with a scene of an estate sale

having an Aunt Ida's house with like a movie medal kid yeah coming to look and he comes and he finds the monkey yeah who does that monkey remind him of a cop

his dad his dad yeah this is the only time we see the monkey give someone a vision sure I don't know about that

I think we're supposed to just I don't know is the monkey saying I look like your dad take me home I guess so, yeah It's very weird Yeah

But it's like His dad without pants on Drinking a beer Yeah But in the upper half cop uniform The bottom half no pants And you don't know

That it's his dad So it doesn't mean anything to you No No It's just like oh Pervert cop Pervert cop Pervert cop

Then it's like Was that Adam Scott's colleague No no he was not a cop Nor a sailor Oh my god I mean if you think about it Pilots Are kind of like cops

With the sky Sky Cops I don't think that That's true. No, it's not. That's more like flight attendants. Sure. They're always making you do stuff.

What a cops do again? You forgot what a cop was. I did. I forgot what both people did, frankly. Making you pancakes? What a cop's do again? That's short order cooks. The movie gets a bit disjointed here because

the metal kid He's like He's like I'm gonna sell it to the nut Who never leaves his house You don't realize That it's Bill Right

Right because we have not seen Bill We know that he Am and his brother Are estranged at this time It just feels very disjointed Yeah this is where the movie How You Say in the film Vernacular started to drag a bit for me

Yeah Act 2 is a slug May have had some second screen experiences going on Yeah Adoy and his name is trasher but I only knew his name was trasher

because he was talking off screen and says Trasher and then he's what he said Okay So he has a shitty home life Yeah His brother It just sits in a room With the lights off with his fatigues on

While his mom smokes cigarettes What year is this? This would be 2024 No no year what year was this Oh right because it's 25 years later Okay so that makes sense actually I was thinking we were still in the 90s and it's like was he in the first Gulf War

People didn't really get real bummed on that I think there was one soldier fatality Yeah I think so yeah yeah And then we're back to Petey and Hal at the hotel Where Petey's doing the family tree And Hal's lying to him about his family Says he doesn't have a brother or a sister He does have a brother

We've met him already They're very awkward together And we get a Hal having a dream where the monkey lifts them up, and I was like, please, please, please start to do a fucking King Kong movie, let's go. You've been kind of boring recently, let's go. That would have actually caught my attention again, yeah.

But in the dream, it gets dropped into a psychedelic well, and then the monkey is wearing a suit and going to chop hal up. I liked the kaleidoscope well quite a bit. Yeah, yeah, and I like a monkey in a suit. Yeah. I like monkeys doing people stuff. Yeah. Monkey smoking cigarettes always going to make me a lot.

Don't you have a tattoo of a monkey wearing a diaper holding a knife? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, taking a peach off a tree. Take it a peach off a tree. It's my don't fuck with my friend's tattoo. That's from Phenomena? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She killed that dude, because the dude killed her friend. We heard of friend Donald Pleasance, right? Oh, boy. Sometimes you're friend with an old drunk. Yeah, oh, yeah. So then he gets a call. Gets woken up from his dream with a call. It's Bill.

who picks up a call from an unknown number in the early early hours of the morning decline decline decline that's a mistake it's Bill tells them that Ida has died and now Bill goes outside to have a talk which is very respectful because his son is sleeping and there's a hot lady going to take a midnight swim very sassy lady yeah but then we see that there's water leaking and the air conditioner unit's going to fall and it feels very uh final destination at this point. It sure does, which I'm here for.

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Air conditioning unit falls, which causes the electric sign to hit the running water, which she goes to dive into the pool and just explodes. As electricity does. She explodes so drastically that her leg hits him. And then the pool is just filled with like bloody bits, which I think is really chef's kiss. I was like, oh, was this movie in 3D? Because that leg coming at you would be great.

Yeah, I would like that. It's ridiculous. He goes inside and screams into a pillow, to which I've written. I scream into pillows a lot. Oh, buddy. I scream into my knees a lot, too. You ever scream into your knees? No.

Sometimes that feels really good. I got this big speed bump. He's screaming into the speed bump. I'd have to get a rib removed. I'm like Marilyn Manson. So he wakes speedy up and he's like, look, we got to go. We've got to go right now. and what is he yelling at him?

We got to make like eggs and scramble, which is what his mom had said that the dad did. Yeah. He says, can I ask a question? And he goes, I'd really rather you didn't. And I feel like I need to start saying that to my kid,

but she never asks if she can ask a question. I was going to say she's just going to blow right through that. She's just fucking steam rolling over it. So this phone call with Bill is how he learns that he and Ida has died. So he's got to go up to Maine to deal with it. Exactly. Because Bill won't deal with it. He needs him to deal with it.

Yeah, and why is that? Because Bill needs him to go up there so that he can use the monkey to kill him. I know that, but why does Hal agree to it? Because Hal is the most wishy-washy human being that's ever existed. Who says things like, you can't just take my power.

He's way too hunky for that. Sure. They should have cast someone less hunky. Yeah, I just don't believe in hunky men being passive. Is that wrong? No, no. It's like whatever they're punk rockers.

I'm like, punk, you'd be a punk rock. Yeah, only uggos. Go about your business. Petey knows about the adoption thing. Yeah, he wants to go with Hal to his aunts. He's like, I know about the adoption. This is the last time we're going to get to hang out.

And then he says, I wonder what Lois would have chosen, meaning Hal's mom, which is like, God, kids know how to stick you where it fucking hurts. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hate it. This kid came out of his dick. He knows everything about him. Yeah.

Right out of his dick. Right out of his dick. Because that's where the placenta is. Well, once you've eaten it. Sure. So we get what we think is a flashback to mom and how. But then we quickly learn it's not a flashback because mom's head explodes when blood is boring out of her face. Yeah.

So did any of this happen? I don't think so. But Bill, he did get the call from Bill. For sure. Yes. He napped after the call from Bill. Did the lady explode in the pool? Yes.

Okay. Because Bill was trying to kill him, I think. So that was like close to him. I see. I see, I see. Because evidently the monkey has like a like radius problem. Just needs to be recalibrated. Probably from falling down that fucking well.

Have you tried turning your monkey off and back on again? Yep. Oh, man. They get to antitis in Maine. Right. Right. And PD is like asking to go inside And his dad is saying no

And he says I'm one of those kids Who can only go poo in a house Which is also a weird thing to hear saying From like a grown man's voice Go poo Dude I have known grown men That could only poo in their own homes That's a hard way to live

That makes me sad I'm happy I can shit anywhere Yeah especially when you're trying to be in a touring band Yeah So he's like fine We can go into the house Oh they meet Barbara who is the realtor.

I love how realtors and movies are 100% of the time, total dipshits. And insane. Yeah. Why do movies hate realtors so much? I don't know. Riltors and lawyers. Oh, man. Go listen to the theater episode.

Yeah. And go listen for Vicky and Perry. Don't go for the lawyers. No, no. Who cares about lawyers? She drops that. She's like, oh, I met your brother, your brother Bill.

Your brother Bill was very nice. I really enjoyed meeting your brother Bill. He's very handsome. Your brother Bill. And then she looks at P.D. and says, who's this little slugger? Which I think I'm going to start saying to children. I realized the other day that I need to start working on being able to actually interact with kids. Because I was like picking up my CSA and this mother and child rolled up.

And there was another woman on the stuff getting her CSA as well. And she turns and she's like, hey, buddy, what's going on? And the kid looks at her and goes, how much long are you going to be? There's like seven. holy shit and she's like I just have to get these things and I got these giant radishes what do you think of these and he's like oh those are amazing and they had a conversation on radishes I was like I need to work on talking to kids man they're fucking ridiculous they are fucking ridiculous how much longer are you going to be how much longer are you going to be that kid just said what

I'm thinking yeah and then it sounds like a while was the answer yeah just picking up them giant ass radishes so if you're listening kid you got you got some moxie I hope not I feel like we're just going to keep finding out that younger and younger children are listening to this fucking podcast. People are putting this on like headphones and strapping them to their pregnant stomachs. Who's that little slugger? Your first words are going to be hot dogs on the outside kid. Oh, a titty baby. There was a line that I really liked in this scene, speaking of parenthood.

Yeah. Where PD says to Barbara about how he's being swapped out for a leading expert. That really tickled me. I thought about, like, getting fired from being a parent and having, like, the leading expert hired instead. It's fucking ridiculous. I feel like it'd be good for my kid. But he doesn't have any actual hands-on experience.

It's all book-learning. Yeah, that's true. Everybody's a great parent until you have a kid. Exactly. Holy shit. I can't even imagine. They go into the house. She tells them about basically a series.

of unfortunate events that have the fallen people in the town. Mitch McDonald under his lawnmower. Yeah. Bert Bergersen getting steamed to death and Nancy Rosoli taking a cobra to the neck from a golf hole. Poof. I didn't think you had cobras in Maine. I guess there's one.

Looks like God's bowling strikes tonight. That's wild. Whenever there was a mass killing event, my mother would say it looks like God's bowling strikes tonight. And I was like that is the bleakest shit ever. That's the god you believe in,

the one who, like, strikes people down. Jesus Christmas. And then what happens as a Barbara? She gets shot with a shotgun that was set up in a cupboard. Yeah, yeah, it falls out and shoots her. And Hal has to pull her finger out of his mouth. Yeah, I like that. And he takes off his glasses and he has like almost like a sunburn around them from the,

blood spray when he's talking to the cop and she's like she didn't do anything you were just standing there yeah she's like yeah she's like okay she's like you don't want to go in there

it's like that restaurant spaghetti city I kind of want to go to spaghetti city I'm gonna start calling my house spaghetti city well I'm to spaghetti city you know we could have gone to spaghetti warehouse it's gone gone now

it's true we could have we could have we've been to we've been to Bucca Pepo We have been in Bukk, also gone. Also gone. Yeah. I remember when we were leaving Bucco de Bepo, you said to my child, how did you get spaghetti sauce on your back?

See, you know how to talk to kids. I think she said, fuck you and put me to the ground. Yeah, she needs you in the balls, if I recall. Suck it, Santa Claus. Yeah. That's what she says. She says it all the time. I wish she would use it in context.

Outside of Anaita's home, there are paramedics, police, first responders, and cheerleaders. Why are they there? I assume it's inferring that she was a cheerleader at some point, and they're coming to celebrate her. Oh, Barbara. Barbara was a cheerleader. That's baffling. It's very weird, but also, don't worry, the cheerleaders come back later, and it fucking rules.

It's very strange. So how it goes back into the house? He pulls out her 20-24 phone book. Really? Yeah. And he looks up... You don't get those anymore. I know.

I remember being angry about getting them 15 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. He has realized that Bill must live in the area. Sure. Because Bill tells him to go to... He calls him at the house. He calls him at the house and tells him to go to the hotel and await his signal.

Yeah. He goes to look him up in the phone book. He's not there. No. But who is there? He looks up Monkey. Miss Monkey. Mrs. Monkey.

Mrs. Monkey. What? Also, when Bill says, go wait for my signal and hangs up and he just goes, go wait for my signal. Bill is bananas. He's bananas. Apparently, so how calls the number that's listed for Mrs. Monkey? Yeah. And I guess it was connected to an ad that Bill had placed looking for the monkey.

Yeah, it's a voicemail machine that picks up the phone and says, if you're calling about the monkey, I found it. you don't need to tell me about any monkeys anymore. So now he knows that Bill has the monkey. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So then we switch to Bill being the POV voiceover and talking about how he realized that

Hal had turned the key on the monkey and that's what killed their mother. Yes. So now he wants to kill Hal. He climbed down into the well to get it as a child. Yeah, but it was already gone. Where did the monkey go? Where did it go? Yeah.

And when we see him as an adult, he's wearing, like, the funeral suit and the flame shirt, but, like, hot up, yeah. Because the flip, they weren't big, neither were big enough for him, so he made a new suit up. I think this is very upsetting. He also gets a fortune cookie that says, hi, turns it over, and it says, turn the key and see what happens. Yeah. Oh, man, very funny. And when he looks up, he's, it's 2016, and it's the year of the monkey in the Chinese restaurant. Yeah.

Yeah. Then he's at the strip club wearing a bucket hat, and the stripper has a monkey head. That she puts down between her legs. Yeah, I like it a lot. I like that a whole lot. They got strippers that are cosplaying as monkeys? Is that a thing that happened? I would do it if I could wear a monkey head.

What? I love it. I just look at me like I'm insane. Recognition is the thing that's keeping me for doing. You know, this is Pittsburgh. Everybody knows everybody. Sure, sure, sure. You do have a bunch of really identifiable tattoos.

Yeah. I'm sure that's another welcome to garlic city. It says, welcome to garlic world. Oh, garlic world, forgive me. Benvenuiting amando del Olio. I'm sure someone else in the city has Nellie L'Iliarx tattooed on their ass. Yeah, well, your friend does. Yeah.

whatever dude so we see how's boss going to an ATM and not an ATM a vending machine to get a new vape cartridge that's what it was sorry sorry but it's like the vaid cartridge doesn't fall

and he's like shit that sucks shit man that sucks and then turns around and steps on a rake which shoves his vape unit down his throat like a fucking daffy duck cartoon it's funny And it's sticking out the side of his neck And he says, damn man, shit that sucks

Shit man that sucks Oh, it's very funny We've also heard Bill talking to the monkey at this point Where he says like, I trust your flaming sword of righteousness To cut the foul air and smite the right person So Bill has not stopped being a 12 year old boy Right He has just stayed in that mindset the entire time

Trasher comes to get the monkey back Because it reminds me of his dad, he wants the monkey back. Yeah. And Bill's like, go fuck yourself. Yeah. So he goes home and he gets a gun and his dad's copy uniform. Yeah.

He says to his nearly catatonic brother, do you have any extra bullets? And he says, what caliber? In the most like, yeah. Oh, man, it's sad. That brother is just like the saddest thing in the entire fucking movie. Isn't the, uh, the monkey's part? Paul story, isn't that about a mother

wanting your son to come back from war and he does? But he comes back. He's dead. Spoiler alert for the monkey's ball story. Oh, sorry if you guys haven't worked on that yet. So Bill's got this ultimatum.

Either PD turns the key or... Yeah, he has realized that whoever turns the key doesn't die. Right. So, He just keeps turning and turning it, and it just keeps being someone in Hal's orbit. Yeah.

So he needs PD to turn it to ensure that Hal dies. Exactly. Okay, got it. Yeah. And that PD can live forever if he just keeps turning the key. No one wants their child to live forever. It's a nightmarish. That's nightmare.

No, I mean, immortality is a nightmarish concept. Sure. Well, 100%. So Trasier puts on the copy uniform. And he still has very long black hair, very long, elegant black hair. You think it's elegant? elegant. You think it's elegant. It's a fine wig. And he goes

to a house a hotel room, motel. Holiday Inn. And Knox, Hal looks at him in a cop uniform and goes, yeah, I'll open the door. There's nothing about the kid who would make you open the door and talk to him. No. Open up, it's the motherfucking police. It doesn't do it for me. It's not going to work for me.

That's a no for me, dog. Yeah. oh man they get they they take him to the the hotel that bill has turned into his domicile he's like a he's like a fortress yeah um and at some point he uh hal tells pety how he actually feels about him that he loves him and he's the reason why he's a bad dad yeah and this is where i have a note that says uh pety looks a little like ron perlman not wrong so they send PD in to get the monkey or uh trasher sends him in to get the monkey because there's a doggy door that he can get through right and he's got the gun on how the

whole time yeah yeah yeah and there's booby traps yes what who who for whom uh for anybody coming to steal the monkey from him got it also seemingly setting it up so that you could die at any moment in your own home yeah you just trip you trip you take the wrong step on the stairs Yes, I mean, or you trip on the shoes That your dog leaves all over the house Yeah, yeah, your dog does do that I know, I know, I know And your shoes are very large

Size 13, baby Baby, baby! Also, why booby trap? Is it because, like, booby means idiot? Hmm. What is the etymology of booby trap? Yeah, if you know, right in, I'm not Googling it.

Nah, fuck it, I'm done Googling shit. But the kid immediately like gets hip to the booby traps and avoids them and says, oh, there's one that's like, katana's hanging from the ceiling. And he looks up and goes, that's pretty cool, I guess. Yeah, he's like lightly impressed. Yeah. As a little kid would be.

And I'm thinking to myself, P.D., don't turn the key, but also do it. Life is meaningless and brutal, you know? Yes, I do. So we also see that this Rube Goldberg device has started. I love a Rube Goldberg device. It's a bucket and a bowling ball. It's like a large scale mouse trap. But it's like gotten so far and stopped.

Yeah. And also Hal and Trasher have noticed that there is a hornet's nest that's outside of their car. Yes. That's huge. Will it come back, you think? Maybe. Maybe. He's doing this monologue about his dad leaving and he's like, my mom said he's out chasing

pussy. And I was all like, there's pussy here in town. And so he left. And that's why I hate cops, but also they're cops, which is the best reason to hate cops. Yep. That's good. Nailed it. Nailed it in one. So he, he shoots a hole in the windshield, fucking around with his gun. He sucks. He does sucks. But I love what happens next because the branch, Pedy turns the key. And the branch that holds has the hornet's nest starts drooping down and down and down until the hole from the hornet's nest is lined up with the hole from the windshield and one hornet shoots into the car yes they're good they're good they're creepy crawly buggies and as the hornets then start filing into the car in a massive funnel of hornets yes he's trying to shoot them yeah they're all flying

directly into his mouth directly into his mouth yeah he starts firing wildly yeah Now they start coming out in his face skin. Yeah. I think I would get out of the car before his lower jaw falls out. But that's just me. You got to wait to see what happens. I guess so. I don't know. What if they animate him when he gets up and starts dancing?

It rules. Yeah. Then we get some light uncle abuse on PD. He smacks Petey around. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he starts fighting the monkey. Yeah. He says, how are you so goddamn strong?

And then it throws him. Yeah. I'm not mad at that. And then raises the stick. Yeah. Yeah. Just raises it. And Hal has come and found PD.

And they're back together. And then we hear the music play and a plane crash. Yeah. It starts drumming. Yeah. And then it starts drumming faster and faster. And there's like bits of something on the floor that are bouncing as it drums, which I liked a lot. Yeah.

And then there's an explosion. Yeah. Yes. And then the skydiving wedding comes. through the half of the house. Yes. I mean, I did not expect Chekhov's skydiving wedding, but I'm really, really, I think it's really artful. It was really funny because you're like, oh, so many parachuted. Oh, shit, it's a skydiving wedding. And then he catches the bouquet. What a funny little touch. And Bill and Hal have this like come to Jesus moment.

Hal says you were really trying to kill me, weren't you, Bill? And he goes, of course I was. It never occurred to him that that was Hal's mother, too. That's insanity. And it's very funny. And then the Rube Goldberg device goes off as soon as they sort of make amends with each other. Yeah, he does the handshake thing twice and then really shakes hands. Hal tries to get Bill to come with them to horror heaven, like taking your emotionally unstable

dad's emotionally unstable brother on a road trip is not the way to please a child, you know? But it doesn't matter because his head blows up with the lowest bowling ball. Very funny. Very cute. This is like, I'm tying it all. I'm wrapping it up in a bow here at the end.

Snip, snip, curl, curl, bow is done. So they go driving through town to get out of town because everyone is dying, everything's burning. All hell is broken loose. And they get stopped at a stop sign. Yeah. And as there's a stop to the stop sign, what comes clopping towards them? What the fuck is this?

A ghost and a ghost horse who's smoking? It's the pale horse of death. It's death riding a pale horse. He had referenced him being death. No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess I didn't think that way. It just looked like an old man. I think of death as being a grim reaper.

Sure, sure. He's like tying everything up and you're like, what is this? That's honestly, I was like, what a great way. to wrap up this whole movie and then I was like, what the fuck is this? How do we wrap up the cheerleaders, Katie? How do we wrap up the cheerleaders? Describe it to me. You loved it.

Cheerleaders come up. They're slowly coming up on a bus and they're all leaning up the one side of the bus cheering and then a semi comes back and decapitates all of them in a row. And I just stood up and clapped. Katie. Yeah. Do you want to rate this movie? I do.

Would you like to go first? Sure. I'm going to give the first third and the sixth. second third a strong eight i'm going to give the middle third a four okay do you want to average those yeah what's that going to take me down to um eight plus eight is 16 plus four is 20 divided by three is what six and a third yeah yeah so well six and a third six and a third how about you um yeah i'm kind of on the same page as you i loved the concept um i i loved the concept um i i loved a lot of the lines and the imagery,

but that middle is a drag. I'm going to match your 6.33. In perpetuity. Yeah, yeah. And y'all should know this. If you decide how to rate a movie and street heat follows you, you're doing something right.

It's not what I do. It's who I am. I thought you said it's not who you are. It's what you do. It's street heat. No, it's not what I do. It's who I am on my core. Okay, okay.

Katie, speaking of who you are, open this package. We got it from England. Okay. One side I've ripped the tape off of it. It's from Ian. Hi, Ian. Oh my goodness. There's a lot of good stuff jammed in here. I have not opened it. You were getting first look. Wait, you opened it though. I opened it to see that you could, I like took the tape off so you could open. Yeah. Oh, me of Amelia. Oh, what's that? What's that? What's that? Throwing them to you. We got two, one each. We don't even have to fight over them. Oh, I love that for us. Hey, they're vegan friendly.

so am I. I'm vegan. You're friendly with vegans. I'm, most of the time. Ian, thank you. Oh my God, there's a ton of stuff in here. Are you ready? I'm just going to dump.

Hold on. Yeah. Oh, my God. All sorts of candy, Alan. I love that for us. There's duplicates of everything so we don't have to fight about it. Ian. Oh, these are love hearts.

This one's coming to you? Oh, shit. You've made the sake of hitting me in the hands. Street eat, street eat. hashtag share the love curly whirlies Curly Rory I was just thinking about

curly whirlies the other day Really you know A curly Wurley Catch these Okay put your hands out Okay watch eye on the curly Wurley Stop it

Stop clapping Focus I have hit him in the palms I've hit him in the palms I'm a fucking indoor kid Curly Wurleys In your eyes When the thing is being thrown at you though

Holy shit wait This is not the end This is not the end. This one I'm not going to throw you because if it hits you, I might hurt you. What is that? It's a book called 33 and a third Gentleman by Bob Gendron.

Let's read the note. Oh, Gentleman is in the Afghan Wigs record? The 33 and third is the... Hemtoss. Okay, put your hands, eyes on the book. Stop clapping and focus. Ready? No, put your hands closer together. God damn it. It's so clear your dad. Never had a catch with you.

Yes! We did it. Oh, yes. It's for gentlemen in the Afghan Wigs record. record that's awesome this can you just read the top of that uh hi alan high street heat fucking timely this is amazing oh wow typing this in case my handwriting is a shit show i've never sent physical mail to the states before so i'm not sure when you'll get this time capsule in case it takes years allow me to congratulate yin's on the death of trump we all knew he died one day but who expected it to happen in such an uncomfortable and humiliating way.

Those things must have been so itchy up there. Ah, Ian, you're clever. I like you. You mentioned the Afghan Whigs album, gentlemen a while back, a hugely formative album for me, and I was thrilled to see the Meta Festival a couple of years ago. Even had a T-shirt specifically made with this on it,

and it's grumpy cat. Okay, okay. I've squeezed a great little book about the album, which should take a bookboy like Alan about two hours to read. Took me three days, but let's not pick it that thread. if you've not come across them before the whole 33 and a third series is great also included some u k candy the legendary curly whirley which certainly started as an r and d office gag that accidentally got made they're not even curly as such as such love that fucked up ladders would be a more suitable name then there's fruit pastels i included them because of a tangential link to the kids club episode on terminator two this got to us so fast we just did terminator two that cool scene at the beginning where the robot foot crushes the human skull made the whole cinema jump when i was apart for me, I was turned around holding a fruit pastel up to the light from the projector to see what flavor it was.

You beautiful dork. What flavor was it? Anyway, I hope you enjoy them. I'm off to Finland in February, so if you're good, I may get some salt licorice-based stuff for you. The fins are delightfully crazy, and their licorice is even more extreme than the Swedish version. I get so much joy from you guys, so hopefully these will give you some back. All the best, Ian of Racksteady fame. Ian, thank you.

That's beautiful. That's beautiful and kind. And it got here really quickly and I bet it cost you like a Brazilian dollars because that's how the world works these days. Yeah. You're funny. I like you, Ian. I like all your snacks and I'm going to read this book about Afghan wigs. Hell yeah.

Man, that's so nice. Oh, Jesus, fuck. Thanks. Why aren't people so nice? I hate it sometimes. I feel guilty because I'm like, oh, Ian, I didn't get you anything, you know? Yes, you did. You've gotten him 10 years of anything.

Yeah, that's true. Coming up on 11 here. I know. Oh, my gosh. We should do it again. Do you want to do the 10th movie in the Hellraiser franchise? No, and yes. What's it called again?

Hellraiser judgment. We're doing Hellraiser judgment next week. On the fly. We're just trying to live our best lives. It's true. Is that so hard for y'all to understand? Also, I will have a poll up in the next day or so for the next kids club movie.

We're thinking of doing sword and sorcery movies from the 80s. I am excited for that. So get ready for that and get ready for some weird and uncomfortable boob talk. Why would it be weird or uncomfortable? Because those movies always have really weird and uncomfortable boobs. Don't you remember that Conquest movie that we did with the snake lady with the gold head and chew her and tits were just out for the entire film? She seemed happy enough.

She did seem happy enough. Did that spiked crotch Yeah, that was great! That movie is fantastic. Oh, yeah. If I remember, you hated it. Yeah. Because it was real, real bad.

That's to me. It's fulchy. It's just fulchie being vulte. Yeah, you know. So come back for Hellraiser judgment. Oh, my God. What year is Hellraiser judgment? I don't even know.

Okay, do you know what? Let it be a surprise for me. Let it be a lovely surprise. Oh, and, yeah, find us on the internet, um, we're in internet places. You know where, you know where we be. Uh, go to, uh, T. Public. Pick up one of those, uh, Halloween, uh, 2018 for her rise to judgment.

Uh, by one of those Halloween designs that Justin Gray did for us, uh, since it is spoopy season. And, and, thanks for listening to another Mr. Weirwaffe ambulance. Bye. Bye. Bye. Many acts in on dead pools, so many sightings at the pool. Now it's due in Finland's queue fulfilled reviews. Killer clouds and land the face.

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