Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 536- A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4: The Dream Master (1988)

Episode Date: October 13, 2025

In this week's episode, we are discussing one of the interminable number of Nightmare on Elm Street films: 1988's "The Dream Master." Special topics for your consideration include: a plea to new parents for naming your newborn child, liking something versus thinking it's good, a new cure for asthma that probably won't work, and a less-than-quippy Freddy.  We have done so many of these movies, I can't count them all for you. Just search in our feed for what feels like at least a solid half dozen of them! Hey guys, catch us on the God Awful Movies feed tomorrow! The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. This month is Beastmaster month! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Linnae Quiglius in this movie. What? Where? What? As I told, my ever-loving partner. You're ever-loving partner. I'd recognize those tities anywhere. Wait, is she the woman in the waterbed? No. Where is she?

She's inside of Freddie's skin. Really? Those are her tics. Those are her titty's trapped inside of Freddy's skin. Wow. Oh, brother. Why, though? I mean, because I also found out that her father's nickname was Nip.

And I was like, that is very on point for what your daughter will be doing later, sir. Do you think he had that nickname before or after she pushed a lipstick into her nipple in, what was a night of the? Night of the demons. Night of the demons. Perfect Halloween movie. A perfect Halloween movie. Also, a terrible movie. Or counterpoint, yes, Anne. Well, this is Nightmare on Elm Street Four, speaking of terrible movies. We have done one, two, two, three, five. And also Freddy versus Jason, which you were sure 55 minutes into the movie we had not done. All right. It is on me that I suggested that we do that movie. Yeah.

But it is also on you for going, yeah, I've never seen that. Well, I did say it to you. I thought I'd seen Jason be an independent contractor for Freddie. You did, but you did not follow that up with, no, we've already done that movie in episode 462. Wow, that was recent. I know. I know.

Are you saying it's my responsibility to Google your ideas? Because as we have well established on the show, you say shit like it's true and I believe it. That's how our relationship works. Did you get the Trump died today? Oh, my God. Really? God, I wish. Oh, fuck.

I mean, no, I love it here. Please don't. 2025. Tomorrow we're recording an atheist podcast. We might well get picked up by the thought police. Yeah. But catch us on gam tomorrow. Yeah, yeah.

Got awful movies. Yeah. Wait, how will they hear it tomorrow? Because it's going to come out the day after this comes out. Oh, shit. I meant because we're actually recording it tomorrow from where we're recording it. Bro, it's Monday to them. Or it's like 2028 and the world has exploded.

Listen. I am in so much fucking neck pain right now that like time is irrelevant to me You are sitting at an odd angle That's how I live my life And I hate it and I don't know how to fix myself Sorry Oh no, it's fine

I think I told you I went to my doctor yesterday And she was like oh let me check out your neck Good Lord You never want the doctor to say good Lord But I do appreciate that my doctor will be like Whoa, that's nuts Yeah once I got kicked really hard in a soccer game

and I had this massive bruise that was like from my knee to my toes. You remember that? And I wanted to get back to playing. So the doctor was like, I'll cut it open and drain it for you. And I was like, all right.

And so she cut it open. And when she squeezed it, this like geyser of blood came out. And she was like, yes. And I thought, God, I respect you. Isn't that when the watermelon seeds came out of your play?

Yes, because they were all little clots. It was all little clots. It was all little clots. It looked like watermelon seeds. Yeah. I love that you had to get back into no league soccer so bad that you were like cut me fucking cut me pardon you it was adult co-ed rec league there were standings and my team needed me i'm sorry were you at risk for being

called up to the majors in any point you know i was are you rookie of the year right now stop it i wasn't quite 42 at the time wait am i 42 no all right all of this to avoid talking about nightmare on elm street for the dream master, which I was sure we did because we've done the dream warriors and the dream child. Yeah.

A lot of dreams. Lots of dreams. A lot of dreams. I have to, right out of the gate? Yeah. I fucking love this movie. Are you choking?

No, I really enjoyed it. What is wrong with you? Holy shit. Maybe I had a very different experience than you, but this movie is trash. I'm not saying it's not trash. Oh, don't get me wrong. It's not even fun.

I thought it was pretty fun. And the practical effects are pretty on point. I did like the effects. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, This movie is directed by Rani Harlan, who directed another movie you loved, which was Deep Blue Sea. Oh, shit. Yeah.

The deepest, the bluest. Come on. He's considered one of the premier emcees of all time. Deepest, bluest. My hat is like a shark's fin? My head is like a shark's fin. Oh, boy. Ladies love Cool J.

Cool James. Yeah, cool James. Sorry. Ha. It's calling by his proper name. Yes, I know. What kind of disrespect? We start with a dis.

a Bible quote. I did not write this down. No, I just wrote, okay, don't try to make Freddie fucking biblical. That's what I wrote. Especially after being so burnt

by making fucking Hellraiser judgment biblical. I can't with the God right now. No. No. I'm also having to watch Conjuring Last Rights this week for God-awful movies.

I am goddied out. Yeah, you're like John Gotti over there. Yeah, I'm John Goddy. Goddy. Goddy. The lyrics to the opening song over the opening credit

are can't sleep tonight, gotta run, gotta hide. Yeah, you do. Yeah, fine. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Great, Freddy's here. There's an actor in this movie named Tuesday Night. She had a music career. Had a music career, not just an actor.

She's a double hyphenant. She was also a musician. I'm looking her up right now. Who was it? Oh, it was Kristen. Yeah. She doesn't seem like she should be named Tuesday. No, also, so I want to talk to parents.

Parents, think about what you're naming your fucking kids before you put them out into the world. Yeah. You name that child, Tuesday night. Tuesday night. It's got a K. It's funny. I mean, is it?

It's whimsical. Oh, she was on the X-Files, but I don't know who she was. That's close enough. It's X-Files noise. It's just a UFO sound, I see. So we're jumping in right after the Dream Warriors ended. I, okay, remind me how the Dream Warriors ended. This is one with the children and the Insleeves.

institution, right? Yes, this is the one played by the Arquette Child. Patricia! Yes. So Tuesday night is playing Patricia's character. Got it. So we jump right into

Media Rez. She is watching a little girl draw on a sidewalk out in front of 1428 Elm Street. Elm Street. And she's drawing a chalk house, a drawing of the house

she's sitting in front of that has one Frederick Kruger in the window. she says something like where's freddie and the child says he's not home but in the window he's there in the drawing so i guess he is home it's like i'm a mom bitch he is not nearly quippy enough in this movie i think that's maybe why i liked it it was a very quipless frederick i don't i mean at this point i have no respect for him so i just want to watch him be like insane rather than just being he's like barely in this movie i feel remind me to show you the chopsticks

that I got from... Just a little non-sequitur here? Yeah, well, no, it's actually related. It's a sequitur. Former singer of Elder Tenniset. Elder Tennisnet. Elder Tennisnet. I went out and met with her.

And she was like, oh, do you want the stuff that I don't need from this loot crate box that I got? And one of them is a Freddie Kruger chopsticks. It's a tiny little glove with chopsticks coming out of his fingers. I'm obsessed with this idea. They don't work as chopsticks. It's great, but you can't keep. can't cross them.

Yeah, you got to be able to cross them. But also, like, Freddie's hand is so fucking inefficient. I found myself during this movie thinking about, like, how does Freddie wipe his ass? You can take the glove off. Is it a glove? I thought it was just his hand. No, it's a glove. It's always been a glove.

Oh, my God. If you guys could see the fucking nerd disdain face that Alan just made it me, it's always been a glove, you fucking idiot. Jesus H. Kruger. I can't believe you didn't realize that. So she's in the haunted house. I don't know, basic haunted house nightmare stuff. Jangling chains, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jangling Unchained. It's raining outside. There's little girls doing double-dutch enchanting. What's that? Nothing. You'll hear it when you edit. Did she say Janko Unchained?

No. She's a jangling unchained. Shut up. Don't laugh at it now. It's too late. She yells for Joey and Kincaid. Were they in the previous movie? Yes.

Okay. Yes. Kincaid is the guy who's strong in his dreams. And then Joey, maybe he's like has like telepathic powers or something okay that does sound familiar he's not the punk rock lady no who died in the last movie no and he's not the guy who gets his uh uh veins ripped out which we see in the cold open the marionette yeah it's still like that is the peakest of freddie thing pinnacle fucking pentacle i assumed kincade was the dog kincade is not the dog no the dog's name

is jason of course it is yes why wouldn't it be why wouldn't it be um okay have you been able so you can people into your dreams just by calling them and they're like I did not want this well not just anyone can do it it was specifically Kristen that could do it she could pull everyone and that's why she had to bestow the power later on that was her powers to be able to get everyone together to fight back against freddie when they became the Avengers of the freddie verse this plot is trash yes yes exactly good good good it makes me think of um uh in monster squad when watching the movie from the roof when dad comes out when he's sitting on the roof and he brings him like kFC or whatever and they're like we wasn't he chopped apart by a weed whacker in the last

movie and he's like yes what he came back yes that's what yes that's what young frederick is doing this is not our i mean obviously this is not the last frederick no no uh no no he's got to get inside that fetus in the next film remember that it's so good so good actually that is the worst of the How dare you? That is my child's first movie. Just because you announced your pregnancy with her in it. That's true. Joey has a waterbed.

This is funny. It will come back later. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. She calls them into her dream and they're mad. Yeah.

And then the pup comes into her dream and bites her? Uh-huh. Why does he do that? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. And this movie you liked? Uh-huh.

Okay. All right. All right. I mean, I think, I think just coming off Hellraiser judgment, I was like, oh, it's, it's fun, at least. There's like some fun to it. I don't know. I found this on a level. No one is fingering puke to get information.

No, that's true. That's very true. But he does eat a meatball that's somebody's soul. So like, I don't know, Alan. That's fun? So, so when she wakes up. up she has a bite on her arm it's real yeah yeah she already knows this though she's been in that freddie verse even though we've never seen this human being before in our lives and i'll never see

her again tuesday night tuesday night maybe you're gonna put out there a little tuesday down on spotify on her drive home you won't i won't it's me oh my gosh um so uh she goes to pick up her boyfriend and his sister rick's hair is insane it shows that he's a little ramble He's a little rambunctious. He's a little bit out there. The dad just ignores her and then says to his daughter, are you going to school dressed like that? But she's dressed like a librarian.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Rick is dressed like an insurance broker. Yeah, but a little bit of a wild side. Like an edgy insurance broker. A little bit of a wild side. An insurance broker who drives a Camaro. It might be listening to The Crew when he shows up to broker your insurance.

That's right. we meet their friends this one girl has massive hair i wrote allan loves this girl's hair oh my god that wig is banana times it's that is not her hair oh that's nobody's hair or it is a few people's hair oh yeah it's lots of people's time and then we get a nerd on a scooter yeah she exists just to be a dork just to be a dork and then we meet dan jordan who's won major league hunk he looks like a baby eli manning sure i can see that You know who Eli Manning is? Yes.

I'm surprised. Okay, that, don't, why, you are being so fucking condescending to me today. You're like, of course I know who Eli Manning is. Last week you were talking about, like, Ron Jaworski, okay? I don't know what you know. Sorry, your neck hurts. For the listeners at home, Katie put her phone down to yell at me. That's like me in both hands to do this, the Italian hand gesture at you.

Only one was not cutting it. Yeah, no, no, it wasn't powerful enough. Now you know. now you know the power of my rage. I can only apologize for me and my neck. I got some muscle issues going on with my goddamn neck. I'm sorry, everybody. I mean, I have some issues with the goddamn world, so.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a vampire from what I've heard. Set to Drain. How did his voice ever fly? I like it. I mean, I have a very warm spot for the Smashing Pumpkins. It's totally like I was in junior high when Gall and Collie came out, you know.

Yeah, yeah. But if you heard that. that now and you're just like, yeah, I don't know. Really? I played, well,

I played cap and jazz for in my car recently and my friend's child was in the car with me and she was like, why does he sound like he's crying? And I was like,

oh, he really does. I was like, because he's fucking sad. It's emo. He's sad. But he just said kitty lick tickling

little piggyes. He also says something about smelling like salami, which I like. Oh yeah, the boys would smell like salami. That's it.

Yeah. He also can't look at the sky without seeing through it. Yeah. So sad. He's just such a sad man. I'm so good. I know. Why does he sound like he's crying? This is Pye's child. She's not wrong. No. She's not wrong. She's always right. It's fine. Children can see what we can't see. Yeah. Oh gosh. We get a weird scene of like a large athletic man yelling at the girl taking a drag off an inhaler. You're sucking on the wrong

nozzle. Oh, yeah. People ever yell that at you when you take a drag off your inhaler? No. Should I start? Probably. Okay. Also, grabbing your crotch while you're doing it. Pointing at my own penis, yeah. That guy has been in other things, but I can't think what, and then he's just not in this movie again. Just there to do this, yeah.

He was like, sorry, does your dick cure her in asthma? I don't understand. It's an albuterolidic. Yeah. Then the big-haired woman says something about him suffering from penis envy and just like mashes the shit out of a bug? And I was like, what is this movie? And the bug is made of butter because it smears. It's like apple butter.

The apple butter jeans. Oh, Alan. It was my, it was going to be my Amish rap song. It was like G-E-N-E-S? Precisely. Very good. Remember when that Amish family got busted for selling cocaine? No.

Yeah, there was like a few years ago, there was like an Amish mafia thing where they were selling cocaine. Not on Sundays, though. Probably not. Yeah. Can't do business on a Sunday if you're Amish. Sorry, I just saw my note that said, look at this hair. Look at this hair.

I knew you were going to love it. Kristen sees the guys from her dream. And then she walks away from a locker and it's slashed and there's light behind it. And I was like, well, is she dreaming now? She isn't, though. she's at school. She's not. She's not. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. This movie you liked. And then we see Rick.

Doing some karate kid shit. Doing karate to a soundtrack of Dramarama. Yeah. The most like, hey, that Dramarama song fucking slaps. Oh, I got to go back. It's really good. I feel like Dramarama just doesn't get the love that they deserve. I think Banana just took over that.

Too many Ramas. You get one. You get fucking one. And you know I love banana rama. But also, it's like the most incongrued. Karoist Karate scene song? I mean, all of the karate is baffling. Why? I mean, I, it's the, she, the, okay. In defense of this movie in, what is this, 1986, 85, something like that.

Oh, still on Tuesday nights, Wikipedia page, 1988. 88. Karate was omnipresent. Karate Kit, baby. Karate Kit, baby. kid, every, like, fucking, like, kind of trashy kid you knew had throwing stars. Oh, yeah. Nunchucks.

You got the teenage mutant ninja turtles coming out. The turts were out there. Yeah, I mean, just... It's fine. I understand. Karate was everywhere. It's just the thing that bothers me is how she's able to absorb other people's powers. That's all I...

That's the part I don't like. And how later she knows how to do nunchucks. In this movie that you liked. I should say, I don't know if I liked it, but I don't know if I liked it, but I didn't hate it well that makes one of us uh canada dry you're gonna do a lot burpin no way dude keep it tight uh so there we see that their dad sucks again yeah he's like i know i'm late it's the damn contracts my daughter wife yes i hate my daughter wife as a trope i hate my daughter wife so much yeah yeah um but alice hasn't actually

interactive and internal life, you know? She's a real daydreamer. Which is important, but till it isn't. Well, you know, any dreams are Freddie territory, so day or night. Wait, he's getting into her head when she's daydreaming? Maybe. Oh. I don't know.

I don't think so. Then we see Kincaid in his bedroom throwing darts from a baseball glove. Yeah. And he's like, I just don't want to get in the alley. I'm just, I'm not, it's pinchy. I want that dog. I want that dog to be my dog. Oh, that's a very cute dog.

Good dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kincaid just wakes up in the trunk of a car, but he then just kicks open. Yeah. I forgot he's super strong in his dreams. I was pissed about it. Yeah. Okay, continuity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a point four. Point against. He yells, Kristen, I'm going to pound your ass. Or? Maybe Kristen likes it. Yeah, you don't know what Kristen did, too. Kristen might like her ass pounded now and then.

We see the dog. and Jason's being a little weirdo and then he pisses fire. He's digging a hole and barking at Kincaid like, it's my fucking hole! Yeah. And then pisses fire because Jason has gonorrhea. And then barks at the chasm that his fire piss has made

in this movie that you liked. They do, I do. It's seemingly the fires of hell that are down there below his fire piss. Why is his, because when we see it coming out of his little dog penis, it's fire. It's fire. Why is the dog piss fire? Because it's a dream.

Oh, right. That's one I've ever had. Okay, all right, all right. But then the skeleton reforms and there's lungs and blood and flesh, it's really pretty good. Yeah, and we're bringing back Frederick Hurger. Yeah. When he comes out, Jason, the dog is like, fuck it, sorry, you're on your own and just turns and walks away. I want him to shoot fire and fire himself out of the scene. That would be great.

His first words back, Freddy's first words back, are, you shouldn't have buried me. I'm not dead, which feels way too serious for Freddy. I don't expect it's something quippier He's not his jocular self now He's angry He's bombed, yeah Yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah

So him and Freddie are going at it And he throws a car on top of Freddy Yeah, they're in a junkyard Yes, yes, sorry, yes He throws a car on top of Freddy And then makes the mistake Of immediately over-celebrating You don't gloat when it comes to Freddy

Yeah Because then the rest of the cars come to life And there's explosions and green headlights Yeah, I mean the car is smashing together and honking feels very stressful, but I don't understand why there's so much green smoke. No, no. But also, from a practical effect standpoint, pretty cool. Yeah, agree.

Yeah. He's yelling Freddy's back, Freddy's back, and then he gets stabbed by Freddie, and Freddy says, one down, two to go. A totally reasonable thing for Freddy to say. Not a quip. Not a quip at all. I guess I just wanted it to be quippy. And Dream Jason watches his friend die in real life.

Yeah, the dog's upset. Yeah. Then we cut to Kristen straight up smoking in her bedroom because I love the fucking 1980s. We've all done it. We've all been there. I didn't smoke in the 80s. You smoked in the 80s. Because I was six in 1990.

All right. Well, then I've done it. Yeah, sure. You did. Because I was 16 in 1990. Because you're my dad. We really should have played this straight as a father-daughter podcast from the beginning. kidding.

Oh, God. That's so disturbing. I'm only 10 years older than you. Hey man. They're smoking cigs. It's true. It makes you more mature. That's fucked up.

I don't mean that. So Joey's trying not to fall asleep. Yeah. But his water bed is going hog wild. And he's listened to Billy Idol. And then he pulls back the sheet, I guess. Uh-huh. And the water bed is clear.

Right. The woman from his. poster is now in his waterbed. Yeah, the nudie lady from the picture is gone. But lull, J.K., it's Freddy. It's not a nudie lady. Why would you think that's a nudie lady? I wanted it to be like a phantasm where he makes

out with the nudie lady and then he's like, I'm actually Angus Grim. I just feel like Joey, as a person who has experienced the things he has experienced, should look at that nudie lady in his water bed and not be excited. He should be like, this is fucking Freddy. Listen, he's a young boy. His hormones are raging.

Also, I can't hear the name. Joey without immediately going into Joey, I'm not angry anymore by Concrete Blonde. Okay, all right. Here is Freddy's first quip. He says, how's this for a wet dream? Which I thought, actually, that's pretty good, Freddy. Well done, Freddie. Well done, Frederick, Frueger.

And then, actually, Joey gets killed in his bed. There's blood in his waterbed and his clear waterbed. Yeah, it's a blood bed. And we immediately cut to Alice feeding her fish. She's a fish girl because of course she is She's got a fish girl vibes She's got fish girl vibes She says she doesn't want to see herself in the mirror

Yeah So her brother starts trying to teach her karate Which I thought well that solved all problems in the 1980s And his version of karate is just kind of kicky He's real kicky Yeah Yeah he's real kicky And she kicks her shoe into the fish tank

They laugh which isn't that funny for the fish or her shoe what are you going to do um and then joey's mom finds him in this dead in his bed he's now inside the bed i liked this sure sure but the clear water bread is just freaking me out i just thought what will the police say about this assume the police have been called what would shetland say in this Yeah, Jimmy Perez. Oh, what a stud. Maybe even Tosh. Maybe Tosh comes in.

Making a Tosh face. So we cut to Kristen Smoking Sigs at school, like you do. And Alice is talking about the dream master. Yeah. Which is something her mother taught her about before her death. Yeah, you can master your dreams. You can be the dream master. Just have to dream about someplace fun.

Remember, you're in control. Yeah. Then they walk into a classroom. And Rick, he, of the big hair in karate. Yeah. He's saying something about Kafka and Gerta? Uh-huh.

What? What a dream boat? Karate and German influential writers? Yeah. Yeah. Who doesn't love talking a little Gerta? I just don't think so. You don't think he's just been at home reading the sorrows of Young Werther?

I don't. I don't. Faust. I'm just kicking away. I love it What old people write stuff for teens to say Something about them not being irreconcilable Oh shut up guy

Oh man But in this scene Kristen goes headlong backwards into a wall Uh huh I don't know why Is this when she freaks out about her friends being dead And then gets knocked out Right because Kincaid and Joey's seats are empty

Yes So she knocks herself out and then wakes up in the nurse's office, which is the nurse is. A terror. It's Robert England and drag. It sure is. I felt like sorry for when she wakes up again and it's the real nurse, like the real actor, that she was like, this is what you guys think I look like? This was the me? This was the me?

It's rough. Oh, man. So yeah, Freddie says some mean stuff to her and then she wakes up for real. And then we get... I want to draw some blood. There's your quippy Freddy that you've been waiting for. He's not being that quippy. He's just spraying blood out of a syringe.

I mean, I think it really depends on the writer who's coming to do these movies, how quippy Freddy is going to be. I guess you're right. Freddy is all of us. Freddy's in every man. He's shaped by the, he's a clay. He's mud in your hand. He's the clay in your hands and not just the mud in your eyes.

Don't. Don't do this. Don't bring a mineral lyrics. This is just turned into Pittsburgh's preeminent emo podcast. I'm pretty sad. You guys want to talk about Boilermaker

or the hated? Oh. I did get a little teary when you were reciting a rites of spring lyrics in the last episode. Oh, buddy. Oh, it hits me so hard. It hits you every time.

So we see the hunky football guy. He's going into the Crave Inn. Oh, my God. I missed that entirely. Oh, did you? How? How?

How? How? How did I do that? As in Westerfeld, Craven. Yeah. Isn't this first name Westerfield? No. Not Wesley?

I'm hoping at this point that Alice gets to fuck Dan Jordan, except that her slutty dynasty friend is trying to block her. Yeah, yeah. This is big hair. Yeah. Her friend says her, there's life after exercise. Like, is she particularly buff? that's like she's like a punk rocker she's got a punk rock bracelet and like but like her thing

is working out yeah which is fine yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but like i do not think 80s movie punk and work out are too synonymous ideas i mean the duality of man duality of man duality of debby oh my god that's such a good band name should we put it on our list of bands we're going to start like our emo band, I'll give you something to cry about. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. Oh, so good. So, yes, he's in the Crave Inn, West Craven.

Where Alice works. Uh-huh. As a server. Or sometimes she's wearing her street clothes and sometimes she's wearing like a 50s diner costume. Yeah, just depends on what day they filmed that scene. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Rick brings Kristen to the Craven.

They run in and yell, we've got to go. Yeah. And then I guess they came to get Dan Jordan, but why are they taking Dan Jordan to the haunted house? I don't know. Because Dan Jordan asked Alice about her brother. Yeah. And early in the movie, he was like, I know him. I don't really know him, but I would introduce you to him.

Yeah. Are they friends? But now you know him? Yeah, you're right. Yeah. And he just gets in a car with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

They go to the house, to Freddy's house. Uh-huh. And Kristen says he's waiting in there for me to dream. And then her mom shows up outside. And she's like, you fucking dildo. Get the fuck out of you, you fucking moron. Kristen's mom is such a bitch. Why are all the grownups in this movie so mean?

They're like one step away from just being, Wawwop, Charlie Brown Barrens. Kristen's mom also murdered Frederick Krueger. Yeah. She's the last one. Kristen is the last of the children whose parents murdered Frederick Krueger. Yeah. And there's still a lot of movies after this one.

the line has ended um she did her mom takes her home yeah and she says what's wrong with me and her mom says adolescent anxiety and then we realize that her mother has drugged her sure why does this all happen so often in horror movies and it's specifically a um nightmare and elm street thing too is it yeah because what i watched of uh freddie versus jason before i realized i'd already seen the entirety of the movie uh the one dad is drugging his daughter in that as well okay I just remembered that, but I didn't remember what movie it was in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, it's a thing for these movies.

God, I need sleeping pills that work that fucking fast. I'll tell you what. Banana times. She says to her mom, no, mother, you just murdered me. Take that to your goddamn therapy. I like that a lot. As if therapy is the worst thing her mom could be doing. Right.

Her mom has murdered a man. She should probably be in therapy. I would have kicked a priest to the thing. a dick for my mom to go to therapy. Oh my God. Can you imagine how much better our lives would have been? Yes. Yes, I can. Yeah.

Breaking the cycle. I'm doing all the therapy. Yeah, that's why I, yeah, yeah. I tell you all the time that you're doing a fantastic job. I wish you would stop. All right. Katie, step up your game. Thank you.

That's what I need to hear. It is not what you need to hear. It's what you want to hear. Oh, thanks for therapeutizing me. Why am I paying Dr. H? I graduated therapy. I asked him if he ever thought I'd graduate And he said we'll talk about it someday

That was about 10 years ago I'm right after I get this pool paid for It's in the shape of my initials I think my therapist was just like Yeah You probably don't need to come back I don't want to do this anymore You probably don't need to come back

I don't think that's how therapists work If the documentary film What about Bob taught me anything They just pass you off to someone else They don't like you What a documentary film So Kristen is doing the dream master thing. She dreams that she's on a nice island. But I bet Freddie lives there.

Oh, did she yell at her mom? It's his fucking banquet and on the last course. She sure does. She sure does. That's a good thing. Poetry. That would be the name of the Do You Want Something to Cry About album? Write that down. It's his fucking banquet and on his last course. I love that. Oh my God. That's such a good EP. Oh, my God. So she had, yes, yes, he has to dream something. place fun so she dreams herself at the beach a place she looks very uncomfortable at being well it's a yes it's a weird look and a weird beach because like the highway is like 10 feet behind her it's like a bunch of grass and then a highway yeah but there's a little girl there building an elaborate sandcastle

and the little girl's name is alice yeah but why because the same little girl she sees at the beginning of the film is drawing the house right right so So Alice already had powers? Right. As a child? Right. Okay. Right.

This movie you liked. That's okay because Freddy's a shark. Freddy's a fucking shark. Did you think Freddy was going to be a shark in this movie? Because I did not. Freddy's claws like a shark fin. Freddy, deepest blue. Oh, do you think that, wait.

Do you think this is Rennie Harlan? Do you think that, wait. Do you think that the inclusion of that Ice Cube song? My hat is like a shark's fin is a callback. I wish it had been Freddy's fedora that had been going through the water and not his claw. He is a shark. He's a land shark. Again, to the special effects, I love it when the claw comes on land and start dripping around.

Oh, yeah. He blows up that sand castle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it blows up the sand castle. She falls into quicksand. Uh-huh. And he kicks her down. What's at the bottom of that quicksand? The haunted house.

Yeah, Freddy's basement. Freddy's basement. But he, but the most of the most of the sand. most important part of this scene. This is my favorite part of the movie. Hands down. Claws down. Hats like Sharks fins down. Before he starts, like, pressing her down into the hole with his foot, he puts on a pair of sunglasses because he's in the beach. I feel like the sunglasses thing was the thing that made some pervert in Hollywood be like, this could be a kid's cartoon.

Yeah, you're right about that. When did that come out? It was, I, no. I know it was out when I was a child, but... I don't know what year that gave out, yeah. I'm not going to find out either, even though I could. I have the box of all knowledge here in my hand. Literally thought that we were looking up. That's why I had a sip of ginger ale. Oh, nah, fuck it.

Yeah, fuck it. We're done now. We're done with that. We're moving on. He says she's Elm Street's last brat. Oh, man. Freddy loves Steam. Sure.

It's just kind of his thing. He was a janitor. worked in a steamy world. I guess so. And the boiler room and whatnot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, all right. So she calls Alice, and Alice shows up very wet.

Yeah, why is Alice soaking wet? I don't know. I don't know. Ben Shapiro's wife told me that shouldn't happen. Oh, no, that's when you're sick. She yells at her and slaps her. Yeah. Why?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. And then she gives her all of her power. And Freddie says, Alice, come to daddy. Which I was very excited about Yeah, he throws Kristen into a fire And she says, Alice, you'll need my power As his little chest babies wriggle around

Yeah Just think about them being a little Linnea quickly in there Oh my God, a tiny Linnea quickly Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah When she wakes up, when Alice wakes up There's a greetings from hell postcard on her mirror Do you think I like that? Because I did, I did. You did. It seemed in Kristen.

Yeah, so good. now she sees herself in the mirror because she takes it down also she keeps taking down pictures of her friends as they die which felt like really bleak leave them up keep them in your heart she also keeps taking down pictures so she can see herself and keeps getting like more conventionally attractive as she's doing it like wearing better clothes they're parting her hair better yeah and at the beginning it's like kind of greasy now it's like getting to be yeah She looks like a pert commercial. A pert commercial.

Is that the two and one? I think so. Yeah, good. I don't want no condition. It just makes my hair too heavy. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I load it up.

All right. Is my hair looking flat? No, no. I think it's just because I have kind of like, I don't know. Anyway. You have white boy hair. Yes. Yes, and.

Yes, and. Anyway, Kristen is burning in her bed. Uh-huh. Yeah. How do we dance when the beds are burning? How do we sleep while the world is turning? I can't... No, how do we dance with the world is turning? How do we sleep when our beds are burning? Just saying, go revisit midnight oil. Still kind of good. All right. All right. And then that guy, like, ran or became a senator and was corrupt. It's very funny. Really? Yeah, the singer guy, the baldy. Good for him. Well... Good for him. Yeah, get yours, baby! I'm very politically active and I like a little money on the side

and I like a little corruption no I'm sorry I didn't mean it um Kristen is buried next to Kincaid because reasons are all no and also next to have their Langenkamp's character too I didn't notice that Nancy was there too

oh it's just like so all of them get buried this is the Freddie crew Nancy can't be dead because she comes back in the new nightmare which is another fucking and Freddie movie that we did. Nancy's not dead. Is that canonical? Is that like in the, in the, I thought that was outside of, like, I think there's a,

Oh, this is West Craven taking it back. That's West Craven taking it back. Yeah, right, all right, all right, all right. Yeah. Because she's not in five. No. No. Yeah, I think that is on a different Freddie timeline.

Okay, fine. Who can say? I'm not as, I'm not as into the Freddyverse as, as a lot of people might be. No, I don't think it's good. which is a shame because it's a great concept that he can only get you while you're sleeping in your dreams is a great concept I'm more of a horace pinker guy tell me more horse pinker is from a shocker it's basically freddie but he got the electric chair do you remember that movie with uh Mitch Pelleggie in it yeah I love that guy and I only

remember Horace Pinker because there was the pop-bunker band called Horace Pinker yeah yeah I forgot all about that yeah I forgot all about that it's a terrible fucking movie yeah West Crave Inn. Did he make that? Yeah, that's a West Grave in. Yeah. Oh, brother. No, you can't go back to that well.

No, you can't. You already did it, and it's quite famous. I mean, I guess it's better than going back to, uh, was it last house on the left? Oh, no, I've never even finished that movie. You know, I've never seen the end. Might would you? No, I got halfway in and was like, I can't. Well, admittedly, you saw the grossest parts of the movie.

I know, but I just, then I don't want it anymore. I don't want it. No, no, no, no, no. It's like watching Cannibal Hall It costs to me like, you know, you killed that big turtle. I'm going to walk away from this movie now. I never saw Cannibal Hall because. Of course I haven't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's just see that street trash is on Shutter if you want to go back and revisit. So Alice smokes now. Yeah, she's smoking in the bathroom. She goes, I don't smoke, which reminds me of, I don't read Latin. Oh, wait. Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

This is where we see that she, Sheila, the nerd, has made a device that makes bugs run screaming their antennas off. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. An ultra-high sound wave. Because Big hair is afraid of bugs. She did it for her. And I was like, oh, I would like to see their cute little, like, love story going on.

Yeah, they don't. They just, they antagonize each other. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They also keep saying to each other, we have matching luggage, which is to mean bags under their eyes, which I, as a 41-year-old woman felt offended by. Bitch, you have not lived until you've seen bags like these. I think we should start saying that to each other. Matching luggage.

Let me have matching luggage. It sounds pervy for some reason. What would luggage be in? I don't know. Put it in my suitcase. Yeah. Ew. I don't know the combo.

So the nerd is in class and she starts having asthma issues. Yeah, during the physics test. And she's looking at an equation and it starts going nuts. It says learning is fun with Freddie? What is this? What is this? Imagine a Freddy movie where he's quippy in text. She starts dripping blood from her pen and Alice freaks out.

Who's asleep here? Both of them? Are they both asleep? I think. Why would the nerd be asleep? She's been studying for this test all week. She's not tired. There's asthma attacks will wear you out.

yeah I guess well she has she's not so cute as a button and I feel like no one's acknowledging it no well that guy with the nozzle was just kidding that's not acknowledging someone's cute she gets trapped in the desk and a claw comes out to grab her and then it's Freddy's claw

and he has an apple and now he's the teacher imagine if it wasn't Freddy's claw or someone else's Wolverine is suddenly in this movie he does the like tongue waggle at her Oh, yeah. That's a Freddie, that's a choice move from Frederick. I don't like seeing his tongue.

No. No. No. Robert, keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself. He says to her, you want to suck face. And then he sucks all the life out of her. So suck face. Yeah. What, I need to look up a movie real quick. I think it means making out. It does mean making out for sure. Okay. It means going. So I know that as an old on Golden Pond reference, which is a movie that there's no reason you should have ever heard of and or seen my nana used to say that sucking face do you want a suck face no that's mean no no no but just like a no no sucking face was making out okay okay oh they're over there sucking face

you know look at these two suck and face it's such a weird like i've never heard it outside of the context of someone referencing on golden pond really yeah listeners write in have you heard this phrase and if so was it from on golden pond or my nana and then he sucks the life force out of she looked. Yeah, and it looks cool. She looks cool. She looks like a deflated balloon. Yeah, really great. She is dead. You'd think they wouldn't let the students watch her body be loaded into an ambulance, but yeah, they do.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I have a note that just says Alice runs feeling blame and shame. Blame and shame. Yes, this is her fault. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And also I have a note here that says, Rick is a little Christian Slatery. He's got some Christian Slater vibes. He does. And he's also not reacting appropriately to any of these deaths. His girlfriend

any of these friends, like, he has lost four people this week, and he's kind of like, I'm just going to do some cata. Check out my ghee. Yeah. So now Dan is stepping up. Dan is like, you know what? There's a void in this. I'm going to step up.

I'm going to be the responsible person here. I'm going to check in on Alice to see how she's doing, because you know what? I might have a little crush on her. But he's on a date with a blonde lady. He is. Going to the drive-in. I've never been to a drive-in in my whole. entire life. I am not.

There's one not too far from here. I know. It's in Vandergrift. Yeah. I am on their mailer. I get the air email every month. Well, why don't we should go to a drive-in? Every time I think about doing it, I just think like, I don't want to drive. I also have this idea of like, what if your car battery dies and then you're stuck at the drive-in? What? Because you have to leave your car battery on to hear it on the radio, don't you? I don't know how it works these days. You used to be when I was a kid, they would put a radio receiver in your window.

It was a 70s. That was the 70s. The night. 1970s. No, it was in the 80s. It was in the early 80s. When you were smoking cigarettes. Yeah. I'd not started smoking cigarettes yet because the last movie I remember going to see the drive-in was the great Muppet caper.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. All right. Well, maybe we'll go. Yeah. I would go to a driving with you in a fucking heartbeat. Will you drive me? Yeah.

All right. I'll go. Oh, yeah. I'll drive your whole goddamn family. I don't give a shit. What are we going to see, though? I don't know. We can't you lose anything scary.

She'll lose her goddamn mind. I don't know. I think we should just drop her into the Texas chainsel mask her end of the pool and be like deal with a kid we did she didn't sleep for a week after she saw clue the movie because the cook gets stabbed listen the shit that your mother and I saw as we baby children yes by the time I was her age I was already a hitchcock fan I may or may not have seen the thing by the time yeah exactly come on come with it now kids these days are soft I'm not saying I'm going to call your daughter a pussy.

No, she is, though. Fucking eight-year-olds. Oh, God, she ate. She's eight. So bananas. I know. I can remember like it was yesterday we're talking about Freddie, the dream child. The dream child, yeah.

Okay, so there is a high school locker room scene in which everyone is 40 years old and both as fuck. Who are these people in this? Is this what high school locker rooms look like? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I hated being in one. Yeah, big time. Oh, my God.

Also, I don't know why, but when we cut back to Alice in history class, there is a sign that says history is yesterday, history is today, and that made me laugh uncontrollably, and I don't know why. It is. Is history not tomorrow, though? Oh, fuck. Yeah. No, there is no tomorrow. Maybe that's, maybe it's meant to be a, um, uh, uh, a harsh sentiment. by genius director Rennie Harlan.

I even know that says cheerleaders surround Rick on the toilet. Tell me what that means. Rick fell asleep on the shitter. Okay. And then he goes into the dream world on the shitter and these cheerleaders come into the stall and then his sister and then Kristen and then some fire and then it turns into an elevator and his hair is bat shit and he's got a ghee but an invisible force is kicking his ass.

I don't know. Oh, that's right. He has to fight in the dream dojo. Yes. Yeah. And Freddie's just doing, like, karate affirmations? I don't get it. But then Rick Field realizes how to fight the invisible Freddy.

Which is what? I don't know. No, I don't either. And then he kicks the aforementioned glove off of Freddy's hand. I thought he just kicked his hand off. No, it was his glove. Okay. It's always been a glove, you fucking stupid.

stupid cunt. I hate when you talk to me like that. You guys, rewind the podcast and go back to when I said that. Your face said it. Your face said it all. I would punch my face in the face if it said that to you. The claw flies right into his tum-tum, though. Yeah.

And now Rick is dead too. Rip Rick. Alice wakes up screaming and windows explode in the class because she saw her brother die. Yeah. So did he? he die on the toilet? I guess. That sucks.

Also, like, what are the police saying about that? How did he die there? Was he, like, did he have, was he slashed across the tum-time? Well, it's like that one ex-all episode where the guy strains too hot on the toilet and gives himself an angrilysm. That can't happen. But he really died from a cockroach is killing him. That's right.

That's right. Yeah, yeah. We get a close-up of Alice's face at the funeral, but she's just got a lot of snot. And I thought maybe that wasn't visible in a non-H-D work. world. Like the Neil Young boogers in

Oh, the booger sugar. No, yes, it is. In the last dance, the, last waltz, the band documentary. There is, Neil Young has a big clump of cocaine in his nostril that who directed that? Corsese had to go back

in and like frame by frame take the cocaine out of his nose. No, not Neil Young. I did like that Big Hair wears the punk rock bracelet to the funeral. Oh, yeah. It's not a costume, Mom. It's who she is. But he's not dead, is he?

He's not dead. But it was actually just a daydream. He is indeed dead. Yes, he's dead. Yes. He wakes up in his casket and says, hello, belly. And Alice says to Big Hair, it'll take more. than bench presses to beat him.

And I was like, okay, so she is into working out. That's her thing. Nothing about this character says she's into working out. She's not, you wouldn't even look at her and be like, well, she's tote. No, you wouldn't just, she's skinny. She's skinny. She's skinny. She's very skinny.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She gives her studded bracelet to Alice and says, it's a good luck charm. And Alice says, mind over matter, which is something that the nerd used to say. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I guess. And then we see that Alice has both Nunchucks and Drama-Roma that she's doing, Nunchuk work to because she has absorbed her brother's

Nunchuk powers. This person with the wig on is sick at Nunchukes. I don't know what you're talking about. That's Alice. It's Alice. It's my friend Alice. And she says, what's happening to me? I haven't know what this is. Oh shit. She has skills. Yeah, she does. She sure does. Dad's sitting on the couch fully closed with a jacket and shoes. Make yourself comfortable, bud, it's your house And the implication is that he's drunk Yeah, he is a drunk

A drunk, we learned that name And he says, I lost Rick because I didn't watch him I don't know, he died by getting slashed on the tum-tum on the shitter What, you couldn't have been there, my dude No, there's all those cheerleaders in there You wouldn't have fit No, no, no You know, I can't shit unless I'm surrounded by cheerleaders

What a fucking kank They're like my metamusel she's going out to meet Dan Jordan he's a full man guy He's a first last for me Yeah yeah yeah She doesn't show up And he says all the towns in America

And I got to move to the Bermuda Triangle Because the girl says yeah That she disappear? Is that why he thinks? I don't know They're not disappearing though They're dying Sure

But if you think about it I think about it dying She's just disappearing from life See this movie Perfectly encapsulates Two things that growing up in the 80s made you think we're way more threatening than they were. QuickSand and the Bermuda Triangle.

I have not faced either. I feel like we just don't talk about the Bermuda Triangle anymore. Never. I feel like we didn't unsolved mysteries about it. And then everyone was like, well, I guess we got our fill. Should I just to like terrify my child with it? I guess. But like, no, it's not a thing anymore.

It's fine. Has anything gone missing in the Bermuda Triangle recently? Have you lost anything in the Bermuda Triangle? Right in. Get in touch. so he's and he's waiting at the crave in and then we get big hair working out once again to incongruous workout music she's listening to shnade o'connor i want your hands on me also a fucking jam bob love early chnade i love all chnade yeah yeah yeah she's pretty good for an irish

rip the world treated you like shit i'm sorry one hondo um i'm sorry i just added to it Alon looked at me with disdain again. I feel like I need to wrap this episode up. His neck hurts and he's mad at me. Never. Yes. She's lifting with a belt on, but not a weightlifting belt, a fashion belt. Yeah, yeah.

It's a big, big old fashion belt. She's fashion over function. Fashion over function. Oh, man. So Alice is sneaking out. She sneaks out in the same way that Rick snuck out in the beginning of the movie. Right. Which he didn't have to do because he was going to school.

Exactly. Yeah. But he wanted to avoid his dad, even though he ran into the house and then kissed his dad. That's right. He did kiss his dad. And she's dressing much hipper now. She's got a hipper vibe going on. She does. And she goes to see Reefer Madness? Uh-huh.

She goes to find Dan and ends up in a movie theater downtown. Next door to the inn, to the Crave Inn, I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So why does she do that? I don't know, but I have a note that says seats without cuff holders? Barbaric. I'll tell you what, I really liked the popcorn flying out of her cup before as the wind picks up.

I thought that was cool. I was trying to figure out how they did that if they had her at an angle so that everything was just falling out of her. Or, yeah, blowing a fan behind it? I don't know, yeah. I liked it, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So the film shows the diner and her stuff is getting sucked into the film and then she gets sucked into the film. Yes. And she sees herself sleeping in the theater. But people are in the theater. clapping and the people are all of her dead friends. Oh, I didn't notice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Kristen's there and all that stuff, yeah. So she's in the diner in the movie. Right, where she meets old herself. Because she said earlier, I don't want to end up being a waitress for the rest of my life. Right. And it's old her that's like, I don't know, I'm time to wait for you. Right.

If the food don't kill you the service will, that's our guy, Freddie. That's our quipster. That's this Freddy I'm here for. And Freddie pulls out standard diner fare. A pizza. A 12-inch piece, personal band pizza. No, it's a biggie. That's a big pizza.

That's at least a 16-inch pizza. So, don't fucking, don't fuck, don't fuck with me here. Don't fuck with me. I was about to call you by your last name. I'm so, so sorry. Very combative today. I'm so sorry. I don't mean to be.

I'm so sorry. No, it's me. It's me. I'm taking everything personally. Like, size of a thing. pizza. So we get the soul pizza. Eating the head is quite gross. It's very funny. What does he say when he eats it?

Did you write it down? No. I love soul food. Bring me more. Good quips. Good quips. I do remember Jason McHittrick of Cryptoccurium gave us a soul pizza. Yes, I remember. Somewhere in this attic. Yeah. It's probably somewhere, yeah, mixed in with all of your other horror. Acutramal. Accoutrema. But I did like that when he He picks up the meatball. It is like going, it's a baby. It's a little baby.

It's the baby from the Elia song. And I think it's supposed to be Rick's head that he's pulling out of the pizza. Oh, it's Rick's head. Well, that is, no, that is just not decipherable. I'm sorry. The note that says Soul Pizza Freddy eats the Rick Meatball. Okay, all right, all right, all right. So Debbie's on the bench.

She's bench pressing. Yeah. With these shiny plates, which I've never seen in my life. I'm not a thing I'm not sure exists. No. But it exists in the. this because it reflects Freddie as she lifts the barbell, which I liked. I thought that was like a classy touch.

Uh-huh. And while she's doing this, for I don't know what reason, Dan and Alice are caught in a like time loop? I think this is happening because Freddie, they're both asleep somehow. Did Dan Jordan fall asleep outside the Crave-in? You know what? When you're waiting for a friend outside the Crave-in or you just fall asleep in your car. them okay because they realize they're both asleep and that he has them stuck in this loop but

I don't know how he's doing that yeah he's ready yeah he's ready so yeah it's fine she keeps coming like around she keeps getting in the truck driving away and then running back around the corner of the craven yeah what apparently is Robert england's favorite thing that happens in any of these movies because he said it's the most like dreamlike thing that happens in any of the movie. Fair enough. Uh, what happens to big hairs arms, Katie? Well, she gets a spot from Freddie. Yeah. But he's not spotting. No. He's pushing down. She yells, I don't believe in you. And he goes, I believe in you. Which if you think that made me laugh, you're right. It really did. It really, really did. He breaks her arms at the elbow. He breaks her elbows and then something is

crawling out and then her arms fall off. Yeah, and she has bug arms growing out of her arms. Yeah. And then oh holy shit holy shit what this is checkoff's Kafka it's Chekhov's Kafka because she is Gregor she turns into a giant bug Gregor I can't remember his last name oh I need to know I don't need to know when the movie care when the TV show came up but oh fuck it's right of like the tip it's it's right there Gregor such with an S Gregor Samsa Yes Yeah so she turns into a giant cockroach

Yeah it's cool It's really cool Yeah And then of course In a very relevant A 2025 thing that happens She gets stuck in a giant roach motel He says you can check in but you can't check out

And I didn't really like clock that it was a roach motel For about 30 seconds afterwards While I was sorting it out And I was like Hotel California The Eagles What is this? What is this quip? Roaches check in, but they can't check out.

Oh, was that the slogan? It was the tagline of the Roach Motel. Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I love that her head sloths off and she's got a cockroach head. And she's got that butter on the floor because the bug was made of butter. And there's other bugs in there with her. And then Freddy just crunches the whole thing up.

Not bad. Freddy. Somehow Alice knows she's dead. She's like, well, Debbie's gone. Yeah. How? Because she gets her power. Oh, she's suddenly good at bench press.

Yes. Or wearing a punk bracelet, the two things that we know Debbie for. She also likes to watch Dynasty and doesn't own a VCR. So, Alice is driving Dan Jordan's truck. Yeah. And she hits Freddy with the truck. Yeah. But the truck is fucked.

Yeah. I like this. Freddy totals their truck. Yeah. Yeah. But I also wrote here, I would. quite like this to be over. It's not an exceptionally long movie.

It's like an hour and a half. It felt long. And I watched it at one point, too. Alan, I missed nothing other than the dead friends in the movie theater. And I would have missed that at one speed anyway. So she won't let the EMTs when they show up to take Dan to the hospital. She won't let them knock Dan out. Yeah, she slaps the needle out of the guy's hand.

Have you talking about at the time that I slapped a needle out of my dentist's hand? when I was a kid. No. He was going to put a novacator on the roof of my mouth, and I did not want it to happen because that hurts like hell. And I smacked out of his hand and he drew back to punch me. I think you did tell me that, actually. He should have punched him.

Taught him what's up. Wow, I bet he hit his kids. Oh, God, 100%. Yeah. And he always smelled like smoke. And I was like, if you're going to put your hands in somebody else's mouth, don't be smoking. I feel like I don't take dental advice from a smoker.

No. Like, you don't care. Right? It was like 1983. Yeah. I mean, you were smoking, too. it's fine. So,

can I ask a question? Yeah. Why is her dad at the hospital? Uh-huh. Okay. She takes his keys and runs away. Can I ask another question? What does Dan need surgery on?

Oh, his neck's all bloody. Yeah, a bloody neck. Okay. You have a bloody neck disease. I don't think you can. I don't think that's a surgical repair. I'm going to surgerize it. I have written here, I am deeply disinterested in the outcome of this movie and Alice's

sexual. awakening or whatever is happening right now because she's just like looking in the mirror and like gyrating a little bit she's like tough and strong yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just not interesting and she goes fucking a which is something that her brother said i think me a debby who can say maybe debby i don't know um i also have a note that's like what's time got to do with there's like some time elements some clock element that's involved in this i don't know yeah unclear And Dan's like, I don't want gas while you're doing surgery. I want to stay awake during surgery.

What surgery? Alice has taken some no-dose. Freddie is the doctor, and he says, well, it isn't Dr. Seuss. All right. It's like there's other doctors, Freddy. Then the real doctors are like, he's hemorrhaging, bring him out of it, hurry. First of all, I don't, is that how medicine works? Yeah, yeah.

Can you just like? You never surgery? no i don't can you just bring someone out of anesthesia i think it has to wear off no you there's there's drugs they can give you to bring you back out of anesthesia for sure really yeah yeah yeah yeah what a fun ride yeah exactly how do i get these drugs i mean i think that's what killed michael jackson really uh no i think he was just taking anesthesia like recreationally is what killed i want to be recreationally anesthetized alan i really do i can't be awake for this anymore oh buddy oh man um so alice jumps through her own mirror

yeah there's like and it goes through like a stained glass window into a church kind of and dan jordan is with her but then he fades away because they wake him up yes um and there's yes because they're walking together and freddie puts him in a fun house tunnel that starts spinning um and yes he's hammered and they take him back out. She could do flips and shit. Yeah, she's a sick gymnast since when. Like, which of her friends was a sick gymnast?

I don't know. Kincaid? No, no, Kincaid wasn't her friend. No. It would have to be Debbie, Sheila, Kristen, or her brother. I feel like the little nerd lady could be a good gymnast. She's got like the like Simone Biles, like height thing going on. Yeah, she's pretty little.

Friddy doesn't care about being kicks. He just laughs. She kicks him and he calls her a bitch. I was like, oh, our first bitch from Freddie. I've been guarding my gait a long time, bitch. What gate? Who's gate? What gate?

I don't know. She has their power. He has their souls. Why? I have checked the timestamp like every 30 seconds. She hits him with the bugzapper that the nerd girl made. She sticks it into the wiring of the building, which works to cut through Freddie here in the dream world. And his heart is beating from like where one's liver would be.

Uh-huh. Okay. And then he says, I'm a turtle. No, he says, I'm eternal. Eternal. Not a turtle. Not a turtle. Freddie also hates to look in the mirror.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because if you show him his reflection. What? His, uh, Lenny Quigley's titty's come out of his chest. Why, though? He's, he's one of the most self-aggrandizing people I've ever met. He loved, Freddie feels himself.

He loves himself. And he's very, I want to be really clear about this. He's very authentic. himself. I want to go and explore a little bit more people I have met. You know, in my coming's and goings. Oh my God. So he, she hits him with the mirror and he's like, oh, motherfucker. And then like, I love the effect of the arms shooting out of it. A little baby arms. Yeah. And like holding him down with arms that are from his own body. Making him slash himself. And then we get Linnea Quigley's titties on his chest. Thank you.

Wait, wait, wait for it. Listen to that resonance. Oh, that resonance. Wait, wait. It's not done. It's done. It's been done for me for like 30 seconds. Yeah, well, I'm closer to it and 10 years younger.

You can hear the tones I can hear. The titty's having baby arms doesn't feel right. Yeah. Okay. To each their own, my man. Thankfully, not my thing. No. Oh, what if it was?

Oh, no. The children's whose souls are being released from Freddie's body are saying, thank you, Alice. Freedom. Woo! Goodbye. Philadelphia, freedom. That's not rules. Wow, even though it's about Philadelphia.

Yeah. I don't, I hate Philadelphia. I was going to say, you've said disparaging. I was watching a Phillies game at a bar with some friends from Philly last weekend, and I found myself rooting for the Philly. because they were rooting for the Phillies, and then I felt like shit. But I couldn't root for the Dodgers. You got to believe.

I don't. If Tug McGraw told us anything, please. Yes, I know who Eli Manning is, you dumb dummy. Freddy's a smoking heap of clothing. Uh-huh. Why, though?

What does she said to his smoking heap of clothing? Rest in hell. Rest in hell. That common phrase that we all say all the time. We say rest in piss, Alice. Get it right. She walks out and now she's at a fountain with Dan Jordan. Uh-huh.

Holding hands. Uh-huh. She says something about, like, more reasons to stay awake now. Yeah. Because they're fucking. Yeah, so I can get finger blasted. Yeah. Everybody wants to get fingered.

Yeah. And then she sees Freddy's reflection in the water. Yeah. But then he's gone. Yeah. Nope, he's never gone. He's never gone. He's legally not allowed to stop.

He's never fucking gone. Katie. Alan. Will you do me a quick favor? What? Will you rate Freddy 4? Well, why don't we just call these movies Freddy? Freddy 4.

Friday 4 and Friday the 13th should just be Jason. Jason, yeah. Just make it easy for us fucking morons. Halloween can say Halloween. We all know what that is. No, we get that one word. It's only one word. I hated it.

I hated it. I hated it, but it's a real drop-off from Dream Warriors. Yes, but a high- high before I dive into Dreamchild. I mean, I recall Dream Child having some really disturbing shit about like his mother being raped by a hundred inmates or something like that. Yeah, if not a thousand. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's too many inmates. It's just too many to have in one building. It's just too many. You can't. Logistically. What are we doing here? How many wings do you have in this building?

This is a three. Oh, strong. Yeah, I would also say three. What you liked it? But I liked it. I'm moving out. I'm getting my own place. Can't do this anymore.

I mean, I believe, like, straight at the, what was it, episode four of the podcast that we did, Nightmarendh, and I was like, you know, Freddy's like a second tier. You did say that. Yeah. I remember thinking, boy, that's snobby. Yeah, of course. And I still kind of feel that way. I still feel like he's like, but he's like, he's also top tier.

Like, I have to admit that he's also, like, A number one, like, S-T or Freddie. Yeah. But I did. I enjoyed it. I thought it was fun. I wasn't mad at it. I was expecting it to be trash.

Yeah. Because two's not great. I don't remember. Have we done two? Two was the like really queer-coated one. The really queer-coated one. Where Freddy comes out of the kid's chest at one point. Oh, I remember talking about this, but I can't really remember the movie.

And three is Dream Warrior, of course. Of course. Docin is on the soundtrack. That's a good one. a good one. I think we liked it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very much, it's more atmospheric than this one is. Uh, yeah. And that vein thing, I'll never

get over the marionette. Yeah, exactly. I, oh, yes, I remember how queer this is. How, yeah. But, uh, yeah, I mean, it's, it's like you could do worse than the Freddyverse. I mean, having watched 55 minutes of Freddy versus Jason, this is better than Freddy versus Jason.

I don't remember. Yeah, I know. Look, you can't blame me for not remember. That's my fucking job is to not remember things. Katie, speaking of our jobs, we got a gift in the mail.

This is from, this is from our friend Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Sarah says, hey, Katie and Alan, exclamation point. Hi, Sarah, exclamation point. I'm sorry, I didn't regale you like that. You deserve it.

You're queen. You had a lot of exclaim in your voice. I did. Just a few things for you to try to say thank you for the years of laughs. I would like it from now on instead of laughs, say service. Service.

Thank you for your service. Yeah, thank you for my service. I enlisted in Werewolf Ambulance and I put in fucking 11 years this month. 11 years this month, baby. 11 years. If Kiss can have an army, why can't we? Why can't we?

Sorry for the miniature bags, but if I tried to send you full-sized bags, I'd need a much bigger box. Oh, you sweet baby. Gonna be honest with you guys, parenthetical Alan. Not sure what is vegetarian and what is not. I just picked a good selection of typically

Aussie snacks. Hope you enjoy, smiley face, love from down under, Sarah. Sarah, thank you for shipping us food from Australia. This is a box. What's in it? Is, I'm going to say, two foot by a foot and a half. Yeah, I'd say, 24 by 18. Maybe four inches deep.

That's a solid five. And it is chaka block with snacks. Thank you. You got Twisties cheese? Oh my God. You got cheesels. Oh, I'm going to give some of these to pie. She's going to love this.

She's been homesick. You got sweet sour, sweet chili and sour cream, deli-style potato chips. Wow. You got honey soy, definitely just chicken. Chicken? It's chicken in a bag. What do you guys do you go down there? Oh, buddies.

There are a snack called Shapes. There are Nestle peppermint crisps. Fantastic. There is the caramel. koala. Ooh. Reese's white. Oh.

Oh. What's that? What is the fuck is that? Is that Tim Tim. This might not make it's a pie. Because there's Tim Tams. You can have those. There's a second thing at Tim Tams.

Sarah, you fucking queen. Thank you. There is a much larger bag of a burger rings, which I assume have actual burgers in the bag. Big burger taste. It says big burger taste. What are you Fulios doing? There is this. the natural confectionery company party mix.

Party mix. Could be anything. This is... In America, party mixes for cats. There is a candy bar called chomp. Chomp. Which seems to have the plant from Little Shop of Horrors on it. That's on the floor now.

Like an asshole. It's because the bag is, the box is so cool. Chakito. There's so much stuff in here. Thank you. God. This must have cost you a fortune. Thank you so much. This came from the other.

side of the goddamn globe. It came from tomorrow. It came from wintertime or spring? Who knows? What are you guys doing down there? Spring, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Sarah, thank you so much. We have another package to open next week. So get ready for that. We have more mailbag. I think we have more stuff that I have to go pick up from the mail. What are you doing sending us all this shit? You're fucking beautiful human beings. Keeping me chunky. Tell you what. It's all these timetams. Curly whirlies and all this shit. You guys said it's so good. So fucking delicious.

So fucking good. I shared mine with Perry. And so were the little the pastilles. They were really good too. Yeah, Lucy ate all those. God damn it, Lucy. I love you.

I'm sorry I didn't bring in the muffin she made for you. I feel so bad. Y'all, if you ever get a text message from one of your best friends on the face of the earth and it says my daughter made muffins and she wanted me to bring you one because you

always give her treats and your heart doesn't melt, you're not a human being anymore. Oh, I'm so happy. The muffins are eh. It's the first thing she ever made on her own. I'm going to love them. No, you're not. You know better. I would love to hang out with Lucy and bake with her. Yeah, you should. So, Katie. What? Let's do this again next week. What should we do? It's spooky season. It is spooky season. We're going to do a movie that was suggested to us by listeners. What is it? This is the boys from County Hell. It's an Irish film. So you got to tamp it down.

I have to tamp it down or I have to let it rage One or the other Despite all my rage I'm still anti-Irish for some reason It's not for some reason And there is still just a rat in my brain So come back next week for boys from county hell It's on the shutter

Go back to the shutter app If you want to support us monetarily You can do that at patreon.com back slash wharrowf Ambulance where we review action movies every month. This month is Beastmaster, which we're going to be recording next week, so that'll be out shortly thereafter. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And we've, if you want to go to T. Public, search Werewolf Ambulance. You could buy some of our amazing t-shirts, all designed by one Justin Gray. Inimittable. Inimitable. Check us out tomorrow on God-Offle movies.

We'll be talking Conjuring Last Rites with our buds over there. Always a good time. I'm going to be watching it tomorrow. You're going to watch it tomorrow morning? I'm going to watch it tomorrow morning before we record. That's a hard Katie move right there. I wanted to be as fresh as seemingly possible when we go into this episode.

Ask me when I watch Nightmar on Elm Street 4. When did you watch it, never on. This morning. Yeah, of course she did. But I hit like 4 a.m. I kind to get up and do my things. Listen, I'll just be kind to each other. Be kind to yourselves.

Yeah. We love you. It's not Kundi to take what you need. So say it's the Lambriini girls. Sorry, like Dean Kandi, the, um, cinematographer for the thing and a lot of carpenter films yeah i feel like i made fun of you early in this podcast for talking about dean cundy here i am why wouldn't you here i am my life is over i think your life was over when you're like you know what i don't mind gialo films

yeah you're right my shit just went straight down the shitter any potential of like having a team be like you know what she's pretty cool yeah we just have to give up on that sometimes i'm done uh thanks for listening to another episode bye bye bye Give mews. Killer clouds and land the face. Killing in outer space.

Appearance a gas in case. Please make eye in your grave. E&T. Morrow and comedy refuse hungry, Brian from Waves and Stephen King. E. E&T. We live deliciously bed temperate trees obese. Gracely gone to daddy.

A paranormal lactanties from Mr. Rogers City, EMT, EMT. EMT.