Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 537 - Boys from County Hell (2020)

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

In this week's episode, we're digging into some Irish vampire lore with the 2020 horror comedy "Boys from County Hell." Special topics for your consideration include: rude Canadians, being fun instead of knowing things: Irish sports edition,  appearing in half of the things on Britbox, and some real melancholy shit. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. This month is Beastmaster month! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Katie Chish Kee Katie Allen 90 fucking minutes In and out Less than

You love to see it You do love to see it You do love to see it. You love to see the boys from County Hill. Boys of County Hill. The boys. Boys of County Hill. From country, heck.

So the Irish, huh? Yeah, fucking John Lynch is in this. Very excited for John Lynch. I was like, I know you from everything that's ever been on Britbox ever. Yes. Yeah. He's in the fall. He's in blue lights.

He's in... That one where the neighbor, he kills all the neighbor kids. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you like that one? I did like that one, too. I didn't suspect it was him. Spoilers for that one, whatever it is. John Lynch.

Dudes who have like aged into being very handsome. His thing is that his hair is gray, but his eyebrows are still perfectly black. Yeah, but his beard is also like salt and pepper. Yeah, he's working it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's nailing it. He's doing great. So strong Irish jeans.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to say anything racist in this entire. episode. Mark my words. Katie got a heavy dose of anti-Italian sentiment in the most recent episode we did of God-awful movies. And I will say, it felt bad. Do you have anything you'd like to say to our Italian listeners? Or our Irish listeners?

Fuck off. No, yins are great. It's fine. I'm sorry. Hey, I did my apology world tour. I sent my emails. it took me like a week longer than I anticipated that's all come on I got to catch up again probably I have to look through our iTunes reviews and see who hates me this week oh you can't take that

burden on Katie oh god no so we open on a couple watching the TV to an older older folks yeah and she wants to go to the stoker she wants to go to the stoker a pub called the stoker how often would I be in that pub you would live there yeah live above it yeah yeah yeah and the husband doesn't want to go because the stoker's always filled with degenerates. Also, there is a horror-themed bar in Pittsburgh, and I don't think you ever go there. Jackal and Hyde? I've been there, but you know, I've been there, but you know, hang there. No, it's not the same as Stoker.

No, I guess not. I like Jack on Hyde, though. Do you? Yeah, I do. Cheap ears and, like, regular people. And, like, a giant statue of Michael Myers. Yeah, I had, like, some gargoyles. Some gargoyles.

Some gargoyles. Gogoyles. Gorgoyles. I do love calling people degenerates. Oh my God, yes. Yes. Um, so while they're talking, she gets a nosebleed. Yeah. And then what happens to the good to the dude? Blood starts pouring from his eyes. Pouring. Pouring. And they don't seem to be in pain. They're like, what is? Like, there's blood pouring from under their chairs, but you're like, is it even there blood? I assume it was coming under the holes. On the beholes.

The holes. Oh, no. Yeah. Because then the blood is pouring out into the street. Right. Do you think I like the idea of a vampire that could suck an entire town dry. That's pretty cool. And the door opens and she screams. Yeah. Who is it? We don't know yet. And then two months

earlier. We start back in time. Just a ram's head on a carring in the moors. Although they say they're not Moors, so I don't know what they are. No, they're just fields. Okay. Areas.

Okay, well, I like the shitty Canadian couple believed they were Moors. You want it to do. be you want you you want the pub to be the uh what is that the slaughtered lamb uh from uh from from uh american werewolf yep um yeah because it's it kind of has that vibe in the beginning so they we we're these these canadians want to go take a look at the cairns and we learn that the ogy dracula legend was an irish legend yeah and this is real oh yeah this is like there's some like supposed of theories that the

the Abhartok is what inspired him to inspired Bram Stoker. Yeah, because he is Irish. Oh, I thought that was a joke. No, no, no, no. I mean, the Irish aren't known

for their creative output. Name me one great Irish artist. Not a musical artist, a fine artist. James Joyce. No, a fine artist, like art, like paintings, sculpting. Name one. Oh, sorry.

I thought you just meant all of the arts. No, I think that was a... I mean, James Joyce is a good answer. I don't know of the fine arts. No, because there aren't any. Name one. Such hyper-specific parameters. You're like Chenet O'Connor, okay?

I was going to go with Seamus Haney next. A great poet from Ireland. Seamus, the W.W.E. Superstar. He's so pale. He could see his veins. He's great, though. I don't know. I just like that they're all just covered in self-tanner.

And he's like, fuck you, I'm Irish. I respect that. Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they take them out to, they take the Canadians out to the cairn.

And they're drinking the entire time. They're taking the Canadians out there. The Canadians are being shitty. Yeah. Or at least the husband is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, just lean down and listen to the stones and you'll hear some noises. And I feel like this is a, when I was younger, um, there was a, uh,

a mausoleum in a cemetery in like downtown Newark and like we would tell people that like if you go up you can hear it ticking it's the ticking it's the ticking tomb yeah and uh when you would go when they would go up to it it had big metal doors you'd throw a penny against the door as soon as they got near to it to scare the shit out of people i love that i love that regional ghostism yeah yeah so um this is our two our two male protagonists yes we've got william and And Eugene. Eugene. Yeah.

And William is dating Orla from Dairy Girls. Yes. Yeah. Missy was very excited that there was a Dairy Girls alone in this. Love Dairy Girls. I need to watch it. I have not watched it. You have not.

No. It will tickle every part of you. I'm sure. You'll love it. You really will. And it takes place during the troubles. During the Troubles. Yeah.

There's a lot of cranberries in it. You'll like it. Oh, I do love the cranberries. I know. So they get scared by S.P. who jumps up from behind the cairn with a wear wolf glove on to touch as the Canadian. Also, Lady Canada says that Dracula is the greatest horror novel of all time, and I take offense to that.

A lot of people hate it. Frankenstein is a much better novel. I like them both quite a bit. I read them both this time of year. Although I am currently listening to Paul Giamatti read something wicked this way comes. And if you don't think I fucking love that, you're jerking into that. I bet you are loving that.

It's so good. He has so much gravitas. Yes. And he's just like, he's a big horror nerd. Yeah. So he's like eating this up. Something wicked this way comes is the, uh, the carnival comes to town. It's, um, Ray Bradbury.

Yeah. Yeah. It is probably my favorite book. Okay. Of all time. I love it so much. He's got a great way with language. Just Ray Bradbury.

He does. There's this one scene where, um, Father and son are talking, and the son says, are you a good man to his father, basically? And the son's like, I don't, or the father says, I don't know because I know myself too well. And that hits me to my fucking core. Oh, fuck that.

Yeah. It's so good. It's so good. See, will you say stuff like that to me? What's that? It makes me think about how I can never see my own face. It's that kind of thing to me. I have read that book, but I don't remember that line. Maybe I should reread it.

Or maybe I'll just listen to Paul Giamati read it. Yeah, yeah. it's on the uh it's on the spotify i love that um i yeah i mean it just he has a beautiful way with language and like a beautiful way of writing about childhood yeah really really yeah very good um anyway frankenstein's the best frankest frankest's fucking fantastic frankest no one's gonna argue with you i love dracula well this movie is arguing with me lady canada well i mean it's a movie about vampires oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's not about frankenstimes these two are way more mad than i would be if locals tricked me like this. I'd be like, I'd be terrified and then I'd be like,

now you have to give me those beers back. I'd be like, this is actually my fault. You're right. Yeah. I'd be like, give me one now and we shall drink it together and laugh about what a fool I am. Canadians? Do better. Katie, they're movie Canadians. These aren't real Canadians. No, you know how I feel about Canadians. It's my new. No, I don't care. I don't care. A wit for Canadians. You're fine. Listen, Micronesia. I got some issues. You fucking bastards. So we learn about the new bypass that's going to be built, which will is being built

by Eugene's father's company. Yeah. And we'll essentially kick the friend off his land. And take out the cairns. Take out the cairns. Yeah. Dude gets woken up by his dad. He's hung over.

His dad is like a dick to him. Yeah. His dad's a dick through the entire movie. Yeah. He does not have a redemption art. Nope. they're at odds with each other and then we immediately move on to him

repairing a wall or something. It seems like he's living in the house where that his mother had passed down to him. Right. And his dad has another place that he lives in. Right. And they haven't really spoken since his mother passed away. Well, they haven't spoken about her anyway.

Right. Right. He finds this like dented skull down in a, I don't know, an old pit. What is this? What's happening here? the barn basement? I don't know. Yeah, I didn't think you dug under a barn. But I guess you, I mean, I'm not a barn person. I wouldn't know. Yeah, no. I don't know. I'm not big, no, I've been in barns, but like. We played a show in a barn, remember. Yeah, I do remember that. You opened for me,

or I opened for you. I opened for you. I don't remember, but I know as soon as we hit the last note of the last song, it started raining. Yeah, that was fun. Yeah. Yeah, it was a good show. Also, I kept getting electrocuted by my bass amp at that show. Because there is faulty wiring in the head that I just never got repaired and my feet were wet. He'll repairs things. Every time I touched my strings, it would kind of zap me. That's just the magic of playing music. Just the magic of playing music in a barn and Evan City, Pennsylvania.

Yeah. Home of Night of the Living Dead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think I opened for you. I don't remember. I did.

I'm telling you. I did. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. Okay. All right. How long ago was that, by the way?

15 years ago? More than that. Yeah. Yeah. oh eight maybe oh nine yeah what band was i in was i in yukia or the max you're in yukia so it would have been like 2009 yeah yeah yeah he finds the human skull uh he makes plans with his pal to meet up at the stoker later they he misses the game he has missed to the match where william has scored 15 points i thought what is the sport yeah once it never brings up what the sport is i'm sure if

you're irish you just know darts i don't know yeah i don't our scores that high in rugby? Yeah. Okay. I don't know much about rugby. I watched one of the state of origin this year. I don't know what that is. It's, uh, I want to say Melbourne versus Brisbane, but that's not even right.

Okay. I don't know what it is. All I know about rugby is that YouTube will be like, hey, would you like to see these female rugby players doing weird things? And I'm like, no, not really. Thank you, though, YouTube. I feel like that's right up here now, like female rugby players doing weird things. Hey, I probably looked at a couple.

I mean, you look at one, you've seen them all. So someone approaches him while he's in the shower. It's his dad. It's his dad, because he's showering at his dad's house. And he lies to his dad about just going to the bar for one beer. And about playing in the game. Yes, I like that he's like, his dad's like, don't get too messed up tonight. We have mass in the morning.

And he's like, I'm just going for one. And then it cuts immediately to him and SP being like, blah. So here's what. where he learns that his friend William is going to Australia. Yes. Yeah. But that William hasn't told Claire. Yeah.

Which is pretty shitty. His girlfriend. Yeah. And he's like, if you don't tell Claire, I'm going to. Yeah. Which I think is a good move. Sure. Yeah.

It's pretty dick. It's dick to be planning a move to Australia and not telling your significant other. But as we learn later, Claire already knew. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, not great. Can you just go to Australia if you're Irish and get a regular people job? Because he's like, oh, they build houses and roads there. Like, I don't know. I can't just... Commonwealth thing. That's what I'm asking.

Like, I can't just go to Australia. They don't want me. Because I know that like, United Kingdom to Canada is pretty easy to do relatively. Yeah, I know some people from the United Kingdom that live in Canada. Interesting. And then I think... Yeah, I think coming from Australia is pretty easy to Canada, too. So I think there might be, like, a thing.

It's all those people with ducks on their money. Or queens. Queens and ducks, yeah. They have ducks on their money? Loons, I think. Oh, yeah, the loony and the toony. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry.

Lones ain't ducks. Close enough. So William gets, like, wild and just straight punches him. It knocks his ass out. Yeah. Why? Because they're going across the field. Yeah. And like this is just like William's thing. He just like sometimes goes off after he's been drinking.

He's like this again every time you get drunk, mate. But he's like violently beating him. I would not be friends with this man. No, no. Don't, don't whip your friend's asses when you get drunk. No. Don't whip anyone's asses when you're drunk. It's not worth it. No. As a general rule. As a person who has gotten their ass whipped him any time so I'll drunk, please stop doing it. I always just fought things like chimneys and automobiles.

You know you're not going to win. Oh, I didn't know that at the time. I did have someone tell me once that they thought I was going to beat a car. I was punching. Wow, really? Yeah, because I was going to ham. That close. Yeah.

Well, lost in the end. Was it a judge's decision? After this many rounds. In this corner, a drunken, fucking moron. And this is going on a Dodge Charger. I think of the big grillo, just knocking it right in the teeth. Right in the fucking teeth.

Oh, man. So, uh, he knocks him down. They're, they're, they're, they're leaning against the cairn. And, uh, um, he gets cut on the sharp stones. That's right. And the, and then the, we've heard of this errant bull. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Which charges him and rams him into the car. Yeah. Yeah, we hear John Lynch yelling, watch out. What, why does this have to happen? And then John Lynch shoots the bull. Yeah. Yeah, he does.

And we see Eugene see all of the blood absorb into the ground. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? It is, but he's a little overwhelmed by the fact that his best friend. Sure, sure. So, yeah, now there's going to be a funeral. Things are very uncomfortable. There's a whole thing about this being his fault, but I don't understand how even he, how it could even be perceived. is his fault.

I think people are just pissed because they're getting knocked off their land. That it's going ahead even though. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. So they have the funeral, it's uncomfortable, and then we're off to the pub. Like, mom is just like catatonic. Williams' mom is like catatonic.

Yes. She's in some British crime show, too. Oh, of course she is. I can't remember what. Yeah. And Eugene has taken this sort of like sellout job with his dad. Yeah. that kicks

Williams' family off the land and takes out the cairn. Yeah, and then he gets kicked out of the pub for having taken that job. Right. It's okay, though, because Claire can drive construction equipment. Yeah.

So we're doing bypass prep. Bypass prep now. Yeah. And George's dad and Eugene are meeting at the cairn tells him not to toss the cairn, which he immediately does. Does he tell them not to?

Yeah. He tells them not to toss it. Okay. Oh, that's right. He says you're not fucking cut out for all this. Yeah. Which doesn't mean anything to us at the time. Nope.

It does not. It does not. He tosses it and then heads home. They're listening to like country music while wrecking it? Yeah. Why wouldn't you be? And now we're told that he's going to Australia. Yeah.

He's decided he's going to fulfill William's goal of going to Australia. Right. And then I don't know if someone that says, of this, or if I just thought everyone has a sad story in this town? Yeah, well, this is the conversation between him and Claire, where he's talking about his mother's death and how his father doesn't talk about it. And she's like, did you ever find out? And he's like, what if she meant to do it?

Yeah. And but the answer is no, that they never found out. So his mom is dead and her dad is dead and their best friend is dead. So I guess that's just like rural Irish living? You live in a rural Irish town? Get in touch. Did people die this much? I'm sure.

I guess. But this is all very melancholy. This is a very funny movie and like a bit gory and fun. And then there are moments that are so fucking morose that I want to die. That's a good dichotomy. I guess. It's a duality of man. I don't need the duality of man in a horror movie.

Just give me grabbers. That's all. Give me grabbers. Oh, fantastic. film. I need to rewatch that in a sober state. Yeah. Or counterpoint. Let's drink Plum cordial again and I'll wake up with the world's worst fucking migraine again. So he goes to the work site where this dude is working like security at the work site and pays him with a bottle of whiskey. Yeah, he hires a town drunk to basically be a night watchman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we see

someone walking around behind him. It's a little spooky. I just, spoiler alert, fucking love the look of the vampire in this. Yes. Because he looks like a bog body. Oh, like the bog people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot about the bog people. He's got that same color of skin and then

like the red hair that's all covered in mud. And he's like very thin and wiry. And got very bad orthodontia. Yeah. Yeah. So we see like a slash and then there's blood on the office wall. Yeah. Yeah. The next morning, back at the site, that the cairn is perfectly rebuilt.

Yeah, with the skull on top of it and everything. Yeah, who did that? Who did that? Oh, the vampire. Did he? Yeah. Why did he do it? Yeah, because that's his cairn.

It's my stuff. Leave it alone. Yeah, but it was what was holding him down all these years. Yeah, I don't exactly get why this happened, but I do like that. Sure. It's spooky as heck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he calls for Charlie.

Charlie's not around. We see him marking a map, which doesn't seem right, because he's not a map boy no no he's a dummy does have map vibes no he does not have map vibes dad is pissed at the caron is back and then charlie shows up really sounding like shit and all covered in blood he looks terrible take him to the er that's what he's doing yeah when charlie attacks eugene he as soon as he gets in the van he bites at him yeah and then eugene drives the van into another piece of equipment yeah and his dad hits him his dad's not very nice no but then the lamps go out on the work site.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And Charlie attacks again. Charlie has gone full-on at this point. Yeah. So Claire just starts beating him with a shovel. And all this time, there has been a, like, fourth person, Gabriel, I think. Yeah, he also works there.

Yes, but he's just there to get snatched by Charlie. Right. We see him only in the scene where he says he's not taking down the cairn. Yeah. He's not going to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And now he's dead. Now he's dead.

And Claire takes a pole. and impales Charlie with it. Impails him through the heart and the heart is like on the end of the pole and his body goes to the middle of the pool and it is very, very, very good. I like this so much. Then what happens?

He comes walking out with the pole impaled in him and the dad says is that my new pole? Dad, always a dick. Always a dick. And he's like spinning Charlie, he extends the pole to get Charlie further away from him

and then starts spitting him around in a circle. His heart falls off as they spin and then they just toss him into a shallow pit. yeah but then the greatest fucking thing comes or happens what's that charlie pulls himself out of the pit on the pole just staring at them well he's like not standing up just pulling himself up like batman climbing up the side of a building in a fucking 60s television show so good so fucking funny they try throwing the heart in with him it doesn't work they assume he's on cocaine and sps says i took the coke once got into six different scraps and didn't feel a thing

Oh, I'm boring you. So they realize they have to bury Charlie. Barry him and drop stones on him. Yeah, now they make a cairn for Charlie. Which they do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But as they're doing this, another, like, foot pops out of the ground and someone yells, whose foot's that?

Like, someone was going to fess up to being their foot. Yeah, like who farted? A note that says, whose foot is that is very funny. The way it's delivered is just. This movie is so fucking funny. Whose foot is it? It's the vampire. Oh.

Yeah, it's his little bony, scrappy foot. Okay, okay. Because she has taken the rocks off the cairn to put them on. Charlie. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So they run to George's house.

Yeah, his wife is absolutely catatonic. It's so sad. So very, very sad. They steal his car. They're treating this man so terribly. His child has just died. They're stealing his land. Yeah.

And now they've taken his car. It's awful. They were friends before this. He's also got a morgue in the house. Sure, as you do. He's a mortician. Yeah, he sure is. So they take his Jeep.

They find a dead cow. What's the dead cow about? It's a sheep, I think, that's torn open. Oh, is that what it is? But I'm not sure that it, I think it's just the vampire trying some things out. What's this taste like? Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're right, because it just, it looked like a very fluffy cow, but I guess it was a sheep.

Yeah, that's what a sheep is. You know, the little fluffy cows. You know the little fluffy cows that go, ah, ah. So Eugene confronts George after George has pulled a gun on them. Right. Which, of course, he should. Yeah, yeah. You guys are being real dicks to George.

Yeah. And so Eugene wants to know the truth. He says, stay and find out the truth, and you'll never. be the same. Yeah. So he takes him to the good room. I love the idea of a good room. Okay.

That's how in like my childhood, I felt like you could tell if people had wealth, obviously, because you just have a whole other room of your house you don't use. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember my great aunt having a, like, room plastic on all the furniture. Of course. Of course. Because who knew what was going to happen at any given moment?

In the good room. Most comfortable substance you can sit on? Plastic. Prinkly plastic. And then dishes filled with those white mince with like licorice in the center of them. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, good time. So my aunt had a good room.

The furniture wasn't covered in plastic, but if you like set foot in there, she'd be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, you know, even if you were just passing through. What was the room for? Entertaining? They had a dining room, too, that was attached to the good room, but they always just ate at the kitchen table. Yeah. What the fuck is what's it like to have more room? rooms than you need we used to have a dining room in a kitchen table room kitchen they call it

yeah that we knocked down the wall so that was like just a big kitchen dining room area that's nice yeah yeah yeah he's just lived in places that had little kitchens and little dining rooms off of them sure yeah yeah huh what do you know like open concept housing oh disagree you like that like an open floor plan i don't like that i think i like to have my kitchen be private I don't need anybody looking to me while I'm dancing to peaches and cream, like, you know, making toast. I don't need anyone seeing all my dirty dishes stacked up in the sink. I think kitchens should be separate. Keep them safe. Yeah. And what I mean, peaches and green. For the listeners at home, yeah. When Katie started her, I don't like open floor pants, hand went to hip. I'm seated, which is awkward.

You know what really grinds my gears? everybody wants them why then it just smells like cooking smells all over the house at least the walls keep them in a little dude you have come into my house so many times i have a bunch of walls yeah and you're like oh you cook it in here i don't say it like that you say what you're making it's cooking in here yeah what she's making in here perry walked in my house and said this reminds me a punk house and it smells like garlic perry says what perry likes so yes the good room What's going on in the good room? First of all, I want to say that the hallway to the good room is very lovely.

Yeah, nice wallpaper. Wallpaper and the just like the trim. It's just like a very interesting looking set. And then it goes to a wax museum set. It's a wax museum set in there as far as I can tell. Because there are bars on the door and then red lighting with like 15 watt bulbs. Yes. And it's William in there.

Yeah, and he's a zonbo or something. Yeah. Vampire, I guess. He's a vampire. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We cut to two people we've not yet seen before. Neck brace and triangle hair.

Not that that's a bad thing. Big brace and triangle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are kids just sitting on the ground. Very briefly in the film. Yeah. He says that his stitches just popped. And then he starts bleeding out of his stitch hole.

Yeah. And she's like, oh, did they? And then she starts bleeding out of her face. And then I think we see the vampire. Yeah. Yeah. And their blood's going down into the sewers or something. He's taken on the town.

We know he's loose. He's loose on the town now. But just the idea of a vampire cause they can just walk down the street and suck your blood out of your fucking house without even going into your home. Right, doesn't even need an invitation. He's doing it from here.

Yeah. Fucking bog body. Boba tea. Yeah. Boba tea. Don't you not like Boba? I like Boba. Okay.

Some reason I thought you didn't like Boba. He didn't like little pearls. No, I like tapioca. Yeah, love it. You know what I really like that I haven't had in ages and I don't know if they still give it out is like sometimes if you get Tigour May They give me a tapioca with the corn.

With the corn. Sweet corn. Yeah. So good. Do you still give that to you? Once in a blue moon we get it and it's very exciting. Can you buy it from them? I don't know.

I feel like it's the iced tea trams. Yeah. It's just sometimes it's there. Sometimes it's not. Sometimes you get on your table and you're like, I did good today. Thank you. It's my special day. Yeah.

Missy and I will occasionally just make like tapioca pudding. I fucking love tapioca. I don't know why you're saying. I don't know why you're besmirching me. What about what? No. Oh, for some reason I thought you said you didn't like boba. No.

Forgive me. I can't. Must be my other podcast, buddy. It's probably Jonathan or Joseph. We get a cut, a flashback to George going to do the burial prep on his son. Yes. He's insisting on doing it himself, but his wife is begging him not to. Jesus Christ, speaking of the brutally sad things that happen in this movie.

And he's like, I don't trust anyone else to do it, which like, yes, I get, but also, like, must have colleagues who would you that you like you know they know this is your son and they're going to do it with the utmost care yeah yeah and just your wife being like please please please don't cut him open in in this room yeah he's and you're just being like I gotta it's listen I'm on the man around here yeah but he sits he doesn't get the chance because William just sits up mm-hmm mm-hmm so people get turned by the stones apparently yes which is very interesting that to be be able to be, like, cut by a stone and not have to be bitten. Yeah.

Because we see that it was George who attacked Charlie. Dick move. What are you going to do? But he infected Charlie in order to basically shut down the project, to stop the road, to save the stones. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you could turn someone into a vampire to make sure your home to get torn down,

you'd do it, right? Katie. you turn them into a man park someone's buying the house for me like i'm going to get money for it not just taking it yeah but it's your land i don't i don't have any land i live in the city so they can't figure out how to kill these these draculas so someone's like are there any ideas in there and they open a copy of dracula like a signed copy of dracula yeah bram stoker's autograph did he autograph that i don't know i would imagine it was pretty popular yeah but was that autographing books thing back then?

I don't know. Doesn't it feel like a modern conceit? It does. But I feel like there's like Agatha Christie autographs on stuff. What's the time difference between Agatha Christie and Bram Stoker? 40, 50 years?

Yeah, it's pretty close. Yeah. Culturally, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Did I ever tell you about the time that I got to go to a museum in Philly that had Bram Stoker's notes? No. From writing Dracula and they were like written on napkins and stuff.

Oh, that's so cool. Yeah, it was really neat. It was really cool. I mean, I like the book. I just think Frankenstein's better. Sure. Sure. I'm not arguing that, but like a lot of people hate on Dracula that bums me out.

Oh, I don't think that's right either. I think Dracula, like, I really like the way it's written in that, like, basically diary entry. I forget the name of that style of writing is, but yeah, I think it's really interesting. And fun. And it gave you that movie or Monica Balucci, but to get out a reason to take. I'm not going there. I'm not doing this with you right now. What they come up with, ultimately, is decapitation.

And this is Francie, the Eugene's dad's idea. He says he's not likely to grow another fucking head. George is just standing there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they fortify the house. Yes. And Eugene lets William out.

Yeah, there's like a whole setup of like having to him chase him down the hallway. Yes, but he won't come into the room. He's waiting in the room because, uh, is it George that's standing there to, no, who's standing there to hack his head? off. Is it S.P? I can't remember. I think George is going to cut his head off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he won't come in the room. I think Claire has to lure him in. Right, because dad's going to shoot, dad's going to chop his head off, but mom shoots dad before he can kill William. Right. shoots him in like the leg or something. Yeah, and then she's basically like, take me. She's a come to mommy.

Yeah. Come to a mommy. Yes. And then he eats his damn mom after a good old fashioned throat slitting. Yes. Dead mom's club. Dead mom's club. William's a member. And then so George picks up the rifle, tries to kill himself, the gun clicks, and he says, oh, fuck, and his son jumps on him to murder him. Yes. And then we cut to the cop who we've been seeing throughout the movie, and he starts peeing, and then he starts pissing blood. This pissing blood scene is not okay for a comedy movie. Please now. Please now. Which is part of the reason why I think that the blow is coming out of the old people's buttholes. Oh, for sure. Because the blood started coming out of his wiener. Bowls, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you think about it,

Wiener's just a front butthole. I'm worried about you. I'm worried about your anatomy. Cloaca, baby. Just, okay. A cloaca with multiple holes. That's not how it works. Oh, man.

He goes to, William is in the house with the gang. Mm-hmm. And he goes to the cold storage of the basement. I guess so. I can't quite tell what's happening here, Because he's wandering around the morgue. Yeah. Okay.

And SP and Eugene give him the business, start beating the shit out of him. Yeah. They, yes. Oh, right. They decided to force him into a coffin because you're like, why the fuck would there be a coffin? Because it's a mortuary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're, they're, and I thought Eugene had gotten bit.

No. But it's SP that got bit. He got cut on his tummy. Yeah. And his hot dogs are starting to come out. Yeah. And he does this really sad thing of getting a beer sitting down on the couch and being like, I had good enough of a run.

Yeah, he's like 30. Tell me dad, I was right. He always said, I die in front of the telly with a beer in me hand. Like, this is so melancholy for a horror comedy. So bleak. I'm, I'm so sad at this point. And everybody's crying around him. Except for dad, of course, because he's a dick.

He's a dick. Almost everyone is dead. It's true. It's just Claire, Eugene, and Eugene's dad. And they now carry William out. the coffin they've nailed him in. And he's making like a lot of woo, woo, woo, woo, sounds, and I don't like it. So we go to Claire's house?

Okay, so wait. Or her mom's house. They, well, yeah. Well, sorry, go on. They bury him, and then they stack the stones on top of him. And once they get the stones on top, he stops muffled shouting. Yes. Yeah.

But you're right. Then they go to. Oh, wait, they're going through the town, and we see, like, people just dead all over the streets. They're lying on the streets. Yeah, with their blood coming out into the sewer. Oh, it's so bleak. But again, if this is the origin of Dracula, it fits. It makes sense.

You're right. So, yes, then we go to Claire's mom's house and we see that she's sleeping and bleeding out in her bed. Next to her boyfriend. Next to her boyfriend, who Claire is very dismissive of. She's like, I'll come back for you, I think. If I can. And no promises. They realize that you have to be close, when you're close to the vampire, you start bleeding.

Right. Yeah. Right. which is I really love it. So then they have to drive the dumper into town. Yeah, she puts her mom in the dumper. Yeah. Why is that?

Do you think I love calling it as a dumper? I love that. Look at that dumper. That's a big dumper. What a great dumper you've got there. So Eugene and dad finally have their heart to heart about mom. Yes. But they're both like I miss her every day.

Right. Eugene goes in for a hug. And his dad's like, what the house? How hell are you doing? What the fuck's wrong with you? Are you five? And I was like, oh, just let your dad get eaten. I cannot wait.

But then they start bleeding. So his dad punches him in the face and knocks him out. Yeah, Eugene is a glass jaw. Yeah. You can knock his ass out really easy. Yeah. Which is crazy that his friend was beating him up every time he got drunk, which was all the time.

I feel like you'd be tougher. You just wanted to see if he could knock him out. I guess so. Oh, the creature is so good, though, the vampire. I love it. Absolutely. It's always in shadow so you can't get a super good look at it. Yeah, I like that they're shooting it so that you don't, like, see that it's not the highest of budgets.

Right. And it's either, like, kind of in the background blurry or right up in front of the camera. It's really well done. It's masterfully done. And this is a shutter original. Oh, is it? Yeah, which is kind of interesting. Shudder.

Shadair. Never going to give us money, are they? Actually, I should... They haven't given me 12 grand a month. I just haven't been telling you that. I'm so sorry. I'm not doing your taxes. No one is.

Taxes are done. Hey, I don't think it's worth doing. Listen, that's not my real advice. My real advice is, wait till April. See what the world looks like. So... I'm not making any estimated payments, though. I'll tell you what.

So Claire has suggested that maybe they try burning up with the sun because that shows up in a lot of these vampires things. And then he's just standing there and the sun like, what's ah? Which is very funny. Yeah. So dad falls down a hole and hurts his leg real bad. Well, he beheads it first, doesn't he? Oh, that's right. Yeah.

And he's, and he wakes up Eugene. Yes. And he's like, wake up, you're all right. And Eugene's like, did you punch me? And he's like, no, you fell. He's like, it really feels like you punched him. My jaw really hurts. Yeah.

And while this conversation. is happening we see the head crawling back to the body it's so good i love always love that in a horror movie no matter how many times i see it i'm always going to love it very exciting it grabs dad and the axe yeah yeah um and then this is where dad falls down and hurts his leg i think so he's like sort of mushing it with a cart and then he falls down yeah down like the construction shoot oh the construction shoot is i want to ride one of those i think it would be very fun i think you fuck yourself up yeah of course but i think it would also be very fun promise me you won't If you promised me you stop sticking your hand in the garbage disposal.

Well, apparently I already promised that. And apparently my word is not my bond. If Wu-Tang taught us one thing, where is bond? Not mine. I'm going to put, listen, I got to know what's in there. What does he use to stab the vampire with? He rips off his dad's leg. Yes, his dad, his dad's leg is like halfway torn off.

And he pulls it off and stabs the creature with it, just khakis and a boot sticking out. It's very funny. It's so good. And then they just bury him in the dirt. Yeah. And as soon as they do, people start recovering in town. Right. It seems like a long recovery is happening here.

And then they put a belt tourniquet on the dad. And I thought she probably should have done that earlier. I was like, no, no, make the Karen after her. Yeah. Yeah, do this part first. Oh, man. And then three months later. He's finally read Dracula.

Yes. And now Claire's going to Australia. Yeah. And there's kind of like this like, will they, won't they energy with those two? And I was like, your friend just died. Yeah. You guys aren't ready. They don't.

No. No. Maybe when she comes back from Australia in a year, though. Right. Yeah, it could happen. I wrote your ugh, sad dad stuff. Can you film me in on that? Dad's got a peg leg.

Yeah. And he's now helping out around the house. he's been doing stuff around the house to help Eugene get it into up into fighting shape. Yes. And the last note I have is adding more rocks to the cairn because Eugene's taking stuff that dad's pulling out of the house and putting it into the cairn. That's right. That's right.

He found some like old stones from his grandfather, old tiles that his grandfather had put down and he just put some on top of the cairn. And there's something about his, like there was a folklore about someone named Cahan. Yeah, his mom's name was O'Kane. Yeah. And I was like, come on. Well, if you say so, Gaelic. Yeah, he has a family history with taking out vampires.

There you go. Katie. Alan. What did you think of boys from the county that we call hell? I just don't want to get emails about it. It's Boys of County Hell. I just don't want to get emails. Girls from County Spaceballs.

I loved it. It's short, it's sweet, it's to the point, it's funny. It's a little too melancholy for my liking, but I'm a little too melancholy for my liking. for my liking at this point in my life. At this point in the year of this horrible year I'm having, that's where I'm at. So that rubbed me a bit wrong,

but it's not their fault, that's my fault. Yeah. I'm going to give this a nine. I think it's a great, quick, fun Halloween watch. Oh, yeah, yeah, 100% agree. Yeah. With the nine, great Halloween watch. I also, you just reminded me that I wanted to warn you

not to watch Bring Her Back. Okay, what's that? It's a movie by the guys who did talk to me. Oh, I liked that. Um, and spoiler alert at some point watching the movie, I was like, I don't know how many kids I can watch get killed. Oh, no, thank you. Yeah. It's brutal.

Although we did just laugh while recording our Patreon episode about Beastmaster about throwing children into a sacrificial flame. Fuck those kids. I don't know why it's different. I think because one of them is Beastmaster and one of them is a very sad movie. Yeah, I'm out. I'm out of sad. They were like, hmm, Lake Mungo's pretty sad. But, no, I'm out on sad for the rest of the year.

No sad still January. I love it. Great. Speaking of things that'll make you happy. What? Let's get into this box. All right, let's do it. Doot do to do, do.

Oh, shit. What is it? This is not something we'll be able to enjoy right now. It's Jim Henson's monster cereal. What? Why? I've never heard of this in my life. It's just the monster serials, but they look like Jim Henson's.

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, my God. You're right. booberry and frankenberry and count jocula but they look like muppets i believe this is from friend of the pod mark mark thank you because mark sent me a private message said there was something coming and you'll need milk oh i love it thank you mark yeah this is amazing let's have a cereal eating party and we'll have to eat this entire box three bags of cereal you know what honestly cereal

never fills me up i could do it this thing up why i don't eat cereal in general is because I'll just keep going. Sure, especially when they're delicious. I just don't eat them. Mark, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Jim Henson's Muppet series. They're so cute.

Yeah. God, I love Jim Henson. Oh, yeah. Fucking best. Recently, I was wondering if I could show Lucy Labyrinth, and Rob was like, are you fucking kidding me? No. Is Labyrinth scary?

I mean, yes. Sure. It's a baby being kidnapped by David Bowie. Yeah, but David Bowie, like, can see his crank through those tights that he's got on. I think he's got a cue ball in there. I said that and I think there might be a codpiece. I don't think you could actually see his crank.

No, no. It's really round. Yeah. If it is, his dick is... Very round. Unsatisfying. Are you a mom? Get in touch.

Let us know. I'mon. His partner? Oh, I think he said a mom. And I was like, look, a lot of moms like David Bowie, but they haven't all fucked him. no I don't think a mom's going to get in touch probably not probably not or she'll send us a box of cereal who knows thank you mark that's very sweet of you

oh so so so so sweet this is just like a diabetic stream right here this beautiful you want to do another movie next week to continue our season of spooktacular I would love to and let's let's make a very special friend of the podcast very happy this is for you deadhead Dan apparently this is the third year you've requested this movie and you keep bringing up request and that we haven't done it. And frankly, Deadhead, Dan, I was raised with a lot of Catholic guilt. So here we are. Yeah. We're going to do Dark Harvest. Which is a Scarecrow movie. Which is a Scarecrow movie. It's not the Scarecrow movie though, right? No, because I don't think

you've watched that movie in 2023 when this movie came out. The book is very good. Oh, cool. I've heard good things about the movie. I bet it's great. I just want to call the movie Dalk Harvest. Dalk Harvest. You're going to park the car at the Dark Harvest. Is that it? Am I doing it? I don't know, but your mouth is like near your ear right now. I have a very movable jaw. Find us on Patreon. I feel like they're going to be able to hear it clicking when I do this. Can you guys?

Oh, God, yes. That's my favorite. It's my favorite of my maladies. Yes, find us on Patreon. We just recorded an episode for Beast Master. Yeah. It was our sword and sandal month. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Thanks for everyone. been buying t-shirts, we've been selling way, buttloads of, uh, get high and do crimes for Satan t-shirts. It's one of my favorite shirts and I feel like I can never wear it in public. I'm a mom. I'm like walking down the street with my kid, like, oh, fuck. Lucy asked me a question.

She was like, why does the hamburger have such weird teeth? How is he going to eat a hamburger? And I was like, don't worry about it. Okay. Don't worry about it. Just fucking be nice to each other. Eat candy, party hard, be nice. Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party.

When it's time to party, we will always party hard. But I don't know, no, no. God, that record is fucking phenomenal because every song is the same. And they're all good. I love New York City. Oh, yeah. New York City. So weird.

What a weird career. I'm happy for him. Yeah, sure. So dismissive. drummer of cathode. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it was in a punk band. Andrew WK is arguably a punk band.

Sure, sure. It's ridiculous. Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway. Be nice to each other. Be nice to yourselves. And thanks for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambiel. No sads till January.

Okay, guys. Make this pact with me. I will not abide by that. Whatever. I'm just not watching any sad movies. Don't watch it. Bye. Bye-bye.

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