Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 553- Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2012)

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

In this week's episode, we are back to the well of a franchise that we both love and have not visited for way too long. It's the 5th installment in the Paranormal Activity series, "The Marked Ones". Special topics for your consideration include: a bit of cultural confusion, spinsters just trying to live their goddamn lives, why we should really stop skipping movies in the series at random, spinning sign guys, and racks for days. We've covered the first three Paranormal Activity movies, albeit out of order (doi). They are Episodes 83, 296, and 430. Our links page isn't working right now so I can't copy and paste, but you can go to www.patreon.com/werewolfambulance and join us there for about a million action movies, an entire series of the British crime drama "Line of Duty" rewatch, and this month's episode which will be "Police Story 3." Michelle Yeoh forever, baby.

Welcome back to our paranormal activities podcast, werewolf, parandambulance. Paranormal active tities from Mr. Rogers City. Yeah. EMT. I love the ongoing, what are the lyrics to that song debate that's constantly happening. Search the subreddit.

They're in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good, though. Such a great jam. Oh, my God. We inspired that. We did, but also people suspect that it's you. Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's not. It's a real person. Yeah, not that talented. I mean, not that you're not a real person. I'm AI. I don't know if you guys know that. That's so weird because like our episodes from 12 years ago. I was real glitchy back then.

I just looked like a bunch of dogs inside of one dog. Why do you have so many paws? We're back to the paranormal active duties. Active duties? Active duties? Now I, it's like Armagedon. I can't say it correctly. Paranormal activities.

Someone said Armageddon to me recently, and I was like, it's not right. Armagedon. Paranormal activity. Yeah. This is the fifth. The fifth installment, yes. We did not see the fourth. No.

No. I believe we have done one, two, and three, and then this one. Okay. So we'll eventually do it before. Did you know that this was directed by Michael Landon's son? Yes, Christopher Land. Yeah, who is also the director of, like, freaky and happy death day to you. loved Happy Death Day.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's such a good movie. Yeah, I loved Freaky, too. Yeah, Freaky was great. Yeah, this. Did you feel weird that this was written and directed by a white dude? That it was so, like, Hispanic culture. Beamed the white dude who said that this movie was like, it was, it was a cousin.

You might say it was an essay. I read that on Wikipedia this morning. I was like, no. Oh, I thought that was a bit you were doing. No. He called this an essay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no.

Is he, is he, like, cosplaying as a Hispanic name? I don't know. I mean, I assume he grew up in L.A. Sure, for sure. But still, I felt, I was like, oh, I hope this was a Hispanic person who were, nope. You know, like Christopher Landon was Hispanic?

I didn't realize. And then I was like, did Oren Pell? No, he's Israeli. God, that dude has made so much money off of putting out so little money. Yeah, good for it. I mean, that's fucking smart. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The art for this looks so bad. Like just the, when you go to click on it in Roku. Yeah, the Lomorete or whatever. Oh, no, no, I don't remember in Roku. What's the art for it in Rogen? It's just a face with black eyes. Oh, no.

I was thinking of like the, there's like the, the St. Death, like, thing for the poster for it with the triangle in the middle of it. Oh, that could be okay. Yeah, maybe the Roku. Yeah. It's probably fucking Roku. Yeah, I think I watch, where did I watch this? Like, tubi or something, or Pluto TV?

Oh, really? It had ads for sure. Oh, you hate that. Yeah, I do. Yeah. We begin with shaky cam. Sure, found footage. We're letting you know that this footage has been found.

I just don't feel like we need shaky cam for a graduation video, but it's fine. It's fine. And then I yelled, class of 2012. What are you, like, 11? No, they're not. Graduating. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I mean, the classic, you know, we were in Oxnard, California.

I got very excited about being in Oxnard, home with the descendants. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, Nardcore. Nardcore, the Nard. The only thing I know about Oxnard is from Burning Love that there is a character who is from the Nard. And he's always talking about Oxnard. God, what a great fucking show. I need to watch it.

I've never watched it. It's hard to find. Oh, really? It's hard to find. I think I had to torrent it. Yeah. It was just like a web series. I mean, allegedly you had to torrent it. No, I don't know what torrenting is.

Isn't it illegal? I'm just saying allegedly. Wait, no, what is torrenting? Oh, there we go. I see what I'm doing. My first note is how many films can have found footage franchise foster, which I was very excited for all the alliteration in there. I was about to say I am frilled.

I mean, we to this point have enjoyed all of these films, correct? Yes. Yeah. And spoiler alert, also enjoyed this. one. Did you? Yeah, I really did. Okay, there's some real big holes, but okay.

Sure. Yeah, you could drive a fucking truck through some of this movie. Once I found out that it, like, and Christopher Landon had written like three others as well of these movies. Okay. And once I knew that like he had his little stank on it, that Landon stank. That Landon stank. I was like, I get it.

I get it. Because there's like some good fun stuff that happens in this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's a character who just knows everything and you have no idea why. Sure. Okay. I can tell you why when we get to that character. Okay, great, great, great, great.

So our protagonist is Jesse. Yeah, yeah. He is graduating. We see a valedictorian speech, but this is not Jesse. No, this is Oscar. This is Oscar. Who, is he the valedictorian of middle management? I looked him up.

He's 26 in this movie. I mean, Hector also looks like he's got a firm mortgage and he's been paying for a while. Absolutely, but he also has the cutest dimples. He is so cute. And I can say that. because he's an adult. So we get the found footage of the family, their party and they're dancing,

they're all very excited. They're having a Hispanic party. It's just, I like, knowing that a white dude was like, come on. Also knowing that a white dude wrote a review of this film where it's like, uh... Oh boy. This is like taking the franchise and added a little spicy salsa into it.

And I was just like, do we... What? You can't say, pay that. You can only make fun of the Italians. Like, you can't, you can't, okay, go on. Yeah, sometimes the Irish. Some, I mean, often the Irish, really. Yeah.

So we learn through the dancing and the partying in the courtyard of the, of the apartment complex that one of their neighbors has newspaper all over their window. Their weird neighbor, Anna. Yeah, she's a brouha. A brouha. A brouha. Um, which means which. It does mean which.

And they sometimes hear sounds through the vents from her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, we also meet in the scene, the grandma Irma. Yeah. She made me miss Nana so much. She was so great. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, who doesn't want a grandma that's just constantly cooking food and being, and swearing and drinking tequila? Yeah. I, when they were doing shots, I was, I remembered like how Nana used to give me shots when I had cramps, like as a teenager. She called it the hooch. Oh, man. I know.

We didn't really help. So Hector is the best friend. Hector is the best friend. We see him. He has a job of being the spinning sign guy. He's pretty bad at it. He's pretty bad at it. And he's wearing a shirt that says,

I just look illegal, which made me want to cry. The year is 2012. Back when that could be funny. Back when that could be funny. Yeah. There's a spinning sign guy in my neighborhood. I don't know if you've seen this guy outside the Liberty Tax.

I have not. He's been doing this for several years. He's dressed as the Statue of Liberty. Sure. But he also is covered in like, he drapes the Brazilian flag over his shoulders and wears like Kansas City Chief's gear. He's just been doing it for several years. He keeps coming back.

Is he freelance or? I don't know. I don't know. It's my time to shine. It's like I'm like going to miss him now because. His tax season's just about over. He doesn't move on to another thing, like snowboard season? I mean, not in my neighborhood.

I'm sure he does. I mean, I feel like that's a career, but... Sure, sure. Yeah, there's a degree involved. I just have to assume that these people are on so many drugs that they're really enjoying this, like, standing outside, spinning the sign, you know? What they could be seeing at that spinning sign. Incredible.

Trail. Incredible. So, Jesse becomes enamored with this camera that's being filmed, filming everything, and he uses his graduation funds to buy himself a new camera. A GoPro. A GoPro. Go-Pro. Do you remember GoPro?

I do. They still exist. Oh, damn. The people have them on their motorcycle helmets so we can get those, like, dash cam footages of them wrecking that YouTube is constantly trying to show me. Why does YouTube think that's, like, I love that most people are like, God, my YouTube pushes, like, this right-wing content on me, and you're like, yeah, mine's all wrecks. I think it's because Missy watches, like, Missy watches, like,

Missy and our friend Dennis. Oh, big Hall Notes fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge. Trade dash cam footage, accident, like, stuff to go of, like, videos of people getting hurt because it's funny to them. There is a subred that I really like. It's our can't stop.

I'm American. It's just like Americans driving their cars and the things. And then a spinoff of R. Pittsburgh, Yen's hidden buildings. Just pictures of cars that have hit buildings in the Pittsburgh region. Which happens a fucking tongue. because the roads around here are stupid. The roads around here are stupid and houses are very close to them. Yes.

Like on a turn that will just be a house. And also just like everyone somehow drives their car into that Chipotle at the corner of of bomb and millvale. Yeah, you're just trying to get a, you're just thinking about fucking getting one of them rice bowls. Oh, yeah. And you're like, oh man, well, protein. Oh, no. Protein, baby.

God. Men. So there's some gang ne'er-do-wells that see this camera, and they're like, uh-uh, not in my neighborhood, I'm going to steal that camera. Also, you would think these kids would know that. Sure, you know. Sure. Yeah, you live in the city. You know not to flash things people might want.

Or film people doing illegal activity. Sure. That's not a thing you want to do. No, you stay up. of that. Yeah. They do a thing where they put Hector in a shopping cart and he goes down the stairs and he says, I don't even have insurance.

It's like, oh, that's right. Teenage boys are truly subhuman. It's true, though. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, yeah. I used to play on train trestles when I was a teenager. Don't do that. Kids? Don't do that.

Oh, how long can you stay on while the train's going by? Too long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I'll suck you under? Yeah, yeah, I know. This movie really should have been called teen boys are subhuman.

Paranormal activity is five. Teen boys are subhuman. And hi, Marisol. I really like the shirt that he's wearing when he goes out of steps that says power by friholes. I was like, me too, dog. So while they're doing, they're making their stupid, uh, boy, teen boy video. with the new video camera. They hear shouting coming from Anna's apartment.

Yes. This is the brouha. They hear screaming, and then Oscar the valedictorian of middle management comes running out. Yeah. Yeah. And then like jets pass them. Yeah. And then we cut to Grandma Irma pound on huge tequila shots.

She's so lovely. She's such a sweet baby. And then she starts singing to them. Oh, it's really nice. Yeah. I think that's one thing that endures these films to me is like you get these little little slice of life things. Yeah.

Yeah. I agree with you there. I think, you know, for how many fucking movies have we seen and I've forgotten all of them? Sure. But like when Katie shows up at the end of the death, I was like, oh, it's fucking Katie. So like, they're good at making characters you remember. Yeah, yeah. And I think.

And not just because it's my name. I think Hell Health LLC also shares somewhat of that as well. I'll never stop thinking about Paul's song. Yeah. This is the last appearance of Katie Featherston as Katie in the series. This is it. This is the final one. Okay.

Yeah. The market ones is the last one she shows up for. Got it. And she is only herself. Like, she's never, she's not an actor, right? I don't know. Interesting. I'm not going to look it up.

Yeah. Great rack, though. Rack to die for. Is that okay? So we go into Jesse's room. Yes. And they're hearing some thudding. Fucking sounds or screaming and crying, hard to say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mowing through the vent. So they put the GoPro down the vent. Yeah. Yeah. What do they see when they go down the vent? A nudie lady. With also.

Heck of a rack. Yeah. Holy ghost. Rack on that one. Tits for days. You're talking about Anna? Uh, yes. There's a naked woman just standing there.

Yes. And she's standing still, like, zoned out for a while. Mm-hmm. And Hector is just, like, jerking it, basically. I mean, this is the, the things that teenage boys, for hetero teenage boys live for. Sure. And then Anna shows up. Yeah.

And she is also naked. Yeah, and starts painting in blood on the woman's belly. And Hector says he lost his boner forever. Yeah. And once that made me remember that once at a race, a man told Vicky and me that he'd never get a boner again. after he looked at us. What? We were like doing a tough mudder, which is like a long mud race, obstacles and shit.

And people wear costumes. And she and I had like tried, we'd like gone through all of our bins of costumes and couldn't come up with anything. But then we found a pack of tidy, whitey underwear in there. So we just wore them over our clothes. And this guy was like, before we started, he was like, you guys look like my dad. And now I'll never get a boner again. That sounds like a public service.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We kept that man from procreating. I mean, that was like 2013 or something. It's sad that that man hasn't had a boner for 13 years.

I hope he's tossed himself into a wood chipper by now. Oh, what kind of dream? Men. You know what most of our audience is men. I should probably stop. They know what they are. We know. We know what we are.

We know. We all know. If not, I highly recommend following R-slash-girl dinner. so you can learn how women actually see you. It can be a bit of an eye-opener and maybe make you want to change your ways. Nothing makes men want to change their ways. Pardon me. Just kidding.

So they've got the GoPro on the TV so that they can see what's going on or a computer monitor or something. And Irma walks in and sees them looking at a new lady. Yeah. And also, why do men never think that, like, this is why do men never think, if you can hear them, they might be able to hear you. No, because I'm stealthy. Yeah, right. I'm very stealthy.

Right, right, right, right. Then they describe the video to Marisol, instead of just showing it to her. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Poor Marisol. Poor Marisol. Why is she even in this friendship?

It's kind of like implied that she has a thing for Jesse maybe. I don't know because then when like she's like flirting with that dude at the store. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I don't know. Or was she just talking to a dude and Jesse perceived it as flirting? I don't know. Well, the guy's like, what's your boyfriend? So I assumed they were flirting.

Yeah. Who can say? Who can say? They send a kid to bang on the door like real fucking dickheads. And he's yelling brouha at the door. Yeah, they say call her name and the kid yells brouha. Yeah. But she's not home.

She walks up from behind them. And hits them. Good. Good. I love that you're team Anna in this. I'm just so tired of single women who just want to be left alone, who live alone, who just want to be loved alone as treated as villains in horror movies. Team Mama Fratelli.

Team Anna. Remember when her head got blown up in the basketball? It's so good. So they're playing with fireworks. And while they're trying to get a fire. to go off. I liked this a lot. Yeah.

You're like focused on the firework and then like an early 2000's like trick you video where you're focused on one thing that's kind of boring. But also building tension because you're like, please don't let Hector blow his fucking hand off with this. Yeah. Oscar jumps down onto the top of a dumpster next to them and takes off running. It's a loud bang. And that actually jumps scared me.

And then the firework goes off. Yes. Yeah. And then we see cops everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. And then a helicopter. And then a cop says to, I can't remember if it's Jesse or Hector who's filming,

but a cop says, put that camera out. Like it's a candle. And we see Anna's body getting taken out of her apartment. Yes. She is dead. Yeah. Yeah. And then we're reading in the newspaper out how Oscar killed Anna.

It's, one of them is like, it's so messed up. I just can't believe that's Anna. And it's like, good thing. You were just fine. with her. They're like, wow, she was a really great lady. Hindsight, 2020, am I right? Oh, my God. So then they're getting high and talking about Oscar, and I was like, I kind of love these kids. Yeah, they're great. Yeah. They're stupid. They're stupid teen boys. Yeah, and of course

they get high, and they're like, we should go check out the murder scene. Yes. Yes. I mean, hoomst amongst us hasn't gone into abandoned homes to see if they could find anything in there. It seems like it should be an active crime scene. Sure, sure, for sure. For sure. But I do like that Hector is high, and he's like, what are you, Sherlock Holmes? Holmes.

So they head down to the apartment. They sneak in. They don't even sneak in, I don't think. Oh, they just go through the front door. They're still being sneaky. We're men. We're sneaky. Oh, right.

So stealth. So stealth. So stelp. They find the fridge locked. Yeah. Yeah. Why is that? We never find out.

I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe Anna was just on a diet. Maybe. Wait, why was her fridge locked? So that the people she's got trapped can't eat, maybe? But she does, does she have people trapped?

I don't think that's her. I mean, she had that naked lady. I think, I don't, but like, think about Jesse's mom and she didn't, like, kidnap her. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know. Does she have people trapped?

Maybe it's something else in like an earlier segment that we've forgotten of locking your fridge. Or maybe it's the fourth movie. Maybe we didn't forget. Maybe we didn't watch. At this point, it feels very much like a, I don't know how many of the VHS movies you've watched. Just that first one. Okay. It feels like a little bit like one of those segments that would be going on in one of those.

And I think that came out in the same year as this, 2012 or so. Yeah. Yeah. So Hector starts calling for Jesse and he's getting no response and he's getting freaked out. And then Jesse is a dick and does a jump scare at him. Yeah. Also, she's got a crib in her apartment. And there's clearly something in it under the blanket and they don't look.

No, no. Why don't they look? Yes. If I'm going to go, yes, right? This is also kind of reminding me of when they were in the penthouse apartment, spoiler alert for the movie wreck. Yeah. When there's all, like, the medical stuff. Yes, surgical equipment and things like that.

Also, they're just picking everything up with their goddamn hands. Yeah, they're the little bare fists. Stupid. And then, yes, they find a bunch of VHS tapes. Yeah, what's one of the names, or the names of two children on one of the VHS tapes? Katie and Christy, 1988. Yes. Was their mom dead?

Yeah, I think, like, legendarily, she was dead, yes. Yeah. But it's first... Because, yeah, no, we saw her mom die in the third movie. They're in the house that we go to later on in this movie where all the midwives are. That house, Katie's mom gets killed in that by her grandmother. Right! Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. All right. Okay, all right. They find what they think is a journal. A journal. I'm writing in my book.

my journal. God, fucking fantastic movie. And then there's a dude in the apartment with them. Yes. Who is it? Oscar's brother. Arturo. Yeah, I've got to say.

Honk. Good looking fucking dude. Jesus, right? Yeah, I feel like they tried to ugly him up and it's like, no, thank you. It's just like, well, I would listen to the metalcore band that this guy sings for. Absolutely, I would hate it, but I just want to look at him. glad you agree he was very hunky

very hunky actually now that I'm looking oh wow he's a bit of a two-face now that I'm looking at him on Google he's hot from some angles and then from other ones you're like oh my God sure I think it's that interesting nose

sure and you love a nose I love a nose we know this about you we know this about me ha ha ha this is my comedy show It's our comedy show and our thirsting for men show. Yeah, that's fine. And also just being really disappointed in them.

And also appreciating a nice rack. Oh, God, yes. Tits for days. T's for dees. So now we're at the next morning. The interaction with Arturo is nothing. We just move on to the next morning. Where Hector is drawing a dick and balls on

Jesse's face. And Sharpie. Further reminder, the teen boys are subhuman. Come on. I remember when I was a kid, and probably like 20, people spray painting each other's faces

while they were sleeping. So just like... That's horrible. It's terrible. So Hector wakes up and tells him about a... Or no, sorry, Jesse wakes up and tells Hector about a dream he had,

about a farm and women. Old women. Yeah. Mm-hmm. There's blood in his bed. Yes, from a bite on his arm. Yes. And his dog, his little Chihuahua Chavo, doesn't like him anymore.

Which honestly would be devastating. Imagine if Apple just stopped liking you. That would be a real big bummer. I mean, I'd like her to like me a little bit less. Yeah, I mean, she doesn't have to make a love to you. Like, I'm trying to put my socks on in the morning and she's just standing on my legs. Like, hey, what are you doing? What's going on?

She likes to be in one's face, though. Yeah, she could cut me open like a ton-ton and crawl inside of me, she would. Yeah. Star Wars reference. I don't know what that is, but I believe you. His sister laughs at his dick face. Yeah, finally tells him about the dick. He lives with his sister, father, and grandmother.

The sister and father are just, like, gone for large portions of the movie. Sure. Yeah. They're just there to yell at him and then move on with their lives. Yes. We see in the journal, we see the symbol that was painted on the quote-unquote naked chick. Yes. It's like,

is it not the Deathly Hallows from Harry Potter? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Who? Who? Also, two quick things. Sure.

Just to be an annoying old man. Oh, I'm happy for this. Don't watch the new Harry Potter things. Okay. J.K. Rowling still gets money from your views. Yeah. Don't watch Scream 7. No.

They fired people for taking a political stance against genocide. Do not support that film. No, we're not doing Scream 7. Yeah. So, just like these are easy things you can do. Yeah. Like I understand that you like a thing.

Just watch the thing you already like. Yeah. Read the books you already own. Right. Don't keep giving these fucking pieces of shit money. No. Vote with your wallet. Vote with your wallet.

Yeah. Yeah. Or with a bullet as corrosion of conformity taught us. As they taught us. Yes. Don't vote with a bullet, guys. That's don't. Yeah.

No, don't do that. No. We don't condone violence. No. I mean, doesn't anyone want to impress Jody Foster anymore, but don't vote, don't vote with a bullet. Wait, was that? Sirhand, sir-hand? No, it was John Hinkley.

John Hinkley had a vision to quote the crucifax. Poor Jody Foster. Poor Jody Fuck. Although, like recently it's come out that she was kind of like, that's pretty cool. She was impressed. It actually worked. She's also a maniac and I love her.

Yeah, good for her. So they're reading in the journal and they read about the incubo. This allows sort of like travel. They think it's time travel at first. And Hector says, I would time travel to the Bahamas. And Jesse says just unholy places. And Hector says, I want to get into Marisol's cousins on holy place. And I'm like, I love Hector.

Hector rules. Is that her butthole? I would assume. I would assume. So they're doing a thing that every kid did in 2012. What's that? They get out their Simon game. Yeah, I, why? I didn't know if they found this at Annas or like, where did this come from?

I assumed it was just his grandmothers or something. Got it. Grandma's keeping her mind sharp. Can you still buy a Simon game? I bet. And also, has anyone ever had fun playing the Simon game? Yes, I was an incredibly lonely child. That's why I'm so good at Jigsaw puzzles. It's true. And that's why you love Jigsaw, the murderer.

Oh, that's why I got these giant cheek implants like Laura Lumer. Marlago face. I just want to be closer to Jigsaw. Aren't there? Isn't there like a plot line in those movies of like women being his helpers? I think there's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like the woman we first meet with like the trap on her head eventually

becomes his like sidekick until she becomes disillusion with him, if I remember correctly, which I'm sure I don't because I'm still hung up on how baggy the suit was that Donnie Walberg was wearing. Yeah, why was this so ill-fitting? You're Donnie Wahlberg. Do you better. Maybe he was pregnant at the time, and he whatnot. Yeah, you got to hide that.

So they're playing Simon. The Simon's not working right. It's kind of doing its own thing. So, well, it wasn't working at all at first. and I thought, oh my God, Jesse has ceased to exist. Like when he pushes it, nothing happens. Oh, interesting. Then it was, no, it's a Ouija board.

Yeah. So yes, the Simon will now answer questions. Just yes or no questions with red or green. Blue and yellow mean nothing to the, to the signet. No, blue and yellow are traditionally peeing and poo. What? Is your shit blue? Because we need to have a talk.

Listen, I strictly eat booberry. That's the only thing I can do. Oh, no. That turns your shit green. Everyone knows that. Yeah, but then when he makes it with the... Never mind. So we start testing it to see if it can figure out what card he's holding.

Yes, it can. And then we see if it understands another language. Is the Simon bilingual? It is. It's a Simone at that point. That's not right. It's a Simon with a... Spicy salsa flavor.

Spicy salsa flavor. And the grandma comes in and she's like, oh, I don't like this at all. Picks it up, wags her finger at them, tucks it under her arm, and shuffles out of the room. And I love this. Like, she's just like, you know what? This is my Simon Ouija board. And I'm going to take this away now. She's like, I use this to talk to your abuelo.

Yeah. So we're all riding bikes and playing basketball. Yeah. And then some more gang guys show up. Doing things that 26-year-old men would do as they have just graduated from high school. I thought you meant 26-year-old men that are then harassing teenage boys Because both those things are true

Right, these men are in their 40s So they're trying to take Jesse's backpack And they start beating on him Yeah And then A ghost kicks the shit out of the gang Or Jesse has super strength Yeah

Hard to say Yes Yeah And they show the video Marisol Yeah And I think she's like Well we should ask Simon about this

Yeah Marisol is the only one With any fucking ideas around here Sure Teenage boys, we just have dumb ideas. Yeah. As a fellow teenage boy. As I was about to say, as a 52-year-old boy.

So basically the assignment says it was a ghost. Yeah. And it's not Jesse's guardian angel. No. And he asks, are you good? And it doesn't reply. Doesn't answer. It's naughty.

He's not so good. He's a naughty demon. Yeah. So then we get Jesse doing trust falls with a demon. He can't fall over backwards. It seems actually nightmarish. Like you try to get in bed and the demon's like, ha, ha, ha. I just want to take a shit, man.

Let me bend my knees. This would be really helpful if you were like a heavy alcoholic, though. It would keep you from going backwards. Oh, true, true. Yeah, while you're singing how dry I am. So it won't, it catches Hector as well. It does not. Hector falls directly to the floor.

It does. And then he starts Tony Hawking around the place, just like doing super jumps off of things. Yeah, he's a superhero now. He's skateboards and you can blow up an air mattress with one like... With one blow. Why, though? What a strange skill. It was very weird.

They were like, how do we make it... How do we show that Jesse has like physical super prowess? What else can you do, props department? They were like, we've, this guy's been sleeping on this and the... Okay. So Jesse is now invincible in his own mind. Right. They're posting these videos and people are saying it's fake.

And Hector says that they're in their basements jacking off to R. Kelly videos all day. I love Hector. So because he's invincible, they decide to like go to a party and show off their tricks. Jesse decides and drags Hector along with him. Yeah. Yeah, he's not invincible. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

So they go to a party that's filled with ruffians and hot ladies. I like that Hector says something like, some of these fools look like criminals and shit. And this guy goes, what? And he's like, oh, not you, man. Who looked exactly like a criminal? Exactly like a criminal. You racist.

So they're like dancing with the ladies. Ladies are grinding up on Jesse, not Hector. No. And so they take them back to Alma's apartment. Yes, this is Penelope and her friend. Yes. Yet to be named. Yeah.

So Jesse and the Penelope are going to fuck. Yeah, and she's like checking her makeup in the camera and it's perfect after all night. How? Yeah. Well, you just get the like water resistant stuff so that it doesn't run, right? Like spray paint? That's the one. You get tattooed.

people still doing tattooed makeup yeah oh for sure like microbladed eyebrows are still a thing and people get eyeliner tattooed it's wild I know right I know

I know I know oh man that just may want to jump out of my own skin yes that's why you don't have tattooed eyeliner that's why you draw it on every day every fucking day take a break well I mean I'm still

I still am going through my supply of Pete Wentz's guy liner. You know, I feel like that was an unnecessarily gendered thing, but go on. 100%. You know, dudes, we need to know that this eyeliner is for us. It's for dudes. It's probably cheaper than women's eyeliner, too, because women's shit has to cost

more. Guys, I'm sorry, I'm going through this phase. I'll get out of it. I'm not. I love it. She says to him, I want you to fuck the shit out of me, and he's like, okay. He should have been like, ma'am, I am a teenage boy. That will not happen.

Yeah. She's like, I want you to fuck me really, really hard. Yeah. Okay. I'm like three pumps and I'm done. Yeah, no. And I might cry. And then I'm going to cry, yeah.

So he runs out to get a condo. Well, they're at Ana's apartment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like fucking on a piece of cardboard on the floor. Right. Yeah, he did not bring a rubber. Yeah. But good thing they're being safe.

Sure. Appreciate this. And then he leaves and then she, She's like checking herself out in the camera because she wants to record the shit getting fucked out of her. Yeah. Also, great rack on that lady. Sure. So she hears some noises, some demon noises.

Some thudding. Some scratching. Leave Penelope B. And then she's bored. So she opens the trap door. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. After a loud thud. And what's in the trap door?

Someone grabs her head. Yeah. It's an Oscar? It's Oscar. He's been hiding in the fucking trap door. And he looks sad and bad. he does look sad and bad. So Jesse comes back.

Penelope has split. Yes. The shit will remain inside of her. Yeah, no shit getting fucked out of her today. No, no, no, no. Just like, I don't know. If someone said that to me in the moment,

I'd be like, word? Do you mean, like, are you sure? Or do you mean, like, did you just say that? Why would you say that? Yeah. I don't know. But then again, I know I'm...

The drunk teens, though, you know. I'm not the guy you're coming to to get the shit fucked out of you. Oh. Your wife is just downstairs waiting to get the shit fucked out of her. No, stop it now. Come with it now. Oh, no, you're married now. I can't.

Oh, good times. So, Jesse comes back. he's checking the bathroom, he's thinking Hector has done something here. And then he bumps into Oscar. Yes. He says, she put it inside me. She fuck the shit out of him, yeah.

Oscar got black eyes now. Yes. He says, she put it inside me. That's why I killed Anna. She changed me and it's inside you too, Jesse. Right. And he has the same bite that Jesse does. But when he shows his, there's like bugs under his skin?

Sure. Yeah. Demon bugs. That doesn't seem right to me. Well, you know, he's a little bit further advanced. I guess, yeah. But it never does happen to Jesse, I don't think. Not that we see.

No. Many other things happen to Jesse, though. He says, kill yourself before you hurt someone. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jesse's like not a dog. They go outside. I think Oscar runs away and they go outside.

Yeah. He's looking for Oscar. Yeah. And then Oscar falls out of the sky onto a car. Falls and or jumps. Yeah. Yeah. But I love this.

Through the car. Yeah. I love this movie. for dropping stuff on you. Oh, yeah. Like, still, to this day, the kitchen falling on that one woman is fucking amazing. It's, that was, that scene was so wonderful. Yeah.

Yeah. These movies are really quite good. They really are. Yeah. They're way better than they should be. And I think that's why every time I watch one, I'm like, this is going to be so stupid. I was like, yay, it's fun. Yeah, it is.

It really is. So they go back to investigate because Sherlock Holmes. They go back through the trap door. Back through the trap door. She's got dream catchers down there. She does. What is she doing so little Native American magic? What are you doing?

She just says like general witchcraft and occult stuff. Sure. It's like a lightly Blair witchy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's lots of hanging tarps. Tarpes, yep. And she's got photos of Jesse now and as a baby.

And inside of his mom. Right, a picture of his pregnant mom. Yeah. Plus a white lady named Lois? Sure. Who's Lois? I don't know. Okay.

But also, can you imagine seeing a picture of your mom and going, she's pregnant with me? Like, I don't know that I would immediately, but I guess he's like using time stamps of how old his parents are to figure out. Because she could have been pregnant with his sister or was his sister in the photograph as well. No, she wasn't in the photo, but I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like just knowing right off the bat, like, oh, that's obviously me.

I see. I thought you were like surprised that your mother had been pregnant. No, no, no, no. No, no. I understand. Your dad raw dogged her. And that's how she got pregnant. That's how babies are.

Actually, God did it. God put a stork inside my mother to drop me off. I forgot you were the Messiah. Hey, I'm a white dude. Yeah, of course. Look, we're going to get shit for this episode. We gotta stop. I really don't want to hear it.

Listen, I've got major main character syndrome. Oh, four. That's what? People are like, what's how I'm like, oh, main character syndrome. And there's also pictures of Oscar and his mom, I think, too. Yes. And then someone's walking around upstairs. And there's also, wait, there's like a chalkboard with like witch math on it.

Yeah. It was like good witch hunting. Is that yeah? Yeah? Yeah? No. That's bad. No, that's bad.

No, that's bad. That's pretty bad. So he goes up to talk to his dad and sister. Sure. And he's talking about how, like, this is where we learned that his mom died in childbirth with him. Right. Right.

Right. Right. And his dad's just, like, yelling at him for getting up in the middle of the night. Yeah. He's like, I don't, what are you talking about? He's like, he's worried. His dad's really worried about him. Sure.

Yeah. But, like, not willing to put him work. Well, I don't. It seems like he's got a lot on his plate. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So then we got to Jesse pulling something out of his eye. It's like a long hair.

Yeah. And then there's one in his throat, up his nose. Gross, gross. This is like when you find long hairs between your butt cheeks when after showering, you know? I do. No. I do. No, you don't.

I do. I do. I hated this little thing that happens. I don't ever need. movies to do this. What's up? The lights flash in the bathroom and you see that there's a demon inside of him. I didn't even notice that. Okay, no, I didn't know. You don't need that. There's like a little Bugs Bunny or Tom and Jerry like finger in the light socket where you could see their Skellington. Right. And you see the demon inside of it. I don't like that either. Yeah, no,

we don't need that. I didn't even see it and I don't like it. Mm-mm. So they go to see Arturo. Arturo. Let's go to Arturo's house. Any excuse to go to Arturo's house. Any excuse to Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. Oh, yeah, I'll come with you. I'll come to Archer's house. And we see that Oscar had a bunch of marked ones articles hung up in his closet. Mm-hmm. And there's a number for a woman named Allie Rays.

Who is she? She's apparently the daughter in, I think, paranormal activity three or two or one of them. with like the family in like the suburban home with the the pool outside where like the pool cleaning thing keeps being animated by the demon and falling into the pool. Oh yeah. I believe she's the fucking pool. She's the daughter in that one. Oh.

So that's why she has become a sexpert in all things, paranormal activities. I lightly understand. Okay. Let's go. Let's carry on. I'm sure there's somebody who watches this movie and went, oh, hell yeah. Allie. I'm sure.

And also, again, there's a, there's a movie between. Yes. Yeah, for sure. Why would we watch that? Yeah. Yeah. So what we learned from all these missing posters, which are like, and from Arturo, and all the posters are in German and Chinese and all, you know, all different languages.

And we learn that it's firstborn sons whose mothers died in childbirth. Sure. And Oscar was adopted. Arturo and he are not biological brothers. Oh, that makes sense. Because she died in childbirth. Gotcha. just like Jesse's mom.

Got it going on. I was going to go with, I wish that I had Jesse's mom, but it's fine. Sure. We can do whatever we want. I'm younger. We can do whatever we want.

You're your big Fountains of Wayne fan. It makes sense that I would go with Fountains of Wayne. I actually love Fountains of Wayne. The first record, I've never heard anything but Jesse's mom. Really? Listen to the first record. It's like 1998.

You might like it. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So, Hector takes the number. Takes Allie Ray's number. Yes. Also, you don't have to, because Arturo's like, don't fucking touch anything.

My mom doesn't want anything touched, like, any of Oscar. It's on the key. You're videotaping it. You don't need to rip the number off the wall, my dude. It's on the tape. How would I get the number, though? Yeah, you're right. You're right.

No, you're right. So then we're at the store, and Jesse has started acting weird. Yeah. He's being, we have not seen him be like physically aggressive in any way. Right. But when Marisol is talking to Pablo, they get into a confrontation. Yeah, he, like, fucks up Pablo for no reason, really.

Yeah. And then when the guy running the bodega that they're in comes out with a baseball bat, he takes the bat from the dude. Yeah, the dude swings it at him and he just like puts up his hand and stops it like a spider man. Is that what a spider man does? Yeah, that's exactly what a spider man does. Really? Yeah.

All right. Thank you. I did see apparently two Spider-Men. Oh, really? I thought I'd only seen one, but I thought Willem Defoe and Alfred Molina were in the same, but there's two different movies. So I've seen two Spider-Men. Look at you. Two Spider-Men.

Can you name their characters from those movies? Green Boy? Green Boy? Green Boy and Octopus Man. You fucking nailed it. I know. Am I right? I know Green Boy isn't right, but it's Octopus Man right?

Green Goblin. Green Boy. Boy. And Doc Ock. Doc Ock. Yes. I wasn't going to come up with that. Not to be confused with Dr. Octagon, the cool Keith side project that everyone should listen to.

Yeah, yeah. Where he has interstitial things that say stuff like you have bees around your rectum. And a cover by Pusshead. Anyway, moving on. Facts. Yeah, he like, he stops the bat with his hand. He snags it from the guy. And you're like, well, this is.

not like Jesse. No, no, no. He's still acted weird the next day. He can't control himself. He says he's losing time, but he's also wearing white lipstick. Sure. Yeah. Okay.

I think he's forgetting to drink maybe. Oh, okay. Maybe his family has locked his fridge. Why? I don't know. Okay. So they bring out the Simon again. Yes.

And he gets so mad he rips the batteries out of it. Yeah. Foiled. It can't work anymore. That's it. Genuinely the end of it. Like, did you not think that it was. going to just work without the batteries because it's a demon, but it was like, fuck, man,

diesel. I 100% thought it was going to keep going. Yes, of course. No, foiled. We also see that Chavo will now be a marked one. Why will Chavo be a, he'll be a barked one. A barked one. Yeah.

Wait, is this one? Because Chavo runs in Donna's apartment. Oh, that's right. That's right. And then goes immediately into the trap door. Yes. Yeah. Why do you do this?

You're just a puppy. So he goes down after Chavo. And who's down there? Who's down there? Katie and Christy. Katie and Christy. But they're young selves. What are they doing down there?

Yeah. What are they doing down there? Demons business. I think I need to put all this big plot line together again. Oh, man. we need a fucking wall with some red string connecting everything. We need. We do.

We do. Just put it out there. I will watch the rest of these movies. And I'm looking forward to 2027 when the eighth one comes out. Eighth. Whoa. Ace. Shit, we got a lot.

We got a lot of catching up to do. Okay. All right. Okay. I mean, we genuinely enjoy them. So why wouldn't we? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he runs from the girls. The trap door shuts on him. someone says he's ready for you. And then some growling person attacks him. Right. Yeah. Meanwhile, Hector and Marisol go to see Allie. And this is where we learn about the midwives.

Oh, right, right, right. Which she says with, like, the most chill vibes. She does not seem at all alarmed by the thing she's saying. She sounds like she's describing like a marketing scheme to that. She's like, okay, so what we're going to do is you're going to, we're going to start with a social media push. And then it's like, she has no concern. It's a market scheme. But um, psal.

Yeah, uh, you tell a friend and you tell a friend. It's actually a pyramid scheme. It's actually, it's an upside down pyramid. But I, I'm a sucker for a cabal that is doing a thing. So like the fact that the midwives are a thing, they're like this like group. that's like secretly marking males in utero. Is it in, why are they doing this?

Demons, demons, demons business. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Oh,

so they find out all this information and then they go see Jesse. Mm-hmm. Also, when they were in the trap door, the word M-E-U-S was written in blood on the wall. Yeah, that must mean something we don't know about. I can't wait to find out.

I can't wait to watch the movie before this one. Are we just going to do four next week? Yeah. Okay, cool. Oh, yeah, we didn't pick anything, did we? All right, we'll do four next week. So, this is the most upsetting part of this film. When he has Chavo in the ceiling?

He's chavow on the ceiling. He's just chuckling at the dog whining and barking on the ceiling. Yeah. And I have a note that just says Irma is concerned. Irma is concerned. That's not the end. I mean, we're about to see the end of Arma. Well, first we have to go to the cleansing store to get the cleansing rituals.

Yeah, that's right. Poor Irma, she's so worried about Jesse. She does not tell, like, his father or anything. No. They go to the cleansing store. Yeah, so she learns how to do an exorcism, basically, to cleanse this situation. Yeah. So she's going back and recreating it and does some egg magic.

Egg magic. Yeah. Did you know eggs were magical? Yeah, yeah. I've heard in my nerdery about reading about witchcraft like eggs like feature prominently and a lot of stuff. Interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. It makes sense. Yeah, sure does. Yeah. They're delicious. And they're high in protein. Yeah.

Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. I mean, when I'm like fucking getting jacked and all I'm eating is protein. Yeah. Eggs baby. Oh, look at this. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Gotcha. Flexin. That's just the steroids. That's just the steroids. So, So she learns this ritual. She goes back.

She does her egg magic and Jesse's smiling about the egg magic. Yeah. Not in a I'm better way. Yeah. In an I'm worse way. And he crushes the egg in Irma's hand. Yeah. I thought he was hurting Irma, but he was not.

Thank goodness. And then the lights go out so that we get to have night vision. Oh, got to have night vision. Gotta have night vision. Gotta. Yeah. You gotta regatta. So we see Jesse floating and screaming.

Yeah. Like you do. Like you do when you're possessed. Sure. Yeah. Whomst amongst us? Whomst amongst us. There's demon noises.

There's Jesse lying on the floor. Now the room's all fucked up and Jesse's unconscious. Yeah. Irma's praying. Oh, yeah. She's got to do her rituals. Sure. And we hear, uh, Hector hears a crashing noise.

Mm-hmm. Cross falls off the wall. Mm-hmm. Demons. Demons are such pricks. They're always making a mess of your house. Yeah. Yeah.

And Jesse and Irma are gone. They probably just went out for smokes. Probably just taking a walk. They didn't. No. Because we find Jesse standing at the top of the steps in the apartment complex. Yeah. Irma's at the bottom.

Yeah. I hate this. She's not dead, though. Take her ass to the hospital. Take her ass to the hospital. Why would you hurt this woman? It's like how Johnny Depp killed my grandmother. It made me hate Johnny Depp all over again this movie.

He killed my Nana. Thanks so much. Fucking prick. Seriously. He is dead to us. So we learned she's not dead. No. And then Jesse is missing.

Sorry, go on. Johnny Depp is actually dead inside. Jesse is missing. Whenever you think about Johnny Depp, I just wonder what he smells like. It's not good. It's not a good smell. It's, I'm going to say sweat. Cigarette smoke.

Pachuli a bit? Oh, yeah. Sure. Sure. And like. Unclean scarves. Yeah. dirty hair.

Like a dirty hair smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He calls it earthy. It's something. So, Ali thinks that Jesse's missing. So Ali thinks he's been taking

to the final ritual house. Right, they just call her on the phone and get this information. We don't see the phone call or anything. Maricel's just like, hey, I called Ali. And she said, why did Ali not provide this information in their first conversation? It seems relevant.

You've got to let the people that you're teaching. You've got to let them get there on their own. Do you? I don't know. Okay. So, oh, their car, they go to Hector's car. They're going to drive to the ritual house, I guess, and they see Jesse in the parking lot after their car dies.

Yeah, the car stalls, and Jesse comes walking, like, silhouetted by a street lane. And then he's gone. He's gone. And then he's on the roof. Also, we previously have been told that he has a bat in the car, and someone's like, why do you even have a bat? First of all, everyone should have a weapon in their car. But it's Chekhov's bat.

Sure. Because here's where it comes up. So Maris Hall picks up the bat and hits Jesse with the bat when he's trying to get Hector out of the car. Yep. They throw them in the back seat. Yep. And then they're immediately teaboned by a large vehicle. The Midwives.

I like that the midwives have like a truck. Yeah, they've got to get around too. And they come and kidnap Jesse. They kidnap Jesse. They took Jesse. Yeah. But somehow Hector's like cars, okay? Sure.

Doesn't, the door still closes. So he's got to, uh, they go to get Arturo because they know he's got guns. Right. Arturo and his pal. Because he lives in America. Oh. And has neck tattoos. He gets a gun out of a trunk and says, let's go smoke these bitches.

Which is right up there with, I want you to fuck the shit out of me. Right. Word. His friend's name is Santo, because of course it is. And again, oh, I do dirt this. I forgot about this. What? So they go to the house.

Yeah. And we recognize this house from the third movie. and Santo is like, I could pick a lock and get us in here. Yeah. You guys, I guess, go wander around while I'm doing this. Yeah, I'm fine to be here by myself and you're fine to do other things. Whatever those could be.

It's like when I went to Costco yesterday and my meds weren't ready yet. And they're like, just give us 10 minutes. Go wander through the store. Oh, did you get anything? Yeah, yeah, picked up some offcados. Oh, nice. And you can get four pounds of tofu for five bucks. Can't beat it.

Yeah, it's so cheap. Can't beat it. Yeah. So they leave him alone. I would know that says Hector Wonders Off and then Luder Chris is selling me vitamins because I was watching this with ads. Oh, good. And I was like, why is Luda selling vitamins?

What vitamins is he selling? Some one-a-day supplement. Oh, my God. That man. The last time I saw him in and out, it was like a state farm commercial. I'm glad that he's just cashing in, as though he didn't make a Brazilian dollars. Yeah. Has he played a Trump fundraiser yet?

No, I think he's a pretty smart guy. I think we can still like ludicrous. I'm going to double check on that, but I think he's, um, he's one, he's, he's, he's all right. I felt bad for you because I saw that Nellie was coming to Pittsburgh. I'm going. Are you going to be here like twice in a month because he's playing the draft too. That's right. It's going to third eye blind together.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just found out about it last night, actually, and it remembered right now that you said that, that I agreed to go. What are you more excited about? Nelly or third eye blind? Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, I don't know.

That is my hold music in my brain. It is your whole music in your brain. So, they get into the house. We see, like, a storage space. And, and then we cut back to Arturo and Marisol, and they're walking around, and Arturo starts shooting people, these midwives. Are you learning about Ludacris?

Um, yes, I was making sure he was okay. Yeah, I guess you were still doing the episode, huh? I just looked over and you were totally gone. I was reading about, uh, he, I was reading about his controversies, none of which are like anything that would really concern us. Okay, good. But he did, um, he's, during the 2008 presidential election, he, dropped a mixtape called The Preview with a song Politics as usual. Regarding John McCain, McCain don't belong in any chair unless he's paralyzed.

President George W. Bush. Yeah, I said it because Bush is mentally handicapped. Ball up all the speeches and throw them just like candy wraps. Because what you talk in, I hear nothing even relevant. You the worst of all 43 presidents. Wow. And Hillary Clinton, Hillary hated on you so that bitch is irrelevant. re-Obama.

Okay. So I think he's, I think, yeah. Yeah. We can still like this. Yeah, yeah. I mean, yes. Better than doing a Trump fundraiser. Yeah.

Look, Nellie's had a lot of tax problems. Sure. Yeah. I'm sorry. Where were we? Arturo was shooting a screaming midwife is running at him. Yes. But he's just firing indiscriminately.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Santo gets shot. Yeah, Santa, or Santo, yes. or maybe killed by the midwives. I don't live by the gun, die by the gun, Santo. So I think perhaps Arturo, I thought maybe Arturo shot him by accident.

It's possible. Yeah, who knows? Marisol disappears. Well, so we find that it's just Hector and Marisol alone in the house. Yeah. So like all the midwives went outside and left these two inside. Like, no, women are way smarter than them. Yeah, but they're also doing a thing.

They're doing a thing. They're doing a bit, yeah. Because we find the occult sacrifice area. Right. And he's still trying to find Marisol. Then he does. Yeah, he like walks out of the room. He says, Marisol, wait here.

He finds the occult area, turns around Marisol's gone. Why couldn't she have just come with you? Also, what kind of head was that in the middle of the occult area? It was like a dog or a camel? Yeah, I don't know. Or goat, maybe? A goat. That makes more sense than a dog or a camel.

We do camel-based occult here. We like to put a little different spit on it. It's like a, it's like a spicy, I don't know. Salsa? No, I was trying to think of like a dip from a, you know, like a Baba Ginoosh, but that's not right, you know. Do you like a spicy Baba Ginoosh? I love Babba Gnish. Oh my gosh.

So Mirosol falls from the ceiling, as everything does in these movies. some it's it's yeah so like we're we're looking through the camera at a chair that has a sheet over it and someone is in the chair you can tell and then marisole falls through the roof and then tompetti is there doesn't that lady look like tompetti yeah rip to a real one all right p to a real one so there's bars on the windows on the second floor of this house you love that I do yeah because it's a simple way of saying some shit's gone down here. Exactly.

Yeah. We get Jesse. Jesse shows back up. Now he's roaring. Clay Manning through a door. I was going to say he's doing like a yes, Jesse. Yeah. And Hector goes through what can only be described as a magic door.

Yes. It's got like a cult symbols all over it. He goes through the magic door and now he's in a totally different house. Yeah. What house is it? It's Katie's house. Katie and Mika. Yeah.

I have a note that just says fun. Fun, yeah. So he's trying to talk to her. Yeah. She's like walking around in the like tank top and boxers from the first movie. Yeah, yeah. Just sleeping in her bra like you do. Not that kind of bra, you know?

Let them puppies like float around while you're sleeping, lady. Well, yes and no. Okay. All right. All right. Titt have her here? Yes. no. Okay. So he's like,

ma'am, help me, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am, I can't win. And then she turns around and starts screaming Mika, Mika, Mika. Yeah, yeah. He runs down the stairs. And then is she stabbing Mika? So this is what we didn't see this happen off screen in the first movie. Yes. Because she walks back into the room covered in blood. Yes. Yeah. So we're right. We see Mika's death finally. Finally. Oh, man, that's really good.

And maybe that's why she was like, you know what, I'm done. I've gone full circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then Hector gets jessied. He does. Demon Jesse comes for him. Yeah. And then Katie turns off the camera?

No. Midwife. It's one of the witches. Oh, it's Tom Petty. Yeah, and then demon noises continue. That low rumble that's in all these movies. Yeah, great. Yeah, yeah.

It's a bit dumb in places, but yeah, we are. Yeah. I don't know why we like these so much. but we do. Does it make you feel a little dumb? Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Totally. Yeah. I mean, when you look at what else is coming out at this time, this is like when I think Insidious came out like a year, possibly two years before this. Yeah. And that movie's hot garbage. And what I'm saying is like that felt like a beginning of an end a little bit for horror.

Sure. Until it, you know, became elevated and now everybody, whatever. But, um, I feel like, yeah, I really enjoy the series. Yeah, me too. And, like, there's no way on earth I would have predicted that I would enjoy these as much as I do. Totally. But I really, really like it.

So it sounds like we're heading towards the ratings phase. Yeah, you want to rate it? I do. I'm going to give this a solid 7.9. 7.9. 7.9. I cannot get that extra. No, I can't get it.

No, no. Because whatever that means, I can't go that far. No, no. I'm going to actually undercut you a bit here. I'm going to say 7.8. I like this. I like this. Enjoyed it very much. Sure.

Enjoyed it very much. And it's like an hour and 25 minutes. Exactly what a found footage movie should be. Precisely. Yes. Exactly what a movie should be. Yeah. Guys, make a TV show if you want to make it over an hour and a half.

I agree. I'll give you an hour 40. I'll give you an hour 40 and then I am out. Yeah. I mean, I will give individual episodes of Perot an hour and 40. Totally. Broken Wood Mysteries are like an hour and 40. Season 12 is just dropping.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. Did you watch The Change on Acorn? No, should I? I'm like two episodes in. I'm really digging it. It's very, like, weird, but it's about a woman who's going through menopause.

And like, great. Like, realizes that, like, her family situation is ruining her life, so she just takes a motorcycle and drives off into the woods. Whoa. In a cut of those. Yeah, that's fun. I thought you were getting rid of Acorn.

Sucked you back in. I'm holding out. I'm holding out. I like Acorn quite a bit. Yeah. I feel like I should get rid of Disney before I get rid of Acorn. Disney's so expensive. Well, I have the three because I want ESPN too.

Yeah. Disney's expensive and it's a fucking satanic corporation. Sure. I feel like Acorn's got to just be run by sweet old ladies. Oh, yeah. There's just a couple old ladies drink a tea and put TV shows on. Drink a tea and make an original content sometimes. Also, I think all their originals are great.

Yeah. And I look at their acorns just like, I don't know, New Zealand, enjoy this. Can I read you a message from a listener? I would love that. And a patron. Hello, Patron. This message says, long time listener, maybe back from episode three. No, shit.

That was stitches, I think. What if that was the movie? I think you're right, but like, I just got to see what other people think of stitches. I liked stitches, if I recall. You did. Finally joined the Patreon. Oh, hi. Thanks.

My name is Damon Destructo, and I'm in Portland, Oregon. I love Guar. Doot, doot. Perfect. That is the message. That is a perfect message. Yeah. Thank you, Damon.

Thank you for joining the patron. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for being with us for such a long time. Thank you for being one of the scum dogs of the universe. That's a Guar reference. Yeah. I like Guar. here's a little message from a messer to a slave never should have been let out the fucking microwave

I can do the entire I can do the entire guar rap thing it's ridiculous prove it coward no because it gets a little it's a little rebald a little rebald you want to do another movie next week I do do do do paranormal activity for yeah I'm planning on it I'm already I'm like oh can I watch it tonight and then it's like well I remember it by Thursday we're coming up at the end of tech season oh my god guys it's in a rough. Be kind to yourselves. Be kind to each other. Be as kind to yourselves as you are to us on a regular basis. Yeah, really, bros. Also, stop being so kind to me. I don't like it. It makes me uncomfortable. If you were unkind to her, I will find you. Just know this. And then I will just glare at you. And I will make you feel very intimidated. Yeah, you don't want this glower. You don't

want this glower coming at you. Hell of a glower. Yeah. I would tell you to go see my band play in Santa Ana, California in June, but that show sold out within three days. I, yep. I was looking at tickets to Santa Ana. Cheaper than I thought, really. I'll put you on the guest list if you want to go. I think, well, I can't. Anyway, so if you're at your Renaissance Fest in June, you'll see me there.

Yeah, dude. Alan's going to put you guys on the guest list, I heard. Thanks for listening to another episode of Werewell Famul. Bye. Bye. Empty. Clear. So clear.