Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 557- I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025)

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

In this week's episode, we are taking a stroll down the most toxic of emotions (nostalgia) with the 2025 reboot of I Know What You Did Last Summer. Special topics for your consideration include: men who wear jewelry, an extreme misunderstanding in the nature of a sex scene, podcast awards, and The Cure. We covered the original and sequel of this franchise in episodes 8 and 328, respectively. You can also catch more JLH in Episode 269- "Can't Hardly Wait." The  regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes! This month's theme is sequels to "Bloodsport;" did you know that one of them is called "Lady Bloodfight?" Genuinely hoping the voters know what they're doing this month. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Hey, Katie. Hi, Alan. Welcome to summertime. Oh, I love summertime. I just can't believe they just didn't try to find something punny for the title. No, I think it's all right. They're just remaking it. I wrote, I know what you did last summer.

Summerer, perfect. I mean, let's do some nostalgia here. Oh, man. Nistalgia for something you have no nostalgia for. I've been doing this a lot lately, but I'm, going to go ahead and spoil things. I didn't hate this movie. Really?

Yeah, I didn't hate this movie. I didn't hate it until the last 15 minutes. And then I was like, how very dare you? I mean, it's basically, and I guess the first one was also this. It's the first one was also scream. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But this is like, this is like, what if we did now scream?

What if we did current scream? Right, which I think is what Scream also just did, but I won't know because those people are all fucking scabs. Fuck those dickheads. Fuck those dickheads. Um, yeah. So tell me, tell me about, uh, tell me about this movie. Don't walk me through this little movie.

Oh, you want me to just do a quick plot synopsis? We get the, you know, the shots of the ocean and the cliffs and all the beautiful stuff. And my first note is I miss the ocean. Oh, do you? Yeah. Yeah. I think about it all the time. Well, in Delaware, it's, you can't see your feet for more than like six inches into water.

I'm going to try and swim in the Pacific Ocean when I'm in L.A. You're going to like that because you can be, to see. yourself. Yeah, but that ocean is fucking mean too. It beats the shit out of you. Well, I'm not big on getting very far out there, frankly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We meet a woman who is trying on different outfits, but talking to herself in a mirror in a way that I don't think anyone ever has, ever will, or ever would. It's like, oh, who's that? I feel like it's very TikTok influencer. You must be right, because that's, it doesn't seem right to me. So she tries on this like peach color dress.

It's fine. She tries on like a navy blue dress. It's fine. Yeah. She puts on this like beautiful woman. She's gorgeous. She puts on this ridiculous green outfit. And I was like, oh, she's not going to wear that.

And she's like, perf. It's got like a cat's face in her crotch. It's ridiculous. It's lime green halter top, I think. Just really wretched. Well, this is happening. She's in her like high school bedroom. Yeah.

She's come home to her high school house. Right. And she goes through a box and finds a one hitter and just like sparks it up. I was like, that's not how weed. That's not how weed. That's not how weed works. It didn't seem like it went very well. No, no, no.

But then she's like tapped out the one hitter and I was like, that's not how that works. It's not a cigarette. Yeah. Well, good try, everyone. She is getting ready to go to an engagement party of her best friend. Danica. Danica, who looks so much like Yvanka Trump. Oh my God.

Yeah. You're right. It's not even her fault. No, no, no, no. I'm a beautiful woman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She's getting married to Teddy. Teddy. There's a big banner that says Danica and Teddy get hooked. Right, because this is a fishing town. Fishing town. And we understand that Ava, the woman who was trying on the outfits, has a history with someone who's going to be at the party. this is Milo.

Yeah. Did Milo go to college? Descendants joke. Descendants joke. Maybe for pointing at me when you said it. It's a great record. It's a great record. All the records are great records.

Everyone. And somehow all just does not hate for me. Really? I thought you like Descendants. I like descendants. I don't like, all is the other band with the... Oh, all.

It's descendants with a different singer. No, yeah, I know. Yeah. There's a couple all songs. Oh, yeah. There's some, but it's like... I'm like the punkorama comps. I remember being like, that's pretty good.

Oh shit, hell yeah, punkorama. Yeah, punkeroma 5 was my jam. It's like now that's what I call music for punk kids. It totally was. I loved comps. People still put out comps. They're going to a show and just coming home with comps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The fuck, man. Oh, man, there was a, I had a comp that was punk bands covering 70s TV show themes. That was really great. I love that. I love cap and jazz was on that. I love cap and jazz. Yeah, who doesn't? They're back, baby.

Are they back? I guess you're back, though I shouldn't be back. Yeah, every band from that era is back. So, uh, her, Danica is telling her like, oh, you should, you should hook up with Milo tonight.

There's going to be fireworks, and you know how erotic I find fireworks. And I was like, do you? Do you? Do you? Uh, fireworks make me nervous. It makes me bored. Well, I like them.

They're pretty and cool and fine. Yeah. But I'm always like, don't play your hand off. Oh, don't pull your hand off. You know, I get really nervous about it. It's fucking hubris, you know? We're blowing shit up and defines of God. Just to be like, woo!

She also says something about it's not astrology, it's empathy. When she's talking about something being an Aquarius. Oh, yeah, she has like a, oh, fuck. She calls her like a Claire something empath. Yeah, yeah. It's not astrology, it's empathy. Fuck off with your space race. You know I thought of you when she said that.

Thank you. So they're going to go for a drive. Is it because I'm an Aquarius? How are you? Well, I'm on the cusp between Capricorn and Aquarius, but one time friend of the podcast once told me that I was in Aquarius because I need everyone to like me. I was like, that's space racism. I believe I'm an Aries.

You're not a Pisces. No, I'm Aries. I'm Aries. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you seem more like. a Pisces to me, whatever that means. Sure.

I actually have no idea. I try, I know that I'm Arias because I try telling the, like, Christian woman I worked with that the obviously satanic goat that I have on my forearm, which is like, no, it's my astrological symbol. I'm an Ares. Capricorn is the goat. Who knows? I think, right?

I don't know. People are screaming at their astrology. I think Aries is the ram. Close enough. Yeah. Close enough. You're out there on the hillside. doing whatever it is you do.

I have written here, God, I'm so glad I never have to get married again. Just the whole thing is so much and so dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless you just do it in your dining room. A couple friends and have a cake. Yeah. That's true. So they're going to go for this drive because the party's wound down

and now like the old high school buds are back together and they see their other, the fifth wheel. Stevie. She's like way more interesting, obviously. Sure. Yeah. She's living a life. She's living a life.

She's got a job. She works at the bar. The bar. That's brought the alcohol to this event. Exactly. Yeah. So she's picking up the empties and her co-workers like, hey, man, go have fun. Go have fun with your bros.

Yeah. And she does. And I was like, all the co-workers is the killer. No one has died yet. I mean, this movie like immediately out of the gate, you're like, oh, they're the killer. No, they're the killer. No, they're the killer. No, no, they're the killer.

No one is. You're the killer. No one has even died yet. No, no. Also, Milo needs to put his blazer back on because he's wearing like a t-shirt tucked into dress pants with all of these wearing so much jewelry. Yeah. It's gross.

A lot of pinky rings in this movie. Pinky, he's wearing pinky rings, two bracelets, a chain and a single earring. I'm not into him at all. I can't remember what I was watching, but I heard some. That matters to him, I'm sure. he also looks 25 years older than everybody else yeah uh i can't remember what i was watching but somebody described someone as being handsome enough to pull off all that jewelry i was like i can understand that isn't that why elaine broke up with keith hernandez on um signfeld was because she

didn't like a man who wore jewelry dog you know i never watched no signfeld whatever whatever whatever so they go up for a drive uh teddy gets a little high and he's fucking around with Danica who is driving and he's like making them swerve all over the road. And someone says something about women drivers, which is very fucking annoying. I believe it's Teddy who says that. Also, I was at Home Depot getting soil this week.

And I was pushing around one of those big platform carts. And I was having a hard time making a sharp turn. And I wrecked into the side of a, I didn't like, I just bumped it. Nothing broke or fell. And I was like, oh, excuse me, excuse me, you're like backing it back up and turning it again. And this woman shopping behind me goes, you know what they say about women drivers?

Yeah. And I was just like, why would you say that? I just turned her and I was like, why would you say that? You can't say that. But she's like, I'm so sorry. No, she just like went about her. I'm at Home Depot in the middle of the day way. Piss me off.

They park in the middle of the road to watch the fireworks as you do. Yeah, sure. On a, on a cliff. On a curve. On a cliff. Yes. Yeah. that we learned later is called Reapers Curve.

Right. It must be where the other, whatever. It has to be. It has to be. Yeah. Because everything is about that. Yeah. Yeah.

So they're up there watching the fireworks and there's a car coming and Teddy's playing chicken with the car. But Milo saves him. I wish he would have just gotten hit right there and then that was the movie. Who hit Teddy? Teddy looks like a really buff version of my friend Peter and it's very weird. See, I thought Teddy looked like a like, like, taller, more stretched out version of the abusive boyfriend from Jersey Shore.

Which one is that? Yeah. The situation? People know the other one. People know what I'm talking about. People know if they watch that show and I certainly did. Ronnie. Ronnie.

That's the guy who broke the other dude's ocular bone when he punched him in the face. Is that true? Yeah. I don't remember that. Yeah. Oh, man. That sounds very painful. I believe Snooki is cancer free right now.

I didn't know Snooki was cancer had. Good for Snooki. I think J-Wow is doing well. Did Snooki really have cancer? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry for anyone who has cancer. Yeah, if it's Snooki.

I feel like Snooki was the least offensive at all of them. I feel like all the women weren't that bad. No, no, no. Yeah. Oh, stage one cervical cancer. She's so young. She's like 38. Yeah.

That's why you get your pap smears, guys. Come on, get in there. Although they're trying to take, I only have to get them every three years now. Oh. My insurance will only cover them every three years. Sure. So when my cervix rots up and falls off. Yeah, well, that's what happens.

Fucking piece of shit sounds like crank from a Teeny Teeny Ninja Turtles is trying to tell me that I shouldn't be on my SSRIs. The thing that keeps me alive. It keeps me alive. Also, the idea of being like no more antidepressants while we just raised the prices of everything and you're worried about going bankrupt. Yes. Okay.

Thanks, dude. You guys are killing it. Are we great again? I feel great. As I've said a hundred times to you, let's just give them four more years and see how this goes. You know what? I do feel great and it has nothing to do with me being on the maximum dose of Symbolta.

I'm at the tippy top, baby. I've always said that about you. Pinnacle. That's what they call me pinnacle. You're the apex of Simbalta. Acme of Symbalta. So now there's another truck coming. and Teddy's still in the middle of the fucking road.

Mm-hmm. And this truck. Barrelling down. Barreling down. Barreling down. Fier's as to not strike one Teddy. Right. And goes right through the guardrail.

Right through the guardrail. Yeah. And hangs there for a moment. Yeah, well, these dumdums are trying to hold it in place. Here's the thing. The window, the driver's side window is broken. Uh-huh. Just break it all the way and pull the person out.

Huh? Yes. Teddy's just trying to open the door. Open that door. Open the motherfucking door. Pretty sure I can hold a two-ton truck that's engine is off the side of a cliff. I'm pretty sure I can do that.

You and a couple girls, Milo. A couple ladies in flats can take care of this situation. But this does not work, shockingly. But he does punch through and steal Teddy's jacket, which I thought was funny. Well, so I thought that was kind of a call back to where it pulls off Sarah Michelle Geller's tiara. Yeah. But this does not come back.

She's the croaker queen. She's the croaker queen. Also, I was 100% sure that this took place somewhere in Oregon. Oh, no. No, it takes place in the Carolinas. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were like, should we, should we call 911? Yes, call 911. No, they were like, we just got to leave. We got to leave. This whole setup is so much dumber than them having just hit the person themselves. Yeah. Because, like, you could really just say you witnessed an accident. Yeah, we stopped to watch fireworks.

You don't even have to say that. you could have said the person was ahead of you and you saw them go off the cliff. Oh my God. You saw them go off the cliff. That's it. Yeah. Then you're just reporting an accident. Yeah.

Why? Why any of this? Uh, because remake? Yeah. That's the one. That's the one. That's one. Everybody wants to go, but Ava is like, I don't want to go.

They were like, they're going to know we were fucking around in the road. Just puncture one of your tires. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like, oh my God, we broke down. Yeah. Yeah.

So. What we're learning right now is that Katie is the person you need with you to commit minor crimes. Minor crimes? Minor crimes. Minor crimes. Minor crimes. Not E.R.

O.R. But not like with minors. Oh, yeah, no. No, it's on a boy come agreement. Stevie makes a big deal out of them being able to afford fancy lawyers and her not. Yeah. but when we see Ava next, she's doing lesbian porn? No, she's just getting finger-fucked in a bathroom.

No, she's not. Is she? Yeah. She met that woman on the airplane and then just getting fucking fingered in the bathroom. I thought that was a cover story for the fact that she's doing lesbian porn. No, no, no, no, they were fucking in the bathroom. I don't know. I'm saying no.

No, because they finish, the woman walks over to the sink, washes her hands, and she says, hey, nice to meet you. Yeah, that's why I thought it was a professional working relationship. I had a great time at work today. Thanks so much. Yeah, and if you work with when we do guest hosting on someone's podcast, we always say that, God, I had such a great time today. Thank you so much for having me. That's what it is.

But I also lean in and go, do it harder. That sounds like lesbian porn to me. But also a woman walked into the bathroom. I was very high, okay? I thought she worked at the studio. Leave me alone. No, she's fucking getting figured in the bathroom. Leave me alone.

Leave me alone. So she's getting fingered by a lady named Tyler. And Tyler has the worst occupation anyone can have. What is she? She's a podcaster. She's a true crime podcaster, which is like several tears below us. Way worse than us. Way scumier.

So they give her a ride into town and then her and my, yeah, Ava and Milo head off to the bridal shower. Right. This is a year later, one year later. One year later, sorry, yes. Yep, yep, yep. The podcast lady says that she was on Bloody Disgusting's best pods of 2024 list. And I was like, have we ever been on the, where aren't we on that list?

Do you think I thought the exact same thing? Why aren't we? Is that a real thing? Why aren't we? I don't know. We're like top shit, at least in our own minds. Come on bloody disgusting. Get on the ball.

Yeah, give us a call to tell us we've won. Get on the blower. Get on the horn. So Stevie's here at the bridal shower, and she is... Danica's bestie. Bestie. I'm so glad none of my friends call me diva. How about mommy?

So we see that Danica is opening a card at her bridal shower. She's opening all of her bridal shower gifts in a bikini. Sure. Like you do in North Carolina. I mean, if you look like you at Monica Trump, you'd be doing it too. I would. I would never not be wearing a bikini. Like, standing in line at fucking Trader Joe's.

I mean, Danica, stunningly beautiful woman, and having seen Ivanka Trump in person, also a stunningly beautiful woman. Where did you see her in person? When I worked at the Wharton School, the University of Pennsylvania,

she came up and bought a course pack from me. You should have punched her in her fucking face. I'm sure that would have gone over. It would have been neat because she then would have realized there was a human being standing in front of her. Yeah, yeah.

She came to the building where I work on this tour of, like, oil and gas. Oh, God. Because there was like an oil and gas. place across the hallway from us and she was like big into the like

working mom shit at the time and I was pumping at the time and I was like I went over to the oil and gas guys and I was like because I knew them a little bit yeah I was like can you ask her she wants to come over and watch me use my breast pump and they were like you're fucking gross go away she didn't she didn't come watch

I was hoping you your story was gonna be you gave a little squirt at her yeah just Pst Oh, anyway, what does the card say, Alan? The card says, I know what you did last summer. Because doy, of course it does. And then we see her groom.

It's not tan guy. It's not Teddy. It's not Teddy. It's Wyatt. New guy. New guy. Also, did you notice that Milo was the only male guest at the bridal shower? Yep.

And then is Milo gay? No, he is not. No. No. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. We learned that she and Teddy broke up shortly thereafter because men are petty and emotionally stunted. I was like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. This all checks out. I do appreciate that this movie was written and directed by women.

I thought that, and then I was so disappointed in them by the end. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah. So she immediately thinks that Teddy sent this message to her, that he's just fucking with her because she's getting married. it again. Right. We also see Wyatt just like hanging out and drinking and she's like he's kind of an alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why does that matter? It comes back up later as well. But not to any like real purpose. No. No. So we learned the name of the dead man was Sam Cooper. Sam Cooper, which I will continuously forget throughout the film. Good. Good. We go see Teddy. Yeah, Milo Stevie and Ava go to see Teddy. Teddy lives on a boat and wears tie-dye and has a bare chest like Captain Ron. And I'm here for it. That was

such a sexual awakening for me. Oh, sure. Oh, my God. Yeah. I feel like with Goldie Hawn also being in that, like you could, you could bounce around in that one. You talking about overboard? Oh, that's, no, I thought she was in Captain Ron. No. No. Sorry, sorry. I'm thinking, sorry, I got my Kurt Russell on a boat movies mixed up. You can't get your Kurt Russell on a boat movies mixed up. Come on. Who's the love interest in Captain Ron then? It's, um, oh, God. I don't, I don't know anyone other than Captain Ron. Let's see. Martin Short is the stressed out family man.

God, what a great fucking movie. Oh, yeah, we're starting another podcast for 80 comedy comedy movies. It's 1992. How very dare you. Oh, come on. It's the 80s. So I guess Teddy's a mess now, even though he's like buffer than I've ever dreamed of being.

Yeah, he is like the, his beautiful houseboat that he lives on is a little bit messy. So we are to take that is. But he gets mad at them for accusing him of sending the car and he kicks them out. Yeah. Well, he didn't see. And then we see Danica cleaning up post party and she hears a noise outside. I like that she walks up to the window like tits out like in her bikini and then it's like,

I'm going to cover myself up. I'm going to put these tits away. Yeah. I appreciate that. Then Wyatt comes home and is drinking wine directly from the bottle. But like chugging an entire bottle of white wine. And also like I feel like that's a great way to cut your. lips on the little metal bits you have to peel off.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Although the help probably really took that metal down for them. You're probably right. Yeah. Yeah. He tells her to go take a bath. She gets in the bath and drops in a blood red bathtub, bath bomb.

Yeah. No way. That would stain the fuck out of your tub. Oh, so this movie looks gorgeous. Beautiful. Yeah. And she puts on headphones to listen to like a meditation podcast. Right, because she's a woo-woo.

She's all woo-woo. And you're like, why it's the killer. But then the pool, lights turn on and are like, well, why it's not the killer? It's not the killer. And also, no one's died yet. So who is? Who's away?

And no one has been murdered to this point. He walks over to look at the lights and says, hello? Hello? Hello? Get shot with a harpoon gun. Oh, do you have a note that says he gets heart-pooned? I, no. Because the harpoon gun goes through his heart.

No, I get it. No, I got it. Heart-pooned. Absolutely no reason to explain that one. pooned. Very good. He says, take the code to my crypto wallet. Yeah.

Which I thought was funny. Because he gets heart pooned again in the tum-tum. Keep it coming. And we see the fishermen come in with a hook. And the fisherman's going to kill him. Right. And I don't, was this in the first movie that the fisherman was into like props and setting people up in specific ways? I don't think so.

Because he puts like a larger harpoon through his chin. Wait, maybe he does. To prop him up. And then there's a note behind him on the wall. What does it say? What does it say? It says, oh fuck, where did I read it? What does it say?

You can't erase the past. I feel like it should just say I know what you did love for. Sure, sure. Yeah. But I also like that she comes into the room and she's, like there's like candles and a wedding march playing she looks oh it looks it's very nuptial in here and then the wedding march turns into like a funeral march wedding march who's doing this who's changing it who's making this happen killers the killers you know that band from reno

Nevada uh only from salt lake city i can't remember which who cares oh come on mr bright size is a fucking bop no i know it's fine no i know it no i know it we're going to get fired for that. So he's dead. So the cops come and all of her friends come. And the immediate response from Ava is, or maybe it's Stevie is you're a hot widow. And I was just like, ew. Danica says, am I like a widow now?

And she goes, yeah, but you're a hot widow? And she's like, the hot was implied. God, this is wretched. Do you still do your skincare routine after your partner dies? It's like, Jesus Christ movie. Christ. So they go back to somebody's house, probably Danica's. Yeah.

And they're having, like, Danica and Ava are having this conversation about them drifting apart. Yeah. Where they're being, like, so open about their feelings and their interpersonal conflict. And I should have a hard time believing that young people could do it. that when people my age will just shit on your doorstep and walk away, you know. But also, like, Ava's just like, oh, things were so dark for me. And I was just like, movie, are you saying things were dark because she turned to lesbianism? What is this movie?

What are we saying here? I thought it was because she went to porn. So that's, it made sense to me. She also talks like she's got cheeks in her teeth. You know what I mean? Cheeks in her? Like her cheeks are between her teeth. I got her cheeks in our face.

And she's like, hey, let's cuddle. And then they lay down face to face. And I was like, that's not cuddling. That's not how cuddle works. No. One of you has to be a spoon. Someone has to be the big spoon. At this point, we are now believing that maybe it's Tyler.

Sure. Because I wrote here, I would kill someone for our podcast. Seems fine. Seems like a fine thought I was having. Because we see Tyler going around the town and she says stuff like, this town is so cute. It makes me want to die. And also she's like too beautiful for this world.

She's got uncanny valley almost happening like an alien sort of thing. And I was like, well, who is this person? So I'll look her up and I was like, oh, of course she's a model. Oh, she's in a punk band. But then I was like, oh, is she? But it was like a TV show punk band with Charlie XX. And I was like, what is? That's not a punk band.

Her name is Gabriette. Gabriette. She's a model name. One name. Yeah. You know what my name is? Alan's friend, Katie. You know what my name is?

What? Mud. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. All right. You get a primus reference, though. Well, yeah, I'm not stupid. Only stupid people don't understand privates. Yeah.

So I was also annoyed at this because didn't the scream movie also have a podcast and wasn't it those dead meat people? Oh, my God. Yeah. Remember how mean we were about them and I don't even care. I only got good feedback about being mean about the dead meat podcast because as like Nunah said, if you can't say something nice, say it quietly. But I said it out loud to everyone.

So we learned that Teddy's dad has scrubbed the old murders from the internet. You can't, I don't, can you do that? I don't know. I didn't realize this man was the mayor of the town for the majority of the film. I thought he was just rich. I thought he was, yeah, just like a real estate guy. Yeah, no, he's the mayor. He's the mayor.

I could look at the credits and they're like, as the mayor, Teddy's dead. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he said, my dad had all that shit scrubbed off the internet. It was hurting investor interests. Yeah. I don't, I mean, what? Also, the idea of, like, walking in the park while just, like, casually recording your podcast

into your phone is ladies and gents, not how it works. We've done those portrait records. you were attacked by praying. We did do porch records where we sat with our mics and our mixer and our laptop and, you know, the bare bones recording equipment that we've been using for 12 years now. Maybe it's different for the inhumanly beautiful. Yeah, maybe it's just easier for them. Yes.

So we learned that there was two survivors from the last, from the original murder. Which Tyler can only tell Ava about by being very sassy. Oh, she's got sexy secrets. She's got sexy secrets. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How on earth could this, could no children who grew up in this town know about this? There's just no way.

I feel like they know about, like our people know about it. No. No? I don't think so, do they? I don't know. They don't seem to. Because she recognized shivers on the t-shirt when Tyler shows that she has merch of the Croker Queen. She's wearing a Helen Shivers T-shirt.

Yeah. Which is Sarah Michelle Geller. Yes. no fucking mention of Sarah Michelle Geller's sister who was also murdered for no reason in that first movie played by the lady with Sonia Blade in Mortal Kombat Oh nice

I cannot remember her name Kylie McNogue Kylie Minogue No I wasn't that was street fighter I cannot wait for that new street fighter movie I'm deeply excited I love that for you Wait you're right because she says What did Julie live so she must have known about Julie

Yes Yeah yeah yeah she said yeah she's a professor at Hoffman, which I wrote, good for you, JLH. Yeah. So, Tyler's being weird, and she sends a text that says, don't get murdered. And I was like, isn't that the fucking tagline of my favorite murder? Oh, is it? It's like, be, like, pretty, don't get murder, or whatever the fuck it is.

Set that on fire. I don't even know if that's still a show. I'm sure it is. Good for them. They're making fucking bank, but not on the backs of people. who have really suffered. It's America, baby. Not for us.

We're the good guys. And we're the good guys. Are we the baddies? Not you and me. We're just doing movies. They already made them. We've got no say in anything. We've no power over anything.

We've only done one movie that I know people died on screen. That's true. Twilight Zone. Twilight Zone. Yeah. Way to go, John Landis. So, yes.

So they're going to some restaurant, which was one of the scenes of an original murder in the first movie. Right. In 97. Right. That's where the kid from Roseanne got killed. Oh. Remember that David from Roseanne?

I can't remember that actor's name. I want to call him Jared Padelicki, but that is not. That's the guy you love from Supernatural. God, you love soups. Don't say that. You know I can't handle it when you say that. You haven't said it to me in like five years. And I just...

It's back, baby. Soup snatch. Um, so the fisherman. This makes me feel like I'm in a swamp and I'm really sweaty and I have like sweaty crotch. Soup snatch. Soup snatch. It's disgusting.

Do you think that's why I say it? Yes. Yes. 100% key. So we get the fisherman costume. We get the fisherman costume here in the restaurant. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And Ava gets caught in a seafood cage that gets dropped from the ceiling. Lomster pot. Please. Please. It can't be so heavy that she can't lift it. I refuse to believe it's so heavy she can't lift it. You're right about that.

It's built so that lobsters can't lift it. Not like able-bodied 20-something women. Oh, man. What's her face? Tyler gets in the dumb waiter. We have a dumb waiter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This movie is, like, at this point, building tension by making me not care at all if she gets murdered.

minorly rooting for it when she sees the fisherman face to face she goes I'm a fan I'm a fan which is fucking disgusting and then she rips the hat off of the fisherman and says

you now question yeah oh answered in my own mind got it yes I assumed at this point that it was Milo

because that was the only other person she had seen. And then I thought about who the killer was. And I thought, but she'd never seen that person. Except. Yes. She, and then there is a scream reference here where she's hanging and they do the shot just

like the Drew Barrymore at the beginning of screen. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I rather like that, actually. Yeah. Nistalgia, baby. Was it Rose McGowan? They got stuck by her boobs in a garage door. I'm sure.

That's one of her proudest moments. Oh, so now we cut to J.L. age. Jennifer Love Hewitt. I will always be a fan of hers. Sure. No matter what she does. She's in your favorite movie.

She's in my favorite movie. Can't really wait. Yeah. Such a good movie. What t-shirt is she wearing? What t-shirt is she wearing? The Cure Disintegration. The Cure or Disintegration, I'm not sure I buy that for Jennifer Love Hewitz.

Sure. It's character Julie James. Yeah. But here we are. She's wearing it under a blazer. Although she's got to be my age, right? She's actually between us. Oh, is she?

I think she's like five years older than me. Okay. Okay. Yeah. But the, then I'm just. still might hit for her. Oh, I'm not saying it.

No, no, no, but like, her character. Sure. Yeah. So she would have been... Not age,

just lifestyle. Uh, how old would you have been in 1989? Five. Okay. So she would have been 10? 10 to 12. Okay.

Or maybe. So, but anyway, she's wearing like an all over print disintegration t-shirt. I was very excited about this. I was like woodwear. I was like woodwear.

I almost, my Robert Smith shirt to record this podcast. Just for the funsies of it. So Ava is trying to talk to her about... She just rolls up and says, Julie! Julie! Ava. At least say Mrs. Julie.

It's like the scene and can't hardly wait when Preston Myers is trying to talk to her and he like can't get the words out. This is what Ava is doing. So she gets mad and walks away and then comes back and she goes, I just have one question. What did you do last? I got to tell you something. What?

I hated that so much. Did you? I really did. They give her so many of these lines to say, what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? She doesn't do the spin, though. She should have done the spin. No, she should have put her tits to the wind and spun in circles.

I also forgot that Ryan Philippi was in the first movie. I could not come up with his last name and I just kept referring to him as the Delawarean. Why is he not in this? What the fuck is that guy doing? Nothing? Nothing. What was the last time you saw Ryan Philippi and something? Oh, no.

Let's find out. Oh, look it up. But you can go on. I'll stay here. Just leave me. No, no podcaster left behind. I can't leave you in Ryan Philippi land. Hold on.

He's still working. He was in two movies in 2024. What movies? Prey and St. Clair. Oh, shit. Is he doing Christian movies? P-R-E-Y. Oh.

Yeah. He was in two movies in 2023, three in 2022. Oh. He's out there. It's just nothing I've ever heard of. The last thing I heard of that he was in was McGruber. It's a good-ass movie. Yeah, I bet you think so.

Did you see that McRoover? I did not. Oh, it's really fun. At one point, there's celery up a butt. So. All right. So the cops are lying about Tyler's death. Right.

and there's a town hall going on and that's where they're lying about Tyler's death. Right. Look at all the southern weirdos that they pulled out for the extras for this. Yeah, in Oregon. Sure. Who rolls into the fucking town hall?

It's Freddie Prince Jr. And he is still a drop-dead hunk. Oh, my God. Holy shit. He's so tan and he's a silver fox and he's just... Got that silver stubble going on. Oh, my God. Freddy Prince Jr.

Yeah. Still married to Mr. Michelle Geller. I know. they're so cute so cute so cute skewed god I hate people's happiness we learned that he's Stevie's boss at the bar he owns the bar yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and we also learned that the local pastor

is uh his church church doors are always open that anyone who needs help pastor judah pastor judah yeah yeah um um so they have a chat with Freddie Prince Jr. I don't know what the fuck his character's name and I don't care. Freddie Prince is Ray. Ray. I call him exclusively FPJ.

Yeah. So they go have a conversation and they learn that he and Julie were married and it did not end well. Right. They hate each other. Yeah. They do not like each other. Oh, sorry.

Claire cognizant empathy was what her empath is. Fuck off. I guess it's clairvoyant cognizant empathy. I see. So they get the idea that they need to go find out whose car Sam Cooper had stolen that night and was driving. That's right. They do say at the town hall that it was a stolen car. Yes.

So they go to like the tow yard. Yes. And she starts crying. Ava starts crying to get her, like who amongst us hasn't cried to get our shit done is what I'm saying. All the time. Great. It works. Yeah.

Yeah. Every time. Especially if you see this guy crying. cry. It's serious when you start sobbing. So, yes, he helps them and they find out that Judah Gillespie was the owner of the car. Pastor Judah. We have Judah Gillespie and then a note that says, that's the pastor. That's the pastor.

While they're doing this, Teddy, excuse me, Teddy and Danica have gone to the cemetery to look at his grave? Sam Cooper? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, he's buried next to Helen Shivers.

Of course, for reasons. Yes. Yep. And there are fresh flowers on the grave. Yes. So they go to the cemetery guard. Groundskeeper.

Groundskeeper? No, cemetery guard. He's got a lot of surveillance footage. That makes him a cemetery guard. And they ask him to go through it to see who left the flowers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What happens to him? What happens to him? He gets killed. He gets killed immediately by the fish. So, so we just follow. Okay, fine. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So now Teddy and Danica are waiting. And then Teddy. He's like, I got a go-go-a-thing with the go-go-go-go. But there's also people drinking at a grave. And he's like, you guys got any extra beers? And they're like, get the fuck away from me, you fucking rich piece of shit.

Yeah. Fucking 1% asshole. Right. And then he wanders off. And so now Danica is left alone. And the killer appears out of nowhere behind her. And so now we're supposed to spectetti, I guess. I guess, yeah.

Is this where she finds the Croker Queen float setup? Yes, she goes, because she's seen... It's at the cemetery? It's at the cemetery. Why is it at the cemetery? That's where they keep all the floats. I see. You go down to Allegheny Cemetery, that motherfucker is filled with floats.

I do sometimes have a beer at our friend Carol's grave. Oh. Because I like to tell her how the pirates are doing. That's very sweet. Is that too sad for our comedy podcast? No. No. No.

Honoring your friends is never, never, never not funny. She finds the Croker Queen float set up. She seems terrified of it. Sure. We learned that she had been a Croker Queen, which means she had ridden on this very float, so she should know what the fuck it is. And she's also horny for being a mermaid.

Yes. We've learned this. She was just like, you know, I know I've got this vagina, but what if I just laid a bunch of row? That sounds fantastic. Edible babies. Once a month, I give caviar to all my friends.

Fresh from my body. What a friend. What a friend. we have in her. Would you eat your friend's caviar is the question you have to ask yourself. Yeah, that's a tough one, Alan. That's a tough one. It's that vegan.

Okay. So she hides under the float. She hides under the float. And the killer walks in and steps on the float and then punches their way through the float and pulls her up onto the float. Now, what is next year's Crocker Queen going to do? I know. Well, think of the Croker Queen, will you?

Her last words, if she were killed here, would have been, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. And I thought, Jesus Christ, put that on my tombstone. It was my last words. Even if I die and I don't say that, I want you to, like, put your hand on my face and be like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. So Teddy tackles the killer and the killer runs away, and he's able to save Danica. Here I have a note reminding me to remind you that I want to be buried tits out,

tits out with bell jars over them so they can see. Why would you have to remind me? You say it once every three weeks. Because I forget. I've got a tattoo that says it. Notes to self. Just on my chest it says bury her tits out. So they can see.

So they can see. But it's just going to, never. Oh, I need to know. Just each, each one is poking out of the dirt singularly. It's not her entire chest. No, right. That's how I want it. Two separate belled jars.

Yeah, perfect. Thank you. So they could say, did you see that to the other one? At least we'll be able to see each other, not like those trolls and death stalker. Jesus Christ. So JLH is eating, uh, fucking coach's wife's glass of wine. Mm-hmm. And she's got cameras all around the house because she hears a noise and she checks her cameras.

Right. And I was like, is she older than? me? Is she a fucking boomer? Why she got all these cameras? Because she's been stalked and nearly murdered in two movies. Yeah. She also has motion detectors, which I fucking hate. I get it. Front door open. Yeah. Oh my God. My parents said that shit would drive me insane. That's because they wanted to keep you sneaking out of the house and impregnating someone. Just do it in the house. Do it in the house. But it's, it's Freddie Prince Jr. at the door. Yeah. She said, I thought,

someone was coming to murder me. I don't know which is worse. Also, she pulls kitchen scissors to go and confront him at the door. And I was like, dog, it's America and you're nervous. You own a gun. She owns a gun. You own a gun. You live in North Carolina.

Yeah, yeah. Like, if you reach a certain level of nervous, that someone just shows up and like, here's a gun. Yeah. Yeah. It becomes part of your American flesh. Just shoot the next person who knocks on your door. Oh, God.

That just made me so sad. Yes, let's move on. Let's talk about something that will make you happy, which is Freddie Prince Jr. yelling at her for telling Ava to investigate. Yeah. And he says something like, do you think this is Scooby-Doo?

And I was like, oh, that's definitely a reference to you and Sarah Michelle Geller meeting on the set. Or do they meet on this set? I think, I believe they met on the set of, I know what you did last summer. Oh, that would have been like 97.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they were both in the Scooby-Doo movies. It's very funny. Very cute. Scooby-Doo movies are not bad. Really? Full of horror. icons. Matthew Lillard.

Isn't a Linda Cardalini Thelma? She is. She is Valma. Which is just like, like, I feel like as a young heterode dude, you're either a Thelma dude or a Daphne. Velma. Velma. Vemma. Sorry. Either a Velma dude

or a Daphne dude. Yeah. And I was very much a Velma dude. I like that they have someone hot playing Velma because it's like Velma was always hot. Yeah. Also, if you ever want to search the internet, I don't. Hot doma is a thing.

Not that I would know. It's probably lesbian porn shit if I have to be honest with you. Oh yeah, that's out there too. Yeah, sure. Let's just say sometimes she loses her glasses. Oh, boy. So, yes, this is very cute when he brings up Scooby-Doo. Yeah.

I also feel like the writers put that in there to embarrass him just a little bit. Sure, sure. They have to bring Brady Prince Jr. down a peg. Bring that beautiful man down a peg. Yeah, don't let him just be beautiful everywhere you want. He's like, you know how much money I made for that? And I got to hang out with Matthew Lillard and Linda Cardalini. And my wife.

My wife. I like when I say it, you're like, actually, you've said it wrong. You put a little bit too much josh on it. Well, I'm a josher. So we're back at Danica's house. Yeah, no one sleeps alone. They're going to all have sleepovers. Yeah, no one sleeps alone.

So her and Teddy are going to sleep in the same bed. Right. Because her fiancé is dead yesterday. Dead yesterday. Dead yesterday. New dick. Who does? Meet the new dick same as the old dick.

So Ava Milo are sharing a room together. He's wearing a pinky ring. It's gross. And they start talking and then they just start trying to hook up. Yeah. That's fine. And then she says, choke me, punish me. I deserve it.

Yeah. She accelerates a little too hard. No, it's just men can't handle sexually confident women. who know what they want. I feel like there needs to be a discussion ahead of time. If you're going to go to punish me. I disagree because you're not doing anything to this person. No, no, I know, but just like,

Hey, are you cool with this? This is going to happen. It's okay if that's her king, you know. Oh, 100%. I'm just saying, get it out there ahead of time. Hey, who do I know? At this point I had all my money on Milo being the killer. Sure.

Yeah. Sure. I was going still Tyler. Tyler's dead. Yeah, I know. We've seen these movies. That's true. Tyler's reanimated corpse.

So he goes outside and goes into his car to find his charging cable for his phone. Yep. And he's talking to himself in a way that no one ever talks to themselves. Yeah. Gets locked out of the house. Yeah. And then he goes around back and the killer puts a rope around its neck. chokes him out and then breaks his neck.

So I don't think he's the killer either. But Ava looks outside where he was just standing and the killer has removed his body already. Right. Quick, this killer. Yeah. And then she sees his car driving away. And she receives a text and say, hey, I need some space. I'll call you when I'm ready.

He's that upset because he's a little pussy bitch. No, it's not. He's dead. I mean, also, I've met dudes. Yeah. And I am one. And it doesn't take you that long to be like, okay, I'm going to go up with this. Yeah.

Wait, is, is penis and thrusting involved? I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's men. Men can't handle sexually confident women. This is my new platform. There is a line later in this movie that I, like, goffawed at.

I can't wait to hear it. Yeah. So, uh, uh, Eva and Danica go to see the pastor. Yeah, he's such a cool. creed because obviously. And then, but like, also they sent Danica to be the one to investigate his office and I was like, word? Wait, you think she's stupid because she's pretty?

No, she's stupid because she's stupid. She's stupid because she's stupid. Yeah. You remember that movie where Johnny Knoxville was a pastor? Oh, yeah. I started thinking a lot about that with that woman who was so beautiful, but can't act. Oh, yeah. But she's in a ton of stuff.

Yeah, because she's so fucking beautiful. Yeah. She has insane eyes. Yeah. But I also feel like Friddy Prince Jr. might be in that boat as well. Oh, yeah. I mean, he didn't get a lot of work after Scooby-Doo. They living on that Buffy money.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Was he Freddie in Scooby-Doo? I guess it had to be. Yeah. He wasn't Scoop. Certainly not going to be Shaggy. No, that's a Lillard.

That's a Lillard, if I've ever seen one. I believe that's like his full-time job now is doing voiceover for Shaggy. Good for him. Yeah, yeah. I've heard in many places that he's a very nice man. Oh, yeah. He seems to be. Although that one movie I saw him and he was very,

mean. What was that? When him and Skeet Ulrich were being mean to people? Yeah, Skeet Orrack. Him and Skeen Orrick. The photocopy of Johnny Depp. But like one that you carried around your wallet for a while. Yeah, well, you gotta jerk it to something. On the go.

Oh, man. He was in the craft, too, wasn't he? Yes, he's the love interest in the craft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, Stevie's co-worker from earlier in the movie works at the church. And then you're like, is, she the kid?

Yeah, we're back on that train. You don't really get her name. Hannah. That's whatever. So we learned that Judah lost one of his flock one year ago. Right.

And he's got to give her a book about grief. Right. So he goes to his office and he gets that book about grief. Teddy is in a steam room at this point. Yep, he's at the gym. He goes a little sauna. Steam rooms are so claustrophobic.

That's what a sauna, steam room's the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, somebody was killed in the steam with a message at the end of the first movie, right? Sure. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. All right. But also, they wrote the killer in this movie, right? You're next on the class? And I was like, yo, that movie is dope. That movie is dope. I'm going to rewatch that.

It's really good. I just recommended to Vicky because I think she will love it. Oh, I think she'd fucking adore it. She just saw Ready or Not and was like, do you know about this movie? And I was like, yeah, I fucking know about this movie a horror movie podcast. I'm worried. She's like, I think he's like,

I think you would like it. And I was like, well, if you listen to every episode, then you would know that I did. I'm still excited for Ready or Not, too, even though it got very bad reviews. Did it get very bad reviews? Yeah. Yeah. And Samara Weaving's press for that was amazing because she was like super pregnant. Oh, really?

And just like fresh out of give a fuck. It's really good. Yeah. Good for her. At one point, I saw some interview. Sorry. And the interviewer was like, it was like some podcast and you're like, do you ever do coke? And she's like, oh, hell yeah.

Like, you're still doing Coke? She just points at her stomach because she's for super pregnant. She's, no. No. God, imagine doing Coke pregnant. You would be so tired and so wired. Just the baby just kicking bruises into you. Sounds like the beginning of Hot for Teacher.

So yeah, he's at the gym because he's going to get ready for this fucker. Right, because that's what you, you want to be sore when he shows up. What your fucking biceps to hurt? Um, uh, oh, and, uh, they, so the, the, the ladies have gone to, Ava and Danica have gone to the cops and been like, hey, we think it's Judah. We think Judah is the killer. Yeah. We have no real reason for believing that.

No, just, well, that's Sam Cook, Sam Cooke. Yeah. Sam Cooper also died in a very, uh, sketchy way. It's a, very sketchy way. The, Sam Cooper, um, was a member of his flock. see that there's a picture of him together with Sam Cooper. But we don't look at anybody else in that picture. No, why would you?

No, why we didn't see if anyone else we know is in this photo. No. Not anyone that I'm very, very, very, very, very, very, very close friends with. So imagine seeing me and a photograph and it not popping out to you. And then later looking at it and being like, hot damn. That's my friend Alan. It's stupid. Anyway, Teddy gets killed.

It doesn't matter. Yeah. Well, he goes back to the. dock. I think he was at his house because the gate keeps opening and closing at his palatial estate. And he's like, oh, no. I think his boat is in his parents' dock at the house. I see.

It's a special dog. Yes. Okay. And I was like, well, it's definitely his dad. It's got to be his dad. Exactly. Would he really hunt and kill his own son to save this town? Yes, because capitalism.

So don't use mannequins or statues or whatever in dark hallways that you're not able to tell that a killer is standing in front of it. Why do people have these set up in their homes? I don't know. Are you a fashion designer? Keep them in your studio. That's a big house. You definitely have one.

Also, he's just drinking in a suit in his own home like you do. Sure. Why wouldn't you take your suit off? Oh, when I crack a beer, I put a suit on. I've ever been here. I'm drinking in my own home wearing leggings because I'm a yokel. Home wearing my shorty short of gym shorts. Because you're a yokel.

So he doesn't notice the killer. they get into a fight. The killer stabs him up with his hook. His dad doesn't hear him screaming because he's listening to the music. And or he's cool with it. It's the note that I have. He's not. He's not cool with it.

The killer drags Teddy away. Daddy comes and finds Teddy. Teddy dies in dad's arms. The killer kills Dad. Dad dies in Teddy's arms. He die intertwined. Like the lovers. The ladies are still kept at the jailhouse.

but now like crazy stuff's happening because um danica has a dream while they're in the jailhouse and in her dream is SMG baby she looks so fucking good yeah this is what good money plastic surgery gets you is looking like Sarah Michelle Giller yeah see also Hathaway comma Ann yeah and hydrating constant I got I'm gonna drink water just when you said that yeah yeah you got a hydrate constantly I mean I did drink an icy light mango so that's me practically water Macy water. It's obviously Pittsburgh water. Hey, it's mostly water. This is just from the tap

anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a filter on my refrigerator, but it just takes too long, see? So I just drink it from the tap. That's why you've got to get the whole house filter. I, look, I'm not made of money. I don't, not like me.

So, um, Sir Michelle Geller is there with, uh, a dead man who I couldn't figure out if it was Teddy Milo. I think it's Milo because his braceleted arm falls out the door. No, it's neither of them. It's Wyatt.

Oh, that's right. It's Wyatt. Yeah. It's the, it's the enfianceed. Right. Because she starts telling Danica that she is the reason her husband, her enfiance is dead. Right. In the dream.

And she says, stay in the dream as long as you can. Nothing good is waiting for you on the other side. Yeah. And then SMG turns into a goddamn zombie. Yeah, this, this CGI is shit. Yeah. Seeing her is great. The CGI is trash.

Exactly. And then the cops are running around. The cop comes in and he's like, you guys can call, I guess. Yes, you guys. Because Teddy and the mayor have been murdered while they were in custody, so they are not the killers. Correct.

Yeah. So far, like 10 people have been killed and only two of them were involved in the incident, which is Teddy and Milo. But they're strung up like the fucking shark in jaws. Right. It's very weird. And then we see Pastor Judah is dead too just for fun. Yeah.

They're like, look, we got to clear out all the red herrings. And also, Milo's car is there. So they run up to the car and find dead Milo. This is when his bracelet and arm falls out the door. Yeah, and Ava's like, let me take that bracelet. Yeah, that's mine now. It's like in Deathstalker, you got to search the bodies. So stupid.

Oh. And this is where we find out who the killer is, right? Yeah, we see Stevie standing next to fucking Sam Cooper in a photograph we've already seen. Yep. This is where the movie went. This is where the movie went to shit for me. Okay. Okay.

Honestly, going on a murdering spree because your high school friends weren't that nice to you. Like, okay. Wait, can I do that? Allegedly. I do have a note that says, I didn't suspect her well-done movie. Really? Yeah, I didn't. I knew Stevie was never on my bucket list.

Because she was present when the killer was murdering the podcast lady. Exactly. She was outside the door. But, dun-da-d-d-d-d-ton. Don't, don't, don't. They're on a boat now, by the way. Yeah, yeah, because they stole a boat to leave the dock. Is it not Teddy's boat?

It might be Teddy's boat. Who knows? And they show, she reveals that she's the killer. And she complains about how hot it is to be in the Fitzerman's costume. Danica calls her a cunt in the bad way, where she's like, you're a cunt. Not like, I, you cunt. Not like she spends all day at the fucking pub. Yeah.

So there's a fight, and we see. FPJ is coming. FPJ is coming. On his boat. And he gets up with a little dingy and gets on there. I wrote, how did she do all this alone?

Are you going to try to tell me that Freddie Prince Jr. did it? Yes. Yes. This is so bothersome because he's accused of being the killer in the first two movies. Yeah.

And I just feel like making him the killer in this one is a bit. Me. I do like that he shoots Stevie off the boat. He does. And then later on in the movie, they're like, but you shot Stevie off the boat. And he goes, did I? But he did.

But he didn't. But he did. You obviously didn't stick around until after the credits. I stuck around. Oh, did you? Okay, okay, okay, okay. I only did because a friend was like, you need to watch the post credit sequence because you're going to love it. Yes.

So, um, the last line of the movie is, oh, by the way, Stevie's alive. Yeah. What? Anyway, go on. So, um, Ava reports to J-Lo or J-Loo, uh,

that, um, J-Lo U, that, um, it was Stevie and immediately, Jennifer Love Hewitt is like, oh,

fuck, it's Freddie. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Imagine being a grown-ass man being like, yeah,

let's kill your high school friends. Like, his motivation is to keep the original murders in the public consciousness or bring them back. to the public consciousness, but in order to do that, he teams up with his employee whose friends weren't nice enough to her. Uh-huh. But also who killed her friend, because Sam Cooper was her friend.

They didn't kill her friend. She also killed her friend, if that's the case. Yeah, but they didn't want to go to the... Yeah, but she could have. But... So, she immediately suspects Fred, and he takes his jacket off. We see this kind of bandages on his arm from where Ava cut him earlier in the movie. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She tries to leave, but she's locked in. She's locked in. Yeah, they fight. They fight. Jay Lohue shows up. Yeah. He says, happy 4th of July, Julie, which is a very stupid and funny line.

So they, uh, eventually, uh, he gets heart-pooned by Ava. Got it. He does, though. Yes, he does. And then, uh, they say a statement that I very much agree with. But what's that? Fuck the 4th of July. Oh, see, I love hot dogs and beer and fireworks.

I know you do. I know you do. Is that the thing that? made you laugh? No. Okay. One thing she says to him before he dies is she goes, it's 1997 again. Isn't that nostalgic?

Or he says that to J. Lo Hugh. And she says, nostalgia is overrated, which feels very fucking shitty for them to have written into this movie. But like, nostalgia is a very toxic emotion. And here we are making our living outfit, guys, huh? We? No, them. Oh, them.

Yeah. Yes. The writers of this film. Yeah. This is where she does the, what are you waiting for, huh? What are you waiting for? you waiting for right in his face. Doesn't he spin around.

Anyway, yes. Danica watches up on shore. She sure does. So the ladies leave the hospital together, Ava and Danica. Yeah. They go to get food. Yeah.

And this is the line that made me laugh. What's that? Men should go to therapy. This would have all been solved by a man going to therapy. And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is obviously this movie was made by ladies.

Yeah. The last line of, I, was wrong about the last lines of the movie. It's, I forgot to tell you that Stevie's alive. Should we kill her? Yeah. I like that too. Tell me about the post-credits sequence. So the post-credit sequence. Yeah. We see one brandy. Oh, my God. Speaking of a well-preserved human being. I just recently saw her in a Disney movie where she's playing Cinderella. Oh, okay. Not Spinderella. No. Well, she was the black Cinderella. Remember the whole thing? I feel like we talked about this potentially last week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's hanging out with her husband. She's watching the news. She looks beautiful. Brandy Norwood, you crazy bitch. I never knew her last name. There's a knock of the door. Not a real fan.

It's true. I couldn't remember her name, so I had to Google Moisha to get back to Brandy. Wow. Not uncommon for me just to stick with someone's name in a movie or TV show as their name. So she's learning about the name. the murders on TV. Brian from wings. Brian from wings. Okay. I'm not. You know, snake pliskin from that fucking,

Captain Ron. Captain Ron movie. So there's a knock of the door. Yeah. It's J.Lo Hugh. It's J. Lo Hugh. And they're like, girl, which I love. After Brandy has seen her just immediately prior on the news. On the TV. Yeah.

And she shows her a picture that on the back of it says, this isn't over. And on the front of it, it's Brandy and J. Lo Hugh, and Brandy is exed out. Yes. And she's like, I'm going to need you. Brandy's like, I'm in. Yeah. If you're willing to do this, and she's like, I'm in.

And then, and then she turns around and there's a washing machine and dryer right next to her. She opens the dryer and a pair of tennis shoes shoot out. And she says, I love what that happens. It didn't happen. And I'm pissed at this movie for that. They've got to be making another movie with Brandy. I got to tell you something. What?

I'm excited for it. I'm excited for it, too. I think it's going to be great. So this movie had me in the first two and a half act. Sure. It lost me in the second half of the third act. It brought me right back in the post-credit sequence. Post-credit sequence was like a beautiful kiss.

I thought she had been killed in the second movie. Yeah, I thought she was dead. Maybe. But clearly not. The boy is my. Oh, shit. Brandy and Monica. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Katie. What? We're moving on to the ratings phase. You want to rate this, bad boy. Yeah. You go first.

I had a really fun time watching this, which I did not expect. I thought this was going to be straight up trash. Yeah. And especially, like, the newer screen movies I have not been super into. I feel like we really liked the last two with Jenna Ortega. Maybe. But in retrospect, I find them not great. In my mind's eye, they suck.

It's like how New Metallica kind of taints old Metallica for me. For sure. I mean, since this means nothing, I'm going to give this a 6.5. Sure. It means nothing either. I'm going to match your 6.5. Oh, yeah. I mean, you could do way worse than watching this.

We've done way worse. Watch this rather than a Death Stalker, the original. Oh, the original. Yeah, yeah. Not the fucking 11. Yeah, I mean, it's a basic slasher, no real jump scares, no real gore, no real anything. No tits. But, you know, Mustafa is toxic emotion, but yet here we are.

Yeah, you get these. stars that you love. Yeah. You get to see J-Lo Hugh in a, a cured disintegration t-shirt. Very cute. Katie. What?

Can I read a letter or an email that we received? I like that you call them letters. Letters to us electronically. Letters to Cleo. Letters that Cleo kind of ruled. Sure. Yeah. Remember she's the vocalist for Josie and the Pussy Cats?

Oh, what? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Another fantastic film. Hello, Alan and Katie. Alan is spelled wrong. That will come back up. Is Katie spelled correctly?

Of course it is. Katie. I've been listening since the early, early episodes, but unfortunately, I fell into hard times and gave up on things that gave me joy, so I'm working my way through old episodes I missed. Oh, baby. About two years behind. Welcome back. I just finished the Night Beast episode where Katie mentioned wanting the Montreal t-shirt.

Instead of working, I decided to start searching. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the exact shirt, but I got this closest that I was able to find. Just wanted to let you all know that it's out there. Kind of. There's also a lot more I would love to say and talk about. However, I'll keep this email shorter and to the point. However, if you all want to, wouldn't be opposed,

I would love to send more and tell you more about me. I would love that. Follow up. Alan, so sorry I spelled that wrong. Was writing while at work quickly. Didn't exactly proofread it by the time I noticed it had already hit sent. Oh, please, never apologize. I'm always.

We're old famulance means never having to say you're sorry, remember? Oops, I guess I should have finished the very episode where someone else already found the actual shirt. And I believe it was you that found the shirt. No, someone sent it to me. Oh, that's right. That's right. Someone sent it to me on Twitter, I think. All right.

Rip. I mean, it's still there. Either way, it allowed me to finally build up the courage to send an email to an amazing podcast that had brought me joy over the years. I never bought the shirt. No, you did. Is the link in the original, that email that they just sent you? Yes, but it's not that shirt. It's okay.

Send it to me anyway. I'm probably going to buy it. Look, I'm in a buying spree right now. I'm in a buying phase. Sincerely, Rusty A. Rusty A, I'm sorry to hear that you went through hard times and gave up on things that brought you joy because that's really heartbreaking. But I'm glad you've come back around to, I find it hard to believe that it's us.

But I'm glad that it's, I hope it's helping. Yeah. And feel free to send us the longer version of your email. Reach out to us. We will not share that on the internet. No. Just, yeah. Thank you so much.

Thanks. This is a shout. Everybody's so fucking nice. I hate it. This town is so beautiful. It makes me want to die. I'm that way. You know what I think

the last words in this movie should have been? Let's be girls. Let's go be girls. God, I wish Parker Posey was in that movie. Fuck. The one we just did. Yeah, think about a movie that wouldn't be better

if Parker Posey showed up in it. There's not such a thing. No. If she'd walked into Death Starker in 1983. If she'd walked into City, citizen kane he'd be like mutts my girl is she rosebud god i love her so much she's my rose bud she just paved a path for weirdos yeah 100% like the fact that she's in sleepless in seattle as or you've got male whichever yeah as tom hanks his girlfriend is just like she's obnoxious in what world and i fucking love it

yeah you're you meant to hate her and you're just kind of like parker posey fuck this daughter i want to hang out with her i love her in um dazed and confused when she says the line. Wipe that face off your head, bitch. Take that face off your head, bitch. They did a remake of Lost in Space and she shows up in it and it's just like, well, this now became the best TV show I've ever watched my life. Remember when she was Gail Weathers and the Gail Weathers movie?

God, it's so good. Oh, man. We should do this again next week. It's so fun. It is so fun. You want to do it again next week? I do. What do you want to do?

I picked a movie. You tell me what? it is. It's called Nightmare City. It's an... Lion goes, you can say yes or no. It's an Italian...

Italian zombie movie. And I was like, yep. It's very exploitative, but I think in a fun way... Mm-hmm. Ugh. Yeah. Yeah, I'm excited.

It's not as gross as burial ground. Which one was burial ground? Mama. Oh, I had to say with Mama and it got you. You know, sometimes... I lament my bad memory, but sometimes it protects me, you know. It really does. Oh, fuck.

Oh, God. It would be so good. I got to go. So we're going to do Nightmare City. I think it's got like a hundred different names, but it's just look up Nightmare City. It's great. You're going to love it. Every time a zombie touches a woman, her shirt flies off.

It's fucking ridiculous. That's all I want in this world. And there's like jazzercising. It's fucking great. It's canon. And Hugo Stiglitz is in it And in Night of A 1000 Cats I can't wait to do that movie

And thanks everybody who's a patron Yeah we just recorded series two episode one Of Nice On Me before this Yeah yeah yeah Oh it's come to all god is so good Oh it comes out swinging and so do we We will be doing a most likely blood sport movie this month on that Yep

Looking forward to that Thanks for everybody who's been buying shirts and all that jazz. People still buying that stuff. Yeah. Could have good give Justin Gray some money and get some new shirts. I don't get any money for them. No, I'm just kidding. I just like giving Justin Gray money too. I actually still owe him for the two country to dye shirts, but he won't, he won't let me pay him. That's just for you. You can cut that out.

And be kind to each other. Be kind to yourselves. And thanks for listening to another episode of Wear Wolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye. Let's go be girls. Could be girls.