Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 565- Ready or Not 2: Here I Come (2026)

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

In this week's episode, we're discussing the sequel to a movie that we absolutely adored-- it's the 2026 film "Ready or Not 2: Here I Come." Special topics for your consideration include: a veritable cavalcade of beloved stars, shirtless men, the real Satanists, "Warriors"-esque factions, great names for cats, and fuckin golf carts. Did you miss us discussing the first film in the series? It's Episode 371. You  can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes, including oir upcoming episode on "Hard Ticket to Hawaii." We are also getting into the meat of our second season of "Nice One, Mate!" which is FREE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A PATRON. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously we have the best EMTs, hands down.

Welcome. Oh, Thank you. Ready or not two. What is this intro? I don't know. I'm breaking down. What are you doing?

You are breaking down. Katie. Alan. It's sweaty up here. It is. We're doing another horror movie podcast. This is the thing we do weekly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For these kids out here listening. What's up, kids? Hi, kids. How are you doing? Oh, you do, fellow kids. Kids, I'm sure our immediate age is like 35 of listeners. That's a child. Oh, yeah.

In this day and age? In this, in this economy? We're doing ready or not, too. I was so excited about this. Here I come. Yes. Oh, you said you were so excited about this. I am still so excited about this.

Oh, continue to be. Yes. Samar weaving, arguably patron state of this podcast. One of the, one of the, yeah. Catherine Newton. Your girl forever. Yeah. You know, I'm also vying for her to be a patron saint.

How many do we get? As many as we want? How many, how many, how many Catholic Church got? A Brazilian. So we can have Judy Greer too. Oh yeah, of course. And it's, it's not just blonde white ladies. I want to throw it out there.

No, no, no. No, no. We've also got, um, hmm. Sarah Michelle Gell, oh, fuck. This movie has everybody. Everybody you want to see anything. Yeah, this movie I feel like I'm going to come out of the gate saying it is kind of me in terms of the actual movie, but it's so fun to see these people that you like.

so much. Yeah. Who doesn't love Sean Hottosi? The guy from the pit. The guy from the pit. Yeah. Are you watching the pit finally? Did you get in the?

I ringed it for a while and now I'm off it again. Okay. Yeah. It's a lot. I was okay. Okay. I don't care about people dying. J.K.

Did you get to the birth scene? Yes. Oh my God. That was so good. I talked to Vicki about that scene and she's like, it would never happen that they would come down and be like, okay, now yeah, yeah, you can finish it. But still, to see a crowning baby on. TV was like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Look at that shit. I definitely winced. You say winked? Uh-huh. Me and the baby both. You know, I can't wink. I mean, let me, just quickly.

Samar weaving. Catherine Newton. Sarah Michelle Gallup. SMG. SMG, baby. Sean Hottosi. David fucking Cronenberg. When I saw David Cronenberg's name pop up, I was like, that's a fun surprise for me.

And I could really use a fun surprise. Sure. Yeah. Elijah. God damn Wood who was loving life to be in this movie. He's so cute. He's so cute. Is there anybody cuter than Elijah Wood?

No. Other than me, there's no one I can think of. That's fair. And he's such a fan of the genre. There was a few props. I was like, he brought that from home. You think so?

Like his head's head thing. I also thought when we see the giant painting of Kernenberg, I was like, I bet Elijah Wood took that. I really wish I owned that. Yeah, it's pretty great. It's so good. Nestor Carbonell, who fucking refuses to age. Is he the guy with the machine gun who misses a million times?

Yes, yeah. He is Ignacio El-Giado. The woman from The Warrior is in this, Olivia Chang. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been seeing her in a lot of things lately, and I really like her. And just like, it's just like everybody hits. Everyone's having so much fun. Yeah. What a delight.

Oh my God. It's so good. So this movie picks up right where the first one leaves off with her sitting and smoking on the front steps, which I remember because I watched the first movie like two weeks ago. Oh, really? Because I've been rewatching horror movies that I love because I've been kind of sad. Sure. So I watched this. I watched Ready or Not. I watched Final Girls. I watched Lottomo Squalo. Yeah. I've been hitting the hits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I think you meant you're next when you said Ready or Not because this is Ready or Not. I meant your next... They're very similar films. Yes, and both highly enjoyable. Both so fun. Only one of them do you get to see Ty West die. Patrice's the podcast. Is he?

I thought, oh, right, he's not a Zionist. We figured it out. Why were we so mean to Ty. Why have I sent my whole life being mean to Ty West? He's fine. Because these were Westchester and you just have a thing. I hate that. It's like Ty West, the Boyles, Plow United, things like I just don't walk him

goodbye. No. The jackass dudes. Dude, someone is so. stoked that I just mentioned Plow United by the way. I don't even know what it is. I just gated right by. I do like that this movie is rated R for pervasive language.

What could it be? So yeah, she's smoking a cigarette. I even know it's a damn shame what we did to Amy Winehouse. It's a damn shame. Why are you saying this now? Because Amy Winehouse song is playing at the opening to this film. Every time I am reminded of Amy Winehouse, I was like, man, as a society we let that person.

Really? I don't know much about any of my house if I'm being honest with. Yeah. We could have been nicer to her. We could have been kinder. Okay. We didn't? We weren't. No. We weren't. No, no, no. Treated very badly. That sucks. Why did we do that? You don't know. We're scumbags. So, what happened to you? In-laws.

That's the last line of the first movie. So good. Then she faints and is taken into an ambulance. Yeah. And when she wakes up, she is cuffed to a hospital bed. Yeah, yeah. She flatlines a couple times in the ambulance. She does.

But they save her. Yeah. So now she's, yes, she wakes up handcuffed and there's a detective. Yeah, detective. Talking to her. He calls her Mrs. Ladomas. And she says, Miss McCulley. And he says, it says here you married Alex Ledomas.

And she says, it didn't work out. Also, you don't just get their last name by marrying them. That's not how anyone works. No, you have to do paperwork. Like social security. Yeah, there's like $80 has to extramers. change hands with somebody, although it's probably more than that at this point. You can change it for free with Social Security.

Oh, okay. Okay. So, yes. So, and then she gets a visitor. Who's the visitor? It's Catherine Newton. Yeah, her sister. Her emergency contact. For a woman named Faith McCulley, she's wearing a real big Italian horn.

I couldn't tell them it was just a chili pepper or what was called on there? Oh, I think it was a horn. I thought it's because she got a spicy lady. Maybe it is a chili pepper. Maybe you're right. They are so well cast. like batty sisters. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I did not expect Catherine Newton to be that much taller than Zaharan Yeah. You love her so much. She's great. She's fucking hilarious. She is fucking hilarious.

And she comes in swinging. Yeah. Chewing gum into the hospital, which for some reason cracked me up. Yeah. She's got a hot boyfriend named Derek. Yeah. There's clearly some bad blood between the two, some unresolved issues. And Grace says that she had just forgotten to remove her as her emergency contact.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny because Grace later says, like, I tried to contact you to invite you for the wedding, but she had written down her name and phone number as the emergency contact, and it must still be her name and phone number because they called her as the emergency contact. So come on, Bo. Come on, Bo.

Don't lie. So she tells her the whole story of what happened in the first movie. Where it's like I made it until dawn and my lip stain still looks incredible. Bullshit. That's that weaving blood. Yeah. If your uncle is Hugo Weaving, you can't let him tell him. Who is Hugo Weaving?

You played Elron in the Lord of the Rings movies. He's a... No shit! Detective Anderson in The Matrix. Oh, okay. Is that his name? I don't think so. It doesn't matter.

Who would know? Nerds. So she tells her what happened, including... maybe seeing the devil. Yes, Mr. LaBale. Mr. LaBale. Mr. LaBale. Which is just Belial screwed up.

Oh. Yeah. Good work. Alucarda. I feel like we need to do that movie again. I feel like you're primed to get back into Alicada or Monster Squad. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Both. Dr. Acula. Dr. Acula. Dr. Acula. No, it was Alucarda. It was Alucarda. It was Alucar.

It was Alacardi. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do Alicarta again. I did fuck up on that. I don't think you fucked up, but I think I have broken you down enough. Oh, my God, yes. You're ready to find the hilarity of the devil walking around in order to go, having a good time?

Yes, you're right. I'm so damaged at this point. Thank you. Yes, look what I've done. Sicko. I fucking love the sicko so much. Oh, my God. Yes.

One of my coworkers just has a bumper sticker that's just the sicko. And I was like, I've seen that car. I have seen that car. They also have a bumper sticker that it's a Subaru and it's got the lesbian flag on. It said it's what makes a Subaru a Subaru. Very good. I saw a Subaru with a sticker recently that said Jeep drivers wave, Subaru drivers pull over and kiss.

Embrace it. I love it. Yeah. So we cut to David Cronenberg in his deathbed watching the news. I love him so much. much. I will always love David Cronenberg. He can never do anything wrong by me. We stand a Cronenberg. We stand a Cronenberg. This kid's all right, but he's pretty great. He's the fucking best. So he's watching about a war that's going on. And then like makes a phone call.

He's like, end it. He says approve the Seasfire. And then the Chiron appears that says Seasfire approved. Matt fucking, I would let David Cronenberg run this country. You would let a Canadian take this country over? Yes, they are so much. I would also let Mark Carney run this country, you know, he's better than us. I can let Elijah Wood do it too. He Canadian? No, he's American. Okay.

He's one of ours. Come on. If we're going to hire, if we're going to elect a celebrity, why is it not Elijah Wood? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He did do a movie called Come to Daddy. That's a horror movie that we should probably do at some point. Come to Daddy. So, Elijah. I'm sorry. I just love that after Samara, we, Grace finishes telling her sister this story. Her sister goes, you are so going to jail.

Yes, it's not whether or not I believe you. It's just I'm acknowledging that you're fucked. You're so fucked. Yeah. Okay, no, go on, go on. So Elijah Wood comes in after he ends the, does the ceasefire, comes in and doesn't the news about the Lodoma's family. They are no more.

Yeah. So now this has triggered all the families have to get together to do a thing. I like that he opens the group text between all the families. And the most recent texts were a picture of grace strapped to the table, the sacrificial table from the first movie. And it just says, crazy night, lull. And there was no way that this movie was going to be as good as the first one. Absolutely not. Because you have, like, we didn't know how good the first one was going to be.

So our expectations are already too high for this movie. Exactly. Like if this had been the first movie, it may have been a different situation. Sure. But like, they're just like, okay, it's not going to be as good. It can't be as good. Let's fucking have fun with this. Yeah.

Let's go book wild on it. And they do. They say that the ball is in play and they start introducing the other families like factions. Like they're like the warriors at the beginning of the warriors. Yeah. And we get a bunch of great like, yeah, ridiculous character actors and stuff just doing ridiculous shit. Like the one guy who just has the box of blow on his desk. Yes.

Yes. Like it's a sugar bowl. And he goes out quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that for him. So David Cernemberg gets Pernilla to get his kids. His kids are Sean Hatoosie and S&G. And I was 100% it was going to be set up that they were incestuous.

Right. I was like, these two are going to make out. Right, they're twins. Yeah, what are we doing here? Yeah, they do not. They do not. I mean, maybe a little letdown. I'd like to see them, kiss.

Yeah, who wouldn't? I'd pay good money to see. Have you ever seen Sean Hottosi without a shirt on? Come on. What are we doing here? Baby, yeah. So the ball is in play. We get the montage of the folks gearing up.

David Cronenberg smacks Sean Hottosi for being a whiny boy. Everybody snacks Sean Hottosi in this movie. And then David Cronenberg says, do it. Yeah. He's like, let's get on with it. Pulls the pillow out from behind his head, lays down, puts it over his face. It has like their name on it, Danforth. Yeah.

And Titus and Ursula, what are the? name of those two characters. So good. That's so good. Perfect. He's on a lot of machines. May we perhaps unplug them instead of murdering him? Nope. To which I have written,

kill me with a pillow with my name on it. It just says Katie. It says street heat and you know it. Fuck. I like that. And please don't anyone do that because I'll have to come after you. My vengeance will be strong. That's no worries.

No worries. Let them. Just keep making. sure I'm buried with my tits out. Let him see. If you let somebody murder you with a pillow, I will not make sure that all of your birthday wishes come true. You promised me.

So the detective is taking Samara weaving away. Yeah. And he gets a knife to the throat. He gets a, yes, a thrown knife to the throat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the guy who has thrown the knife. Who I refer to only as Lulmouth. Lill mouth.

Lill mouth. Little mouth, big nostrils, coat guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He comes running in and then immediately explodes as the people did at the end of the first movie. Because he's coming on too fast. You've got to wait for the thing to get started. The game has not yet started.

I love that the devil has so many rules for how you have to do these things. Mr. LaBale, he wants it to be fair. Yeah. Faith is stunned, which is very funny. Again, going back to our thing, like, the devil is nothing if not fair. The devil is nothing if not equitable. I love all the Irish folktales where like the devil was trying to get it. me and then I put salt on his tail and he couldn't move anymore.

Motherfucker. I put a penny on his shoe and he was done. So they run away. She's handcuffed and then she's like, wait, the cop had handcuffed keys. I got to run back and get this gun and handcuff keys. Because so they, she unhandcuffs herself and then goes to get the wedding dress from the evidence bag and puts it back on. Yeah. Yeah.

Because she needs her clothes and puts on her little, her little Chuck Taylor's as well. Cute. Yeah. But then Elijah Wood gasses them. Yes. Elijah Wood comes in in a gas mask and you're like, this is pretty good. Yeah. Elijah Wood pretty great.

Yeah. Come on, Frodo, let's do this. He explains that the game hasn't started yet. So Mr. LaBale condemned cocaine guy and his whole bloodline. And his whole bloodline. Yeah. I was hoping when we went to, we see that wedding that the twins come in and interrupt and tell everybody that they have to leave. I was hoping either the bride or the groom were going to explode because his bloodline was like, that would have been fun.

That would have been fun. It's, but this is a bride and groom getting married. They met on the chemo ward and they both survived cancer. And they kick them out. Ursula kicks them out. And she's just like, are you fucking kidding me? Which I liked a lot.

So the council's on its way to the lodge, which is all the people who are going to be participating in the game. And then the guest of honor arrives by the helicopter. Right. Can't remember who that was. That's grace, right? Because they've gassed her. Okay, okay.

Yes, so she comes to and her and her sister are tied to a chair with ballgags. Yeah. And this is when I realized that David Cronerberg had to die so that the twins could play the game because he couldn't possibly have won. Right. And they both get to take the field because they're twins. which is a weird like workaround but I like it. Yeah. And everybody's just like,

ugh. I love that Elijah Wood is the devil's attorney. Yeah. It's perfect. Lebel. Yeah. He, okay,

we get the lady from the warrior and her son who is just playing switch the entire time. And we understand that whomever kills grace now. Yeah. gets to have the high seat on the council, which was previously held by David Cronenberg. It's a weird bylaw. Yeah.

Yeah. Including if she makes it till dawn, Grace, she can have the seat on the high council. Correct. She's like, but I don't want that. Yeah. She's like, I don't want to play. And then he's like, okay, we'll kill her sister then.

Yeah. And then she says, okay, I'll play. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So this is when we learned that Ignacio's daughter, was Alex Lomas's previous fiance. Yes, but Grace stole her. Right. Well, at least according to her.

Right. Don't like seeing women pitted against each other over a man. No, but this lady kind of also dodged a bullet because look what happened to Grace. Yeah, yeah. But she's already in the satanic cabal. Yeah. Right. Would she have had to pull a card, I wonder?

Or would Mr. LeBale just be chill because it was like in the family? Yeah. So they all signed their names in the book of her. blood, or they signed the book in their blood. And the ladies are put out at the ninth hole. Yeah. They're like knocked out again. They get knocked out again.

Yeah. And when they come to you on the ninth hole, they are cuffed together. That's fucked up. Yeah, it is. I like that the one, the lady from the warrior, yeah. It's just like, well, I have a drone. Like, everyone else is like driving out there.

Sean Otisie has stolen the keys from the other golf carts. Right. Someone did mention that if we were excited about Satanus with golf carts in Psycho Killer, this movie would be even more exciting because there's more Satanus and more golf carts. It's perfect. So she's got a drone that she's flying out there. Yes. They are not scared of the drone like the ladies in a hard ticket to Hawaii, my new favorite movie.

Join the Patreon just to hear that episode, please. So, and she tells, she starts telling them via the drone that she's figured out a bylaw that will get them through this. Right, but then the drone is shot down. By SMG. SMG. SMG. SMG. SMG.

She's got to go by SMG, right? I hope so. I would if I were her. Freddie Prince Jr. is just at home going, SMJ! And she's like, FPJ. Oh, these two also have a cousin. Kip, who is just drinking and being a layabout. What's the word I'm looking for?

Shiftless. Shiftless layabout? Yeah. I like that he's like, no, those two are go-getters. I don't give a fuck about shit. I'm still in my bathrobe and slippers. And I'm drinking. And I'm drinking.

I love him. Yeah. I wish I had his life. I want a robe and a drink. We stand a Kip. We stand a Kip. I'm bringing it back. We're bringing Stan back.

Did it go away? I don't know. I don't know. SMG tries to tell them while they're hiding in the woods There's not good guys and bad guys There are people just need to do a thing Right they're all just out here Yeah

You know Doing their best Mm-hmm mm-hmm Elijah Wood catches Kipp trying to send a text to the To his cousins Right and he's like do you really want to do that And it's a good thing that he doesn't Because I think they would explode exploded

I love that someone who worship the devil Would be like I'm not going to tell you no Because I'm going to like the outcome either way you should think it through. I also like that they have cameras set up on every inch of this place that they can all watch it together. I could almost immediately find where everybody is. Yeah. So we get them starting a fire in a gazebo to hide where they are in the gazebo because Naccio is taking pot shots at them.

Smoke themselves out. I like that. I'm smoking themselves out. Yeah. Just cheat and Chonging the fuck out of this thing. Yeah. So eventually he hits a gas tank, which explodes it and, like, hits the Southeast Asian guy. Yes.

I also love him and his like killer mask. Yeah, yeah. He's great. Also fucking handsome, too. Oh, my God. I was reading for him from the jump. Or for the jump, if you know what I mean. To jump jump my bones.

Jump my bones. These bones right here. People still jump the bones. I think so. I mean, mine are kind of brittle, but. careful osteoporosis help but there's also a stipulation

that the participants cannot kill each other or they will forfeit if they do that so like Ignacio's like fuck even accidentally and there's also this rule that you have to use a weapon from the time period from which your deal was made with Mr. LaBale oh I missed that yeah and so like the Southeast Asian guy is using like a curved

sword, a curved blade. And the Spanish guy has like a big gun with a scope and legs. Ignacio, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ignacio must have recently made the deal.

And then Sean Hontosi has like a hammer spike like war hammer thing. So like when did his family do this shit? Yeah. But then Sarah Michelle Geller has a gun. Yeah. I mean, I mean that existed. He's also, we're told the tightness is crazy. Oh yeah. That's true. That's true.

So tomorrow even gets a bunch of glass stuck in her arm. And just pro tip, if you have a huge piece of glass anywhere near where an artery might be. Yank it out. Do not pull that out. Not pull it out. Do not pull it out. Do not pull it out. Go to the hospital.

Not. Well. So they get into the big hotel that's on the grounds that they're on, which is owned by David Kronenberg's family. And the sister starts pulling glass out of her arm. Yeah. Seems to be enjoying the pain that's causing her sister. Yeah.

Yeah. And the gold mask guy comes in as they're grinding their cuffs off on a like angle grinder that just happens to be in the basement here. Yeah. And where there, again, there's cameras. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they said successful grindage for our boy. Successful grindage.

No wheezing the juice. No wheezing the juice. They get him into a giant washing machine that melts all of his skin off. Yeah. put it on the sanitized function and I thought, oh no, this didn't happen to the step sister. Stepsister? Oh, Katie.

Alan. That's why she was so scared about being stuck in there. Yeah, she was stuck. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? No, nothing. It's definitely not that.

Prawn hub you say? I don't, I'm not familiar. Pran. It's where you can get, you order, you order trumps. You order trumps to be delivered to your home. So the. The guy with the gold mask is dead, so now his cousin has to step up or brother, whoever it is. Yes, and he really does not want to.

He really assumed his brother was going to make it through. So what does he do? He abdicates his throne as head of the family and makes his wife go. Yeah. Who's just screaming at him in some sort of serbic language. Yeah. And she is my favorite character in this movie. Yeah.

Because she realizes that she now has all of his wealth. Yeah. And she's like, okay, and leaves. She doesn't want the high seat of the council. There's no reason for her to compete for it. She can stay on the council and just leave. So she bolts and the guys like to Elijah Wood, is that fine? And he goes, yeah, she can do that.

Yeah, he doesn't realize yet. Yeah. She has all your money. Yeah. The girls make a call to SMG, our ladies. Well, they call 911. Yes. But SMG peaks up.

She's rerouted all the phone calls. Can you do that? Can you do it? Yes, if you were the most powerful entity in the world, you could do whatever you want. That's right. They own the phone companies. They own the phone company. Yeah.

And while all this is going on, we're getting more and more of the backstory of the two sisters, which is that they were in foster care together. Right. And Grace at 18 left her 15-year-old sister behind to go to college. Right. Because she could not possibly take care of a 15-year-old. Yeah. And also, this sounds like the foster home they were in at the time was not a bad one.

Right. Yeah. Right. but she's still sad that her sister left her Yeah, as she would be And she said apparently she says something like I have to leave you, there's no other way Yeah

So here's where we find out from the warrior lady Yeah, that if Who has, whose weapon is like a ninja sword? Yeah, samurai sword, yeah, yeah, yeah. Katana. Katana, I never know what these things are called. She says that if you marry my son Mm-hmm, we can end the hunt

and you don't have to die. Right, then. The son would have the high seat on the council? Right. Right. And she's saying to her, like, think of the good we could do through him. Yeah. And she's like, what do you mean to tell me?

You as a Satan worshipper are a good person? And she's like, no, of course not. But she's also not an asshole. No, she's not. She's not. So she's like, I don't want to do that. And her sister's like, but we could get out of it. She goes, I'll marry your fucking son.

She's like, I'm not going to sell my soul to do this. Yeah. I was like, okay, I get it. But also, like, does a soul even exist? That's what I'm saying. Like, if you don't, but she has seen Mr. LaBale, so she might have reason to believe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That could be God's way out. Just have the devil pop up and show people. Yeah. God can't tell the devil what to do. That's true. No. Plus, that guy's always going down to Georgia. Yeah.

He's got fiddles to play or whatever the fuck. it is. Man, I wish Charlie Daniels wasn't such a shithead because that song fucking rips. It is a ripper. So Ignacio comes running in. Yeah.

And they sort of grab Olivia Chang's sword and run him through with it, through the neck. In the hands of her son. Right. Yes. So they use her son

to kill Ignacio. No, it's in her hands because the son is back playing Switch. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yes. And then she explodes and then her son explodes.

Her son who's just playing Switch and eating what appears to be a giant bowl of hot tamales, those candies. Delicious. Who doesn't love a hot tamale? I mean, it's a lot to eat all at once. It's true. It's true. It's going to make your mouth too spicy. Yeah.

So then they both explode. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Rip Ignacio. Rip Olivia Chang. Yeah.

And Ripper's son. So now the child, the girl child. has to go out. Yes. For Ignacio's daughter, I guess. This is the one who has beef with Grace. Yes. So she goes and puts on her wedding.

Yeah, that's insane. She brought it. Yeah. I also love that Catherine Newton goes back for the sword. Yes, she does. Because now she's got a bit of a taste for blood. Do you think if they do a third movie in this franchise that the, they could introduce another sister that would be the woman from Happy Death Day?

I love her. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be fun. family. Yeah. Although she's very tiny. She is short. Yeah. So I do like that they're like covered in blood from people exploding and then the next time we see them, they're totally clean. Yeah. I do like that when they, when a Levejang explodes, Faith was like, I don't know if I'm ever going to get used to that. And

Grace was like, no, it's always surprising. They're so fucking, both of them are so fucking funny. They are so fucking funny. Did you watch the latest Bill and Ted movie? I did not. Samara Weaving is one of their daughters. Okay. And she's very funny. Okay, I'll watch it. It's fine.

I'm sure it's fine. Yeah, yeah. At this point, we learned that Faith has made up Derek. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which he's like, you probably think I made up Derek earlier in the movie. And then she's like, I made up Derek. Yeah.

I, Lucy and I are going to adopt a cat later this summer when we get home from vacation. And I really want to name it Luigi after Luigi Mangione, American Folkiro. Sure. but she really wants to name a cat Derek. Okay. And I can't, I kind of can't let that go. I kind of feel like Derek is a great name for a cat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Last name? Is he gonna have, our last name? Oh, okay, not just like, you're not gonna give him his own cat last name. No,

he's part of our family. Okay, all right, very, I like it with people like, you know, like, Derek Biggelsworth or something.

No. Oh, like, missed my old cat, Mr. Poopies, in which his first name was Corey. What's really? Well,

that was his name of the vet because I couldn't bring them, bring myself to let the vet know that I named a cat Mr. Poopies because I thought they would think I was a bad pet owner. But in retrospect, I'm like, no, no. People name cats things like Mr. Poopies. Yeah, of course they do. And then he wouldn't answer to Corey at the vet. And then when I had to put him down, it was really sad.

I was like crying and petting him and waiting, you know? Yeah. And the nurse technician or whatever was like, oh, Corey. And I was like, that's not his name. Just be cool with what you know. name your cat. It's fine. It's fine. I fucked up. I was a child. I was like 21 when I got that cat. Yeah. Yeah. Poobies was a great cat. Oh, he's a great boy. Love to scratch furniture, though. Not that great. Sure. Who doesn't in this day and age? And this economy.

Oh, boy. So, yes, we see the, the wife has been given control of the family just drives her car through the gate to get out of here. Right. SMG attacks Grace and puts, she has like her gun because it's an older gun, has like a tamping thing for the gunpowder and shot in it. It's so confusing. And so she takes that tamping rod and sticks it through Grace's chest or like shoulder. So she has now has a spike through her as well.

It's brutal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grace can take so much punishment. Literally earlier today she had to be resuscitated. So she pulls her own spike out. Her sister's like, I'm going to pull it out. And she's like, no. And I think I'd rather pull it out myself than have someone else do it.

Yeah, me too. Yeah. I was thinking about when I, like, being in labor and the amount of pain I was in and how I was just like, everyone, get the fuck away from me. I just want to do this by myself under a porch, you know? It's like, I understand raccoons now. I just want to be going, ha, I'm sure I was.

I understand the raccoons now. Yeah. Listen, I'm going to go eat some trash. I'll be right back. I do. That you like a raccoon. So they have a big fight. She tries to white fang her sister and tell her to leave her alone.

Yeah. White fang. Wow. As a verb. Or Harry and the Henderson's or sister. Sure. Wait, but first the, isn't the bride, the new bride, the old bride come in first? No, right after the white fanging.

I see. Francesca shows up with the bazooka, and she's going to blow her up with the bazooka except she's holding it the wrong way around. And she shoots the bazooks behind her, yes. And then they mace each other, which was very funny. Yeah, they found pepper spray, and now they're both pepper sprayed. And then they have this fucking hilarious fight,

which might be the highlight of the film for me, where they can't see each other because they're both blinded by pepper spray. Blind fighting badly. They're just swinging at nothing until she gets, grace gets a little bit of sight back. But we see it through her eyes, which I really liked. She sees the standee of the bride and groom from earlier and attacks them. Which hits the DJ booth and turns on total eclipse of the heart.

I watch this the night before Bonnie Taylor. I wrote, that lady just died today. Don't you hate that song? My next note. I hate that song, actually. But it's a nice use in this scene. Yeah. Yeah.

So they're, yes, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, They're losing their respective fights that aren't actually with each other, and it's very funny. So Ursula and Titus has found faith and is beating the shit out of faith. Yeah, he's got her like in a downstairs hallway, like, just for no reason, just like needlessly cruel. Yeah, he's just a fucking psychopath. He says to her, you're not even a person. You're just a collection of organs and meaningless opinions approximated. a personality and I like felt that very deeply.

Yeah. You know that. That's not you right. That's not faith either. No. No. Catherine New? You fucking joking?

Catherine Nureen. She's better than all of it. She's the best of us. Yeah. I just remember that I also love Michael Monroe. Is it just blonde white ladies? Yes, you've got a type, Alan. Because Michael Monroe is a shitty actor and we both know it.

I 100% disagree. I think she's amazing. It makes great choices. Yeah. So. Of course. So Ursula tries to stop

Titus from beating her up. Right, because she's like, there's no need for this. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to kill her. And he's obviously horny for murder. So Grace goes to find faith, and she finds a bunch of guns and ammo

in a locked box. And now she's all kidded out with guns and a bullet, A bandalier. Bandelier. Yeah. I love a bandolier. She still runs out of ammo despite having a bandalier.

I was like, come on. Well, she's also wasting it, like, shooting shotguns into doors to open them and stuff. Yeah, just use her hands. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So she sees her sister being taken to the lodge on one of the cameras. Right. She kills Francesca as a note.

I don't remember how she killed her. I think she just shoots through the shotgun. Yeah, Francesca is coming at her as she's running towards the front steps. Yeah. She shoots her like three times with the shotgun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then the little kid who's the third member of the Ignacio Francesca party? Felipe. Felipe is lit. He's so ready to do this. Yeah. Felipe has two little pistols and his little hands. It's fully automatic pistols. At this point I've written, I don't want so many of them to be dead because I want it to keep going.

Sure. I'm really enjoying this and I don't, like in the battle royale sense of the word, like I don't want. I don't want this to be like down to the wire. For sure. Yeah. She hides in a freezer, which I thought was a terrible idea because you can get locked inside of those. Also, we see that the Southeast Asian guy who's not playing anymore, who's like wife took off is just eating an ice cream Sunday. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah. But yeah, Felipe kicks ass. He says, let's dance, puta and starts shooting her. I want you to say to that to somebody. Let's dance, puta.

So at this point, she tells Hatozi that she'll marry him to keep him from killing her sister. Okay. And he's like, all right, I'll do it. And Elijah's like, yeah, you can do that. You can do that. That's part of the rules. And you're like, I'll marry this psycho with great abs. You know.

If any of you get a chance, watch any of the interviews that Samara Weaving did for press for this movie when she was extremely pregnant. Oh. Because she is very fucking funny. Okay, good. There was one that I saw that the guy was like, you ever do cocaine? She's like, yeah. Still, she goes,

and just points at her tum-tum. Yeah, good for her. No, you can't do cocaine when you have a baby in your tummy. You'll never, never stop kicking you. Also, if she said yes, she's going to get visits for people. Yeah. Also, this part of the movie upset me because, like,

she could have just had the sweet dumb guy with the switch. She could have been playing Mario Party as high seat of the council, like it would have been the same thing. Wow, Mario Party's so hard. What do you mean it's so hard? It's so difficult. What are you talking about? I have such a hard time with Mario Party.

What part are you struggling with? All of it. What? It's such a tough game. I think you're thinking of 3D World maybe. Maybe. Odyssey or something, but Mario Party is just a bunch of mini games. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

Oh my God. You're insane. It beats me real good at it. well that's that in a what is it Luigi's Haunted Mansion Oh Luigi's Haunted Mansion

I get stuck sometimes Yeah Um so While she's getting prepped For this For the wedding Where she looks Fucking stunning

Oh my God I want to wear a black wedding dress like that With like the gold tiara I'm never getting married again But if I do I wear I wear a black All right Barry me in that dress

Except cut my tits out I would hope your wedding dress just have your tits out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So SMG comes in, it's like, hey, I'm fucking terrified of my brother. And I think you should be as well. Yeah. But she, what was her pitch then?

Like, how was she going to? Well, she basically, like, marry him and then we'll take care of him. Oh, right. You and I, yes. You and I can, like, control the high seat. But he overhears all of this. And he's like, no one can control me. Yeah.

Which is true because he kills SMG. And he breaks her neck. Breaks her damn neck. It's like there's nothing about killing family. Earlier in the movie, she had been like, fine, kill him to them. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he was upset. Yeah. Yeah. And then he says to Grace, I'll see you at the altar. Yeah. It's not a thing you want to hear from. A man who just broke his sister's neck.

No. So now there's a satanic wedding going on. There's a bunch of robe buddies in the basement. Yeah. Get all of these like townspeople or druids or orcos from He-Man? What is happening? I think it's a bunch of orcos.

I think they specifically stipulate that the wedding party must be orcos. And they make faith wear an orco dress too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she said she's not wearing a dumb bridesmaid dress, but here she is. Here she is in a black bridesmaid's dress, which is also sick. So a sacrificial pit opens up. Elijah Wood is going to be overseeing the wedding, officiating, I guess. would call it. Yeah, he's the efficient. Um, and, uh, the sacrificial pit opens up and it's

filled with goats and human bodies. Gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, and so they have to sign their book in blood. Um, uh, they start, she, she signs the name, her name in the book. So she's officially making it happen. She is, this is the woods thou like to live deliciously moment. Yes. And they both say their I do's. And then what does she do? And then she kills him. Yeah, she stabbed into the death of the pen for a really long time. For a really long time.

I'm sorry, I have so many notes before that. Oh, do you? Okay. Like Elijah Wood looks dope and a goat helmet. That's the thing I thought he had brought from home. Yeah, yeah. A goat helmet. Yeah. And if you didn't believe in God, would you feel all that bad pledging yourself to Satan?

I feel kind of like it's like pledging yourself to Santa Claus or Elmo or a reasonable libertarian. Like, you know it just doesn't exist. Like dancing? Shut up. And then I wrote, Unto the Fires of Hell is a sick wedding vowel, though, actually. What about the two people that are standing behind them that have like the white mesh over their faces?

Yeah. Yeah, just very creepy. Don't touch that ring, Elijah Wood. You know what happened last time? That's a Lord of the Rings joke. That's for you. The makeup department did a great job because I believe that he had all ten of his fingers. right they did such a good job yeah after that documentary where you lost one yeah we're

gollum bit off one of his fingers formerly smegle formerly smegal formerly smegal cousin of deagle okay let's not get into this we're murdered we'll see no i have to go easel door lost the ring okay i do this to missy all the time she hates it yeah i wonder why i did watch all the hobbit movies though they're fucking terrible well the last two are fucking abysmal the third one is Watchable. Yeah, it's really bad. So she stabs Titus so many times. And you just hear her sister to the background go,

fuck yeah. Yeah, she's so cool now. Yeah, she kicks him into the goddamn goat pit. After she takes his ring. Yes. And the lawyer is just, the lawyer, Elijah was just like IDK. Yeah, this all checks out, this against.

And it was like, satanic stuff. Of course, you're doing the unexpected. That's total. Titanic business. That's what Satan would want. Yeah. Yeah. So she's now the head of the High Council. Makes them all bow or kneel to her. Get on your knees is what she screams. Yeah. She says to Elijah Wood, this means I can do whatever I want, right? And he goes, that is correct. She's also, kudos to her. Screaming in an American accent? She's doing it. She's holding it together. She is. There's one point in this movie where she goes super Australian. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, oh, that's so cute. You lost it.

She says, I could lead this operation. I could change the world. But Her act is to leave. Yeah. Yeah. Then what does she do? She throws the ring into the pit because whoever is wearing the ring by dawn. It's almost dawn. It's three minutes, give or take.

Yeah. I was like, come on, Pernilla. Yes, Pernilla goes in for the ring and I was like, you're tired of being a number two for somebody. Yeah. I mean, if you had had to be fucking David Cronenberg's butler. And a murderer. We assume she's murdering people for him? Yeah, yeah.

So there's this great scene of everybody fighting in the pit to get stuff? He says, Mr. LaBale would be very upset if no one is wearing the ring by Don. She throws it in and says, choke on it, you inbred fucks. And the first person to go in, I think, is Felipe, the little boy. Wild. I feel like I wouldn't jump face first, but that's just me. I mean, if you want to get a good bite, gung-g-g-g-g-g-d. Do you want to get a good?

a good bite of the goat pit? I meant like fermented goat meat sounds delicious. No, it doesn't. What are you doing? What are you doing here? Elijah Wood just turns around and leaves, which I thought was very funny.

Yeah. He's like, it's a day job. I'm not married to my work. And he doesn't want to be on the High Council. He just wants to be the attorney. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you want the responsibility of doing all this stuff? Oh, please. No one was. At this point, Grace has unlatched the goat that they were going to sacrifice. It takes it with her. The goat is not a walk me on a leash type animal. No. Goats don't give a fuck.

So what happens to all the Satanists that are in the pit? They all get sort of like, do they all explode at dawn? They do. The horn blows. A horn blows because it's dawn. Yeah. And this, much like a bag of microwave popcorn, we get a couple of them popping. Yes.

And they're like, oh, that's fun. And then a giant explosion of blood. As the pit closes. As it closes. The Indian guy lives because he abdicated, right? He lives because he abdicated. What does he say to them? I don't remember.

He says, let's fucking party. And then what happens to him, Alan? What happens to him? He explodes and they get sprayed yet again. Which is a funny reoccurring gag. Yeah, really is. Oh, man. And then who shows up in the chair?

Who shows up in the chair? You're going to get your Mr. LeBale? Yeah. She finds a tray of cigarettes that was at this wedding. The cancer patient wedding had a tray of cigarettes. All right. Siggy and candy. Then I wrote, my girl.

My final note is the sisters are back. Because they make amends. and I think Samara Weaving says you're going to be sick of me soon. And one of them says I do. Yeah. It's very cute.

And they walk away with a goat. I loved it. I loved it. I did love it. I mean, I wish there, I wanted more factions. I wanted more fighting. Sure.

I didn't want the movie to necessarily be longer, but I wanted more of just the like battle royal element of who's going to make it, you know? I also like that the ending is kind of like, okay, we're done. Yeah. We're not going to do another one of these. Yeah, I hope so.

Which was like, okay, that's good. That's good. Because I feel like Samara Weavans, like, the second babysitter movie is not as good as the first babysitter movie. Right. Like, just coming back to these wells isn't necessarily a good idea. But I get it. I get the drive to do it. What's your rating on this movie?

God, just for the sheer cast. Yeah. Eight. Wow. I really, this will be one of those movies. Like the next time I'm in a hole of depression and start just rewatching all my favorite horror movies, I will watch these two back to back. You know what I mean? I can see that.

I think it's a fantastic, like, the story's kind of stupid. It's a bit shoe horny. But like, it's so fun. I just, I love fun right now. I need fun right now. There's part of me that wish they had played a different game. Oh, like they didn't see. But that was the Les DeMoss family because they were the games people.

Right. Right. Right. So, but I just wish maybe. A ticket to ride or something. Yeah. Make it the biggest change. Did they have to, do the other families have to play?

They didn't have to play a game. Was it just the Les Domas? I don't know. But it seemed like they were all like prepped to play this game. Yeah. The most dangerous game, arguably. Interesting. Yeah.

I'm going to give it a seven. Seven? Yeah. Tell me why. I think it's fun. I think it suffers from the sequel curse. It's never going to be, you know, there's very few sequels that are. better than the original.

Like we're going at Bernie's too, which turned out to be not true at all. Or Empire Strikes Back, which is true. So you say. Or Temple of Doom. No.

I've seen Temple of Doom more times than the others, you know? I do love Temple of Doom. I know it's a racist fucking movie, but it's a horror movie. Yeah. We can always do it. It's true.

Yeah. But yeah, I think like the cast alone makes this movie like so fucking good and that they're having obvious fun while they're doing this. It does feel like it, doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you're a good actor and they're like, you know what, you can chew the scenery in this one if you want to. It's like, okay. I would love to. Yeah. I would love to.

SMG, baby. SMG. SMG. I'm glad that she seems to be having a bit of a renal salt. Me too. Especially in the horror genre. Yeah, good for her. I was thinking while like, I was like, oh, a few years ago, I feel like Kristen Bell would have gotten this role.

Really? In a horror movie? Sure. I think so. That was just the thought that I had. Okay. But I feel like, no. they were in the SMG renaissance

Christed Bell's face is too nice Sure She has a really nice face She can't have that SMG glower You know It's true I would have probably thought it would be I can't think of another actor

Are there other actors Charlize Theron Oh interesting She doesn't seem like she likes fun though No She's in that new Odyssey movie Yeah I'm gonna see it even though Everyone's so fucking pissed at it

Yeah I'm gonna see it too Yeah, I want to see it. I love the story. I want it to be good. Maybe it's good. I don't care if somebody's black. Is that what they're mad about? No, I think more annoying, not more annoyingly.

I think annoyingly people are bad about the like idiosyncratic nature of like the set design and stuff. Fuck you. We're making a movie. You guys know it's not real, right? I'll dare an artist choose to do something artistically. Why don't they just run it through AI and have a do? I'd like, fuck you. Fuck off.

Watch a movie. Relax. Quote a friend of mine. Yeah. Suck my flaps. So next week we're doing the Odyssey. I wish it's not out yet. It's not out yet.

As of the trailer I watched last night, we still had six days. But we are going to do another movie next week. Looking it up. So before we get to the movie announcement, let's go to a little place that I like to call, Mailbag! I feel like you even said that in ages. I know. I'm going to make somebody very happy.

same person who got excited about Plow United, which wasn't you. No. Maybe you'll listen to Plow United on a drive home. You love Pop Pong from the 90s, right? Yes, I will. I will. This is a message from a new patron named Demon of Vacuums. Demon of Vacuums.

I fucking love that. Their little icon is a vacuum cleaning demon. Hello's. I finally bit the bullet and subscribed. your banter and jokes remind me of the old days with my friends consuming various substances and bullshitting about movies and stuff in general. Hey man, it's Saturday morning. I've had a large cup of coffee and a busy water. Yeah, yeah. No substances. Just kidding. Just a caffeine. A lot of caffeine.

I'm usually stoned when we do this. I just don't get stoned in the mornings. Just a lot of caffeine and Zoloft over here. Oh, yeah. Simbalta. Max Simbalta. And I did my Ozempic shot last night, so I'm just, I'm more drugs than blood at this point. Absolutely. Good for you. As it should be. I bought one of your shirts,

get high, do crimes for safety. So does my kid. But that was to annoy a lady at the gym who always wears Jesus shirts. If you use our garb for petty reasons, I fucking love you. I fucking love you.

You know I'm a petty bitch. You know I love petty shit. I love you. If you wear your being fun is better than knowing things to college classes to annoy your professors. I love you. I love you.

I think I'm one of the only people who bought that shirt, actually. If she can be passive aggressive and judgy, then so can I. Ab's so fucking looting. You're so right. Passive aggression. It's gotten a bad rap.

Thank you and keep up the funny. Your show is a blessing for someone who works a night shift and lives a vampire-like life in general. Oh, it's tough. Love demon of vacuums from the sweaty taint of America.

Parenthetical Utah. Utah. I was going to guess Florida. I was going to guess New Jersey. Yeah. Hey, demon of vacuums. Thank you so much. Thank you for that great letter.

Thank you for being a petty bitch. And thank you for joining our patron. Yeah. Patreon. Where you are a patron. There you go. So if you guys want to do that, you can go to www. patreon.com backslash wherewolf ambulance.

You get to vote on action movies that we're going to review. Sometimes. Well, this month we didn't because we had a really good. recommendation. If you recommend something that's going to literally break our titty bill, whomster we to say no. Homester we to say no. It was a great time.

We've watched a lot of fun action movies. And we're also doing a line of duty rewatch podcast over there called Nice One Mate. So you can go to Patreon and hear all of those episodes without having to pay. Those are free. You just remind me there's a couple that aren't free that I need to go in and fix and make sure they're all free. Okay, make sure they're free. Because I'm out here.

Don't make me a liar. I'm out here telling the truth. I would never, if anything, it just makes me an idiot. Not you a liar. I don't think that's true. Okay, go fix it though. Thank you. Thank you.

Should we keep doing this podcast, too, though? I think we should. What movie should we do next week? I think we should do a movie that I don't know what to expect when I'm expecting. Totally. While you were asking me if I wanted to do it, I was already writing it in my notes app. That's how much I was like, this is a good idea. Bobby Chadere sent me an email.

He was like, A, Yallin, Alan Ambulance. I ain't giving you no money or no free stuff, but check this movie out. There's a new movie called Faces of Death that supposedly the killer is reenacting the murders from Faces of Death, or the deaths from Faces of Death.

They're not all murders. Sometimes it's just people being attacked by giant leeches that are obviously PVC pipe. I am very excited for this, having also no expectations. Do you ever see those faces of death movies? Yes, I did. Well, one of them.

Okay. And it has like the, what's his name, Bud Dwyer shooting himself. Yeah. Like people falling out of trees and stuff. Yeah. But like mixed with obviously fake things. I don't remember the fake things,

but I might have been too young because, ooh. Yeah. To like acknowledge, to like recognize because so much of it was real, you know. I'm sure we'll get into this, but I remember one that was just like, somebody was going to bungee jump. It must be, it might have been a,

it was a later faces of death, but they're like, these college kids are going to bungee jump off the side of this building. Unfortunately, they didn't calculate in that this building does not have a 13th floor. So the bungee was too long and they just dove straight into the ground. I don't think you would make it that close. That's 10 feet. That's 10 feet to give. Four inches from the ground.

More bunge, buddy. More bunge. More bunge, less jump. So come back on the shut air. You can watch the face of death. I'm sure it's on the streamings as well. Yeah. And, um, yeah, we'll talk about that.

Yeah, we're going to talk about that. Hey, guys, have a good summer. You guys swim in? You get in out there and swimming? You're going to swim today. I love that for you. I'm going to go up to the lake today. What lake? Uh, the one up north.

What the fuck? Lake Arthur. Yeah. It's Lake Arthur. Oh, what's that? It's called Lake Arthur. Oh, is it? Mm-hmm.

Okay. Marine State Park. I do like that lake. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't think you were a lake person. I mean, I like that one because there's a little beach and you can let your children run in it. Yeah.

And it doesn't have, I haven't ever gotten a yeast infection from it as I do from many lakes. One time we saw a lady with a duck there. That was pretty cool. Oh, yeah. You've talked about that a million times. That really was a core memory for you. Two things. I saw someone get fingered there and somebody with a duck there.

They were not together. You didn't tell me about the fingering, I don't think. That was the summer that I saw somebody get fingered at the pool and I saw somebody get fingered at a lake. And I was just like, fucking finger lakes. What are we doing here? Finger legs. Perfect. Come back for faces of death

that we'll talk about more fingering. Oh, of course we will. You know why? Everybody wants to get fingers. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearmove ambulance. Bye. I love you. I love you.