Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 567- Faces of Death (2026)

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

Guys, before we begin, I need you to know that this is all Allen's fault. This week we're discussing the 2026 film "Faces of Death." Film is a loose descriptor. Special topics for your consideration include: what the kids are on these days, lake life, Budd Dwyer, shitty documentaries, and student films.  You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes, including oir upcoming episode on "Hard Ticket to Hawaii." We are also getting into the meat of our second season of "Nice One, Mate!" which is FREE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A PATRON. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously we have the best EMTs, hands down.

Hey, Katie. Hi, Alan. You're going to cut all of that, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, great. All the berating of one another. Oh, you know what? I'm actually not done berating you.

Oh, why? What did I did? You picked this motherfucking movie. I have... Excuse me, Bobby Shutter? Yes. Can I see you over here for a minute? Sure, Katie, what's going on?

Bobby, I just have one question for you. Um, I have answered. was for two. What the fuck? Well, we filmed this in 2023 and then it went on the shelf. For such a long time that when we did reshoot, you might have noticed that the main

actor had lost a significant amount of weight when he brought her back in to have a conversation with somebody. Oh, I didn't. I stopped, I mean, I want to tell you all the things I did during this movie, Bobby Shutter. I folded all of mine in Lucy's laundry. I love this. And put it away.

That sounds great. While the movie was playing. You didn't miss Charlie XXX being in the film, did you? Who's that? I know who she is, but who is she in the movie? Oh, she's Gabby, one of Margot's co-workers. Oh, the one who says, if I kept a clear head, I'd blow it clear across the office? Yeah, that's the one. Okay, you don't have to do Bobby Shutter for the whole episode.

I don't know, you brought me in here. This movie sucks, Bobby. It really does really fucking. This is one of the worst movies we've ever done. I described this movie to Best Friend of the podcast, Jim Robinson. Hi, Jim. As being wretched.

Wretched? I described this movie as wretched today, too. This movie is wretched. It's wretched. It makes presumptions about how human beings interact with each other that I just don't want to believe are real. We're going to have to get into that. Yeah.

Oh, faces of death. Faces of the jury. I had a memory while watching this I definitely saw the OG and a midnight screening in Newark, Delaware with a bunch of frat boys. Okay, okay. And that was a weird experience. I looked up which one I had seen because I remember that Bud Dwyer shooting himself was one of the vignettes, I guess. It's just a weird thing to say about someone's public suicide because that really stuck with me.

That was the first time I'd ever seen it. I saw faces of death six. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I've seen like four of them. Why, though, my dude? Because the 90s were really edge lordy. Yeah, that's true.

And plus you were a straight edge. You had nothing else to do. No parties to go to. Pretty sure I was still really drunk when I saw those. Okay, great. Good, good, good, good, good. I think it was before I hit 21. Wow, yeah.

I definitely saw this at age 18. Yeah. You just gave me a memory of the first time I saw the post-metal ban neurosis. I don't know what kids call bands these days. Anyway, first time I saw neurosis, they had Bud Dwyer shooting himself on a loop. That sucks.

And it was just like, it worked, but it was also like, that's a lot. That's a lot. That's like somebody's brother. You know, come on. That's a snuff film.

He wasn't, yes, he didn't, he did bad things, but he mostly did financially bad things. Yeah, yeah. He did white collar bad things. Like, and kind of like, oh, well, you know,

Don't die over that. I hate it. I hate it. I don't want to talk about that anymore. Anyway, she has a job that fucking sucks. Brutal. I am so sad that people have to do this job. I can't imagine how fucking mind bending it would be, like just destroying.

This is Margo. This is Margo. She works at an app called Kino. Yeah. Which is like a video sharing app. Your TikTok's your, you're a TikTok. I understand it's TikTok. Dah.

It's TikTok, Alan. I was going to tell you that. She basically goes through videos and flags things for removal for content reasons. Yeah. And then like her scummy overlord boss is like, oh, that's trending right now. It's fine. Right. It's cool.

But he's also like her friend from before times, really. Yeah. He seems to have gotten her the job. Yeah. Barby, or Margo is played by one Barbie Ferreira. I'd never heard. of her before. She is on that show that I've only seen when I

walk into a room and go, ugh, what the fuck is it called? It's the one with Zendaya and that woman that all the white nationalists love. Cindy Sweeney? Yeah. Euphoria. I've not seen it, obviously. It's a new, it's a modern day television

show. Is that take place in England and old lady solved crimes? No, I haven't seen it. Is it not Inspector Ellis? Then no, I haven't fucking seen it. Have you watched Deadlock? No, I haven't. I was going to say series two of Inspector Ellis is out on Acorn. I got to get on the Ellis tip.

I haven't watched that yet. Oh, you like it, I think. Yeah. You'll like it. We've been watching Deadlock, which is a Tasmanian comedy mystery show. Is that on Bripbox? It's on Amazon, maybe. Okay, all right.

I think I have an Amazon. It's good. It's fun. It's a nice time. Great. I've been enjoying it. I love these digressions that we take where people get really actually good advice from us. That's the only thing.

think you guys are allowed to take advice from us about. How am I going to talk about Billy from Stranger Things, serial killing people? Billy from Stranger Things. What season was that? I don't fucking know. He was like the hot teen brother that all the moms wanted to fuck. Did you not see that season? No, I saw the first 1.5.

Okay. Yeah, you missed the hot team. Again, modern television. It escapes me. It just runs away from me and I can't get it back. You're just like, I'm just going to watch Taxi again. I never watch. Taxi. Again, it's just fucking British lady solving crimes. I'm a mess.

I have all these episodes of Nauts Landing that I'm working my way through. Now that one you keep to yourself. No, I'm not really. I'm just, yeah. So we get a, we see that she has a metal detector at work because they don't want her stealing anything from work. I guess the videos. How do you steal a video on a metal? You put it on a hard drive to carry out with you, which she does later on. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That might have been when underwear we're going in yours. I was going to say, I think I was in Lucy's room putting away laundry. At some point, I stopped taking notes. I did very hard consider not finishing this one because it was so fucking bad. Yeah, wretched some light. Wretched! They also make the fatal mistake of watching a better movie.

I have that note. What is the movie in this movie that's showing a better movie in the movie? Yeah, Blood Feast by Hersch, Gordon Lewis, which we should do at some point. It's fucking phenomenal. Want to do it next week? Yeah, I'll do it next week. Let's see if we can find it before we... Before we commit.

Now nobody has to listen to the rest of this episode. Because as you know... It's considered to be the first gore movie. It's very good. It's very fun. And now when I look at you and go, have you ever had an Egyptian feast? You will know what I'm talking about.

Okay. It's rentable on Amazon for $2.99. We got that. We got $2.99 coming out of our goddamn wazoo. Sure. So yeah, she goes home and her roommates watching Blood Feast. He's a sweetie pie.

He's a little sweetie pie. And he's like so overly sweetie pie that you know he's going to die. He makes cool art and he's really nice to her. He's a sweetie die. Yeah, very good. That's like a final girl, a sweetie die. A sweetie die.

Yeah. He wants her to come with him to Cassidy's. Sure. But she doesn't want to go because she doesn't go out. Right, right. But then she does go out. She does go out. And this is where we learned she's a lesbian for no reason whatsoever.

Nope. We just have to know that. Yep. Okay. And he's got a lipstick knife. And she can tie a cherry stem with her tongue, and so can I. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And someone recognizes her as the train video girl. And she just goes home. Yeah. Listening to his voicemails from her sister and having flashbacks of a train. trauma. On her flip phone, no less. On her flip phone. So she can't get the internet at home. Oh, right. She doesn't have a laptop either. Correct. Yeah. Correct. So, yeah, she's,

she'll listen to voicemails and crying in bed as you do. Well, as one does. We've all been there. I was there today. Not listening to voicemails, just crying in bed. Oh, buddy. That's funny, right? Is that a good joke? I'm only a phone call away. I'll record voicemails for you. You're like, it's fucking Thanksgiving. I forgot your dress. No way. I would just like, real long farts and then giggles. All right. I accept that. I'm never picking up the phone when you call again in case it's a real long fart and you want to record it for posterity. Thank you. For all the times I call. I think I've called you twice. Yeah. And one was after my mom died. Yeah. Yeah. The one time I think I think I've called you twice and I've been scream sobbing both of them. Great.

Who the fuck calls people? Without a like a text ahead of time, hey, I'm going to call you. Yeah. Just be ready for this. So she goes into work. She's going to be doing the orientation. Josh has something else to do, so she gets to do the orientation because, you know, she needs to step up and maybe doing the orientation would mean she doesn't have to look at people

being murdered all day. Yeah, maybe she'll get a promotion. Or sexually assaulted or thrown off of buildings or whatever the fuck. The videos she's watching are so upsetting, beheadings, a child being dragged by a bear. Sure, that she okay. Yeah, she's like, appears to be alive. Are you sure? There's parts of this movie where I'm like, are you trying to make jokes?

I couldn't tell if it was trying to make jokes or later in the movie if it was to show, because there's like a woman doing a condom demonstration and she marks it as explicit, like sexually explicit content. Yeah. But that's good information to have out there. She also does it for a woman teaching people how to use Narcan. Right. Because it's drug use. So my question was, is she slipping or is she stupid?

Yes and. Yes and. Okay. Great. I mean, she's obviously deep in PTSD and should probably be at therapy, not at job, because this seems brutal. Especially at job about viral videos. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. She goes into the stairwell. Oh, don't worry. They'll explain that in blessed detail to us later in the movie. Like, we're fucking stupid. I didn't even watch most of this movie and I understood, guys. I might be stupid. after watching this movie.

I mean, get ready for it. It's a 10, but... Oh, obviously. Obviously. Obviously. She goes into the stairwell, here's two people fucking, and here's another joke,

because she looks down and sees two people fucking and then looks up at the sign that says no fucking in the stairwell. Yeah. I think the point is that the job is stressful, but also like, I don't care. I don't care if you're fucking. So we go up on the roof to have our lunch, and that's where we meet Charlie.

X-X-X. Mm-hmm. Who is stoned. She's stoned. She's like, it's not tobacco. And she said that working here is a thrill, and she loves it. And then she asks if she's going to finish that sandwich. And I was like, can I watch her movie?

Yeah, she looked like she was having a great movie. Yeah. She's going to go off and record that soundtrack for Wuthering Heights with John Kale. Come on now. What are you talking? How do you know things? The half-war mentioned Jim Robinson loves Charlie X-E-X. Really? Jim, all right.

Sorry, Jim, we're blowing up your spot. So she goes and watches an electrocution. Yeah, you hate to see it. You hate to see it. Is this where, like, with the voiceover from the original face of death, okay. Correct, but she doesn't know because she's never seen it. Right, right, right. And she tells her boss, and he tells her to support the trend.

these low-budget remakes of horror films are really taken off. Yeah, this is fucking stupid. She allows it. And then she has a train flashback. Her sister is like lying on her side. And then you're pretty sure the train's going to hit that sister. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she goes into the bathroom and the mirror steams up,

and then we get this very artistic cut. Of? Which goes to Billy from Stranger Things in a steward. Beanie mirror. Uh-huh. And he is, uh, he's,

he's, he's, he's, he's, pouty for the whole thing. Yeah. I think he's just a pouty boy. He's a pouty boy.

Is that just his face or is that his whole thing? That's his, I think that's just his face. I don't know his whole thing. Okay. Because I've previously only known him as a wig actor. Oh, right. Stranger things.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I believe he's also Australian. Oh, that actually checks out.

Yeah. So he works out a wireless. store and he's uh he's watching a bunch of tictox or kinos. Kinos which hey by the way it's TikToks. What did you think it was? YouTube. I'm your grandma. I would have accepted Facebook as well.

I got confused later because there is a like a part because we have to watch people use a computer which is one of my least favorite things to do in a movie. I have to do this all day. Why would I watch you do this? Why would I watch you do it? I'm doing it in my hand right now because the movie be so boring. I don't want to watch you jerk off and I don't want to watch you use a computer. The two things that I do all day. All day long. Watch me jerk off and use a computer. Me personally or them,

the listeners? Go on. Later in the movie, we see a YouTube link be clicked and I was like, wait, if YouTube exists, then what's keynote? Fuck, I'm so stupid. Yeah. The old Reddit, though. It's the old Reddit. Yeah, before my time on Reddit. Oh, really? Yeah, but it was, I had to get those rods and cones installed so I could see Reddit. Exactly. That's good that you got the young eyes. Oh yeah. I stole the child's eyes.

I like Reddit. That's all. It's fine. It's fine. So he's liking content from like, what do they call those people? Influencers. Influencers. I wrote down content providers.

Content providers. That's like PBS, my dude. Content creators, I guess, is where you were leaning with that? Probably, probably. Oh, man. He finds this woman, Sam, in his, in like the company record so that he can track her down. And she's just like one of those people that puts on makeup and tells you about life. And she says that she's like talking a lot about fame.

She's saying how she's going to have to drop out of school. Yeah. Because she's too famous. Yeah. The price of fame. I'd like to take this, actually, this opportunity to, thank you, Apple, for shaking your fur all over me. We're in the annex, annex. It's hot and smoky.

out there. I'd like to take this opportunity to say hello to the listener who recognized me outside. Take a break because I was on a date and it helped. Thank you. I still have yet to be recognized in the wild. That's not true. We got recognized all over in Detroit. Oh, that's true. But people knew we were coming there. They were looking. They didn't know we were. Oh, yeah, they did. Yeah, they did. We told them. We announced it. We told them where to find us. We gave them keys to our hotel rooms and said, come on in.

Give us a little fuck if you want to. Here's my low jack code if you would have followed me on the highway. Lojack? What the fuck is low jack? Go on. Oh. So ladies, he, he, he, this movie hates people. Yeah, it hates humanity.

And it hates influencers. It hates anybody uses the internet. It hates people who like influencers. Yeah. So we see the, the, the, the influence. influencer Sam is at the gymnasium and she's trying to do a dance with her buddy and some guy walks in front of the camera and does like oh my pool noodles wiggle wiggle wiggle I wouldn't you yeah wouldn't you you film in a public place you get public people right but the the movie is in its

subtle even-handed approach to life is saying this guy's right and she's wrong she sucks and he rules well it's really mostly her reaction that that yeah because she's like People just trying to fucking work. All right. You're dancing in an indoor pool. She's probably making 60 Gs a month with that shit. Seriously. So she's in the bathroom or locker room at this indoor pool.

Sure. And she starts to hear her own voice playing her videos. Yeah. So hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. He found her earlier today, we assume. We don't know how much time has passed.

We don't. Since he found her on the internet, got annoyed or something by her. And then drove his car to her gymnasium and parked outside and was watching her. In between that time, he was able to do a cut of all of her videos together, a little splice job to be hilarious and taped to the wall.

I think so. Okay. Okay. I was going to say, I can't believe he just gets rid of this cell phone, but I guess he works in the store. So he can just do that. Sure.

Yeah. Sure. And aren't those things super traceable? But not if you're setting up the account. If you're the guy setting up the account. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So, um, she goes in and sees the video and then we see a killer in a white, like, blank mask with a nylon over his head. And like a utility jumpsuit. Sure, like a Michael Myers jumpy suit. Exactly. Yeah. It's fine. Actually, he's very Michael Myers.

He's extremely Michael Myers. Yeah. He turns off the lights. And then he stabs her with a needle. Yeah. Like an epipen. An epi pen. Yeah.

That's not a, how would people take, I don't think that's how you administer fentanyl. I don't know. Couldn't you just blow it into her face? If she was a cop, couldn't she, couldn't you just put it on a dollar bill? And then she'll die. Yes, the cop will die, yes. So we're back with, uh, with, with, uh, Margo.

And she's taken, uh, Adderall, I assume. Amphetamines? Who can say? Kids still take an anepetamine skin touch, kids. How would I know? I don't know. I didn't. I don't even know how to fentanyl.

And she sees more mannequins recreating the OG face-to-death videos. Right. There's like, this one is a different execution. This is the monkey brains one? I don't fucking know. Yeah. And now she's at the beach with a sixer.

And crawl dads are reminded her of her dead sister. Yeah, yeah. Well, Shrips is bugs too, is what I'm saying. You know, shrimps is bugs. This appears to be a workout in where they're all wearing hats that say lake life. And they all keep saying lake life. I feel like if I try to convince the people who work with me to go to a lake and

I'll wear hats that say lake life, they'd be like, nah. They should just slowly pull the pitchforks and torches up from under their desk. We'll hunt you. Lake life. And he says to her, because she's telling her boss how, you know, she thinks these are real. She's really concerned. He needs to take it seriously. And he's like, we're not the morale.

police, but like, they are. Yeah. Yeah. Although I wouldn't be surprised if these, every line that he delivers isn't a Mark Zuckerberg quote. Oh, interesting. That could very well be. Oh, this is when we learn her name is Margo. It takes a really long time to find that information.

I already knew it. The security card calls her that or roommate calls her that. You just weren't paying attention. So she goes on it gets on Reddit, fucking Reddit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. and she posts this video which she's not allowed to do because she signed an NDA.

And it turns out that the guy in the video being electrocuted is a missing filmmaker. Yeah. Yeah. In Florida. This whole thing takes place in Florida because of fucking course it does.

Like Sarasota or something. Jacksonville. Jacksonville. Jacksonville. Yeah. Oh, my God. God. So then should we jump back to the killer and he's following somebody else, a man to his house? And he cuts his own palm to get into the guy's house, as you do.

Like you do. Common everyday thing that you do to people. Being like, I cut myself. And the guy sweetly says to him, oh, do you need a hand? And he says, ha, ha, he got a new one. In wood. Wow, it came so close to spilling that. And I didn't. I love that for you. It's just water. It's just water.

It's fine. I'm going to put it somewhere else. I'm going to put it over here. I'll turn my whole body. You can put it on the table. It's fine. Yes. And I was just like, no, you have a first aid kit in your kitchen.

You're like, I'll be right back outside. Yeah, you don't want that man in your house. I'll come right back out. And then you don't give him a beer. And I was like, oh, is he doing this? Because this guy wants to have sex? I don't understand. I think the anchor man?

I think he was just a sweet man. Yeah, it was just being nice. Yeah. I think he thought that this man really was. was his neighbor, was dating his neighbor and was like, oh, okay, well, welcome to the neighborhood. I was sure that Neil the anchorman when he sat down to watch himself as an anchorman was going to start tugging it. Yeah, I mean, why else would you watch your, I don't listen to our show. You know what I mean? I only listened to it if I think it came off real bad. Those ones where you like swing the bad and just get a foul tip, you know.

I have watched all the videos from the elder Janice sets. Good for you. Just to be like, how bad did I do? I did fine. It's fine. Of course you fucking did. But you just got to know. So, yeah, he goes into the house. He gets all bandaged up. And then the guy's son is also in the house. Yeah, he's a teenager, I think.

Yeah. Yeah. So. Here's some clanking around in it. He goes to pick up his phone. His phone is gone. Yeah. And then he sees the guy. Yeah.

But it's not the guy. It's just a really bizarre thing to have set up in your home office. Oh, if you're a news anchor. You've got a mannequin waiting for you. A mannequin wearing a utility suit and a white mask? Or had like a pillowcase over its head? Why would you have that? He's got a serial killer kink?

It's such a weird... Well, and later we see that he doesn't when he gets killed by the serial killer because he doesn't have a boner as far as I could tell. It's such a weird, like, scare to have had this thing in your home. It's not like, oh, I turned the light on and it was the old Christmas tree box, you know? Something that you might have shoved in a corner.

corner. Yeah, it wasn't a conned ytti. I just happened to have a clown in my house. I'm scared. They had clowns for a reason. They were building a clown house. So it's no less ridiculous than when we get the killer reveal who is in like the crawl space in the attic that is six foot by six foot hole in the ceiling that he jumps down now.

Right. Here's the guy. Here he is. Stabs the kid too. Yeah. It gets both with the fentanyl pen. Yep. Back at Margo's work, she calls Charlie X, C, X, X, did I say that right?

Yeah, yeah, you got it, you got it. Calls her a cunt. Yeah. Not in the fun way. Not in the fun way. Sure, sure. Oh, it's X, CX? Yeah.

I thought it was X, Z X. No, no, no, no, X, X, X. It's for straight edge C's. Okay. Yeah. Does she know that she's straight edge? Yeah, I'm sure. Okay.

Nailed to it. She's as hard as a line that you snored up your nose. I'm sorry, I was making a sound that actually didn't hear that. I was making an obnoxious snorting noise. Sorry, I fucked it up. She's as straight as the line that you snort up your nose. She's as hard as the booze that you slam down your throat. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good for her. Yeah. Sounds fun. I would now try to convince you that those are Charlie X, X, X, X, X. I will believe you because I have no idea. I'm really surprised. I'm surprised, like Lucy isn't hip to Charlie X, X, X, X, X.

Should I turn her on to it? I'll ask Jim. Would you ask Jim for me? I'm not sure I could think I get Jim's number somewhere. Because she's in the Rodriguez. She's in the Rodrigo. She's in the Carpenter, which is very, very, very fucking bleak for me. She's nine.

That's too many Beager references. I know. But I think about like what I was listening to at nine, you know. Sure. What are you listening to at nine? I don't know. The oldies station. I remember I was probably like 15, but I remember listening to the band Dangerous Toys.

Oh, boy. And I had a song, a very, I would say, erudite poetic number. Sure. Called Sporting a Woody. The chorus of which, if I may. This is where I'm really regretful that we can't just drop songs in anymore, that there's laws against it now. Sporting a Woody as you're walking by. Uh-huh.

Sporting a Woody. Rip it my fly. Jesus. His part on is so strong. It's ripping through a zipper. God, that must be so painful. So excruciating. It's more wretched than this movie.

Yeah. So somebody on Reddit recognizes this as being from Faces of Death. Sure, sure. She finds out that it's only available on VHS and then just happens to have the VHS in her home. I realize that, I realize that her roommate is an artsy, fartsy movie type. Sure, who loves horror movies. It loves gore horror movies specifically. And has two copies of Independence Day. Sure. Is that a joke? Top tier gory horror movie, Independence Day. Welcome to Earth Fitch. I always confuse Independence Day and men in Black.

Sure. Both Will Smith joints. Both blockbusters about aliens? Yeah. Yeah, 100%. I'm out. Yeah. Less Jeff Goldblum in Men and Men and black. Also, I want to real quick go back to Charlie XX getting called the C-bomb. Yeah. And she did it because Charlie X-CX and her other co-workers were acting in a way that people don't act in real life. Oh, like laughing at the content that they're supposed to be moderating.

Exactly. But like, and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm living in this little nerd bubble that I live in. Like of kindness and goodwill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have cultivated a world around me where people are nice to each other. But like it just felt like these people were living internet comments. Yeah.

People don't act. People aren't trolls with their coworkers. Sure. Yeah. Maybe I'm wrong. But like it was just like, we don't know Gen Z very well. It's true.

We don't, I don't know. I barely know anyone. Who's Gen Z? Thank you for clarifying. You know a lot of people. I do know a lot of people. I've been around a long time.

You live in one city for long enough. You get recognized outside take a break. So cool. So yeah. This was like months ago. I'm still talking about it. So famous. So famous.

I recognize for your voice. For my laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great laugh. Oh, thanks.

One of the top ten. I was smoking cigarettes and take a break. I'm so sorry. To take a break or to the people around you? No, you're allowed to smoke in there. You're fine. Who are you apologizing to? You.

I don't want you to be disappointed in me. Did I? Just so you know that though I am no long. or straight edge, the edge within me has not gone dull. When I was at the aforementioned L.A. music festival that I played, I was wearing a Bain t-shirt. And a kid came out to me and was like, oh, I really like Bain. I really like this one song by them. And I was like, cool, cool, and he's smoky a cigarette while he's talking. And I was like, hey man, cool, you should check out the song superhero by Bain. It's about quitting smoking.

You said this to his child? It's sent to a child. Oh. So it's still in there. I still got it. So yes, this is where she's watching Faces of Death now, and she sees the monkey brain scene. Yeah, I do feel like I've seen that before. Sure.

And keep in mind, it's not real. They don't actually kill a monkey. It's all, like, all this stuff is faked. There's actual footage of people dying, but for the most part, things are faked in faces of death. Huh. Yeah. All of them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'll use, like, news row footage of, like, people being crows. by tanks and stuff. Yeah, yeah. But then, like, the, like, up-close murders that happen are usually fake.

Yeah. But Dwyer's pretty fucking real. That's true. That's true. That's true. Yeah. He did do it on TV, though. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Take them all with you, I guess. Classic good. Oh, bud. Pennsylvania's a great Pennsylvania. I feel like I described him as a great Pennsylvania before on this podcast,

which isn't great. I can't remember I think it's on my Fitbit that my profile picture is Bud Twire What? Why? With a trombone in his mouth And he says,

If you don't know this man, You don't know Skoll? Oh my God! My old background on my work computer Used to be, it's the picture of Jack Ruby shooting Lee Harvey Oswald But like Oswald's holding

Yeah, he's like holding a mic stand. We're the same. We're the same. We're the same. We're the same bad. We're the same kind of bad, aren't we? I'm so glad we found each other. Me too.

Just werewolf and ambulance finally got together. Oh, God. Thank you, Trib Live. Our local newspaper. So fucking confusing. So beautiful. Oh, what is Don't Fuck with Cats? Oh, I was going to bring this up.

I love this. Don't Fuck with Cats was as is a documentary that Netflix put out. about a group of internet sleuths who get obsessed with these videos of a man who is torturing and killing kittens. Oh, no. Yeah. Trying to find his identity and report him to the authorities. Oh, I see.

So what the documentary seems to presuppose is that these people do this. Okay. But what these people actually do, and if you watch the documentary and have any amount of critical thinking, you'll be like, wait, what? What they actually do is accuse the wrong man, drive him to suicide, and then the police catch the guy when he cuts up like his lover and puts him in a suitcase. So the people actually do nothing but take an innocent life by pointing the finger at this man. Yeah, yeah. But that's not the message people seem to get from this documentary.

Really? So IDK. But isn't that like half of true crime like followers and podcasts? They're just out there like doxing the wrong people? Yeah. I mean, it's pretty sure. shitty. Yeah, it turns out you need to go to school to learn how to do a lot of this stuff.

To be a cop. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. To be a cop? Nah, nah, nah, nah. It's true. All you need to do to solve crimes is to be the crossword puzzle lady for your local paper. Absolutely. To be a retired history professor or something.

Okay, thank you for explaining don't fuck with cats because I did not know what that was. Yeah, it's stupid. Can I borrow your lipstick? Knife. Can to borrow your lipstick knife? That's the thing that happens in this movie. It is Chekhov's lipstick knife. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. She goes to work. Josh is playing phone games. She gets him a Grateful Dead tickets. Does he seem like a Dead head to you? Loves them. I'm not trying to be racist, but to black people like the Grateful Dead. Did you go see the Dead at the sphere?

Get in touch. I'm sure. Maybe. I don't know. No, I don't... It's a blues. No,

the Grateful Dead are. Yeah. Sorry, Deadhead, Dan, but... Oof. Ha, ha, ho. Not dying on this hill. Yeah. So she's like, I'll cover your work.

Just give me access to your computer database. She also, when she's finding out about Faces of Death, she goes, what is Faces of Death? She does the Gam Paws

and the ad. I was like, very good. You guys owe that money for this. So she's doing uppers. Yeah.

Lots of them. Yeah. By the sandwich bag full. I have written, do I have to finish this? Wow. This is so pretty early on. Yeah.

Well, I have one, two, three, four, six more notes. So we're getting to the end. She's got a hard drive in her shoe. She's going to steal some videos. She's like buds with a security guard, though. So she's able to like sneak it through. Yeah, because she wears steel toe boots.

Oh, right. That's how she gets in the things. So we're back with the killer again. He's got people caged up in his very elaborate basement. Yeah. He, yeah, he's got money. Did he kill his parents? Is that the implication?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It's this massive McMansion house, but it's on a lot with nothing else around it. Seemingly. And a swimming pool. Yeah, and then, but like, there are definitely houses across the street. Yes, and. And he's firing a rifle at one point.

And their yard is fenced in and you can see another fence right by it. So that's somebody else's house. Yeah. I don't know. Florida. Florida, I guess just rifle shots at all times. Well, America then. Yeah, fair.

Fair. So he goes down and he's like abusing Sam, the content provider. And he prays upon her being famous and she's like, he's like, makes some like quip about like, oh, we're going to do thing and you're going to get a lot of likes and she's like a lot of like he says everybody's talking about you and she goes what are they saying yeah it's like oh she's a really she deserves to be locked in this cage and torture she's the worst of us she is the actual problem here yeah well we live in a world where literal Nazis marched on dc two weeks ago and no one seemed to give a shit no we're used to it now yeah yeah they did it um so uh so the he puts news guy neal in front of the

firing squad, recreating the SWAT team, killing a guy. Why, he's just a news guy? Is it because he watches videos of himself? Because how would he know that? Like, generally speaking, I wouldn't think of news anchors as being like publicity hounds or doing fame in a bad way. Right, right. Like, they're journalists. Unless you're that, uh, what was that, Bell lady?

Oh, Wendy Bell. That lady can suck every bit of my flaps. At least she's, she doesn't have any jobs anymore. No, no. I gave her the heart. as stink guy on earth when I saw her at Trader Joe's. At Trader Joe. She should have to shop at Whole Foods where everybody looks like they want to be dead.

Yeah. So also, Billy from Stranger Things has the same affliction as the guy from a hard ticket to Hawaii. Where he looks exactly the same with a nylon on his face and off his face. Same, exactly the same. Yeah. Yeah. So he's, yeah. Is it just like a little upturned nose will do that to you?

I think so. feel like my nose will pull a stocking very far from my lower half of my face. Sure. So you're not going to see it. But a little baby nose? Little baby white boy nose? Little baby white boy nose. Yeah, you got to get a big ethnic nose like this.

I'm looking forward to little baby white and a boy nose's new album. Little baby white, you kind of have a little baby white nose. I hate to tell you. You should probably be DJ Little Baby White Nose. Little baby white boy nose. Please. Little baby white boy knows Perfect

So yeah He uses the mannequins to kill Neil And then has like a Shakespeare Out out damn spot Cleaning his fingers seen Yeah And he loves social media Just loves it

He love hates it Loll sob I don't know what's social media He sees someone comment on it Because he's posting these for internet cloud He sees someone post This looks like a student film and it makes him really sad.

Talk, it does. It's fine. It's not good. Your movie within a movie is not good. Yeah. So now she finds the original video on Josh's computer. She takes it and she posted on Reddit and she's like, I've got the original photo guy, or video guys.

What can you tell me about this? Where is this from? Oh, this is it. That was my last note. This is a student film. He's sad. And the killer is also on the same Reddit thread that she's. on.

Doi, he's so dialed into the internet. He's the king of. He's king of. Yeah. So he's doing sleuthin. She's doing sleuthin. And then he sends her a message. And we would,

so much as he, she doing sleuthin that we get split screen of them both being on the computer at the same time. So fucking annoying. He basically like gets a link and then sets up a tracker to that link so that he can see who clicks on it. And then he puts it in a public Reddit post and then knows it's her. Uh-huh. Okay.

Yeah. And then gets her address and finds out that she's the train girl. And I think at this point we've seen the whole train video, haven't we? Yeah, I think we watch the video now. He watches the train video to learn who she is. Which is her and her sister dancing on train tracks and then the train comes. And she runs towards the camera and her sister slips and falls backwards and her head falls under the train. You don't want that.

You don't want your head to be under the train. You're your head to be in the train. That's the only acceptable place. or on top if you're like Indiana Jones I don't know or Tom Cruise in I think six out of the seven Mission of Possible

I've never seen that I just haven't that says this video is ridiculous this train video yeah it's so stupid it's so stupid also like if that we're told the police leaked it and why

oh they they love clicks they love clicks they're doing it for the doing it for the uh doing it for the graham doing it for the likes for the likes smash that subscribe button smash that surprise button did you say surprise button yep is there there could be a surprise button on the charlie x c x kino i have no idea charlie x kino it's branded now uh a cop recognizes her because she calls no that's well we can skip to that i don't care no no this is this is this is oh when she goes to report it and then yes you're right the cop recognizes her and then

she goes to work and she gets fired yeah for posting on the internet but no but then but she really gets fired because she left a sandwich bag full of drugs on her boss's desk oh that's right don't do that that's dumb thing to do it's real stupid you deserve to get fired for that because you're stupid stupid people shouldn't have jobs by the shape inside them just put them in a pen's dispenser what are we doing you're not to leave that behind yeah I saw um a cute illustration recently of a Dracula that was a Pez dispenser biting like biting in the neck of a Pez dispenser I liked it that's all I wanted to say is just that I liked it like that too you got to find the things you like in this world yeah I was like it's like

I'm like it's stupid tattoos it's getting more stupid tattoos we didn't we just decide what our friendship tattoo was going to be I already forgot oh it's going to be the thing I'm going to believe that to that oh yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, one hondo. She calls Josh an asshole, goes out and buys her own laptop. And then she's watching more videos because now she's hooked on the internet again. Yeah, she's hooked on the internet. And her roommate's like, oh, no, you've got a laptop.

I really don't want anything bad to happen to you with your new laptop. And I care about you so much. And I'm just a genuinely good-hearted person. So I'm a sweetie die. I'm just a nice boy. Just a nice boy. So nice. He dies.

Don't worry. Imagine if this had actually worked up or critique of internet culture. If they had taken the time to work up a legit critique of things. I think that's an easy thing to do too. Sure. Yeah. I mean, yeah. At this point, just type in AI.

Give me a critique of internet culture. And they will be like, yes, all these papers that other people have written. Don't give them ideas. Anything would have been great. So, she posts about stopping the killer. She also brushes her teeth with charcoal toothpaste. And I was like, is that a thing that we're supposed to hate her for? Yeah, because she's being influenced.

I feel like only influencers use that. Also, it's really bad for you guys. Don't use it. Super abrasive. You don't want that. Yeah, you got to take that enamel off. You need your enamel. Yeah, it's good.

It's crush. That's what I have to keep me rubbing my teeth together while I sleep. Sure. Yeah. I had to get a bunch replaced because my braces took it off. Oh, damn. Yeah. So she.

You have braces? is a bridge kid for like four years because I wouldn't wear my rubber bands cool mom I had a fucking I had head gear I wore that in school once

oh man yeah not again not again yeah not a good time so we we oh the killer is going to her house now and he's like

psyching himself up to go killer he picks the lock And I was like, hey man, lockpicking. That's pretty cool. I should probably learn how to do that. Yeah, lock picking rules. And we get a fight between the killer and her roommate, which is like pretty evenly matched.

And I was like, this movie would fucking rule if the roommate just beat the shit out of the killer and got him arrested. That would be such a good twist. I would love that. I just want to point out that this movie was written by a former cam girl. So she's like critiquing the system she was a part of. doing it so badly. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. So she hears him crying, comes out, and I have a note that says she gets killered because he does his killer business and injects her with the Fed doll as well. Yep. And then we cut to her waking up being dressed up by the killer. Right.

And she's also in a cage with the train video on a loop because that's what makes her a bad person, I guess. What is his end game? Just be big on the internet? I guess. Okay. So she's, she's,

she's pulling a chair close to herself to get to her sweater where her lipstick knife is. Mm-hmm. And then she unscrews and, oh, he's making videos,

he's doing live streaming of himself melting the roommate's body with acid. So boring. So, so fucking boring. I'm being serious right now. It's so fucking boring.

The movie is fucking painfully, yes. So boring. It should be upsetting. There should be commentary going on. There should be something. about how awful we are as a species.

I should care about any of these people or their motor. Because when she has this conversation with her roommate, she's like, I just thought that if I could stop people posting these videos on the internet, it would mean that my sister didn't die for no reason. It's like, yes, you don't have to fucking tell me that. I've seen a movie. I've read a book. I am capable of consuming media and making inferences.

That's all. That's all. Sure. So she gets herself free. she unscrews her cage, she gets out, she helps the streamer get free, Sam, and then starts looking for evidence

because she's got to get evidence to report to the police. Right. She's very focused on evidence. She finds evidence. She does. But Sam busts out a window and starts running around the yard. But Sam's like, I got to get out of this house and she's like, wait, I got to, hold on, I got to. No, Sam needs to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to get Sam out of there. And then their teenage boy is asleep. or because I thought he was just in total shock because his dad was dead. I see. She doesn't get him out. Yeah. She leaves him.

She does. Yeah, I'll come back for you. Oh, yeah. She hides with some mannequins by putting on a baseball cap. That's all you got to do in this day and age. Yeah. I do like what she climbs the fence and she just falls over it. I thought that was pretty far.

I was like that same girl. Yeah. She hits the ground really hard. She like busts up her face pretty good. Yeah, yeah. So she runs, she gets the cops. She calls the cops. They come back to Arthur's house.

Arthur is the name of the killer. Right. Which we learned because he calls 911 himself. Yes. Yeah. And he like basically like out 911s her by being the white man in the room. Yeah. This is a nice little commentary.

Actually, women be crazy, men be trustworthy. Exactly. Fucking cops. Eggs her into attacking him. And then the cops take her away. And don't ever go into his house, even though Sam is wrapped in plastic on his kitchen floor just behind him. And so he texts her phone and says, return the hard drive for the people die. I miss type that and said, he texts her to return the hard drive for the people do.

People do. It's on her little like Nokia flip phone or whatever, her Motorola. So she's going back to his house. The cab driver recognizes her from the train video. And I was like, who is everyone's watched this video? Yeah, and also what this movie presupposes is that people would feel not feel sorry for her. People would feel like aggression towards her. You would never.

You would never. So weird. Yeah. At this point I have a note that says this is getting tedious. Oh, it's so tedious and there's still like 35 minutes left. So we got to speed on through it. So he's, he's, oh, this is, I'm almost out of notes. She stabs him a bunch with her tiny knife

He says to her Your sister was a real face of death You get a movie title quote And is that supposed to be like Hmm I see oh I see That's interesting I will think about this

While I lie awake in bed tonight That's interesting Fuck you They fight He beats her with a mannequin head She stabs him a bunch of times and then stabs him with like some camera spike hoisted on his own potard, I guess. Oh, wow.

You skipped way ahead. That's fine. Oh, no. That's... That's really it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, rad. Oh, God, it felt like it went on for so much longer than that.

For sure. It felt achingly long. Yeah. So she uploads the video of him getting killed. Yeah. And then starts... She's like in the nude at this point, too. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she's been covered in his blood. So she's been taken off her clothes. And she's just like sits down and she's like... laughing and crying. And that's the end of this fucking movie. Thank God. Faces of death.

Can I rate it? I would rather watch the original faces of death than this movie. And I do not want to watch that movie. I would rather cut off the tip of my left pinky finger than watch either of them ever again. Okay. Okay. And that includes Faces of Death Six or whatever the fuck I saw. This is a zero.

It's a hard zero. It's nothing. It's shit. It's shit. It's shit. Yeah. It's really, really shitty. It's a really shitty movie.

Yeah. I think wretched is the best way to describe it. It's wretched, yeah, absolutely. I can't disguise it. It has 69% on Rotten Tomatoes, which makes me think people are very, very dumb. And also, nice. Nice. I can't decide if I should rate it shits of death or faces of shit.

Why not both? Yeah, there we go. Why not both? Because then I don't want people to think that I'm giving it a two. I guess I am number two. Number two, shit. Yeah, this is garbage. I hope you did not watch this.

If you did, I'm sorry. But I'm actually not even sorry. Alan's sorry for you because I didn't do it. Oh, Katie. Alan. Can I read you a mailbag? Sure. Dear Alton and Cassie.

Fuck off. No, that's good. I like it. Thanks for the years of amazing podcasting. Love the banter. Love your friendship. Love that you're both on the right side. history with your politics.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. We got political. I'm so sorry. You're my go-to when I want to feel good about the world. Sincerely, blunt force grandma. You won the internet.

You did it. We can shut it down now. Oh, I love you. I have nothing else to say. I've said it all. And you want to do another movie next week? Yeah, we already told them what we're going to do. We're going to be a little bit.

Feast. I'm putting the movie that we were doing down on the list because it's a saddie. Yeah, it's a saddy. I don't need a saddy. It's not a saddy. No, not as no one's, no one ever said that as far as I'm concerned. Zaddy? Yeah. You said it. No one else. It was an Alan thing. It was an Alanism. I'm pretty sure that's what people call Pedro Pascal. No. NAR. How would I know? I've never actually seen him in anything.

I know who he is though, because of the internet. Sure. And your love of a Mandalorian. Be fucking professional dog. We've got to stop recording with the dog in the room. It makes you so happy. Yeah, I know. She's a sweetie pie. So yeah, we're going to do Blood Feast.

Come back for that classic. We're going from flaccid to classic. Perfect. Oh, my God. I'm going to start saying that to men. My Platonic Life Partner said this, and I would like to repeat it to you. I love it. It's in print now that we're Platonic Life Partners.

Yeah. Oh, Apple. Such an... Okay. Does it sound like a cat throwing up? You know, I don't know dogs. All right. All right.

So, yeah, go buy a T-shirt at the summertime. Go get a tank top. Yeah, for tea public. You can get our merch. You can join us on Patreon at patreon.com, backslash Whirlf Ambulance, where we have a ton of action movies. We just put up a new one, hard ticket to Hawaii, which I fucking loved that movie so much.

I asked friend of the podcast, Taylor, if he'd ever seen it, as he is a fan of those types of movies. And he goes, that's like my favorite movie of all time. It was so good. I did go in to make sure that all of the episodes of Nice One Mate are indeed free for everyone to listen to. Oh, yeah. You got to pay for hard ticket to Hawaii, but Nice One Mate is free because nobody wants it. That's called Supply and Demand, baby.

Hopefully we'll be coming back with episode three of season two soon. Maybe we can do that next week. Maybe. Maybe. I love that for us. All right. All right, I got to go breathe smoke, I guess. Yeah.

Fires. Canada, take your smoke back. Take your smoke back. I'm supposed to walk to the bar. and I don't want to. All the things we've given you? Seriously. I'm sorry.

Aggression? Yeah. We're terrible. Smoke us out. It's fine. It's fine. We had it coming. But not the north.

Not the north. We did our parts. It's Canada trying to fumigate America right now. Thank you for listening to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. Bye. Bye.