Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 571- Lee Cronin's The Mummy

Episode Date: August 24, 2026

Hoo boy. In this week's episode, we're discussing why on earth Lee Cronin had to put his whole ass name on this movie (wrong answers only). Special topics for your consideration include: bad momming, stereotypical scarabs, ancient languages, claw machine games, and toenail shit. Want to hear us discuss some other Mummy films? We've got Episodes 207, 485, and 547. You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes, incluidng this month's entry, "The One." We are also getting into the meat of our second season of "Nice One, Mate!" which is FREE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A PATRON. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.   Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously we have the best EMTs, hands down.

Blue Mouse. Oh, Bloom House. James Juan. James Juan. Lee Cronin. I don't fucking know Lee Cronin. You're not one of them. He's trying, though.

He's got his name as the possessor of this film. This is fucking embarrassing. This is like me being like Katie, Werewolf's skin cancer. Like, I would not put my name on it. You know what I'm saying? Alan Ambulance is Chlamydia. factory. Exactly. We should open that. There's some weirdos out there and they'll get in.

I have a theory about why it's Lee Cronin's mummy. Tell me. Nobody else wanted to take credit for this. They're like, no, this is yours. You put your fucking name on it. You go out there and you rub your nose in it. He was like, I can't just call it the mummy and they were like, no. Absolutely. Oh, and you have to take accountability for your actions. Twenty-two million motherfucking dollars. Do you know what that, could buy in this world. You know any people that could feed? Sure. A lot. A lot. A lot.

That would have been so much better than making this movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that what it cost to make? That's the budget of this film. Okay. 22. If some, look, we are fucking amateurs. Yeah. In the most basic sense of the word, we've never made, I've never made a movie, you?

Not that I know of. Not that you know of. Not that was scripted. I'm 80% sure I'm still in a Truman show situation. They're like, wow, he really loves Margo's Got Money Problems. I feel like if someone handed us $22 million, we could make a better movie than this. Because we would hire people who knew what they were doing. Sure. And we have better ideas.

And not just ripping off every other horror movie you've ever seen, including one that you made. Including one that you made. And then like having them all as jigsaw puzzle pieces, that instead of putting together, you just stack on top of each other and tie with a little ribbon in our, like, movie? They're all perfectly square around the edges. Yes, why are they all edge? Oops, all edges. Fuck.

Oh, so thanks so much for listening to this episode. Seriously, that's about the extent of the notes I took. Oh, I am, I am, I am, I am hugely noted on this movie, including one that says B.H is not the flex that you think it is. B.H. If Bloomhouse just lists itself as B.H. That's Buhl. That's Buhl. That's Buhl.

All day long. All day, every day. Oh, I guess we have to get into the nitty gritty. People want to hear it. Lee Cronin. Lee Cronin, no. I enjoyed that, that Evil Dead movie that he did. It wasn't funny, but yes.

True. Yes, I think that's the major thing that the Evil Dead movies are lacking currently as being funny. Which makes me think that Lee Cronin, can't read the room. Sure. Sure. I'm sure.

Oh, he's Irish. A fucking course he is. You know how I feel. Katie's views on the Irish to not reflect the views of werewolf ambulance? My grandfather said they were whiter than us. So we started off with what I thought was a family riding in a car together. Are they not?

I don't think so. I think they are. No, that's a. the family because she wouldn't be that mad if she didn't have three kids around her at all times so dad and the kids are having fun singing along to this boppy little pop song popy little pop song and mom ain't having it no she is both striking yeah so striking looking and mad as fuck yeah to which uh caused me to have a note that said women am i right oh no fucking fun it's true I also at one point

I thought that this movie believed in my fallacy that women don't exist so just make them anything you want them to be I like this idea I mean it does kind of treat it that way doesn't it Oh my God it's one of the most Oddly misogynistic films I've ever seen Let's dig into that

Yeah But so much so that I can't put my finger out But I'm like you don't like women No I'm just coming down on you don't like women Or counterpoint Yeah. Women don't exist.

Women don't exist. Women can be anything you want them to be. I can't wait for you to run for public office on this platform. There are only men. There is only one gender. It's a men. No, I'll accept trans folks. Oh, sure.

Women, hard no. Imagine if this was your first episode of listening to us, you'd be like, does he really think women don't exist? Who's he talking to? I'm going to try and get all those birds aren't real people on my side. God, I love that phenomenon. Someone should do an edit of this, not like Garfield without Garfield,

where they just take Katie out of the episode and it's just an insane man giggling. Stop laughing. They get home, they've got a pet bird. Yeah, not for long, though. That bird did not die in natural death. It doesn't seem to. It's not even dead yet, actually.

No, it's, it's... There's... What? There's a close caption that said feeble chirp. Feeble chirp. You know what? That's a song on our record for, you want something to cry about.

Dad, can't you hear my feeble chirp? The bird is bleeding. More blood than any bird can ever have. That means that birds are just, I know their bones are hollow and all, but they can't just otherwise be sacks of blood, can they? No,

had a condors amount of blood inside of it. The mom picks it up. She's holding it in her hands. And then in order to put it out of its misery? She closes her fist around the bird. Yeah, like fucking Lenny Petigica, fucking bunny just kills that thing right now. In front of the children.

Yeah. It's just like, I don't give a fuck how evil this woman is supposed to be. She would not have done that in front of her children. No. Like, again, this is like, this is, this is the like complete disregard for women being human beings that this movie feels. Right, because the premise of the film insists that the evil has been dormant for a long time. Sure, yeah. So like throughout these children's lives, she hasn't had to deal with it.

So she's just a regular ass person who is, of course, part of a cult. But like, she's doing school drop off. She's packing lunches. Sure. You know, like, she's not just like every day doing evil shit. Right. No. And, and, and ostensibly, the reason she's doing evil shit is to keep this evil out of the world, to keep this demon chained inside of a sarcophagus.

Exactly. A beautifully designed sarcophagus. Yeah. Yeah. But like, so she's not inherently, like, unless she's been tainted by the evil. But I don't think. she's ever had to handle it to this point because it was passed down to her through generations, right? But she also has a, like, really hip hand tattoos as well. I don't know about that. I don't

know nothing about that. So it's just like, what is your, what's your life? What are you doing? So she puts the bird out of its misery and then goes to visit her tomb through the chain, the chain trapdoor tomb. Yeah, we all got a little pyramid inside our house that we go and hang out in. I actually have two pyramids, but they live inside me. They're warring at all times. They just won't stop fucking, these two pyramids. They keep making, you know, the rectangle with two bags, as it were. Interesting.

I would have thought it was the point, two points. Oh, okay. All right. I don't know how sex works. I just think they're sliding up on each other making a rectangle. Oh, no, I like that. Yeah. Yeah, that's better.

It's like a pyramid 69. You're better at sex than me. I'm definitely better. at rhombus sex or whatever. So we go down and the trapdoor leads to the room that has the like hellraiser sarcophagus in it. You got to keep it in your house. Yeah.

Why? That's because you got to know where it is. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then you need the demon hand lift apparatus to pull it up. I, if I'm going to die and I'm not sure that I will. Yeah. But if I am, I hope it's by like a claw machine claw.

Because he gets killed by a claw machine. Yeah. Like he's plucked up like a Luigi doll. Sure. At the boardwalk. Why not make this like whole sarcophagus room, just like this like pink pony club extravaganza. Like you could make it exciting and cool in there. I'm not sure pink pony club means what you think it means or maybe it does.

Who knows? I know from fucking rompuses. I don't know no pink pony clubs. But I'm just saying like the fact that it's like it's miserable in there. Right. Even the apparatus is like evil looking to lift the sarcophagus lit up. Right. So you could take a little peeky peek at the mermy inside of it.

The mermy inside. This is the opening to our film. Mm-hmm. Dad dies. The mermy's not dead. The mermy's alive. The mermy's alive. Dad is not.

Why? That gets hooked in the face. Yeah. Mom just watches him get hooked in the face. Just not try to get him off the apparatus. I mean, yeah, that's pretty evil. Yeah. now who's going to raise these fucking kids and not going to be you you're mean you're mean you're

fucking fucking bird crushing mom yeah uh yeah i mean that's gonna come up in therapy for all three of those kids later on she just crushed the bird right in front of me right in front and the therapist is like are you fucking kidding me i can't wait to tell my like therapist group about this and the therapist is like what's a mom what are women what are you talking about oh you mean other dad I just have a note that says, Wiley Cronins, I wonder. Why is it his mummy? I love that you're still turning that notion over in your head,

having seen what you've seen now. So we cut to a fingey tapping on a table. I hate when men tap. Oh, yeah. Just a thing to say. Sure. I hate when men tap. It's always aggressive.

I don't care what you're doing. It always just raises my blood pressure by this much. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But he's working on a Morse code with his daughter. He being the boyfriend from Midsummer. Boyfriend from Midsummer.

It took me a while to realize who he was. I didn't realize it until after when I looked it up because I liked him in that movie. I thought he was pretty good. Yeah, how about in this movie? Wouldn't as fuck. Yeah. Just opening your eyes super wide is not acting. I mean, again, I didn't go to film school, but I'm not sure.

It's true. Do you think him and Laurie were just like, okay, so character, character, character. What if we just open our eyes really wide? Really wide. Like at everything.

Yeah. Like we're just shocked. I watched this movie with a person who has a master's degree in screenwriting. And he was like, I just imagine that the director was like, okay, act scared.

And they were like, okay, but why? And he was like, shh, act scared. And he just walks over to the wall where it's got the poster for Lee Cronin's the mermaid up on the long. She's like, mm. This, why?

This one right here. Lee Cronin be pointing. When Lee Cronin points, you listen. I guess he would say it with an Irish accent, though. Because of course he's fucking Irish. So the daughter is very good at Morse Code, but I do have a quibble with the family's argument that pizza without cheese is not pizza. All right, vegan over here.

I love a tomato pie. Tomato pie is fucking delicious. My niece, one of my nieces picks the cheese off pizza. It bothers me. Yeah. I mean, then, yeah, yeah, that's a hat on a hat. You don't need to do that. That's too much.

Picking the cheese off. You just eat the cheese at that point, but a tomato pie is a good fucking slice. But I don't think that's a pizza. All right. That's a tomato pie. Okay, okay. What about deep dish? Let's get into this.

You know, I don't mind a deep dish. Yeah, I've never had deep dish pizza. You might like it. I mean, it's cheese, bread, and tomato. There you have it. fucking love it. All pizzas. A. P.A.B. All pizza is beautiful. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. So she's, she's like in the Egyptian Girl Scouts. Yeah.

Egyptian Girl Scouts. Yes, these are, this is an American family. Yeah. Living in Egypt because he's a news correspondent. Correct. Which we realize when he comes on the screen and I was like, wait, is that, is that the same, is that the same guy? Why am I so stupid? Why have we seen so many movies recently with newscasters watching themselves on TV? Very strange. Very strange. Although did you look, I'm not trying to be, I'm not trying to come off as ignorant here. Yeah. But when we meet Larissa, did you assume that she was Egyptian meant to be Egyptian and not Hispanic American? No, no, no, no, no. I did, unfortunately, because I thought it was just a dumb casting. And I was like, well, when they go to like talk to the police, I was like, why isn't, why doesn't she know Arabic then if she's from here? I assumed he met her there. Sure.

And I thought she just was doing a weird, I really, I mean, come on this fucking movie. Again, women are everything, so they can be everything. It's true. You know, growing up when I was told, you can be anything you want to be, it's really just because I didn't exist. You can be an airplane if you want to be. Broom! I might have to put that joke to bed.

Delay to rest. You put it to bed when I stop enjoying it. So there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a brother is being a dick to Katie. Yeah. The brothers. I was wondering if that was one of the things that put you off about this movie, having the, uh, the young child being named Katie. To be reminded that there are other katies in the world. Yeah.

Yeah. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know some Katie's. I got, I got some good friends, Katie's. Yeah. Yeah. So there, there's like a, a dispute between the brother and sister. And, of course, the brother is not reprimanded. in this situation, but the sister is.

Katie. And Seb. Seb. Sebastian, yeah. And I think Lorissa is pregnant, correct? Correct. There's another babby on the way. Oh, right. I have written, this is why I only had one child.

Because of Lee Cronin. Yep, retroactively. So, oh, so mom heads out to work. And Katie goes to play in the garden by herself. And dad gets a phone call offering him the job in New York City. He's going to be on the big show, the morning show in New York City. That's right.

They can't wait to get back to America because her mom lives in Albuquerque. Albuquerque. Albuquerque. Albuquerque. Albuquerque. Which top ten fun words to say. Albuquerque. Elbuquerque.

Delawareian. Claudia. Oh, yeah. Albuquerque. So tell me about Layla's mom. Layla's mom for some reason now is a specter. Why didn't she look like a person? She looked like a person earlier.

I don't know. Is the fact that the evil is out like draining her in some way? I don't, I can't comprehend this character at all. She seems to have superhuman healing powers as well. She does. She's magic. I mean, they call her the magician. She's the magician.

But I don't know exactly why because it seems like the most magical thing she does. is kidnap a child, which any human can do. I'll point out that she pulls out one of those fake floral bouquets that show the child of magic trick. She does the scarf after scarf after scarf from her sleeve. It's Eli Bosnick in here. Oh, that revelation that he was as a magician.

I believe you didn't know that. It was so fun that you didn't. Katie likes candy and humstamunks us. Doi. And then she offers her what I thought was an apple. Yes, so did I. But it's a nectarine.

It's a nectarine, which is way better than an apple. What? Apples are bottomed here fruit. I'll eat them. I like them. I'll wipe it in some peanut butter and jam it down my gullet. But stone fruit is superior. I think because it's like rarer.

You can get an apple anytime here. You can't get a nectarine anytime here. It's true. But I don't crave a nectarine like I do an apple. Weird. I love an apple. You're a red delicious man. No.

I say that with all of the insult in my voice. I'm a pink lady and you know it. It's true. I'm a gala girl. I'll fuck with a Fuji. Fugee's good. No, I like an apple. I just think it's like, I think it's like the most basic of fruits.

Okay. Would you put bananas in the same category? I would. Available year round here. Yeah, yeah. Love a banana though. Every day, you eat a banana every single day. Yeah.

Okay. Got to keep them potassium low. is up. Yeah, I should eat more fruit. A little patas. So she gives her the nectarine and a scarab runs out of the nectarine. And I was like, really? We're doing scarabs in Egypt again. Yeah. We're back to that.

Come on. That's not for real. It just, it seems too on the nose. Look, Lee Cronin saw the Brendan Fraser mummy. And he was like, they got them beetles. You sure he didn't see the Tom Cruise movie? The Tom Cruise movie is so much better than this. If I was given the choice to watch one or the other, I'm picking Tom Cruise all day. Sure.

Sure. Sure. It's got Jake Johnson and you can't go wrong with that guy. So the beetle goes into the mouth of Katie. Katie drops to the ground. Yes, it goes down her throat. To this, I've written, that child has an Apple Watch, but mine can't be trusted with bubble gum. And then there's this, dad realizes.

the Katie's missing, goes on this yakety sacks ass chase through town. Yes. He runs through like a truck moving chickens and like a pane of glass, a bunch of watermelons. I also thought the sandstorm in Egypt was racist. You found that racist. I think I just immediately from the jump had this ill will towards this movie. And I was like, this is misogynist and fucking racist.

Well, it just felt like, yeah, okay, yes, no, I understand. You want to be the mummy. You want to be the mummy movies. We've got to have a sandstorm to be a mummy movie. You got to have a scarab. This is a man from Ireland. He's never been to Egypt. He only knows what he saw on TV.

It's true. It's true. It's true. We cut to them in the police interview room. Correct. And they're being interviewed by a woman in a hijab And her older male boss Who clearly suspects them of some wrongdoing

Sure I mean I would assume in these cases The parents are the first ones that you suspect I guess so Yeah I guess so Yeah yeah yeah But she doesn't You can see it in her eyes And then dad freaks out when he realizes

That the guy is accusing them of stealing their own child their own child, right. Because the cop is like, they probably fucking accidentally killed the kid and now they're hiding the body. That's very like the I know what you did last summer premise, but okay. And then dad goes full toxic dad skillinity. Oh, toxic dad skillinity. Yeah.

I like that. Tell me more. Starts trying to flip the table. Yeah. How men mad? Flip table. Flip table. And also there's a little.

an implication that he's kind of at fault for her going missing because he was on duty at the time. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if he doesn't feel that himself, I would be surprised. Right. But it seems like his wife does too. Sure. Sure. Yeah. When we cut to eight years later and we find out that there's still a loving couple, I was blown away. Absolutely insane. Absolutely insane that that would happen. Smaller things than this have destroyed movie relationships. For sure. Yeah. Because they have the child with whom she was pregnant at the time. This is Maude.

Yeah. Maud's cute. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Also, I just realized how don't look now this is. Oh, but that's such a good movie. Sure. Yeah.

Why is that good and this bad? Lee Kronin? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And no Donald Sutherland ass. No extreme sex scene between Donald Sutherland and Julie Christy. No, just like extremely

realistic sex scene. Yeah. Just banging away. Just taking it to pound-tow. Fucking jackhammering. I don't even remember that. I remember just being like kind of like fucking uh, like vanilla ass sex, but it would just being like,

no, that feels real. I think they might be fucking right now. There was a rumor that they did. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think so. I think they did. I would let Donald's other one put it in. And he's dead. Katie Sorry Sorry Donald Sutherland

They didn't age The man in any way The dad He looks exactly the same They like cut mom's hair short Because older women Have to get shorter haircuts To be less attractive

We don't want to confuse the young No no No she's old now see Although I have noticed that trend changing I see a lot of older women With long hair now I appreciate it Yeah I mean I think that's an outdated

It's like the no white after Labor Day rules You get old, you cut your hair? No. Sure. Nah, nah, nah. Also, the soundtrack at this point is just some Lord of the Rings' ass music. And I was just like, word, we're just doing. Like, it's not that grand.

What are we doing here? You're not going to go throw the ring in a fucking mortar. Nothing needs to sweep. No. So we get mom in Katie's room. She's leaving a light on for Katie. I hate this. I mean, I hate it for my sadness, yeah.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. But there's a new daughter in town. What if they named her Katie, That's what I think I have a note that says how is that Katie, too? Katie, too. Also, I was going to say, why didn't they move to New York? Because I think he didn't get the job because they were staying in Cairo to look for their daughter.

Yeah. And then, so the job opportunity passed. Well, good, because he was like, what do you think about this baby being a Yankees fan? And I was like, fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you. Pirates fan. Be a Mets fan, if nothing else, you know. How the Pirates do in this season?

Shut up. Shut your fucking mouth The one day I texted you Because they lost 11 to 1 And you were like Did you just text me about sports? I love that you checked in on me About my sports feelings

Because that's a true fucking friend So Seb Sebastian Want to go to Europe He's like a teenager Yeah Yeah And like with a name like Sebastian Why wouldn't you want to go to Europe

That's like your homeland It's your homeland He's very sassy. Yes. Wait, this is their living in Albuquerque at this point. Right. With grandma. With grandma.

Yeah. Who is just such a caricature of a character. She is the most like, like Latita grandmother that's ever existed. She's just like Catholic. I did really like the thing where Maude is losing her tooth. Yeah. And she shows it to grandma and grandma punches her dentures out at her. Grandma, you psycho.

I'm a fan of grandma. Are you? Yeah, especially later when she gets awesome. Well, yeah. Okay. I'm not a fan of what happens to grandma. No, I'm a fan of what happens to grandma. I was like, this is a cool thing.

Like, you're finally doing a cool thing in this movie. You think? When she gets eaten alive by coyotes? Yes. I need something to hang my hat on here. I think it a little later on. Okay, okay. Yeah.

Anyway, so we cut back to Egypt and there's a kid on a bike and his chain has popped off his bike. And behind him we see a plane fall out of the sky. Just crashes right into the ground. Yeah. And he goes to investigate as you would. He finds a person with like an impaled through the eye thing. This is the first cool thing in the movie. But also like logistically, how does that work?

How do you fall out of a plane and then fall perfectly backwards into a tree? Maybe he landed on his feet and was like, I made it. And then like a stiff wind happened and knocked him into the branch. I love it. I love it. But he finds our sarcophagus from earlier in the film. Right. Where was it being flown to?

I don't know. Where were they taking Katie? But it happened near the nectarine farm. The plane dropped out of the sky. Sure, yes. So did it like boop the sarcophagus out of the ground? Was it not in the plane? Oh, I don't know.

I don't know. I know. You think you bury it a bit deeper. It's never talked about again that it was being flown somewhere. No, you're right. Layla's mom isn't like, oh, yeah, I was actually going to send that to George W. Bush. Because fuck that guy. This is your responsibility now.

You be shit. I love that. Yeah, just turn it into a chain letter where you just have to send it to somebody. It's the ring, but it's a sarcophagus containing an eight-year-old half-mumified girl. Come on. The mummy seems to be wrapped in skin when we see it. Like dried skin, if you say so.

And she wakes up screaming with these scientists poking around. Right. And then we come back to the family going for pizza. I have who denies a child two slices of pizza. Yeah, two slices. Two slices is your warm up. Also, mom, when that kid doesn't finish that other slice of pizza, guess who gets another slice of pizza?

You do, mom. You know, and I have said, since my child began eating, solid food that there are no calories and scraps. You eat their scraps? That's free. That's free food. It's one of those canonical things about being a human being like dumpsters making donuts vegan.

There are no calories and scraps. Exactly. Canonical human food. Canonical human food. Canonical human food. They get a call from Cairo while they're out getting pizza. Yes. Who's on the phone? A man with an absolutely beautiful nose. I could not stop.

I could not stop with his nose. nose. I did not notice the nose. It was spectacular. Okay. I'll have to go back and rewatch this just to see the nose. No, I don't bother. I won't.

They found Katie. They got Katie. She alive. How they know it's Katie? They're like, oh, it looks like her. Let's say they got DNA samples from the parents. But she's wrapped in mummy skin. I guess they could get swab the inside of her mouth.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Oh, imagine your breath after being in a fucking sarcophagus for a years. Oh, I have coffee breath right now and it feels worse than that. Her face is ridiculous. It looks terrible, right? Like, why does she have a lazy eye? She's a demon. But that's not what happens, is it? Did they just take one of your eyes and droop it? I know they put your brains out through your nose. No, but she's a demon. She got a demon inside her. But still. Well, she's not a mermaid. She's a demon.

Their belief is that they were doing human trafficking via sarcophagus. And I just don't think that makes any sense. Because if you're trafficking children, you don't want them to look like that? There is a market for fermented children. It's like the mother of a kombucha, right? She's the sourd dough starter of a child. Okay, fair enough. You got it.

So the doctor's like, hey, your kid is mad fucked up. So like, be cool. Take her home? Can you be cool? Can you just take her home and be cool? Just put her on a plane to America. How'd she get to America? Can you just get this kid out of here?

Can you just like? Blach. Stakes. How does a doctor not notice that her skin isn't her skin? I mean, you'd think. You'd think, right? This is Cairo. It's the capital of Egypt.

They've got modern medicine. Like, that also feels a bit racist where it's like, we just stupid. hospital people. No, of course not. Some doctors should be like, yo, pst, I'm in her skin. That's somebody else's skin, dog. It's got shit written on it. Come on. Come on. Come on. Oh, man. I like when Americans try to pretend like we don't live in a third world country. No. I bet Egypt has better health care than we do.

100%. All right. So, uh, grandma's home making a lot of cakes. We see grandma making a lot of cakes to make up all these missed birthdays. Yes. And I'm just thinking, did they not warn grandma whoops they were bringing home? Yeah, that like it's not, doesn't really look like Katie. And also, she smells like putrefied death. Also, hot tip, she's a murmy now.

She's a Murmys. She's a Leigh Cronin's Murmie. And then in a movie, in a world. Yeah. A stupid scene. Yeah. The stupidest scene in this movie. Describe it to me, Alan.

This is a child who might weigh, a sopping wet 80 pounds. Sure. How do they get her up the stairs? How do they get her up the stairs? They carry her up the stairs in a wheelchair, up three flights of steps. Do you think they just didn't want to touch her skin? I don't know.

Dad later picks her up and puts her in bed. That's true. And she seems very carryable. Yeah, she doesn't fight to be carried. You know what you can do, guys? You can take her out of the chair. You can pick her up. And you can take her up.

And then you fold up the wheelchair, which makes it much more portable. Even, I'm going to say you employ Seb in this operation. Yeah, he can take the wheelchair up. Mom and Dad carry the kid up the steps. Wheelchairs aren't that heavy for this particular purpose. And so, what are we doing, movie? Why is there this long scene of them slapping her ass? It's so stupid.

Lee Cronin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, we missed an earlier scene where dad was being a dick to the cop lady again. Because now she's like a detective herself. And has removed the hijab because I guess we're the Arab Spring. Oh, right. Yeah. Right.

True. Oh, nice. Well, he was covering the Arab Spring before that. That's right. Yeah. True. True. So that's like a little Lee Kronin being like, see, I watch TV news sometimes or I did back then.

So for the one and only time in this movie, we get a Katie's eye view of what's going on around her. Is this the only time? I think so. I don't remember it happening again. I don't either. Where like everything's muffled. Yes. And she can't really, because she has somebody else's skin covering her body.

I mean, she's been mummified. She's been mummified. Partially. And Grandma's praying. Yeah. And Maude is telling her about all the Taylor Swift stuff that she's missed while she was away. Which honestly felt like the truest part of this movie. Yeah, that was most honest thing.

And then Katie fucking Graham, headbutts grandma. Yeah, head picture. Grandma. Irish kiss. Lee! Because she says amen. And then Katie's like, no, we don't do that in this house. And then you're going to have a possessed child movie. Maybe don't do Exorcist stuff in bed.

You think no? Maybe don't have her like raise up like the Exorcist child. Well, everybody liked it in The Exorcist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. It's true.

Oh, silly, silly, silly, silly, silly, silly. He's Danziging right now. He's wearing his influences. He's doing what? He's wearing all of his influences. He's wearing all of his influences. And just shoehorning them into whatever format. Sure.

But he had money. Danzig's doing it on a shoestring, you know? It's true. But at least he knows one to cut a seam. Danzig. Oh my God. Remember that woman looking in the mirror for like 15 street minutes? I might rewatch Verotica, actually.

My special geology? Oh man, what a bad movie. What a classically bad movie. Genuinely so much heart. Yeah. He's the Don Doller of our time. How dare you take that saint's name in vain? St. Don Doller.

We should get St. Don Doller tattoos. That'll be our matching tattoo. Don Doller with a halo. Don Doller as the sicko guy. Yeah. So. I have to explain that to some. All right.

This is a fucking onion. Sit down. It's going to take me a while. I already have to explain having Nelly lyrics on my butt to new lovers. Not a thing I considered when I got it. New lovers. Hello, new lover. A new lover.

I need to warn you. No, it's not an STD. I just have Nelly lyrics tattooed on my butt. So Maud goes to Seb for, comfort. They have a good loving relationship. Yeah. I appreciated that. He's probably like, I got to watch out on this one. She might disappear too.

So dad starts, he starts journaling or journalisting. Journalisting. It turns into a journalist. Starts doing his investigations. Right. And this is where heaven knows says, oh, he's the boyfriend from Bitsummer. Hey. So Maude is woken up in the bunk bed sleeping above her brother. He's way too old to share a room with her. Sure. I think this was, I think.

She has her own room. I see. I didn't realize that. Yeah. That's for sleepovers with its friends. I see. Well, that's nice then. Yeah.

How grandma must be loaded. I know. That house is huge. It is a huge house. Why that house got people under the stairs walls? Why got people under the stairs walls? What's the people under the stairs wall? The walls that you could walk around inside of?

Oh. Why got them walls. Maybe that's just the desert? I don't know. Well, look, we're not going to have a basement, so we are going to have a wall space. You need some extra wall space. You need some extra wall space. So what's crawling around on the walls?

What's in the walls? What's in the walls? I don't know, Scorpion. No, it's a fast child. Oh, it's a fast child. Look, I have to tell you I stopped taking notes. No, I have like three more notes, but I don't have anything about this. I was also getting progressively drunker watching this.

It's Katie. She's now up and running top speed through the wall. Oh, yes, yes. Why? Like she has killed off the other 123 versions of herself in the multiverse. Oh boy Get ready for the episode of the one That we're about to drop on your heads

On the Patreon So So but I like this I like the you know It's fun to have people under the stairs walls With people running around inside of them I guess They're big enough for both mom and dad

To get inside and run around inside these walls as well I mean it makes for a really fun game of hide and clap I would bet Oh man hide and clap would be so fun In that game that game that we play every day while we're listening to old-timey newsy's music. You're newsy children running around. So,

I do like that they moved to Albuquerque, so giving this Egyptian demon monkey, demon monkey, demon mummy the chance to go to another place that has scorpions. Scorpions and arid, you know, you don't want to change climates too rapidly with a mummy, with a army.

You need low humidity with a mummy. Yeah, otherwise they're going to get damp. And moldy, ew. I don't know them sweat. Nobody wants that. Can't read the text then. So she eats a, scorpion that she finds on the wall. I hadn't seen them feed her anything. Maybe she had to.

I did. Well, it was like, where's she pooped? She pooping? She pooping? She should really be in a facility. Oh my God, 100%. There's a brief conversation about that. And they're just like, nah. No, no, they're not like that. Mom is like, you don't think I can mom. I'm the mom who can mom the best mom. You still haven't clipped her goddamn toenails, so. So they make her puke the scorpion back up. Yeah. And this will be, this is, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Chekhov's puke, because it will come back up. But does this, this puke, doesn't infect anyone, does it?

No, this puke just, uh, eats away at the floorboards. Right. So she could crawl through the ceiling later on the movie. I can't, Alan. I did like that when she was eating the scorpion, it was stabbing her in the face. It's like, I don't want it to be it. So the kids are going to school with dad the next morning. And who's waiting outside the gates for them?

Coyotes. Coyotes. There's Coyotes at the gates. Coyotes at the gates is a cool band name. Yeah, sure. Not too cool for us, obviously. Oh, yeah. We're not going to take it.

No. No. But the kids go to school. Seb wants answers. Dad doesn't have answers. Right. And then we get mom and grandma cleaning her up. Finally going to clip her gnarly toenails.

They're gray. They're long. they're rough. Down to get the friction on. Sorry. They're gray. They're long. They're down to get the friction on.

Can you not? We're talking about a child's feat. I have an odier that says, you know, Nuna insisted Sophia Loren was her cousin, and I don't know why I'm talking about Sophia Loren in this. Because someone told grandma in this movie

that she looked not unlike Sophia Loren while they were in town shooting a movie. And she had to work on Sifflarene. Laurence hair because she ran a hair hair salon at the time. I see. Because she's gone full like lady at the hair salon just giving you all the hot goss. Got it. Understood.

Yeah. Yeah. And while this is happening, dad is noticing the stinky puke that they didn't clean up. No, that's your next step. When your child pukes on a floor, you go get some paper towels and the spray stuff. Yeah, you get the rugable up. You put it into the washing machine.

This episode brought to you by Ruggable. Give us some fucking money. Rugables. Your dog piss on stuff? Rugables. Rugables. Your kid barf everywhere?

Rugables. See, we're good at this. Come on, rugables. I love that we're always begging companies to give us money. We could sell ads. We just don't. We're just lazy and too easily irritated.

If rugables got in touch, I would definitely say, no. Our platform will do all this for us. We just don't. We just don't. They're like, you want money? We're like, me. Why?

Because I hate ads and podcasts. I hate ads and podcasts. We do this for you, you little bastards. And you actually fund us doing this. So thank you so much for doing that. Over on the Patreon. Patreon.

Patreon.com back slash werewolf ambulance. Keep a werewolf ambulance ad free. Oh, yeah. Keep the lights on. Keep the lights on over here. Yeah. So what happens when they try to clip her toenails? This, I, okay, they clip her toe nails.

and then it pulls off the entire toenail, and then it pulls off all the skin up to her knee, like a toenail width strip of skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not how nails work. I mean, you get the thing where you get like a hangnail, and then let's just start peeling back and peeling back. I mean, no.

Okay. All right, all right. And then you like rip off a whole, like, strip of skin off your leg. Yeah. And then obviously it's itchy because you've got to get a fire poker and dig around. Please. Oh, please. What the fuck?

That's not how nails work. That's my third to last note. This is where your notes had done. Almost. Because they realize there's something written on the skin, I guess. And so he takes it to an Egyptology professor, who I thought was going to be like the Van Helsing of the movie. He's not.

He shows up here. And then he's just like, oh, actually, that's a language. And I can translate it for you. And that's it. That guy felt like the professor in like some Christian movie that would be. be convincing the kid that Christ is real. Yes, exactly. So also, mom and dad have had a fight and dad's reaction to mom calling him out on being a

shitty dad is just to lash out at her and be like, well, where were you? Why weren't you looking after our daughter? Because she was at work, bra. Being a nurse, you piece of shit. Seriously. I'm sorry, I'm kind of, I'm still keeping ahead here because I feel like we're an hour into this fucking thing. Well, just 42 minutes.

She, he takes. The Egyptology professor tells him that this is like more than 2,000 years before Jesus, this script. Right. And he's like, don't worry. I got you. I got you. What does it say? It says.

I mean, I don't know. I'm asking you genuine. Let me see. Let me see. I don't know if I wrote it down or not. I don't know if they tell us. I don't know if we learn anything from it. Yeah, we just learned that it's old writing.

and then Yeah, I didn't take a note if they did tell us No, fuck it. Why bother? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we get back to Katie and she's knocking Morris Code out with her jaw. Yes, that's a little bit unnerving. I liked that, okay?

A little bit, yeah. What is she saying in Morse code? Layla. Layla. Got me on my knees. Layla. Fuck you slow hand. I hate Eric Clapty.

to be shit. No, he threw his kid out the window, right? And he's racist as all get out. Yeah. So, he threw his kid out of the window. He did. He threw that kid out the window to revitalize his career. I'm sure of it, allegedly, please don't sue me.

Is he dead? The kid? Eric Clapton. No, that kid's dead. Is Eric Clapton dead? No. No. He still won't know if they've seen each other in heaven.

Didn't he write like an anti-Vax song with Van Morrison? What? Okay, we cannot go down this path right now. You guys can Google it yourselves. I did like the clock gave her teeth were making her teeth bleed. She was doing it so much. I thought that was a nice touch. I think all the gore effects in this movie are really, really well done. And that's the well spending of the money. Yes, exactly. So, um, we, he calls the detective and she has this whole fucking dream board about Katie up in her office at work. Yes, she does. This is like her, case her like. It's fucking ridiculous. And he's like, hey, can you look around Egypt and see if you can find a Layla? Yeah.

Just one. Yeah. One particular Layla. Although, if Katie had been friends with Layla, would he have known that she had a friend named Layla? Apparently not. Okay. Fine.

Yeah. Because I don't think they would, I mean, they would have tried to question Layla's mom, wouldn't they? I don't know. Also, how was she hanging out with Layla? Lila had done a fucking nectar eat farm out in the middle of nowhere. That's true. So he goes through a chest of cards that they've kept, and I was like, do people do this?

Oh, keep greeting cards? Yeah. No, that's a throw this away for me. Yeah. Yeah. And in the chest of cards, he finds a card from Lela. He knows, he knows to open this one because he's, she has drawn a picture of the candy that her mom was using to lure Katie,

and they find all the rappers later. This is so stupid. Yeah, anyway. So Maude goes to go pee, and she hears, You Are My Sunshine being sung by her sister. Her sister, whose voice is like a little weird baby demon. Very James Wan. Very James Wan.

Do you think I laughed when the long tongue comes out onto the door to lick that girl's little piggy's. That was so the stupidest line in the movie, amongst many stupid lines in the movie. So Evil Dead, though. Oh, that's true. Yeah, so Mommy's with the maggots now. Yeah. Are you trying to force this into the Evil Dead universe? Do you think he's like, I did the two?

I did the moon. Ugh. And then I haven't noticed that says Maud gets lifted because she's now floating in the air with Katie magic. Because Katie is now doing like a magical chanting. And she can control people's minds. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. She's a demon.

So now we're looking for Lel. Okay, go on. Mommies aren't demons. Demons aren't mummies. No. No. No. So although the mummy in the mummy, the Brandon Fasier, when he act like a demon.

I mean, they do say that this, that this mummy is the, what, Nassmarian? Nassmaranian. Oh, yeah, I have that. Later on in my notes, where did I write it down? Web search. Nazmarian, yes. No. I don't know if it's a real thing.

Okay. Everything that comes up is just Lee Kronin's the mummy, so I, DK. Okay. All right. That's a Lee Kron. Ronan. Man. Okay, go on.

So, uh, Maud is now infected with demon stuff. And also, uh, the detective in Egypt has figured out that the nectarine farm in the desert is related to Lela Kililil. Right.

Right. She, she like is able to trace it there. Yeah. Mod calls, calls her teacher and I quote, this is from the movie, not from Allen,

calls her a rat-faced cunt. Ha! Do you think I liked it? Little girls saying cunt. Always. never enough funny funny always great um and here i have the note where is lorry where is mom she has not been in this movie for 15 fucking minutes no she's just taken off for a little bit she's just got some other shit to do right now yeah yeah so the detective bursts into this nectarine farm house

she's wandering around she keeps going deeper into the house she finds a little pyramid she does and she sees the magician coming in but she shoots her yeah because she comes out of with a knife right Right, right, right, right. So she shoots her through the fucking heart. We see her get shot through the heart. Blood is jetting out of this woman's chest. Which is, yeah, that's where your blood lives. Yeah, yeah, that's your blood house.

That's your blood pump. Lick my blood pump. Oh, oh, that's, you know, I don't like it. Layla shows up. I guess she still lives with her mom. Sure. Despite having had her tongue cut out by her. I think I'd move out.

I think that would be the last draw for me. As soon as your mom crushes your bird in her fucking palm, you're like, I'm planning on leaving. Yeah. I will be leaving. As soon as I can. As soon as I can. So yes, the Layla goes and digs a box up out of the ground and this box has a VHS tape in it. Labelled Katie.

Yeah. Okay, I have some real questions about the VHS tape. So she makes this tape in order to explain to future generations, how to contain the evil should it need to be contained. 100%. I don't have a VCR right now, my dude. You made it in 2011. I didn't have a VCR in 2011.

Again, Egypt. They probably still have VCR. It does feel racist. Yeah. But also, I wanted it to have like industrial film music in the background. This is how you transfer a demon. Congratulations on your new job at Demon Trans. transferring.

Whatever. Meanwhile, back in Albuquerque. Yeah. Katie is like shedding her skin? Sure. Maude is taunting her brother from the back of the car just going, rat-faced cunt. Rat-faced cunt.

This is before she has control of Sebastian's mind, I think. Correct. And then she eventually gets that. Correct. And they decide to kill grandma. right Katie bites grandma there was a second throws her out the window like Eric Clapton's son

Jesus I'm so sorry the child that died a look it's cut the clap oh yeah Alan Ambulin's chlamydia factory sponsored by Eric Clapton there was a second

where the rosary beads are like she's going to choke out grandma with a rosary Bres. Sure. There's a second where they're going up her thigh. And it was like, if those rosary beads go inside of grandma, I'm shutting this movie off. I think that's a fair, that's a fair boundary to draw. I understand that the original Evil Dead had a tree rape in it.

So like, I'm going to shut this off of those rosary beats. That's a funny tree rape. Oh, oh. So, yeah, she throws Grandma out the window. Grandma's not dead when she hits the ground. No. Grandma. Gilt the hood of the car with the family in it,

who don't freak out and Katie, and her mom starts laughing. Yeah. Well, she's got the demon in her in her now too. So she hits the ground and what happens when she eats the ground? The coyotes roll up. They were like, we've been waiting for this fucking moment.

They eat her alive. Oh, my God. That's my favorite part of the movie. That's all I've got. It was one of the highlights. That and the toenail. Ugh. So the detective calls dad and says she has to come see him.

Yeah, she goes to Albuquerque. Right. And then we've got grandma's funeral. Right. Where Ma is like just going ape shit. She pulls out all of her own teeth and spits blood over the deviled eggs. And I was like, come on. Devil eggs are god damn delicious.

Deviled eggs are what everyone is here for. And also she's eight. She's eight. I have an eight year old. Well, she's nine now. Yeah. But she's got a lot of adult teeth. Yeah, now you can't take them all out

Can't take them all out Some of them are well rooted is what I'm saying She takes most of them out And then takes her grandma's teeth So fucking good What does she do with her grandma's teeth? And Katie has Open the puke hole in the ceiling

No one's like Shit, that's a puke hole It's literally dripping And has flies around it Clean it up you dips viewing. This is a beautiful home. This is your guests in grandma's home.

Come on. She crawls out of the ceiling, crawls along the ceiling because she has Spider-Man powers now, I guess. Because she's Reagan. Yeah. Yeah. And drops out under grandmother's casket and starts eating granny. Yeah.

I almost puked when she was licking up the embalming fluid on the floor. That was a bridge to me. far for me. And was that, is that in a good way or a bad way? Is it like at least Lee Kronin made you feel something? Even if it's nausea. Maybe. Maybe.

And then a lady pukes into a glass. I liked that actually. Which you know I don't like. I liked that so much. I was like, because as a heavy puker myself, sure. I pride myself on always hitting a receptacle except for that time outside of Godawful movie show in Detroit when I threw up on the sidewalk in front of their wives. You think about the earth is a receptacle.

No. I mean, I'm a well-aimed puker. Sure. And I thought this lady, I felt like a kindred spirit there, you know. So we cut to Katie, like, tied down to a chair maybe, but she's like bopping back and forth. Yeah. And we realize her bopping back and forth is making Seb slam his head into his bedpost. He is, because he's a stupid.

Detective shows up at the house. She's brought the tape. She tells them about Nazarian and the dad's like, I know that word. No, you don't. And then she shows them the demon transfer and now Katie's the new host. Yep. Meanwhile, Katie's got Seb in her room and is saying like creepy shit about like,

Andress your sister. Like Lee Cronin's been on too much time on Pornhub. Step sister, bro. Can't do it with a regular sister. That's gross. Listen, when your demon gets stuck in the dryer. Oh, no. But he's helping remove more of the skin words.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so we also have to watch this poor baby child get tortured and get a demon stuck inside her on the video cassette.

Yeah, it's rough. Yeah. I was like, I need to see this. I understood what happened. Yeah. So now there's a sandstorm in the house. Racist. Why?

Is it just because Dahlia, the detective, is there? And she's from Egypt? come on. Don't be like this. So grandma's up out of the casket and she's running around. I just have a note that says grandma's nasty. Yeah, she is. Because she's up on the table and like spreading your legs and saying, do you want to taste? No, grandma, get back in the casket.

She's sundowning. She's supposed to be undergrounding. Yeah, exactly. So the granny beats up the detective. And somehow she produces the scorpion out of her mouth that ends up at the detective's mouth. Yeah. Because mouthbugs are just a thing. Mouthbugs are a big problem in the desert.

Yeah. Do you know the, I once her a statistic about the amount of mouth scorpions that you treat you consume in your sleep? It's like 75 a year. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. Your stomach is full of live scorpions.

And that's what makes your poop. Seb and mom are in the walls having a like boring runaround. I already don't remember this. And mom drugs Seb and knocks him out. Right. Oh, right. She's got that like massive syringe, right? Yeah, yeah. You look at Epipen. Like, you don't bring these home from work. She did though for her kid who they got to keep sedating.

Oh, I guess she could mom her after all. Maybe they would have had those in a facility. Anyway, carry on. I like momming is just sedating. I'm out here being a good mom. Bloop. Roop. The Scorpion has shoved its tail out of,

of the detective's throat. Yes. I believe Zaki is her name. Dahlia. Dahlia? Yeah. Maybe Zaki's her last name. Maybe it is.

So she has the scorpion tail come out. So now she's like been traked basically. Yeah. So when she has to do the incantation to put the demon inside of dad. That she memorized, presumably, on what, on the plane over, on her fucking VCR that she brought with her? Maybe this was the one time that was like, he was like, you know what, I should throw a bow into Egyptians. They're actually super smart. can digitize.

So he, she has to like stick her fingers into her trache to get her vocal cords to work. Yeah, it's a little gross, pretty good, I guess. Yeah,

yeah, it was fine. But then the toxic dad skill and he comes back where he has to take the demon inside himself, Father Karis style. I like that you don't see it as like a willing sacrifice, but it's just being like, no, me,

I want demon because I'm big dad. Yeah, put it inside of something else. Get a, get a canary, perhaps. It's in anybody. Yeah. Like grab one of the coyotes and put the demon inside it.

Exactly. Why does it have? No one said it had to be a person. No. It could be like a telotubby plushy. Come on. What are we doing here? So yes.

Now he has it. Yeah. So he has it. And they put him in a coffin in the basement like you do. And I was like, okay, this is the end of the movie. It's not fucking over yet. Nope. This movie is egregiously long.

It's two hours and 15 minutes. Why? However, there are 10 minutes of credits. Oh, are there? Because at this point, I paused it, and there were 14 minutes left and was like, you have to be fucking kidding me. Yeah. So what did they go?

Don't forget that he taps, I love you in Morse code, even though he's got the demon and his semen. Also, whatever they did to Katie after she comes back from being a mummy, she looks fucked up still. Yeah, she's not right. She does not look cool. She's not right. And also, like, she can't just still be eight, you know what I mean? Like, what are we going to do? here. I'm eight forever.

It's me and Maude twins? So we cut to the magician in the hospital in Egypt. Yeah. Or in a prison. In a prison. She's in Perinia. And we see that she had a hole through her back where the bullet came back out. But I guess she's okay.

She's okay. So. Who shows up at her cell? A nurse. Who else? Who is that nurse? Larissa. It's Larissa.

And Dahlia's with her too. Yeah. They sedate. her and then they give her the demon? Yeah, they wheel in Deadpool in a wheelchair. That means nothing to you. Who's Deadpool? He's a Marvel character that's all fucked up looking.

No. No, you're immediately just shut up. Stop asking questions. I realize that it would take way too long. No, forget it. Isn't that Brian Reynolds? Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he's real fucked up looking. Did you know that he's the CEO of Mint Mobile?

Is he? Uh-huh. I hear they still charge $15 a month for your cell phone. Always will. I only know that from other ad reads we've had to do. This episode is brought to you by Mint Ruggable. So they're going to give her the demon now. And my last note is now I understand why his name is on this movie.

Because someone had to fucking take it. Because nobody else wanted to take responsibility for it. B.H. ain't doing it. Yeah, I think it's like, you know, you don't have to have your name on the movie, but he does because it's that bad. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. You want to write this bit?

Yeah, I do. Go you first. How many, how many, how many, how many, how many, who, I'm going to give it a, why would you do this to the memory of Boris Karloff? Why would you do this to the memory of Boris Karloff? I'm going to give it, we're told that the script is from 2,000 years before Jesus, so I'm going to give it a negative 2,000. Nice. Yeah. So this is like the, the dark, you.

universe reboot still. Are we still doing that stuff? Because we've had that, we've had that Wolfman movie recently. Oh my God. That Wolfman was so bad. It was so bad. And this is so bad. Why are we fucking up all the, I mean, I don't, I hate to be one of those people that's like, ruined it. Because obviously we can still go back and watch the great Wolfman and even American Werewolf in London, whatever, these great movies. But like, why are we in a world where horror movies are getting big fucking budgets and hype and press. Why are we doing such a bad job with these? And where original horror movies are getting, like, being really interesting.

Like obsession and stuff like that? Yeah. We need to do obsession at some point. Oh, I would love to. Yeah, because I, yeah. It's out. It's out on the, yeah, yeah, yeah. I watched it and fell asleep, so I need to rewatch it. I started the movie at 10 o'clock.

What was I thinking? What were you thinking? You're a 52-year-old man. 52-year-old young man. Go to bed. So yeah, this movie's trash. Fuck it. I never want to speak of it again.

Speak of what? Yes. To the person who recently sent us a voicemail about us helping them through a life change that they're going through. Yeah. We're here for you. Thanks so much. We're here for you and we love you.

I didn't know how to respond to you and I'm definitely not playing that voicemail on the podcast. That's okay. But we got it. Thank you very much. We hope that you're doing okay. We're thinking of you. Katie. Alan.

Since I picked this movie, I'm not allowed to pick the next movie. No, I came in and told Alan that he was actually banned from picking movies for a little while. So I picked next week's movie, which I'm sure is going to be a cinematic classic. I think it already is. I think it already is. Yeah. We're going to do Final Destination 2. The Deuce.

We've done one and three. In typical werewolf ambulance style. Let's slide back in. Yeah, let's slide back in there. Slide, slide, slippity slide. Oh, yes, do the dance. Fantastic voice. I'm sorry.

Slip to a real one. How come Culeo is dead and Eric Clapton is alive? Racism. Yeah. Fuck this country. I look that America got a hit on that one. Catching strays out here, USA. If anyone has a line on where I can get the Coolio holding Frankenstein

read poster that used to be in libraries. Oh. It's really great because there's like his hair's all charged out. Yeah, I bet we can find it and get it printed on a poster for you. Maybe, maybe. Yeah, hit me up. I would love to get one of those and hang it up in the werewolf family. Okay, I just found the image.

We'll just get it blown up to poster size. He does look great. It does look great. Also, he's not holding Frankenstein. It's like a levitating. He's lightning. He's lightning. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Okay. Perfect. Let's get that as a tattoo. Let's cover ourselves with tattoos of things we say and think. Every week new tattoo. Perfect. I have nothing.

else to live for. Weirwolf Alchbulance. Oh, well, in that note, if you want to join us over at Patreon, it's patreon.com, back slash wharfambulence. We've got a ton of action movies over there. We're just about to record our episode about Jet Lees the One, which has had me singing descendants all day.

Okay. I'm the one. I've been there for you all along. The sheets are dirty, and so are you. Every time that song comes on, I get mad at you. and I don't know why, because you didn't write it. We've also got a nice one made over there, which is free. You don't have to pay us to listen to Nice One Made.

It is our Line of Duty rewatch podcast. You don't really need to watch Line of Duty to listen to it, but you might want to. But as you know, I love converting people to the Church of Line of Duty. Church of Line of Duty, yeah. And Tea Public, Wearwolf Ambulance, search it on the Tea Public. You can buy gear and stuff from us. Yeah, you can get a phone case, whatever you need. You get a travel mug?

Yeah. And we get almost nothing in return. We get almost, do you have, you say in like the total number of items we've sold? It's massive. And they're like, here's $13.

Shove it up your flaps. Oh. Support your local food bank. Yes. I highly recommend doing that. Please. If you can. In this moment,

we need to be more community minded than ever. There is a go fund me for Tom Savini. His house, they recently had a house fire, lost both their cats, which was a fucking all. awful. And so much movie memorabilia.

Yeah. My, um, my cousin-in-law's brother is a city firefighter and he said that a lot of the chemicals in the basement, like exacerbated the fire. I'm sure. So, uh, people who work in the industry are as not as rich as you think they are. No, Tom Savini lives in my neighborhood. Yeah. It's not very nice. His house is that, it's not a nice name.

It's not a rich neighborhood. Right. I fucking live there, bro. So if you have a little bit of a change that you can throw around, help him out. He's giving you so much. Yeah, exactly. That was my thought for when I donated. Yeah.

So, yeah, go do that. Look out for each other. Look out for yourselves. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to your friends. And you didn't hear it from me, but if you get a chance to destroy a flock camera. Oh, yeah. Oh, I heard we're doing it on Halloween.

What's that? There's like a concerted effort to destroy a flock cameras on Halloween, like across the country. Yeah, not that we would say that you should do that. Definitely don't do that, but if you give a chance. I'm telling you absolutely not to do that. Right. If I could wink, I would. I'm blinking with all of my might.

Not the one that winks, but the one that can't. So. On that note. Thanks for listening to my lips. Bye. Bye-bye.