Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 572- Final Destination 2 (2003)

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

What happens when we are both banned from picking movies? Guess we'll find out next week. This week, however, we are discussing the absolutely inane millennial sequel, "Final Destination 2." Special topics for your consideration include: putting Tony Todd under a bushel, total shitass friends, making babies with a cop (ew), several Devon Sawas, the nature of pigeons, and the most convoluted of plot devices one could imagine. Of course we've covered 1 and 3! They are Episodes 99 and 382, respectively.  You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes, incluidng this month's entry, "The One." We are also getting into the meat of our second season of "Nice One, Mate!" which is FREE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A PATRON. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.     Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously we have the best EMTs, hands down.

Alan is tips. Alan is tips. He's drinking 7% beer. While I make a delicious corn, halumi, tomato and onion and basil salad. Ooh, yeah, you fucks with Malumi. Yeah, yeah. Who the fuck doesn't fuck with fried cheese?

Yeah, you're right about that. So good. So good. And it's called Hulumi, which is just fun. Hallumi. It's fun to say, like, clear rivers. Clear rivers. I totally fucking forgot that was poor Ali Larder's name.

in this franchise. Sweet Christ on a crutch. Okay. All right. Now I am banned from picking movies. And now we're fucked because there's only two of us. Well, and the Holy Ghost. I have...

Should we let Holy Ghost pick next week? I think we should. I think they're going to get a good one for us. I have never forgotten a movie as fast as I did Final Breastination 2. Did I watch the wrong movie? Did you watch Breastination? Breast, yeah, well, yeah, but there's, you know, you never get to the frying breasts. The breasts are endless.

Like, it finished and I went, what fuck happened in that movie? Yeah, I watched most of it last night, and then I finished it today and was already like, wait, is her dad dead? Where's her father? Is there a part of you that thinks that every movie has an intermission? Don't they? If you watch them on Tooby, they do, my dude. It's just a bunch of state farm ads.

Oh, I rented this shit. Yeah, I know you do. You're rich. I'm not rich. I'm not. Missy luckily has been buying stuff off of Amazon, so we've had discounts on rentals. Oh, you get those prime coupons or whatever. Blue Ponds.

So. Wow. This movie. Yeah. We start off with a Gialo-esque montage opening. Yes, of like a news, not even a news broadcast, like a conversation in an interview. Yeah, a dickhead and a news. A dickhead in a newsman.

A real Jesse Waters type, if you will. Sure, sure. He says to the guest, because they're talking about the events of last film. Yeah, Flight 180. Because this is the one year anniversary of last year's movie. Exactly. And why need it be? Why must it be?

You said you'd never forget. You said you never forget. They're arguing, they say things like, all the survivors died, which is not great wording, because the nature of surviving is not dying. he the the jessie waters type says to the guest you're saying we should be on guard every morning when we leave the house and it's like yes why the fuck do you think you put your seat belt on why do you look before you cross the street like why why why do you make sure that you take all the plastic off your baby belt cheese this is this is literally the thing that i have to shut the dick off that shut the dickhead off in my brain. Okay. Because if not,

I'll just be sitting in there going, why would death do that? It would just kill you. You don't just die. You just have a fucking aneurism and die. You'll just fucking die. You just have a heart attack right now and die. You'll just die because it's death

and death can do whatever it wants because it's fucking death. It doesn't have to be like, oh, but what if I had water drip down and hit this pencil, which then flipped and hit this baby in the head would have made it cry and then the cry expunges. Like, why would that have to happen? No, death need not go through these Rube Goldberg machinations, right?

Right. But then I shut that. Machinations? Machinations. Both work. I don't think that's true. I think you could do a hard or a soft C.H. Okay.

Machination? He hit me with that soft C.H. Listen, I'm getting with this lady and she's got a soft C.H. I'm just not sure if I'm into it or not. I just can't find it. It probably doesn't exist. She probably doesn't exist. Are we still doing that?

I thought we agreed with retiring that. No, I said. We retire it when I stop being amused by it, and I continue to be amused. Anyway. So during this montage, we're seeing a bunch of stuff, headlines, toys, mobiles, ladies sleeping with spiders running all over her. Yes, and why. Yeah, it never comes back up.

God, I will say the turn of the century, rough time. Rough time for horror. Sure. What year is this movie? Oh, three. Oh, three. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, rough time for having just watched the one. Rough time for cinema. Yeah. She's like, I want to show that this is cool and tough. How about if we put a doong, dong, dong, dicky,

don't docky, don't docky docky. I have this note that says she wakes up, the power goes out, she takes it in stride. She's not freaked out by this situation.

Who are we even talking about? Oh, are you talking about Kimberly Corman? Oh, yes. Because when her friend shows up and says, Hi, Mr. Corman, I was like, how, I don't even like Roger Corman and how dare you. Later we get a Val Luton reference.

We get a carpenter reference to. Sure. Yeah, Nora Carpenter. Yeah. And Tim Carpenter. The Carpenters. Yeah. But not those carpenters.

No. No. No. There's no. No. There's no bird suddenly appearing or anything. Why do birds suddenly appear whenever you're near? You are near.

Because just like me. They longed to be. Close to you. It's a fucking good song. It's a bop. I'm going to say no. Ooh. Or disagree.

Look, I'm depressed. A lot of our good ones have died this week and I feel shit. We lost the guy who did the voice of Optimus Prime today. And made all the predator clicking noises. Is that true? Yes, it is true. It is very much true. Tim Curry, though.

You know that one hurt. That hurt. Yeah, Tim Curry's been going through it though, so I'm hoping that, like, he just, he found peace at the end. That's, that's my, that's my goal. Your goal for Tim Curry. My goal for Tim Curry in the after. My goal for Tim Curry in 2026 is for him to find piece at the end.

I hope you're right. I did revisit him as, uh, darkness in legend. And there's never been a more fuckable representation of darkness. Okay. Yeah. He was so fuckable. Oh my God. Sit on that face.

Oh my God. All day long. All day long. Anything can happen on Halloween. Your sister could turn into a bat. No, she can't. Something about a bass guitar. I told you about when I was in the Kodak Museum in Rochester, New York,

and that was just playing on a loop on a television set, and I was so excited. It is truly peak 80 cinema. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God. The Grand Wizard. Remember all the girls are like, oh, he's so fucking fuckable. I want to sit on his face.

All those teen witches. Remember how everybody just wanted to sit on his face? They just wants to sit on Tim Curry's face. This is fucked up. Ripped Dolly Parton, too. Oh, that one. I think Dolly Parton ever sat on Tim Curry's face? Hold on.

I'm going to need a minute. Speaking of horny, Kimberly's friend rolls up and she's like, can we go get the guys? I'm getting horny in front of Kimberly's dad who's like, ha ha, you slum. a lot. Mr. Corman. No.

They drive, they're driving, I think they're in New York. All the license plates are New York. Yeah, I assume they were in Canada because half these actors are Canadian. Sure. And they are driving to Daytona Beach? Uh-huh. It's like a, no. 25-hour car ride.

Don't do that. Don't do that. While they drive away, he ominously looks at his driveway. And there's a puddle of transmission fluid. Oh. I was like, do you even need transmission fluid? I have never seen it, so I don't believe it's real. Do I have to, am I supposed to be doing something with it?

You should check your transmission fluid, yeah, yeah. Remember when you offered to check my oil and I said no? Yes. I think I might need you to. Okay. Okay. A minute. Thanks.

I was thinking today about the time that I bought you a headlight. Yeah, and then I just got rid of the car. But I left the headlight in it. You never changed the head. Nah. I offered to change the headlight. You were like, no. I looked it up on YouTube. I knew how to do it. Oh, man, I love you. I'm sorry, I hate myself. As you've always said, no one can ever hate me as much as I hate myself.

One of my great regrets is teaching you that phrase. It's like, really you internalized it to an oh, yeah. A sense degree. My unmarried name rhymed with beggar and my father used to say, our last name can't be choosers. Really set me up for a lifetime of disappointment. Because I think about it and like at the time, definitely hated myself. But 52 year old, Alan, I'm pretty all right with myself. I'm really happy to hear that. Yeah. They've come a long way.

Baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like a Virginia Slim over here. Oh, God, I love Virginia Slims. It's like smoking a bar straw. It's such a fun novelty. How many faux Devonsawas can you have in one movie? I, until they revealed that he died in the first movie, which I completely forgot.

I was like, wow, Devin Saw was kind of letting himself go. Which one? There's so many fake Devonsawa. Wait, which one? Which one are you? There's the firebird driving Devin Sawa. Is he the one who gets the fire scape to the eyeball? Yes.

Yeah, that's who I thought was Devon Sawa. Then there's the little kid Devonsawa who works on the farm who blows up at the barbecue at the end of the movie. Which I thought was very funny actually. Very, very, very funny. I laughed pretty hard at that. Especially because his arm lands in front of his mother. Yeah.

And then there was like a third faux Devin Sawa that's just like in the background. I was like, I think it's just that like, you slept with your hair and someone else's butt crack haircut? You know, you know. It's like the peewee, but it's like, it's like a foe hawk at the same time. Yeah, it's that fucker from anti-flag. Ugh. Yeah.

Piece of shit. Piece of shit. Anyway, weed and tits and tits and weed. That's a good thing. Weeds and tits and weeds. There are like several of my favorite things. These are a few of my favorite things. Weeds and titties and tities and weeds.

It's pretty good. Didn't somebody write that song once with things that I like? It's on the subreddit somewhere. I think it was like, I think it was Mark Clemens, but I'm not sure. Oh, I gotta find it. Yeah, I feel like there was like a cutoff where I just never got flashed by titties anymore. But there's a period in my life where like driving around, you would just occasionally see a tit. Do you think that people stop flashing?

You are just stopped flashing. I think people just stopped flashing. I think so too. Megan's law. I bet it's Megan's law. I bet it's that list. I remember a few years ago there was that hockey fan lady who flashed when like they scored a goal. And everyone lost their minds and were like, oh yeah, titties.

I forgot. We could just take them out. There's only like a few small bits of fabric separating you from tities at all times. It's incredible. But I feel like there was just a period of time where ladies were just like, yeah, I'll just dump them out and see what happens. I feel like maybe this is the girls gone wildification of the 90s and 2000s. Oh, where, like, dumping them out became like, hmm. Well, I think at this time, it was like, dumping them out was well more common.

Sure, but in the 80s, too. I mean, like, the whole, like, motley crew shows your tits, like, all that stuff. Like, why don't we show tits more? There's got to be a paper on this, right? If not, we should write one. The non-dumping of tits. I think I'm going to start dumping tits as, like, a punctuation to things. Like, I'm arguing with Vicky or something, and I'm just like,

br-dumped my tits. I wonder what she would do. I also love the phrase dump them out. Yeah. I think that's very funny. It's like throwing a Friday egg on it, but without the glass. It just makes it seem like the most pedestrian thing. I just dumped them out.

Just dumped them out. Like a bucket of chalk. They're in the car. They're driving. I'm so glad that the weed smoking kid died early because I wanted nothing to do with them. No, you didn't like him. I was like, you're just going to be the annoying fat friend, I assume. Don't body shame.

No. It was a time. It was a type in these movies at this point in time. Okay. As the fat friend, I understand that. It was poor representation. You guys need to know that Alan and I started this episode by just saying slurs at each other before we started recording.

Just to see how it would feel. I'm going to blurp. I'm going to bleep what we were saying. So we're just saying bleep to each other. Oh, don't censor my comedy. Fucking North Korea. over here. Anyway, they see a cop.

So they throw the joint out the window and it catches some dry leaves on fire on this lady's windshield. The opening to this movie, like, they fucking nutted on the opening of this movie so fucking hard that the rest of the film is the refractory period. It really is.

They were like, okay, everything is going to be set up. All we're doing is set up for this fucking insane, practical, like, just a stunt to extravaganza we're going to throw on your fucking faces. Absolutely. So yes, we get them throwing a joint out the window, lands at a woman's windshield,

who's got a bunch of dry leaves, it lights the windshield on fire. She's also smoking in the car. Yes. Is she smoking clothes, or is she just always high? I couldn't tell, I thought it was, I thought it was like a Benson and Hedges or something. Oh, she's like a business woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she looks over at the kid who threw the cigarette or the joint under her windshield and

was like, hmm, I know what you're doing. Yeah. her friends suck all three of them suck yeah they're fine you know everyone's happy they died yeah oh yeah she's i wrote here hopefully they aren't long for this world they are not they are not had you not not seen this movie before no i saw i saw the first one on the third one oh wow okay okay i figured this would have been right in your wheelhouse 2003 the final destination films were a bit of a blind spot for me i had only seen the first one and found it if i recall i think we found it fine yeah yeah for sure and then the third one i remember being very

funny. Yeah. This one is... It's an asin. It's interesting. Yeah. But it's the way it's executed. And there's also an X-Files episode where all of this is happening.

There's an X-Files episode where like some, like, death is like trying to get people. Because there's like the whole like, am I misremembering? Well, like, the X-Files guys, it was, um, Darren Morgan. Maybe that's what I'm thinking of. Your, Darren Morgan and James Wong wrote and directed the first one. The first one. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, maybe that's what I'm thinking of. I thought there was an X-Files episode that also had, like, this sort of as a premise as well. I mean, that sounds right. Yeah, but now I'm, like, I'm thinking back and all the stuff I'm remembering is from the other two films of, like, electrical cord, like, flopping around trying to get you. Yeah.

Things always have a life of their own in these movies. Yes, for sure, for sure. Except for Tony Todd, which they fucking put his light under a bushel in every one of these films. Was he in the first one? Yeah. I don't remember that at all. I also kept thinking, oh, well, he's obviously death. Of course, he's death.

He's the supernatural force in this movie. Nope. No, he's in it for all of 18 seconds, too. I also just, I'll put this little, uh, little pin in it. Yeah. Is he a magical negro? Oh, yes, 100%. Okay, all right.

He is the equivalent of the guy from the Shining. Yeah, for sure. Skatman Brothers? Yes, scatman. I could not think of his name. Um, doing cocaine while listening to music about cocaine, pretty rad. This guy sucks so hard. guy sucks so hard.

Everyone in this movie looks like a bunco someone else. They all look like CW actors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's this guy a bunk I love? Scott Wolf, a CW actor. A car drives by. There's a kid in the front seat holding two cars and making a head-on collision with them. One of them is a truck not unlike the logging truck that is...

Barreling down the highway. The highway that's inexplicably, wet. Yeah. It's sunny. I mean, whatever. There's a motorcycle

splitting lanes and just like going as fast as it can. There's a cop with no lid on his coffee, which we get a fucking close-up on. Why you not have a lid on that coffee? I mean, they're not the brightest.

There's a truck driver slugging a beer because he's driving, he's delivering beer. That was actually pretty funny too. Very good. The Coke guy is burning oil. Out of his car. his car is yeah um uh uh i'm having it says who needs coke while driving yeah no i've never

done cocaine myself but i don't think it's for you no no god no no no i'm anxious as enough as it is i'm constantly worried that my heart's going to explode anyway yeah yeah i don't think you need that i've done effigrant enough to know that i don't know cocaine but it's just like what you're just driving what are you doing buddy yeah you're just going down the highway Looks for fun times I remembered it's an addiction So yeah well So there's a chain swinging off the back of this logging truck

Right And then Our dreamer Our little dreamer who dreams a little dream Kimberly Kimberly Um Oh no not yet

Sorry not yet So the chain is swinging And then a log falls off the truck goes through the cop's windshield. Through the cop. Yeah, through the cop, and there's just a spray of blood and it was like this fucking rules.

The log gets so messy when it comes out. And I was like, yeah, I'm in. I've been on that messy, messy log. This movie fucking rules up to this point. And then there's just fucking mayhem. Yeah, the motorcycle guy gets mushed. The car flips and then a semi-truck

hits a car and there flames and everything. And the lady who caught the joint is killed. Then this family's killed. I don't know. There's explosions. All these car. are just fully made of gasoline. Our gang gets rolled and nobody is wearing a seatbelt, but our Kimberly.

Her dumb friend's head is out the sunroof, which I liked a lot. Fake Devonsawa explodes. Yeah, I wrote, this man is aflame. And then, I'm sorry, he doesn't explode. He gets set on fire and then hit by a semi. Yes, right. And then they, she, they survive. She survives, and at least her female friend does too.

And then a truck comes right at them. Yes. And then as the truck hits them, she comes too from this waking noctmare. Yeah. Saying, oh my God, I just saw a thing. And then she's predicting what's on the radio. Right. One of which she's, okay, we'll get to this.

But it's one of the things is the song Highway to Hell. Yeah. Which I don't recall hearing play in the dream scene. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. I like, there's like a moment where she like pulls her car off the road really quickly. And the stunt driver is just a very large man wearing a Kimberly wig.

Like a very large man. Give me my Kenny wig. She doesn't just pull off the highway, but she blocks the lane so no one else can get on the highway. Right. And the cop is there. Yeah. And he's like, I'm interested in you. I would like to be your lover.

Officer cheekbones. Officer cheekbones. He has a funny name, doesn't he? officer Burke oh Jonathan Cherry I don't know why I found that name oh the actor yeah Johnny Cherry John Jerry John Cherry John Jerry please John was my father call me Johnny Jerry just called me a popadetti that's me we just let that fly um honestly it didn't occur to me until later what it meant and then I was like how could this have happened I mean we already had Pearl Jam we already had limpid skin.

Pearl jam. Oh, pearl jam's come. It's pearl-colored jam. Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pearl jam. Why are you telling me this? Oh, because I want to ruin everything because I'm a bad friend.

What else you got for me? Pretty low. Rage against the machine is an answering machine. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pick up. Pocket full of shells. Rally round your family. It's just a really nice thing.

I kept all these memories for a vacation. I still think my version's better. You've got to write them a letter. I bet they would like it. Dear, Zach De La Rocha. Dear Mr. Morello. I don't want to talk to him. Why not?

He's so confrontational. Is that why? He's out there arming the homeless. What did you just say? He's out there arming the homeless. Is he? On his guitar, it said arm the homeless. How about we home the armless?

I agree with both those things. I assume it's a reference to Lucy Parsons talking about how she wanted to arm every hobo to kill millionaires. But anyway. Let's carry on. Speaking of getting confrontational, all of the drivers of the other cars get out and like get confrontational during a traffic stop. Including a pregnant lady. You don't generally do that. Like, I feel like you just wait.

Sure. But when you're a sea level Canadian actor, you're going to get out there. and bust some chops. You're going to get, like our boy, Devon Sawa, which I've written here. Hey, that's our boy, Devon Sawa. Kevin Sawa, please. Devin was my father. I have idle feet.

He had idle hands. It's a completely different thing. So then all of a sudden, Officer Burke tackles her to the ground and the car gets nailed and all her friends are dead. All her friends are dead. All her friends are dead. Got kicked in the head. All their friends are dead.

What is that song? Turbo Negro. All my friends are dead. I don't know that song. I'm a Turbonegro fan. I know you are. I know. I know.

But one of my. I don't know that. Yeah. Uh, I haven't known if that says she's a good crier because she's a very bad actor. Apparently, she went on to have a long TV career in the television show Criminal Minds. No, sure. The thing that I've watched many episodes of.

I have actually seen one episode. because a girl I was friends with in high school was in it. What? She's a victim. She gets her tongue cut out. Nice. How'd she do? She was all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the show itself did not capture you as a fan? Mandy Patinkin is in it, and I find him untenable as not a Ningo Montoya. Hey, Mandy, you got to be a Nigel Montoya on this one? No. All right, I won't be watching. Yeah, that's it. Get back to me when you are, Mr. Montaugh.

Get back to me when you want to be charming. I'll accept Joe Montania. Wait, I think Joe Montania's in it too. Okay. Wait, was he? I might genuinely be making all this up at this point. That's Fat Tony, right? From the Simpsons?

From, uh, from, uh, from a... Thina. Yeah, dinner. Okay, I'm looking it up to see if he was. Okay, yeah. Everybody's sick with us. We're taking a brief criminal minds break. Yes, he was on.

Is, is. I guess the show is still on? Of course it is. It's one of those shows that just doesn't end. Yeah. Like burn notice. He's FBI supervisory special agent David Rossi. Because he's got to be an Italian.

All right. That's all I wanted to say. But she's a good crier. She starts talking about the dream she has. And everyone's like, oh, okay, kind of dream. That's interesting, a little dream. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And then we're in the police station because everyone gets arrested for getting in not getting in an accident. Why are they detaining all the people who didn't die? They were just going about their day. Dear listener, literally this is when the movie starts falling apart. Yeah, this is it. They like really blew their load. They blew their pearl jam all over. Because that opening sequence is like this like phenomenally timed, executed, like, gory.

fun, explosions, fireworks. Like, it's got everything. That's why that's the thing people talk about from this movie. Yeah, people still get upset about driving behind logging trucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one's like, oh, man, I really, really get upset about people having discussions in loft apartments. Oh, boy. Oh, brother. So they've been arrested, detained by the cops and the guy, the motorcycle guy and a really nice looking turtleneck sweaters explaining what's going on to them. does a whole explanation of

like it being the one year anniversary and death coming for all of them. Even though we got that in the opening credits. Sure. So maybe we didn't need it in the opening credits. Just a thought. What if you weren't paying attention in the opening credits? I mean, frankly, I wasn't, but I still knew. But they're like,

not everyone died at Fum Flight 108. Clear Rivers. Why would they anyone ever do that? When they're talking to her, they're just like, hey, clear! And then I wanted to be like, Hey, what's the different strokes curse? I wrote here.

Does Alan know? Oh, it's something about like, because like Dana Plato and there's something about like people just having really bad lives from being that were associated with. But they were all child actors. Of course they had terrible lives. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that was the different strokes. Because there's also like there's the poltergeist curse.

Yeah, sure. The exorcist too, right? The exorcists as well. There's all these movies. But it was just like, I was like, that's a very odd one to pick up. up. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Dana Plato had a very hard life. She's like a murder by her boyfriend.

Ah, fuck it. Let's not get into it. No, I think she OD'd, if I remember correctly. Jesus. Yeah. I mean, yeah. But, uh, yeah, kids in Hollywood. Not a good time. That's why we need to cast exclusively little adults. Yes. As children. Yeah. I think like Elijah Wood is the, the, the, and McCauley Calkin,

or maybe the only, the good son cast is the only ones who turned out. Yeah, maybe you're right. Because one of the other Colkins is in that, too, as like the little sibling, isn't he? No, maybe not. Maybe not. Maybe I'm thinking of Home Alone. I love the Colkins. Did you see all the memes that were like, hey, you guys killed the wrong villain from Home Alone, too?

Yeah. Yeah. All right, Tim Curry. I'm so sad. Yeah. Sad about everything. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff to be joyful about.

I got a cat. You got a cat? I got a cat. Her name is sushi. She rules. I love getting pictures of her. Wow, that's all I'm doing these days is sending people pictures, unsolicited pictures of my cat. There's a solicited pussy pics.

Yes, Alan. Yes. Thank you. I have written here, Devin Sawa has one tattoo on his shoulder. It's not Devin Sawa. And it is of nothing. I think I haven't noticed. What the fuck is that tiny tattoo?

It's like this. of maybe a silver dollar and it's just a blob. Yeah. It looks like something that you should probably get a dermatologist to check out. It looks like he got a butterfly, but like it's settled. Yeah, it settled hard into those lines. Didn't fade. That's not what I'm saying.

No. It's like fell. Yeah. It's sunk. Like a souffle. It folded. It did. Really irresponsible to cook in a pan with oil and no shirt.

Sure. Also, put those fucking mozzarella sticks in the oven. What do we do? Why would you ever heat them like that? Because they're going to be burnt on the outside and frozen on the inside. You're not going to get a good crisp on those things. We learn at this point from listening to females on his emails, but his voicemails, that he won the lottery?

Yeah, we knew that one of them had and then we realized it's him. How did we know that? One of the cops this to the other cop, the other people are all goddamn so goddamn lucky goddamn motherfucker because they didn't get in a car accident. That one guy won the lottery. Oh. And then we see him coming home with like a new IMac and a bunch of packages and he's got a gold watch and a horseshoe ring. That's right.

The things you buy when you've gotten a lot of money suddenly and you're into transams. Yeah, it's true. It's true. I have a note that says reaching into a garbage disposal is absolutely fine, actually. You promised me you would not do that. also in the trailer there's a shot from the garbage disposal I view up yeah of his hand like fishing around and we don't get that in the movie no and also like there's not that much to get stuck on there really no no no no no no also the thing inside of the garbage disposal in his house looks like a blender yeah like a bunch of blades and that's not what garbage disposals are they're just like fucking like bolts and stuff to like there's a blade in there you got a blade in there there there is a bunch of I don't know. I've never put my hand in one and I would never do it again, certainly, Alan.

Also, a magnet has fallen into his leftover Chinese food that he's microwaving. Right. So that is now sparking in the microwave. I love that he's, you know, won the lottery and he's still eating his leftovers. Sure. Yeah. You'd just be ordering in flay mignon. Yeah.

I love that before he sticks his hand in the garbage disposal, the thing is sparking. barking in the microwave and he turns to and goes, huh. Yeah. I shouldn't check that out. Well, stupid. Maybe you deserve to die. Yeah. His mozzarella sticks are on the floor and they're burning and everything's burning. Yeah. I feel like my instinct of my hand got caught in the garbage disposal would be to turn on the water. Sure. Couldn't hurt. Or some dish soap maybe. Yeah, couldn't hurt. But instead he tries to put a bar of soap down there and it's like, what do you watch your tissues with Champ? What do you? Why? Oh, buddy.

You got some ivory to do your dishes with? No, don't do that. You're going to get soaps come all over your dishes. Is this an Juanis Morissette song? Is a note that I have written here. He won the lottery, got his hand stuck in his sink. It's not ironic. Don't you think?

It's not. It's like, rain. On your wedding day. Why is that irony? Why is that irony? It rains all the time. Yeah, that's just the shitty thing that happens. Yeah.

I mean she's out here hailing a taxicab with one hand in her pocket. The other one is not going to stick a rant. We're very musical today. It's because you're tipsy. He climbs out the window. He gets his hand out of the garbage disposal, gets the window, or breaks the window open, climbs out the window, gets on the fire escape. Yeah.

His apartment explodes. Don't worry about anyone else in that building, I guess. No, fuck them. No. And he has to, like, jump down on the ladder on the fire escape. Yeah. and then he's laying underneath the ladder. No, he slips on his Chinese food.

Oh, sorry, he slips on the pasta that was in the pan. He slips on his spaghetti. He slips on his spaghetti. He slips on his spaghetti. Yeah, he had spigets in the pan that he threw out the window and then... Oh, cooking spaghetti and mozzarella sticks together. It's kind of genius, actually. That's a pro move.

He did not do that. No? No, no, no. He had pasta that he threw out the window and then did not wash the pan and threw mozzarella sticks and oil in it. I see. Yeah, he's a scumbag. He's not a genius.

I know in 2020. those seem like they might be the same thing. Anyway, he slips on his spaghetti. He slips on his spaghetti. He falls on his back. Yeah. And he lands on glass, which does not seem to affect him.

No, he does like, he's like a pro wrestler. Yeah, I've seen enough backyard matches to know that you have to like put your hand on your back and go, ah!

It does not do that. Just stares up at the ladder until it falls through his fucking eye. It falls down and almost hits him in the face and he's like, and then it hits him through the eye. Yeah, yeah. Nice.

So death has a sense of humor. Death likes to tease. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, someone is doing research at this point.

I think it's Officer Burke, maybe. Maybe. And he finds a Neo-Cities website, which I wondered if that was a GeoCities. That's very funny. Did you go to devilfire.com? He, ah. Every so often, I make sure it's still there. I'm going to check.

See if our Angel Fire site is still there. You just haven't gotten a virus on your phone in a minute? I'm just going to use incognito. mode where nothing bad can happen to you. Angelfire.com. Oh, that's not how you spell that. Can you put in some internet sounds here? Do do, do, do do do do do do do pop a do do do do do do. Oh, that's not how you spell ambulance. We're wolf ambulance internet search do. I can't do it. I literally can't do it. Fingers not working to type on the little keypad on her phone. Look up.

because I'm a little sweaty. Very musical today. I like that as you're doing it, your toes are spreading far apart. Like they're helping you concentrate. I like that you're, no free feet. Stop looking at them. Wow. Okay, so I googled Angel Fire Whirl Fambulance.

Yeah. This is AI. Okay. The phrase Angel Fire Whirl Fambulence refers to a running gag from the show. In August 2015, during their episode covering the 1996 slasher scream, The hosts jokingly launched a retro companion website hosted on Angelfire, a web hosting service famous in the 1990s. They frequently plugged the URL,

whereofambulence.angelfire.com, into their early episode notes. How the fuck do they know that? Oh, because it has scrubbed all of the internet. And, uh, yeah, we're fucked. I feel upset. Remember when it said our names were Allison and Eric, though? Apparently Angel Fire.

dot com does not exist anymore. Yeah, damn, rip. Rip to a real one. We're not so paying for that. Shush. It was free? I think I had an under construction gift on it.

GF. GF. GF. Anyway, that's when I figured out it wasn't Devon Sawa. No, it is not Devin Sawa. He's dead Sawa. Because Officer Burke is doing research

into his death and into clear waters. Clear rivers, clear rivers. Clear rivers. rivers. Yeah. Oh, man. So mom comes in while young Devonsala is reading a Stephen King book. And she's like, here's some sleeping pills, my child. Yes. Before that, though, we get the businesswoman smoking on a treadmill. And I was like, that's also very funny. She rips. She rips. She's pretty fun. Yeah. And I was like, do you get sleeping pills to a child? No. No, that's not, they don't recommend it. No, he's a science dork too. So he probably sleeps like a baby anyway. You still

rub whiskey on their gums when their tea, they know, right? Um, yes, I used to have to take half a shot of whiskey when I had a cold to make me sleep. Oh, wow. Yeah, I used to call it the ugh medicine. I'm not. That's why I'm a fucking mess these days. My poor brain. My poor not yet formed brain.

Yeah. That was meeting Evan Williams, I assume, not Jack Daniels. Hmm. I think it may have been Jim Beam. Oh, okay. Yeah, J.B. I like Evan Williams, actually. Sure.

It's a quality, low cost. Oh, yeah, that's a bottom shelfer, but you're not, yeah. But it's not that bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could be worse. If you enjoy the flavor of whiskey, which I absolutely do not. It tastes like crayons. Crayons.

It tastes like crayons to me. It tastes like wax. It's gross. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. All right. Um, so, uh, we, uh, we, uh, Kimberly is laying in bed and sees the shadows of death's hands in a tree.

Is that what that was? Yeah. Okay. She's thinking about her friend and I thought, trust me, girl, you're better off without that friend. So she goes on to internet. Yeah. To MapQuest. She goes to MapQuest and she looks up where Clear Rivers is.

Yeah. And now she's driving to Clear Rivers. I thought, is your dad really just letting you drive out there alone and also you don't have a car? Where'd she get a new car from? It's her dad's car, I guess. He's like, yeah, no, no, go ahead, go ahead, drive. And I'll stay here. Everything's fine.

So she has to remove all of her harmful clothing that could kill Clear Rivers. Yes, Clear Rivers is in there voluntarily. Right, just to keep away from death getting to her. Right, living in a padded room for fun. Yeah. And death's like, I'm not going to kill you because this is a fate worse than me. And she has like a Pepe Sylvia board, you know, all the, you know, red rope. What am I trying to say here?

Strings. Yes. But how'd she cut out those newspaper clippings, huh? They brought them to her. I see. They cut them out for her. I even know that says, Clear.

That's the worst name. Yeah, imagine holding your newborn in your arms. I just can't see her. What? She's Clear. Transparent. It doesn't go well

when she meets with Clear. No, Clear accuses Kimberly of having put all these people on Death's list. If you put them on the list and they're already dead. Yeah. Well, she didn't know.

Why'd she have the dream then? Um, you're dying in the, I forgot that in the first movie, they die in the order they were on the plane. Yes, so did I. Yeah. Yeah. But this one is going backwards for some reason. Is it? I think she says that.

Okay. Because when they're talking about it, she doesn't even mention officer Burke taking that log to the face. She does not. No. Also, what's with the pigeons? Oh, I don't know. Pigeons, no, pigeons are chill. But she was like,

Pigeons. Yes, because, okay, so they're talking about how you have to look for the signs. Yeah. And one of the signs was hearing Highway to Hell on the radio is though that's not just, like, that's not ominous. That's just DVE. Yeah. I heard Van Halen's jump. Yeah, yeah.

Might as well. But, yeah, the clear has a button that opens her cell door, like the Starship Enterprise. And then Kimberly yells at her and gives her the finger through the, monitor? All right. I just refer to it as Kimmy in my notes because that's how she's first addressed. I see. But yes, she sees something and pigeons because she goes back to her house and the cops just waiting like, oh, I thought you with my girlfriend now.

Yeah, well, he seems to be very sure that they're together and I don't know why. I think she's a teenager. I think so. Okay. Well, no, I think she's a college student because they're going on spring break. Teenagers go on spring break. Teenagers go on spring break? You got a spring break anyway.

Yeah, but you don't go on spring break. You're not going to be like, go do wet t-shirt contest and what have you. Whatever happened in Lake Havasu this year. I don't know what you mean by any of this. I remember MTV's spring break. Okay, all right. All right, Eric Neese. Kid Rock playing don't dick a donga, don't doong, doonga dickie-don.

So Tim, the Y'I'm. young Devon Siwa, Sawa, goes to the dentist. He makes a sexual assault joke from a child as the dentist. I don't think sexual assault jokes from children at the dentist particularly land well. Well, when you're dating your mom, she's also cool with it. When your mom's stroking, you're dingling. That's not right.

It's not okay. Did you say surfing? Stroking. Okay. Mom's hanging to end, baby. Good on you, Tim, for having tend to hang. Yeah. Maybe mom has tiny feet.

baby feet on mom I know I say it all the time but when people tune in they do not expect what's going to happen I feel like we're going downhill you know but it's just it keeps getting worse and worse like a snowball so there's a fish tank

and it springs a leak yeah and it's pissing all over this outlet yes meanwhile the dentist is very bad at this job he says to him does your mom know you've been smoking and I thought do they know can they tell sure oh yeah yeah your breath smells like smoke well not that moment

b you get yellow teeth from smoking yeah yeah and then a pigeon hits the window you're still holding up fingers at me does there more probably okay pigeon hits the window and the the dentist reaction has got motherfucker he goes how do they expect me to well they don't they're pigeons they don't expect you to do anything I assume you was speaking of the buildings management oh I like the idea that these pigeons are just like ha ha ha ha. They've been extorting me for months. So he's putting down the laughing gas.

Have you ever had laughing gas? Yeah. Only for dental work. Awesome. I love it. I tried it while I was in labor and it did not help. No. It was too intense.

But at the dentist, I have enjoyed some laughing gas. I remember getting it and then my dentist trying to put his hand on my mouth and me going I remember getting it saying to the assistant you are so funny and then the next thing I knew I was awake and vomiting So the dentist is drilling him Drilling him real good

And the dentist is like Oh I've got to go do a thing And leaves just leaves the drill bit in his mouth Because there's like a commotion from the waiting room Oh right because more pigeons have gone through the windows And when the dentist leaves, he doesn't notice that there's sparks on the floor. Sure. Yeah.

How could you? And he's like, how many times when he sees the pigeons getting in the high? Because that's insane. Pigeons don't generally do that. Also, like, the mom is trying to pick up the pigeon, but she keeps pulling her hands apart. It's like, use your fucking hands, mom. I don't know how. My hands don't work.

Meanwhile, Kimmy and the cop have called the family and the cleaning lady's been like, oh, they're at this dentist office. Go to this dentist office. It is at this address. Yes. So they're heading down there. So he's got his mouth propped open, which reminded me of the film The Dentist with Corvin Burnson, which somehow I thought was a comedy and was decidedly not. One of the many mistakes I've made on the show. One of two.

Wait, what's the other one? I don't know yet. I'll figure it out. Just hanging over me like that. The mistake of Damocles. So they get out of the, the power goes out before mom gets electrocuted. They go outside. Wait, a pufferfish from the mobile falls into his mouth.

Yes. But he doesn't die because the assistant comes in and takes it out of his mouth. Right. He tries to shoe the pigeons on the street. Right, because they come outside and they're like, ha, ha, what a fun time at that dentist. And Kimmy is there and she's just screaming, oh no, the pigeons. The pigeons!

So he's like, pigeons, yay! And shoes them away, which shoes them into... He's about 16 years old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shoes them into a working person who is operating a piece of machinery that's holding a flat piece of thousands of pounds of glass. Well above the sidewalk. Well above the sidewalk. Just flat and well above the sidewalk.

And that's all it needs to be. As you transport glass around. And it falls. And it smooches that kid. It straight mushes him. And honestly, it's great. Know what I have here? So dumb.

I kind of love it. Loved it. Strong reminder to just leave pigeons the fuck alone. We're going to go have this meeting. And the cop says here, we're going to have the meeting. She's not going to leave her son, though. No. She's at that meeting.

Why would she do it? Why would she leave her son? Why would she leave her son? But also, she is at the meeting. Yeah, she is at the meeting. Also, at this point, the, um, Kimmy character says to the cop, I'm so scared in that exact voice. She's very good at act.

Very good actor. Guess who else shows up at this meeting? Who else is at the meeting? Clear Rivers. Clear Rivers. Who just got out of a psychiatric institute and looks better than I've ever looked in my whole life? Who's that played by Allie Larder? God, she's beautiful.

Yeah. What else she done? I feel like I know her from a lot. varsity blues. Marcity Blues. Was she in Heroes? I don't know. That show that Hayden Panetteer was in? No, I don't know.

Okay. That's not the thing I would know. Okay. All right. All right. Was she the girlfriend in the crank movies? Oh, maybe. No.

Maybe. But I was also thinking was she in Friday Night Lights, but I don't think she was in Friday Nighter at Lights. No, she would have. I'm thinking of Barcity Blues. Yeah. Yeah. They're the same thing, aren't they?

I think so. Yeah. Football. Football. and people. She was on heroes. Okay, okay. You like movies that are football and people-based?

Yeah. Who has more fun? Never mind. Just cut this. Thank you. Oh, she was in House on Haunted Hill. Oh, the Owen Wilson one. The one with Fomka Jansen.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We quite enjoyed that with our friend Ross, if I recall. We did. Yeah. Hey, Ross. Hope you're still listening.

Yeah. You liked a skeet? I think they called them on blue ski that I made the other day. I saw Ross on there. Good to see Ross. On the skeet. I see Ross now and then. Ross liked my skeet.

Good. He liked your pearl jam. Anyway, this isn't the meeting, though. This is Clear Rivers taking them to meet Tony Todd. Yeah. So that's right. That's right. Okay.

And I also just recently watched his X-Files episode where he's a Vietnam vet who hasn't slept in years because of the government. government experiments. Yeah, he had those like penial gland or something? Yeah. Yeah.

Preacher. He's so good. He's so good. Love Tony Todd. Tony Todd. I mean, if you haven't, do yourself a favor and watch the Tom Savini directed remake of

Night of Living Dead. Tony Todd is so fucking good. And Candy Man. I like Candy Man. Yeah. Yeah. Candy Man. It looks like they're going to visit Candy Man in this.

Why would a mortuary have this much dried ice in it and red lighting? Why would it be in the basement of Church? Yeah. Okay. And why would he just talk like these? He's like a Dracula.

He's a Dracula. Dead yet still fresh. Tony Todd says that. He's such a freak. He'll probably know that we're coming. Clear. I'd expect the jewel to be here. Van to take out your nipple ring.

You know who else had nipple rings in 2003? You. Yeah, I did a lot of flashing back then, actually, because I had nipple rings. and when you have nipple rings are contractually obligated to dump them out. I've seen every one of my friends dick piercings at some point or other. That's a bridge too far. Your little tink at your window.

Yeah. Why so much dry ice? Why so much dry ice, Tony Todd? And so he's magical because he knows that they're coming and he tells them all the stuff about death because he's very familiar with death. Only new life can defeat death. Yes, what does that mean? She means that Kimberly better get knocked up.

Exactly. This was my understanding. And the cop was like, well, Raw dog Ricky. He says to, Tony Todd says to her, you have to follow the signs, Kimberly. And she says, how do you know my name? And then the scene cuts.

The scene cuts. And then I was watching it on Tooby, it went to an ad. This is what I'm talking about putting Tony Todd under a bushel. We do not get to see a full Tony Todd. We let Tony Todd be Tony Todd. Yeah. And the nipple ring ripping out. isn't even that like shocking.

No, it's meant to be. Yeah. You're meant to be like, ow. My nipple. You know what having old nipple piercings does, though? I got old nipples. When you breastfeed, it causes, mine were still open, I guess, and it like would spray my kid in the face.

Poor Lucy. She was like drinking from a fire hose. Come back. Come back to me. Who smokes at the gas pump? I can't wait until Lucy's old enough to listen to this. Shit. I hope I'm dead.

I don't. I want you to live forever. I'm trying to get you vip by a vampire. No, Tony Todd. I keep throwing new life at you. I'm not getting pregnant again. Too old. No, no.

Neither one of us. No. I don't know who smokes at a, uh, uh, uh, Gas pump. Gas pump, but it's probably the same people

that leave their car on with their music playing at maximum volume. Yeah, you don't want to do that. The guy who is smoking at the gas pump is wearing a no fear t-shirt, though, and I so wish those would come back. Oh, yeah.

What about an... I was a lot skeered. Ain't skeered? Did you... Maybe I grew up much closer with the Mason Dixon line than you did, but I definitely remember ain't skeert.

What about Big Dog? Remember Big Dog? Sure, Big Dog, and a co-ed naked, X, yeah. What about those white baseball caps that just said, Cox? and things like that.

Yeah, wasn't that for an actual university? Yeah, that's the joke. That's the joke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. What about those fake Volkswagen ad bumper cigarettes that said like far from pukin? Oh, yeah. That's funny. You guys remember 30 years ago? What a time.

No wonder we're nostalgic. Everything sucks. How many little trees air fresheners does one need in a premise? definition. Who can say? Yeah. Yes. So there's chaos of this gas station.

Cheos. It's pronounced chaos. Cheos A.D. There's just, there's a lady walking dogs. Most chaotic thing I could think. There's all kinds of, it's a Rube Goldberg device and all kinds of weird things are happening. So she's looking for the signs like Tony Todd told her.

But don't worry. None of it pays off. No. She has a vision at the gas station now. Yeah. Where she sees her hand. driving into a lake. She doesn't know they're her hands.

Oh, I thought she always knew that they were... No, because it's not until they're bloody later, and she does the Lady Macbeth bit. Okay, all right, all right. So she thinks, so they remember that there was a pregnant woman in a delivery van. Correct. Who, if she gives birth to her...

The baby would have... When does life begin? Alan? I think it's like 13. Okay. Before that, you can just... Put him in a rocket, send him to the sun. Nobody gives a shit.

Bored all day long. They tell her, someone has a line in this movie that is, we have to warn her about the lake so she can stay alive long enough to have the baby. That's bad shit. It's bad shit writing. It's not good. It's not good.

It's first past nonsense. Yeah. I was struggling to pay attention to the film at this point. Yeah. So the gang gets back together. They all meet up at someone's house. I have no idea. I think it's Burke's place.

Which one is Burke? The cop. Okay. Because he has all of the hobbies, like, that involves sharp and heavy items. Including a ceiling tiyak. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

All right. All right. The woman who was not going to leave her dead son's side is there. Is there. And she says, does anybody have a valium? And the business lady does, because she wears a suit. She has a job. She has a valium.

Yeah. When you're out there, buy, sell, buy, sell, give me a value. It's a very literal job. I do carry ad van in my work bag. Am I that lady? Point proven. Should I start smoking Benson and Hedges?

My career is at a peak and I finally met a quality guy and I just bought a house. Quality guy? Quality guy. I think that's funny. That's good writing. I feel like I could definitely find quality guy on R slash girl dinner diaries. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

the cop and Kimberly, who are now together, a loving couple. I guess, yes, they're married. Are issuing these people's cell phones? Okay. I'm glad you caught that. I did not. Not that it matters. Yeah.

I just haven't noticed that the gang's back together. The gang splits up. They immediately, like, shoot off, like, fucking marbles to go solve different situations. Right. Right. They do. Also, for some reason, um, I, On 2B, every time someone said ass, they captioned it as arse?

Yes. They did that on Amazon too. Really? I wonder why. I guess British captions? They were like, good enough. You guys watched enough of these dramas. Let's just do this so you understand what's happening.

Meanwhile, the cop has put out an APB for the woman in the delivery van. Yeah, which is gross misuse of police. He gets her locked up. Yeah. And she's of course a brown person. Yeah. By saying that the van was stolen. It's so mean.

It sucks. It's really mean. Yeah. It's like cops using flock cameras to see where their girlfriends are going. Yeah, fuck them. It's fucking terrible. Like, this movie does not have any likable characters in it. No, I care for no one.

No. I liked the business lady and I almost didn't mind the Coke guy. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know they're just canon fodder, but. So who is it that leaves? It's business lady and...

Mom, mom of dead son, and who is with her? Is it clear rivers? Oh, no, Eugene. You're right, you're right. Guy with a good turtle neck in the earlier scene. And they've been a man with a bunch of hooks? Right, because Koki is in the closet and a bunch of stuff falls on him and then over the light he sees what looks like the shadow of a man with a bunch of hooks for hands. Yeah, I guess so.

And he's like hook hands, hook hands. I've looked for it and I found hook hands. I have written here, I actually just don't see it. I don't know, no. No. It looks like a marionette at best. Yeah, it's not anything. And it's also like, I don't know if you've had any cokey friends in your life.

Yeah. But you never go to them to like follow a lead. No, no, they're not reliable. But so they get into the elevator and there's a man holding a bunch of prosthetic hands. Yeah. And then one of the prosthetics gets caught in mom's hair. One of the hook hands has a mind of its own and it grabs her braid and all. Sure.

It's got death's mind. Death's mind. Death is doing it. It pulls her head. It pulls her basically like through the elevator door, which we have previously established. The bumpers don't work. I never called anybody by their names except every once while.

Like I'll have a note that says Burke calls Nora. And I now have no idea who's doing what. I think Burke is the cop. As you said. Burke is the cop. I know that. And I think Nora is the business lady. Because why, who else would have a cell phone?

No. Because they all just got issued cell phone. Oh, that's right. I think the business lady is cat. Okay. So is Nora a mom? She must be. Yes, because they call her on her phone and she's like, who is this?

It's like they literally just gave you that phone. Her son just passed away. Yeah. I have written here. Of course Eugene goes for the gun, racists. Well, that's after, so mom's hair gets hooked by the hook. And it pulls her head back into the elevator, which we know from an earlier scene, the elevator has a mind of its own.

It's bumper stone. work. Right. So the elevator closes on her head. She can't get her head out and then the elevator starts rising. So they're pulling on her body to try and get her head out, which then makes her pop like a dandelion in your front yard when you're a little kid. It's fine.

Yeah. It's nice. It's a fun who doesn't love a decapitation? Right. And so, yes, Eugene runs into the apartment, takes the cop's gun and he's going to shoot himself in the head. Right. But he pulls the trigger six times and none of the gun, the bullets fire.

Because it's not his turn. And the cop's like, that's inconceivable. There's no way that could happen. And so it's not his turn to die, is why it didn't work. So we get the pregnant lady in the holding cell at the police station. Right. And her water breaks, probably from the stress of being accused of a crime she didn't commit and being put in jail until Monday morning.

Sure. Yeah. Sure. So the cop that's there is like, I don't know what to do. And she's like, you're going to take me to the fucking hospital. I'm not going to have the fucking baby in here. No. And for once in policing's history, the copeless is to her. Yeah.

And he starts taking her. in a van to the hospital. In her van. Because he doesn't have a squad car? Yes. Yeah. So they share a near death experience. And then he says something about Val Luton.

Someone is named Val Luton. And then he calls for all cars to, they see a wreck. The wreck is our people. Oh, is that when they call? Because they're in the car. This is where things really go to. shit because it turns out that they were all somehow affected by the first by flight 180

yes like that one of them was on the bus that hit the girl at the end who we see her mangled ass corpse in this yes we never saw that no one needs that and yeah yeah cokey was in Paris at the time tripping on acid and sipping lattes and stuff like you do so someone in this scene says that's why death is working backwards. It's tying up all the loose ends, sealing the rift once and for all. The fuck does that mean? Death. Death has a plan. And if you mess with the plan, death is like, no, I can't go on with the rest of my day. You know how sometimes something really bad will happen and religious people will say God has a plan? Sure. I think I'm going to start saying death has a plan. Yeah.

But then you're like, what's your plan, death? Is it just to get Dolly Barton off the planet? Well, because it's so shitty. She doesn't deserve to be here anymore. I mean, she shouldn't have to suffer this. She shouldn't have to suffer this. Yeah. God, I fucking wept like a baby listening to a new story about a person who got a bunch of books from her as a child. Yeah, the imagination library is such a wonderful program.

I hope it keeps going. I went to make a donation to it when I first heard of her death because Lucy loved it so much. And the last book you get on your fifth birthday month is kindergarten, here I come, which as a parent will just make you weep. like a fucking baby. And the site was down. The site was down from too much traffic. So that's good.

Well, that's good. That means a lot of people where they're donating. Yeah, that's awesome. Another car accident. They don't die. They do not die. And the pregnant woman does not go into a lake. She does not go into a lake.

And Eugene is like having a heart attack or something. He's hurt. He's got, I think one of the pipes might have gone through his chest. Okay. Because there's a pipe that almost goes through business ladies' head. Yes. which will never come back up. And it does come back up.

Oh, that's what happened. I couldn't figure out. It's in the seat, the headrests behind her. I couldn't figure out what it was. Right. Got it. But she's trapped in the car

because a log has also gone through the driver's side door and pinned her like. It doesn't make any sense. Just open the door. Open the door. It's all right there. It's right there. You open the door and then you get out.

Joel's death. When the other cop calls in this accident, it's at the mile marker 180. Oh no. Yeah. That's our mile. mile marker. Yeah.

Anyway, the news shows up and now they're leaking oil. Yeah. Or gas. Yeah. I think it's gas. Because it's going in the pipes, Rube Goldberg style to get to the thing to do the thing. You're right.

The airbag. Okay. Oh, fuck. I can't even. This is where everybody dies, which is fun. Everybody's died. Yes. But before he dies,

Koki McCook Tits, it's like, hey, will you go to my house and throw out all my poor nose so my mom doesn't have to find that. Blast my cash. Yeah. and the eternal words of the macaroys.

Okay. There's a kid who works on this farm where the crash has happened who's trying to help. Young Devonsawa. Youngest. Another young Devonsawa. No, he lives. Oh, there's the emergency crews come and they start like cutting into the door to of the car to get her out. Yes.

And she says, can you do that a little quieter? And he says, yes, I'll put it on silent mode. She says, thank you. Yeah, and then he hits it again. And then somehow it sets off the airbag, which shoves her head backwards into the pipe. See, that was where my intermission was, so I forgot that that pipe was there. Yes. And then the pipe goes directly through her forehead, and she is now dead.

Yeah. And she's smoking a clove at this point, which she then drops, and it rolls and catches a tree and a fence, a flame. And the fence goes through the air. And the fence has barbed wire on it, and it hits the koki guy. And it does not bisect him. It tries to try. It intersects him. Yes.

I believe the gasoline makes the news van explode. That's what makes the fence. Got it. I throw the fence. Yes. I had to rewind it. It was like, oh, that happened.

Yeah. It's trisected. He's trisected. He had also saved another young Devon Sawwell from getting hit by the news van that was pulling it. He did. Yes. Or the immerse. Bum,

bum, bum. So, I haven't know this says death is getting sloppy, killing Eugene. I think that's when he's in the hospital. Right. Yes. He is now in the hospital. hospital.

Right. And Kimmy has another premonition where she says a nurse named Collargeon is going to kill Isabella, who's the pregnant lady. When we meet this person, they're a doctor. And I thought, you just assume she was a nurse because she's a woman, you fucking misogynist brat. It turns out the woman was a doctor. Yeah.

Yeah. But Isabella has a baby. It's a whole big ass baby. And while Isabella is having the baby, Eugene's airspace. supply is getting cut off. Why? Because death. So death's way of doing that is by slowly moving a cart so it winds around some plugs to pull them out of the wall. People die everywhere across the world every day. This is our problem with the movie The One. People are constantly be dying. People be constantly

dying. Hmm. So the baby's born and the teen and the cop are happy and clear is happy. But then they realize Isabel wasn't supposed to die in the pie. aisle up, but I don't know how they know that. And Kimberly has a a premonition about bloody hands. Yes. Yeah. So Eugene's air goes on to battery supply or battery mode. So he's getting air again. So they're like, everyone's safe. Everyone's fine.

And then Clear opens the door to Eugene's room. Trips over a wire? Trips over a wire, which causes a spark. It's now an oxygen-rich environment. Yeah. It causes a massive explosion. killing clear instantly and Eugene. We see her burned a lot. Yeah.

And now... Don't worry the cop and the teen are fine and they're still in love. Except she now has bloody hands. Right. Right. Bloody hands. And she tells the cop to go get Dr. Kalarjian. She has this, all this, like, this premonition of, like, putting everything together.

She's like, Dr. Kalarjian, and she sees, like, a headline about New Life and a lake and the van and the flashbacks of the movie and I don't understand what she is putting together at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the movie's like, I know you have not been paying attention. Yeah. So we're going to try and do this thing. And I know you're actually not paying attention to what I'm doing right now. I am paying attention movie and I still don't know how she knows what she's supposed to do.

Like if I got all those things, I've been like, A, I think I'm having a stroke. Yeah. B, I don't know what any of this means. No. C, can I have a Snickers? Yeah. I think my blood tricker might be low. Yeah, I think I might be having an episode.

She says, I know what I have to do to save us. I have to die. And he's like, no. No, I love you so much. No, baby, no. No, baby, I love you. I'm such a predator. Ever since that day, you had a vision.

And I was like, you're cute. And then I tackled you on the ground and your friends all died. I think my peeper fell inside you that day. And now you have pregnant with new life. You have pregnant. How? Pemus. So she drives a car into a lake.

Did you say Pemus? Yeah. Great. Thank you. I know how much you enjoy it. I do. Holy shit. How are you an hour and seven minutes?

We have to. It's almost over. It's almost over. So she drives the car into the lake. Yeah. She drives an ambulance into a lake, which is not a van. And it has all the little trees in it. And I thought, does it just fucking stink in that ambulance?

Dude. Sick people? The worst. Ugh. So she drives the van or vanbulance. Vandbulance. Vance. Yeah.

The cop dives in after He does not dive. He belly flops. It's so fucking funny. Also, you don't just die driving a van into a lake. You can't, it's very,

I think it's very hard to drown yourself. It's also really hard to open a car door once you're in, underwater. No, that's why you gave me that window breaker.

Thank you. Thank you. But he saves her. And then Dr. Colargeon is there with a crash card at the lake to save her, I guess.

The lake is right at the hospital. The hospital is at the lake. They're one of the same. Hospital, Hospital Lake. She gets saved. They're now... She's back from the dead. Yeah, we're flash forwarding in time.

Why did this cheat death? Dr. Colargeon cheated death. I don't understand. I know. Okay. It's so weird that this stupid premise is somehow stupider in this movie than the other two movies we saw this. Yeah.

I feel like they pulled it together for the third one. Yeah. So they're now at a barbecue with the farm family. Who is Mrs. Gibbons? The mother of young, young, Devin Sawa. But she looks just like decapitated mom. Well, I mean, all moms look the same.

Am I right? Yeah, dude. So the barbecue's going, and Brian's like, oh, let me go check on that barbecue. That's young Devin Sawa, you and me. And he runs over there at the barbecue exploit. He's like, someone says, oh, I mean, he never.

told you this but your friend saved him from getting hit by the news van and Kimberly and her cop boyfrienders What? Whoa, what? You're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to help people. I guess this is the moral of this movie. If you save someone from dying, they will then be exploded by a barbecue and their arm will land in front of their mom. Shit. Do not help anyone because you're interfering with death,

aka God's plan. Hey, hey, death has a plan. Oh, fuck. In hell. His arm lands on his mother's plate cut to the credits. Rate this bitch for me. This is a solid three. I think it's a two. I think it's a three.

Yeah. I think it's a three too. Kick it at me. I kicked at you. I'm getting high kicks. It's a three. Yeah, I mean, it's not the worst thing we've seen. There's some very funny parts and I love the deaths.

I'll watch this over Lee Cronin's the Murmie. Oh, four, sure. This has at least some amount of heart. Those deaths were done. lovingly. You don't just drop a paint of glass onto a teenager and get them mush into the ground and not have some heart behind it. I saw somebody out of discord was like, in Lee Cronin's defense, he didn't want to call it

Lee Cronin's a movie either. And I was like, okay, they made him do it because it's so shitty. But he could have called it anything else. He could have called it the Egyptian scares. You know, it didn't have to be called the mummy. He could have called it the Egyptian magician after that great jerky boys bit. Oh, yeah, the Egyptian magician. Holy ghost.

Katie, Alan. Can I take you to a little place that we like to visit every once in a while? What's it called? Mailbag. Yeah, dude. Make it snappy, though. This is the episode's going long.

I'm going to snap the whole time, right in the microphone. People love that. Hello, Katie and Katie's friend, Alan. So, fun new things in my life. Surprise divorce. Oh, sorry, baby. I hear you. Not going to lie.

Hasn't been super fun. No, it's not. But knowing the both of our beloved Mr. Amulance and Ms. werewolf have been through our growing through the same makes it a little more bearable. Oof. Is that good? Sure.

I mean, we're out of role models. I shouldn't be. I mean, if it can happen to you too. If it can happen to you two, it can happen to anyone. So thanks for everything you do, the laughs, the silliness, but also the sense of feeling normal, the sense of feeling normal and not like some sad sack old man who also frequently gets told he looks like Santa. Got it the other day and I was like, come on, guy.

No, no fat-bearded man wants to hear it. It's not kind. With all love, your friend in Ty West, Russell. Oh, Russell, we got you, boo. I'm sorry, this is happening. Sorry, you're going through it, but, you know. You are a whole person in and of yourself, and you will come out through the other side of this,

a whole person in and of yourself. If I can impart the best thing that I did when going through this in my own life. Binge drinking. Did that for a long time? I finally saw a picture of myself and my face was literally gray and I was like dog you gotta stop doing this.

So I did that. I only give bad advice. Alan only gives good advice. And then I was like the only way I'm gonna make it through this is if I start saying yes to things. Yeah. So I said yes to everything anyone asked me to do.

You are not the only person to have given me that advice actually. Yeah. Say yes to things. Go do stuff. Yeah, go do stuff. Yeah, go do stuff. Fuck it. Yeah, go have fucking fun.

Go look silly. You deserve it. Yeah. Let's be girls. Let's go be. girls. And on that note, let's go be girls and do another movie next week. What should we do? We should do a movie of our choosing, since neither of us were allowed to choose a movie we both had to do it. We had to do it jointly. We're going to do a movie that was recently in theaters. We're going to do

a movie. Oh my God. I forgot what we were doing. I was like, no, dude, this is years old. We're going to do a movie that apparently a lot of dudes aren't understanding who's the bad guy in it. No. We're doing obsession. We're doing obsession. Men are such bozos. Fucking dildos. Dommies. Useless fucking meet sex with dicks on them. Yeah, but what are you going to do?

We need them, right? Yeah, you know. Can we wrap this up? I'd love to. You know what else I'd love? What? People went to T. Public and searched for wearable ambulants and picked up a couple T-shirts and maybe a phone case.

Or go over to patreon.com backslash wharfambulence and throw us a couple bucks and listen to our action movies and nice one meet. We just released an episode about The One, the Jet Leave film. I think you're going to find it. If you want to hear someone sing a descendant song at you, I highly recommend picking up this episode because that song was stuck in my head for a week after I edited it. I was well until you said the one when we were recording this episode and now it's stuck in my head again.

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So go do that. Go to Patreon. Go to Tea Public. Support your local food bank.

Yes. I'm not saying you should do this, but I did read a thing. or see a video earlier that the best way to cut down a flock camera is with a battery powered handheld circular saw. They go through the aluminum piping on a, that holds up a flock camera really well. And not that we should all do this on Halloween night. Yeah. I would never do that on Halloween across the country.

No, we love being surveilled. Everyone loves it. That's why I'm always taking my tits out. That's why we voted for it. Yeah. That's why when our government was like, hey, do you want this? We all said, yeah. Yeah, fuck yeah.

Absolutely. It's more of fresh. We're dumping the tits. to dump them out for you. On that note. Go dump them out. Yeah. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearwell Fambulance.

Clear. Empty? Rivers. We should start clapping at the end of the episode, too. Two, three, one. Two, three, one.