Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 575- C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. (1989)

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

In this week's episode, we're going down a very silly path with the 1989 comedy/horror film "C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D." Honestly it's hard to believe it's real. Special topics for your consideration include: a shocking comparison to a film we reference too regularly, being a professional hater, weird swimwear, exercise motivation, and sassy children. Hey we did these movies in order! We covered the original in Episode 253. You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to a ton of action movie episodes. We'll have a poll up soon to choose a new action movie in the James Bonds series. That's his name, right? We are also getting into the meat of our second season of "Nice One, Mate!" which is FREE EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A PATRON.   leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at [e-mail] we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever. If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously we have the best EMTs, hands down.

Bud the Chud. Bud the Chud. What is it? Eat them up. Eat them up. Yum, yum, yum. That was how I was going to start this episode, actually. And then I panicked because I didn't have my notes in front of me.

And I could not remember the line, even though I just finished watching this movie. I got to ask you a question. Ask it. Oh, you probably haven't had time to do it yet, but I'll ask you anyway. Yeah. Have you changed your ringtone to Katie? Yum, yum. Tell me I won't.

My phone has been on silent for a decade. So, you know. Katie, yum, yum. Only when you call, which I think you called me once in our whole friendship. I doubt my mom's going to die again. Yeah, I hope not. That first time was bad enough.

Who he called me. His mom died. Oh, this movie opens with something eating the title and going, and I liked that quite a bit. Unfortunately, it's down home from there. I haven't know if it says titles get eight, letting you know you're in for a chomper of a movie. It is a chomper of a movie.

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. We come in, media res. The story is already in action. You know what's a great way to start your movie is a really, really long walk into an elevator, and then riding the elevator, and then a really, really long walk down a hall, a long haul. We've got a doctor.

He's carrying a tray with a single hypodermic needle it is already filled with highlighter. Yeah. He's making faces at everything. Yeah, yeah. They were just like, we're going to have you take this really long walk. And he was like, okay, what do I do during that time?

And they were like, figure it out, buddy. Listen, when the guy who wrote Honey, I shrunk the kid sat down to write this movie. Are you kidding me? I am not kidding you. This felt very return of the living dead to me. 100%. It was supposed to be a sequel to return of the living dead.

Oh, was it really? That got switched into being a Chud movie. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, Honda P. I also want to say that this is very similar to a film that came out the following year that you tease me all the time about. What's movies that? In Zeno Man. How?

Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, they like find a caveman and thaw him out and try to like make him a friend. And then Stephen is the Polly Shore character. Sure. And then like, will he get the other guy get the girl at the end? Yes, he does. Give me three guys. guesses as to what Stephen did later on in his career.

I don't know, but he looks a bit like our friend Stephen in the face. And I just want to say that. The actor Brian Robbins. Brian Robbins. Okay. Let me guess. Pro wrestling. No.

Tumbling. Tumbling? You know, like tumbling. Like an acrobat. That a profession? I guess so. People are acrobat. Don't alienate our acrobat audience.

So you're saying it's not that? All my bats's out there. Get in touch. Let me know what it is. Okay, not that. There's a third. What's your third? My third guess.

I'm chef at a Tex-Bex restaurant. Funny that you didn't pick head of Paramount pictures. What? Wow. All that shit right now, though. There's the, yeah, he's no longer the head. It's now all like the Nazi family doing Nazi shit.

Yeah, I was going to say the Ellisons? Is the Ellisons? I don't even fucking know. The ones who are buying all the media so that Trump can have good coverage. He'll be dead soon. I just bought another bottle of champagne because I drank my when it happens, Champagne when Lindsay Graham died because I felt like that was close enough. And so then I replaced it.

And then I really believed that Mitch McConnell was dead, so I drank it again. Come on. Let your girl live. So then I had to buy another one. I just got it this week. So I'm thinking. I am 100% sure that there is not even all of it, but like part of one of the animatronics from a Charles entertainment cheese is inside that man's body.

You just keep singing the happy birthday song. People ask him how he's doing it. It'll just throw up a piece of a lot. and be like, been dead for weeks. Fucking weekend. I know everyone says weekend at Bernies, but it is one of my favorite films of all time. I'm going to say Bud the Chud.

I'm going to say they threw him in a bathtub. You know when you cool yourself off of the air dryer? Anyway, so this. I was just sweating. Let me get that. I mean, they do have cool air settings, but that one definitely didn't. The doctor, so we'll call him a doctor.

He's a man of a lap coat. Yeah. And the whole time he's walking, there are an airplane amount of jokes being shouted over the loudspeakers at one point the loudspeakers just like god damn it doctor don't make me say it again where the hell are you

I mean they were like we have so many jokes we cannot cut them that's why the walk needs to be three and a half minutes it's the first three and a half minutes of an hour and 24 minute movie yeah this is some uh some some Charles Moon ass padding going on here Charles Moon yeah Charles Moon isn't that the

wait no Charles Bant Moon production How dare you Productions, Charles, it's like when I call Courtney Love Courtney Hole. You cannot call her Courtney Hole. Also, I took a picture of there's a piece of wood out front. There's like five of them.

I took and they summoned a spray paint. The construction workers, presumably, have spray painted hole. So I just took a picture of it and sent it to Christina and wrote, Go on, take everything! I almost took a picture of it and texted it to you saying,

I would be the girl with the most cake. Oh, my God. Why are we sharing a brain? I'm just saying those whole records, fucking good. Oh, my God. She had a great screen. She had such a great screen.

Yeah. I like to listen to them in the car, but I can't hit that pitch. No, God, no. Me neither. You know, I can't even woo. No, you can't even woo. So, yes, he finally gets to dead Garrett Graham. You didn't tell me that Garrett Graham was the dad from Child's Play 2, my first 10 on this show.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a songwriter for The Grateful Dead. We don't talk about that. We don't talk about that? We don't talk about that. I thought you celebrated the man's entire catalog. I do celebrate.

Terror Vision. Yeah. Our only live show we ever did. Coming up on a decade on that fucker. Oh my God. Are you serious? We're eight years in. Yeah.

Wow. Should we do a 10-year reunion? Probably. We'll sell out Heinz Hall. Can you imagine? Yeah. Yeah, I can't. We're huge.

We're huge. Huge in Pittsburgh. Would you like to come see a show where you're going to be uncomfortable because those seats are fucking ridiculous? They're so old. They cannot fit a fat ass. Yeah. No fat ass, no long leg.

No, no fat ass, no long leg. And you've got a hog like I do, where you're just got a manspread the whole time. It's not the hog so much as the balls, Alan. I call him the piglets. What I've been told. The hog of the piglets. Oh, the piglets, sure.

So, the baby hogs. He's going to reanimate. We call them hoglets? Just a question. He's going to reanimate Garrett Graham. Yeah. The titular Bud the Chud.

Yes. But we quick cut. to a meeting of doctors and militaries. I'm more of a nuke man myself. Fucking hilarious. That's a great line. Where we learn about the Chud enzyme. The Chud enzyme, yes.

Okay, can you quickly take me through Chud the first? Remember Daniel Stern, I remember a very dirty t-shirt that he's wearing. Then he never changes. And he never changes. And I remember that they live underground. Yes, cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers. Right. And there's some sort of like corruption happening in city hall.

Hall. Is that right? Yes, people are dumping radioactive waste into the sewers where the homeless live, the unhoused live in New York City. New York City. John Goodman's a cop. There's a scene where the dog gets pulled into the manhole. Yeah, yeah. There's the whole, like, thing with the photographer and his artist lady friends. Yeah. The kid, like, almost getting snatched in the stairwell of their apartment building. It's just like a, it's, you know, it's a good urban monster movie. Okay. Where the chuds are very, very, very, very ridiculous looking. Right. Huge heads, glowing eyes, big rubbery bouncing hands.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the chud enzyme was not brought up in that film. No, the chud enzyme. It was all just radioactive waste was making this happen. Got it, got it, got it. Or some sort of toxic waste. Sure.

Yeah. This is around the time of your street trash, your toxic event. I hate street trash. I know, I can't wait till we do it. We've been doing the show for 12 years. Yeah, we've done. You just got to bud the chud. Every time I say, I hate that movie, you say, I can't wait to get to it.

I just don't think after a full dozo it's going to happen, you know? Who can say? So, yes, so they're shutting down the Chud Research Program. It's not working. The Colonel Master is really one of these people to become super warriors. Yeah, that allowed, basically like the Chud enzyme allowed soldiers to keep fighting after they were dead. And one guy is like, yeah, but they would go into like a frenzy. And he's like, I think they've just got spunk.

Okay. Played by lauded actor Robert Vaughn, who has just fucking absurd in this movie and has maybe the funniest line in the whole goddamn movie. I don't know what that is. Is it keep it up assholes? Because that made me laugh pretty hard. Is it this chuds for you? Is it, I'm undercover when he's hiding underneath a tarp? Yeah, that was pretty good. It's that one.

He is a delight in this movie. He's just like, this is dumb. I'll be dumb. And he's, he was in a ton of stuff, right? Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a real actor. For sure, Honda P. So Colonel Masters is like, okay, we got one left. Take that guy, Bud the Chud. Bud the Chud.

To, we don't know that his name is Bud yet. I think this is when he tells us. Is it? Yeah. I thought it was after we, okay, okay. Maybe. So they wanted him to take him to? to like small town New Jersey CDC.

Right. That's a good place to hide him while they wait for the project to hopefully be refunded. Yeah. So they go looking for him in the building. Oh no, we see like the glass syringe break.

Yeah. People are using glass syringes in 89. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were crazy about that stuff. Okay. That was a big time. Yeah, a big thing for us.

I'm trying to remember. Probably. Okay. I probably still grow at glass. I don't know about that. Plastics didn't really take off until I was in my teens in the 50s. Okay, all right.

The military police helmets are so funny. They're just wearing like motorcycle helmets that have MP written on them. Sure. And when I say written, I mean in stickers. They're looking for them. They're looking for him. There's a fracas we see in the, there's a fight. And then they open a door and a cat jumps out.

Why is our cat in that hospital? Why is our cat in that hospital, Alan? I love this movie It's so stupid While they're recovering from the shock of the cat He comes running out from a room across the hall Well the chud does He's got bad teeth

He's got chunk chunky teeth Chonky teeth Chonky teeth Like chunks are missing from his teeth Chunky chunky missing teeth Yeah Oh we cut to biology class I hate Steve

And I also hate Kevin How you feel about Katie, though? She's great. I was thinking, is Katie the most used name in any of, like, over all of the horror movies we've done? I feel like Katie is the most used name. Is that, is there something to that? Did they do that for me, knowing I would, I would, that a five-year-old me would someday have this podcast? Probably.

Pretty cool. If I had to guess. I mean, yeah. Yeah. Katie. Please. Katie, yum, yum. Hi.

I really should have greeted you with Katie Yum Yum, but I was peeing when you came in. No, you're pooping. I had to stop pooping standing up. Yeah, I think Missy got mad about that. It's not right. Biology class, there's a dude with a mullet who sets a thing with a frog on fire. I don't understand this whole bit. He's going to reanimate the...

He's a moron. Yeah. He's going to reanimate the frog using electricity. Like, Frankenstein. Uh-huh. But instead he just lights everything on fire and then throws alcohol on it to put out the fire. Yes, he does.

Yeah. But luckily, Kevin is there. Kevin sucks too. Kevin, but very smart boy. You're a smart boy. Then why is he friends with Steve? You got to have a dumb friend to make you look smarter, right? If you're Kevin.

Is that why you keep me around? No, it would be the other way. No, you're the book boy. You read more books than I do. That's not true. You're smarter. No, you are. No, you're prettier. No, you're younger.

No one has ever yelled, Santa, put me in that nice list to you. Well, you have a better beard than me. That's true. Also, that kid rules. The kid fucking rules. That all heroes working. He yelled at you off his school bus is so good. I hope when he got off the bus, all the other kids carried him off the bus.

He deserved it. Put me on that nice list. But he was probably too busy, like, trying to, like, throw firecrackers at people or something. Yeah. Probably trying to reanimate a frog with electricity. So, so they, the, Kevin and Stephen get punished by having to go down and I don't know, feed the frogs in the biology basement of the school. This looks just like the scene from Return of the Living Dead where they're in the warehouse. Exactly.

And I do like that when we come into that scene, Stephen's not doing anything, but he does have the arm of the. the like skeleton around his shoulder while he's talking to Kevin who's doing all the work. Kevin's like, this is supposed to be punishment. Steve says all school is punishment. I don't know why he don't like Stephen. He seems like a very Katie coded character. I don't know. It's too short. Just kidding. I stand a short king. He's just, uh, he just sucks. I do like that his hair is as as tall as his mullet is long. Yeah, it's a full, It's a full like, it's a Roman helmet. They're perfect.

It's ridiculous. Not the Roman helmet where you throw your dick over someone's forehead. Sir? I have never heard that before in my life. Yeah, you can do a Roman helmet. From behind? Yeah. That's a big dick.

Hey, I gotta take up two seats on the airplane. One for me, one for a hog. One for me, one for thee. Steve is like clicking the lights on and off, but it's just one lamp. And Kevin's like, stop, I can't see what I'm doing in this otherwise super brightly lit room.

And then they noticed the dead body that's in their high school. Yeah, that's not in a cold room. It's just out in the open. It's in the basement with the frogs. Then I started thinking about the Sam Elliott movie frogs. Side pipe Sam. Side pipe Sam.

And I got really bummed that we'd already done it on this podcast because that means we can't do it again. Return of the Living Dead is precedent that we have done a movie twice. Yeah. But you didn't hate that one. That was, I hated it the second time too. Yeah, you did.

But we loved the frogs. We both loved frogs. Yeah, side pipe Sam. Side pipe Sam. And also, wasn't there like a message of, um, eco-friendlyness while they took out a billionaire? Were the frogs eating a billionaire or something? Yeah.

Yeah. So good. Spoilers for that movie. It's fucking great movie. God, he's so handsome in it. When the frogs are hopping on the American flag cake. Yes. Come on.

That is, that is a metaphor and a half right there. I had plans to go home and watch killer clowns from outer space as a bit of a comfort movie. Did you watch this on Tobey and it's suggestion you watch Killer Clowns next? No, Lucy is watching a Netflix children's program in the puppeteers of the Chiodos brothers. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, and I was like, why do I know? Oh, they're the Killer Clowns guys. So I started thinking about that.

But now I'm thinking I might watch frogs. I think you should do Killer Clowns. Killer Clowns is more of a Halloween season. It is. It's a perfect film, too. Oh, my God. Oh, perfect. Oh, my God.

Do we give that a 10? We should have. Retroactive 10 for killer clowns from out of the series. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not at 11. Yeah, actually 12. Let's keep going. 47.

There you go. Favorite president, favorite number. Favorite president? Favorite number. 45, 47. Actually, I'm Joe Biden's my favorite president. I'm going to give it a 46. Remember Joe Biden?

I forgot he was president. We call those the dead years. Also, Josh Shapiro, you got to stop texting me, dog. Josh Shapiro. Oh, only send me nudes. Don't send me stuff for money. Don't ask me for money. Give me free nudes or go home.

$5 for dick pick. Oh, yeah. Political donations done right. I don't want Josh Shapiro to run for president. No. No, I want him to just stay here. You're doing great here. Yeah, you're just a hometown boy, hometown hero.

Oh, yeah. He's just a small town boy living in a lonely. Toy. It doesn't know who no longer rhymes. Anyway, they shove this dead body out the loading dock and it starts going down the hill on a gurney. Down the driveway, down the hill, into traffic on a gurney. They say he's headed for the highway and he's picking up speed. They never get him back.

So what do they do, Alan? Immediately give up running after it. When it goes into traffic, they're like, oh, that's that, I guess. So they just let it go. And they were like, we'll just get a replacement. Get a replacement. Where could we get a replacement? How about the disease control?

Center. Very, very smart. How smart is Kevin? Very, very smart. How about the one in the quarantine chamber? That seems fine. Does that seem like a good place to get one? When they're, when they're icy, icy cold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They take it back to Stevens' house. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Stephen's parents fucking rule so hard. I want to drink beers and watch this very good program about Alaska. Hey, Kevin. What's that? Snow? Uh-huh. What are those? Penguins. Penguins aren't an Alaska dog.

It's on the other side of the fucking globe. When they're going upstairs with Bud the Judd, you're just here on the TV. The penguins tend to run fast when hunting season begins. Like people are hunting penguins. Penguin meat is a delicacy in Alaska. As pit bull. I love that this movie is just like, if I stop telling jokes, they'll stop paying attention. So never, ever stop telling jokes.

They're not going to be funny. No, it feels like the way we do our show, just rapid fire jokes hoping for something to hit. I'm just a gatling gut of jokes. Four out of 40 are going to hit. But they're good. Yeah, they're good. They're good. That's good.

Yeah. There are for some reason Legos all over their table, like assembled Legos. Uh-huh. And they have a yappy dog that hates. Bud the Chud. Yeah, Jasper. Yeah. I wonder if the dog who plays Jasper is also the dog in Elvira's, uh, my kind of think of,

it's not Haunted Hills, it's the other one. It doesn't matter. We did it. Yeah, the Elvira movie. The Elvira movie. With the old one that's got the pink mohawk and everything. Oh, maybe. Yeah, they seem very similar.

Yeah. A good, good, good dog. Good dog. So the little sister sees Stephen with Bud the Chud, taking him into his room. I have to have an annoying kid sister because also in Zeno Man. Encino Man ripped off this movie, to be fair. What year did Encina Man come? 90.

Oh, okay. He puts him in the bathtub. As you do. It fills it with bubble bath. Yeah. After he tells a sister that she's having a nightmare. Yeah. And that, like, if she doesn't go back to bed, this man that he has is going to kill her.

Yeah. And then when she walks away, he goes, I'm going to regret that when I'm an adult. Yeah. There's a real big age gap between Stephen and his sister. He's about 22 and she's seven. I mean, there's like a January-December relationship between mom and dad as well. There seems to be a huge age gap there. Dad hates everything, too.

Throughout the movie, he hates the dog. He hates Halloween. He just hates. And as an avowed hater, I'm with him. So, yeah, he puts bud in the tub and then he's frying off his face with the hairdriker. It's like one of those tiny hotel hair dryers that mounts to the wall. And then he, for unexplicable reasons, inexplicable, throws it into the fucking bathtub.

Flips it into the tub. Bubble bath plus electrical current equals... Reanimation. Reequals Encino, man. But they didn't try to make him his friend. Well, I thought they were gonna. I thought that was going to be the plot of the movie where they're just rolling around with a chud.

Do you think Stephen or Kevin are more likely to wheeze the juice? Stephen is absolutely Polly Shore. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. We could get an A in biology. Reanimated Bud starts doing Pratt Falls.

He fixes his nose. He like sits in the toilet. He fixes his nose. But he looks scared. Yeah. Yeah. I feel sorry for Bud the Chud here. And that's when I was like, oh, they're going to be they're going to be buds.

He's a bud. He's a Bud. He's a Bud the Chud. Yeah. No, no, no. They decided to take him to the basement. Why didn't they take him to the basement in the first place? Why would you bring him upstairs to the main bathroom? Oh, because there was some problem with the dog was annoying Stephen, so he didn't want to

take him to the basement, so he took him upstairs. Oh, no, he couldn't like wield him down the steps, but he could up the steps. Who the fuck knows? Okay, got it. Makes sense. Um, we also get a voiceover from the TV that says at times penguins mistake other species for their mates, including polar bears, walruses. Yeah, it's stupid. Cut two Bossy Burgers. So they go to Bossy Burgers because... The burger's names are so good. I didn't catch the burgers.

Bodacious, bouncy. Oh, yes. Bronco. Bobby. Set up for that joke later. Yeah, it's pretty good. So yes, they're at Bossy Burgers waiting to meet Katie. And Bud breaks out of the basement where they put him.

And he is now running rampant through the house. He's bit Jasper. He's eating dog food. Yeah. There's like a little back and forth where he keeps saying meat and the mom thinks it's the dad saying it. She's like, there's meatloaf on your plate. And he's like, I know that. He also has a scene where he's scared of the toilet.

Why is it overflowing? I don't know from two flushes. What's going on there? Also, carpeted toilets. Remember carpeted toilets? Yeah. What a fucking thing where you had the matching rug, toilet lid cover, and then toilet tank cover. As a stand-up here, when you take both the seats up, that carpeted thing keeps it from resting properly.

So it's constantly falling down. So you got to hold it while you're holding that massive haul. And you need two hands for your hog. Sometimes three. I've grown a third. Yeah. Well, women like to hold it when you, when you pee. In the rich fiction of this podcast, women like to hold it when you pee.

Apparently it's not just the rich fiction of this podcast because I got some comments this week. Love it. Yeah. Yeah, apparently it's not uncommon. No, no, I wouldn't think. So, and then we're cutting to Colonel Masters watching the video of the body being stolen. And somebody's like, yeah, we've got the kids' faces. And did you get the car?

Yeah, we have the license plate for the car. So we'll be able to find them. Huh. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, seems like. like the thing you could do, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So stupid.

So stupid. They're drinking, the parents are drinking, um, this bottle of wine that looks, the, the, the label is insane. And she goes, yeah, it's award-winning wine from Wisconsin, which made me cackle for some reason. I thought that would be a good joke for you. Yeah, like that. You know what's really shit Pennsylvania wine?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never good. They're like, would you like the ice wine? I'm like, never, no, thank you. Never want the ice wine. Yeah.

It's disgusting. Get out of here with that shit. What are we doing here? What are we doing here? So in the house, Bud finds a photograph of Stephen, Kevin, and Katie. I thought Stephen and Katie were an item at first, but they're not. They're all just like childhood buds. They're all childhood buds.

Obviously, Kevin has a thing for Katie. Sure. And I feel like Katie's got a thing for bad boy, Stephen. Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I think she just thinks they're her friends. And she wears the hell out of a red lip.

I'll tell you what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Would you like to know who her step sister is? Is it Bianca Jagger? No, Bianca Jagger. Bianca Jagger's in this movie, but I didn't see her. We'll get to that.

Okay. No, she is the step sister of one Carrie Fisher. Oh, in real life. R.R.L. Oh, IRL. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God rest of her soul. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

From your favorite movie, Star War. Yeah, I saw the one that she's in. Yeah, the one, Carrie Fisher's Star Wars. One, Carrie Fisher. Before, yeah. before they killed off her character. Princess Diana. Some 50 years later.

Princess Diana. Yeah, she was being chased by paparazzi. It was really sad. Remember when the Fayette family killed off Princess Leia? Shit happens, man. So Bud the Chud is immediately enamored with Katie. Yeah, he tears the boys' pictures off either side and crumbles them up and he's like, Katie.

And I've written here at that. That bathing suit is odd, but we'll get a better look at it later. Did not feel it was school appropriate. I don't know why she had that at school. So my mom finds the messy toilet. And she's yelling at dad to come up and fix the toilet. Because she wants to put on, it's getting all over her mud pack. My mother never used mud packs.

Your mother looked like Humphrey Bogart. My mother never smoked is his response to that. It's stupid. This movie fucking rips. It's deeply stupid. The thing that I like is that at no point is this movie think it's anything but. No, that's true. It's not, it knows what it is.

Although apparently, they filmed it in three different ways. Okay. Or edited it. No, they filmed it so that they could either up the comedy or up the horror. Okay. And then also for like TV edits. Sure. So they could get it down from an R rating.

There's very little horror in it, really. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They clearly went the comedy route, for sure. So we now get a conversation where this one guy is talking about a chudified brain and chudism. Chudism, yeah. It felt like looks maxing somehow. It felt like, like, proto looks maxing.

Oh, the gigacud? Yeah, maybe that's what it is. The gigacud. Yeah. It's right there. We get a long-running joke of they have to go back to Bossy Burger because Stephen just loves his bossy burgers. Yeah. Oh, no.

This is the, we get the cop car telling the story of them stealing everything from the, from stealing the body and all that and identifying the car over the cop radio. Right. This is before we get the aerobics lady, right? Correct. God, I love her. Because buds out in the street walking around. Jasper is now as.

zombie. So Bud sees the lady jazzercising or whatever the fuck she's doing. She's doing step aerobics in a backless leotard. Yeah. I thought she was looking at topless of hers and got very excited. Yeah. I mean, there's a shocking lack of tits in this movie.

She calls the lady on the video a neo-Nazi anorexic leotard slut, which made me cackle. And the whole time she's doing exactly what I do any time exercising. What's that? If I do this exercising, I can have pizza. I can have beer. I can do these things. Five more minutes of this, I can have a cigarette and order a pizza. And then she's like, fuck it, I'm smoking now.

The cigarette was already lit. It was already lit. She just picked it up. Oh, it's a good girl. Fucking good girl. So she's got to go feed her cat. Jogger. Jogger.

Where would you ever? She's exercise. She's exercise nut. Yeah, she doesn't. She hates it. Also, why did women wear leg warmers to work out? Legs get warm when you exercise. I don't know.

There was something about them that was like sexy. I mean, yeah, they are definitely like, bare minimum cute. Yeah, yeah. But I don't get the workout. No, no, no. Yeah, leg warmers and a sweatshirt cut so it's off shoulder. That I will always like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So she goes out to feed jogger, and when she goes out to feed jogger, a pair of boots walk in front of her, and immediately she's just like, my, what big feet you have, my, what big thumbs you have. Oh, you have. Stick that up my head. She's like, I'm into fisting, but only thumbing. She's into him. Even when she sees his face, she's into him. Yeah, until she sees his teeth.

No, no, those teeth. She screams, and then he screams with her and then bites her. Love it. It's very silly. So Bud's now walking around, he, like, there's a drunk guy who's grumbling and mumbling and goes to pee behind a dumpster, and Bud eats him and takes his jacket. Good thing that man's suit was eight times too big for him so that it would fit our boy, bud. He's not a tiny man.

No, and the man coming out of the bar was. Yeah, yeah, it's a short king. Yeah, short king. I stand a short king. And then the singer of Wall of Voodoo starts singing the song, Bud the Chud. Yeah. Because Wall of Voodoo does the soundtrack to this movie inexplicably.

The soundtrack is blasting and then I can't hear any of the dialogue. I also like when Bud the Chud eats the guy who came out of the bar, he gets a little drunk and starts doing cartoonish drunk hiccuping. It's, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So Jasper attacks the mailman. Yeah, it's the next morning.

It's Halloween we learn. Yes. The dad bites into a prune. He goes, this prune has a pit. Prince of pits, bro. It's a plum. This prune is a pit. This prune is a pit.

See? You're getting it. You're getting the genius of this film. I don't think I'm getting the... Okay, all right, fine. Jasper attacks the mailman. He's dragging the mailman across the street. You could see the rope tied.

to the middleman's arm dragging him into the street. It's very funny. And little sister is watching this, of course. And so, uh, Katie and Kevin show up at Stephen's house. And both the parents are like, why aren't you in school? Why aren't you guys in school? And then Stephen comes downstairs and your kid isn't in school. Yeah, but he's a fucking loser.

We've learned that he's been kicked off the team for being on academic probation. What team? What sport is Stephen playing? Yes. Yeah. Maybe there's a cool guy team. His dad wants him to go into construction. It's a family tradition.

I like that, Kevin. He's real smart. We can's, though. Weeks. Weeks. Yeah. So the Fed show up at the house to get Stephen and the gang. They were like, tell him he's dead meat.

And the mom's like, do you think that's a little bit harsh? I like the mom a lot. She's just out here doing her best. I also like anybody who's just walking around with a riding crop. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it is. Why does this man have a whip? It's a riding crop.

It's a riding crop. He just, he only is driven everywhere. He doesn't ride anything. But he does smack a lot of stuff with the riding crop. Yeah. So the feds leave pretty quick. They don't hang out and do anything. They don't search the house looking for Bud the Chud, nothing.

But the Chud, meanwhile, is getting a haircut and then chomping the barber. Yes. Well, he steps out of the barbershop wearing a cape that already has blood on it and then uses it to wipe his mouth. And then we see this guy's come in talking about moving. who stopped styled hair jobs, but the barber's a chud, and he doesn't notice it. This was a thing that I was, there was no way you were going to know who this guy was. Who? Rich Hall is the guy that comes in to get a haircut.

Okay. And he's famous for being on an HBO show that I can't remember the name of, but he did a segment called Sniglitz. Oh, no. Where he would make up funny words for things that happened to you in life. Like getting your swimsuit knocked off in the ocean is dethrunkification. Okay, I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But like I was like, oh, there's no way anyone knows. Like there's so many cameos in this movie that anyone under 60 is not going to fucking recognize. I didn't, I didn't, I don't know. You didn't clock a single one. I did not clock a single one. No, no, no. Why would you?

A thing that I did like in this scene and did clock was that behind them in the barbershop is an image of dogs playing billiards, but it's a fucking woven tapestry. It's incredible. It's incredible. If anyone wants to go on Etsy or Peeho. Boxes. Something. 5741.

P.O. Box 5741. Bitzerk, Pennsylvania, 15206. There you have it. So if you want to send a woven tapestry of dogs playing billiards for Katie's home. I'll put that in my office behind my desk so that when I do Zoom calls, people are looking at it. I have a degree in art history. Give it to me. Fucking art.

I mean, you can't argue that it's not. No, what is art truly? Oh, now that degree's coming and useful. So they go back to Bossie Burger. Yeah. And now this like a farm truck pulls up. Uh-huh, uh-huh. And who's in the farm truck?

A bunch of chuds. Yeah, and Bud. And Bud the chud. Bud the chud. They all get out to go to Bossy Burger, but Bud stays in the back of the truck. Yeah, just seemingly sated and happy with what he's done with his life. Well, what are they doing? What are the farm guys doing?

No, they're going to go eat some people. They just want to eat Bobby. And by farm guys, we should state that they look like they are hired hands for a road company of Oklahoma. They're all like bandanas around their neck and checkered shirts. Yep. Hair and two braids for the lady. Yeah. Trucker caps for the men.

One of those brides for one of those seven brothers is just rolled in. Yes. So we get the callback scene of all. the burgers being named Bartleby and Mipsquack and bouncy, bouncy, bodacious. Bobby. And the guy behind the counter's name is Bobby. Yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, so they eat them.

We never see anybody get it. No. We only just see them go rah! And every time it's the same scream. And there's like one person in this group scream that's a little bit off. It's like kind of pitchy. You can hear it every single time. I love it when it happens.

And it's clearly true. children and they just have the same adult voice. Also, that was definitely not that little kid's voice who said bitch in costume, right? That was definitely a grown woman. No, that was a little kid. No way. He was the woman who voiced Bob. Yes, I do.

Oh, God. Mommy, I want to go home. No, mommy. Mommy. Mommy. What movie was that? It was a house by the cemetery. House by the cemetery.

Fucking classic fulchie. Dr. Freud. Steve. Maybe I'll watch that tonight. Who can say? Oh man, you want to borrow the DVD? I don't.

I don't have any way to play a digital versatile disc. Someone wrote in and was like, I'm going to send you one. I was like, please do not send you a DVD player. You're going to mess up the whole thing. Shweeped you how she's got that, our living room set up.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Just go with it. It's fine. Got it, got it, got it. We learned that,

um, technically what they've done to the chuds is, outlawed by the Geneva Convention, but they weren't prepared for enzyme warfare. Fucking idiot. Did you clock who's driving Colonel Masters around? I did not. It's the criminal from Pete Wee's Pick Adventure. Oh, he did look familiar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's been a couple things we've done. He has. Yeah. Who knew he had such a storied horror career? So the Colonel and the Weasley guy and Sam, the driver, show us. up that bossy burger because they're going to get something to eat.

And the colonel is so excited to see Chuds in the wild. To have them over, the place is overrun with Chuds and he's stoked. So he bazookas the restaurant, not checking to see that the bazooka worked and killed anybody. I don't understand this because they blow up the burger place with a bazooka. Yeah. And then one of them says to the other, you know what this means, don't you? And he says, yes, we'll have to arm the men with walks.

I don't understand what the fuck does that mean. I don't know. I was assuming it was some late 80s racism that I just didn't clock. That was baffling. I rewound it because I was like, did he say rocks or walks? He says walks. Yeah, the subtitles came up as walks. Yeah.

I don't, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't get it. But I just moved on because I was like, well, if I just ignore the racism, maybe I can move away from it. It didn't happen. Well, why would this man be racist? But the chuds are not dead. All of them, two, a chud stand up.

And why would this, why would he be okay with killing them anyway? He wants chud. I think he wants to kill them. He's like enjoying the hunt of killing them. Right, that's true. He just wants to keep Bud and put him in cryogenically freezing. So Bud can keep making these people so he can keep on to them. Ah, I see.

Yeah. So now the kids find Bud in a barn. He's in a barn. He's just relaxing there, I guess. Just max in and relaxing. Yeah. He sees Katie. Katie.

All the chuds are eating small livestock. Like one's holding a largeish actually rabbit. Yeah. It's holding a rooster? What you guys doing in this movie? I love what Bud, like, turns to gesticulate and just knock someone's head off. Yes, he knocks one of the Chuds heads off. And then the farmer comes in and goes,

what in the wide world of sports is going on here? Seas one of his employees blasts him with a shotgun. He doesn't even really check to see what's happening with Bucky, his employee, before he shotgun blasts him. them right through the barn wall. Blast him and then turns to everyone else. He goes, you guys should probably leave. Yeah.

Why does he kill his employee? I don't know. And Stephen says, this guy shows a lot of spunk. Two times spunk. Callback. Katie Nutshots Bud with a rake. And I guess bullets, no, nutshot, yes. These are the things that will hurt a chud.

I think it just hurts Bud's feelings more than anything. Yeah. Yeah. Kevin hits him with a bale of hay and that's enough to like knock him down. Yeah, I love a good farm fight scene. Then the chuds show or the feds show up. And this is where we get Colonel Masters saying this chuds for you. Yes.

He's asking them questions and they're refusing to answer and he's like, keep it up assholes. That's fucking fantastic. He's bad shit. He loves how resilient the chuds are. Yeah, they're mutating. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then they realize that like if there's anywhere that there's going to be a large gathering of people, this will be so attractive for the Chuds. Luckily, we know that there's a Halloween dance tonight. Well, they were like a football game and I was like, oh no, a football game. It's not football game. It's a dance. It's a dance. Every one of these movies has to end in a dance. Yeah, it's true.

Neon maniacs. You, Mary Lou. Did you say boo-hoo, Mary Lou? You-hoo? Wasn't it, You-hoo Mary-Loo? Prong night, too. You-hoo. You-hoo.

Is it not? Am I making this up? I'm looking it up. Prom-night-2. Brom-night-2. Hello, Mary-Loo. It's actually, hello, Mary-Loo, colon, prom-night, too. I never could have come up with that.

I prefer, you-hoo. You-hoo. Well, we do our best. So we get the chuds out in the woods. The headless one has been kicking his head around and Bud finds it and puts it back on for him. It's funny. Yes, I like it. And like puts it on, it does a little

to like seat it properly. It's very cute. Now they're looking for meat. They're looking for meat. And we cut to the coroner who is, instead of eating a sloppy sandwich, he's drinking brown alcohol out of the bottle and smoking. Smoking rules.

You would not know who that man is, but that's the man who played Major Burr. on MASH. Look, I'm going to go to my grave, having never seen a second of MASH, and that is fine with me. Why would I? Why would you? Is it about the Korean War? Yes.

I don't know. Fuck about that. It's about the Vietnam War, but it's set in the Korean War because the Vietnam War had just ended. Oh, shit. Okay. So, yes. So, yeah, we get Major Burns as the corner. He gets turned immediately into a chud.

he leaves, he gets turned by the mailman who Jasper turned. Right. And now they're walking down the street and they make a taste great, less filling joke? Yes. Which was an ad campaign for Budweiser or Miller. Bud Light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bud Light, there you have it.

Bud, Bud the Chud. Oh, my God. This Bud's for you. This has all been product placement for Budweiser. I mean, I think the family is drinking beer and watching the Penguin documentary. Yeah, they are. They are red and white cans too. Oh shit.

God damn it. I could go for a bud right now. This buds for you. This buds for me. It's chuds for you. No, thank you. This chuds for you is like a wacky packages level like humor. I don't know what wacky packages is.

Yeah, okay. I'm not from the 70s. It was the same people who made garbage bail kids. Okay, that I know. That I know. Because I am from the 80s. Yeah, you should know because there's an entire stack of garbage pill kids sitting next to you. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Big garbagepoil kids fan. They're in the shelf that's right next. There's like a Chud Army during trick-or-treating. They're walking around like an army, which is cool. I like it. He checks his troops. He inspects the troops.

He inspects the troops and he goes, eat them up, eat them up. Yum, yum, yum. They're doing like a military chant. In the trick-or-treating scene, did you notice who was walking a kid around? No. Robert England, aka French. No, I didn't see that. I love that.

He's got like a French coat on. on and he's in the middle of the street. Is he the one who leaves a child very young, unattended, in pajamas in a yard? Probably. Who's old enough, I guess, to say bitch in costume, even though it's clearly not that child's voice. Did you clock the conversation off screen with two kids and one one says, I got a popcorn ball? I got a punch in the nose. That's from Charlie Pound.

I got a bag of rocks. Yeah. It's Charlie Brown. I got assaulted. So Bud picks up this kid. And you're like, oh, no, Bud's going to eat a kid. that's going to eat a kid. Yeah.

And he goes, Mm, small fry. Yeah. And then puts the kid down. You know, sometimes the jokes in these movies, like you said,

Gatling Gun, you're just like, ugh. Eat them up, eat them up. Yum, yum, yum. So now they go to the house with some old people. Yeah.

The old people are. These are another cameo for you. This is Norman Fell. No one has time for this. A.k.a. Mr. Roper from Three's company. This is a made for a television movie?

These are all television actors. June Lockhart, aka the mom from Leave it to Beaver. I did recognize her. And also the voice of the Nanny from Muppet Babies for all of you youngsters out there. I thought Nanny just went

Mw-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W. No, she talks to him. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think she does. No, I think I just went into Charlie Brown again. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, we get the kids saying, hey, bitch in costume to the zombies, not judge. They're zombies, let's be honest. Yeah, I mean, they call them zombies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they forgot this wasn't Return of the Living Dead. So they eat Norman Fell and June Lockhart's bird in front of them. Yeah, they do. And then they turn them.

Yeah. You don't let people into your home on Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving. No, you don't let them in on Thanksgiving either. They probably came to argue politics with you. You don't let children into your home on Halloween. you don't do that there was the one i'm sure i've told this a thousand times but there was the one house who had you went into the house and you could choose full-sized candy bar or comic book yeah and i was like later on i was like that had to be a pedophile oh yeah they were they were scoping the scope in the scene and then upstairs

we have a bubble bath with a chud in it yuck uh we get the colonel and sam driving into town Sam is now a chud. And the colonel says something to Sam and Sam's like, and he goes, I love it. I love a guy who never says no to napalm. I missed that line. And I'm devastated by it. So we go to the dance.

They're like getting stopped at the door. They're clearly adults. These people, the mailman is 42 years old. We're told from his autopsy. And he looks every day of it. Every fucking day. No, she's like, are you from a different high school? What are you talking about?

When she says, okay, all right, three dollars a piece. And blood the chug goes, three, six, not, no. It's nine and that's too much. Too much. And then she's like, just, that dog can't come in here. The dog has to say out here. Okay, the dog could come in. Yeah.

It's so, and then they all jump on her and they do the group screen. dream again where that one person is just a little pitchy. I love that Chuds do math. Chats too math. We meet back up with the science teacher. Proctor. And this is my favorite thing in this fucking movie. Describe me the whole thing.

This stupid fucking movie. That's a goddamn delight for a certain side of this room. So they're, they get, proctor is now as Yeah. So they start having a tussle with him. He falls backwards onto a Bunsen burner that is lit. Yes. The Bunsen burner goes through the back of his head, out the front, and the flame remains him

standing up with the gas line hanging off the back of his head. Unbelievable. Fucking beautiful. I loved it so much. I was like, I have never seen that before. Or he's got the Bunsen burner through his head. It's the greatest thing I've ever seen in a movie. Yeah, it comes through from behind, and it's just lit and sparkling.

And there was a point where I was like, I'm looking at it. You can see the like, like appliance on his forehead. But I'm like, you got it to burn. You got it to burn? It's pretty cool. His eyebrows must have been so scared. Yeah, men of a certain age, when those things start wizarding up your forehead? Oh, yeah.

That could go right to the hairline, frankly. Yeah, yeah. So they do the electricity while frozen thing and explode him. So Kevin gets an idea about what he's going to do. Yes. And Steve's like, if you were still alive and not a chud, he would have given us an A for that. Which is not, Shakespeare never wrote that? No, you're right.

The bard, the bard never wrote that. Unbelievable. So they're going to go to the pool and they're going to freeze all the chud. They need bait. They need bait. What are they going to use for bait? Well, you got one hottie with you. You got a hottie and she just happens to have that same bathing suit from the photo.

Yeah, like, like, like, early shot in your Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition photo shoot. Like, it's not a school appropriate. I hate to be a fuddy-dun. No, it's not a swimsuit that you could wear for any type of actual activity. It's strictly sunbathing. Right, because you can't keep your tits in it. What is keeping her tits in there? Yeah, and she, she had to, to nair if you're going to dare wear short shorts.

Who wears short shorts? Nair for short shorts because it was very close cropped on her hoo-ha. I didn't notice that, but okay. I mean, bathing suits tend to be. Sure, but this was, it was one of those ones that's like cut really high. It's a high cut. Yeah, a French cut, I think they call it. Oh, okay, okay.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, la la la. It's got that a jeanisequa. So Katie's in her hot bathing suit and she's like, hey, chuds, hubba, hubba, and they're like, you want a little bite of this chud, chud lady? They all get chud boners. It sucks. They get chuddies. Anyway, she runs to the pool.

She runs. They're yelling Katie, yum, yum. Katie, yum, yum, yum. She jumps into the pool. She's not apprised of the plan. No. She's just like, I got a little hot for the chud.

She dives in the pool and they're like, Katie, get out of there. She's also running barefoot and you can tell she's like, oh no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, you're not allowed to do this. For a good reason. Steve just throws in a life preserver after her. That's not going to help, Steve. As they're slowly ushering all the chud into the pool and the one does a backflip into it.

I was like, oh, the stuntman showed up. So good. Also in the dancing scene. They can all swing dance. This is even pre-revival. But I was like, uh, swing dancing. Come on, everybody. What are we doing here?

I mean, there's something about dancing, and this is a me hang up and not anybody else. Sure. But like choreographed dancing in non-like film situations, it makes me really uncomfortable. You mean like when people do it at their weddings? Or yeah, or just like, well, my man and I have worked out this routine and we're going to go down to the clurb this weekend. To people, I don't think there's a lot of routines at the club. Isn't it mostly just grinding? Let me tell you how many times I've been at a dance club.

Yeah. So, I've never been to a dance club. You want to go? No. Yeah. I've been to like dance nights that Diplo used to DJ at in Philadelphia. That's different. That's different. No, we need to go to the clurb.

The clurb. Yeah, we'll get a bottle service. What do you think you get, they bring you a bottle of? Juice. You guys got Diet Mountain Dew? We're going to be up all night, baby! And probably get a headache from the aspirin. Oh, I love that.

They see so much thirstier. Yeah, they freeze the chut. They freeze. They throw, yeah, they throw, why was there so much liquid nitrogen in this school? Is that what it was? I couldn't forget what the tights were. I would assume? I would assume. Is that what oxygen does to water? I don't know what's going on here.

It's dry ice, right? Yeah, I don't know. So while they're freezing the chud, Stephen gets bit on the foot. Yes, he does. And they all freeze except for the dad from Childs Play, too, aka about the chud. Yeah. And. A.k.a. the hunky boy from Phantom of the Paradise. Right.

Yeah. Which is a movie we really love. liked. You did? I'm pretty sure you did too. I don't know about that one. That sounds like you're making that up. He was also in used cars, the Kurt Russell classic.

Okay. I liked that. That makes sense. He's also in something that's like he's briefly in a scene with him and Mary Wernow. They're very fun together. I love Mary Warnow. Yeah. So Bud pulls himself out of the frozen pool because we've learned that the Chud can heat their bodies up to unfreece themselves.

Right, that's one of the mutations. Yeah. So they've got to get electricity in there. You know, from Chudism. From Chudism. He's in shopping mall. That might be what it is. Yeah, I think it's chopping mall.

They're at the presentation about the security system. I think so, yeah. And they're like making like goofs the whole time and it's really fun. And he's in, it's Alive 3. Didn't we do that? The Island of the Alive? Didn't we do them all in like, why didn't we do that? They were so good.

They were not. Police Academy 6. Jesus fuck, he's been in everything Is that the Moscow one? Academy under Or city under siege Oh no, okay No, no, no, no.

I think you're thinking of Police Academy 5 mission to Moscow? Yes, thank you. No, Police Academy 7 mission to Moscow. Oh, okay, okay. Let me get it right. They made so many Police Academy movies. Oh, yeah.

And speaking of movies that do not stand the test of time. Oh, I wouldn't think so. No, the Sism and them is phenomenal. What's it? The Sism? Racism. Racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'm not going back to that. So Katie to get away from Bud the Chud Climes the diving board Which at one point When we see it seems to be made Out of actual planks of wood Yeah, I don't It's just walking the plank

Yeah Yeah And Bud's climbing and saying Katie He rips his heart out Yeah he rips his heart out And says Please

Puts his heart in a blender Oh no Watch it's been around To a beautiful oblivion Remember when that guy was cool For like 20 minutes I saw I saw him play I had to stay J.E.

But when he was like on Twitter being funny and everyone fell in love a good. Eve 6 came back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'll always take an X-Files reference, you know? Sure, sure. So, yeah, he offers his heart to her and Stephen does the electricity and Kevin freezes bud the chud. And he just goes, hi.

Because they knock him down and now he just a severed head. Yeah. That says hi. Army shows up. Steven's family shows up. original car, original corpse hits the car with the daughter in the back seat so she has to see another dead body. Oh yeah. Cut to some time later.

Yeah. Katie and Kevin are together seemingly. He should have kept those glasses on. He looked better with glasses. Sure. He looked gnarly without them. I'm being real honest with you. She also needs to stop driving like a fucking lunatic.

She like e-breaks at him when she gets close to him. You don't like that? A little dangerous. He doesn't even have his glasses on. He can't say what he's doing. It's true. He got contacts and now he's all blurry. So they learn that Stephen is gone.

He wrote them a note where he calls them Amigos. I think he's never done at any point in this film. No, he uses a lot of other language words because he's going on a vacation. He's going on a vacation. But he's not on a vacation. I mean, I guess he is on a vacation, but he's also a chud. He's off to see the world. He's also a chud.

Also, the math. mouth on that dude is fucking gigantic. What? On Stephen? He has a huge mouth. I don't think I noticed that. So he's now a hitchhiker with Jasper. A very sexy chud lady picks him up. Yes. Played by one Bianca Jagger. That was Bianca Jagger. That makes sense. Oh, right. She's like Nicaraguan, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because I was like, this lady's accent is very hard to parse. Yeah. So, uh, Stephen gets in the front with Bianca Jagger. She's a chud. She's a chud. And Jasper gets in the back and snuffles under a blanket.

And the funny slide in the whole fucking movie is delivered when Colonel Masters raises the blanket up, shows himself and goes, I'm undercover. And then just like wraps his armor on the dog and the dog snuggles in. The end, the movie has done until you fast forward all the way through the credits. I fucking didn't. And at the very end, you get Bud the Chud. And he says, good night. the chud but the chud eat them up eat them up yum yum yum the song this the movie also ends prior to the post-credit sequence with a song that just begins I am a hungry man it's like by the titular Wall of Voodoo oh boy hubba bubba oh brother oh man oh man oh man

And so this is an eight. What did you think of it? You just gave this an eight? And you gave it without even thinking. Oh, no, I've been thinking about it. Okay, okay. This movie is absurd. Yeah.

It knows it's absurd. It's got that Gatling Gun approach to humor that I fucking love. It's got cameos from people that no one under 75 would fucking recognize. It's so dumb. It's so dumb. This is a bathing suit that can't keep your tits in. That's what this is for me. That's my rating.

A bathing suit that absolutely cannot keep your tits in. It sounds like a 10. You take it how you want to take it. You're at Sandcastle, it's less of a 10, you know. You want to go down that slide. Your tits are out. Nobody wants that. You're going to catch a charge from that.

That's a decent exposure. I'm glad that's over. Thank you so much for doing Bud of the chat. That was all in honor of Garrett Graham who passed away last week. I mean, the man gave me my first 10. Sure. Yeah. which was a Phantom of the Paradise, I believe.

Child's Play 2. It's Child's Play 2. It's a perfect film. Katie. What? I take you to a little place we like to go to on this podcast. We like to like the hitchhike and get picked up by Bianca Jagger and Judd makeup. Is it Kellys? Are we getting a beer and some mac and cheese?

It's Mailbag! I'll take it then, I guess, but I could go for some mac and cheese. Sure. All right, Mailbag. Here we go. I want to start by saying that I love your podcast. Yeah. That's not an auspicious beginning.

I feel like this is two compliments and then a criticism. Yeah, this starts to feel like a compliment sandwich. Go on. But I wish you guys would just. I have been listening to it for more than eight years now. Oh my God. Wow, you've come a long way, baby. You and Virginia Slims.

Weirwool for Ambulance is part of my weekly routine. Love that for you. Love that for us. Thank you. My week always starts with your podcast. As soon as I get up Monday morning, the newest episode plays on my Alexa as I get ready. for my day.

Oh. I kind of love that we're there to start your week with you. Yeah. I mean, I hate Mondays, but if, you know, Garfield Lazzania, here we are, I'm happy for you. So to hear your review, you review obsession was so exciting to me. What session? Obsession. Obsession.

Obsession. Sorry. I was like, what is session? Did I watch it? A Delaware mouth that one. Yeah, you really, really mush mouthed it. So to hear you review obsession with so. exciting to me. Why you ask? Why? I ask. Because Indy Navarette is my cousin. No shit.

So to have a family member mention on my favorite podcast is amazing. Good thing we only said nice things about how fucking cool she is. Yeah. I haven't seen her in a couple years, but to have someone as talented as indie represent our family and reviewed on wearable ambulance is an honor. One of those things is an honor. The Werewell Ambulance, yeah, obviously. I'm sure the item and zombievers would agree. And the guy from Hell House LLC3. He actually enjoyed it.

He thought it was funny. He thought we were good. He didn't just say, yes, we're listening. No, he's the one who said, I do walk like a duck. He got it. Oh, that one fell bad. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to every week. Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.

That was from Crystal. Oh, Crystal. Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to write in. Thanks. Tell your cool cousin, we said thanks. I love, yeah, get in touch with the cousin. Never seen her a couple years. Yeah.

Now's the perfect time. Now's going to be like, hey, remember me? It's Crystal. Remember I spelled wine all over you at the family reunion? So. It's an award-winning wine from Wisconsin. I definitely start from the beginning. I was like, this is going to break bad.

Yeah. We did something upset somebody. Yeah. That's my own to rosies. No, I get that. It always starts with like, I really do like the show. Yeah. But I really think the two of you are really nice people, but I want to tell you what you did.

But here's where you fucked up. Yeah. No, thank you for not telling us where we fucked up. You know why we know. Oh, my God. Nobody can hate us more than we hate ourselves. Luckily, no one can love the other of us more than the other one loves each other. Is this peak love?

The peak platonic life partner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Plique platonic life partner. I mean, to quote prance, I would die for you. Oh, I take a bullet for you in a heartbeat. I just hope that never happens. I don't care if it happens. I'm ready to go.

I can't wait to shuffle off this mortal coil. I'm trying to put you in any combat situation. Oh, man. And speaking of love and how much I love doing things with you. You want to do another episode next week? Yeah. What do you want to do? Let's do a more current movie so people stop complaining about us doing bad movies.

We're going to do Hocum. Hocum. The 2026 Adam Scott joint. I'm excited for it. I loved Audity so much. I say I want to watch Audity too, but I'm in a sillier mood. Sure. You're not in a mood to go, oh, oh, oh.

But I loved it. But that fucking opening scene with the guy just standing outside being like there's something inside with you. Yeah, but the wooden man. Don't want it. My mother was given this by a witch. What? It's a good-ass movie. It's a great ass movie.

So hopefully Hocum is also good. I've not seen it yet. No, let's watch it. And then let's talk about it next week. All right. Hey, didn't you just put out something on our Patreon this week? You know what? Just released the latest episode of a little podcast we like to call Nice One Mate.

What happens on Nice One Mate? Nice One Made is a line of duty rewatch podcast where over the past maybe four years we've watched like eight episodes of the show. Has it really been that long? It's been a long time. Three years, maybe. That's crazy. There was like a year gap between. between one and two.

Right, right. So in this most recent episode, the write-up that I gave for it was, we say a lot of weird things on this podcast. This is one of those instances. Really? Because we said a lot of weird things in that episode. Did we record that before or after the dissent two? After the dissent too.

Okay, so I had just finished sobbing also because I took a sobbing break in the middle. Oh, good. Sometimes pain makes me funnier, I think. The tears as lube can also be convoluted. Oh yeah. When I came up here tonight and saw the tissue box next to my chair, I was like, Motherfucker! Did you move it? I did. I didn't want to look at it.

I forget where I put it, actually. Thurt away. So come back for Hocum. Go listen to. Nice one mate. They're all free on our Patreon. Or you can join the Patreon. There's different tiers for how much you feel like giving to get all the action movie episodes. So we're going to do another one of those soon. Yeah.

I heard we're doing a James Bond's. Yeah, we're going to put up a James Bond poll. Excuse me what? A James Bond's pole? James Bond's pole. Yeah. James Bond's pole and maybe won Austin's Powers. And then so they could pick an Austin Power movie.

And then I'll be salty about it. It would be the one with Beyonce in it. Well, okay, if you're going to put up in Austin's Powers, just put up the first one because I've never seen any of them, so I should probably start. But in Werewolf Ambulance tradition, I should put up like probably the fifth one, the love guru. Wait, hold up. Are they the same universe? Sorry, no, that's a different racism

he's doing in that one. Wait, is he being racist in Austin Powers? No, probably. All right. Probably towards Scottish people. Oh, fuck them. Well, you could draw on a page. They're the whitest of people.

Name somebody whiter than the Scots. That one wrestler. Shamous. Yeah. He's whiter than everyone. Yeah. And you can go buy t-shirts and whatnot.

We've got some great. Halloween themed ones, designs by Justin Gray, that you could pick up for this season? Someone on Spotify requested that, on the Spotify comments, requested that we get a T-shirt of our logo, the face, wear a face, wearing glasses that is saying, this is a deeply feminist film, but it has a bow in its hair, so you know it's a female. I thought that was pretty funny. On the latest episode of Nix 1-Me, we came up with a T-shirt. Oh, no.

That says, rally around the family with a lap full of tails. Oh, no. This is about hand jobs, isn't it? You got to listen to the episode to get the full. I'm sorry, I just spoiled it. Descent in, no, you didn't because it is a full descent into madness that I go through in that episode. It's so good. You tell a man that you'll do anything to avoid a hand job, and they just go hog wild.

They have to make the jokes. A hog and the two piglets. That's right. Hoglets. Hoglets, thank you for listening to another episode of Wear with the ambulance. Fucking hell, bye.