Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 89- Queen of the Damned (2002)

Episode Date: July 4, 2016

In this week's episode, we make our triumphant return to the Year of Rage by hate-watching the 2002 Anne Rice nu-metal vampire movie "Queen of the Damned." Special topics for you to consider: what the motivations of any character in this movie actually are, nu metal and who even likes it??, the entirely stupid concept of a rock and roll vampire, how amazing Aaliyah is and why it takes her a full hour of this approximately 82 hour film to show up, and poor life decisions in college.  Tell us your thoughts on this one at facebook.com/werewolfambulance, on Instagram @werewolfambulance or on Twitter @werebulance. Please also contribute to our "Mailbag!" segment at [e-mail]. Have you checked out our amazing sponsors yet?? If not, we don't know what to tell you except to go do it. Cryptocurium is a fantastic monthly subscription box full of handmade art, and Seventh Church Ministries (http://seventhchurchministries.wordpress.org) is a publishing house (nay, publishing hospital) that puts out beautiful works of creepy art. Let them know you heard about them from us, okay? Please also consider logging into iTunes and rating/reviewing us. It really does help other people find us, and that's so awesome. Thank you to those of you who have done it already, you are completely the best.  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hey Katie. Hey Alan. How are you? I'm doing all right. Good. How are you? Um, I'm dead. today. How are you? Um, I'm dead, Katie. Oh, you're dead. Oh, I'm dead. Oh, you're dead. Yeah, I'm the... I'm the... Living dead. Oh, fuck. Yeah, it's kind of a bummer. For like, for how long?

I mean, I don't know, like I wasn't this way when we recorded shivers, but I am now. So when I went to the bathroom? Sure, a week ago. Okay. Right. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've. I've. I've been in your bathroom for a week, which has been really upsetting Missy. She wants to talk to you about it. Yeah, I, um, I died while watching the movie Queen of the Down.

Oh God, I'm so sorry. No, it just sucked my soul out of my body and I died. No more will, no, no more will to live. No, no. Oh, and I didn't write out a wheel either. Well, I guess I'm live undead. You really can like, you know, take my stuff yet. I'm still here. No. You might want to just record your will here, but we'll get to that at the end of the episode. Are we putting that in the, in the, in the liner notes? But it's nice. It's nice now because I'm rich, because I'm rich.

Because apparently if you're a vamp- Or is it rich in monies? Oh no, you, this velvet smoking jacket I thought would let you know that I am... Oh shit, where did you get that? I didn't even notice you were wearing it. Oh, that's because I moved in bullet time and ran and grabbed it and came back. I can't wait to talk about that. So, uh, welcome to another episode of, well, I to. I'm an aristocratic vampire. I can do what I will. I don't think that's going to be great for the show for you to ignore me. But oh my god. Well, listen, I guess that's this episode. We're here to talk about the film Queen of the Damned, starring Rest in Peace, Alia. This was a posthumous and release for her. Yeah. I'm kind of glad on one level.

What? And she didn't have to see this movie. Well, you know what's interesting is... I wish she had seen this movie. I wish she was the whole lie. Yeah, it's a terrible thing to say. Yeah, she was 42 years old but she was 22 years old. to make him Yeah. It's her brother. It's her brother and they like used basically some sort of auto tune to make him sound more feminine. Oh wow. Yeah, because it's similar like voices

but... So he had to do a shitty French accent? What the fuck was she doing? His accent is more pronounced than hers too, which I noticed as the movie. Yeah. Although she has like 15 lines. She doesn't show up until like fucking an hour into this movie and I was like where is really oh gorgeous do you remember where you were when she died I don't know I didn't have the the attachment that you probably did I did yeah I had been at college for like three days and she died I was had been drinking with some like new friends and I was like trying to be cool you know and we were in the hallway of our dorm and the the the the the the the're having a vigil for Leah and this girl was like oh you're funny and I was like I will cultivate this I will be funny. Now I do this podcast. Yeah so thanks the Leah. Sometimes it's funny thanks Leah. No it's horrific she was 22 years it was a plane crash right yeah yeah I think they had too much weight on the plane and the pilot doesn't th. th. th. that was that was that was that was that was that was th. that was th. th. th. th. th. It was like th. It was like th. It was like th. It was like the the the the th. It was like the the the the the the th. It was a thi. It was a th. It was a the th. It was a the the. It was a thi. It was a thi. It was a thi. It was a thi. I was a th. I was a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was. It was. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. It was a th. I was a th. I was a th. I was a the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I was. I was a the. I was a the. I was a the. I was a the. I was a they had too much weight on the plane and the pilot, I wasn't say the driver, the pilot was like on cocaine.

Fuck. Yeah. That is, that is. She had a very sad life too for a lot. I mean the R. Kelly thin was very terrible. Oh, I don't know the R. Kelly married her when she was 15 and like, they were married her when she was 15 and forged on, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. That is, th. That is, th. th. th. th. th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. thi. thi. thi. that, was like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that is like, that is like, that is like, that is like, thatulled and then afterwards she would like never speak of him and like if asked about it she would just be like I'm not talking about that. So everybody who thinks our Kelly's funny? Yeah it's so shitty because I hear like you know remix to admission I'm like I love

this song I hear I'm a flirt and I'm like I love this song and then I'm like, oh you're a monster you're a bad guy. Big fan of sex in the kitchen, but I can't anymore. I can't justify it. I know. But if you took out every, if you stop listening to every song that was written or performed by a monster, you have like almost nothing left. The Osmond's. The Carpenters.

The Carpenters? You've got um... Jars of clay probably. Phrush. Shit. So I don't know, like, yeah. It's, well, whatever. So, God rest for Eliasol. Beautiful woman.

Beautiful voice. Yeah, she had all this timblin and missy songs. Yeah, God damn. She was great. She was melin and missy songs that, god damn it. She was great. She was at her hair over one eye, which I really liked. Yeah, yeah, I think that in this movie, like, seeing her full face, so I was like, whoa. A little startling, yeah. More forehead than you'd think. Yeah, like a good idea until you live it. No, it does not. It has never seemed like a good idea. I can't wait to die. I think this movie seemed like a good idea until they made it.

Well, there's a burn. Sick burn. Let me get you some aloe. It's just like, it's on for an hour and 40 minutes and none of it makes a lick of sense. Nothing happens? Nothing happens. I was like sort of enjoying the part where he, like the back-in-time part where he was back with a, what's the guy's name, Marius? Marius? I was enjoying that and then I was like, oh god, it's gonna go back to the modern age. Oh no! Can I, at the usual once once once once once once once once once once once once once once once it's once, that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I to th modern age, oh no! Can I, at the usual once per episode, I do an Alan Oats himself? I like this. I am a big fan of interview with a vampire.

I've never seen it. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a star set cast. I will watch Tom Cruise do just about anything. Like drive a race car. Drive an airplane? Just drove by?

Brad Pitt is phenomenal in it in terrible, terrible Brad Pitt ways. Yeah. Kirsten Dunst. Little baby. Yeah, and really a sad, like, she's the sad counterpart to, what is it, Horace from, uh, near dark. Yeah, the today's the same really Horace. It was something like that, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi., which is not a movie. Before Sunrise. This is his name really Horace? It was something like that, right?

Yeah, I don't know. I hated that character, though. I know you do. I hate that character. I just want to punch him in the face. She's sort of the sad version of that little kid. Yeah, I didn't really saddened. that movie in all of its terribleness. You know what that movie I feel was missing though? The musical stylings of Corn? Fuck you Jonathan Davis.

Is that the guy's name? How do you know that? It's the singer from Corn? How did you know it? Because his name is all over this movie. Oh, I didn't see it. Oh, I just was blanking. go for it. So the vampire Lestat has been asleep for a hundred years because there was nothing new to interest him or some horseshit. Oh is that why? I thought he was just, okay go on. But he's laying in his crypt and he hears a new

sound that he has to get involved with which is new metal. Yeah. Jogunk. Gunk. Gug-gunk. And the thing is when he hears the riff. it sounds like if any of you watch sports, and I'm guessing, probably a lot of you don't, but let me, some of you might, because... What are sport? It's like a ball that you do stuff with. Whenever they'll be going to commercial, particularly in like football and also in NASCAR, they'll sometimes just pipe in like generic rock music that's just a guitar or like, da da da da da da da da da da. You know what I mean, th. That, th Yeah, it sounds corny as hell. It's terrible. Not with a K. Oh boy. And then they're also just doing like close-ups on like nipple rings. Show you how extreme these folks are. I had a niple rings in college. Did you really? I did? It's the way you sound like they were just like they were like. It. It. It. It. It. It was like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like they were just like they were just like. It was like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like like like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like like like. It's like. It's like. It's like like. It's like like like like. It's like like like like. It's like like like. It's like like like like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. they were just. they were just. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It nipples. Yeah, I had them. Oh. It was a terrible decision. Yeah, that seems like it would hurt.

Yeah, I feel that it's different times, too, which is like, well, I'll just do it again. It was a dumb idea. You were exploring. You were exploring. You were exploring new avenues, much like this rock band. So he's awoke in and flies their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th where this band's practicing and lays across their amps, which they have so much equipment. It's insane. Oh my god, yeah.

Well, there's eight people in this band. He lays across their equipment and goes, Oh! It's just that vampire lounge pose that is repeated in so many things. It's like, you know what it is, it's lying on your side with your hand propping up your head and one leg bent up. It's Bert Reynolds on the bear screen screen. Exactly, exactly. Exactly. Burt Reynolds is a vampire.

Yeah, probably. Probably. He's just like talking about how he's, it's like the worst publicity stunt ever. He becomes the front man of this band. And he literally says he starts giving away vampire secrets. Vampire secrets. I quote, I quote, vampire secrets. And then, yeah.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Jesse? Jesse. This is our, our, our character that we can identify with. I guess. It's Marguerite Moreau, who I love from What Hot, American Summer. Yeah. And she's, even, she's very funny in it, and she's very funny in the Netflix reboot that they did. I haven't seen it, but okay. Oh, it's funny, I like it.

She's terrible on this. Well, come on, she didn't. She's the most bored. She's like the fifth, the craft. No one has seen those. Everyone in my age has seen those. Okay, something cool. Let's talk about something cool. What is it? Try to find one. What is it?

The talent mosaic or whatever, the occult group? Really want to be part of an occult group. Oh, sure. They all wear a lot of flowing, like taffeta clothes. Yeah, and they have like the dark wood bookshelves, like a leather chair to read your occult books. It seems like it smells musty but in a pleasant way. Yeah, like maybe like pipe tobacco or something. But they're like a do-nothing occult group.

They just want to watch, they don't want to like... They're just the grosso in the corner that wants to watch the's another good thing about it. We are introduced to some women going into Lestat, Lestat? Lestat? I say it all both ways into him. And the one girl says to the other that she's heard. They keep girls in the basement and they give you food and cable and weed. And I was like, it's pretty much the dream. And you just say you just have to suck on your the neck the neck the neck the neck the neck the neck to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to suck on your the neck on your to the neck on your the neck on your their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooomomomk woe tooomom woe tooom woe to some women women women to some women women to some women to some women to some to some women women to some to some to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their women their women their women their women their their their their the and the and the and the and's pretty much the dream. It's pretty much the dream.

And you just say he just has to suck on your neck every once and well. I've done worse than that. Yeah. Stuart Townsend's not bad to look at. He's easy on the eyes. I find him to be a pinch-faced wah-baby. Sure, but he's a vampire. That's a all vampires are. Just so pinchy. Have you seen the only lovers left alive?

I have, of course I have not. Of course I have not. It's a Jim Jarmush movie. We're Tilda Swinton and the guy who plays Loki. Why can't I remember his name? In what? In the Thorpe movies and in the Avengers movies. Just the most popular franchise in the planet right now. I thought th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I thi. tho-I tho-I've tho-a' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi., like, just the most popular franchise on the planet right now. I thought maybe you meant that Vikings show

on the History Channel. People really like that. I do. There's no Loki in that. There's a flokey. Oh, I've never seen it. Tilda Swinton and Tom Hiddleston. Oh, he's like Megan L.

the old, Ta. Taylor Swift? I don't know. Oh he was born in 1981. Oh then they're probably pretty close in age. Okay. Yeah. I guess they're probably she's probably like within five to six years. Whatever. Whatever. Well her album was 1987 so I have to believe that's the year she was born. That's not bad. He just has that crinkle face boy too. But they... Is he a pinchy face whabby? They play vampires who live in Detroit. they're they're they're they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like they're like their their they're like their their their their th. They're like th. They're like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I's th. I's a th. I's a pinched. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm a th. I'm a th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm probably. I'm Detroit and they're like kind of rock and roll as well. And I just, but it's done a little bit better than this because it's Jim Jarmush. Jim Jarmush. It's gets better every time you say. Yarm you.

I just kept thinking about that movie while I was watching this and I was like, well, that's, at least, it's still, the rock and roll- the rock, the rock, the rock, the rock, it's still, the rock, it's still, it's still, the rock, it's still, the rock, it's still, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th........ But, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. But, th. But, th. But, thi. But, th. But, th. But, th. Yeah, it's extraordinarily stupid. It's extraordinarily stupid. And he like, awakens this queen, Akasha? Yeah, Akasha. Oh, who's Alia? Alia. I wish they had just called her Alia. I wish they had too.

He awakens her with his violin playing, which translates to him singing with the voice of corn later. Like, how could, if you were an amazing violin player, how could you settle for just being a vocalist in a new metal band? Did you watch this with subtitles on? Yes, I did, because Amazon is so quiet. I feel like I can't hear anything. If I'd known it was on Netflix, I would have watched it on there. A week later. A week later. A wink in a week week. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to thi. to to to to to to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. th been in the bathroom the whole time a wink in a week the lyrics to his songs so silly that's I haven't known here somewhere like I can't believe you have left me alone you fucking alone me fucking yeah like so dumb

I've never been a corn boy I've never been into that stuff. So like, I didn't know if maybe you were in an age bracket where that stuff would have been... No. You're, I don't know, Motley Crew or something. It's just like, how could you have been alive for centuries and not be able to have a a better grasp on the language than that? Yeah. I feel th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I didn't th, I didn't thu, I didn't thu, I didn't thu, I didn't thu, I didn't thu, I didn't tho, I didn't thu, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't th. I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I th. I want to be the, like at one point his fucking manager who's Grosso, Grito-McGuido said, says, you're bigger than Elvis.

I'm like, no, a new middleman is not bigger than Elvis. No, no one has ever been bigger than Elvis, I don't know. Michael Jackson, maybe. Maybe, but we don't talk about him anymore. No, we do not. is terrible. Like it's just so he's like I just have a thirst for things. Dude we all have a fucking thirst for things that's why we're alive. That's a very literal interpretation when I was saying but yes yes we are all thirsty. It's just. Apparently Anne Rice has distanced herself from this film saying that like it was a bastardization of her work.

I've never read an Anne Rice book. No, me either. I don't care. I just do not care. I know people love them. Sure, great. I doesn't mean I have to care. No, it's, I mean, I'm sure they're fine. Although I read that recently all like 17 books of this series or whatever, yeahthe Vampire Chronicles have been licensed for film. Like someone bought the rates to all of them. So... Doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it. Oh my god, like I have all day. You know?

Well, luckily we never have to watch it. I have five pages of notes on yellow legal pad. It's very official seating. More like you're going to a court talking to the the end. I did this at work. I watched this in my office today. Literally like every fifth note is where the fuck is Alia?

Because where the fuck is Alia? She doesn't show up until like so far into this movie. So apparently his whole thing is that he's trying to find Marius again, Marius. Who is the person who turned him? Turned him, and seemingly they have a very affectionate relationship with each other, but because he fucked up and drank Stonealia's blood, yeah.

He couldn't be with them anymore. So Marius took Stonealeo away. I liked Marius. I thought he was working very hard for this part. Yeah, he's rocking that Caesar cut and making it work? Like, he's doing it all, yeah. He really was. He's also out there at one point, just like Bob Rossing it on the beach, painting that like, did you see that?

I did. I did. know that he's back on the scene because he made a painting of Lestat on stage. Oh right right right right and it's um it's absurd but oh so his thing seems to be to get Marius back in his life he's like revealing these secrets and then it like turns out that he wants to fight all the vampires in the world. Here's a thing if you ask me the motivation of any character in this movie I cannot tell you what it is. Name name name. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. me the motivation of any character in this movie, I cannot tell you what it is. Name one person. I don't know. She wants to be a vampire.

She doesn't want to be a vampire. She wants to get into a war, but she doesn't want to get into a war and she wants to be with Lassau. But she doesn't know why. He has this journal but then it seems like Marius is going to kill him at the end. I don't know what David wants. He just wants to look at vampire novels maybe. I think he's a fan boy so he's okay. Give me another. List up. Oh I don't know. He wants to be in a new metal band maybe and he wants to have everyone look at him, but also tell the secrets of vampires, and also be with Alia but then not be with Alia.

The drummer of the new metal band who has that tattoo around his nipple, the sun that everybody got in the 90s. He just wants to smoke weed and listen to 311. So I know what he's doing. Oh, man. Also, every time someone gets bitten in this movie, it sounds like this. It's like the most over-dramatic bite sound. And not a lot of blood.

No, more blood, please. What does this movie rated? I know, I'm bad. Okay. I guess we haven't gotten to the ratings yet. I don't be... I don't think it's an R because there aren't any boobies in it no or two bad words I don't know I don't think so yeah for it no

I don't think so I know I think it might be in some of the songs I don't it's definitely in the lyric yeah you fucking left me alone yeah dude you from the 18th century or whatever like be a little more eloquent get over it bro a serious that he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to to the to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the the th Get over it, bra. Seriously, that too. He does use the word gall in the lyrics once. Yeah. Okay, so we bite stone Alia and then Marius is like, there's this weird, he sees this weird vision, which I have no fucking idea what is. You sees it again later, I still don't know what it is. So when Alia was, before she was turned into stone,

she was, her and her king were just devouring the entire earth of humans. They were just like rampantly eating everything they can get their hands on every person. And that's what that scene is showing you, just like the butchery that she's doing. But it's just like, it's like you're watching CC television. tele television TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV like, you've seen the oldest of things.

And I was like, stop talking about things. Talk about, like, call them what they are. You can't just say everything is, you know what I mean? I need some concrete ideas here. Yeah. Specificity. Yeah. It's the I don't know. Speaking in motivation, what do you think the

vampires from 30 days of night would think of these vampires? Oh my god, I would love to watch the third days of night vampires rip these vampires into shreds. These puffy-shirted vampires? Yeah, it's very twilight, even though it's like, you know, it was probably an influence on twilight rather than vice-versy but yeah it's very like if they had started like glittering at one point I would have been like yeah that's fine what they do yeah because he gets to walk around in the sun at one point well it hurts him and then he can walk around in the sun even though nothing changes between hurting him and walking around in the sun So maybe that's how it works. Leah had eaten like 500 people.

It's very thin for having eaten so many people. She's not even bloated. Imagine drinking that much blood and just having like super flat abs. I can't even eat Chinese food and have flat abs. You know what I mean? I'm sure I have them somewhere. Also, there's like a scene where all the vampires are playing bongoes, but there's just like new metal playing and I was like, this is not what they sound like.

Did you get stoked when the, awah, so on my disturbs started playing. What? Da da da da da da da. No, I don't. Quick aside, have you heard that band's cover of Simon and Garfunkel's Sound of Silence? No. Are you dropping it in here? No. Look it up yourselves.

You want to hear it? Find it. It's fucking awful. I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is. Because at the end he's like, is the sound of saloo. I mean, just like, what are you doing? What song do you think is covering?

Simon and Garfunkel rolled over in their graves. Oh, the goldfish? The goldfish from my past, my shadow. They rolled over in a toilet. Oh. The note on the top of my third page says, this movie has been on for 45 minutes and I am still waiting for something to happen. Yeah, you're still waiting for Leah to show up.

Yeah, it's just like, and the dialogue is so lazy. Like, they're having a concert. The band is called the Vampire Lestat. Calm the fuck on. Because when he shows up at the band's practice and they're like,, your voice, Who are you? I'm the vampire-lestat. And there's the voiceover of, I decided just to lay it all out there, break all the rules. I hate him. Because he's a rocker.

I hate him. He's not. And I hate him. He doesn't play an instrument anymore. violin. That would be pretty good. So like David is trying to talk Jesse out of going to this concert because he's like all the vampires will be there trying to kill him like what for so how do you know and second like shut up and third he's like you're too obsessed we have not seen her be obsessed we have seen her read the diary and then decide to go to the concert. I just Oh shit so baffling that no one is talking about the same things in this movie.

They're all having separate conversations. Yeah. No one has any reactions to anything. No. No. Everyone's just stone-facing the entire film. Can we talk about the eyebrows that are waiting to kill him at their their their their their the vampires that are waiting to kill him at the concert. They are all on flake. They are deep.

All their brows are just like, they're amazing. They're cartoon angry brows is what you're saying. They're like Kim Novak, like drawn up in the middle of their forehead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, before the concert we see him listening to his own band, which I find to be very to to to be shows up and he's like, they're talking about Elvis again, right? Yeah. And he's like, I can't believe you wore that red smoking jacket through the 50s, you missed Elvis,

whatever. But wasn't he asleep through the 50s too? Didn't he just fucking wake up? Yep. I just got so dialogue, too. It didn't, they didn't need that in there. It did not drive the plot. Nothing drove the plot because there was no plot.

Was Elvis the only musician they had the rights to talk about? Yes. He also missed that on the red-hot chili peppers. Also if he came back in 2002, he got right back in it. He was California caning all over the place. Here's another note I have, nearly a goddamn hour in and still no Alea. It's ridiculous. And then, oh, there she is. Looking awesome.

In her first scene, she like ripped somebody's heart out, takes a bite, and then... Like to everybody on fire. Yeah. Why? Why she's so bad? Because she's cool. She's cool. She's cool. She's the coolest character in this movie, by far.

But like, why is she killing her own kind? Why is she killing the other vampires? Am I supposed to know? I don't think that's how it works. Okay. I did like that they all floated away like Japanese lanterns. When they got like little flavors. It was pretty.

Fliffity, flifty, flifitty. Meanwhile, Jesse is like all up on Lestat. Why does sheust him? You're just looking at me, you're not saying anything. I don't have an answer for this other than he's the hot guy I guess he's the hunky vampireman. He's got always a leather pants. It's just so unbelievable. You know? Sure the movie about the rock and roll vampire is very unbelievable. I mean she's like, let me be with you, let me know everything. Like you're not even fucking making an effort. It's offensive. Denver, the last dinosaur was more believable than this.

Yeah, yeah, I'd buy that. Or the teenage-rean ninja turtles. At least they're engaging and interesting. Sure. And action packed. Yeah. Honestly, this just really made me want to watch the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie with Christie Swanson and Donald Sutherland. God, I love that movie. Luke Perry. Luke Perry so good. I love Luke Perry. Yeah. That movie is fan. I never

got into the TV show, but I love that movie. I never really saw the TV. I've never seen an episode of it but I really love that movie. I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really the TV I the TV I the TV I the TV I the TV I the TV I've the TV I've the TV I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the the the the the the the the the the the the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I've the TV. I the TV. I the TV. I the TV. I the TV. I the TV. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to get in the way of us doing that Buffy the Vampires player podcast and wanted to start. What do you want to call it? Uh, vampire ambulums. I feel like that's, that's, that's, that's impinging on us a little bit. So like, Jesse and LeStat break up, I guess. And then she's like, yeah? that, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I th. I th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th up, I guess. I don't know. And then she's like, yeah, because she like gets with the E. He's like, he like, comes around to the idea really quickly that he likes her because she's frail and human and he like storms away having all these feelings.

And she doesn't want to be turned anymore and like they both blood to him. Yeah, with like a safety pin. Because that's the book crazy. Crazy. Yes, so he abandons her. I do want to get back to all the punks that are at the concert later. Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, so but then she's still going to the show. And I'm like, why does she just really love the music? Like, thousands. they. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She. She's. She. She. She. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he's. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. th. th. th. th. th. he. th. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. that. that. that. that. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. to show this huge massive sea of people, just like thousands upon thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people. David finds her. David's like, hey, hey, Jesse, I told you not to come here. They're fucking six million people here. 2002, new metal concert, not a single pair of Jenkos. That is unfathomable.

Do what I saw in the wild two days ago? What? Jankos. We're at? Up in the North Hills. That's a good place for them. Yeah, like totally shoes be gone, jencos. I'm glad.

I'm over the skinny jeans shit. Vizer on backwards, tank tap and giant jenkoes. younger. Okay good so they're doing it. Because it's good. Well better than it's not my age doing it. It's not a good look. It looks like you have tree drunk legs made out of denim. I like it. I like it. That's my Janko reaction. Yeah I mean it's just like the crowd of this concert is just like fucking spiky Quincy Punks, Goths, and nobody that would be at a fucking New Metal Concert. No, no, it's like they looked at photos of a sex pistols show and they were like, let's

get them. No, I love movie punks. I love movie punks. You know this about me. Yeah, they were misused, mis love movie punks. Yeah, you know this about me. Yeah, they were out of place here. Yeah, they were misused, misused movie punks. But also in the crowd are all these vampires, right? She weren't hoodies. Two of them like look at each other and one of them goes, find Jesse. Why? How do you know Jesse? I'm not, well there's no way. I can answer that. I can answer that. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. t. to. th. to. the the the th. the th. the the th But we didn't know that at the time. Yeah, they were standing with her. She was the one who said, fine Jesse.

Oh. She said it to old hippie vampire. I liked him. I was sad when he got set on fire later. I bet he smelled like patooli when he was burning. Yeah. Little nag chompah. So the show is confusingly bad. I have the note, this show is confusingly bad. Where is Alia?

Two songs in and there's a full-flown vampire fight on stage. Talk about how the vampires move. I can't, I can't describe it. They fly, but they go, shoo, shoo, zo. Is that a good? Is that a good? It's like, there's like there's ripples, the ripples, the ripple, the ripple, the ripple, the ripple, the ripple, the ripple, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thriples, thriples, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is a, thi.a, thi.a, thi.a, thi.a, thi.a, thi.a.a. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ripples of them. Yeah, it's like they couldn't figure out how to make them fly. You know? It's so dumb.

It looks bad. It looks bad. I think they were like, oh, Matrix, right guys? Yeah, remember Matrix? And then Marius appears to be on his side, which I didn't understand because I thought because I thought, Marius was upset. I they're he made him so he'll always love him. But I thought, okay, see I got confused by that. And then there's at least a beheading, which was cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine. And then a lea blows through the stage and lights everyone on fire. And then grabs will start and flies away hugging him. She says, th you, my Kang. The next note I have says, how is this movie still on? This movie's an hour and 41 minutes long. I was gonna say this is the longest movie we've ever watched. How dare they? How dare they?

Yeah, at least the upsetting shivers came into like an hour. 87, I'm sure of it. Yeah, hour and 27 minutes. Yeah, we were in and out. th. th. th. they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. it like really goes off the rails for me. Because all of a sudden I have no fucking idea what's going on. Okay. Because I sort of, I mean, as much as I think it's stupid that the vampire, Lestat, is trying to make a name for himself as a new metal musician, because he's tired of being alone.

It even sounds dumb when you just say it now. Oh no, the more I say it, the dumber it sounds. Because he's tired of being alone and he's tired of hiding in the shadows. Fine. That's stupid, but I get it. But then there's suddenly, in the last 15 minutes, they shoehorn in this war, in this family? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? It's not even that funny, it's just sad, like... But they made a movie out of it. I just don't understand why this whole... Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, this reminds me of the Pat and Oswald bit about the movie, deathbed, the bed that eats people. What?

Oh yeah, we should do that movie for the podcast. Sounds great. I'm in. And his whole thing thing thing thing thing thing things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi these scripts where he's taking all this time to write scripts and a movie gets made called Death Bed the Bed that Deeds People. And I just think about this movie that doesn't make a fucking lick of sense. But this movie got made. Think of all the scripts that could have been made. I know. And how many people probably toust toubts. And we're like, maybe we should change this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th change th th theadeckeckeatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheathe th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the m m m m m ca. thii mc doesn't thi. thi mc. thii mc-aa the mc-a the mc-a thia. that thia. that that thia. thia. like we have a score to settle and that was like when I just lost my mind like you've a score to settle with who? Alia? Like what? Who are these people? Like what fuck? You had all goddame day to

explain to me and you've explained none of it like I've been watching this movie for three days and nothing has happened and it literally did to tak to the the the they. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the took. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I was like, I guess I'll go see if the mails got in here yet, like, you know, I guess I'll go to the bathroom again. It seriously took me all morning to watch it. This movie was worse than work. It was, like, the phone rang and I was like, oh, thank God. Did you notice, well, yeah, did you notice that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thatea' thiole's thiole??? the phone? the phone? the phone? the phone? the phone? the phone? the phone? the phone? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thatrooma' thatroooooma' tha' tha' tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thatea tha thatea thatea thatea th did you notice that the ticket scalper was Jonathan Davis from Corn? No, I didn't.

I wouldn't know him from my butt hole. I would. I know him from my butt hole. Well, that's some fan art that can be made, right? Please don't. Don't, I mean it. I'll take that out. No, you can leave it in, but the answer is please don't. Oh man. Yeah, he looks terrible. Sure, I believe that. I've never seen the man. I'm 100% agree.

So they're having this like vampire showdown between Lestat and Alia and Aunt Maharet and her pals? Yeah. The other vampires? Yes, the vampires. I don't know what's happened. So Aunt Maheret was raising Jesse, who is aal, who is a-mortal, not immortal, at-mortal. That's all I know. She has this wall of families.

Well, I think that's her lineage or something that's up there? Yeah. That all started bleeding at one point. Yeah, well, because family, is Jesse really related to her? She's her... She got... Maharet apparently got turned after she had given birth to- to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, that's, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th., th. th. She, thi. She, thi-a-a-morte-a-a-s, that-a'-s. Right, that's-a'er. Right, that's-a'er. Right, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, She's her She got Mararette apparently got turned after she had given birth to Jesse's mother So that's why Jesse was still human and then Jesse's mother got killed somehow I Think well Aunt Mahorette got killed by alia? or got turned by alia, so she must be very old so that doesn't makethat doesn't make any sense. No I think maybe that's all the people there are all these lines since then. Okay. But like do vampires have babies? Probably in this movie. Didn't they in Twilight? Oh my god yeah they do. I never saw it but I know for fact that she has that baby. Yeah, because it's got a dumb name

that a bunch of people have named their kids. Really, people need, it's a renaisma or something? Yeah, people name their kids that, that's horrible. Why do you hate your kid? Just don't have it, if You're, no, go on. They kill Alia by sucking her last drop of blood, which also kills, what is it, Lena Olin? Is that the woman who's playing Maherette? I don't know.

She turns into a statue, right? Yeah, a beautiful statue. But also Alia kills a bunch of them by setting them on fire while they're eating her blood, and the baby-buttahah....... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's, they's, they's, they's, th. thi. thi, thi, thi, th. th. What is, what is, what is, what is, what is the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. What is is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. What is th. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. L. And, thi. And, thi. L. I thia. L. I thia. L.a.a.a. L.a.a. thia. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. But as she's not able to turn the baby-faced like rock and roll looking guy because she's lost her power at this point. Suddenly he's supposed to be like our protagonist I feel and I'm like I've never seen you before. One of the last lines in the movie, yeah. He looks like he should have been in Trickster. So yeah and when they killed Leo's like she was the only likeable character in this movie. This is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is a this is a this is a the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I the the last. I's like. I the last. the they. I's. the the the last. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's like. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. the. the. the. the. tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt the. I'm. I'm. I I was like, gosh, she was the only likeable character in this movie. This is a bummer. Yeah, I don't know who I'm supposed to care about.

I don't care about anyone. No one. No one. I don't care about Jesse. I don't care about Lestat. I guess I judging from having seen interview the vampire in this movie, I think the whole Anne Rice thing is,

like there's the older vampire who turns somebody, because Tom Cruise is a listat in that movie. Okay. Real pretty, I bet. Yeah, beautiful. And he turns Brad Pitt, who's like, And Bradford is like rebelling against him the whole time. Okay. So Lestat had rebelled against Marius. I see.

So it's like that's her thing. It's like the new young vampire is always upty. Because kids these days and no one respects their elders is what Ann Rice is saying in this scene. My last notes are what what what fuck you? And then leave David alone why does he go back in for David why is marries going in for David David David is just a guy seems like a dilweed like academic like maybe was just going in to hang out hello David because that's the last line in the

movie is hello David hello David tha David tha David that's that's the last line in a. I'm like from Enzino man. I don't know what that is. I love it when she calls me David. Hello, David. You've never seen Encino, man. That's the sad moment in your life. Is that a Polly Shore? Yes, it is. I've never seen a single Polly Shore movie. Buddy. Does he wease the juice in that one? Yeah. That's where we're whizing the whiing the whiing the whiing the juice the juiceing the juiceing the juiceing the juiceing the juiceing the juice the juiceing the juiceing the juiceing the... I'm doing the hand thing too. The guy always grossed me out. I, uh... yeah.

Didn't you do a Polly Shore marathon a couple years ago? Yeah, Polyshoreathon. It was the worst day of my life. Because we'd done rock-a-thon and ram-a-thon, both of which... What are those? Rocket-a-a-than, the-beth, the-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, the-s-s-s-s-s, the-s, thi-s, tho-s, tho-s, tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the-s, tho, tho, th-s, th-s, that though. And Ramathon, obviously being all the Rambo movies and then the new one, I'm just telling you. And then Polly Shoreathon, like, by the

end of Rockathon I was pretty much over it. Ramathon was short enough that it was fine. And the last movie is so fucking ridiculous. The body count just, shoot the guy in head with the aircraft. You can't do that. Also, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's, that. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the thi, the that. You just can't do that. Also, that's how many hours of my life I've spent watching stolen movies. But Polyshorethon is the closest I've ever come to killing myself. Jesus Christ. By the end, I was like, I just can't. When he did adopted, the movie where he, like, don't just forget it. Biodome? BioDome is great.

These movies? Son-in-law, Jury Duty. No. Jerry Duty. You've got to be kidding. When I got actual jury duty earlier this year, I was like, is this going to be like jury duty? What the fuck is a movie about jury duty?

Basically he's like gets kicked out of his apartment and he has nowhere to live and he's on a jury that gets sequestered so he like keeps to try to keep the trial going so that he can stay in this hotel and in hi-jinks in Sue. Son-in-law is actually pretty good. Oh, in the Army Now, we watched In the Army Now. We did Polly Shore is dead. It's a mockumentary where he fakes his own death. Oh, good. That was actually OK. Adopted was terrible.

And then I, OK, I'm done. Are there more after that? Jesus Christ. Oh, I think then we watched his appearance on like MTV Spring Break 93. Yep, Betty. Speaking up, I got real stoke when I saw Serena Ultral on the TV. I literally forgot, I forgot she existed. I don't know. Hopefully still doing MTV News. I don't think MTV News is a thing anymore.

I think they're just like, hey, did you see this teenager have a baby? Here's another one. What's Kurt Loder talking about then? Kerloader died. What? No, I'm just kidding. Kirt Loader will never die. He's immortal! Yeah, it doesn't that sound like a good idea. No, fuck you, it doesn't. Yeah, let's rate this bitch. Yeah, let's read this bitch. Let's move on to the ratings face. I don't know. Um, oh God, let me think here.

I'm going to give it an F. Yeah, I'm giving it an F. Our first letter grade. Yeah, it's an F minus. It's not even a movie that anyone should ever watch. Is this below the happening? Yeah. Go ship. Yeah, because Go Ship had that strong opening scene. God Monster of Indian Flats. I'd be more likely to watch God Monster again. FU...

... Fuck... ... Oh no, I liked God Monster, but for you to say that. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I'm going to give this a nine. Oh yeah?

Nine as a no, it's German. I mean, it's wretched, right? It's fucking terrible. It's a wretched. It's. I laughed like a crazy person at one point because I couldn't believe I was still watching this fucking movie. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. tho. tho. thuuuu. th. th. thus. thus. thus. thus. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm to to to to to to to to to toeea. I'm to toea. I'm thii. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. person at one point because I couldn't believe I was still watching this fucking movie. It's on forever and they explain nothing. Also you've got Alia in your movie. Beautiful voice, voice like an angel.

Why isn't she singing? Why isn't she dancing? Why is Jonathan Davis writing this music? Yeah, honestly, I can't believe Alia was like, yeah, I'm doing this movie about a vampire who's musical and he's it's fucking new metal and also she like there could have been such a good dance number for her in there oh yeah crazy good dancing yeah she would have killed it did do you see those abs I did God damn it she this try to bids yeah I just um it's tmobes shed too the so I'm a tbill- Timblin produced the soundtrack ever sing to her song to me oh has she really a oh and oh and to to to th. and the to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thus. Oh thus. Oh thus. Oh th. Oh the. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. Oh. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. Oh man. Yeah, I just, um, it's unforgivable. This movie is unforgivable. And it's not even her first movie.

She's been in other movies. Oh, has she really? She was in Romeo Mustie, wasn't she? Don't know. I think so. Let me check that. that weird Alia must that. try and, there's money and

there's shooting. Is Gary Oldman in that movie? I heard my thinking of something else. No but Jet Lee is. Oh no, I do not know that movie. And Isaiah Washington who was in Ghost Ship. Oh, full circle. Got a no from me and an F from you.

Yeah. That's pretty much that. Yeah, the movie can eat one. So what are we doing next week? Oh, next week we're a guest episode because it's our 90th episode. Bunkers. What the funk? We're having our friend Sam joined us for the podcast and Sam's bringing us from 1982 Amityville Horror to The Possession. So that should be awesome. Yeah I'm looking forward to it. It's gonna be fun. So you know what else is fun? I don't. That's weird me either. By I do. Now I know a lot of things. Let me list everything that I think is fun. Okay go first. First I would sayo Karas, parcel of terror. I'm so surprised you said that. What is the parcel of terror, you ask?

Katie, what is the parcel of terror? Oh, so weird that you ask. I wasn't expecting that either. It is a monthly subscription box you can get from our friend Jason who makes amazing handmade stuff. Amazing. You've heard it. You know it's worth it.

Alan's wearing one of them as a pendant, it's that pizza. You know it's like, flave-a-flave. Anything you want to make out of it, you can make out of it. You know that it's worth your $35 a month. Yeah. You know that it is. We've we've we've that. We've that. We've that. We've that. We've that. We've that. We've that. We've that. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it is. We've that it is. We've been. We've that it is. We've that it is. We've that it is. We've that it is. We've that it is. We've that it is. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've that it. We've th. We've th. We've th. We've th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. thi. thi. the thea. thea. thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea' thea', I love Queen of the Dan. I love Alia. Yeah. So when to get in there, the baby laugh. Dirty, nerdy, nerdy. D-da, nerdy. Nurti. Yeah, and you'll laugh like a baby when you open a cryptocurium.

I'm thiu. I'm the to thi, you, you, you, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, thi, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.................. thi... thi. thi. tod. tod. tod. toda. today. today. today. today. today. today, today, today, today. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. And, CRY, P-T-O-C-U-R-I-U-M, and it'll make Jason happy, it'll make us happy, it'll make Alia's ghost happy, it'll make everyone happy. Let Jason and Alia's Ghost know that you heard about it from us. Yeah, God rest her soul. You know what would give her great rest though? What? Seventh Church Ministry is publishing hospital. Mike Bukowski puts out these amazing zines and on July 29th I'm assuming at 11

a.m. Eastern. I don't know why I feel like it's super important that I tell you that every week. Art by Ellie Gill and Michelle Dugan called the living and dark undead the art of J.R. Tolkien. Like they're interpreting J.R.R. Tolkien stuff. In a dark way. Mike sent me some awesome looking prints from Alan Brown and Dylan Garrett Smith that are going to knock your socks off. I can't wait to see all this. This is going to be awesome socks are gonna blow up. Yeah I mean don't even wear socks just like go without. Oh god what if you don't have socks on or is it just gonna blow your feet off? Yeah so if you want to get on that go to seventh seventh which is S-e-ev-e-e-n-e-n-hgggnech church ministries dot word word-ss dot wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo and that and that and that and that and that and that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that's dot that that that that that that that that that that that that that thei? thei? the the they. the the the the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. that th. th. that that Pick up what he's thrown down. He'll show you what he's working with.

Yeah. You could see his past releases and stuff there as well and they are all worth checking out. They're totally amazing. Yeah, I don't know why you wouldn't. Thanks, Mike for sponsoring and thanks Jason too. Thanks Jason. Give them your money and tell them that it's from us. Yeah, for sure. Do we have anything for mail bag this week? No mail bag.

Fuck you guys. Just getting. Read that letter again? Oh, no, I can't because I kind of cried in the last episode. And I just, I feel like nobody can compete. A set of stuff and we'll read it on the air for mail bag. You can get to us at where-off ambulance at Gmail.com. I've been really good about checking and responding to things. We're on the Facebook. We're on the Twitter or whereby-lands there.

Too many characters. We are a werewolf ambulance at Instagram. Yeah, you know where to find us. If you have a second, can you jump on to iTunes and rate and review us? It helps people find us. We need more people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to iTunes and rate and review us? It helps people find us. We need more people to find us because we gotta sell t-shirts. Yeah, guys, t-shirts are almost in the works.

Listen, every couple weeks we take one step closer and then one step closer, so we're gonna get there. I wish I was better at getting shit done, but I'm terrible, so. I just have like, mental problems. Yeah, me too. Yeah. So once we overcome those hurdles we will have T-shirts and hopefully some other cool stuff. Yeah, we're gonna get some things happening here. And uh... Mostly because we need the income. Yeah. And we know because we need to send us the income. Yeah. And we know what? I'm worried about that because I feel like that's where you get anthrax as in a P.O. box. I mean, you can just send us cash. Don't send us anything. Hopefully we'll have a P.O. box too. And you can send this awesome stuff. You know what? I'm wary about that because I feel like that's where you get

anthrax is in a P.O. box. I have, they're like first couple albums. They're good. Yeah. Fiftful and metal? I have, um, I like that song. That's a song. I don't know what song that is. Can you. Can their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't like th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like. I th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Anthrax. Hold on, let me look it up. These are important things that we should cover. Like, oh, it's looking down the barrel of a gun. Son of a gun, son of a... Yeah. The Beastie Boys song? Yeah. It's seven minutes and 43 seconds.

Oh, good gravy. That's a long song for next Anthrax cast. Thrax cast. I don't really want to do any Anthrax podcast. We don't have to do that. I like have nothing to say. How about if they come back next time for another episode of WhereWolf Ambulance? Oh, thanks, we'll sing to this one. Yeah, thanks, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. I've got to get the dirt.