Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 9- Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Episode Date: December 22, 2014

In this episode, we celebrate one of the very few Christmas movies worth mentioning: the 1984 holiday spectacular "Silent Night, Deadly Night." Some topics of discussion include PUNISHMENT, extreme stereotyping of Italians, a low bra count, things you should and should not say to children, shitty nuns and lots and lots of talk about taints. Does this movie help to turn Katie into less of Scrooge-like jerk about Christmas? You'll have to download the episode to find out! We hope that you enjoy this episode and that you have a safe, happy and axe-wielding-maniac-free week. Happy Holidays from your friends at Werewolf Ambulance!  Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast. 

Hello and welcome to another episode of Werewolf Ambulance. I'm Alan and I'm here with my co-host Katie. Hi Alan. Hi Katie, how are you? Good, how are you? I'm doing really well. We're here tonight to talk about the movie Silent Night Deadly Night? Yeah. Christmas classic. Really feeling the holiday spirit in here. Yeah. Ho-ho. Italk about the movie Silent Night Deadly Night. Yeah. Christmas Classic. Really feeling the holiday spirit in here. Yeah.

Ho, ho. It's the holiday season. Punish! I really, I know it's been established on the show that I am hard of hearing and I always think people are saying the wrong things, but I kept thinking he was saying, bonus! I why I think I might need to check get my hearing checked yeah he was just a side effect of this podcast he wasn't leveling up or anything bonus plus one acts so this movie seems to be the the brain child of director Charles Selleier,

who's best known for writing and directing the Grizzly Adams TV show. Oh, wow. That's a fact. Yeah. Okay, I've never seen the Grizzly Adams TV show, but I have heard of it. It existed. It was a thing that happened. Yeah, I don't know why you would have ever seen it or her. It's fine.

Yeah. It was a very family-friendly TV show. It was very like, it was for kids basically. Sure. This movie, however, is not for children. Not for children. It's barely for humans. Barely for eyeballs, barely for people.

And I loved it. Yeah, I did not take a single note. I didn't even open my notebook because I was so busy loving every moment of this movie. Oh, I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah. I, as a general rule, Christmas makes me want to, not celebrate. It makes me want to, yeah, do terrible things. Much like our protagonist protagonist And then he might have been the antagonist. Yeah may's mostly yeah But this was a you know a Christmas movie I could get behind. Yeah, it's a good antidote to the other Christmas fodder that were yeah, like, sorry you're gaining so much inexplicable weight Tim Allen like I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Well, I don't, right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, I the right. Yeah, I the right. Yeah, I the right. Yeah, I the right. Yeah, I the right. Yeah, I the right. Yeah, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. I might. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Tim Allen. Like, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit.

Right for the Tim Allen jugular on that one. Nice. Yeah, that's really all I have. Good. I was afraid you were going to take to, like, you know, an actual good Christmas movie. Name me, an actual good Christmas movie. You were worried and now you have nothing. Yeah, no I do. I mean I've got nothing locked and loaded. There are some. I mean like I like National Ampoon's Christmas vacation. I think that's a classic that you can watch and enjoy and it's funny. Yeah. A little crossover to this movie because I thought the mom looked like Beverly C. Angelo. Oh, too good. You maybe cough laugh out of that one. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. No. I don't. No. I don't. No. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. No. I don't. I don't. No. No. I don't no. I don't no. I don't no. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't. I don't th. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I don't. I don't. I th Oh, too good. You may be cough laugh out of that one.

Um, I guess, is anything else good? No, nothing else is good. Well, I mean, the Charlie Brown Christmas. That one's pretty good. See, I did, I promised myself I wasn't going to do this. I was going to stop raining on everybody's Christmas period. And yet, here I am. No, I think this is a safe space to do it in. All right, so, uh... So this was a Christmas movie that I felt like I could watch year after a year and just really get my mileage out of. This movie is mean.

This is a mean-spirited film. Yes, yes, it really struck a chord in me. A really nice cord. It's so mean that it, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, thiii-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. It's th. It's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi., thi.a. It's thii. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi, th, a really nice cord. It's so mean that it, I think it veers into black comedy almost. Like it's so over the top. Yes, a whole heart. But it's still like, I don't think that tongue is planted firmly enough in the cheek that it's still like, oh, this is just mean. They're just angry.

I don't think there, I mean, there were, their, their, their, their, as far as Billy, the main character goes, I don't think he was entirely comedic. I mean, I don't think that he, he was not, he was not funny. No. I mean, the first, I would say 20, 25 minutes of this movie were heartbreaking. Yeah, so quick, we'll try to do a quick rep up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the the m. the m. the m. the the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the the m. the m. the the the the the m. the the the the main the main main main main main main the the the the the the the the the the the the the main the the the main the main the Yeah, so quick, we'll try to do a quick wrap-up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even not my normal meandering wrap-up of a movie, but so, Billy's family goes to see their grandfather or his grandfather. In a mental institution. Yeah, or a home or something, that's not really explicit. I think it's a psychiatric facility. Oh, okay. You're right. You're right. I think it does. And grandpa is catatonic? Until the parents leave Billy alone with grandpa who has a nightmare head?

He has a nightmare doll's head of a grandpa's head. Yes, it looks like it's pasted onto his body. So, yeah, grandpa turns to Billy and basically gives him a, you're all gonna die speech? Yeah, because Santa Claus is gonna come and kill you for being naughty. Santa Claus brings to children who have been good all year but he punishes the naughty children. Punish! Yeah, which is great, totally. Yeah. Vengeful, that's basically the concept of crampus, right? Like vengeful Santa...

Yeah, really into it. But, wow, it's really brutal when this guy lays this down on this little kid. Yeah, yeah, it's great. And then after that, he goes back to being catatonic when the parents show up again. And then they're driving home, see a Santa Claus on the side of the road, and everybody gets murdered. Yeah. Both parents are murdered. Brutally murdered. In front of Billy's little little baby eyes. Little baby eyes.

I have to watch the whole thing. Seeing his little, little, yeah. Well, you see the Santa Claus rob a convenience store first, and then later we see him on the road with his car broken down and he shoots the dad in the head and then our first attempted rape of the movie? Kind of a bummer. Real bummer. Yeah, and flits mom's throat and it's pretty brutal.

And then they flash back to it like at least six times in the movie. Oh, patting. Yeah, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. And th. And that. thatting. And thatting. thatting. the. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And thatting. And that. And that. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the. And the. the. the. the. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat. that that. the. the. And the. And the. Oh, padding. Yeah, they're stretching that. They're getting the money so I'm out of that scene. I realize that her middle initial is not D. And I'm really messing up this joke. But I'm gonna ride it for the rest of this podcast. So then we flash forward to Billy a little bit older of a child in a orphanage with a really nice nun. She's super sweet. She brings Billy to hang up his Christmas picture on the wall, which I wish I could get a copy of. It's Santa filled with knives and a decapitated reindeer. What that reindeer did to anyone, I am not sure. He wasn't. He was, he was naughty. He's a today. He was naughty. So the picture gets him sent to Mother Superior. Mother Superior is awful. They always are. She's a ter terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible. She's a terrible. He's a terrible. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the to a th. to a thi. to a gets him sent to Mother Superior. Mother Superior is awful. They always are. That's a terrible, terrible person.

Yeah. Having the word superior in your name just makes you an asshole, I think. Is that true? Yeah. I don't know anything about this one. If you had the name, never mind. I don't need Superior to be an asshole. And there you have to. So, yeah, some beatings and weird sex rooms ensue.

What was that room that those two kids were just fucking on a bunch of mattresses? Oh, I think they were just teen, orphanage teens. Yeah. I think they were just- Because everybody else of the orphanage was nine. Yeah, I think they were just words of the orphanage. It took me a little bit to figure that out. I I I I I I I they they were just teams. Does this orphanage just have a sex room? Yeah, I don't know why they had, I don't know, I do not know about the mattresses, but,

yeah. Yeah, it was weird. It was weird. It was weird. Was it as weird as the hairy ass-cracked? Yeah, we're getting off to the people that were having sex. Because they were naughty and needed to be punished. Right, and so was he for coming out of his room. Yeah.

And then we... She says something like, punishment is necessary. Punishment is something. Punishment is good. She does sort of turn into, she turns into pinhead at one. Yeah, it gets very hill razor. She gets out this little puzzle box and it's, I don't know, that didn't happen. So her whole thing is to use punishment to heal Billy, which... to make him a better person and to make him be able to deal with Christmas better. Right. So the next scene is Billy being forced to sit on Santa Claus's lap. Kee the thuze murdered this this this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho tho thux, I tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thu thu thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to tho to scene is Billy being forced to sit on Santa Claus's lap.

Keep in mind, Santa Claus murdered his parents in front of him. Not five years prior. No, no. No. And the nuns know this. They know his story. Yeah, yeah. But she's going to cure him through violence.

Yes. Healing through violence. And it doesn't go well. Billy sucks him. Coldcocks Santa Claus. Bloodies the shit out of that dude's nose. It's awesome. And Santa goes, what the? Yeah. And Billy runs off, it goes into a quarter and started shaking, rocking back and

I'm sorry. And he's sorry for being naughty. It was, that was like it just kept mounting the sadness up until this part. It was really depressing honestly. And then they do some sort of weird face melt to older Billy. Who looks like a Ken doll? It's a very handsome gentleman. He's like real tall and real jacked. It was like a football player he's super ripped. Yeah. Billy getting a job at a department store, a toy store, a toy store, we can all see where this is going to be going. Yeah, in the Christmas season,

a great place for a person who fears and loathed Santa. Yeah, that nun was not thinking when she got him a job there. Maybe the post office would have been made? Yeah, or just anything. Yeah, anything. Yeah, he could have worked anywhere in this little town in Utah. Anywhere. So, Billy's a really great employee, until as it's getting closer to Christmas, he's getting a little bit, but what did the guy call him? He said he was turning into a moon goon. A moon goon that was spoken by his co-worker.

Andy. Andy. Who was a man of, a diminutive man to our heroes, giantism. Yep. Say what you want to say about Andy. He was short. Alan doesn't want me to call him Little Guido, which is what I was referring to a month throughout the movie as. Oh, did I say it out loud?

There it is. So... He was just a stereotypical he was wearing a polyester collared shirt tucked into slacks with like shiny shoes and he had his hair combed back and he was wearing a gold chain and he was never doing any work I'm sorry but it was just a stereotype. It really was he had his feet up for almost the entire film. Yeah. But he was constantly yelling at Billy for not doing it anymore. And gesturing, gesticulating wildly with his hands.

Oh yeah, talks with his hands. Yeah. They're, they're a flamboyed people. That, that they are. Katie is telling. So the little Guido sticks it to Billy sticks it to Billy. I was going to say Ben. It's almost like he's concerned about Billy that his work ethics been going down. I think it's just because Billy does all of Little Guido's work was my understanding. I think that's probably what it is. Billy is also at this point in love with another co-worker whose name I don't

remember. I don't think they ever even said it. It doesn't matter. So the female coworker and he's got the hot to her her her her her her her her her her the the the the the the the he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's the the the the the the that's that's the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's the the the that's their. that's their. that's that's their. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I's th. I's th. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. thi. the. thi's got the hot to her and that part of his moon goonness is just staring at her. Yeah. I'm going to stop saying moon goon because it might be offensive. It's, who knows? I like that we're worried about being offensive when I'm just referring to a character as little guido. I'll stop.

I think that's probably what he was originally written as in the script. And they were like, listen, we can't do that. As it gets closer to Christmas, Santa Claus breaks an ankle, the guy's playing Santa Claus at the store, so they need someone to fill in for Santa Claus and the only candidate is Billy. Why could Little Guido have done it? I'm sorry. I just said I wasn't like this extremely fit individual. It's really a seated job too, you know? Yeah, yeah, I agree. It's really a plot holo there.

So Billy is the best Santa Claus I've ever seen, because they got to a seat of a little girl squirming on his lap. So upsetting. And he just keeps going, what are you doing? You're being naughty. Nony people get punished. I'm gonna have to punish you severely. What? Doing that thing that I don't think people do anymore, talking through their teeth to people? What? Which was a staple of my childhood and I don't see it enough anymore.

Yeah, it's threatening a child with punishing. This is not a nice movie. No. And everyone's standing around going, oh, he's really good with the kids. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it seemed like all the moms were kind of giving them the whom-wow. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess.

I guess. Like a Ken, their today. So they get through Christmas. They, they, their. They survive Christmas, like I guess Christmas Eve. Yeah. And then... It's a big retail crazy day, I guess. So at the end of the retail crazy day, you pull out the bottle of J&B and you throw that up on the counter and everyone starts getting drunk on scotch, right? Yeah. That's what I did all the time in my retail jobs. We got drunk after work. No? No, I don't do that. I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that I that I that I that I that I th. th. th. th. th. th. that I that th. th. th. th. th. that that that that. that that. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thee. the. they the. the. the. the Oh, I don't know. I wish I had. Seems legit. Oh, we should stop here and talk about how amazing the toys were at this toy store real quick.

It was 1984 and they had some sweet shit in there. Oh man, there was Java's palace room. Yeah, all kinds of smirf gear. Some wicked cool Halloween costumes like to the too-sklaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu too-a too-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a th th too-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-a thu. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu. thu. thu. thu. thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. th th th th th you sweat to death Halloween costumes. That they had out on Christmas Eve because what if you needed them? Well, you needed them next to the blow-up Easter bunnies that were on Christmas Eve. Very weird selection of things. Ira's toys was just, it was a little off the rails. But no, there was a, there was the mouse trap game that both Katie and I had. Yeah, really good stuff. It it. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was, it. It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the the pretty dope. I think you said you would have you would have cut a kid from this piggy puppet that was in this movie? He said that yeah. All right. This is

again where I'm a human monster. No that's why his children were all monsters. No I I mean now. Oh you cut a kid. I would cut a kid now. Yeah wait. So Billy has what I'm assuming is his first drink. It looks like he had never had a drink before. I'm chilling in that orphanage all this time. And then this is what makes Billy snap. Well no, it's what sends him on the road towards snapping. Yeah, I think it was a...

So then Katie's friend, Andy decided to put the moves on Billy's love interest and by put the moves on we mean attempt to rape her sure she's into it for a while I mean I mean which is what upsets Billy I think at first because right because they go off together yeah which I think is probably like the straw that breaks the Santa Claus back right and then Billy walks into the back room the the the the the the the the straw that breaks the Santa Claus's back. Right. And then Billy walks into the back room, sees the attempted rape going on, and this- I didn't mean to sound like a rape apologist.

No, no, no, no. I was doing a plot explanation. Sure. Just really, really wanted to clarify that. No, no, no, I think, yeah. I back you up on this one. Great, great, good, sure. Can we just stop putting rapes and movies? Can that just end? I mean, I mean, it's just, oh God. So Billy sees this going on and then has a prolonged flashback to his parents' death and then walks over and strangles little Andy to death with Christmas lights.

He just wraps them around little Andy's neck and then picks little Andy's neck and then walks over and strangles little Andy to death with Christmas lights. He just wraps them around little Andy's neck and then picks little Andy up by the, with his huge Delt's strength. Yeah, his quads were bursted. That's not what a quad is. He was really blasted his lats. Closer. Muscular chair. There you go, you an anatomy. 101. Where willf ambulance you're an anatomy. 101. Wherewolf ambulance were you get all your info.

God, I hope not. So he kills a little Andy, and Love Interest Lady is totally bummed about this. Yeah, you think she would be more like, thanks for stopping him from raping me? But I guess she was like, maybe you didn't have to murder him with those Christmas lights. It's very confusing. And Andy's all like th th th th th th doesn's th doesn's th doesn's doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn doesn's say doesn's say doesn's say doesn's say doesn's say doesn't say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say to say to say to say to say to say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say th say anything to say anything to say anything to say anything to say anything to say anything to say anything thanks to say anything thanks thanks for to say to thanks to say thanks for thanks for thanks thanks thanks like maybe you didn't have to murder him with those Christmas lights. It's very confusing. And Andy's all like well I just thought and he doesn't say anything because Andy is no not any idea I'm sorry Billy. Yeah and then Billy full-blown snaps and kills the love interest with a razor knife. Yeah that he puts in his pocket which will come back up later. Yes and then he just to start hunting everyone to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. to. Yes. to. Yes. to be. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I. I. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I. I. I. Yes. Yes. Yes. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I Yeah, he kind of just goes off the rails. He doesn't, everyone deserves to die now, I guess.

I guess everyone is naughty, because they were drinking after work. And I'm not sure if this is like, I had a supposition that this was a Utah thing, because the movie was all shot in Utah. And so as soon as alcohol becomes involved, everything goes to shit. And I didn't know if that was like a little Mormon dig or something. I wasn't sure what was so weird. Because then the next person he goes after is his employer. Who was really cool to him.

Yeah, who would like give him a job and seemed to be, I mean, he made him be Santa, but but he didn't really make him he said, he said, he's to..... He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's a. I. I. I. I'm so, I'm so. I'm so. I'm so. I'm so. I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm so. I'm so. I mean, I mean, I mean, I'm, I'm so. I'm so. I'm so. I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't, I th. I wasn't th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I wasn't th. I wasn't th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. th th th th th, yeah. And then he talked to him about his dead parents. And he was like, super sad. Yeah. Like, he was just drunk. Yeah. But he was also like, it was a stressful job. He had a stressful day. And he got drunk at his job. So then he got. It's sweet. And then he had-

And that was when I stopped being on Billy's side. Well, three deaths in is when Billy gets cut. He's out. You're not going to put him on the team anymore. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's fair. And then he, there's the nice lady that works in the store that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that he that that that that that that that that that that I was really mad about that. Yeah. Because she was super didn't deserve it. Didn't do shit to shit. Didn't do shit. She was just like, I'm drinking this when I'm hanging out. Just wanted to party. She went to party and we're a silly hat.

Thought you might have gone home with the guy who owned the place. I assume they were. Is that what it sounds like? Yeah, is that what it sounds like th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that what it sounds what it sounds what it sounds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that what it sounds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that what it sounds. that what it sounds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. So then... So then... So he's killed everybody in the store. And the nun shows up to see how Billy's day was at work. Yeah, well she is like her? Did she hear somehow that he was going to be Santa Claus? Yeah, she called and Andy. Little Andy told her that he was... Oh, right. It doesn't work in the table while he's telling her this on the phone, too.

Oh, I don't have a job. So, the nice nun shows up and, you know, Andy's gone but there's a bunch of death, Billy, God damn it! God damn it, Billy! Noddy! Punish. Bonus. So there's a bunch of death in his wake. So then he peels out and the nuns all bummed. And then Billy just shows up at some Randolph's house,

which is two kids making out on a pool table as you do. And one of those teens is fucking Linnea Quigley. I love Linnea Quigley. She's in this movie for like four minutes. Really bummed. She should have, but they wasted Linnea Quigley in this movie. Yeah, she, yeah. Well have you seen Return of the Living Dead? Nope. Okay. She's uh, she's in that movie and she was one of my childhood crushes. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She did a horror-themed themeed workout tapepe-oh, th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. She's, yeah, th. She's, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. theaa. thi. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. She's thi, themed workout tape because it was the 80s. She is notable in this movie for not wearing a bra because the bra count in this movie is zero. I don't even think the nuns are wearing bras. But she was the yeah yeah yeah I don't know I didn't check out the nuns' boobs so I'm guessing zero. I'm guessing that they like had them on at one point and the directors were like nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no no

no no not gonna fly here. So everybody just rips open their shirts and like no matter what they're wearing underneath she was wearing a cardigan. Yeah but the tiniest cardigan I've ever seen it was like a shrug. It was like a shrug. It's still buttoned, you know? But she was also wearing the most useless pair of shorts I've ever seen. They were a diaper. They were a gen diaper. They were a denim thong. Yeah.

And it is winter in Utah. And she put on the denim thong shorts to go to the door to let the cat in, but didn't put anything on her top. No, it was it was it was it was it was it was th th th th th th th th the the the th. the the th. the th. thu. thu. thi. thi. thu. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoes. thoom. the the thoes. thoes. thoom. thoom. toe. toe. toe. toe. tooom. And she was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu. And she. And she. And she. And she. And she. And she. And she. And she. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And the. And toea. And toea. She was. She was tea. She was. She was. She was tea. She was. She was. She was tea. She was toea. She was thea. She didn't. She didn't put anything on her top. No, it was very strange. So then she dies. And Billy comes to the door and chases her around the house, and then lifts her up for the best kill of the entire movie. I think this is probably the best kill we've seen yet on Weirwolf ambulance. I think so. Because Billy lifts up Linnea Quigley and affixes her to a deer head in the middle of living living living living living living living living living living living living living living living living living living living in in in to live in to to to the living living living living living living living in to the living in to the living to the living to the living to to the to to the to to to to to to to the to her to a deer head in the middle of the living room. Yeah.

And it's amazing. It's really well done. Like the special effects look awesome. I think you might have said this is gross or disgusting. Probably. Yeah. It is pretty disgusting. It was cool.

It was well done. Then he pushes her boyfriend who looks just like the kid from karate kid. I swear to to God it's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's theea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thea. It swear to God it's Johnny from karate kid. It's not but I swear it is. Didn't you say he was in footloose? He is in footloose but I don't I don't I don't think that's what I know I'm from. I think it's Johnny. And then he has he's leaving the house after killing fake Johnny and pushes him out of a window. And pushes him out a window and causes all the glass from the window to stick in this guy this body. He runs into Linnea Quigley's little sister and hands her, asked her if she's been naughty, she says no, he gives her a Christmas present, which is the bloody razor knife that he put in his pocket earlier. Yeah.

Not appropriate for a child. Not a great gift. I've got some really shitty Christmas gifts over the years and like that is not that does not even compare. There's some other random kills. He kills a kid on a sled with an axe. That was pretty sweet when the kid was sledding down the head, hill with no head. Yeah, it was a kid, it was a bully who had taken the sled from another kid and he was just sledding down the hill and the today the head to the, the, the, the the, and the the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the too, and too, too, too, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod, tod, the tod, tod, tod, tod, tod, tod, tod, the, the the the, the the, the the the the, the the, the hill at like approximately the same speed that the sled is going, so they arrive at the bottom of the hill at the same time, which is pretty excellent. Excellent use of physics. Yeah. And then-

It was really just a kill collection for a little while there. Like these characters have no bearing on our ultimate plot. And then he's off to the orphanage. Do you think he was just like, uh, do th. Do th. Do th. Do thi, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, th. Do, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, excellent, the, the, excellent, the, excellent, the, excellent, the, excellent, the, the, excellent, th. Excellent, th. Excellent, th. Excellent, th. Excellent, th. Excellent, th. th. th. th. Excellent, th. th. Excellent, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, excellent, thi, excellent, excellent, thi, thi, thi. Excellent, thi. Excellent, thi. Excellent, thi. Excellent, thi. Excellent, thi. Excellent, excellent, excellent, thi. Excellent, excellent, thi, thi. Excellent, thi, th, ugh, barely kill Mother Superior. I get bonus. It was after like all the random kills that the cops were like, well, we know what his next move is. Yeah. What the fuck do you know what his next move is? Why didn't he go there in the first place?

And why didn't you think to look for him there in the first place? So I can't fathom what was happening. And there was like a weird scene in there too where like, the police are out looking for a Santa Claus and they pull up outside this house where there's a ladder going up to a second story window and a Santa Claus is like pushing through the window and they like bust in guns of blazing and run up to the second story bedroom. And it's a Santa Claus going into a little girl's room and they flip on the lights and it's the little girl's like daddy and it's like a

dad breaking into his daughter's bedroom he dresses Santa I don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I think that was sort of setting up the next kill which was the cops going to the orphanage, seeing a man dressed to Santa Claus walking up to the kids in front of the orphanage. You mean deaf Santa Father Christmas O'Brien? Which is how I have his name written down here from our kill list. He's shot dead by the cops in front of the children. Yeah, no one seems to apologize I mean the cop seems remorse. Yeah but he's kind of pissed at the

nun for yelling at him as well. Yeah. So then that cop gets killed and as you knew he was going to. Officer Barnes mustache? He had it coming. He gets hit in the chest with an axe. That's much like every other weapon in this movie, just sticks in his chest for a while. Yeah. And then Billy goes in to kill Mother Superior, and all the kids are really happy to see Santa Claus. Yeah. But he doesn't.

No. The other cop, who was introduced like very late in the movie. The lead cop? Yeah, the detective. Just like comes in and shoots in and the the the the the the the thia thia the thia thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. He thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeee to thi to to thi thi.. thi thi. thi thi. thi. the like... The lead cop? Yeah, the detective. Just like comes in and shoots Billy and he's dead. Not until Mother Superior starts channing Santa Claus does not exist in front of this room full of children. Which like, I don't know, like, I kind of wanted to see Mother Superior get hers, you know? Of anybody in this movie who was naughty, right? Like, of the people who were naughty, I'm sorry, I'm just looking at my kill list here............. And to, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the, th. the, the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, th. tttttttttttoday, ttttoday, tttoday, ttttoday, ttoday, today, the, thi. thi. thi. the people who were naughty, I'm sorry I'm just looking at my kill list here. Yeah. People who deserved to die. She's probably, her and Little Guido I think are probably the worst offenders. I'm sorry, Little Andy. Right. Little Andy was a rapist to be and mother superior was a piece of shit. Yeah. Like everybody else was just like a, maybe a drunk. I mean the bully was kind of a jerk but like kids are kids are to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die. She's to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to die to And mother superior lives another day. Yeah. To. Well, to. Well as we see. to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. Kids. ki. ki. Kids. Kids. ki. Kids. ki. ki. Kids. ki. ki. ki. ki. Kids. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. Kids. Kids. ki. Kids. ki. ki. ki. their relationship. Yeah, they're being naughty. They're being naughty. And Mother Superior lives another day?

Yeah, to, well, as we see, to turn another kid into the next killer. Yeah, the final shot of the movie is Richard, a child in the orphanage, looks at Mother Superior and goes, naughty. And that's the end, which is fine. It was pretty good. And then this terrible, terrible soul Christmas song starts. Yeah, Santa is creeping. I don't even remember how it went, but it was weird.

So that's that's the entirety of Silent Night Deadly Night. It's a weird movie in that you're kind of following the bad guy from something bad happening to him and feeling really sympathetic to him to then him being like the bad guy you know the baddest of bad yeah yeah but then also like him kind of wanting him to kill mother superior at the end it's a really kind of conflicting in that way right not to really break it down here to break down silent night deadly night into the good and evil in us all. It does seem like it's a movie that's maybe, it's a little smarter than it seems at

first, like at first blush of it, because it's fucking ridiculous. Like the tagline of the movie, what it first came out was, you made it through Halloween, now try and survive Christmas. Ah, I like that. So this movie when it came out was met with a ton of resistance. Like it got pulled from the theaters because it came out in December. Nice. I love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. Ruin. I'm trying really hard not to do that this year but. And so the ad campaign was a chimney with Santa Claus's arm holding an axe hanging out. Yes. So all these parents' groups came out and protested it. Protested it.

I like the idea of parents' rights groups, too. Parents' rights! Isn't that what they're called? We will beat our children. Uh, two of the biggest... We'll take our children to mental hospitals and leave them alone with grandpa if we want to. I like the parents sound like Catherine at Byrne. That's not bad.

So two of the biggest people who hated this movie were Siskel and Ebert. Oh, naturally. So they reviewed this movie. Bet they loved the Santa Claus though. Oh, look how fat Tim out is. After they reviewed the movie and rebuked it it it it it it it it, and and the movie it, and the movieed it, and the movieed it, and the movieed it, and the movieed it, and the movieed it, the movieed it, the movieed it, the movieed it, the movieed it, the the their, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they Felt him out is. After they reviewed the movie and and rebuked it, they then read the names of the people who made the movie saying shame after every name. Yes. Yes. Which only made more money for this movie because they re-released it later the next year in May

And it was yeah, yeah And I think it did really well because the ad campaign was now everyone's shit talking this movie right Right and they were able to do that exactly Do you know that this movie had four sequels? I had no idea there's just they went all the way up through silent night five Wow see that's? I feel like they? That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thi thi thi thi the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. thi thi they thi thi thi th, that's, uh, I feel like they, yeah, that's really, right. That's cutting it, that's cutting it too far. But who's ever heard, I knew there was a two. You never saw him. No, no, no, I never.

I'm assuming it picks up with Richard. Yeah, Ily Night 2. This podcast will... Richard's Revenge. This podcast will exist for exactly five years until we all do all the sequels to... That will be done. Silent I Deadly Night. That's fine. At that point, what else is there?

Well, there's a really weird scene in this movie where Billy is having a fantasy about um, going to Poundtown with his female co-worker, and there's like a, sort of like a, a soft focus sort of Vaseline lens. Uh, taint scene. Well, I'm just getting there. There's like, uh, like a slow pan from his feet in a bed, up his legs, to his butt, but like his legs are slightly separated and you just see this like huge tuft of brown hair coming from his ass crack like it is oh you're you're reacting like that but you watched it you saw it there is just like all this like massive hearing it described though just this massive it looks like I can't even there's nothing I can say that's not discussing but that there was there was enough missing hair in the area

that you could make out his taint yeah his tain his legs were a Kimbo enough that his taint was a visible entity I wondered if the actor the actor like watched the the final cut of this and was like like like like that that that that that that that that that that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thaint was a visible entity. I wondered if the actor, if the actor watched the final cut of this and was like, that's my fucking taint, what? They said you couldn't see it. It was hard to look him in the face after that, I felt. You know what I mean? It was hard to like, I was, you know? You would see in his secret shame. Yeah.

It's like after, if you like first start dating somebody and then like you see them throw up right away or something like that, and then you're like, I just can't. That's kind of what it felt like. Oh, I just love that. This poor man's taint is equated to someone barfing in front of you. I'm not tryingtrying to body shame him but it was just too personal. It was beautiful. It was too beautiful. I wouldn't say that. It was just too personal. Yeah, it was yeah it was poor editing on their part. You didn't need to know Billy that.

You just think that you would think that a PA or someone would go over and just like push his legs close a little too taint there. the. th. th. the. th. th. to. th. th. to. th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. tho. ta. thin. th. ta. ta. ta. ta. It was just just just just just just tha. It was just just just just just tha. It was just just just just just just just just just just just. It was just. It was just. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. tape. tape. ta. ta. It was. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. It was just ta. I was just ta. I was just ta. I was just ta. I was just just just ta. I was just just just just. I was just. It was taint there. Let's just see the curve of your butt cheek, which is the light hitting it. That's exactly what they want to see, you know. Sex cells, right? Taints don't. Let me tell you what. Taints don't. This is why this is not a movie for children. There's taint.

Yeah. Plus that it ruins, it's. Yeah, and a lot of them are like not enjoyable tits because they're like rape tits. I mean like Linnea Quigley's boobs are like They're just out. Yeah, you can look at her boobs with like If anyone knows Linnea Quigley's uphra they're they're out. Yeah, for sure But a lot of the other boobs are a non-consensual boobs. Yeah, which is not more so I saw this movie years ago and I didn't remember it being Quite as sexually violent as it is Really is so that's really the downfall I think for me in terms of this being the only Christmas movie I can ever love Am I a monster? No, real quick. Well, I mean there's black Christmas? I never saw that oh, you should see black Christmas. It's awesome. Well, maybe next year Um, listen one at a time right? Right? th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th thi thi thi that thi thi thi thi thi thus is th is th is th is th is that is that is that is it is that is it is really is that is that is that is that is that is that is th is that is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi there's Black Christmas. I never saw that. Oh, you should see Black Christmas. It's awesome. Maybe next year. Um, listen, one at a time.

Right. And Christmas Evil's really good, too. Nope. There's a lot. Santa Claus flies away in the end of a van. Um, I'm going to, I'm going to pose the most awful question. I'm gonna give this movie a seven. That's good. Yeah.

It's despite the sexual violence. Yeah. It's a solid movie. It's fucking ridiculous. It has great kills in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's fun for the most part in a really fucked up way. It's like Christmas. Fun for the most part in a really fucked up way, it's like Christmas. Fun for the most part in a fucked up way. Yeah, this is my favorite thing that we've watched so far. I, um, it has, yeah, it has a lot of things that I really like, which is a high body count. No, that's it. No, I'm just kidding. Linnaea quickly.

A plot that I felt like, a plot, it had a plot. So that really was something that had going forward over some other movies that we've watched. Looking at you a god monster of Indian flats. It had, you know, characters that weren't one-dimensional, I feel. And the acting wasn't bad. The acting wasn't bad. And it was a Christmas movie that I didn't hate, which is really like, really saying something. Eight.

Whoa. Yeah, that's pretty high. Yeah, I think you gave an eight to, you gave an eight to stitches. Did I think I'd give a 7.5. Okay. I want this to be higher than stitches, so 8.5. No, I'm giving an 8 because I really do think I give stitches a 7. Okay. All right, well, if you, we hope that you all have a very happy holiday season. Hope that you don't go ape shit and murder people because that's not awesome. No. And Billy does end up getting his, so please note that you will get yours if that is bonus.

Punish. That is what you end up doing. Please don't. Please do, however, go on Facebook and like us. Wherewolf ambulance ambulance on there? You can send us an email? Wherewolf ambulance at Gmail.com? Where, where be lance on Twitter? Mm-hmm.

There's a Tumblr out there. If you tumble on to that. What is that? It's just Tumbler. to come back. Or forward slash, you'll figure it out. Yeah, slash is snake pit. Oh, I, it. It, it. th, it. th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. thuwa. th. thoom. Where, where. Where, where. Where, where. Where, where. Where's. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. Where. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Where. th. Where. th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th slash, you'll figure it out. Yeah, slash is. Try both. Oh, sorry.

Oh, no, I just said slash is snake pit, so you can probably edit that out. That's it for another, another issue. What is this called? Another episode of wherewulf ambulance. How? How? How?

Thanks so much for listening. Bye. Happy holidays. No, no, no, bye. you know the today