Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Re-release: Episode 104- I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

Episode Date: September 6, 2021

Hi EMTs, Katie here, holding down the fort while Allen takes a bit of much-needed time off. I had suggested to him that I pick a few episodes to re-release that could use a bit more love, so I'm starting off with what is probably my all-time favorite: the 2007 Lindsay Lohan spectacle "I Know Who Killed Me." Guys, this film is the greasy pizza-shaped stain on the sidewalk of cinema and I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I loved discussing it with my pal, and I am loving sharing it with you again. It's absolutely, utterly, nonsensically insane in all the best/worst ways. I hope you enjoy it. Love, Katie

Hey Katie. Hey Alan. Oh, I might look like your friend Alan. I'm not Alan. Oh, who are you? My name's Brock. Yeah, I'm a male stripper. Come from the bad side of town, moms and drugs and stuff.

Oh, the moms and drugs and stuff side of town. The other side of the tracks one might say. But I'm just going to do this podcast with you because I'm going to assume the life of your friend down. Where's your hand? Oh, your friend's trapped in a house somewhere and somebody's chopping off his hands and I'm losing them at the same time? I'm Brock the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the other the other th. I'm the other the other the other thoes the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the the the the the the the the the the other. I'm losing. I'm losing. I'm losing. I'm losing. I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tri. I'm triac. I'm triac. I'm triac. I'm triac. I'm tri. I'm triac. I'm triac. I'm tri. I'm the other. I'm. Hey Brock nice to meet you. What's shit? Oh that's real messed up. Yeah it is. I can't keep this going. I'm so sorry. That's fine. That's better than the intro I had planned which was oh no my fingers gone. Welcome to another episode of Wormulff ambulance. You guys I'm so fucking excited. I don't I like can't overstate it. I'm Alan. I'm Gadydy. Not Brock. I'm I'm. I'm the I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm that I'm that's. I'm that's. I'm that's. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. Yeah. G. G. Yeah. I'm that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm th. Yeah. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I'm. I don't I like can't overstate it. I'm Alan. I'm Katie. Not Brock. I'm just Katie. What's your evil twins name be? Kelly. Oh yeah, it would.

Yeah. You would just be Alan A-L-A-N the way everybody wants to spell it. I used to get mad about it. Now I'm like, I just got to let this right now. Your name's Alan. They're all Alan. I get a K-A-T-Y occasionally. It's fine. So we are here to talk about this week a horror movie. It's a horror movie. Yeah, it's a horrific movie.

I know who killed me by the once great. And also, this movie is so fucking timely. I cannot believe this happened because last week, she lost a finger in a boating accident. What? Real talk. Lindsay Lohan was like dropping the anchor of a boat somewhere in Turkey and chain or whatever ripped off the tip of her finger. And it fell onto the dock of the boat and they found it and were able to surgically reattach it. It got something back on. I know know. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. to th. th. th. thi. thi. to thi. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to th. to to to to to to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to toeateateateateateateateateateateateateateateatea. toeateatea. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the boat and they found it and were able to surgically reattach it. It got someone back on. I know, life imitating art, am I right? Holy shit. I know. I saw it on Instagram because whatever. And I was like, everything is full circle. I feel like we

don't even need to talk about this movie anymore. That's just life just became art, became movie. I know this movie's so fucking good. Katie. Yeah by the way guys we're. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, th. I th. I th. I th, th, th. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I the the thi, thi. I know this movie's so fucking good. Katie, by the way guys we're gonna do spoilers in this one. Please watch this movie like just please watch it. Sure. Please, please. Like okay fine don't if you don't want to. No you should. I got to just to start this off I got a text from Jim Robinson in front of the podcast. Hi Jim. Congrats on your upcoming up Shoals. Oh yeah. Well they be married by the tennis comes thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th. th. they th they they the they they they they they they they they they're they're they they're the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the thooo. tho thoooooo. thoo. tho they thoo tho tho tho tho tho tho a text from Jim Robinson, friend of the podcast. Hi Jim, congrats on your upcoming upsholes. Oh yeah. Will they be married by the tennis comes out? No, no.

No, no. Well, I hope it works out. Wink! He's marrying Sarah from the Rosemary Day, yeah. Yeah, good for them. Those crazy kids. and it says, I'm turning off Poltergeist to watch, I know who killed me. Yes, Jim, you're so mad right now. Why didn't you finish Poultrgeist? I don't know.

I don't know. Oh God, this fucking movie. I'm like, I'm actually sweating. Look at this, I started to sweat. I'm so excited. Winner of eight Razzie's this movie. Yeah, yeah. Okay, let's get into it. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. I'm like shaking. I gotta preface this with, I love Lindsay Lohan. I love her. She just- Mean girls fucking A, man. So good. But she also feels to me, and this movie was made during the beginning of her downfall. The bad times, yeah. She was in rehab for a large portion of the filming. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. thi. to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the th. the th. I, the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. to-a. to-a. to-s. I'm to-a. I'm to to to to to to th. I th. I fall. Yeah, yeah. She was in rehab for a large portion of the filming and then during the promotion she got a DUI and had to

cancel a bunch of public appearances and things like that so the thing I just have this feeling about her that she would be like the girlfriend that you'd go out with and you'd get so fucking drunk and you'd end up and the, the thinne's sidewalk eating like like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the throwing up, and throwing up, and she's holding your hair bag and she's laughing at you, and then the next morning you wake up and you're so fucking hungover and you're like, that, Lindsay Lohan. And that's a friend you need. It's at some points in your life. And I just really feel like I want to be her friend. But there's also got to be the text times where you get that's, I, the text, the text, the text, the text, the text, thex, thex, the, the, the, the, the, where you are in your life, I guess.

So I just have this real affinity for Lindsay Lowe, man. She's wonderful in this movie. She's so bad. Shit. This movie... Yeah, can you, can you synops this for me? It's like the parent trap never happened. Right?

Yeah, Patty Duke, yeah, it's got all those things in it. I don't know what Patty Duke is. Patty Duke was a show starring Patty Duke, where she played identical cousins. That's not a real thing that can happen. Nope. They're cousins, identical cousins. Yeah, no, it's not. The Valley of the Dolls is a great movie. Well, yes, the parent-dra never happened. Yeah, well, adorable child, Lindsay Lohan, meeting her twin. Oh, God.

Well, it kind of happens to the end of this movie. All right, so, okay, this movie's so fucked up. The end of this movie. Which I have some information about. Normally we do no research. I did a ton of research on this movie. So we start off with, oh God, I didn't write down her original name. Aubrey Fleming. Aubrey is reading a story to a class.

A story to a class? It's written like a child wrote it. But she's given the class like, huh? And the class is enthralled. They are into it. Is this high school? College, I think? I don't think so. Maybe high school. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. College, I think? I don't think so.

Maybe high school. I think it's high school. Because she's taking like a camera, I just don't know, I think it's high school. Okay. It's not defined. There's no definition. But she looks old. Sure.

She's having a rough time at this time in her life. And she has she has she has she has she has she has she has a super cigarette voice. Like, so cigarettey. Yeah. Yeah. So she's reading the story, she's wearing glasses because she's very smart and very serious. Ponytail. Yeah. And then we see her, the next scene, we see her, oh, I'm sorry, the story she's reading

is about a girl who looks at her life like a movie and makes things happen. I don't know, it doesn't matter. I guess it matters but it doesn't really matter. Right, right, right. The next scene she's playing the piano with her piano teacher and he's like, you're going to win the next young artist competition. You've already won it once. I just don't want to play piano anymore. Yeah. I've got to focus on my writing. What? Lindsay Lohan? I guess the opening credits are over Lindsay Lohan stripping and blood pouring down the stripper pole. How did we, how did, that's the first of like four times we see her strip. Oh god. Okay, her piano teacher is wearing sunglasses inside and a bright blue pinky ring. But they were, I thought they were like transitioned lenses that just weren't flipping. Oh, maybe. It was real bright bright, the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. Oh, the th. Oh, th. Oh, like, thin low, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh I thought they were like transition lenses that just weren't flipping. They were just... Oh, maybe.

It was real bright in that room. And he's like, he just can't fathom that she would not want to be in the young artist competition. Yeah, it's important. It's important. And she's already won it. So why not win it again? I don't know. The next note I have to have to after young artist competition were the nuts on that hairless cat are the most terrifying thing in this fucking movie.

What? And they show that cat for no reason. That cat serves no purpose. Its genitals are just like sticking a foot off the, like, it looks like a hemorrhoid. It looks like a hemorrhoid. It looks like the rain guard you would put over the tire on your bike here. It's just like gigantic. Like an awning for its behol. It's just crazy.

It's this gross hairless cat and it's wearing a blue collar, which is important to note. For some reason. Yeah, we'll get into it. We'll get there. Okay, so we find out that a girl in her class has gone missing and is later found dead. Yeah. Jennifer Toland. Yeah, there's a serial killer on the loose.

Yeah, well, they asked the policeman if it's a serial killer and he's like, we only got one dead body. All right, sir. Oh, the man had a gerbil of a cough uniform. He really did. And so did you like the scene where they were, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, did you like the scene where they were at the football game and they were like, let's have a moment of silence for Jennifer Toland. Yeah, let's win this game for Jennifer Tolan!

Like Jennifer Tolan fucking loved high school football, you know? Like. I did like that scene very much because it was so stupid. And their uniforms are blue. Oh, the fowls blue. And her boyfriend... The fighting owls? The fighting owls? Her boyfriend who is on the football team has given her a blue rose.

So everything's blue. Oh yeah, and the... She's the fakes looking rose. Yeah, it's stupid. Jared is her boyfriend, right? Is that her science partner who's got the moistest mouth? Like, he's like, he's like, he's he's talking, he's he's talking, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's the the he's the the he's the the their's got the moistest mouth? Like he's just like, what? He's like, he's talking and the camera's like real near his mouth just, oh God. It's so gross looking. I did not notice that and I'm super glad I didn't. I think that's

his name. It doesn't matter, does it? No, no, no. We also already missed the scene where the gardener is like stroking that tree the tree the tree. a nipple tattoo and then she gets in the finger. But after staring out I've been like putting her butt out and stuff like... I don't understand what Aubrey's doing in that scene. I don't know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. And we see him after the football game that's very crowded, everybody's everywhere. We see him just driving down the street DUIing. Right Right. This is supposed to set him up as a possible killer, right? I guess, but he doesn't have anything blue. Yeah. Well, I don't know. Point of order, neither does the piano teacher when we first meet him. Oh, I didn't even notice that. I just noticed that he was wearing a yellow shirt and I was like, this is stupid. This doesn't make any sense. This is the thing thing the th. This is th. This is th. This is th. This is th. This is th doesn't th doesn't th doesn't th doesn't th doesn't doesn't th. This is the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. the the thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the point. th. th. the point. the point. the point. the point. the point. the point. the point. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. that doesn't make any sense. So after the football game, she's like, I'm gonna go find Jared. I'm gonna go find Jared.

I'm gonna find him. And her friends are like, okay. Where do they get these teens that play her friends? They're so shitty. Like when they go to- They at least look like teenager. That's true. When they go to meet up in front of the movie theater, they're like, do where they're caught? It's who's on the street?

Who just screams for their friend in front of the place or so? Like, if you're late, I am not screaming for you, just know that. Alan! It's a thing I sometimes want to do in at like a grocery store if I lose. I just don't feel like like like like like like like like like like like like like their like, Ruh! There's definitely points where his one laid out at the grocery store and wait till someone finds me. Someone will find you, you don't want to wonder. Just like a fucking radio head video and just I'm down on the ground.

Done. Whatever. So it turns out that Aubrey has been kidnapped, I guess. This is where I have the note, this movie this movie is incom compreh compreh compreh compreh compreh. This movie is incom incom incom incom incom compreh. This movie is incom compreh. This movie is incompreh. This movie is incompreh. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. the the the the the tie. the the the the tie. the the tolde. told. to me. to to to too. till now. Oh, it's incomprehensible up till now and then onwards. It gets even more incomprehensible. We see her like tied up on a table and she's gagged and some and these hands pull out a block of dry ice and she's reacting like no God no please. I swear I didn't know the dry ice would like I was like I feel like if someone did that to me I'd be like are we making a movie like are you making a video like what are we doing with the dry ice yeah I didn't know it would burn you yeah but also like my initial reaction would you like what you're doing this yeah what's going on but are you doing this they put these these hands put the dry ice on her hand these blue gloves hands yes and they put like a vice on it so it's like smashing it down to her hand. Let's talk about these blue knives.

Why does he have multiple versions of like a ceremonial clingon blade in blue? In blue like sort of translucent? I don't know. Glass? Here's where this gets even weirder. Is this movie was directed by Chris Sivertson who is one of the directors and the writer of All Cheerleaders Die, which is you know I love sure but remember it had all those like weird gems like to and I was like guy what do you do in? I just love shiny things just love shiny things he's part

crow he's a crow he's a crow it's just I don't know. I don't know. So this movie when I was reading about it, I was doing a little research myself. And they kept, Fangoria was like, this is like stylistically very similar to Argento. And I was like, oh that's bullshit. Oh wait, no, Argento's done a ton of terrible fucking Gialo movies. And uh, and I was like, oh no, this totally fits into his shitty period. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I believe that. So, so he's got her chat.

He puts the dry ice on her hand. She's screaming and then we cut to something else. Her parents, which is weird because her dad's acting like sort of sketchy, or he's a bad actor but second appearance of that guy in a movie we've done what is Alan I was like I know him and I cannot he's in ravenous he's the guy with a weird eyes yeah he looks like a he looks like he looks like he to the tell to the. I know him I know him I know him I know him tho his IMTP page and I was like, never seen this shit. I saw Ravenous. And I guess he's in band of brothers because I remember that being a thing that. Oh, okay.

I was like, I must have seen that. I don't know. Okay, so that's fine. Okay, so that's fine. And that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the the that's, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm. And, I's, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's, I's, I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I guess. I'm th. I'm. I'm. I th. fine actress. I don't know her. Like I, her, she seemed to be a name, but I'm not sure what I've seen her in. But she's like, she's terrible. She's terrible. She's terrible. She's doing an American accent, which I don't think she has. I think she's British. Oh, okay. And for some reason we're being introduced to her and she's being filmed in a mirror holding the cat with his balls. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, she's, she's, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she. She, she. She, she. She, she. She, she. She. She. She. She. She. She's, she's, she. She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's like, she's like, she's, she's like, she's, It doesn't make any, it doesn't ever, you're never like, oh, that's why. I can only assume it was because there's, guys, it turns out there's two of her. So a mirror image. Fine. That's the only, I mean, it's like the hamfisted symbolism.

I guess. There's a lot of a very hamfisted-d-d-a-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-a-d-d-due-a-due-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. I-s. I-s. I-sgooooererernoernoerernoer-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa- realism. Death by Blue Man Group. Oh. And then there's these fla- I don't know. It's just like- Kitty had so many pages of, just these little like almost like three by five index cards of notes. I have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I have eight pages of notes. Let's get into it. So we cut to the scene of a woman we don't know driving a car and she's like,

Stephen Vicky, you're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I'm like, what are you fucking saying, lady? And then she almost hits something, a fox. Yeah, the car, fish tails around and she almost goes off the road, where she, her headlights catch a body in a fox, yeah. The car fish tails around and she almost like goes off the road where she, her headlights catch a body in a ditch. Right. That's the end of scene. Yeah, it looked like maybe the body had crawled out of like a shallow grave. There was like a pit behind the body. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Fine. So the next thing we know we're in the hospital. Don't forget we seem to see where they's removing the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theathea theatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. H. H. H. the. H we know we're in the hospital. Oh, wait, don't forget what we seem to see where they're removing the dry ice and it's ripping skin off her hand, which is really good.

That was really good. I like that. It was really well done. And then it puts like tidy bowl cleaner or something? Like that blue goop. It's blue, it's a sizz, it's a sizzling, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, th, th, the, the, th, th, the, th, the, th, th, th, the, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, th, the, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th., th., th.... We's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. We's, thi.. We's, thi. thi. We's, thi. We's, thi. We's, thi, thi was to heal, actually. It might have been peroxide or something. I don't know. I don't know. Who cares? It isn't going to answer any of the questions we have about this movie. So we're in the hospital with Lindsay Lohan and she's like in and out of consciousness and then we realize they're amputating her leg. Get the orthopedic saw. That's gross and the hospital. Yeah. And she's like missing her right hand from like the elbow down, or I guess, and like her left, or was it her right leg?

From like, the knee down. I thought, I laughed out loud because I thought the bandage that was sticking out. I didn't realize it was her leg. I thought they had bandaged her arm to that degree. She's like not that upset about being a double amputee. She, I feel like you wake up from something like that and your world is shattered. Sure. She's like, can I get a cigarette?

Like, she does not really seem to care. Because she's not Aubrey. She doesn't recognize thaaaaaaaa. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. I I I I I I I I I I I I'm tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. tha. tha. thaugh. thaugh. thi. thi. thiaugh. thiaughea. thagea. thage. thia' is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. She's thi. She's, I's thi. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's thi. She's thi. I I I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thia. thea. thea. I's. She's theaughea. She's thea. She's thea. She's thia. She's thea. She's not Aubrey. She doesn't recognize her parents. No. Who are these people? I'm Aubrey. No I'm not Aubrey. Who are these people? I'm Dakota. Yes of course you are. So they send in a psychiatrist to talk to who I thought was Joe Montanio when I first saw him. I would love that. He's a Joe Montananian impersonator. He really was. And she tells him about her crack addict mom. Which we see in a flashback and I was like, are we having a flashback of something that's not real? Like, I don't know. I don't know. It's very confusing. It's very confusing and she's being very hostile towards the therapist. The dialogue is like shitty Raymond Chandler.

Oh my god. She goes, you're the fuzz, aren't you? I'm like, what the fuck? You're the fuzz? You're seriously, like, I'm gonna put this in air quotes, 17-year-old girl. In 2007, you are not saying that. What he got to say? Seriously. My next note is, she's no orphan black.

I don't know what that means. The TV show where a woman plays like seven characters on it and she's phenomenal. That sounds tedious. It is, but she's really good at what she does. Well, I could definitely tell the difference between Dakota and Aubrey wears glasses. Dakota has her hair down. And she's smoking more. And she'll fuck you like Obrie never did.

Oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god. Also, the mom, wait before we get there. The mom comes in to like see her at the hospital. And they're like not telling the press that they found her yet because they're still trying to find the, whatever, it doesn't, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the, the, the, the, th, th, tho, tho, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, they's, they's, they's, that, the, they's, they's, they's, they's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, torying to find the, I don't, whatever, it doesn't matter. She comes in with the, like some stuff of Aubrey's from home trying to be like, trying to jog her memory. Right. And she's like, oh, they do it for people who are in a coma. And Lindsay Lohan just goes, do I look like I'm in a fucking coma? And I laughed so hard. And I laughed so gross out by her mom's thdy bear voice. Oh yeah, what was like a bad? Little, little today, boy, I like, I will be like, I don't know this woman either.

Then it cuts to a completely gratuitous strip club scene. Oh, shit. She's terrible as a stripper. Like, I don't know. There's no sexuality whatsoever. She takes that guy's cigarette and makes it in her own. Even her vagina smokes how much Lindsay Lohan loves to smoke. She definitely did that right? It definitely would have turned. He sniffs it. Vaginas don't smoke Lindsay. I love what she was down on all four is right before the vagina cigarette scene. She's right up against the pole and just like bumps her butt hole against the pole toys.

Yeah, that was incomprehensible. Like, our dude's into that? I thought maybe she just had an itchy butt hole. I don't know. That's like what the cat does when they've got worms, you know? I don't know. Oh, God. I was so fucking confused. I felt like I was blackout drunk while I was watching this movie. It was four o'clock in the afternoon. I was not drinking.

No, maybe you should have been. Maybe it would have made more sense. There's like a perfect equilibrium of drunk in this movie making sense. And these scenes are all red. The strip club is very red. Everything is red. It doesn't matter, but I'm just telling you. There's no relevance for it.

Yeah, for sure. They were like, eh, Suspireia. Why would you bump your butt hole at that pole? I don't know. So it cuts back to her being Like, from their perspective, this is a teenage girl who, by all accounts, is like a good girl, she comes from a good family or whatever, she takes pianos and she won the next young artist competition. And- She's slated to win again.

She's on the docket to win again. And she's been through a horrible trauma. They say she was gone for 18 days or something. She had been lost theded th to to th. to to th. to to th. to th. th. th. to th th th th th th's been through a horrible trauma. They say she was gone for 18 days or something? She'd been kept for 18 days. And lost two limbs. And lost two limbs. And this has, she's just awoken, like a couple days prior to find that she's a double amputee. They're fucking yelling at her. They're like, stop playing games with us. Like, what are you? What are you? Where is your? Oh, God. It's. They's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's like, they's. their. They're like, their. They're like, their. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. They's. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they's. they's. they're. they're. they're. they're like, they're like, they're like, the. they're like, they're like, their. they're like, their. their. they're like, their. their. they're like, they're like? Like, where is your, oh God. It's like they can't comprehend that maybe a person would be so traumatized that they would dissociate.

Yeah. I think that's probably not that uncommon. No, I wouldn't think. And the therapist, like, she's delusional. Like, come down Montana. I'm like so am like, to be taaa to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be told. to be told. toe. toe. tooom. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. t up right now. I feel like I'm just so excited to be talking about this. One thing I really liked in this movie? Was the scene where they're doing the reveal of her like having sort of a flashback to being abducted?

And there's like, she's at a bus stop and their truck and their truck goes by and you think think think think think think think think think think think think think think think th think think thin thin thin thin thi thi ththe gardener's truck. But like when it goes by it lights up a dude who's like standing like 15 feet away from her in the stone cold dark and I was like whoa that was dope yeah that's one. All right let's go. But then doesn't he end up on the other side of the bus stop it like he moves close and then it just sort of cuts from away from there. The wait's Dakota at the bus stop. She's not Aubrey. I don't think this was a real. I think this was like some sort of vision that she was having. That's the other thing. They don't tell you what's real, what's not what's going on. No, you never find out.

It's like a trick. We'll try to them. told their to be tr to be tr favorite line in the movie, which is probably more than, do I look like, I'm in a fucking coma? When they're questioning her, they're like, we need to find out what happened. And she's like, you think I don't want to know what happened? I wake up, fingers, leg, hand, gone. What?

What? You fucking psychopath? I could not possibly have been written down for her to say, right? I need to get, yeah, that sounds like Lindsay didn't read her lines that day. She was like, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Listen, I bounced my butt hole for you guys. I'm not going to do this. Like, why would she lie? I don't know.

And they're like, maybe she thinks no one will believe her. Like maybe try being kind, maybe then she'll think you'll believe her. Yeah, fucking iced tea pop in and explain. Just be like, I understand. That's a really good ice tea. Thank you. They give her a robotic hand and leg and tell her to you has to charge the leg or else it's gonna run out of batteries. Does not have to charge the hand that is doing way more work than the leg is. It's a really good point. He's like it's like dragging around a wooden leg once it burns out or whatever. Checkoff's leg. Also the only person in this entire movie who is kind to her is the prosthetic guy. It's gonna be your friend. Yeah, but she gets a robotic hand that, I don't know, fucking, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and the.... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the -colored rubber glove, like a dishwashing glove over it.

And then it doesn't really look like that when she's wearing it. It's like, what the fuck? Also like, she is just, I just can't overstate how disinterested she is by being a double amputee. Just does not care. So she goes back to her new parents' house. They're not her parents. She's just insisting she's Dakota Moss, stripper, daughter of crack lady. Employee of strip teas. Yeah. T of us. Yes. And she meets Audrey's boyfriend, or Aubrey's boyfriend. And Audrey, Aubrey, who cares? It matters not.

And immediately. He brings her a bunch of blue roses. Yeah. Which she says, ma, or Julia, not Julia, whatever her name is. Julia. Put these blue roses in some water. Bitch, I can see they're blue. You don't have to tell me you're really driving at home.

Me and a Jared are going upstairs. She immediately starts making out with this kid, this fucking nerd. the. the. to to to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. their toe. thea. tooomea. tooomea. tooomea. their their. tooomea. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they. thea. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. thea out with this kid, this fucking nerd. Because she's slutty, I guess. And then he's not a nerd, he's a football player. To prove that she is not Audrey. Aubrey. Aubrey. She fucks him. you like to fuck you like that. It was just like this is the grossest old man fantasy of a movie we've done. Like maybe the pit surpasses it. Oh my god yeah. But this is so like oh come on. It's like supposed to be a weird comedic relief

scene where the mom is downstairs in the kitchen listening to them. Like lady just go outside you don't have to be right there. Get better insulation. So my house. Also, walk upstairs and go, knock at the fuck off. Yeah, it's your house. But like, oh, yeah. And for some reason, it's midday.

It's clearly midday. The room is bathed in blue light. Why? at her room is blue. Do I, this is a bit vulgar. Do you think the robotic, the robotic hand was involved in any of this? A robotic H.J. Maybe? I don't know. I don't know. I felt like she probably took them off. She certainly wasn't charging them because she's like, keep forgetting to charge these. It's so dumb and such a shoehorned in. You get to see like Lindsay Lohan's side boob at one point and that's the only reason I can

figure it's in there. Yeah but which is weird because she's also doing all these strip club scenes. It's a great time to show side boom. Yeah and she's like almost fully closed inside the strip club. So it goes then the next scene I believe is it back to the strip club. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. the st. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. the. the the the the the the the the to. to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. is it back to the strip club. It's her third routine that we've seen. How many of them do we need to see? How many? None? Then our fucking finger falls off. She is stripping to a Melvin song, which I was pretty stoked on. Yes, our finger falls off and she just soaes it the fuck back on. No, she wraps it up. Oh, that's right And gets on the bus to go home also can we talk about the woman who owns or like runs a strip club Who looks like it straight out of a David Lynch movie? Oh for sure I loved her. I wanted more of her?

Less of everybody else she was actually interesting. Yeah, yeah, because she was what she was nice too, like, she was like, you know, stern, but like when people were fucking with her later on in the movie, she's like, hey, come on guys. Yeah. I'm like, she, I, uh, so she wraps her hand, it's just bleeding as you would when you lose a finger. You should go to the hospital. Hospitals are for rich people. That's another thing. Hospitals are for rich people! That was another

thing the Jim Robinson was real pissed off. Yeah, yeah, I mean, but it's also Lindsay Lohan saying this, it's not like a real person. So she's on the bus, with her hand wrapped up and it's bleeding and she's smoking and I was like, all right, people bleed on the bus all the time but you absolutely can't smoke. She smokes in the hospital. Doesn't, the hospital, the hospital, the hospital. She's the hospital. She's the hospital. She's h h h h h h h h. the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the the the the the th. the th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi on the bus all the time, but you absolutely can't smoke. She smokes in the most, doesn't she smoke in the hospital? She's smoking everywhere, she's smoking in the house, she's smoking everywhere. Oh, God. I also believe that was just Lindsay Lohan said.

Oh, for sure. She meets the bus writing philosopher. What, okay, I want toto explain him to me. Oh, I don't understand. I don't know. I don't know shit about this guy. I don't know. I have the note that says people do get cut. That is life. So he must have said people get cut. That's life. Well, she's, yeah, she's like holding this.

He's, she's sitting there with a bloody hand in her lap. this things. People get cut? That's life. That's life. And then she goes back and fucks him, I think. Yeah, definitely I mean he's handsome. Let's be fair. Very handsome. It's sweet chest tattoo that we say it a little bit. I don't understand what happens there. I don't know. It's like, is it a butterfly? It looked like a heart with wings. Okay. I thought it was a butterfly. that. to the t. t. t. t. t. t. tha. tha. t. tha. tha. tha. t. tha. tha. t. t. tha. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tha. tha. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. he's. he's. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. he's not just doing like some Terry Cruz's like, chest flip it or anything like that. It's just like, it just gets, and then it gets cut open and eyeballs start popping out of it. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Oh? At this point, I do have the note, I'm now thinking the 7% on rotten tomatoes is generous. I'm finding it delightful.

Don't get me wrong, I was having a good time, but... It's terrible. So then she goes to the... Tollynne's parents' house. Why? Wait, we have to talk about this line real quick when she's talking to the dude. Please, please, please. And she says, oh no, no, it's, it's, uh, Aubrey is reading one of her lines, okay, yeah, yeah.

Or one of her stories and she says, it slammed her in the gut like a celestial fist. Is that real? How did I miss that? Aubry? Aubrey, Aubrey, put down the Thesaurus. Like a celestial fist. Oh my God. Is that when she's like laying on the teacher's desk reading it? Like, why would you ever do that? Why would you ever do it?

She probably thought she was in one of her stripte scenes. Are they reading at the strip club? Now I got this, I got this. Lindsay is very confused. Dakota logs on to Aubrey's Macbook because she figures out the password is a Dakota. Yeah, all right this is where things start to get. Okay well it'll be explained later. She goes to ask. As you do. Sure. She finds a video that explained, oh go on. She searches for bleeding wounds unexplained. Right, right. Yes. Non-religious stigmata, I think it's one of the searches too. And she finds a video with fucking Art Bell in it.

Smoking away, everybody smoking in this. I fucking love Art Bells. Did you ever, have you ever listened to Coast to Ghost? No. It was a radio show that Art Bell used to do? That was like, it was a call in show, and people people, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th like, man I got a ghost in my house and you go, you should leave. Like you never just dismissed somebody like I would get out of there. That's awful. That sounds awful. But then he would talk about like conspiracy the thinks it was fantastic.

It was like four hours long in the middle of the night. Yeah. But our bells in this movie. Anyway. As himself, yep. Yeah, so he tells her all about these, the thing of twins being separated, one of them getting hurt, like the Corsican brothers basically, one gets hurt and the other one feels the pain. So like a woman got stabbed in the throat and then her sister like, or brother, like maybe as a dude and I don't know, and gets a whole like a trade and it just, th.... the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the, thrown, thin, th. their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the te. tw. twke and it just starts bleeding and you're like, okay, that's real weird. She buys this hook, line and sinker, she's in it to win it. She's in it to win it, but also when she's on the computer she finds the story that Aubrey's been writing about Dakota with like, so it's like, so need to be to get through this.

It's incomprehensible. And then like we see at the police station, they're like, oh, we tested the DNA. She's Aubrey, it's Aubrey's DNA. And then I was like, do identical twins have the same DNA? I don't think so. It's got to would be slightly different. That's what I thought. Okay, I'm looking at it. Okay. You keep talking. Aubrey thinks that she, or Dakota thinks that she out Aubrey from the mom shows her that ultrasound video and tells her about how she fell

and the baby was in ice in the oh that's right I know I see you for a while I want to be very good at one point when Aubrey is having the flashback or Dakota's having a flashback to be in her mom's house there's a picture of Dakota at the beach yeah that and there's the there there the there there the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their is is is is their is is is their is is their is is is their is is is their is their is is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is their is. toda. toda' today's today's today's today's today. today's today's today. today's today is. today is. their is. t beach. Yeah, this is dumb. And there's an almost exact same picture of Aubrey at the beach. And later we see video footage of it, which is like, go fuck yourself. Dakota dressed in red, Aubrey dressed in blue. Yeah, it's subtle. Okay, identical twins have the same DNA. Oh, okay.

So, sorry, I doubtedale Damon and says that... She was like, I've seen the Omen. She didn't say that, but it's literally in the plot of the Omen. Ah, an Omen twist is, mind out, followed by ten ha-ha-has. And the dad basically admits it, and she's like, we have to do something, we have to save Aubrey. Okay. And he's like, I can't admit that th this this th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. that, th that's thi, th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to say, to say, that's to say, to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the th. thi. th. It's thi. It's thi. thi. It's that's thi. It stance is just incomprehensible. He's like I can't, I can't like admit that I did this. I'll know, so he's just gonna let his daughter die. His only child die that he's raised from an infant. That doesn't make any fucking sense. So this is, is it a flashback now that we see her sewing her blackened finger back on?

No fucking way. Oh person stitch a dead finger back on. No fucking way. Oh my God. You would just live without it. You wouldn't stitch a dead finger back on. Also, you can't just, you have to put nerves and muscles into it. Otherwise, it's just hanging there like a thing you sew, it's your body's to your body's going to to to to to reject, your body's to reject, your body's, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to to reject, to reject, to reject, to reject, to reject, to reject, to reject, to reject, you to reject, you to to to to to to to thi, th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to just, their to just, their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th....... th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, to to thin, to to to to to to to toooof, tooof, tooof, tooof, tooof, tooof, their, thi. thi? We've also been told by the police that Jennifer Tolan's fingers were cut off

and then sewn back on, I think. Right. Why? Right. I don't, I don't know. She had the exact same wound, right? It wasn't that a thing. Maybe.

Who cares? Who to say, how did she figure out who's got her? Like, all of a sudden, she just knows where... That's a good question. I don't have any notes about that. Yeah, me neither. But the dad's like, oh, wait, no, I'm gonna help you. She's seeing visions, right?

She can't breathe. thoe, right? that doesn't help us. That's when she's with the dad. Yeah. He picks her up and he's like, I'm sorry, I totally believe you let's go do this. I haven't know that tiptoe prosthetic. She was standing on her tiptoes, which I didn't think you would be able to do with her like that, uncharged foot, but I don't know. It's just gone from my memory. I don't know. It's. So to to to to to to that. that. that. that. to that. that. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't to th. I don't know. I don't to tip. I'm tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tipto tip tip tip tip tip. She she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tip. I tipto tipto tipto tipto tiptoe pro tiptoe proe proe prost. I tiptoe prost. I tiptoe. I tiptoe. She was tipto tipto tipto taken to the house of her piano instructor. Yeah, why? I don't know. All right, fine. And, um. No, but first, no. Oh, no.

No, here's what happens. Oh, the titular line. Tell me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. She goes to the cemetery. I'm not sure why. Maybe she's a Jennifer Tolan's grave and she turns around and she looks at the dad and

she says, I know who killed me. Why would she say that? What sense does that make? It doesn't, what does it mean? I can't. First of all, she's been very adamant that she is not Aubrey and second, she's not dead. And then how does she know what? She's th, she's th, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, th. th. thi, that, thi, th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. toed. toed. toed, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. actual line was, but did remember what the movie was called. They were like, she's like,

she's like, nobody said anything, and she was like, I know it would kill me. In another instant she would have turned around and gone, Star Wars. I would love a remake of Star Wars with Lindsay Lohan. I know what you did last summer. It's a great film. The shining. I know what you did last summer. It's a great film. The Shining. Oh, it's so stupid.

So stupid. So she says that line. It makes no sense. But somehow she knows who has Aubrey. And she begins to panic because she can't breathe. So that means that Aubrey can't breathe. Which I was thinking like... We've seen Aubrey being buried in a blue glass casket. Oh my god, yeah. Wearing like a prairie dress.

Okay, so their whole lives then is like, like when Aubrey had the flu, was Dakota just fucking barfing? Like. She had cramps when Aubrey had diarrhea. Yeah. When, when Dakota's just like fucking all these people, was Aubrey like, Ah! Like, what?

What in what world does any of this make any fucking sense? You could write it down on a piece of paper and make a movie and have, I just don't understand. I just don't understand. And I just, I don't understand. You guys know when you're just having those like crazy orgasms to come out of nowhere. I don't know what you're talking about. What are you talking about? Because this is reinforced by the video of them being at the beach and one of them cuts

themselves and the other one starts yelling. So that means literally like every time you, they one of them stubbed a toe, the other one was like, mother fucker! Oh, boy! You know what I mean? You know what you get that like phantom hot soup feeling of your mouth? You know when the roof of your mouth just peels off from being burned even though you haven't had any hot liquid in it?

What the fuck? Okay, okay, okay. Oh God. So she goes in the house with the piano. We know at this point that it's the piano teacher. I don't even think it's been shown yet that it's a piano teacher. There's like a reveal. I thought there was a reveal.

I thought there was a reveal. There has, yeah, there's a reveal. Oh, when he goes to play it, he goes, after, he, he, he, he, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. thinks. thin, I thin, I thin, I th. I th. I thin, I th. I thin. I thin, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thinks, I thinks. I thinks, I thin. I thin. thin. thin. thin. thin, I thin. thin. thin. thin. think. thin. thinks, I thinks, I thinks, I thinks, I thinks he's like me take it then he does slap in her face with their own robot hand which I liked. Also then I got mad at the cops because I was like did you not catch that this guy was both Jennifer Toland and Aubrey's piano teachers like it's just yelling at kids that would be one of the first things you would find is that they had won the next young artist competition which is th. which the the the the th is th is the th is th is the th is. which is. the the the first things you would find is that they had won the next young artist competition which is how blue is the color of winners the blue ribbon that's that vision at the grave remembers the trophy at Jennifer's house that's how

she knows this piano teacher I just remembered I slapped you you know Katie smacked me when she got that realization came to me and I slapped him I'm sorry I slept I slapped him with his own robot arm, which was funny. I know who made this movie makes sense. No one, no one, no one did. So okay, so that's all she knew is the piano teacher. All right, at least there was a scene. So she killed the piano teacher.

But after he's killed the dad, I don't know how. He's just bleeding out out Okay, bye. Sure. Like what is the plane... Ugh, whatever. I have the note, holy shit I can't with the hand chopping off and him just being mad about it. Yeah. He's not like, holy shit, you're trying, he's like, oh, come on, God, dang. And then he goes up and tries to play piano with it, it's a stump. Just to say 8 to like, B, like, like, like, like, th, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I thi, to thi. to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tha, thi, th. th. to say, ate total like, bong, bong. And he's like, no! No! Yeah, what did you, did you think you might still be able to? And it's that thing where he obviously still has his hand but just has a really long sleeve?

Yeah. Oh, and the basement is full of mannequin legs? Why? Why? Why? Hanging from the ceiling? Because it looked to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to to the to to the to the to to the to to the to to the ceiling. Because it looked cool, right? Fine. So she goes to where Aubrey's been buried.

And digs her up. How did she know where to dig? Um, they're kidnapped. Okay, fine. So she... Sure. Do you think? When she was bumping her butt against the stripper bowl. Aubrey was like, what, huh? Let's go, huh? Why not butt so cold?

So she looks at a robo hand and kind of like, clenches it and then punches through the glass. I like that. But it was like, she was realizing that she had a super power, so you've had a robot hand for months now. Yeah. Oh, God, Dan. So she dig digs up Aubrey, who's lying in a casket, wearing a prairie dress, amputated on the right side, right arm, right leg. Just kind of like gently, casually laying there. Eyes open, she's fine. They just curl up next to each other. Maybe take her to the hospital. Go get help, you ass. They are just laying there, and then the movie ends. With some fake out silent little lambs music.

Yeah. Oh god damn it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. The original, and this is on the DVD extras. The original ending of the movie.

Do you own the DVD this? Okay. Okay. Yeah. In the DVD extras, the original the original the original the original the original the original the original the original the original the original the original the original the I just read about it. Okay, okay. Ooh. Yeah. In the DVD X-Dix, the original ending scene is in there, which is that the entire movie had been written to the end that Aubrey, all of this was a story Aubrey had written. Okay.

All of it. All of it. the serial killer, that's really dumb. It's really dumb. And they were like, well, just cut it. Like, let's not change anything else. Let's just cut it. Holy shit. Thank you, Wikipedia for telling me that. Oh, I knew who made a shitty movie.

Like, I made all cheerleaders die. I got a little better. Yeah, you got nowhere to go but go but go but go but go but go but go but go but go but go but go but go that. . Which I love. I got a little better. Got a little better. Yeah, you got nowhere to go but up. Katie, you know what I'm going to ask you right now. Yeah. Do you want to talk about another movie? You want to move on to them?

You want to get some ice cream? Do you want to move on to the Ratings face? Yes I do. Why movie makes the happening look like a masterpiece. Love the happening. So good. This movie's a fucking goose egg, zero. Zero. Fucking zero.

Zero. You didn't even try. I feel like they tried really hard. Just really badly. Okay. Zero. Go, Katie. I loved it. I loved it. It was awful. I'm giving it a one. But you should totally watch it. It's really fun. It's really dumb. Just to see like Lindsay Lohan at her worst. I think I liked this so much while I was watching it because I knew the joy that it was bringing to you.

I felt like we had this Aubrey Dakota connection or I could feel the joy. Yeah. Yeah, so I was, I like didn't regret the 299 I spent renting it on the Amazon. Yeah, I thought it was really good. that's a truly a movie. I like didn't regret the 299 I spent renting it on the Amazon. Yeah. I thought it was really good.

Bad. Terrible. What am I saying? Would watch again? What? Yeah. If someone was like, you want to watch, I know who killed me, I'd be like, yep. Oh, holy shit. Like the way that they ended the movie, I, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, I, tha, tha, I, I, tha, I, I, I, thi, I, tho, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I tho, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, I was, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, it was, it was, it was, it was, tho, tho, tho, I was, I was, I tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoo. thooooo. thooo. tho. tho. tho. Like the way that they ended the movie was that they are, I guess it's open for debate.

They are legitimately twins because the dad kind of admitted to that. Sure, sure. And he obviously went to look for the other daughter so it's basically an endorsement. How did Aubrey know the story to write it? She knew Dakota's name? she knew her mother's name. Like, it just doesn't doesn't then then then then then then then then tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi doesn't thi doesn't thi doesn't the story to write it? She knew Dakota's name, she knew her mother's name, like how did she know all that? Like it just doesn't make any sense. Not at all.

Like, or is it just that she was dissociating and she made up this twin and this is all happening in her mind? I don't know. Who cares? No, there's no resolution. because people didn't like it. God bless us. God bless us everyone. Katie, do you know who would win the young artist competition? Tell me.

Jason McIntyre. Yeah, next young artist. Is it next young artist? Actually, I think we have three contenders for young artists coming up right now. Well, let's talk about Jason first. He makes the parcel of terror for Crypturyum, which is crypto-curyum, which is?...... the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to, to, to, to, to, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi people people people, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, I think we have three contenders for young artists coming up right now. Well, let's talk about Jason first. He makes the parcel of terror for Cryptocurium, which is Cryptocurium.com, CRYPTOC, U,M, dot com. He does?

And I think he sent us one. Okay, not just one. the That's paper. Oh my God, I'm so excited about getting into this thing. It's been sitting in my house for a little while. I'm like, I'll just open it. Okay, he doesn't need to see it first. I'll just open it and I didn't do that. All right.

This is the trick edition of the parcel of the parcel of tha, tha, tha, tha, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, th, th and solid resin and individually hand-painted in a ghoulish metallic green comes ready to hang with attached metal latch. Oh she's hidden in this pumpkin treat bag. I love that pumpkin treat bag. Yeah I love that thea try to open it without ripping it. Nice. Oh that's beautiful. Oh. That's great. Look at the detail on her hair, on her face. That's schnauz? Can't maybe hand does all this stuff. This is insane. I know we talk about it every week,

but then when I really see it, I get weirded out. It's so crazy. Not weird out. Impressed is the 1930 is high quality pearl finished sticker printed by two crows printing I love that yeah love that that's awesome and this is a very visual medium this is but it's I mean if you're a Halloween nerd and you didn't get this you done fucked up go fuck yourself a forgotten face print a Halloween illustration by Cryptoakium guest illustrator Alan brown see more of Alan's work at

Medusa wolf dot com that's me medd us a guest illustrator Alan Brown. See more of Alan's work at Medusawulf.com. That's MEDUSAWLF. Dotcom. I saw that Alan had posted this on his Instagram and was so stoked about it. It's so creepy. Do you know what Alan's Instagram is? He's underscore, Medusawulf underscore. Okay, check that out because you guys got to see this print. It's like a blow mold ghost holding a skull and a pumpkin. It's amazing. But his its face is melting into a disgusting like screaming face. Gorgeous. What's next? Tackle lantern, Weegee Planchette. Make contact with the lost spirits of all Hallowsy but this pumpkin laden.

Implea. Cast and solid resin and individually hand painted in a rustic orange finish. I'm getting in there, hold on. Get in there. Oh, I like that spider web bag. Ah, that's so cool. That's so cool. That's really awesome. That's beautiful.

Are you going to contact some spirits? I'm going to do what Ito Cliff Burton. He's not coming for you. He might, though. I'll just keep saying base solo, take one until he comes. The Flash, Byberry, an original story taking place in the infamous Byberry State Hospital located in Philadelphia, written by Crypto Curiaum, guest author, Ken James. Look up Byberry before reading to give yourself the proper mindset. It's super creepy. Ghost pin adorn your death shroud with this diminutive tormented specter, cast in solid resin and individually hand painted. Comes ready to wear a display with attached metal pinback.

I love that everything is in bag so you can't see it really at first. Yeah, that's the mystery, right? That's the coolest. Oh, I love it. It's adorable. Oh, that's so cute. Yeah, thanks. It also looks like candy, which I'm going to have a hard time not eating it. All right, what else do we got? Carver print.

A skeletal spook imagines Halloween to come in this print by Cryptocurium guest illustrator Sam Heimer. See more of Sam's work at Sam Himer. That's Samp-Him-E-R. That's S-H-I- check out these artists, check out Jason, get in there, buy the stuff. What's that? What is it? What is it? It's an eyeball.

It's all yours. Do you think that Jason puts us in everyone or just the one he sends to you? Really? Yeah, that's for you. I'm not going to eat it right now because it's a lollipop, it's a lollipop. It's taking a little too far on the show. Katie, tell me about our second sponsor. Another person in the running for the, I'm going to keep calling it the next thing artist competition because I think that's funnier. Is your pal my thinne thii. Yeah.

He's back. He's back on the show. Welcome back, Dylan. Good. He is back because he has a few new items in his shop, some enamel pins, some kuzzi, some patches, and he is just, when this episode comes out, it will have just come out the previous Thursday, releasing a new print called Summoning the Ancient Gods. This is crazy. It's this crazy. He's only doing 30 of them. It's on black French paper and it's screen printed with the ashes of a burnt church. What? He collected the ashes himself so we can verify that the church was extra crispy. It's so gott. It's so gotthe's, it's like the gothest, gothest thing ever? Have you ever been so got? I have not. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the th. the th. the th. the the the th. the the th. the the the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the a the the the the the the the the the the the the the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've the. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've. I've. t. tod toda. toda. toda. toda. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the aside from those 30 prints, the original will be on display at an exhibition called Black Mass, which is opening October 29th at Aradano's tattoo in Cambridge Mass. So if you're local, if you're gonna be in the area, if you're nearby, go check it out.

Go check it out. The artist's lineup is incredible. People should definitely go. Dylan's stuff is always amazing, so you will not be let down by this. Where. Where. Where. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. Where th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. this. Where can you get it? At Dylan Garrett Smith.com. Double the R the T Y, L, A, N, G, R, E, T, Smit, dot com. You did it! Dylan Garrett Smith. tho. to the new, the next young artist competition is, well it's Nick Gucker. Who's putting on a zine by previous winner of the next young artist competition, Michael Bukowski. Oh my god, Mike, are your hand and ankle and leg and foot? Are your hands, leg, fingers all gone? I hope you're okay. Seven Church Ministries is putting on a zine called Outer Monstrosities based on the works

of William Hope Hodgson with art by Nick Gucker. The release date for this is Friday, November 25th, Black Friday at 11 a.m. Black Friday, do you shopping online. Eastern Standard time, which is 10 days after Hodgson's birthday. Fun fact. HBd.B.D. Eastern Standard Time, which is 10 days after Hodgson's birthday. Fun fact. HBD. On the 15th, think of William Hope Hodgson, won't you? As Mike says, Nick Cooker's dripping expressivist illustrations are a perfect match for Hudson's

tales of pigmen, mushroom people, and seaweed pirates. That sounds so adorable. I love a seaweed pirate. I don't even know what that is really, and I want it. Do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. H H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. F. H. F. F. F. I. I-I. F. I-I. F. I-I.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. F. F. H. H. H. H. adorable. I love a seaweed pirate. I don't even know what that is really and I want it. Do they steal seaweed or are they made of? Yeah probably. Yeah probably. I guess someone just steal and seaweed isn't that threatening. It's not really, it's kind of a resource you can get get a lot of. And I've eaten a lot of in my lifetime. Oh yeah. Nick he's done illustrated books for Matthew Bartlett, SP Missisk mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis mis the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. I th. I th. I th. I they they're they're they'll they'll they'll they'll they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee the thekowski, and friend of the podcast, Orrin Gray. And this scene will come with a mini illustro-obscurem by former next young artist competition winner, Mike Fugowski.

Mike, seriously, watch your limbs. I'm worried about you. That's also focusing on Hodgson's work. Wait, did he cut off their hands of because they didn't want to play piano anymore? Is that their pedal foot? Do you know what? Yeah, yeah, it would be, yeah. It was also her tapping while typing foot.

All right, just checking. Check out Jason's stuff. Check out Dylan stuff. Check out Mike's stuff. Our seven church ministries. V E NTH. You got it. I do. So give up some of your money. Make this happen. Tell me heard about it from us. And thank you guys for supporting us. We love you and you are wonderful. And I hope that one of you wins the next young artist competition. And I'm not saying which one. Katie. Yeah. What are we doing next week? Next week we're going to be joined by our long-time friend. My longtime D&D buddy?

Yeah. Simba, who is bringing us a movie that he loves from, also from 2007. Yeah, oddly enough. Oh weird. Called Murder Party. Murder party. It's an independent movie. It's not that hard to find. You can rent it on Amazon and you guys should definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely. Go to Facebook it because I think you're gonna love it. Definitely. Definitely. Go to Facebook, like us on there. Give us a review on iTunes. Follow us on Instagram. Hang out on Twitter.

You show up there. Just look at stuff on Twitter. Send us an email when you order that tee shirt. $15. Waiffamamilance. Paypalance. to the,.lfam.l, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.l, th.l, th.l, th.l, th.l, th.l, th.l, th.l, th. th. th. th. th. So, th. So, th. So, to, th. So, th. So, to, to, th. So. So. So. So. So, to, to, to.co.co. So.co. So. So. So. So. So, to. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. thirle of ambulance at Gmail.com. And, uh, join us next week to talk about murder party. And this is a season finale of season two. Holy shit. Yeah, season two. The off talked

about season two. Yeah, the year of rage, which. It was in there. Well, this is a kind of a way to end. This is a good way to end the year of rage. And so we'll be starting season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season season the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. the w. to to to the w. the w. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th the witch. I just made that up. No, I liked it. Thanks for listening to another episode of Where O'Fambulance. Bye. Bye.