What Now? with Trevor Noah - If I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack [VIDEO]

Episode Date: January 16, 2025

Required drug taking? Assigned partnerships? Getting rid of politicians? Trevor, Christiana, and Josh are back with maybe their wildest “If I Ruled the World” yet. See which of their inspired ideas will get voted through, and why. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I believe everyone should try crack before they die, but like in a perfect world you would know right before you die. He said do it in hospice. I would, I would do it in hospice. Guys if you're going out, go out with a bang, with a snap crackle pop bang. No, I don't think crack is the best hospice drug. What would you choose? Heroin? Yeah, but they give you that anyway. That's what I'm saying though.

They are trying something else. Yo, let me ask you something. I'd wanna do hookah. Have you seen somebody do crack and then like not be like more mobile than they were? Crackheads keep jobs. That's what I'm saying. Fentanyl kills. So I'm saying hospice should have crack But these people aren't gonna be working. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying hospice will just have like a swag to it This one is like an end stage thing. Yeah. Oh, I'm not saying crack for the people. I'm saying I'm saying crack for the people. No, I'm saying crack when it's done

When you're old and dying. When crack when it's done. Like you know when an airplane is going down and the masks come from the ceiling? There should be a little crack as well. That's what should be in the mask. A crack pipe? Yeah, that's what should be in the mask.

Planes going down, crack pipe comes down from the top, and then it's like, and then you're like, man, it's not so bad. They'll hold the plane up themselves. Everybody does it. Yeah. To clean up himself. Everything has an ending. This is What Now with Trevor Noah. So, welcome to it. It's an episode of If I Ruled the World,

where myself, Josh and Christiana think about ways that we would change the world if we had all the power. As is usual, each of us suggests our idea. Everyone votes on it. Well, here, the other two votes on it. And if you get a majority, or if you get two people, then your vote is passed. So Josh, Christiana

do you want to start? After you Josh. Christiana you're the only person I think who's had one passed. I know and I want to be the one that has it. Now I'm my competitive. I feel like that's why she offered for me to go first because it's like she knows mine will be bad. Okay Josh you go first. I think that if I ruled the world, everyone, every citizen of the world after the age of about 22, potentially 25, would have to at some point in the rest of their life have at least one psychedelic experience. Wow, have to. You have to.

And you don't have to do it at 22. I say 22 because between 22 and 25 are the years where the brain of a human really... So you're waiting for the brain to settle? The frontal lobe has to be. Yeah, because I'm not trying to offset where anyone was going to go without this. And I want everybody to be able to be themselves. But then I think that afterwards it's probably one of the things you can even save it until you're until you're old.

And if you die. Yeah, but that's what I was going to ask. What if people die before? I mean, they could die before they're 22. So what I'm saying is what I'm trying to say. You've implemented a system because everyone has to. Yeah, but there's no time limit on it. I would say the time limit on it is like probably 55. 55. So before 55 you have to have a psychedelic experience. Yes, because I think that if it has a life altering effect on you at 55, there's still time to change your life around, and if you do it too late, I think it just reshapes how you feel about life you've already lived.

Okay. I'm a little torn on this one. I think psychedelics can change the world in a positive way. I also do think not everyone should have to take them. And I think some people might take them and have like a really bad trip and like, I don't know if you've read these people's posts on like ayahuasca, which I know is not exactly the same thing. You know, people go and do like ayahuasca at one of these gimmicky retreats somewhere in the world and then they come back and they leave their family and they like quit everything and then they go over. I don't know if everyone would you give people psyche evaluations beforehand?

Would there be a guide? I think a guide a perfect example, right? Go is that apparently we have a misunderstanding personally and we've made a tourism out of ayahuasca yes, we have the tradition of ayahuasca was that the Actual doctor like the elder would take the ayahuasca and converse with you and talk with you. We've made it so that we want to take the ayahuasca. So I would say that there would definitely be like a sort of psyche valve to make sure a person could handle it and everything. Okay, okay, okay. I'm with you a little bit more.

But I do think that between the years of like 22 and 55 are where you are at your most, um, your most potential for being like stuck. I don't want to disparage people's choices, but I think that some people who do fall off the grid after a psychedelic experience maybe really are like loosening themselves. Maybe that's not the crazy that we think it is. OK, I'm willing to accept that. You know what I mean? Because we don't know who their families are.

We don't know who their families are. And we even have... We don't know what their job was like. What you would even call traditions of like you look at the Buddha and the Buddha left everything to go find enlightenment. But he had responsibilities. He had a wife and he had children and everything. I was going to say, I didn't know he was a deadbeat. A little bit.

Wow. Yeah. Didn't know that by him. Pretty sure... Pretty sure he came back, but didn't know he was a deadbeat. A little bit. Wow. Yeah. Didn't know that by him. Pretty sure he came back, but didn't come back to raise them. Yeah, he just came back to tell them that like, the idea of him leaving isn't real. He was like, why are you crying? I was never here.

So he made someone a single mom. Yeah, but he was like, you were always single. You came into this world. People have made him a god. He's like, you came into this world. He's not a god. He's like, it's an idea. He's like a prophet.

Yeah, but he's just like, yeah, man. At least Jesus didn't have any kids. I'm not saying you should be a Christian, but he had no kids. He was going to, but then Pontius Pilate happened, and yeah, the rest is history. So wait, Josh, are you saying this firsthand, or are you saying this as just an idea? No, as an idea. So you've never done psychedelics? No, no I haven't done psychedelics.

Wait, so you don't know what could happen to you? Wait, no, okay, it's different. I would love to do it with you. No, no. I wouldn't put anybody on shrooms. Why would you say this about me? You're like the shroom pusher. No, I'm not.

No, no, no, no. I'm the open-minded. You're a high-brow drug dealer. I mean, I'm an. No, no, no, no, no. I'm the open-minded. You're a high-brow drug dealer. I mean, I'm an open-minded encourager. I think everyone should be open to, like electric cars. I was one of the first ones saying to people, yo, guys, let's do electric cars. And then if people don't want it, I was like,

I don't mind you not doing it, but let's be open to the idea of it. We should all be open to more ideas that make the world a better place. Yeah, I agree with that. I would never push anything on Josh. You've never done it, but you want everyone, including yourself, to do it. Yeah, it'll be easier for me to do it. Oh wow. But also, also, I will say this, I don't do it now under the current

system that we live in. I can't just be a, you know, a black man out in the streets on psychedelics for the first time. I don't know, I might take my shirt off. We go to Oregon, we find an open field, you know, and then we just get in touch with ourselves. I guess so. Wait, Josh, do you even drink? No, no, I don't drink. I've never done anything. This is just...

Have you smoked weed? No, this is me raw. Wow. This is just what I'm like. Wow, I think... You've done nothing in raw. Wow. This is just what I'm like. Wow, I think, yeah. You've done nothing in life. No. You know what we should do?

We should, well, you just made it seem like he's done nothing in life. That's extreme. You just made it like, you were like, have you lived? No, but I know what she meant. You don't take antidepressants, you're just raw dogging the world. No, no. Wow. Yeah.

This is... Josh, this is deep. What we should do then, Josh, we should start. Why don't we start with a cigarette? You might discover yourself a cigarette. No, you might like No, you never know Josh. You're so Josh. You're so pure Oh, you might smoke a cigarette and have like an ayahuasca experience. I might smoke a cigarette and die I'm saying you might smoke one cigarette. I see my ancestors We give you like one like Marlboro, like an old school...

That's insane. Yeah, yeah. Just like one. I think nicotine would be enough for him. Man, let's go... You know, Josh, can I tell you what we should do? We should do podcast episodes and on each one we give you one substance. You try it and then we discuss it with you to see how you feel.

I feel like in this scenario you accidentally make crack the first episode. If we don't do it in the other episode. We're like, we can't find them. No, no, no, no. For Trevor, crack is the end game. Yes, it is. So it'd be like season 40. Yes, it would.

It would definitely be crack. Yeah, I think, Josh, with your psychedelics thing, since you like don't drink, you don't smoke weed, I don't know if you're the best authority on people trying, the whole population trying other substances. I think it's a fantastic idea, but carry on. No, but like it doesn't come from experience. Yeah, it comes from just a lot of reading. I thought you were on the same journey this guy is on.

No, no. Like a dream expert. But now to find out that you actually seem crazier now that you haven't done it. The first helicopter was not invented by someone who flew in a helicopter. Let the man be. What does that even mean? You don't have to do the thing to have the idea for the thing. That's what I'm saying. Josh is clearly an enlightened gentleman.

You could take him to Oregon and you do the thing and he comes back and he's like, absolutely not. So I want- We doing that Josh? I think Josh should do it. Cause Josh doesn't do anything. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. You know, so I hear what you're saying, Christian.

I do get it. But I'm just saying off of both the things that I've seen from people, like from not my first-hand experience, but from the knowledge of other people trying things and everything. I just, in the same way that I have not seen anyone be better for being drunk,

I have not seen people hold lots of worse off for having a psychedelic experience. Especially ones that they are even intended to be a little bit life-altering or mind-opening and are not habitual. I've just not seen any negative repercussions in like a major way. Maybe they had a bad trip, but I think that bad trip also made them think about why it was a bad trip and expose... No, I think you're coming to it from a very considered perspective. I respect it, but I still think you should do it because I'm not going to do it. So you do it.

Can I tell you what's funny about Christiana is this, you are going to be scammed. I'm letting you know you're going to get scammed by it because remember this moment and bookmark this episode. The pharmaceutical industry is working on synthesizing psychedelics that grow from our own mother earth. They're finding a way to synthesize it and once they've figured it out, they're going to get it passed by the governments and then they're going to make it illegal to have the stuff that everyone can grow for themselves and not lose all their money on.

And then they're going to sell the thing that was natural to the people and it's not going to have the full effects, because they still want it to make you latch onto capitalism. So they're going to find a way to like, it'll make you feel good for a few moments, and then it'll go away. But it won't have the real life-changing possibilities that real psychedelics can have. And then when that comes out, it'll be in a pill form, it'll be widely accepted by society, like most drugs are,

that have the worst side effects and that get people, you know, opioid addictions and you name it. And then you see Josh, Christiana will take that bottle and she'll tell us that she's on it and we'll be like, why didn't you take the mushrooms? And she'll be like, because my doctor prescribed that's why. I'm going to say after we spoke to Michael Pollan, right, Josh? After that, I'm in my politics group chat that that you guys, my nerdy mom group chat. We had a thing and we were like,

okay, we're gonna do a trip and we wanna get a guide and do streams. We wanna get your person. Look at this. We wanna get your person. Wow, this is amazing. But we kept being mothers, there's so many caveats already.

It's just like, should this person, maybe this person sits out and like, make sure like our phones are theirs. So we are considering it. I don't, I think we're all chicken to ever do it. Okay. And we're tired, exhausted, probably just like sleep most of the trip. Yeah.

But like I'm becoming more open to it. I think you should do it before you propose a law about it. It's only fair. Yeah. Unless it's political hypocrisy. You know what, Josh? I see what she says. She thinks you're chicken.

You're not chicken. No. After this episode, me and you, we go. And we're going to make it happen. Any questions from you, Christiana? I'm ready to vote on this. Yeah, I'm ready to vote on it. I don't have any questions.

Okay. Yeah. And you're voting? I'm going to vote no. Damn. But I think that the spirit behind it is a really beautiful thing because you're saying everyone should get the chance to be free. Which is what psychedelics can possibly do.

But you're voting no. Yeah, because I don't think we should compel anyone to do things with their bodies. I'm truly pro-choice. Damn, Josh, you are not pro-choice. Well, we compel people all the time. You are on the record as not being pro-choice. I we compel people all the time to do different stuff. On the record as not being pro-choice. I wouldn't even force people to take vaccines. You know what I mean?

Wow. No, no. Josh is like... No, no. Let her hang with me. She said no vaccines. No. No, I do vaccines.

I want my kids to be around people who have vaccines, but I would never say, if I was running a government, I'd be like... So like your body, don't come near it, don't touch it, don't do anything. Body, autonomy, radical, consent. If I was Gen Z, I'd be like, I want to be able to, can I kiss you? Okay, now I'm going to take off your top. I'd be like that type of person, but I'm like a millennial. But yeah, I just, I feel we can't, I don't want to compel anyone to do something with

their body, especially that affects their mind. So I'm sorry, I said no, Josh. Well I still vote yes, because I think it's a wonderful idea that could set many people free, and I think we've lost many of the traditions that have helped people do that. But Christiana wants us to be stuck sipping on the juice that capitalism gives us only. It does sound a little like that. She wants us to be stuck in our little cubicles and doesn't want us to be free. Because you know what affects the mind? You know what affects the body? The phone.

We all have one of those. We need them to survive. We never let them go. Maybe I should have tricked everyone. I said everybody. Josh got to know. We'll see what Christiana's suggestion is. We're going to continue this conversation right after this short break.

All right, Christiana, it's your turn. If you ruled the world. If I ruled the world, everyone would get an assigned partner. And whatever you'd want that partner to be. So if you're a gay man and you really want a husband, we'd make sure you get a husband. If you're a lesbian and you want a wife, I'd make sure you get a wife. Straight, da-da-da. Or if you're lesbian, you want a wife, I'd make sure you get a wife, straight, da da da. Or if you're someone that's like, I just want platonic love, we'd get you a best friend.

Now, when you say get you, what is this? Who's the getting in how is this? How does the getting work? But I'm like, am I going to get God? Like when you say getting, do I? So we'd have like... Someone's like, I want to have Trevor. We'd have like social work. No, no, no, no, no.

Everyone would be compelled. Yes. To have like social work. No, no, no, no, no. Everyone would be compelled to have an assigned partner. You can say what that assigned partner has to be. Like, is there somebody out there? But we have to have them. Yes. So no one's single in the world? No one's alone in the world. So remember- But no one's single as well.

Well, you can have an assigned partner and not be romantically involved with them. So you can just make your assigned partner a friend? Some of it would be a friend. Oh, okay. Because some people struggle to make friends. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Okay, wait. So I could say, imagine you're like, everyone has to have an assigned partner.

And as long as you're both alive, you are contractually obliged to each other in some way. Okay, but what does that mean? What is it? It could be, some people would be like, I want a husband. Okay. So I would make sure that person got a husband or a wife. And so they wouldn't be matched up with somebody who wanted the opposite.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. And then some people would be like, I never, I don't want a husband. I don't want someone in my house, but I want to know. But when I grow old, I'll have a companion, but I would prefer that person to be a woman.

Okay. All right. And then we'll be like, okay, we're going to find you a best friend. And you would arrange it and you'd have to be a woman. And then we're like, okay, we're going to find you a best friend. And you would arrange it, and you'd have to be together. And this is what I think it does. It solves our loneliness problem. Because there's so many people that like, die alone and live alone. But if you have an assigned partner, that side of your life is taken care of. I'm not mad at this idea, the only problem is, I've read multiple studies that have said

some of the loneliest people are those in a marriage. No, but it doesn't have to be a marriage. If you don't want a marriage. But what I'm saying is like, imagine having an assigned person who doesn't like you. No, but we would do our best to ensure it's like a good match. How do you, okay, so you're like using like algorithms and stuff. Algorithms, human wisdom, prayer maybe.

I'm just saying it's just like, let's be clear. People make really bad choices picking their own assigned partner. So it's not like you can do it any better. This is true. Right. And I'm like, let's outsource that to some sort of government body. And mind you, in the government, it's in their interest for you to be happy. Because happier people are more productive citizens. And they there's less crime. There's less violence, etc, etc. No, you guys are not sold. I'm not looking at your face. Well, I mean, my face is giving me away. Yeah.

Well, I think one thing to your point is I have to look it up, but it was like they did a... this is a survey, but basically they found that the divorce rate in arranged marriages when divorce was allowed and the divorce rate of love marriages was like pretty close. Oh, interesting. It was like not exactly the same, but it was like very close. So I do agree with your thing of like you are just as well off based off of your general personality and disposition of picking yourself as having someone pick for you because happy people make happy couples. My worry is that some people are like such proper like cat people that they're like guys

I don't want a person you don't understand. I only like alligators, but that person definitely needs a person as somebody who's had like family members who just like Isolate themselves from like the family for whatever reasons and you like you don't know where they are you don't know what they're doing It's a big worry. So in your system, you'd like pair them up with somebody who likes to dress up as an alligator Sure, if that's your thing, I don't kink shame you see So so I think in your scenario you would have to align them with someone who was like you would have to align them with someone who was like so passionate about outreach and social work that they didn't mind just being a pen pal for maybe years until this person wanted to talk.

Well, there are people like that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. I think it would be like, it wouldn't be like an opposite attract thing, because I think fundamentally they'd have to be assigned someone that has the same value system as them. Okay. Right, even if they have a different personality. Because I think fundamentally they'd have to be assigned someone who has the same value system as them. Okay, got it. Even if they have a different personality. But it would just mean that you would always have a person.

What if I kill my person? Okay, well... Do you give me another one? Well, the thing is, if you go to prison, you're going to have lots of assigned people in other cells. Wow, okay. So my assignments follow me. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, I'll just try to figure out like, okay. No, I feel like, I don't think it would become contentious. All human relationships have stuff, but I think it would do a lot of things for loneliness because people get to a certain age and they just wake up, maybe they get widowed or maybe they, you know. So I hear, look, I think the sentiment behind it, like most of our sentiments are right. I think it is a beautiful idea. The area where I think it falls short is this.

I think that loneliness is always relative to what we perceive the other thing to be. Okay? So, if you're on an island and there's only one other person on the island, you might find over some time you're like, this is life and this is great and you get what I'm saying. But if you live in a world where there's like a thousand people and then you only know like one of them, you might still be lonely. Because you're like, oh, I wish I had more friends. I only have one friend.

And so I think people would just make that the baseline. Now you'd become the loser in your basement. Oh, you probably only have an assigned friend. Oh, look at you. Oh, is that your wife? Is that an assigned wife? So I think you'd still have the same loneliness. And I also think like on a societal level, this also got to be a thing that like pushes us as humans a little bit. It's like, you know, I don't

think it's the push. Okay, so there's been all these, but every year we pick up the newspaper, we watch news and there's a story of somebody who has died in their apartment has been there for years. And there's a smell coming from there and the neighbors are like, what's that? And then the police come and it's a skeleton. There's a specific case of actually a black British woman and it's a skeleton watching TV

and it's like the apartment's stuck in time. And I think about that happens so much in cities, all around the world. But I'm arguing, I agree with you. We've never heard that story happen in an African village. Yeah, but Africa... I've never heard a story one time... In Africa, you need to unassign people.

That's what I'm trying to say. You need less people in your business. No, so what I'm saying is, I argue the thing that you're pitching isn't the root cause of what's happening. I would argue you've ruled the world and you've thrown in like a way to like treat the symptom. But the real issue is just like us living isolated lives in our world, you know what I mean? It's like, I, that's why I say I love the sentiment, but I personally am going to vote

no, because I think you fixed it the wrong way in my opinion as a voter. And I think it's just going to be like, it's just going to be a different way to be lonely. And then some people, you know, there's a weird thing. I think some people might even feel more rejected when their assigned thing doesn't work out because like an algorithm said it's supposed to work out and then it didn't work out. Imagine how much lonelier you would be

if you failed at the thing that was pre-chosen for you that was supposed to be perfect. So I'm gonna vote no. I love the sentiment behind it. It's a beautiful idea, but it's a no. Before I vote, I have one more question and one potential suggestion. One question, would you daisy chain the people? So like, let's say you have your person and then you're both like 28 and then your person, your assigned person passes. Do you get another person or are you like alone for the rest of life now?

No, I feel like, I think the assigned person is sacred. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm going to go back now and vote more no. Because I feel like knowing how human, you know, I have a very dismal view of human nature. I feel like to Trevor's point, you know, have you watched very dismal view of human nature. I feel like, to Trevor's point, somewhat... You just forced the soulmates on... You know, have you watched that Twin Flames documentary?

You've just twin-flamed people. Have you seen that scam? Everyone who's just listened to this, go and watch Escaping Twin Flames, and you will see what Christiana has just pitched to us. Because she just said, sacred, your partner is sacred. This is the fundamental premise of twin flame scams. I'm more voting no so I Am voting yes, but I have a little tweak because I do think it would work better this way

If you were Oregon, I'm on board for the amendment. I just want the vote I think Wow. This is the problem with politics today. I think that your assigned person has to be someone on a different part of the world than you, and I think that at some point you each get a trip to see each other. So you can see each other as much as you want. So like cultural exchange. Cultural exchange, exactly. Because I think that you having a person in a place that you would probably never go and something you know nothing about That's actually what like brings more humanity into it and a terrible system What you guys are like ridiculously terrible what?

Your assigned partners gonna be in another country. Yeah, you can't afford to go see the one person who's assigned to you No, but you get a trip. Yeah, one. Even worse, here's what you could have had. Here's what you could have had if you could have fought flights. No one says you have to go back. Yeah, but what if you like, you're like, this person's perfect for me and now you can't go. Have you had a visa? This is American, this is what this is. Americans travel the world, not knowing how hard it is to travel the world. You whip out your passport, every country lets you in. If you came from any other country, you would never make that suggestion. Imagine meeting your assigned sacred partner.

You fall for them. You're like, wow, this is the best person for me. And then the other country is like, you can't come in because you don't have a visa. And then what? But if they are assigned partner, you wouldn't need visas. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You don't need visas. This is her world where everyone has an assigned partner.

So we don't have to worry about the borders in the same way over this. You guys are adding like a bunch of if I rules into one if I rules. No, it's just... No, no, no. She has the power to go ahead and make you the person. Vote. Go ahead. You voted yes?

Yeah. Well, mine's still a no. This is the craziest, most ridiculous combination of ideas. Can I tell you something? This situation that you got, I would make a movie about this world and my movie would be about somebody escaping this world And I would call the movie Unassigned. That's what it would be. I could see the trailer now It'd be like in a world where everyone is forced to be with someone they don't know Michael come meet your assigned partner. I gotta get out of here I gotta get out of here the government locks everybody down. They tell you who you should be with

I say hello to your little friend One woman decides to fight back. I'm gonna take this shit. I don't need to sign anything. It's sacred Mary Goddamnit, you're sick. Gagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagagag poor poor poor poor poor poor unassigned coming to theater soon that's what i would make i mean i would watch it yeah i would escape that world i would watch it but i would also wish i was in that world don't go anywhere because we got more what now after this after this. Okay, if I ruled the world, I would say we have no more politicians. They're gone. No more. No more presidents. No more senators. No more congresspeople, no more none of them. I think it is a defunct position.

I think we no longer need it because the reason we needed it before was because we didn't have like telephones and internet. So villages and communities needed to get a person to go to the central body to tell the people there what they needed. And because we like we as the people were like working on our farms and stuff, we couldn't all leave our stuff to go and tell the people what we needed. And because we, like we as the people, were like working on our farms and stuff, we couldn't all leave our stuff to go and tell the people what we need. So we'd send a representative, that's where the term comes from, a representative, to go and tell the other representatives what our neck of the woods needs. We no longer need this. Now I know what you're thinking, you're saying, but then Trevor,

this seems like a world of chaos, who is making the rules, who is, I, in my world, the rules are now made by the people, for the people. And what would happen is, everybody would have a device. It is secure. Don't worry, we've done the work on this already. It's secure. And what you would do in your daily life is, you would pick the things that you want to be a certain way. So you would say like, oh, I think we should spend more money on roads and we should spend more money on books and education, teachers should get more salary and no, I don't want more war. And I think we should also do this and we shouldn't do that. And that's all you would do. Every day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But all of, let's put it this way, all of this information will be pertinent at the time that it needs to be pertinent, but it isn't on the fixed cycle that it is the way it is now in elections, because now this is arbitrary.

So it's a referendum, which I hate, because of Brexit. No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, it's not a referendum, because it's going into law. It's not a referendum. Alright? So instead of voting for a person who could not do the thing you say, I must always point out, many people get voted in and then do not do the thing that they say, you would vote. And then if most people have voted for free healthcare, there would now be free healthcare. But who would give the free healthcare?

Bureaucrats. Oh. So, bureaucrats still run what's happening. You need, because people who push paper, this is what you need. You need actuaries and you need like accountants and you need this world, right? And they're making the thing happen. They're executing what has come from the people, but there's no longer a leader who gets to take the thing

that came from the people and then like make it about themselves and then not do it. How do you get to be a bureaucrat? No, no, it's just qualifications. Because all you're doing is working things out. It's like economists, accountants, engineers, scientists. That's what they do. It's your job.

You don't have power. You just have to do what the people said. Bureaucracies have a lot of power. No, no, no, no, no, but not in this system. Because in this system, it has to be executed. It just has to be done. So let's say a community votes they want a park, and they want the park to be funded with their taxes.

Then they would vote on this. Everyone has their little app and they would vote on it and it would get passed as a measure. And then the bureaucrats just have to make it happen. So you're almost having like elections towards policies. Cause it's- Yeah, there's no people involved. There's no people involved.

There is no leader. There's no leader. It's just, do you want- There's no debates. Do you want access to this thing? because the the reason that I that I worry about there not being debates is that I think there's a disconnect and some of this is just how we live as people but there's like a disconnect between when you get to the Ballot box and how something is worded versus the points that people made before you got there

Okay, cool. And so there are sometimes things that are like intentionally vague as in like they've even been courts that had to throw out certain ballots before The vote because they were like this is worded in a way to be it becomes like it becomes backward mumble, right? Yes, it's like a riddle exactly. So then how would you stop people who, let's say, don't want women to have like access to abortion, that's still a belief someone will hold. How do you stop them from using whether it's the bureaucracy or their ballot? The great thing in this system is, in the same way you can use your phone today to reiterate or to explain or to define, right? If you use any of like even basic level AIs now, I'm not even talking about ones connected to the internet,

like a simple large language model, you can have that on device and it can just explain this to you. So it can say to you as Josh, hey, Josh, this is what this measure is. So you go as Josh, I do not think because you've said this on the podcast and I see you've brought it up again, you don't want women to have a choice over their bodies. I see you brought it up again. And so for you, Josh. That's not. For you. The thing would say to you as Josh, Josh, do you think that a woman should be allowed to make choices over her body medically.

And then you would say yes or no based on that. But it would make the language as clear for you as possible. So you're letting a robot do that work? What do you mean? An AI would do the... The interpretation. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tell you why. Let me tell you why.

AI is so... no. No, wait, wait. Let me explain why. Okay, go for it. So, the first thing we have to do is so... No. No, wait, wait, wait. Let me explain why. Okay, go for it. Let me explain why. So, the first thing we have to do is separate types of AIs, right? There are some AIs that are very... They're insular, and then there are other AIs that are not.

So they're connected to things and they... No, no, no. This is locked in. It's insular. All it's doing is explaining. Does that make sense? It's not intelligent in that way. It is just...

It's able to like rephrase the thing and explain it to you in a way. It could translate into your language. It could use, you know, words that you understand more than others. It, that's essentially what it's doing. Okay. Okay. So in your basically pitching direct democracy is like what the Greeks used to do, like, but a digital version.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that means everybody gets a say. Everybody gets a say. And, like, but a digital version. Yeah. Yeah. So that means everybody gets a say. Everybody gets a say. And it's easy to have a say. Yes.

Okay, I don't like that. Everybody shouldn't get a say. Everybody shouldn't get a say. No, everybody should get a say. My other question is, is there still religious institutions? Yeah, it's in the world we're in. So that means you still have leaders and politicians. No, no, no, no.

I get what you're saying. Because my worry is that humans are inherently hierarchical, and now we don't have politicians. Okay. They are going to find other people to do the thinking on their behalf. So it's either going to be religious leaders. In my world, it'll probably be TikTokers. Okay. It's going to be people who used to dance as a hobby, but now make bread online. Amen. We all used to dance.

I think, okay, so two last questions on it, right? One is, are you going to be voting all the way down to making distinctions about the spending when we judge the spending because we say we want free healthcare? Now someone has to decide out of the money that we do have, how much of the budget should leave other things to go to the free healthcare? Is that also going to get a vote? No, because this is where I believe somebody who's good at numbers is better than somebody who's good at talking. And I think a lot of the time our issues in society come from the fact that politicians get involved in that, but what do they know about it? Like who are they to divide up a

budget and be like, oh, we should send this much to defense. But aren't they getting advice from their bureaucrats? No, they're not, but they're not. We know that they're not. They're getting advice from lobbyists. They're getting advice from special interest groups. They're getting advice from, like, someone who's scratching their back. They're getting advice from the company they're going to go to after they leave government. That's where they're getting their advice. So I'm, again, I'm not even saying my system is perfect.

We will discover things we might need to tweak, but I'm saying the current system is that humans who don't know numbers are saying what the number split should be. Have you ever seen these stories where the American military has to like spend money, but like really fast, just because they have excess money? Yeah. Yeah. And they'll tell you these stories. They're like, they told us, they said,

we have to build something. And we were like, we don't need to build anything. And they said, we don't give a shit, build something. And so we built a warehouse in Afghanistan. And you're like, what is the warehouse for? They're like, we don't know, we just built it. But that's a system that's not working correctly, right? Because you had an excess,

instead of building an empty warehouse in Afghanistan, you could have built like 50 schools, maybe even more, but you just had to finish that money because then that's how budget... You see, that's what I'm saying. I would eliminate... Those people are not involved in that. My... The issue I'm having is... People vote against their own interests all the time. Yes.

And they vote for things that are bad for them. Yes. And in history, the best po... Not even politicians, the best leaders have gone against, like say a Fred Hampton RIP, gone against the status quo. The people are like, no way. Do you know, like really deeply unpopular idea. And sometimes it's like top down, this is what we're going to do. Like to give an example, like the COVID mandate. Like, well, if you don't get this shot,

you're not coming to work. And then people were like, oh, some people were like, okay, I'm gonna quit my job. But most people were like, all right, shoot me in the arm. And then it, you know, kind of didn't eliminate, but this life-threatening virus slowly receded from society, even though it's still there, right? So the thing that we need

about politicians is that they can push through unpopular things by force that people do not want. But we can take back that power. Right? Yes. So now- And we can get rid of them. However, if I'm in a society where I'm in like a minority that knows that this will be better for us as a group. Yes. Let's think about gay marriage. It was like never a popular thing. People were like, no, no, no, no. And then the Supreme Court one day was like, oh yeah, actually, why not? You know what I mean? But by the time that happened, the American population in general was not opposed to it.

It was not contrarian when it was passed. But there were enough people that would still vote. No. But not enough to win the vote. That's what I'm saying. On the app, they wouldn't have won the vote. That's what I'm trying to say. And so I agree with you.

I actually think sometimes, I don't think people vote against their best interests just like randomly. I think a lot of people vote against their best interests just like randomly. I think a lot of people vote against their best interests because they've been sold something that is different to what it is. So if we look at Fred Hampton as a good example, like right, the leader of the Black Panther organization, when he formed his Rainbow Coalition, what did he do there? He found a way to connect poor white people and poor black people and poor other color people. And he was like, whatever race you are, if you're poor, we're putting you together in a group. And he said to these white people, I know you think that I'm a nigger.

Forget that for now. Are your kids hungry? Yeah, well, their kids are also hungry. Is your house leaking? Their house is also leaking. Let's forget your racism for now. Let's just fix these issues. Let's band together and let's work on this, right? And what that shows you is that those people once presented with an issue that solves their problem don't vote against their best interests. But what politicians do is they get in the way of fixing things.

So they say, you want to vote for free healthcare. You know who's going to use your free healthcare? The Mexicans. And then people are like, damn, we shouldn't vote for free care. So I'm actually arguing, get the politicians out of the storytelling. Everyone just has it on their app. And when they're in the privacy of their own home with their own little device, talking to their own version of Siri, they just get to have a conversation where it goes like, and they go like, so where's the money going? And it's like, well, the pool and, or what are we spending? Well, your teachers need more money. And this is, do you want them? And you can still vote no. But now what you vote is what happens. There's no one who inflames tensions. There's no one who gives you a story around it.

Well, that's where, that's my issue. Cause I think that you under, like politicians is just the name and the label and the job. I know what you're saying. But humans are political animals. I hear what you're saying. And there's going gonna be that person that's gonna go around, do the work, go door to door and say like,

well, the machine is telling you this, but I know. Or they go straight to the machine, like Elon would just buy whatever the thing is. You can't do that, Josh. Why? There's money, it's capitalism. How are you gonna pay for all of this stuff? Because I rule the world, that's how I'm doing it. You guys forgot that I rule the world? I said I rule the world. You think I'm gonna need money if I rule the world? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm buying election. Oh, one day I want to buy an election. That's what I mean. What I mean is you can't just like buy election.

It's not for sale is what my point is. That's the thing. I'm not a tyrant. I'm not saying no stories, no narratives. No, the difference is though, let's use America as an example. In America, when you ask people about gun safety, overwhelmingly, I mean the number moves but like you find at some points it's like 75% to 80% of the American population agrees that there should be stricter regulations on certain types of weapons and who can hold them and who can sell them and who can buy them and

what magazines and what, all of it. It doesn't get passed by the people that have been elected to represent the people. That for me makes no sense. But why don't you just ban lobbyists? Or like have less money in politics? No, because I still don't think it's a, because I think this issue has long, it's like lived beyond lobbying and it's lived beyond, does that make sense? One thing I agree with within that is that like, even without the lobbyists, you can never underestimate the level of laziness that any given politician has.

Like there's all this stuff where politicians have let their aides read the entire bill, then describe it to them. Yes, but people are lazy. We're giving them an app. Some people may just have their kid vote. Oh no, you go ahead. You vote for me. No, no, no, no.

Our thing has biometrics. You can't do that. Oh, so it's a surveillance technology. No, it's not. No, no, it's not. It's not surveillance. It's biometric. It's biometric. Okay. It's biometric. It's not biometric. It's biometric.

It's biometric. The same way... This is like some fucking dystopian shit. Wait, wait, wait. Can I just say, can I just say... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Missed, assigned by force. You're telling me about dystopian... That is dystopian. I don't want to give the government my eyes. Okay, okay. Does your phone lock using your face?

No! What does your phone lock using? A number. Like a normal person. So your phone, no fingerprint, no nothing? No, you can get my phone right now. And your phone? I'm not taking the mark of the beast. So then I'm saying to you, I'll give you a device that locks using a number.

It's just biometrics. But I would know that it's you. Trevor, just paper, tick, let's make it simple. I would know that it's you. No, I'm per tick. No, I would know that it's you. No, I'm making it the most simple. You don't have to go anywhere. You know, can I tell you what has the highest voting rates? American Idol.

They never complain about low voter turnout. They've never once been like, nah, we couldn't get enough people to vote. Yeah, because it's like the same pool of people voting multiple times. No, but it's also because it's simple. It is simple. Okay, I don't think voting should be hard because now I'm going to sound like a gerrymandering like Republican, but we should make it too easy. I think it should be too easy to vote.

I think it should be completely easy because it is the will of the people. Okay, and my last question. Go ahead. Very last question. Because one thing that comes to mind is something that just happened in Australia a little while ago, where the First Nation people were basically trying to get a parliamentary advisor. Recognition in the Constitution or something like that. And basically, because all of Australia had to vote for it, it got a no. Okay.

Even though it polled well, obviously some of this is politicians, and by the time people went there, they were like, wait, are they going to lose their land if they get this? And so there was some confusion there. But this is something that will never see the light of day as long as everybody gets a vote on it. People who really have no stake in it and then the people with all of the stake in it, because they are such a minority of the group, they don't have the advocacy that shows the people who aren't affected

by it how important it is. So I'm not saying a politician and not necessarily even a lobbyist, but if we're missing out on those people, do we miss the opportunities for, let's say we're in a country with more men than women. I want women, Josh Johnson wants women to have reproductive rights. And so if more men are voting than women and men feel some type of way or they're like, I don't care because it's not me. Completely.

How do we fix that in your system? Bad for minority rights. So you say this, you say this Josh, and this is what I love about you. You have a beautiful open heart Josh Johnson. That's what I love about you. It truly is one of the things I love about you, you have a beautiful open heart, Josh Charman. That's what I love about you. It truly is one of the things I love about you most. Contrary to popular belief, contrary to popular belief and popular meaning Christianity predominantly, human beings are good and human beings are kind.

Right. And it may seem like that is not the case, but you do realize for most of the biggest movements and changes we've experienced in society, the group who is not affected or at least thinks they're not affected has voted for. White people had to vote to give black people the vote in America, in South Africa, in many places. Literally they had to be like, yes, the black people. And in South Africa, think about how crazy it was, it was a minority as well. In America, you can be like, ah, they were like,

well, what's the worst that could happen? In South Africa, a group of people who are like, what, seven, eight percent maybe of the population were like, we're gonna let 90% of the population vote and see what happened. They had to vote for that. When it came to women's voting rights, men were the ones who voted to let

women vote. So I think we should not take for granted that human beings are a lot better and kinder than we think they are because history is littered with examples of people voting even for people who aren't the majority and aren't the most. And to go back to what you said, there was confusion. People didn't know what it meant. They didn't know if they were actually disenfranchising the First Nations people. So in my system, it wouldn't do that. It would ask them a simple question and they'd be able to get clarification and then they would be able to vote on behalf of the people who do not have the majority, which is what

I think most voting is anyway. And I think it would alleviate a lot of those problems, but humans have shown they have the capability to do it. So I've made my pitch, I'm ready to take the votes. Okay, I'm going to vote yes, because even if we don't see the politician as a zero sum good or evil, I do think that their ability to just not care,

just be like, I'm chilling. Yes. Like I represent these ideas but like guys I don't really care what happens. I just want to get elected again. So like don't even make waves this time. I think if you're I think if you're missing that then you then you have a little bit more access to change quicker than the clip that we've seen. Preach.

I'm going to vote no but not for the reasons that Trevor thinks, not because I think human beings are so awful and terrible, even though I do think they are. But because I think that it's easy to get burnt out. Most people do not like to think about political choices all the time. That's why they outsource these decisions. And I think what would eventually happen, it would be a dictatorship. People would be so burnt out. They're like, actually, I don't want to think about this ever again.

Is there one person that can do for me? If it's a good outcome, it would be a woman dictator, which we don't really get to see often. So... There would be more burnt out than the system we have now. Yeah. Where people have to see campaigns and go to a ballot station and listen to things and read things.

One thing I believe about humans is that there are a lot of apolitical humans out there. Like most people do not, they don't wanna think about this. But this is not politics, this is just issues. They don't even wanna think about issues. Politics are what humans put on top of an issue. No. This is just an issue. I don't wanna life with issues.

But everyone handles issues. No, no, some people have good lives, Trevor. But even those people, even those people if you say to them, should we build another opera house? They're like, yeah, I would like a say in this. So you're saying no, because you think that people won't like it more. I think it sounds, it sounds really tiring, this system. And I just say that like, parents are telling you they're going to be like, please no. Wow. Yeah. Well, I guess my vote doesn't go through because Christiana is tired. Oh, do you think?

Yeah. I mean, I like that what we've... Imagine. Now's your chance to defend me and be like, there's reason why. I mean, she's just saying she's tired and that's why she doesn't want to make the world a better place. No, no, Here's my pitch. Here's my pitch for what Christian is saying though. Is that I think that right now we think that people are politically exhausted because of like candidates or ads or just like a system.

I think that that level of engagement doesn't necessarily increase just because the quality of someone's life gets better. It's why people stop taking their medicine. You ever see somebody who's sick and then they get prescribed the medicine and they're like, man, I feel great. I feel so good. I'm not going to take my medicine. That's kind of what I hear when Krijan is making these points is that it's like, there's a level of apathy that we think we're solving with this, which we are. Okay, I'll throw one amendment at you. We gamify it like Candy Crush.

Candy Crush has never struggled with people. I've never seen anyone on the train be like, no, another level. So I'm saying I'm going to gamify it. I'll make it really entertaining, really cool. This is insane. No, you'll be playing the game. He's the joker. You'll be playing the game.

And then you'll be like, it'll be like exciting. And it'll be like, it'll be like level four. And then I'll be like in, and it'll be like level four, and then it'll be like, in between level four, it'll be like, hey, do you wanna fund another school? And then it'll be like, you're like, yeah, we should fund another school. And then you go back, that's crazy, candy. It is a little dystopian.

People always have time for games. No one, guys, there's a reason social media makes so much money. It's not because people are tired of being, people are not tired of engaging. People are tired of engaging in boring things. I can't believe this. People are tired of engaging in boring things.

I'm with you. Not even one person puts down their phone and goes like, oh, too much TikTok. Christiana, you're guilty of this. I know. You spent seven hours on your phone and you don't have 10 seconds to vote in my app. 10 seconds to vote in my app.

Guys, I will make my voting system cutesy and demure. I'm with you, but now you're beholden to the attitude of somebody who is getting annoyed because they can't pass a certain level. And, and... No, I'm saying there's different gamifications. We'll find a way. I just think it's a little dystopian to be like, play for your rights. What, the I...

No, what I'm saying is we'll make it interesting. Opening the app with your iris was a dystopian or not? We'll make it interesting. You, what I'm saying is we'll make it interesting. We'll make it interesting. You know what? If I ruled the world, I wouldn't ask you guys before I passed any laws. I should have said that. If I ruled the world, I would just do shit. That's what I would do. I would just do shit and we'd live in a better world. You guys could play your game. Well, anyway, thanks for coming. Thanks for joining us here. I need to go and re-evaluate my views on democracy and the system. Josh, Christiana, as always, it was a pleasure. What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions.

The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, San, Sanaz Yamin and Jodie Avigan. Our senior producer is Jess Hackl. Claire Slaughter is our producer. Music Mixing and Mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?