What Now? with Trevor Noah - Trevor and Friends (Who Definitely Aren’t Conspiracy Theorists)

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

What do IKEA executives and eight-year-olds have in common, and why do we care so much about Kate Middleton? Trevor dives in with Christiana Mbakwe Medina and Oscar-winning writer & comedian Travon Free. They all swear they’re not conspiracy theorists, but they wonder: Is MI5 behind Christiana’s sore throat? And, could an airline commit the perfect crime? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's amazing that like, if you're dead, nobody questions you. Have you noticed that? Yeah, generally speaking. Yeah, well, what I mean is like, even if you are dying, like your dying words, people take those words more seriously than anything. If you're on your deathbed, you're an old man and your family's around you, and you say on your deathbed, the treasure is under the house, and you die. They will dig that house up. They will rip every floorboard from every corner to try and find the treasure. No one

will say, do you think grandpa was lying? They're like, no, it was his dying word. You're listening to What Now? The podcast where I chat to interesting people about the conversations taking over our world. This week, we explore how children are dismantling capitalism, why Boeing conspiracy theorists clearly need more black friends, and why you should never hire Kate Middleton to Photoshop your family's holiday card. Now, the only thing I love more than peeling back

the layers of a story is doing it with my favorite thinkers. So once again, I'm joined by writer, journalist, and in my opinion, the best professional hater around, Cristiana Mbaka Medina, and Oscar-winning writer and director, comedian, and my good friend, Trayvon Free. What's up everybody in the background? Hey team, how are you all doing? Hello, hello, hello, hello.

Recording? Yes, I'm rolling. This is What Now with Trevinoa. Assemble a same-game parlay with FanDuel Sportsbook, home of the SGP. Plus, with FanDuel's quick payouts, you can get paid faster than a breakaway. Make every moment more with FanDuel, official partner of the NHL. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Join me, Esther Perel, every Monday in my office on Where Should We Begin? I'm talking to couples and individuals about love and work,

about turning conflict into connection. More than ever, our relationships define the quality of our lives. So let's explore the myriad of relational challenges together. See you Monday. Happy Podcast Day. Happy Podcast Day. Happy Podcast Day, everybody. Thank you, Trevor. I see you just picked up on that and I appreciate that. It's what we normally say.

I've learned if you put happy in front of anything you're doing, it just makes it happy. It doesn't matter what it is. That's actually what they used to say to slaves, you know, happy cotton picking day guys. Trevor, you're not getting me cancelled. I'm black British. I'm on a green card visa. Please. Can I, you know, I grew up in a very religious household and whenever days were tough, whenever things were going against us, I remember as a child, I would think this is the worst thing ever, it's the worst day ever, and my mom would always say to me, she would go, these are the days when the Lord is sharpening us.

I feel like this is one of those days on the podcast. So just to set the table for everyone, Josh isn't with us this week. He's still alive. I shouldn't have said it like that. I shouldn't have said Josh isn't with us. So Josh is not on the podcast. For a good reason, he's celebrating his anniversary. And so, yeah, he took a little time off with his lovely lady and they just went off into the wilderness to, I guess, star in a horror movie. And then on the other side of things, Christiana, your voice.

I know. So, the thing about having kids is that they bring back just like the most bizarre, like viruses and bacteria that you've never even heard of, okay? So, I have got two petri dishes for children, and I thought I had overcome it, like the worst of it. And then yesterday I went out with friends and that knocked me out. That was it. Like my first night out as a mom of two in a long time, and I was just speaking. You know, when you're like talking loud over the phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's gone. God was like, you have to stay at home, be a good wife, stay at home with your husband. Here we are.

Like how in your world, God is like African. He's like, you have to stay at home. Oh yeah, my God is completely like me Nigerian dad who's like, she's like, You have to, what are you doing out at night, Christiana? But, as my mother would also say, when God closes one door, He opens another. And in our time of tribulation, I reached out to a good friend, a very funny human being, and he responded to the call. Trayvon Free, joining us on the podcast. Thank you for having me, man.

It's a pleasure. Man, are you kidding me? What a joy! What's going on, Trayvon? How have you been? I'm me, man. It's a pleasure. Man, are you kidding me? What a joy. What's going on Trayvon? How have you been? I'm good, man. Glad to be back to work after last year. Oh yeah.

Cause you were also part of the rights of strike. Yeah, man. Well, I didn't, I was sitting around doing a whole lot of nothing last year, man. So this is, this is nice. Damn. Are you back in the mix though? Are you still, are you still funny? Yeah, yeah.

We're still, still, still funny. Still, still trying to make things happen. Well, I'm waiting for notes from Paramount to find out if I'm still funny? Yeah, yeah, we're still funny, still trying to make things happen. While I'm waiting for notes from Paramount to find out if I'm still funny. So we'll know soon. Oh, that's funny. That's hilarious. That's hilarious. No, I'm so happy.

I mean, obviously I'm always happy chatting to you, Cristiano. But Trayvon, I feel like some of the topics we're going to talk about this week are literally right up your alley. Trevor, before we get into all of that, I'm looking at the view, the very expensive view behind you. Where are you? Can I tell you, it's really, really stunning. I'm actually in Palm Springs, California. I've never been here before. There's an architect that I'm a huge fan of. And I went to meet them and I was like, I love what you do. Like my dream is to one day like build a house with you.

And we're like, oh, and we just got along. And then the guy was like, hey, you know, if you're ever in Palm Springs, you should go and stay at my house that I have there. And so here I am for the first time living a little bit of the dream, which is, this is beautiful. That's a sick house. I wouldn't leave, person. I would just squatter's rights.

Squatter's rights. California, just stay. They wouldn't leave person. I would just squatter his rights. It's California. Just stay. They can't get rid of you. Oh, squatter his rights. But yeah, this has been nice. You know, it's been nice chilling here. In fact, this was the perfect place to be to get the good news about real estate. Because as you know, I'm searching for a home and this week we got some of the best news

possible. I always want to say the NRA because that's the only organization I think of with those letters, but it's the NAR. I think it's like the National Association of Realtors. Yeah, they got to the acronym too late. Yeah, they did, right? They showed up too late. They...

Oh, NRA is taken already? Fuck. And they didn't want to go with NRA 1. Remember when you did that with your emails? NRA underscore one. Yeah. NRA underscore one. I always, I always judge people and their creativity by what their email username is because like when some people think they've got like a really cool one and they'll be like smash dummy 43, then I'm like, yo, there were 43 other smash dummies.

And I know some of you are like, no, you mean 42. No, there's actually 43 extra other, because the first one doesn't have a one or anything attached to it. Trevor, you've really thought about this. I love it. I have, I have thought about this. I have thought about this. What was your first, um, username online, Trayvon?

I think I had AOL, when the AOL chat rooms were still around. I was just like Big Tray, 33, my basketball number. Big Tray? Wait, so you just described yourself? Yeah, pretty much. Wow, you're one of those. No, because there was a black tray at my school and it was me. I was the tall one, so I was Big Tray. That's how they delineated between it. Who are you looking for? Oh, Big Trey.

Where's Black Trey? Wait, so no one thought you were Black Trey as well? Well, Black Trey is a lot darker than me. Oh, damn. Colorism at its worst. Colorism at its worst. Got it. At its worst.

Okay, Big Trey 33. Christiana, what was yours? I can't remember, but I remember my first email was at handbag.comcom because that was like a big website in the UK. Wait, so it was at something at handbag.com? Yeah, and I thought I was the flyest thing in the world. I would give that email to people. I felt like such a big woman. I was like Christiana in Backway at handbag.com

and people look at me like, oh. I actually like at handbag. It sounds less corporate to way at handbag.com and people look at me like, oh. I actually like at handbag. It sounds less corporate. Yes. To have at handbag. Trevor, you didn't tell us your first username. My first username was, it was arcboy.

That was mine. Oh, Noah. Noah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, there you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you'd get that immediately, Christiana. I haven't been to church in a while. My mom listens to this. Don't get that immediately, Ms. Chana. Having been to church in a while.

My mom listens to this. Don't get her started, Trevor. Don't, please. So yeah, okay. So this week, going back, the NAR, for those who don't know, the NAR is the National Association of Realtors. And they're basically one of the most powerful organizations in the United States that decides how your real estate dealings happen. They're like a mini mafia in many ways. And for a long time, they've set the standard on how much commission you pay when you sell a house.

Right? So generally the standard in the U S is 6%. So if you're selling your house, you have to pay 6% commission on the sale of that house. For years, everyone was like, this is just the way you do it, there's nothing you can do about it. Recently, somebody sued them, they won, and they had to pay out hundreds

and hundreds of millions of dollars. And they agreed that they wouldn't appeal because they were scared that the damages would go up higher to like a few billion dollars. And so now, in the next few weeks, you will now be able to negotiate your own rates when buying or selling a house, which is huge because the game done changed. Which can I just say for the record, I always felt like realtors, especially in the US,

it's a weird system. So I don't know how it is in the UK, Christiana, but like in South Africa, you don't just pay people a percentage of like the house. It makes no sense to me. It's never made sense to me. You have somebody who's representing you, but they make more money. If you spend more money, then why would they get you to try and spend less money? Yeah. Right.

So I'm guessing the realtors are very upset about this. Oh, they're very upset. Very upset. I was watching a few videos. Like one of them was like, good luck selling your own house. They don't even understand what we've been doing for them. And part of me was like, first of all, I am a little afraid because I don't know what you were doing for us.

But also, I feel like this is what travel agents said when the internet started. I mean, we know what they're doing. We watch. They all have Netflix shows. They showed us what they do all the time. Oh, on Selling Sunset. We're just paying for their lunch breaks and their Botox and their Ferraris. Like, wouldn't it be funny if we found out that like that was the reason they lost the relay is because the judge was watching Selling Sunset. And if all they do is like fight and call each other crackets,

I don't know if you watch, like the show is crazy and the women are just like, you're a cracket. And you're like, what? Like, you're supposed to be selling houses. Yeah, I would dock their commissions too. It doesn't instill confidence in me watching a show like that and thinking these are the people selling your house. Like the idea that you're having like a civilized conversation with your realtor

and you're there like, and you know, this has been my family home for 20 years and I really want to sell it to someone meaningful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it completely. I get it. Well, we'll keep in touch. We'll keep in touch and we'll let you know. All right. Bye, bye, bye. Listen here, Cheryl, you crack ass piece of shit. If you don't buy this goddamn house for $10 million, I'm gonna kill you, you piece of trash. Yeah, we haven't managed to find a buyer as yet. The talks are breaking down. Could it be the fact that you called them a crackhead?

There's only like one woman on the show she's left now, Christine, I would let her sell me a house because she sold a man a house and then she married him. Do you know how gangster you got to be to be like, oh, you're rich. Wow. You can afford this house. You're marrying me. Wow. And she's not on the show. She's the only one that's not on the show.

The rest of the women are still selling houses. She was like, no, I got the ultimate house. Well played. That's who I want negotiating with me. But you know, it's interesting that you say that because I feel like housing, the way we know it today, is a scam. Like everyone shits on Gen Z and they go, oh, they don't want to work. They don't want to do anything. They don't have, then I go, okay, you tell me why you would go and break your back, crushing

your time and your life and everything for a company that pays you the minimum it can pay you so that you cannot afford a home. Also, a lot of these new houses, people don't talk about the quality of houses. They're actually not that good. Oh, they're trash. So like, if you're Gen Z and you're millennial and you can afford a house, the house you're probably buying isn't as good as the house that the boomers could buy that was from the 60s or from the 50s. And it's just like you you've got this kind of albatross around your neck. Yeah. Trayvon tell us tell us about your house. I'm renting a

house. You have let me tell you something you have a house worth of sneakers behind you as I'm speaking to you. The image I'm looking at right now is a house worth of sneakers. I'm actually looking to unload them. So if you guys know anybody who wants a size 16 in very, very lightly to never worn Jordans. Oh my goodness. You should just live in your shoes. You should sell your shoes as houses. When you have a size 16 shoe, you should be selling that to people to live.

You are basically the reason we have a housing crisis, Trayvon. You should put your shoes all over to live. You are basically the reason we have a housing crisis, Trayvon. You should put your shoes all over Los Angeles and all over New York. Just line them up on the streets and allow people to move into your shoes. I could probably cut the homeless population in half in LA if I just let them live in my shoes. How is that even humanly sized? You know, that's like the average size in the NBA. That's like the average size. Yeah, you just said that's the average size in the NBA. That's like the average size. Like. Yeah. You just said that's the average size on giant mountain.

That's not a valid thing to say. I'm the same size as those guys. So it kind of makes sense. Trayvon, that is, yeah, you've, you've killed five people. Yeah. You know, that's the average form of maximum security prison, actually. You're not normal. Yeah.

I don't fit here. I don't fit very many places in this society, but you know, I make it work. But this ruling with the real estate agencies, it brings up a question that I find I often have and we as society often have every few years where you go, wait, why was it like that? Right. Do you know what I mean? I feel like this is why children are necessary in the world.

One of my great beliefs is that, and I'm not saying it's a belief that is great, it is a great belief in my head, like it takes a lot of space, is I think one of the main reasons we have children is because we need to keep creating new human beings who have not been indoctrinated by the way things are and then ask the questions about why they are the way they are. I was talking to a child the other day about the voting age and a child said to me, I want to be president. And then I said, oh, well, you're not old enough to be president.

And the kid said, why not? I said, uh, cause they have a minimum age. The minimum age is 35. And they were like, why? And I was like, hmm, why? And then the kid said, well, how come the president can also be so old they're dead? I mean, I've met some pretty smart kids who I don't think could do more damage than some people who've been presidents.

And so you go like, just why is it the way it is? smart kids who I don't think could do more damage than some people who've been presidents. And so you go like, just why is it the way it is? Oh, in fact, there was another story that made me think of this. This was actually another piece of good news that also made everything else seem terrible. IKEA, the Swedish furniture manufacturer, right? The ones who make you build it all at home, but it never works. Anyway, IKEA has dropped their prices because they said inflation has gone down. Now you're listening to this going, oh, okay, what's the big deal, Trevor?

Well, let me ask you this. Why is it that every time inflation goes up, companies raise their prices, telling us that the price of goods has to go up because inflation has gone up? But think about it, how many companies ever bring their prices down? Ever, ever, ever, ever.

It never happens. Never, ever happens. If the government actually had some teeth, they would write a law that says any price increase that is tied to inflation. Because like companies should have to state what the price increase is for. If it's tied to inflation, it should then move with inflation. You know what I mean? Totally. I'm just afraid that then employers would take down wages.

You know, like every year, most people, your employer should like raise your salary. To keep up with inflation. Yeah. I'm just worried that there'd be some vicious person be like, okay, well then prices are down. I'm going to pay you less. So are you just telling me there's nothing we can do to companies? Is this what you're saying?

Oh no, we should just stop stealing from them, Trevor. Like, that's what I was gonna say about the houses and like you being in this fancy house, just take the house. Oh wow. No, cause we're upholding our end of the social contract and then they're robbing us. I mean, it's funny, but you make a really, really great point about something that I think about all the time, which is at what point do you push people too far?

At what point do people go, you watch all these billionaires and people who own these companies keep getting richer and richer, and you keep getting poorer and poorer, no matter how hard you work. And at what point does the collective society go enough? It's a product of the collective consciousness of understanding that eventually people get pushed far enough where you go, look at how much money's been taken from the everyday worker. At some point we all got to go, we've had enough, right? We should just go rob them, right? And the funny thing is billionaires could actually learn from people like Pablo Escobar,

right? If you just give out a little money to the community every now and then, you keep people happy and on your side and you keep them not wanting to turn against you because they're like, ah, every time I need something, Pablo hands me $100, right? Not even that Pablo built schools. Pablo built soccer fields. What we need is, we need a new system where we say government is run, but it has to include an eight-year-old child and a Swedish executive. Oh my God. Then you'd have to build, we'd have to build stuff ourselves. I don't like, I don't like IKEA. I don't like to do labor. Why am I paying you

for something? Then I have to build it. That is like inherently a scam. That's a scam. Alright, moving on. I want to talk to you about the big conspiracies of the... I've been waiting the whole week to talk about this. Oh, I'm so excited. I've been waiting the whole week to talk about this. Oh, I'm so excited. We'll be right back. So, Trayvon, one of the things I love speaking about on this podcast with Christiana and Josh normally is conspiracy theories. I'm a huge fan of conspiracy theories.

However, I should expand on this. I like good quality conspiracy theories. I think over the past few years, people have become lazy. I think the internet has helped them. What I appreciated about like old school conspiracy theories. And I know I sound like an old man sometimes back in my day, they made better conspiracy theories, but I think they did. I'll tell you why. Back in the day, if you had a conspiracy theory, you couldn't just spread it with

a bunch of tweets that would get amplified by like a terrible system. No, you had to say things that were convincing enough and they were based in fact. And so those things had to spread organically and people had to think about them. Like if you think about how hard it was to spread a conspiracy theory back in the day before the internet,

that was real thinking. Now there's nonsense. And the one that blew up this week, I don't know if you saw this, but some random guy goes on Joe Rogan's podcast, and he was talking about how Boeing is falling apart at the seams. And the reason this is happening is because of diversity, equity, and inclusion. Basically, you know, the black people came in,

and I guess the Mexicans came in and everyone and we don't know how to build shit and it's falling apart. Now before I move on, before I move on, can I just say this, can I just say this? I find it interesting that people who have conspiracy theories will hold conflicting ideas in their head confidently. On the one hand, people will say confidently, these people are taking our jobs. And then on the other hand, they'll be like, they're so lazy. They don't do shit properly.

Like, which one is it? The DEI is causing people to D I E is what he's saying. Oh man. I think your writing deals are going to come through, man. I like this. I like this. I mean, it's not like we're out there making soul planes. Like it's just... We talked about it with Mark Cuban on the show.

Mark Cuban was on the podcast a few episodes ago. He said it so eloquently. The mistake people make with diversity, equity inclusion He talked about Elon Musk as well as he said They don't realize that all you're doing now is opening the market to people who previously weren't allowed to get into it That's all it is Also, like a black woman that's just got a job at Boehm is not gonna mess it up She's gonna mind her business She's not gonna try to take the company back. She's like I need a good job. I want some retirement

I want some retirement. I want my pension. I want these benefits. I'm minding my business and I don't want to have anything to do with the potluck. She is not trying to like mess up the equipment. Like black people, our problem is we don't want to actually speak to other people at work. We just want to come to work and go home.

But like, that's funny. When they come up with these conspiracies, you're like, oh, you don't actually know any minorities. Cause if you know minorities behave at work, you're like, oh, you don't actually know any minorities. No, they don't. Because if you knew how minorities behave at work, you're like, no, they're not doing all that. They just want the check and they want to go home. And ironically, all this information is out there.

Even the whistleblower, which by the way, has now become part of the conspiracy theory. So a few people have come out and spoken against Boeing, former employees or current employees. One of them, as known as the whistleblower, he was speaking out against what Boeing was doing, saying that Boeing was putting the planes together with cheaper parts or inferior things, or they were cutting corners, and they're cutting corners wide to save costs so that they can make more money for the shareholders and for the share price. But this man was supposed to have a deposition and he turned up dead, apparently by suicide, but now apparently by not because he said to a friend of his, hey, if anything happens

to me, just know that it wasn't suicide. Now I'm not going to say that it isn't suicide or is suicide, but I will say, if you were going to commit suicide and make it look like it wasn't suicide, saying that to anyone is a great way to go out with a bang. I think everybody should say that to one person in their life, so that way we could just cause chaos. Like, anytime anything happens to anybody,

we should just all pick a friend and say, if anything happens to me, it wasn't suicide. -♪ PAULA LAUGHS We should just all pick a friend and say, if anything happens to me, it wasn't suicide. The thing about conspiracy is like, I get why people believe them. I'm prone to believing them because I think like being black is so surreal. It's like you're constantly in a conspiracy anyway. Do you know what I mean? Because so much stuff happens to you. People are like, no, that didn't happen.

And you're like, no, it did happen. Yeah. Like racism feels like a conspiracy. So I'm just like, I believe in a lot of weird stuff. So this Boeing thing, I'm like, why would he kill himself during the depositions? He's already doing the depositions. Yes.

But I'm not saying anything about Boeing, because I don't want them to come for me. What do you mean come for you? How are they going to come for you? You think they're going to come for you on your own? They're going to land a plane right on your house. Trump spoke about the deep state. There's people out there that do things.

They're going to put peanuts in your food when you said you have an allergy. It's just like, if airlines wanted to take you out, they could take you out. In fact, if I was going to testify against airlines, I would drive everywhere. I don't know, man. I actually feel bad for a lot of these white men. I will say this. I feel bad for these white men because I think they are suffering the effects of racism. And I know this may sound like a counterintuitive thing to say to people, but we often think of racism and its effects on black people and other people of color. But I think we don't spend enough time thinking about how poisonous racism has been to white

people. Because what racism does and what it did is that it convinced white men that they were inherently superior without any effort whatsoever. And now they're grappling for answers as to why. Why is it? Why is Big Trey dunking on me with his size 16 shoes? This is racism. I saw a kid the other day, I was driving through Los Angeles and I saw like it was a landscaping, gardening and they were doing this. And there was a kid, I swear he was maybe 11 years old, working with, I'm assuming his dad, but like working. And I was thinking to myself, nobody in that neighborhood, there's no other 11 year old

white kid who's doing what that kid is doing right now, like toiling somebody's garden. And although it is shit in that moment, there is no doubt that he will come out of that experience with a level of resiliency and experience that white kid in that neighborhood just didn't get funny enough because he was growing up in the lap of luxury. Trevor, I think you, I think you've built a really strong case for child labor on this episode. Oh, I'm, I built a really strong case for child labor on this episode. Oh, I'm a big fan of child labor.

Don't even play games. Presidents, lawn work. I am a big fan of child labor. I'll tell you why. I think we mixed up the way the world works. So if you look at how humans develop, children love working. Give a child a broom. Give a five-year-old a broom.

Yo, five-year-olds will sweep the shit out of that room. Give a five-year-old a knife and a chopping block. They will cut every vegetable that has ever existed. What is going on? No, listen. Wait, listen, listen. Now, now you're confusing two things. We haven't made the tools safe enough for children, but kids love working.

Have you seen toddlers? All they do is go into gardens and pick up rocks and move them to other places. That's all they want to do. That's prison labor. I just think we haven't made it safe for them, but I think that we should get children working as early as possible instead of of wasting their time in school learning things. They don't need to learn about types of rivers. Well, you know what?

White people get to bring their dogs to work, so why can't I bring my kids? There you go. That's how I really feel about it. I think I do agree that we should let kids be more in society. Not my kid, because he'll do something damaging and then they'll have to sew his arm back on. I have faith in Obi. I have faith.

Obi is like you, so no, he'll probably steal something. I'm loving the evolution of this conspiracy. It'll be interesting to see, like, where it ends. I feel bad for these people. I genuinely do. Imagine living a life like that. Imagine waking up every day and everything that goes wrong in your life and in the world, bad, I feel bad for these people. I genuinely do. Imagine living a life like that. Imagine waking up every day and everything that goes wrong in your life and in the world, you're like, ah, these blacks.

But it's also, there's a simplicity to it. Like having a singular enemy, like must be great. The other thing is more complicated and that Fs people up and they don't have money to spend like $200 an hour on a therapist and work through that stuff. It's much easier to be like, it's the black people. Right. It's true. We need to get people free therapy. Huh, I'll figure this out. I do know a few black therapists who don't have as many patients as they would like. If we could get these guys to go to black therapists.

Trayvon, that's a funny TV show. It's a TV show. Trayvon. I'm pitching that right now. We can make that happen. So a racist who goes to a black therapist,. Trayvon. I'm pitching that right now. We can make that happen. So, a racism goes to a black therapist. I'm all for it. I would watch that. Alright.

Well, I've saved the best conspiracy for last. What we just spoke about with Boeing, that's like a lazy conspiracy theory. That's people using conspiracies to mask their racism. This, my friends, is the true pinnacle of conspiracy. Because it's real. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. [♪ Music & Singing [♪ Music & Singing [♪ Music & Singing

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[♪ Music & Singing [♪ Music & Singing [♪ Music & Singing I'll never say God saved the king. Oh, I love that Trevor! No, I'll never say God saved the king. I'm sorry. For me, it's God saved the queen and that's that. It just immediately transferred to Beyonce when she died. So now it's about Beyonce. Yeah, yeah, yeah! We're singing to Beyonce! There you go! Yeah, I like that actually.

God saved the queen. Queen B. But yes, the story is about the royal family. It is about England and Great Britain, the place that partially forged me. But yes, for those who don't know, there is a conspiracy that is rocking the United Kingdom and I would argue, most parts of the internet. And it involves Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton. Christiana, you'll correct me at any point when I'm wrong. I'll let you lay it out and then I'll tell you.

If you had a voice, I would just get you to give the story. I know, they got me. MI5 were like, we don't want to say anything on that podcast and I can't speak. My God. So this is how I understand it. Kate Middleton had to go to the hospital and said that she was going in for like a procedure and it was, you know, minor procedure, whatever it was,

went in and then didn't come out of the hospital when people expected her to, came back home, but nobody saw her. And every week people have asked the question, where's Kate Middleton? They asked the question to the point where it's been trending continuously and consistently online. Hashtag, where's Kate Middleton?

And initially it was just like a funny thing, you know, like one of the funniest memes that was going around was people saying like, oh, Kate went in for a BBL. But then every week that passed, people were like, no, seriously, where's Kate Middleton? And then a few pictures would come out, but blurry pictures of her out and about-ish, but not really out, but not really about. And then finally, Kate Middleton's account online Instagrammed out a picture of her with her children

surrounding her and the caption read something about Mother's Day. It was a proof of life picture until the internet happened because upon closer inspection, people started realizing there were a few strange discrepancies in the picture. And one of the reasons they busted her, oh my goodness, this is one of my favorite details, one of the reasons they busted her is because she was wearing a sweater in the picture and the color of that sweater was a color that had never been released for that style of sweater. Oh, wow. And so the, the internet people, all the people with at handbag.com, they were

like, yeah, that, that sweater doesn't exist. And a few days later slash a week later, Kate again released a statement. And I say Kate in, in inverted commas, she released a statement saying, I sometimes do dabble in editing software as most other human beings do. It is a thing that I sometimes play with as most people play with, because I too am human and alive. Yeah, case learning mid-journey as we speak. I don't even know, Christiana, you are of the empire. I mean, I'm a subdivision of the

empire, but like you are- Colonialism did that, Trevor, yeah. What do you make of this? So I think a number of things have happened at once. I do believe she did get a surgery and like by the process of deduction, there's probably something with her colon, probably something with her bum, like embarrassing for like a princess. Are you moving towards BBL? Because I feel like you're slowly moving there in your description.

Well, I think she's got something that she wouldn't want to share with the world. Yeah, but wait, wait, wait, what is going on there? Because now part of the conspiracy is also that- Yeah, that maybe she wants divorce, right? She wants a divorce. That maybe she wants a divorce and because he has kids with another woman or something, what is going on? What is that part of the conspiracy?

I don't know if that's true. Well, there's been rumors for years that they've been on the brink of divorce and at odds for a long time, kind of similar to Charles and Diana. Yeah, but I was about to say, isn't this the old storyline from Charles and Diana? Yeah, but I just think they just like,

they just marry people and they're a bit hood. It's just like hood family drama. Like the man's got a side chick, the woman's fed up. Like the... Oh my God, that is one of the funniest things I've ever heard someone say about the royal family. I think because they're so royal and they're so like dignified, but when you look at it,

you're just like, oh, this is just a family having drama. The mom's sick. She hates the dad. And she's like, I'm not coming out. And then I think if she has had this surgery, she's probably on steroids. So her face is swollen. She may have like a colostomy bag. Like she probably just doesn't look the way she likes to look.

So she's like, well, Photoshop a picture. And the palace did. And then they threw her under the bus. That's the thing that I thought was quite dark. She don't know how to do no Photoshop. Like- That was a really weird one. What do you think it is, Trava?

I was hoping her and Megan did like the face-off, like Nick Cage and John Travolta. And they just switched places so that they could just swap places within the Royal family. Like, oh man. I think if she wanted to run, she couldn't. No, like, and it just kind of shows that like when there's that power imbalance, as a woman, you're stuck. Because she's a princess stuck in a castle. Like whatever way you look at it, she's a princess stuck in a castle.

It's like a royal version of Get Out, and like Megan got out and told us all what was going on and she's still stuck in the castle and can't get out. Is there a different opinion on this in the UK? Because in the US, obviously people are just like, it's this far away concept. And the royal family is in many ways like a reality TV show for Americans. But in the UK, what's the feeling? Everyone's just kind of sick of the royal family. And I think for younger people, there's just kind of this discontent.

Whereas my parents like, love the Queen, I shouldn't say. But you know what I mean? Like her majesty. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. There was like this real affection for this woman and she died. And then people didn't like her son as much. And then it's just like, it's just chaos.

I think people are fed up. I think across the board in all of these stories, even though I don't agree with the Boeing conspiracy theorists, et cetera, it is interesting to see how there is a general erosion of trust just in the world. And I feel like it's been amplified by COVID. I think it sent people into a spiral. And I think it didn't help, by the way, that health agencies around the world did a terrible job of involving the public in its decision-making. And it's interesting to see how now now because of the internet and because of how

people feel, there's no trust, you know, generally with institutions, like nobody believes anything that anyone says from anywhere. And I wonder what that's going to do to the world. As much as I'm a fan of everybody being a free thinker, I think there is also a cohesion that comes from people hearing from like a singular source at times. You know, it's like, think of it this way. If you live in a family and your mom comes into the room and she says, hey everybody,

we don't have any milk. The family goes, there is no milk. If someone's like, she's lying, there is milk. I know there's milk. And then the husband's like, yeah, I don't trust this lady. There's milk. And then everyone, yo, the house would fall apart really quickly. And now if you expand that, if you widen that out to a society, if nobody believes anything,

you know, people now don't trust like what's going to happen in the elections coming up. People don't trust the royal family. Like if they're putting out fake pictures, like what do you trust of them ever again if that makes sense? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I feel like I've accepted there's no more shared reality. I mean, it doesn't help when the royal family is photoshopping photos, right? Like you've just sowed more distrust into that system. And so like, I think social media kind of sped up the way we have now distrusted smart educated people like scientists and doctors.

And you see all the time people on Twitter who like has a PhD in something and we're like, no, Johnny from Milwaukee said that's not true. And I saw he tweeted a link to this thing and I read it. And so I know like this doctor's not telling the truth. And you just see that spread across every institution now and society can't survive like that. It just, it can't.

Well, the thing is, it reminds me of something a therapist once said. She said, one of the biggest mistakes parents make is that they think breaking the rules is justified if it gets the kid to do what they want them to do or moves things along, etc., etc., etc. What they don't realize is it just teaches the kid the rules of that reality. But we take for granted that the kid is learning what is acceptable from you. And so when they catch you lying, they're like, huh, so mommy lies, so daddy lies. Okay, so lying is something that you do. And I guess you do it when you need to do it and they try to figure it out. And the same goes for society. A scientist can tell you the truth a thousand times

but if they or their organization lies once why would you ever trust them again it literally just becomes a world where now none of us believes anything that is happening anywhere and I honestly wonder where it takes us like sometimes I do think we could end up in this weird little civil war internet blackout where everything just goes back to the dark ages. I do think if we just shut down social media for like a year, we could reset so many things, like like bed rest, right? When you just got to lay, you got to be in bed for a certain period of time to heal.

Okay, wait, are you also taking away like WhatsApp? No, no, no, just places where... No, take away WhatsApp. Take out WhatsApp. You don't know the third world, Trayvon. More conspiracies are spread on WhatsApp than most social media. In fact, it's more powerful because it comes to your own personal number. Yeah. You basically what you're, what you, we might need to shut down the internet for a year.

Look, if that's what it takes, if that's what it takes. I like this idea. Try and shut down the internet. I'm going to work on it and, and mark my words now, people, if while I'm working on this, I commit suicide, know that it wasn't suicide. You know what, you know what I will say to your point, Trayvon, actually, I think You know what, I will say to your point Trayvon actually, I think we are at the beginning stages of starting to understand the downsides of this thing we've created called social media and instant connection on the internet.

While on the one hand it's given us the ability to instantly call our grandmother and long lost friends from school and everything, it's also meant that an idea that previously might've been probed and then stopped a few people in, can now find as many other people to keep it going as possible. Yeah. That's, that's how I felt listening to your Sam Altman interview, to be honest. Like I feel like as much as he tries to express the benefits and the good of what they're doing at OpenAI and what the benefit of chat GBT and all these things are, I just don't see

the benefit. I see all the dangers. I see all the pitfalls of what's coming on the other end of this amazing tool that he supposedly created because when you've made something that you know is, for example, going to kill so many people's jobs in so many ways, what is the benefit of that? Speed, to do it faster, to do it cheaper? Going back to your other point of how when capitalism grows, when people raise prices because of inflation, they don't go back. It's like no one's going to develop AI and all these things to become more profitable

and then find a way to pay people to be a part of it. With all of these things and the way that they move and the speed that they move, it's going to leave us behind in a big way. We just haven't seen it yet, I think. Yeah. And if you, it's a lot easier for somebody to think of and live in a world of conspiracy theories when their life is not going well, when they don't see a future, when they can't afford something. Because if you live in a world that is telling you something that doesn't match up with what you are experiencing,

it is a conspiracy. You know, Christiana, to your point earlier about like black people living in a conspiracy, if you're told, hey, the American dream is that you work hard. And if you work hard, you're going to live a good life. And then you do work hard and your life isn't good. You then go, what's happening here? Trevor, but what do you think about when your life actually improves, right? Aren't you then like, oh yeah, there is a conspiracy. Have you ever had that moment like, wait a minute, there's a whole different type of world, there's a whole different type of bank,

there's a whole different type of entrance. It's a conspiracy. I agree with you saying there's a surrealness of having a very dehumanized existence. But I get why Elon believes in conspiracies because his life is so wacky. Oh, interesting. And he has so much, like, you know, you meet the Elons and the Kanye's, these men that have access to hundreds of millions and billions of dollars. They're like, it's a trick. My favorite Trump quote, and I hate quoting him, is when he's like, the game is rigged, people. Yeah. The game is rigged. The game is rigged, people, the game is rigged people, the game is rigged. The game is rigged people, the game is rigged. And you're like, the game is rigged. I think what you're describing is the horseshoe.

It's the horseshoe in many ways. If you are very, very, very, very, very rich, you see the world in a way that can make you a conspiracy theorist because you're like, wait, government leaders will just do things because I said this or I can make this happen when people said you couldn't make it happen and all of a sudden time and days is like fake. And then if you're very, very, very, very poor on the other side, you're sort of living in the same world. You're like, this is a conspiracy.

I work hard, but my money just disappears. And all of a sudden I don't have a house and how it's almost like the horseshoe they meet on the other side. Yeah, it's different forms of marginalization, because life is in the middle. It's like in the mundane. Yeah, no, that's true. It's getting on the bus, it's waiting for the tube, it's being in the supermarket. Once you like, I can't imagine a world where I can go into a supermarket and pay for something,

you're going to believe in conspiracy because you're just like, you just not engaging with life at a certain plane, a certain level. CB I mean, I think one of the mechanisms that works really well in that regard is, and people like Trump understand this, is when you take away people's hope, all they have to operate from is their fear, right? And when all people have left to operate from his fear, you get conspiracy theories, you get pizza gate, you get people trying to assassinate politicians, and then you get people like Trump who know how to weaponize that fear, who know how to use it in a way that gets him to be president for better or worse. If you can keep people hopeful, then you can keep people from going off that deep end.

And that's where the country is now. It's those people versus people going, wait a minute, are you serious? Is this what we're really up against now as a country? And that's just a ticking time bomb waiting to fall apart, right? It is a Boeing airplane waiting to fall apart. I see what you did there. The United States of Boeing writes, is it diversity, equity and inclusion or is it the fact that the United States has not invested into itself the way it said it would and has

not delivered on its promise? That my friends is the ultimate question. Well, this was fun. This was really fun. Trayvon, thank you for joining us man. I hope you come back again. Yeah anytime. You know we'll make sure Josh has more anniversaries. Good luck with your size 16 shoes. That also means you have size 16 socks which is actually no confusing. You know what's funny another and this is and this is a conspiracy theory too is the socks are only size 13. Yeah. And I don't know why they fit.

No one makes size 16 socks. They all go up to 13, yet they still fit. You're definitely coming back on. We've got a lot to talk about. And if, and if I die, it wasn't suicide. It was the sock people. It was the sock industry. All right, Joe, this was fun.

All right, guys. Bye. This was fun. Alright guys. Bye. Bye. What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions and Fullwell 73. The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Ben Winston, Sanaz Yamin and Jodie Avigan.

Our senior producer is Jess Hackl. Marina Henke is our producer. Music, Mixing and Mastering by Hannes Brown. Thank you so much for listening. Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now?