What's Your Drama - A Busy Body & Opposite Sex Friendships

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

This week has obviously been incredibly painful and tragic so if you need a time-out to get your mind off how f-cked humankind can be, let us distract you. Maybe a picture of Lainey taking a leak in my backyard will help? Maybe talking about how HOT Harry Styles is will help? We got you. Here's the picture, as well as our text string about it this morning: (Visit https://www.laineygossip.com/Whats-Your-Drama-Podcast/Category/2395 to see the embedded image) Then we tackle your drama! Our first letter comes from "J.C." who is trying to figure out what to do with his jealous girlfriend. J.C.'s best friend happens to be a woman and that has got his girlfriend straight tripping. Lainey and I are a bit split on our advice so if you want to throw your opinions in the ring feel free to email me. Then we hear from "Midnight". She's stuck living with her bf's brother who is, in short, a nightmare. While her details are slim as f*ck, we help as best we can. Midnight if you're reading this, we need an update.   Finally, we end on "America" who feels like she's in the middle of some friend drama and her mind is spinning on what to do and how to help. While she has good intentions our advice is simple: BUTT OUT. We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!     Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So I didn't know that was a thing. Well, mine are big and I slouch. So, right. So I've been pressing them against your stomach. The bottom of the. Okay. Yes. Okay.

Well, that's real attractive now. Painting this gorgeous picture of myself. That along with your picture of you peeing in my backyard. You are a fucking vision. I'm hot. Yeah. I'm hot. Harry Styles, come for me.

He's not totally. Hi, I'm Lainey Lewis. talk show host and entertainment reporter. I'm also the editor of LaneyGossip.com and I am a BTS fan. Yeah, you are.

I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in Canada. I'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on LaneyGossip.com. And I am not

a big BTS fan. But this is What's Your Drama? Where we gossip about you. you wrote about it and it was two days ago and this is now gonna by the time this goes up it's gonna be four days but i really do want to express that i am a harry styles convert now after that grammy performance my whole idea of him changed he's like how did you not see him

that way before well i think what changed is that i know that he likes an older woman and i feel like now even though i am not olivia wild i feel like i have a chance and that makes it more interesting now yeah and like olivia isn't even his first older woman like i mean it's not like he just started dating older women with her i mean he's he's dated older women before so it is a thing for him but older but i'm finding this again attractive that he is dating someone with children that's that's exciting and then then you think about like the Nick Jonas's who are also dating older women I don't know like this seems like a little bit of a trend which is very refreshing to me and it slightly turns me on right no plus he looks great oh he looks he has

he's had a glow up because of her fuck like I I that everything he was doing for his Grammy's performance was lighting it up for for not just us for everybody I think that there was there was like lubrication all over the place well I even looked at Corey and I was like would you like kind of like kind of want to dress like that and I think in a weird way the fact that he can like express himself with so much freedom is it makes I think men envious too because Corey loves a costume. If Corey could dress up in costume all the time, he would do that, but he doesn't obviously have the balls to do that. Okay. So let me ask you this. I didn't know this about Corey that he likes dressing up. So, but I also know that you do like games. Like you like playing

games. No, I don't. No, I don't. You are so competitive. That's why. No, I am competitive, but that's the reason why I don't like playing games. Okay. Can I just finish? Yes. Yes. Yes. If I organized a Zoom murder mystery night where everybody has to come in character, do you know what those are? Yeah, I know what those are. Don't you think Corey would be into it? Yes, he would be into it. He would say he wasn't and then he'd come with the best weirdo, like, revolving costumes.

Is that something that people are doing on Zoom now? I, yes. And I'm trying to organize one. Would you be in? Oh, so you've already put the invites out. You're asking me now. No, I have not put invites out. Who else have you talked to about this?

I've talked to Duanna, Lorella, and Fiona. Okay, how many people are involved in this? But I only just got the package. There's a package? Yeah, it's a whole involved game where everyone gets assigned a character and then we show up and we are in character and we all have to figure out who the murderer is. Yeah, I love that.

I can do that. Okay, so I'm going to be working on this. Do you send us costumes or we obviously we come up with? No. So what I would do is once I fucking get my shit together. So it's going to probably be like two weeks from now. Oh, this is that everybody has a chance to gather. So but I need to get through the tutorial.

It's like quite involved. So do we have to read scripts and stuff? I remember I did this like three decades ago with like friends at a birthday party. You don't have to read scripts necessarily, but you do get a character profile. So you have to behave according to your character. Oh my God, Duanna is going to be so extra. The only thing is she might like actually be so like. It will be drama class.

The rest of us will, yes, be traumatized. But yeah, so I have to figure out what to do. Like, cause I just got the instruction package. How much was this thing? Just out of curiosity, cause this could be interesting for people who are listening. It's, I think the box set that it comes in is maybe $80 or so that's not cheap anyway so but it's so anyway I as the host because it was kind

of like I think I learned about it and then I like I'm throwing it out there as the host I am going to either assign people characters or I'm gonna like send it all to everybody and you like it's a free-for-all and no no no no you should assign but I feel like assigning would be because you know fucking duanna who's gonna like and i know me too list so i don't want to fight and be like i don't know and ask a million questions whereas like i should just tell her what to do yes do that um but then i also have to give you guys enough lead time so you can secure and figure out whatever you have at home to make your costume or to like get a close approximation with whatever is at home oh okay yeah i'm into that i'm into that so there's a winner so i can

win yes yeah oh okay great yeah why are we talking about I wanted to talk about Harry Styles but you've taken me on a murder mystery we took because because okay you were talking about whether or not Corey would I don't know dress like Harry well now I'm over it I've now I'm not I don't care I now I'm interested in this murder mystery that I can't wait for us to do okay good but let it be known that Harry Styles now is I think probably like maybe my number two right now who's number one I don't know I leave that one open that's flex but these two so there's it's it's open right now yeah I'm not I'm not sure anybody that I'm like who was the last person to be number one I mean it's always been Josh Hartnett but I will that's I feel like you that

wow that's 20 years old now like he's aged he's aged really well he's still really good yeah I haven't really, like, looked at him recently. Oh, he is a babe. He is not. Let me just check this. I know that Machine Gun Kelly is your number one at this current moment, which makes me want to fucking barf everywhere. Fuck you.

Not number one. All I said with our other friend the other day with you, socially distanced. Yes. Outside. Outside. Is that I could see him being a good bang. Bleh. No.

That's what I said. And she agreed. I did not say he was my number one. What the fuck? Who is your number one? Let me see. Oh, well, you don't care about this person right now. It's a Korean actor.

Oh, okay. Well, there, it's a revolving door for you. He's a Korean, but I think that he's a Korean actor that meets your type. Okay. Like snowboard-y type. Oh. Yeah. Oh, please, please pass pictures along after this podcast.

My spot, my number one spot's open, so you never know. okay do we want to talk about the time i peed in your yard um yeah i mean this was part of the socially distanced uh hang that we did and you have a very small bladder but this is the reality of covid where even when you are allowed to see people you don't go inside right yeah and the problem is that when you can't go inside and you have to pee where the fuck do you pee for you you peed in my backyard behind my bushes well it's because I walked over it takes 20 minutes to get to your place 20-25 minutes to get to your place which I the I only walk to your place and I walk home so I and you were like rushing me that day I was trying to stay home longer so I

could get the all the water out of my system you fucking asshole i know that's true i was i was telling you to like get here right away but that's the thing that's why i found our hangouts at duanna's backyard challenging because i you're there you're there to socialize and drink and consume liquids but yeah but the thing about duanna is she did let us because she has like a good basement bathroom downstairs i have a bathroom sorry i have a basement bathroom that i could in theory have let you in too but i didn't sorry you fucking piece of shit i know because i don't want you can just pee in my backyard i'm not even like i'm not opposed to that well yeah i had to fucking pee in your backyard behind your bushes i have picture evidence that i i wish i could post

the good one of your butt but you won't let me do that so i'll post a picture of you and how you've disappeared behind, like you were so sly that you were able to just hide directly behind a very narrow bush. So we will, we will post that. Okay. Are we ready? Yes. Are we ready for questions? Yes. Okay. Here we go. Hey ladies, Asha, my little sister suggested I write in cause I'm getting desperate and her just dump her advice is not as helpful as she seems to think. Here goes. My girlfriend keeps telling me I need to put some unnecessary boundaries in my relationship with my best friend, but I think she's being unfair. I met my best friend Devin when I was six. We're now 29 and we've been a crew of two ever since. We've never had a romantic

relationship and there's no unrequited feelings on either side. We're truly just best friends. My girlfriend knows this, yet she still complains about how close we are. I met my girlfriend a little over two years ago. She is sweet and funny and we have a great relationship when she doesn't let her jealousy get in the way. From pretty much the beginning of our relationship, me having a woman best friend has been an issue for her. She says she doesn't think men and women can just be friends as one always develops feelings. She also thinks that's doubly the case when both parties are, in her words, hot. I'm not an ugly guy and my best friend is indeed very attractive, but i genuinely do not have romantic feelings for her my sister her my sister best friend and i

have had numerous conversations with her explaining wow sorry all of this is like all three of them have had a conversation i'm not sure if i'm not sure if at the same time but they've all spoken with the girlfriend okay explaining there's nothing nor has there ever been anything going on. I even explained to her that if didn't happen in high school or college when we were both humping anything with a pulse, then it definitely wasn't happening now when we are both adults in committed relationships. Side note, Devin is engaged to someone from our college friend group. It's been two years and my GF still acts weird when I go to Devin's to hang out or if we'd just do shit together and not invite her to join.

Both Devin and I have actively tried to cut back on things we know irritate her, like our hugging, inside jokes, bi-weekly best friend dinners. It's now monthly. Devin even stopped using her key to let herself into my condo, even though we've had open access to each other's homes since we were teenagers. Yet my girlfriend still complains about our closeness. I love my girlfriend, but what she doesn't seem to realize is if she continues to push me to choose,

I will and it won't be her. Devin is my family and I absolutely won't be with or marry someone who puts me in a position where I have to give up my friendship with her. So my question is, what should I do? Do I just end the relationship or should I continue to try and hope she comes to finally accept that I love her and genuinely want us to work? Looking forward to your advice, JC. Okay, wait.

So I just want to figure. Do the PS. There's a PS. Oh, PS. The sister here. Oh, here's the sister. chiming in. Love your pod. Thank you. I think he should dump her. Devin is our family. And although the girlfriend is nice enough, she has caused unnecessarily. Although the girlfriend is nice

enough, she has caused unnecessary drama. OK, right. So what should we tell JC? I love. Sorry, I would really love more male questions. So if you are a male listening to this and are like on the fence to write us in, please just write us in because sometimes dude drama is really good. I like how like straightforward it is too. Yeah. Okay, JC. So do we – okay.

So here's the situation. JC and Devin have been friends since they were what, six? Two. She said like two or something. I don't know. very, very, like they've been, they've been friends forever. Six. Okay, fine. JC and Devin met when they were six. Devin's a part of JC's family. The sister loves JC, whatever. And Devin is, has been with, or no, wait, sorry. JC has been with his girlfriend for two years and the

girlfriend is super jealous of this relationship. Yes. Yeah. Okay. So what's your take? Well, I mean, I, I mean, it's hard for me not to think about myself. Like I have, I'm just trying to think of my one, I have two really close guy friends. One of them whose name is Adam and I am his best friend. And I like definitely vet all. Adam's hot. He's single. If anybody wants to fucking mingle, slip into my emails and I can hook you up. Anyway. Um, I like vet all his girlfriends I am like I am not going anywhere either and there is no sexual anything between the two of us nor have there ever been and you're hot okay sure but my point being I think I if they had banged before if JC and Devin had had some prior sexual history that would make I could maybe

understand why Devin would be suspect and a little bit uncomfortable that this person has keys and is just like fucking rolling up into the apartment whenever but yeah I think that these I believe JC I think that they are absolutely family they're friends and he is not going to um he's not going to jeopardize that for a woman who can't handle that and I agree so I feel like and I also am going to give JC the benefit of the doubt here because he seems like he has the patience to have explained this to Devin before, and she's still not getting it. And the quality I love least in a human being is jealousy. And that starts to permeate in different ways. That becomes control. That becomes like, I don't know. I don't like jealousy because it can unravel a relationship

pretty quickly. So for that, if we're just going to like, Cole's notes this, I would say, JC, your gut instinct along with your sister's is right. It's time to probably, she's probably not the right one. Already? JC doesn't seem like he wants to throw it in yet. That's why his sister's been telling him this. Yeah, because. But he's writing to us.

Some dudes like a little drums. Some dudes like a little bit of drums. And I think he's one of those people who might like a little bit of drums. That's why fucking Devin's kicking around. But go on. Yeah, like I'm not sure. I think, yes, the sister.

hello we hear you like you know and that's sash's take i i i think that there are definitely warning signs here for sure i'm not gonna say there aren't i do want to just maybe give the girlfriend one last chance she's had two years i actually understand where she's coming from not just because maybe she's insecure and whatever but i do think that there's been some cultural influence in here that's making her that way like do tell I don't know what you mean by cultural I think when you're in love with people in I think we all know when you're in love sometimes your brain doesn't work yes right that's the truth logic and so I think that yes the girlfriend probably has a few insecurity issues for whatever reason who among us isn't

insecure. Of course. Yeah. And then on top of that, this best friends eventually falling in love thing is a rom-com trope. Okay. Yes. I see now where you're going. Okay. You know, there are so many books and movies and you know, where we see it, everybody else in the world sees these two best friends who don't see it in themselves until something happens and they do finally see it and so even though logically JC has been like Devin and I are just homies nothing has happened she clearly Devin's getting married yeah right yeah it's so hard to undo all the cultural conditioning it's really really hard I don't I don't think so I get where you're going but it's not you're either jealous you're either like a wildly jealous person or you're not or

you're somewhere in the middle i would not be bothered i am not bothered by cory's close girlfriends and lord knows he's fucked all of them before so like and i that doesn't bother me in fact i really like it when i see that he's friends with girls because i know good for you good for you that you well then jc said fucking ring me up i'm a jealous person i know you are so but jc He should be with me, not with someone like you. But he's not. He loves her. If JC didn't love her, if he didn't say in writing, I love my girlfriend, then I wouldn't care either.

I would be like, JC, yeah, I don't even know why you wasted all this energy. But he put all this energy into writing to us. You can love the wrong person for you. Yeah, but I just don't know if I want to throw it all out yet is what I'm saying. Okay. I say there are some things to consider and some, some actions to take. Otherwise our show is going to be 10 minutes, Sasha. So, I mean, listen, can we talk this out a little bit? Okay, fine. Let's workshop this then. Go on. What are some things that he can make room for? I want to say that I like that JC has made some concessions. Like the key thing,

I would be uncomfortable with the key thing. The key thing is guts to go. Even me, I think that that has got to go. Great. So you've conceded that the key thing isn't great. So over the last two years, the girlfriend has had to work her way past all. Can we just give the girlfriend a little give? So over the last two years, she's had to work her way through these hugs, the friendly physical touches. She's had to get past all of that.

And JC has had to pull that back. She had to see it, though. OK, so now I'm talking about the conditioning from rom-coms and stories about the best friends, seeing your boyfriend hugging this beautiful girl knowing that the beautiful girl has a key to the place they have sleepovers they have dinners whatever so i think that now that jc has curbed all that back you have to wait right like that build-up in her needs time to recede you can't snap your fingers and be like okay poof to your uh insecurities and we're done so that's number one like let's give it some time to breathe okay thank you sasha you just made my point about the

key thank you um i would also if we're talking about like cultural cultural um conditioning and stories you know the the story that bounced out to me because you know i love rom-coms and i'm all about all these kinds of stories is my best friend's wedding i know i was thinking about which is right like you know Devin is Julia Roberts JC's girlfriend is Cameron Diaz but Julia Roberts wasn't married or getting married at that point but fine sure but it's the closest one and the guy ended up with Cameron Diaz and I want JC to like sell himself as the like choosing Cameron Diaz. That's what you're doing. Maybe watch the movie together, JC. And right. And at the end, be like, that's me. She's you. You're Cameron Diaz. This is what's going to happen. Although

Devin isn't conniving like Julia Roberts was in the movie and trying to get him. But my point is, is that like that can be a shift point where we can all see ourselves as Cameron Diaz instead of like the Julia Roberts. My only ask for JC would be, does he make Devin feel special? Does he make Devin feel like he Devin the best friend oh sorry sorry does JC make his girlfriend feel like his boo like are they does he make her feel like secure so he needs to ask those questions to himself um like is he like too bad so sad girlfriend you're just gonna have to put up with this shit I wouldn't love that as um the attitude coming back to me if I was the girlfriend sounds like it's the sister's attitude oh oh boop you're gonna call out the sister the sister's trying

to protect her her um brother which i get yeah and i trust my family members if my sister told me that my boyfriend was whack and jealous i would listen to her so yeah i don't know i just sort of feel like i get where you're coming from i get that you you are you are you know you're letting your jealous, you're like, you're riding with your jealous girl, girlfriend. I'm trying to like put ourselves in the girlfriend's headspace. I think that that looking at a situation from all angles is how to get like to move forward. I mean, everything that JC has done. It's not like we're talking about Q and honors.

No, I know that everything, I just feel like everything that JC and Devin have done minus the keys to the apartment has been pretty above board so that's why I'm like are you JC with someone who will always kind of create drama like is Devin the only one or does she not like it when you talk to any kind of female like what is her whole MO when it comes to that like those are the things that I kind of need to know but I'm still but if I'm judging this by face value which is what I'm doing most of the time when we answer these questions is yeah like do I think you should end it right now no should you have a little time to breathe like you said Lainey yes but I don't know I'm not feeling like this one's going to pan out so great

I don't think I don't know like JC's dropping things like if I'm gonna marry this person they have to be whatever yeah JC's clearly thought about it well but I think JC's thinking hey if if this is a problem now I don't want to be with someone who is jealous who can't accept Devin into their lives yeah and I'm what I'm saying is that like I get it and it's annoying I think the this point of view along with the sister's point of view is based on just who they are sometimes you have to step outside of that little circle and imagine what the experience might be like for the girlfriend she meets this guy she's super into him his best friend is beautiful who has a key to his apartment but don't forget don't forget they've all sat fucking the

girlfriend down and being like hey girlfriend nothing is going on you are in a safe environment we are just like basically all family for sure and that is like super extra and I get it like and she's still not able to get past it so I'm saying like on her last legs for sure I'm just not I just don't see the right now let's cut it out because I wanted to give JC and his sister another perspective in terms of how it might feel for this girl his like over the last two years what it might feel like it's it's hard to it's hard to just let go of of an emotion that you've been carrying for a long time Sasha like I know not everybody is like you I know but so but but my point being not you're right not I might be a little bit of an anomaly here but I'm we're also

talking to two women who are involved in this like drama which is the sister and Devin they must know like they're both women they must know about this you know this um this kind of trope that you're talking about or this kind of like culture of rom-com stuff they know it it's been fucking absorbed by osmosis through them so that it's not like they're like clueless they they must understand so much so that they all had to have a conversation to girlfriend to settle her fucking drums down so i don't know i'm even saying like i'm even thinking what how out of control does it have to be that everyone has to have some intervention i'm saying that i think that this girl might be a little just not well matched for the very easy breezy jc family dynamic

yeah so i'm not blaming the girlfriend a possibility not blaming the girlfriend i get i get that she would have qualms over this but is it a well-matched situation i'm gonna say no i'm you know what we'll see i mean these are good things to work out now if she's going to join their little crew right but 100 i i i deliberately said that join their little crew because this is a little crew here you know to the point where the sister has to jump in and be like yo he should break up with her Devin is our family when I read that now I'm trying to imagine what it's like for an outsider to come in and you've got JC Devin and the sister as a crew from time and you're a newcomer and you see all this history the inside jokes as JC said that he's trying to stop the

hugging the key the family the history like you're coming in and you're the girlfriend and you get invited let's say for Thanksgiving dinner Devin's there too and everybody has a shorthand including this beautiful girl who's the best friend and you don't like it is it may not bother you and congratulations everybody the secure the people out there but it does bother some people I get that it bothers some people and it you're and I don't know now you're skewing it where you're like this is like a gang of cool kids. Like you're basically painting it like we're that's how it feels. I don't think that that's how they intend it to be. But I think, you know, if we were to step outside ourselves and see how other people view us, it may not be what intent what we're

intending, but it doesn't change the fact that that's their lens. I mean, this goes back to what we were talking about before we pre-taped how we are we come off you and me come off as major assholes to new people there you go okay so something to think about for JC and his sister do you guys foster like a dynamic where the girlfriend feels like the odd one out I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and say no I like these people for some reason but if for some chance that you know you're right and you very much you very well could be that they create like this, like you are an outsider vibe to the girlfriend, then yes, they should check themselves and alter their behavior. Yeah. Like the same conversations where you're sitting the girlfriend

down and you're saying, I'm not into him. I'm not into JC. Everything's fine. Are you actually modifying behavior in other ways, like embracing her and making her part of the crew? I'd like more information on this. I would hope that they will write us because I want to win this argument. Great. JC, can you please send us a sequel? No, please, JC. Please, please, please. We need to know.

Okay? Okay. All right. Next question. Hey there, Sasha. I'm kind of new to this and I prefer to be anonymous, but you can call me Midnight. Oh, I like that name. I like when people give themselves nicknames like Midnight.

All right, Midnight. I've been with my boyfriend for about four years and his brother just recently moved in with us to try and help his brother. Wait, what? So they've been together for four years, and his brother just recently moved in with us to try and help his brother. So the brother moved in, and the reason why is to help the brother. Who, the one that just moved in? Correct.

Or the one that they're dating? She's dating a man, and the man's brother has moved in. They're trying to help the brother. Okay. I've lived with my boyfriend for a long while, and we've previously had two very lazy and inconsiderate roommates. It's unfortunate to say my boyfriend's brother is exactly the same way. He's just 10 times worse. His brother constantly death glares me and says rude and hurtful things.

He's constantly trying to tell me how I need to change my attitude and fix myself when he's doing nothing to keep his anger attitude and mental state in check. He's causing issues for my boyfriend and as the days go on, they fight more and more. I'm lost and confused and don't know what to do. All I know is that my boyfriend's brother is an asshole and he needs to get off his high horse. Please help me. Thank you.

Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. A little thin on details. Little thin. Yeah. Like, I was with this person midnight. Sorry.

I was with midnight right up until the final sentence. Which was what? What should I do? All I know is that my boyfriend's brother is an asshole and he needs to get off his high horse. Right. Yeah. so midnight's boyfriend's brother has moved into the apartment and he is messy and um gives her death stares and and mean and is mean i mean this is hard because i'm i'm as you just said this

podcast would be really short because the answer i want to give is can you kick him out like what's going on here um i don't know why that's not an option i do understand that you know finances are tough we're in a pandemic people don't have as many options as they would normally but it's pretty fucking hardcore for someone to move into somebody's home and um seemingly be aggressive and unpleasant yeah um have you ever has that anything like this ever happened to you like have you ever had like a boyfriend's like a family member move in move in no okay i've never had a boyfriend's family member move in um i guess what threw me off is that midnight said that the brother moved in because her boyfriend was trying to help yes and and help is in quotes so my mind

immediately went to like mental health yes right like but it sounds like maybe we should it sounds like we should approach this as like help him out like he's short on cash okay he needs a place to stay and take the mental health out of it. Like I, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, either way, you're still in a predicament. You still have to help that person. Yeah. Like, is it a, is it a favor situation in terms of the word help? Yeah. Or is it a like crisis help? Correct. Yeah. Right. And so that was my initial read was like a crisis help, but it sounds like it's more of a favor help. Right. So let's let's go there. OK, sounds good. And if this turns out to be like a crisis thing, then it's a totally different ballgame. Totally. I hear you. I think. Yeah. And I guess

that explains why she's calling him an asshole and he should get off his high horse. Right. Because here's a guy who's like, oh, I just fucking need to crash somewhere for a little while. Right. You know, and then isn't doing much. Right. OK. Wow. This sucks. It sucks. it totally sucks um i i don't i don't know why there are why the option here is not for the brother to get step in and find another place to live because he can't be finding this a joyous fucking occasion either like if he clearly doesn't i don't know he clearly has his backup for midnight and is not enjoying this so i would imagine the discomfort alone would get him to move out. But if he is tight on cash, if he is tight on resources, this might be his only option.

I don't know. What are you doing? You're you. I'm just like you're reading the three sentences. There's not that many. Like, as you said, there aren't that many details, but I'm just trying to see if Midnight actually said to us, I have tried addressing that. Like, you know, I wish I could no midnight. If, if, if this is like a shitty roommate, then all roommates get to tell each other, should be able to tell each other when another is slacking. So I just want to know whether or not you've essentially said to your roommate who happens to be your boyfriend's brother, Hey, can you fucking, I don't know, stop leaving your just tissues around or I don't know, make dinner once in a while, clean the fridge. Or how about this? I don't know. Don't talk to

me that way. Stop fucking looking at me like that. Why are you looking at me like this? Like you're making me uncomfortable. I think that part of it is, can you articulate your frustration? Well, also, which is stuff that we've talked about in prior podcasts is why isn't your boyfriend saying anything? Like, why isn't your boyfriend saying, Hey bro, don't look and talk to my girlfriend that way. Like you're, I think if you, if you haven't had a conversation, if you don't feel like you have the confidence maybe to step in and be like, Hey brother, um, or boyfriend's brother, I, I, you're creating an environment that is like messing my vibe. I also don't like how you're kind of slinging attitude at me. Like we need to readjust this and find a happy medium.

Okay. So if midnight wants to do that, go for it. If you haven't done that, you should do that. uh secondly you should be telling your boyfriend to inter fucking veen now like boyfriend has to tell brother stop being a dick like if you're gonna be here if we're all helping each other out then you can't deflect bullshit to my girlfriend right like those are the two things that have to be done two of those things one of those things have to be done either midnight speaks up for herself and like both midnight you can again if you've described this as a roommate situation which it is and also a like a somewhat relative yeah because that's your boyfriend your boyfriend's brother I don't know why you can't just be like just I mean you have no like you've

given us no details here so I'm not really sure why you can't just be like fuck off or I don't appreciate this or whatever I just like to know what you know where the communication is has this guy been just allowed to run wild and hasn't been checked because here's the thing. Yes. He's a total asshole and he's mean, but also when we allow people to step all over us, they keep stepping all over us. So yeah. I want to know if you've put a stop to it. Yeah. How about if she's done both of those things i i if if she's done both of those things um then this is a situation where if as she said the more like mean this guy's being the more it's affecting her boyfriend and his mental health and clearly her mental health then she has to prioritize herself yes good and she

has to say this is uh destroying me i my happiness and healthiness is being affected so he needs to go yeah yeah and i don't think there's anything wrong with that yeah it's not like the brother it's not like the brother she's making her brother choose so don't think don't get that in your head that you're like making you're choosing exactly you're choosing you as like corny as that sounds but you're you're choosing yeah i agree okay midnight keep us posted midnight yeah keep us Yeah, if you'd like to give us more details. Yeah, if you could give us like one more sentence. Okay, next.

Dear Sasha and Lainey, the short version and obviously pseudonyms are throughout. Alexis, Amber, and Blake and I have been close friends since 2004. Alexis has been bad about being in touch with us, but I happened to find out that she's pregnant through a mutual friend who is not friends with Blake and Amber. Blake and Amber are already really sad and a little angry about Alexis being so unresponsive. And I think Alexis not telling them she's pregnant is going to break their relationship. I feel stuck in the middle. I asked Alexis to at least tell Blake, who'd been her maid of honor herself, and preferably Amber too. She hasn't gotten around

to it yet and gets unresponsive when I poke her about it. She's due in April. I don't want Amber and Blake to feel hurt. I don't want Alexis to stop being friends with Blake and Amber. Ideally for me, Alexis would tell Blake and Amber before this baby comes and Amber, Blake, and I would road trip to meet Alexis's baby this summer in my fantasy world where the pandemic has subsided and we're all vaccinated. I can't control others' behavior or feelings though, so I suspect hurt feelings and unraveling relationships are going to continue, what should I do? The current situation, Alexis is pregnant and due in April. I suspect she struggled to get pregnant and that was a major source of stress for her over the last couple of years, in addition to

several other known stressors like moving and buying a house. And I know for a fact that she's had a really rough pregnancy. I also suspect that stress is part of why she's been so uncommunicative. I had a socially distant outdoor hang with Blake and Amber the other day where they were talking about their sadness for Alexis, not talking to them anymore. I fear their friendship is about to end. I'm feeling more stuck in the middle. The question, what's the least asshole thing for me to do in this situation? Do I tell Blake and Amber so they don't feel like I'm keeping secrets from them or colluding with Alexis to keep them out of the loop? Do I not tell them because it's not my news to share i don't want amber and blake to feel hurt i don't want alexis to stop being

friends with blake and amber um ideally is this a really oh yeah this is a little bit repetitive but let's figure this out again ideally for me alexis would tell blake and amber before the baby comes oh no this is this is a repeat of the vaccination road trip oh um okay okay that There's all the details, and we're hearing from America. Okay. So we've got America is the person writing to us. Alexis is the one who's pregnant. Blake and Amber are the ones who don't know that Alexis is pregnant.

Yeah. Okay. Sometimes I think, like, I feel like I've been this friend where I'm trying to peacekeep and, like, juggle all the drama. And I hate that role because you end up being a fucking busybody for no fucking goddamn reason. And I know that America has good intentions, but there's busybody written all over this. It's like, I got to tell this person and do I fucking FedEx them this fucking contract? I get it, but it's a little bit fucking, it's a little OTT at this point.

and i feel like america is like going to have a nervous breakdown because she's thinking about all the different things that could unravel and so i get that she's scrambling for a solution here and while i know it is with good intention and good heart i would back away from this fucking dumpster fire like i would just back away because it's it's not it's not america's place to tell Alexis's, like, baby news. That's not a thing. And you can, and I think it's allowed in friendships, to keep secrets from each other

that are not supposed to be leaked out yet. Like, what is wrong with that? Not everyone needs to fucking know everyone's goddamn business. Yeah. And just because someone was your maid of honor, like, lots of things can change, right? Like, I totally agree with you.

I think, America, you're getting too wrapped up in this. But America's going to say, yeah, but I hang out with Blake and Amber and they're talking about it all the time. So what should I say when they're talking about why Alexis isn't friends with them anymore? You just, I don't know. Yeah, like, I guess Alexis is going through some stuff. Like, if you're so fucking curious, reach out to her. Well, why has that not been an option? Why can't those two friends, with all their hurt feelings, reach out to Alexis?

And if Alexis doesn't write back or if she's not interested in, like, telling them the news, then she clearly does not want them to know. Yeah. I think that, like, you know, if Alexis clearly doesn't want to talk about this because you said that she's, like, avoiding it, it's unresponsive. So can you, first of all, can you just try talking to Alexis about other things? Right? Yeah. That would be great. So on that end, if Alexis doesn't even want to engage you about Blake and Amber, great.

Then you don't have to have that kind of stress. You can just be friends with Alexis at face value and care for each other like with your relationship and not worry about Blake and Amber. As for Blake and Amber, when you're hanging out with them and, you know, I have to say have a new dream. Maybe you can road trip with Blake and Amber to see some other friend. Yeah. Right?

like I get it and things and we all have these idealized friendship dreams like right now

America is is describing kind of like you know again I know I think

I make things is this a rom-com again Jesus no but it's girlfriends it's girlfriends okay right like we watch that movie

you watch that movie I'm sure where like four people go to like whatever New Orleans and we can all that's a great dream isn't that a great dream

yeah So I get that that's a fantasy, but I just don't think that, I think that this fantasy has to either be put on hold or you need to rewrite it. It's okay. I think America's scared when, sorry, Blake and Amanda say, America, did you fucking know Alexis was pregnant and didn't tell us? I think she's scared about that. She's, and I don't think America needs to be scared about that.

Like I hold lots of secrets from friends. Like, I don't tell everybody everything. And then if anyone was to call me on that, I'd be like, A, that is not my place to say it. And B, I was told in secrecy. And because I'm a good friend, I don't fucking leak shit. Especially with shit like a pregnancy. It is not your news to say to anybody. Well, it is kind of weird because Alexis is giving birth, like, tomorrow.

So it's not like she's, right, she said the baby's coming in April. So she's, like, eight months pregnant, right? Is it March? Yeah. April, yeah. It's not like, you know, we're in like that under three months where you have to keep things shut, like hush hush. But still, I think it still applies. You don't tell other people's secrets.

You just don't. Well, there are secrets and then there's when someone's pregnant. It's just someone else's body. Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. That's the thing. Yeah.

Right? So I know, I get it that Alexis is almost like almost there and she's had a difficult pregnancy and whatnot. But it's also like someone else's news, someone else's family. Totally. So America, if Blake and Amber would hold that against you, that's a black mark on Blake and Amber. So I just wouldn't stress about that. But again, to your original point, Sasha,

stop stressing about all of it. It's such a time waster. If you just take a beat and look at all the stress that you have compiled on yourself over this, you're going to have to like take a little bit of a giggle because this is way too much. You're like way too involved. And no one's actually even asked you to be this involved.

you were just like, hey, I'm going to insert myself into this. Again, I understand that it's all good attention, but like you just remove yourself from this. It's very easy to remove yourself from this. Stop talking about it. Stop thinking about it. Especially on the Alexis side. On the Alexis side, it shouldn't be because Alexis is unresponsive and doesn't seem to want to talk about Blake and Amber. So that's great. As for Blake and Amber and all their questions and whatnot, like, you know, if you just don't want to talk, you can't talk about Alexis. Just be like, I don't know why. I'm sorry. I feel bad. I don't know why. Yeah. You know, maybe reach out, write her a letter or just, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Um, it's, but I get the sense too, that she's

being sucked into those conversations and not exactly like it. And then in a, in a way, enjoying being there. Oh yeah. Busy bodies love being busy bodies. Yeah. Yeah. I, I hope this helps. I'm still I'm calling you a busybody with heart. I do. I think you are a very good friend trying to make everyone happy, but busybody nonetheless. I think that's it, right? Yeah. I feel like we did a good job today, didn't we? Well, yeah, I think that we we try a good job because we tried and we didn't piece like just be like, Dumber, bye. But that's my vibe. So I'm sorry it's that's why you're part of this because you you try to elongate and and make sense of things not that i try to elongate but i know but you're like you know you like to massage i know

you like to massage shit out i don't okay well on that note um but i miss you though i feel like i saw you last week are you gonna tell me what were you doing yeah i'm gonna come what what were you doing you were just gonna show me you were gonna tell me you had to poo right no i was lifting my tits oh you must know because they're heavy because i don't know you lift them for what purpose like i don't because they're sticky because i'm not wearing a bra does anyone wear a bra these days i don't but i don't ever need to lift my tits up because i don't have any so i didn't know that was mine are big and i slouch so like look at my body position it's been like this right so i've been pressing them against

your stomach the bottom of the okay yes okay well that's real attractive now like painting this gorgeous picture of myself along with your picture of you peeing in my backyard you are a fucking vision i'm hot yeah i'm hot harry styles come for me that's what's so great he probably would he'd love okay well keep your questions coming to me at sasha at lady gossip.com and subscribe to us for every gay podcast please leave comments and reviews um thank you so much for listening we'll be back soon bye Thank you.