What's Your Drama - An Over Giver & Giving a Bone to Get a Bone

Episode Date: February 28, 2019

Welcome back to What's Your Drama!On today's show: Lainey has an itch to scratch and she's doing it in public. Then we get into your problems! How a mismatched love language can kill a relationship, when to get your bone on and our last question is *really* not a problem in our eyes.We hope you enjoy the show and make sure to send us feedback on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Pandora, or anywhere you get your podcasts. And keep your advice questions coming my way at [e-mail]. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hey what's your drama welcome to what's your drama i'm sasha i'm laney how are you i'm good i'm delirious i know so this is tuesday that we're recording after the oscars you are being a good sport by doing this podcast i haven't i went to sleep on saturday night and i haven't slept in a bed since yeah okay uh but i'm great i'm like you know at this point it's just your Yeah. I'm literally, no, not literally. I have something that might, I just want to get your opinion on something. It's sort of my drama worked into Hollywood drama. Okay. So you wrote about how much you love Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa. I can see you staring at me right now. So listen, I live for that couple. They are so fucking beautiful. Where's your butt? Butt. So, you know, you posted

that video of their behind the scenes yeah and it finally fucking dawned on me that lisa bonet is boring as fuck yes yes yes and the only reason why i like her i had to do some deep deep digging is because she's pretty that's the only reason why i like her i disagree with you so please come with me okay come at me with why i actually care about lisa bonet because yeah before you go in she was boring as fuck on that uh behind the scenes and then she was also super lame-o when ashley when uh she went on the oscar red carpet and ashley graham interviewed them and you know where i'm going with this yes and asked him to do the haka dance yeah okay i thought her reaction was lame oh that's not my read like you she gave the eye and she was like this is the oscars no lady this

is not happening. Yes. That is insulting. But she didn't have to do it in that many words. For her, it was just a look. And she says something like, this is that we're at the Oscars. And a hand gesture. Yeah. And I thought that was boss. Oh, I thought that was to take myself too seriously. Anyway, my thing is, I don't think, I think I'm off Lisa Bonet. I actually realized I don't really know anything about her other than she was on The Cosby Show. She's beautiful. She procreated the most beautiful child I've ever seen in my life, which is Zoe Kravitz. But that's about it. See, I don't read it that way. And I feel like it surprises me that you're not picking up on this. And I think this is why you should love her. Because she was giving you no personality.

That's not her jam to be viral. And like, that's his production company. And he was like out there and he's trying to like amp up his career, superhero, more movies. I know. She like works once a year, if that, and like goes and plants things. Yes. And so she does not want any attention. She doesn't actually want us to be obsessed with her. And the way that people get obsessed with people, especially now on social media, is

with personality. Then you start following them more. Then you start like, you know, fighting. Clamoring to get more details. I get that. And then fighting with people. So she deliberately is like, I'm not giving you any fucking reason to come and invade my life.

Why would I share all the cool things about myself? I'm not fucking Gwyneth Paltrow. I don't need to be like out there showing you how cool I am. I'm going to keep that locked in my private little hemp circle. You're not invited. And I'm going to fraud you out into thinking there's nothing here. I would love to bite on that carrot that you just dangled for me, but I don't buy it because it wasn't a I'm too cool for school. I'm not giving you a viral moment.

I'm not looking for a fucking viral moment. I was looking for one piece of anything. And I'm talking, fine, fuck the interview on the red carpet. She's doing a behind the scenes little… She's not doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it. Don't be in it at all.

if you're going to be in it, one smile. One smile doesn't mean I'm looking to like pierce your personal life. She had nothing. Come on. Nothing. To me, I saw that it was like, yeah. It was dull. It was dull. I am so, yes, it was deliberately dull. I don't think it was deliberately dull. Remember, this is a woman who, when she was… Denise Huxtable. Yes. Over the objections or not even telling him, knowing that he would freak out because she was his TV daughter. She went and did that Rolling Stone cover. Naked.

Yes. And then used that as her like active defiance to get from out under his thumb. You can't control me. And then did her own thing. Like what I'm saying is for your assertion to be like, I think she's dull. Like she's already shown us that she's got edge and she… When she was 20. She was punk rock like way before.

When she was 20. I still think she's pretty punk rock. Don't you think it's punk rock to not be ambitious in Holly? Like, to not be like, call my agent. Why am I not getting another movie role? Yes, I don't, I don't, the fame game to me is sad and tragic. I don't, that doesn't, that's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for personality.

It just dawned on me that she could, she's, I'm sure, wildly intelligent, loves fucking braiding hemp, as you said, doing all the circles of daisies. I get it. But I realized that for me, I'm more interested in her husband. And also that she, yeah, but that she actually just doesn't, I don't know why I'm interested in with her. And then I just realized that it's only my own vanity. I'm only interested in her because she's so fucking beautiful. Okay. But outside of that, I'm like, dull city. Oh, that's where you lose me. Like if the first part of the sentence is the thing is like, yeah, I just realized I only care about her because she's really hot. She's the most, like, I want to look like her. But I honestly, I cannot see your assertion that she's

dull. That's fine. Like, I think she's dull. That's all I wanted to say. I kind of just wanted to rock the boat, but I thought you'd get actually angrier than you did. Nope. You were just actually as smug as she was in that behind the scenes video. You're wrong. You're wrong. Yeah. What was I going to say? What's your drama? Okay. So if you people out there are squeamish and you don't like gross shit and gross shit talk, then maybe like pause. Pause or like do the quick talk thing so you don't have to listen to me talk about. This is either about your poo or your cold sore. Nope. Oh, okay. So Jacek's really going to love this story because it's one of his favorite stories. Okay. So I have, my dad has like probably one of the worst cases of psoriasis

in our country. We've talked about this before. So psoriasis is a skin condition and you're like skin flakes. You're very, very itchy. You have breakouts exacerbated by stress. And when it's really, really bad for dad, he like has to wear gloves because anything will irritate his skin. It's really, really dry, really, really itchy. And anyway, psoriasis can also lead to like psoriatic arthritis. So FYI, people out there who have arthritis or sorry, psoriasis, and you didn't know that connection, please do yourself a favor and check it out. Anyway, so because my dad has bad skin, I also have a bad skin gene in the sense of eczema. You have eczema? Dry patches. is I'm constantly worried about having psoriasis because I have itch flame zones.

So my skin gets really inflamed, super itchy. And so I need ointments and blah, blah, blah. It does not help, yes, everybody out there, that I shower three times a day. But that is also a mental health thing and like whatever. You can't manage all these things at the same time. Anyway, so for me, I have problem areas, right? like ankles, elbows, and also the genitalia area. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Copy. So like, and this is… And you got a scratch. That's where we're going. This is strict biology. I got a scratch.

Okay. Like those areas for some reason are like flame fire areas for a lot of people who have psoriasis or I don't know why. Maybe you guys don't. Anyway, but it's me. Okay. So I can control my itching in the daytime. Okay.

Right. But at night when we go to sleep, we lose our inhibitions and I give her down there. Yeah. To the point where like sometimes, and I, like it's so bad. My skin issues are so bad sometimes that it's very, very, like I've scratched my arm to bleed. Oh, I never knew this about you. Yeah. Okay. So you lose your inhibitions, you're sleeping. And so you give her wherever it's itching and it often itches. Like, my worst areas are, like, you know… Your crotch area. My pussy hair area.

Okay. And my anus. But mostly my pussy hair area. Okay. Okay? Okay. So, sometimes I scratch in the middle of the night so hard that Jacek wakes up. And… From the… kind of the thumping of the…

Of just, like, me making, like, relief sounds and, like, scratching sounds. Like, I'll just make it right now on the podcast. Okay. Right? So itchy. Yes. Right? Like think of… Yeah. Picture a cat scratching at a whatever. Yeah, yeah, no. I've felt it before. I get it. And so he likes to joke and he's like, you know, when you do that, you look like you're masturbating. Right. Right? Because your hand is down your pants and you're going at it. Whatever. So last year after the Oscars 2018, I always fly back on a red eye. So the schedule, everybody is, I don't sleep. Like I wake up Sunday morning at like four in the morning. Then we go into Oscars television broadcast. That goes until the end

of the show. And then we watch the Oscars. And then after the Oscars, about nine o'clock, like nine o'clock LA time, Duann and I start writing with Kathleen. And we work all night. Then Monday I have more TV hits than we have to finish. And then we don't get an LA flight back to Toronto until like 10.30. Right. So it's an overnight. I usually try and get an upgrade so I can lie flat in the pods and go to sleep. Last year, because I've, you know, I had a flare up, and because I was stressed from

Oscar weekend, I was itchy. Okay. I went into, like, you know, you only get three hours on those flights, LA to Toronto. So, I, like, put the bed down in the pod and I went to sleep. Yes. And so, now I'm on a plane. People can walk by me at any point. I woke up and my hand was in my pants.

Oh, God. And my skin was raw. This is this time? No, last year. Oh, this is last year. Okay. Last year. Hand down pants.

Now, hand down pants. In first class. Yeah. Now, they give you a blanket, right? Okay. So, I'm fully, fully covered under the blanket. Those blankets aren't big duvet covers. they're little sheets. They're not sheets actually. They're not bad. They're like,

you know, you're the parka that you're wearing today. Okay. That thickness. So there's some depth. There is. So I'm like, now I'm like, do you, do you think anybody walked by and look down at you and saw you scratching and making the faces of relief? And of course they did. Of course they did. And now it's an overnight flight. So most people are trying to sleep. Yes. And so there's not as much like an activity from the flight attendants, right? So I'm like, but there is a possibility that someone walked by my pod, looked down, and saw me with a hand. Was that a lady masturbating?

With a hand. At first class. Okay. So this year, here's my drama. Okay. This year, I just flew back, right? Yeah. This morning, landed in Toronto at 7.30 a.m.

Yeah. So last night on the plane, again, it's a stressful year. Flare-ups? My flare-up isn't as bad as last year, but it's not great. When I woke up, my hand was just skimming the waistband of my jeans. Okay. Did you have your duvet on you? But the duvet was below the waist.

I love this. Okay. So you had a post-scratch. It is also very possible that this year, if someone would have walked by, they wouldn't even have seen a duvet covering me. They would have seen my actual hand in my pants, given her. Listen, when I woke up, though, I didn't feel the way I feel usually when I've been scratching all night or whatever.

So hopefully I was just like, my hand was just there. Leisurely there as opposed to. Yeah. Getting ready. Oh. Did anyone side eye you when you like. No. Okay.

No, but like everybody, nobody makes eye contact on a plane. Sure. And no one wants to make eye contact with the person they just saw scratch their fucking cooch. Or they would have thought it was masturbating. Right. No one wants to acknowledge the person who is openly masturbating in first class. I was not doing that

I know so this is where this was the lead up you had anyway now I just yeah so this hopefully

people care enough or well sorry hopefully someone on your plane is listening to this podcast and you've explained that it's your psoriasis

and you're not just fucking dating off I'm trying to normalize psoriasis or I don't have psoriasis hopefully I will never get it but I am trying to normalize

the experience of people who have skin issues and or serious allergies or whatever. This is the reality. Watch though. You're going to show up on one of those blogs where it's like, don't do this on a plane. You know how they always have those like pictures of like… Right. Someone took a…

You'll be there one day. Someone took a… I hope so. I hope so. Okay. So let's get into some questions you're reading today. Okay. Dear Sasha and Lainey, here's my story. My boyfriend and I are 24 and 25. We met in university, have been together for about three years, and we have been living together for a year and a half. We have had some issues lately, normal relationship problems and the stress of his younger brother moving in with us, a whole other demon. And it's forced me to really take a step back and look at the relationship.

I've noticed the cause of a lot of our issues is a lack of emotional effort on my boyfriend's part. We are very open with each other. He knows exactly how I'm feeling all the time, including how I currently feel, but he doesn't seem to know how to have a conversation with me about my feelings or open up about his own. He shuts down when things get slightly uncomfortable. He doesn't argue or fight.

It honestly seems like he doesn't feel strong emotions ever. He listens to my concerns, giving very little feedback. I feel guilty calling him out for his lack of emotion and lack of fundamental relationship skills because he had a very different upbringing than me. I grew up with two parents who love each other, are still together after 35 years, and gave me a great example of what a healthy relationship is. His parents divorced when he was a kid. All they did was fight.

His mom had a substance abuse problem. He grew up with his dad with no one filling the mother role. No idea how to approach any of these topics with him without offending him or overstepping. From the outside looking in, I think there's an obvious link between the problems we're having in our relationship and the environment he was raised in. What should I do with the differences? How can I approach these differences without talking shit about his childhood? I love him very much.

I know he loves me. He would never hurt me. I trust him and we have fun. but we have our issues and I'm wondering if they're bigger than us at this stage in our relationship. H. Okay. Okay, H. Well, I mean, the first, I mean, there's a couple of things here. I think the first thing to tackle is age. He's 24. They're 24, 25, which to be honest is like kind of when you're trying to figure your shit out. A lot, I mean, listen, I don't want to generalize, but men are typically more emotionally stunted, um, in their twenties than women are. Um, not all,

but I'm just saying there are, that is a generalization that happens to be true. Um, yes, yes, it's agreeing. Um, so I would think that that would be one of those barriers. Sometimes you just like, you know, you're, you're starting your career, you're in relationships, you're just not really thinking about how the past has fucked you up. Um, so I would give him kind of some, I guess I'm like, give him some time. Give him some time. I think that you are probably a lot more emotionally advanced than he is. And he might not be able to give you what you're looking for right now.

The other thing, I mean, for me personally, like I've always, like I'm always, always dating or with somebody who is like A, either mute, which is what I'm currently with. Corey is like absolutely a mute person. But I've also been, I've also dealt with people who are like broken, like guys who are broken that I want to fix. And I, now that I have perspective, know that I cannot fix anybody as much as I want to. It doesn't work. It just doesn't.

And they also don't want to hear it from you. Like, I don't know about you, Lainey, but like when Jacek's, like, I'm sure you know Jacek's Achilles heels, like his, you know, the things that are wrong with him. But you telling him doesn't make him probably want to be a better person. It probably just fucking irritates him. Right? Like, you don't necessarily always want to get life advice from your partner. Right.

What do you think? Yeah. Well, I agree with all your points in terms of the generalization, but what I don't really like about what H is saying here is it's all one way, like, he is required to give me this back in a relationship without, like, a, and this is what I give him in our relationship. Like, you know, I feel like H, my view is, where's your 50% in this? Or what is… Oh, you don't think she's bringing anything to the table?

No, it's not like, what do you contribute to him for how he communicates in love? There's no like… Because the way we're talking here, the only way to communicate in a relationship is feeling, feeling, feeling, talking, talking, talking, talking. Yes. You might do it in other ways. Yeah. Are we saying that that is the right and only and end-all and be-all way of being in a relationship?

Because if we are, then we're now dealing in absolutes. And I don't think we can deal in absolutes when we're talking about different people, personalities, and connections. Right. So, and I've mentioned this before, this is love language. So H's love language is she needs to talk it through almost exhaustively. And she needs emotion, feeling, feeling. Other people's love language, for example, mine and Jacek, are like, we're not that

sensitive. Right. And we, you know, don't do the crying, hugging, touching, like, caressing thing. Yes. And for some people, the love language is like, I want you to show me. For example, for occasions, I like purchases. Other people like, I like experiences. For my birthday, I want you just to read a book to me instead.

Right. Right? Like, people love big gestures. Other people don't love big gestures. So this is about love languages. And not one kind of love language is wrong. The way that we love language together is to recognize what the other person needs and give it to them. So what I'm asking is, what is she giving to him? Yeah. Oh, this is interesting. See, because for me, I'm sort of, I, like, I really understand where she's coming from and the way where she's like, listen like I'm trying to have like we've been together for three years we've we're we've been living together for a year and a half but there's something that's just like we're not getting to

that next level emotionally and that's what she needs so to your point if this person this partner that you've been with doesn't isn't communicating the way that you want him to the love language is not meeting up then yes that is that is for you to think about maybe this isn't the right person to spend much more time with. But for me, it could be the flip side could be like she's seeing the person that she loves struggle to deal with his childhood and that's stunting him not only for himself, personal growth, but in the relationship. So for me, the point of what I was trying to say in the beginning was like don't take

on the emotional burden of his trauma or like how he has to deal with stuff. Like, let him go to therapy so that he can talk this out with someone who's neutral and then see if that can open things up in the relationship. I don't think therapy is ever bad in a relationship, so for sure. Like, at least try that avenue. But I think therapy can be bad when you go into it together and she's like, something's wrong with him. Like, you know, when you go into therapy for these reasons to communicate…

I don't think she should be going to therapy with him. Well, her issue is how they communicate in a relationship. So there can be solo therapy for him, but if they're wanting to heal and move their relationship beyond, she should be part of the conversations too. She should have homework too. See, I feel like you're talking to me in this letter because I feel like this resonates with me so much. Being with somebody, you're like, I love, I give, I give.

I'm trying to open up the lines of communication and you're fucking not giving me anything back. I don't want, I've done the work. Like that's where, that's where I'm kind of giving her the benefit of the doubt. Cause I'm thinking she's doing the work. She's trying to be supportive. She's trying to open down. She's trying to open up the, the lines of communication with him and he can't do it because he doesn't know how. I think that you and your marriage are like totally different from this situation. I'm talking about my past relationships, not specifically my new husband. When you were younger, right? Can I talk about then when you you're younger, like her age, I get it. Like you're in your head and you're like, this is what

I'm giving him. And this is what I want. And this is what I want. When you're in your head like that, you're missing other cues. Not maybe in your case, because your like boyfriends were douchebags. But let me give you what she's laid out, the evidence that she's laid out that she has also completely missed. He loves me. I trust him. He cares about me. And these are all the things I know about him and he's a closed off person. Oh, do the math. He's a closed off person and yet you are the first person he's let… So he's a closed off person and yet somehow he's been able to love someone for three years, move in with them for 1.5 years, and relay over time slowly his identity. My parents split up. The fighting was hard for me. I lived with my dad

and I didn't really have a woman in my life, like, to be a mother. For somebody who is very private and very closed, that is movement and progress. She achieved that. She's missing it, though, in her own, sorry, H, but I'm just going to give it to you real, in your own obsession with how you feel. Right.

Like, at no point did you look at the evidence in front of you. Who am I? I am so special and he loves me. That is his gesture of showing her, yeah, I do care. This is how close I feel to you. But haven't you ever been in a relationship where all those things are true? You trust him. You love him.

You know, everything is good, but that spark, that connection, that link is just not there. Yes. So that's where I'm going with this too, right? Like, I think, like, I feel like you're kind of dogging on her like she's some fucking twatty little selfish brat. I'm not dogging on her. What I'm saying is that we've all been there when our feelings are the only priority. A thousand percent.

Yeah, I agree. And it could be that, but I'm, again, just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and hoping, well, that she's trying to make an effort, that she knows what he's worth, that she's watching him struggle, that she's watching these barriers kind of stifle him and truncate him in his life. But my point being, it's either there or it's not there. Maybe what she needs to do is get him to therapy, see if that makes any changes.

If not, then yes, reevaluate if she's being like a stanky little stubborn person who isn't seeing what she's bringing to the table. Then the other layer is maybe all of the things are there, but there's just really not that spark anymore. And that's the thing about to go back to love languages. So when we know our love languages, then we know what kind of need we need.

Then we know like how we want to be communicated to. Yes. And so maybe that's the bigger issue. Like put it on the side, this need to fix him or how I can get him to therapy. Like maybe it is you are two incompatible people. There may be someone out there who communicates with him the, like the way that he wants to be communicated with. Yeah.

I agree with you. I think there's a missing thing happening here, and she needs to figure that out. They need to figure that out together. Is it a chemistry thing? Is it a love language thing? Is it all of the above? Or just maybe not meant to be? And again…

Because you're 24 and 25. There's, like, a lot more out there, too. Listen, everybody should be in counseling or therapy or talking through things together. And listen, if you're not ready to walk from this, like, you clearly are invested and you wanted to help him instead of breaking up. If that is the case, then I, H, like I'm not trying to dog on you, but I would open up your own mind to love languages and the love language that you may have been like either asking for or maybe demanding. Okay. And if that is fair too. Just, hey, that's what relationships are. Sometimes you'll have to look at the hard truth. Like you

You can't – it's not like 100% one person is right all the time. God, I think I suffer from that. Okay. Well, I'm telling you right now. I know. You're talking to me. It's not reasonable that one person is – unless it's like fucking, I don't know, Harvey Weinstein.

You know what I mean? Right. Anyway. Okay. Next. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I know you're both dog moms, so I figured you'd be able to help me out. My boyfriend and I got a puppy at the beginning of January.

We're obsessed with her and couldn't be happier. The only thing is we haven't had sex since we got her. There's multiple reasons for this. I had a really bad cold. I wasn't in the mood. Our work schedules are different. The main reason is that all our time together at home is spent in very close proximity to the dog.

We're in a pretty small condo downtown. I don't want to have sex anywhere that the dog will be able to see us, but I'll also get super distracted if we close the bedroom door and she starts whimpering, which ruins the experience. I need some ideas for what to do. I was thinking maybe trying it in the shower, which we've never been very successful at, or at night after we've put her to bed, even though I'm more of a morning kind of girl. I love my pup so much and wouldn't change a thing, and I'm willing to compromise and

try new things, but I just feel a little lost. Sincerely, first time dog mama. Well, this is fucking real. I feel like I got Bowie three years ago, and I still don't have fucking proper sex. Because you don't want to traumatize them. I still don't have a functioning relationship, though, with Corey since our dog. Well, like in any capacity. He loves Bowie so fucking much that it's, I think, a little bit unhealthy.

It's the same way when I come over here and I see Jacek literally cradling your dogs and staring at them. Like he – our husbands love our dogs more than us, I think. Yes. Okay. Correct. So I think Jacek, too, is like you about the trauma thing. Like, he thinks that it traumatizes dogs. No, Corey thinks that too.

Corey will, like, Corey will come and kiss me and then look at Bowie to see if she's okay. And I'm like, she's okay. Like, it will be okay. We can show affection in front of our dog. Like, it's weird how fucking sensitive he is about her emotional well-being. Well, that's next level. Like, that's weird.

But great. Yes, I agree. Yeah, that is weird. Anyway, the shower is a great option and one that we use often. Okay, good. Yes. Like… There's got to be a time and place.

You have to be able to lock yourself in your bedroom and not let your dog… Like, don't let your dog in the bedroom. Here's what I think this person's problem is, like, because they said… They live in, like, an open concept? No, they've tried it in the shower and it's not that comfortable. And it may be because, like, I prefer… I like, like, bending over. Yeah.

Oh, bending over. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Why can't you do that in the shower? You can. It's very comfortable in the shower. I think they like, you know, movie shower sex where someone's like…

Oh, propped up. Exactly. Where like, who can fucking do that? Nobody can do that. Like, who's going to like prop up the leg? It's so slippery. Yeah, exactly. And yes, for sure, that's uncomfortable.

But like, you know, if you like the position I like, then you should turn around. Touch your toes. Yeah. Anyway, that's one idea is to do it doggy style. Ha, ha, ha. brought to you by yeah and um and then uh yasic has a suggestion which is what we do is when we want to fuck then we give them peanut butter bones totally and they are like oh fuck you we don't care about you right now and they'll go downstairs they'll give you a solid 20 yeah they'll give

you a solid 20 yeah um so you know like have fun but also know that it's puppy stage right now too and like your life kind of stops for like three months and then it'll get back to normal. Like right now you're just like, you know, you just don't want to, you just want to be around the puppy all the time. Exactly. Like one, what?

She said it's like one month. I think you'll survive not having sex for one month. You're going to be fine. You'll be fine. These people sound young, so they are obviously horny people. Ready to go. So anyway, try the bone peanut butter situation.

Distractions. Distractions. And then also just do it in the shower and bend over. Yeah. That's great. I feel like we've solved all life problems. Bend over and give someone peanut butter. Or just fucking leave the door open and give her and like try not to be distracted.

I don't know. Like it's it's either that or get a peanut. Yeah. Well, you only have two options. Get a peanut butter bone or bend over and get the bone. I've never heard her like this. So we're just going to we're going to accept it and we're going to roll with it. She's fucking delirious, people.

I don't know what to tell you. Our last question. Our last question. Sasha and Lainey, I have what may sound like a weird question. A little background first. I have endometriosis and sex, very specifically intercourse sex, has always been very painful for me. My husband has always been very understanding and patient, and perhaps as a result, he's

become very into pleasuring me outside of intercourse. He's even stopped caring about intercourse entirely and is fine with just getting me off and nothing for him. He enjoys it so much. I feel extremely weird about this. In the past, I'd just deal with the pain. Like, I'm… okay, we're laughing because… I don't see the problem here. I'm like, why are you writing into us? Okay, keep it going. I feel extremely weird about this. In the past, I'd just deal with the pain and we'd both get off. But the past few months, he doesn't seem to care about himself. We've talked about it and he

acknowledges that it's happening and he suspects it's partly aging. We're in our late 30s. I don't know but i feel like i need to force him to get off so i don't feel bad thoughts what the fuck sorry everyone seems to be very happy in this situation she just flagged something that didn't need to be flagged i'm i'm a little bit i'm a bit i'm a bit okay thank you very much for your letter maybe think of it this way okay in the grand historical biology since beginning of time of things. It is not a generalization. It is a fact to say that men orgasm at a much higher percentage than women, right? Yes. And this is like historic. So we're talking trillions of times. So I would actually think that men, if there was an orgasm counter in this universe, since the beginning of

our time here on this earth there have been trillions of more male orgasms than female maybe the female orgasm count doesn't even go up to the trillions no right yes so here's a situation that is the is becoming the complete inverse reverse whatever okay she is orgasming at an exponentially higher rate than he is she's basically trying to single-handedly right all the wrongs that's right let me tell you something in those trillions of times that male orgasms are like out there and female orgasms aren't very low percentage of men who felt guilty exactly they're not losing sleep or begging their wife to yeah stop having sex with them you're good like yeah you're good no guy would ever be like you know what you're giving me way too many blow

jobs like i'm feeling super guilty about this fuck no are you crazy listen i love our writer for being this empathetic to her husband but like let the dude chow down until the break of dawn like it's cool low like he's loving it she's like he enjoys it so much and i'm like so but then she shamed him and he was like i guess because we're getting old no yeah like he's fine you're fine both of you are having a good time. Don't stop having a good time. Yeah. Keep the good times rolling. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Like I wish this was my problem, but thank you. Thank you for letting me know. Now I do have a problem. I have a very selfish partner. Listen, right now it doesn't sound like there is a problem further down. Maybe in the back of your mind, you're concerned if he

does have like, you know, uh, a dysfunction, a certain dysfunction, then yes. Worried about it then. But there are so many things to worry about in this life. Don't worry about it until you have to worry about it. If he's like, no, babe, I'm fucking into it. I'm so into it. Like, whatever. Let him. Yeah. I think it's time to... Yep. Yazza gave us the cue to wrap this one up. Anyway, thank you for... Well, not... Like, thank you for your sharing your frustration, but please continue

and can you write us back and let us know if you've gotten over it and she'll be I don't need I don't need a follow up on this okay thank you guys

for sharing your drama and keep your questions coming to sasha at ladygossip.com and subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts leave comments reviews

and see you next time bye in my class there's 33 of us what's it like there's not enough of anything the noise the packed classroom make it feel overwhelming and when i really need help there's not enough to go around i wish somebody would do something the ford government has cut 6.5 billion dollars from ontario's public schools since 2018 and our kids are paying for it tell the ford government invest in our kids a message from the elementary teachers federation of ontario