What's Your Drama - Anna Wintour's Coffee Breath & a Constant Bailer

Episode Date: October 24, 2019

We kick off Season 5 with the breakdown of our one-on-one interview with Anna Wintour. This is the first time that Lainey and I have actually talked about it since it happened 6 weeks ago. So we hope you enjoy our detailed thoughts as well as the fear that still remains in our souls. Then we get into your questions! What to do if you suspect your husband is being well, suspect - do you trust your gut or logic? Then finally, we get to a writer who doesn't know how to confront her friend who always bails on plans.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, hey, Lainey, we've been sitting on this. Do you remember the time you interviewed Anna Wintour? I have been waiting to tell this story for six weeks. of recommendation we're a cast and we put them right in front of you browse thousands of the world's leading podcasts book host reads or run your own ads and track every conversion in real time same skills you already have brand new results a cast a cast.com slash advertise hi it's laney hi it's sasha what's your drama we're back we're back we're back um to give you unqualified advice yeah we're basically back this is a show where we get right up in your business

and we have no business being in your business but the only business we have the only business we have is that we don't really have interesting lives so we need your drama to give our lives some drama yeah that's absolute desperation but first since we're back from our hiatus um we did something during the hiatus that is a moment that you and i will remember forever it will bond us forever when we're old ladies like hopefully we'll be 90 together yeah we'll be only talking about this moment we'll only be talking about anna wintour that's the only bond we'll ever have Um, okay. So to back up, we, uh, we were, during TIFF, we were assigned to interview Anna Wintour. You produced, I hosted the interview. Correct. Okay. Uh, first it was

supposed to be a sit down 20 minute one-on-one, which blew our minds that would even be a possibility. And you kept on being like, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. I was like, it's going to happen. We have been offered this. Who the fuck offers it? So two weeks, I think two weeks before the actual interview, we were told Anna Wintour is coming to Toronto during TIFF to get an award and that there was one outlet selected, chosen, invited to do 20-minute sit-down interview with her.

I was the representative for eTalk. You sure were. Put forward. When you found out… And who knew that you would get put forward for that? I think we were all like, you sure that's going to be allowed? Lady's going to be allowed to do that? So then, but also, please be honest and admit that both of us at this point are shitting

our pants. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't know what to expect. She seems very not friendly. So we were both just scared for what was to come. We were terrified. I had, like, terrified to the point where every time I thought about it, I had to shit. Like, you know, everything in my intestines would turn to liquid and it would have to

come out right away. And you're not usually like that. No. Half the time, it's not that I don't give a shit, but, like, I, you don't get, I don't get afraid. You don't get afraid. That's what I mean. There was fear in your eyes.

If I do get afraid or in situations like that, I almost look forward to it because I'm like, oh, okay, if they're going to bring their asshole, then how am I going to react? It's almost a challenge. But this was, I wasn't, like, I was afraid. Yeah. She's, and as you should be. Yeah. I mean, she's just a caricature, right?

So I didn't know what to expect to see her in real life and to be, you know, it sounds horrible, but I did want her to be mean to me, right? Or I would not have lived up to my hopes and dreams. I think both of us wanted her to, like, we wanted a story out of it. Okay. I will say, though, that, you know, on that note, Lara and I, our friend, we covered the Met Gala, I think it was in 2008, so like 11 years ago. Yeah, 11 years ago.

And we went to the Met Gala, you know, to interview people, obviously. But at that time, people didn't really stop for interviews at the Met Gala. We were all just going for B-roll. It's the best B-roll of the year. Yeah. But we still like screamed at people, Cameron, Jessica, whatever. So when we did that to Anna Wintour, she glared at us while smiling and it was so much loathing like directed at us.

It was like a shotgun and the bullet was loathing. Yeah, that was. And she shot it at us and we felt it and we looked at each other and we felt made. God. Like it was, it's a one thing. Lara and I will always have that. Yes. That moment.

That moment where we were like bombed by loathing by Anna Wintour. Anyway. Okay. So that 20 minute interview with Anna Wintour then became. Three minutes. It became three to five minutes on the red carpet at the Step and Repeat. But we were the only outlet allowed to put a microphone in her face. It was still an exclusive.

And we were the only people allowed to ask her anything. And that was still great. Still a really big deal. Because I know that when we say three to five minutes, that seems really quick. But it's actually, you can get a lot jammed in three to five minutes. Like, I felt like I was sitting down watching like a full-on interview between you two. I'll just say that, truly. I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass.

Like, it was, you can get a lot out of somebody. If you do it right, and if it's not Jake Gyllenhaal, because the thing is, what made this whole thing so much more fun is that at TIFF 2018 was our Jake Gyllenhaal interview during which he spent five minutes making me feel like a piece of shit. Yeah. Yes. And so we were like, oh, in 2019, we can... Who's also going to make you feel like a piece of shit?

No, but she... Okay, so yes, she arrives. We wait. We wait. She's not… And should we tell people why, you know, it was… She didn't have a long stretch of time in Toronto. She was basically just flying in, grabbing her award, saying a few words, and getting

back on the private jet. Right. Yes. She wanted to go back to New York. It was New York Fashion Week and also the US Open. Yeah. And she loves tennis. So she was like, I'm not spending any more time in Toronto than I had to.

She dipped. Yeah. Okay. So everybody's really nervous. People are hovering. Like, the guests at the event, because it was, like, a luncheon attended by, what, 100 people or so? Pretty exclusive. And all of Toronto's socialite elite.

Yes. So it was about 100 people, the socialite elite of Toronto. But all of them are, you know, they're billionaire people there. Yes. But all of them were acting like fangirls. Oh, yeah. People were lingering and loitering, waiting to do anything, like, take a sniff of her, anything. That's right.

Yeah. And we were the only ones who were going to be allowed to talk to her. Yes. And so they're hovering around the red carpet waiting for Anna to arrive. She arrives. Actually, before that, I will say that I refused to talk to you. Yes. It was very…

I was so nervous. Well, in the time that we were like, this was going to be a bonding moment, you did not want to bond with me at all. From the minute that day started that we were supposed to go there, you didn't talk to me. You didn't look at me. You actually, like, removed yourself from, like, the radius of me. Yeah.

And wouldn't talk to me until probably about 10 minutes before we were about to roll. Yes. Yeah. So that was nice for me. Should we talk about, you know, I think, I feel like we're skipping so many steps. Should we talk about wardrobe consideration? I think I failed on the wardrobe situation. Actually, maybe I didn't.

Well, okay, so I want, when I… That was the first time I've ever seen you care about what you were wearing for an interview where you produced me. I wanted to be appropriate. I didn't want to be flamboyant. And when I realized when I got there… You bought a dress, Sash. I sure did.

I sure did. But what I found interesting was everybody, as you said, there were lots of socialites there, really came… It was… It was… There were lots of looks. Yeah. And I realized, oh, I didn't bring a look.

I brought like a, like it was a luncheon. Like I didn't think that we were going to a black tie affair at fucking 10 a.m. So for that, I was like, oh, maybe I made a blunder because I didn't go over the top. No. And actually, nor did you, which was nice. So that's why I think in my head, I think, oh, fuck, I might have fucked that up. But I think we actually didn't look so fucking thirsty. Yeah.

So good for us. I think that that was both of our considerations. Like when I was working with our stylist, Katie Tobin, shout out to Katie, love her so much. I was like, you know what? We're not going to fucking, we're not going to peacock this. I'm a reporter. It is not about me.

It's going to be plain black, but nicely structured. Yes. Good quality material. Like it's not going to be something that she'd be like, get this trash. Away from me. Garment away from me. Yeah. Yeah.

But it – so well-structured, well-made, good material, but just black, and I'm not here to peacock beside you, Ms. Wintour. Who was decked out in fucking beautiful Chanel. Anyway, I was happy with our decision. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Just a heads up in the future, if you are to interview Anna Wintour, our advice to you

would be dress appropriately, respectfully, but – Not cheap. Yeah. Yeah. You don't need to, like – you don't need to pull out your Marquesa. Yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Totally. Which many people did. Maybe she would – well, actually, she likes Georgina Chapman, but whatever. You don't need to pull that. Anyway, so she gets there. People are hovering. Then they're asked to de-hover and go the fuck away. Yeah.

Yeah. And then she does a few still photos. Then, you know, a few people clamor to get their photos taken beside her. Yes. And then – and we just wait. We kind of stand back to make – like, to make sure we're summoned. Yes. Right?

Because the last thing I wanted to do was tackle her. She is a tiny lady. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And I'm not, like, I'm not a tall person, but I felt like I could have tackled her. Yeah. You have a couple of pounds on her and that's not really saying very much, but yes, she's

a wee, frail looking man. I feel like I could have picked her up. Yes. And carried her for like a solid 15 minutes without taking a break. I will say that as a producer when people um start taking pictures I start to freak out because I'm like oh fuck they're eating my time up they're eating our time up and we're not going to get the interview yeah so I remember they were like okay lady your turn to take pictures and I was like nope we're gonna fucking do the interview right now because if she like didn't like your

aura yeah she would have fucking pieced the fuck out same so you get the interview yeah she's wearing her sunglasses. Yes. Um, which, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, finish your thought. I didn't think that that was going to happen. Like I know that she wears her sunglasses all the time. Um, but I didn't think she would wear them onto the red carpet, which was very dark. There's not a lot of light. And listen, I wear prescription sunglasses and I wear them all the time. Yeah. But even it's, it's not practical when it's a dark space, you can't see jack shit. So, and her sunglasses are dark. So I actually just don't know how she walks around. She wore her sunglasses there. She wore her sunglasses eating at the table. She wore her sunglasses doing her

speech. She wore her sunglasses the entire time, which, but I think she's used to it by now. It smells like a bit of weakness to me. Sorry, but there's something there that's a bit strange. Really? Because I think it's like an ultimate power play. I think she's covering up. I think she's hiding behind those for sure. All right. So she's a tiny lady with sunglasses, which is, yes, that's a great description. Yeah. In that moment, I had to decide what kind of interview I was going to do because you know this, sometimes when we do junket interviews or red carpet interviews, we, because what the audience watches has to be energetic. And so one way, like an easy way to make an interview

energetic is just to be loud, is to just to speak energetically. Hi, Anna. You did not. You whispered. You whispered. It was not going to be that. No. I did voice modulation. Yeah, you did.

I really did. I spoke without exclamation points. Yes. Yeah. Which worked, I think. Yes. I decided to meet her with her tone, which is without exclamation points. Yeah.

And I spoke very… I had a decent pace, not too quick, not too slow. Yeah. And I just made it, like, the first three questions were about her achievement and about being, like, a leader in business and in industry for women. Yeah? Yeah. And then, but at the same time, we had to send back something fun.

Because you need a moment. I need a moment. Yeah. And that morning, we had come up with a tennis moment. You had come up with that. I'll give you the credit because I didn't come up with that. Because Bianca Andreescu, Canadian, had just made it into the women's final of the US open. So I, and she, Anna Wintour loves tennis so much. So I was like, okay, well, you know,

we're going to be the first people to ask her about Bianca because it just happened the night before. And then this was Friday morning. And she's a huge fan of Serena. That's right. Yeah. So Bianca was going to face Serena. Bianca won on Thursday. Anna wasn't doing interviews Thursday or Friday morning. So we were the first people to ask her about this. So I go ahead with, I was like, you love tennis. You know, I know you're, you're New York. What's happening there? US Open. And she starts grinning. Yeah. Like I saw teeth. The moment I brought up tennis, she started like, I actually, I didn't know what to do. The minute she started smiling, I was like, holy shit. Did I make Anna Wintour smile? You made her emote, which is huge.

And she was really kind of cool and funny about her trash talk. She was like, Bianca's great, but Serena all the way. Like, she wasn't, there was no hesitation. No. She's hardcore. And she was, and you know what? Because we're in Toronto. Bianca's from Toronto.

She was in Toronto. She was on our turf and also was, and shut Bianca down. She was like, that's not going to happen. Yeah. She has lots, many years to come. That's actually why she started smiling, because she had the opportunity to trash talk. Totally. which made me like her.

That was probably the moment where I was like, oh, you probably are like a real human deep past those dark sunglasses. Well, she has like things that she cares about to the extent where she wants to trash talk. Anyway, that is what added to the interview. I feel like she was pleased. Yes.

So because she was pleased, here's where you come in. You were like, oh, before you go, can you do a photo with Lainey? You made the request. I sure did. And it was a great photo. So your face, I don't know what must have been, and I know this all sounds like a little

bit whatever to people that might be listening, but when you have to do a photo op, like all your nerves have to be shoved down. I would not have been able to contain like a normal looking face. I don't know what you embodied. I wasn't a normal looking face. You embodied like porcelain China doll face. Like you were like, everything was perfect. Very like museum, like nothing moved.

And it was perfect. It was the perfect, perfect picture. Right. But people who know us, our friends, like Duanna, looked at that photo and as you would know, I was terrified. Yes. That was terror. You look scared.

I love how you set it up, like perfect China doll. Yes. Terrified China doll. Yes. I had… But made for a great picture. Here's what I remember. I remember thinking, hold your arms as close to yourself as possible.

Do not touch her. Totally, totally. Yeah. It wasn't one of those, do we wrap our arms around each other or get close? No. There's definitely milliliters. I was like, don't touch her. And then I was like, don't breathe.

Because you know how sometimes if you stand close to somebody, you can smell your breath. I was like, don't let her smell your breath. Because I also had just interviewed her, and it's terrifying, even though I was like- You had lots of mints in your mouth though before. I was like, don't breathe on her, whatever. Yeah. Did you smell her breath? Could you smell her?

Did you smell her? Did she smell like mothballs or like- No, she smells neutral. Okay. Neutral. If anything, she would have smelled like coffee. If there's one thing, like one memory that pops up in my brain, if her breath smelled like anything, like I got, but not bad coffee breath, just, you know, high fashion coffee breath. Yeah. Whatever. Right. Cause that's the thing. I will tell you though, cut to when we were all having our lunch in. Yeah. Um, everyone was eating. Um, and on her plate was just a cup of coffee. She did not

partake in the food festivities at all. That's the level of discipline, everybody. Yeah. Required to be Anna Wintour. Yeah. Yeah. And then we kind of floated away from there because you, as a producer, delivered what you were assigned to deliver.

And you, as a host, delivered what you were supposed to deliver. It turned out really, really well. And I don't know. I've never been obsessed with Anna Wintour. Like, she's not… But she's an icon. So you can't, even though I've like haven't followed her career so much so that I like know everything about her, it was a big moment because she is a fucking powerhouse and she

delivers a really great speech and she's very intelligent and she is a champion for women. So like I can't knock her for that, but I just, I do think the sunglass thing is weird. Having now seen it in person, it's very odd. Like when you see it on television, you're like, oh, okay, because she's just like a character or she's just, you know, she's a star. But when you see that shit in real life, it's very strange for someone to cover their eyes for their whole entire lives. You know what I enjoyed?

I enjoyed that she wasn't surrounded by 80 million people. Her entourage wasn't gigantic. She apparently checks her fucking email. Yeah. Like she has an email. I'm making it up, but let's say it's Anna at Vogue.com. She actually reads her emails. Yes.

Which is… That's impressive. That was proof to us because there was like a producer reporter there from Toronto who would apparently send her an email and she, and he got a photo op with her. Because she made that happen. After reading. After reading his email. Yeah.

And so, yeah, she checks her email. She's not surrounded by 80 million people. And the people who seem to be staffing her weren't, like, it was, I expected her to be staffed by, like, a 22-year-old. Personal assistant who, like, has to wear a diaper because she's not allowed to go to the bathroom. That's right. That wasn't happening.

One of her assistants, I feel, was, like, in her 40s. You know, the short hair, short, like, she was shorter with brown hair. No, I didn't even see her. With an English accent. There was one with an English accent. Oh, no, she did not. Anyway, so, and was, like, I mean, nothing, no offense to the 22-year-old who, you know, you said looks like they have a diaper on, but, like, I thought, because I guess Devil

Wears Prada and… Yes, that's ingrained in our head. Yeah. So, yeah. It was an experience. Where is that picture? Is it, like, just sitting in, like, do you… Fuck you.

It's on Instagram, obviously. Oh, okay. Great. Good. Good. That's where it should be forever and evermore. Like, it was… I posted that 30 seconds after the photo was over.

I was like, this is… I'm going to be that person right away. Of course. Yeah. That's what we do. Well, yeah, but you're also the person who judges Instagram. I took that picture, though, so I felt proud of it. Well, that is our Anna Wintour story.

Yes. I know that after people saw that photo on Instagram, they were like, hey, can you write about this? But I couldn't write about it without you. No, no. Okay, good. We had to tell the story together. Yes.

And we were saving it for the return of What's Your Drama? And here we are to get deep into your drama. I love this. I can't wait. You start reading the questions. Okay. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization well it's easier than you think

we're acast and we give you the platform to do it all yourself browse thousands of popular podcasts choose the shows that match your perfect audience set your budget and launch and if you want a hand our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence this is podcast advertising without barriers get started at acast.com slash advertise And we are getting right into it with some, yeah, dirty sleuthing. Well, I'm just reading this first line. Okay, go. Dear Lainey and Sasha, I suspect my husband is lying to me and it has given me flashbacks

to my cheating lying boyfriends I had in my 20s. See what I tell you. Isn't that an open? A few weeks ago, my husband announced he will be going on a work trip in Chicago. This would be fully paid for by his work. We then started talking about my 15-month-old son and I joining him Since then, I've been researching Chicago and then sharing it with my husband Also getting passports up to date

Two nights ago, my husband announced that he received his itinerary and flight information I looked at my work schedule and started planning the trip Then my husband started using any excuse for me not to go It would cost too much, he'd be busy at the conference, there'd be nothing for me to do He didn't know if I wanted to go He also threw in some of his anxiety issues I wouldn't have had a problem if he told me that he wanted to go on his own. I would have understood that.

My issue is that he lied to me and kept giving me reasons not to go. This raised huge suspicion and resulted in a heated argument. Do you think I'm overreacting or that my trained gut is right? R. Well, this is hard because I feel like I need more of a backstory. Why is she so suspect from her husband? I know that she had said that she'd been cheated on in her 20s, but does her husband give her any reason to be mistrusted?

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm sort of like, oh, he didn't want you to go on a work trip. Like, I do that to Corey all the time. You know, whenever there's a work trip, I'm like, oh my God, come. And then if he starts to start planning, I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, don't come. Like, I don't want that to happen.

Don't. But you know what I mean? Like in theory, it sounds lovely. Like, oh, we'll be like together in a different place. We'll have a hotel room. But I'm like, I'm going to be fucking working and you're going to be gallivanting. No. B, I don't like I'm working.

I don't want people around me when I'm working. So I understand the husband. If it is, if we're talking there's no cheating in the past, he wasn't, he hasn't been a sketch bag before. Yeah. Like I kind of feel the don't come on my fucking work trip with me. Yeah. Yeah. I 100% like we've talked about your gut. Yes. And following through on your gut. I don't

know the husband. So I don't think we can, other than this, like if we're basing our answer on just what we're hearing here, this evidence, he has a work trip and he was starting to make up reasons for her not to go. Well, Sasha, like based on that, you're cheating on your husband. Totally. Yeah. I'm having plenty of affairs wherever I travel to. No, you're not. No. And I feel like for me, because we work in the same industry and we have opportunities to go on work trips often.

And dude, that's generous. Like you at least are pretending to want Corey to come with you. I almost never ask yes. Really? I've asked once. He was going to come to Banff with us. Yeah. And that's basically the only time.

Yeah. Because we were staying at a hotel which was next to a golf course. And I was like, oh, he can have things. This would be nice for him. I wouldn't have to worry about what he was doing because I don't want him with me on a work trip. No, no. They have to be fully doing their own thing. Yeah.

Yeah. And also, I guess for us too, and I think for anybody, you know, when your work pays for you to be in a hotel and you get to be in your own hotel room and kind of pretending that you're in your own single bachelor pad. and you can close the door put the chain lock on and order room service and like it's a vacation yes also let's not forget she said there's a 15th month 15th month old kid like he was probably like uh i'm gonna be able to sleep in i don't have to fucking like feed a kid or take like yeah sorry i mean i love children i am sure that you all want to like be around your children but like he had the opportunity to peace the fuck out for these couple of days uh yeah he's gonna take that But on the flip side are, if you want to be mad at him for anything, be mad at him for

like, you know, getting his 48 hours, 72 hours in Chicago and then coming home and if he doesn't like make up on the other side for you being alone with the kid for three days by yourself, then get mad at him for that. Yeah. Because the fact is, is that his trip is going to leave you with your 15 month old, you're going to be by yourself. And he's going to be having great room service and using the hotel spa, using the hotel gym. Sleeping in, doing all the things. Walking around, padding around the hotel room in a bathrobe, using all the fun soaps. Totally, yes. Running a bath. And when he comes

home, he better be ready to be saying to you, hey, I know you were alone for 72 hours or whatever with the 15-month-old. Here are some soaps. Exactly. Be mad at him for that. But I don't know if you have any grounds yet to be mad at him for cheating on you in Chicago. Like, it's a big leap. Yeah.

It's a big leap unless there is a history. And if there is a history of suspect behavior, let us know. But I will say that I'm taking your husband's side on this one. I think you overreacted. Sorry. But also, we're putting ourselves in her husband's shoes. Yes. And I bet you she would too.

If she puts herself in her husband's shoes, she'd also probably want to take a fucking solo vacay. Oh, fine. it's work, but she probably would have been like, no, no, no, no. You stay home. Yeah. But you have like those one or two hours of downtime that you can sneak off and do shopping or take a nap or whatever. It's yeah. You don't have to entertain anybody. I don't. I, anyway. Um, sorry. Yeah. It's like you never get invited. Listen, but I feel like that. Yeah. Or I know it sucks for you because he's the one who gets to go on this work trip and you get paid. She'll be okay. Yeah. But

she'll be okay. He's I, yeah. I don't think based on this, he's cheating on you. So yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Get mad at him for other things. Yeah. I love that our first question back, we're like, you're wrong. Okay, next. Dear Lainey and Sasha, long time listener and now I finally have an issue. One of my good friends who I really do adore has this really bad habit of lying.

But what makes it even worse is that she's just so bad at it. She'll bail on plans all the time and make up some ridiculous excuse. A great example was last month. We were having a girl's night out that we had planned for weeks in advance. Then the night before, she texts us to say she can't make it because she had to go to a family funeral. Of course, I always want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I also do my damn due diligence. So when I saw her sister the following weekend…

Oh, no. Oh, God. Horrible. When I saw her sister the following weekend, I asked about the funeral and lo and behold, her sister was like, what funeral? Fuck. God, you need backup when you're in a lie, man. I know.

This is just one example of thousands. Our girl group has called her on it before, but she gets very emotional, which then turns into tears, so for the greater good of the group, we usually just ignore it as to avoid the extra drama. But honestly, I find it fucking annoying and rude, and I just want to shake her and tell her she doesn't have to lie. She can just tell the goddamn truth. Ugh.

How would you guys deal with this? Do I just accept it, or do I try once again to have a real talk with her about this? Will it just fall on deaf ears? Should I even care? Exhausted. Okay, exhausted. Exhausted. Oh my God, this girl. Yeah. I mean, as a person who plans, I hate when people bail and it would

make me even more loco if the person was just lying to me. Like, so I, I feel so, I feel exhausted, exhaustion and pain and annoyance. Oh, those kinds of people, they exist. They're out in the world. And they're really annoying. They are. I have to say, I think that there was a phase in my life where I was that person. What do you mean? It was a long time ago. Big lies like that? Way before I met you. Okay. Probably more in high school. I know we have to go back to high school for these things. But you know, that high school experience and that time in your life is so, like you're in formation, like you're becoming someone that the memories I have, Like, I remember more about high school than I do about last week.

Oh, me too. Right? Yes. There's something about… Absolutely. So in high school, when you're navigating your friend groups and you want to be liked and maybe you just get accepted by, like, this kind of friend group or that kind of friend group, I lied constantly.

Not about, like… Sometimes about bailing and why I couldn't go somewhere. And I… But why? If you wanted to hang out with them, why were you bailing on them? Well, I guess, like, if I couldn't go because I didn't have something to wear, I didn't feel confident. What would be the lie that you'd say?

Then I'd be like, yeah, my uncle died. Or, or… Sorry, are you just throwing that out there or did you actually use your uncle's death? Yeah, I probably used… You said my uncle died. I probably, like, went down the line of relatives. Wow. Okay.

Yeah. Okay. And all of it came from a place of insecurity. So, something about the friend is terribly insecure. Like, of course. Can we acknowledge that? Yes. Of course. Even though it's exhausting, these people suck in the position that they put you in. It's coming from a place of… because anybody who has confidence can tell the truth. Yes. You're right. Even if it's, I don't want to come out tonight because I just bought a bag of Cheetos. Yeah. Or whatever. Yes. I just had

my eyes done. Yeah. Or… Yeah, yeah, yeah. My lips done. Totally. Totally. Yeah. No, you're actually… that actually makes a lot of sense because I think you… so for somebody who is looking forward to going out and then someone bails, it's sad for them because you're like, oh, but that would be so much fun. And it's not like the other person who doesn't end up coming, the one who bails, doesn't want to have fun, but they're dealing with their own shit. And that's also something you always have to realize. You said insecurity. It could be anxiety. It could be depression, like things. I mean, you did even say that she does get really emotional. So maybe there's just something happening internally that causes her to pull the plug on social events.

Right. And this is different from the friends that both of us have had in the past who hook up with a guy or a girl and they're in that like haze of lust and first blush of romance and it's girl's night out or guy's night out and they don't want to come because they just want to like fucking fuck. With their boyfriends. Yeah. And they make up some excuse, right? Yeah. That's different. This doesn't seem like that. No. So my advice would be, I don't think you confront your friend, but I do think that you help her. Like I would, instead of confronting, be like, why'd you lie about the fucking funeral? We busted you. I know there's some satisfaction in that. I get it. I get it. I don't think you confront like that. I think that you help your

friend work on her self-esteem and figure out what it is that is like making her lie when she can't come out. Like, I think that that's, to me, that's a kinder way to go about it. Yeah. There's obviously something deeper is what you're saying. I get that. I think for me, the way that I've handled people like exhausted friend is I don't expect anything from them. And that's a hard thing to wrap your mind around because you want your friends to step up. You want your friends to tell you the truth. You want your friends to be your friends and be around you. but if someone is dealing with other issues that causes them to lie and bail I I tap out and I've had to tap out and be like listen like you fucking have to figure out your shit I can't help you

figure out your own shit like I know you're saying to like be supportive which is always a good thing but you can't really fix somebody um and you just can't expect anything from them so the next time you make a nice friend outing, invite her, but just don't expect her to come because it's the expectation that causes the disappointment. Yeah. So if she comes, great, cherry on top. That's awesome. But if she doesn't, then you really haven't mentally prepared yourself to see her anyway.

It kind of lessens the blow. It did for me at least. And also, I think that maybe they… if you lessen the expectation, then maybe she won't feel like she has to lie. The pressure. She probably feels a lot of pressure. Whatever it is. And anxiety is a really, like a real thing right now.

People are… I have anxiety. Like, as we are recording this right now… You do? …I keep talking about… Tomorrow is our Canadian election. I have anxiety. But you've already voted.

I keep calling… Oh, just the anticipation of the outcome. Oh, my God. Yes. Don't you? A thousand percent. Right. I was saying to Corey the other day…

Today, I was like, I wish that we covered the election like they do in the States because I'm trying to fucking absorb as much information about what is going to fucking happen tomorrow. There would be all these projections on CNN if we had CNN talking about our election. I don't think that, I'm not sure that would actually help us. And this is to my greater point of the world these days is anxiety-inducing everywhere, right? Like there are political issues, social issues, planetary issues. And I know a lot of people are struggling with their mental health.

And getting out and going out for a lot of people is becoming harder and harder. And I don't know if this is what's happening to your friend, but she clearly is lying about not hanging out with you and maybe staying at home. And I kind of like, I can see that happening to more and more people. Like, I keep referring to all of this as the apocalypse. Like, and in our country, whatever is going to happen on the election day, like, it's I feel so much dread. Yeah.

And so, and I, you know, have relatively healthy mental health. I'm very fortunate. Yeah. But I can imagine for other people whose receptors are that much more sensitive, it's hard to move around in the world. Yeah. I hear what you're saying. I think we're giving, I feel like we're giving her friend a lot of leeway here.

for me, it's like, listen, if you have issues and are struggling, at least just reach out to your friends. I'm not, you don't have to fucking write an Instagram or Facebook post about how you're feeling, but like when you have your inner circle, why not just let, like, that's, that's what always boggles me. Why not just tell people that you're close to what's going on? I would way, way rather someone be like, I don't want to be around you guys right now. Like for that could be just the blanket statement. I would rather that than someone lie to my fucking face. Yeah. That shit's bananas to me. Yeah. I agree. I agree. The lying is terrible. Yeah. And that for sure is so insulting. But I mean, I guess I'm trying to talk about,

you know, we have to, I guess, collectively maybe be more receptive to when people come to you with vulnerabilities and be like, this is just not a night I can leave my house. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. That, I am with you. So exhausted, I think that you can take nuggets from what both Lainey and I said, you know, be a supportive friend, try to figure out what's really going on. And then my other half is lower your expectations. Yeah. Okay. That's it for us. Our first episode back. I've missed you. I'm so glad we're reunited. Okay. See, emotion. Tried to get some emotion and she didn't make eye contact, looked away. I look forward to many more of these days here at your house. Yep. Thank you for joining us. This has been What's Your

Drama. Please continue to send us your dramatic questions to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And you know what? We would really, really love it if you left reviews and comments wherever you listen to your podcast. They really help us shape the show. They let us know how we're doing. We always want to improve and we always want to be more helpful in our non-helpful way. That's perfect. Thanks for listening. Subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. We'll be back next week. Bye. In my class, there's 33 of us. What's it like? There's not enough of anything.

The noise, the packed classroom make it feel overwhelming. And when I really need help, there's not enough to go around. I wish somebody would do something. The Ford government has cut $6.5 billion from Ontario's public schools since 2018. And our kids are paying for it. Tell the Ford government, invest in our kids. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. Thank you for watching.