What's Your Drama - Channing Tatum Is the Best and Butt-ing In!

Episode Date: December 6, 2017

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers podcast!On today's show: Why I'd like to trade my husband in for Channing Tatum, how to mend a friendship with a family member and how to butt IN with support.Thanks for tuning and keep your feedback/questions coming to me at [e-mail] and hit us up on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course on iTunes and Google Play. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Lainey. Hi, it's Sasha. You don't introduce me anymore. I know. I want you to introduce yourself. Okay. Hi, it's Sasha. And this is the Lainey Gossett podcast for Sasha Answers.

How's it going? It's good. It's good. Can I… So, obviously, I read your website all the time, every day, but there was one post that really resonated with me today. Which one do you think it is? Channing Tatum. Yes. Do I know you or do I know you? Well, it's probably the one that's like,

which one? The lightest, fluffiest topic. That goes to me. I think I know why too. There's layers to why, but tell me why. Okay. Well, we'll start with the personal stuff. Do you also have the same issue with Corey taking pictures of you and being shit at it? I look like a troll in every picture. But then I was thinking when you wrote your little fuck you to Jacek at the end, Jacek takes wonderful pictures of you. Hence, you're fucking blowing your hair, blowing in the wind in fucking Chicago. Oh, like, oh, I'm taking the perfect golf swing in fucking wherever the fuck you are.

First of all, stop giving me fucking double fingers, dick, which is what he's doing right now. It takes like hours and a lot of arguing back and forth. No. Move the camera up. No. Put it this way. And then him saying, no, I got it. It's like this. And, you know, I don't think in my imagination Channing and Jenna like have to argue back and forth. I think that Jenna just, well, first of all, she's crazy gorgeous. So, you know, not as much effort needs to be made. And then I think Channing just takes the picture the way She wants to take the picture, and the way he knows, she's going to look best.

Right. Right? What happens? What does Corey do to you? So the irony here is the majority of my husband's livelihood has been a fucking camera operator. That is what he's supposed to be good at. He's a cinematographer. Framing, lighting, fucking taking a good picture of somebody.

That's true. In Jacek's defense, that is not his element. No. Yeah. My husband's profession is that and he cannot take a good picture of me and it's fucking really infuriating. So there was this weekend I was like, oh, I want to sell all my fucking clothes. Like, do I go to a consignment store or should I just fucking sell them on Instagram?

Like, because lots of people do that. They sell their shit on Instagram, like vintage and stuff. And then we both looked at each other and I was like, well, I can't fucking do that because you wouldn't be able to take a nice picture of me. So we were talking about like cutting off my head and like nothing. There's nothing that he can do to take a good picture of me. What's his excuse? I don't think he cares.

He takes beautiful landscape whenever we're out fucking… when we're on vacation, he takes beautiful landscape pictures. Right. But if I get in the shot, everything goes to shit. And then I was thinking the other day, I was like, what bothers me the most about Instagram? And I hate when I see pictures of like people like looking out into the distance and like… Because you know that their husbands have been running around taking the most beautiful shots of them.

And then I thought, oh, maybe I hate them so much because I'm jealous and I'll never have that in my life. That's what I thought of today when I wrote that post. First of all, I wrote it for, you know, just to be like, hey, they're happy, they're still together, whatever. And then I was like, let me just check her Instagram, see if she posted any pictures. And I'm like, okay, she looks gorgeous. And then I started just creeping her Instagram.

I don't check her Instagram very often. There's this one shot of her, I think she's in Paris on a balcony and it's like a shot of her ass. First of all, it's… Phenomenal. Yeah. I mean, she's a dancer. So it's, let me just pull this picture up because her ass is amazing. And then I was like, okay, but, you know, either her girlfriend took a picture of her ass, which, you know, it would be like me saying, let me pull down my pants. Totally. Totally. Sash, let me pull down my pants. Can you take a picture of my ass? So it wasn't a girlfriend. And then obviously, it'd be weird if she just ass some random dude, right? And so I'm looking at this ass and I'm like,

Channing Tatum took a picture of his ass, like his wife's ass and, you know, depicted it in like the love. Okay. Look at this ass. Yeah. That's fucking perfect. There is no way ever in my lifetime will that ever happen for me. So then I, so I, I spent like 15 minutes on her Instagram. Like Jacek is now like collapsing and convulsing and yeah. Anyway. So I, I was like, wait a minute, I'm creeping her Instagram. All of these shots of her in these positions must all be taken by Channing Tatum. Yeah. And then I remembered, oh wait, a couple years ago she posted this makeup free photo of herself. Yeah, you posted that. He also took it. So this is his thing. He is his wife's personal photographer. Yeah. Which is, which is a thing. Like they have

memes and Instagram memes about like, I don't know, there was like a hashtag like maybe, I don't know, eight months ago like about husbands taking instas or whatever right which i've always been like so lame like grow a set stop fucking being your wife's personal photographer but then i realized oh it's because you love the way she looks and that you're ready to capture any moment like i will have to like yeah inch over and be like can i be in this picture cory like can the winds doing good things nope could care fucking less so then i realized yeah i actually I'm just like I'm with you

fuck you Corey I'm with you fuck you Yasik yeah be better be like Channing remember when I yeah anyway

anyway and also he's like an awesome dancer and they do like probably at home dance routines together which is like

the ideal which awesome dance routines that look good like she looks great and he can move yeah like they're making

music videos at home just for fun on a Tuesday can you imagine if you could dance with your – like, ugh, anyway, whatever. Good for whatever her name is. Jenna Dewan Chatham. Chatham. Jenny Chatham. Okay. Are we ready? Yeah. Fire away. Okay. First question.

Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Help. Has my family lost it or am I just overthinking things? I have a younger sister, let's call her Jasmine, who's morphed into someone I don't even recognize in a very short time and my family acts as though nothing is happening. Jasmine has always been even keel, steady, and reliable. She finished high school, went on to college, where she got her degree in social work, and started her own practice, which she ran for the next 10 years. She married a doctor, bought a big house, and traveled to exotic places for months at a time, running marathons and taking in cultures.

She adopted veganism early on in her marriage, which she followed religiously, and she and her husband had decided they did not want to bring children into the world, what with the economic climate, blah, blah, blah. basically she was the poster child for living her best life. Over the last six months, I've watched her unravel all that she's created. It started with a change in career. She sold her practice, declaring she wanted to become a welder. Amazing. I'm sorry. Wow. That just came out of nowhere. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Wow. Okay. Yes, I said welder. See, even this person was anticipating our reaction. Okay. She took up the trade with a skeptical but supportive husband.

After all, she would see it was not for her and quit, and they didn't need the money. She got a job at a small shop with a family we know, claiming it was perfect for her much-needed career change. Then she dropped her strict diet and became what I like to think of as a meatitarian and gave up on exercise. This happened overnight, but was understandable to me. It was a hard lifestyle to maintain, but then separation from her husband, which happened as suddenly as dropping her diet. These all seem like an afterthought to me now because yesterday she told me she's pregnant, wants to keep it, and doesn't know the father.

Let me be clear, this is all within six months. I keep wondering if she has a brain tumor or something, but my family acts as though these changes are not a big deal and it is her life to live. We don't have our parents anymore, and my two brothers just shrugged it off when I called them, but this is a baby. I don't have kids myself, and since we live in different cities and only see each other a couple times a year, we only really talk on the phone or FaceTime. Overall, we are just not that close, but I am her big sister and I feel a sense of obligation to get involved. She's so casual about all of this and says she is happy, so my question is,

should I just let her live her life and butt out, or should I jump on a plane and address this? If so, how can I bring it up without shaming her for, quote, living her new best life, but still get the info I need to determine if she is okay. Sincerely, let's call me Priscilla. Okay. So Priscilla has a sister, Jasmine, who in the last six months has like completely turned – well, she's completely changed her life. Yeah.

And is now a welder. Is she a welder now? Like, well, she tried welding and then is – now she works at a store. Okay, great. But maybe she's welding in the shop. Okay. Amazing. I feel like the line that struck me most was that it was too – her lifestyle before was

too hard to maintain, which I feel like is like a lot of pressure that we have talked about before, like having to look a certain way, having to have the right career, being with the right guy, like the doctor, the lawyer, and then having 1.5 children. Like I feel like she was living this life – I know she didn't have children before, but having, you know, was living this like super structured life that she fucking unbuttoned her pants a bit and was like, what the fuck do I want to do? I want to fucking eat some fucking goddamn meat. I want to weld whatever you weld. I don't even know what you weld with. That's how little I know about that. I'm not even sure I understand what welding is. I don't even know.

Like, is it… Hey, Yasik, is it like when you, like, stick metal together? Yeah. Do you have, like, put it on fire, like, and melt it? Like a blacksmith. Something? You stick… You shoot heat at it and then you stick it together. You put two pieces of metal together. Welding. She welds two pieces. Okay, got it. Okay, we've got welding. Fuck, we're done. Yeah. Why are you even asking us? So true. But I think I'm sort of, I'm kind of on board with this. I'm kind of, I do find it alarming. And of course, if I had, if my sister all of a sudden was like, and I have a baby with someone I don't know, I would be like, what the fuck is going on? But I don't think I would throw like heavy judgment on my sister if this was me.

I, yeah. I mean, I, there was one thing that stuck out to me as a possible explanation. And that is that she, yes, she had her own practice and it was in social work. That's really hard work. I mean, I, I used to work at an agency called Covenant House Vancouver and it's part of the Covenant House family. And we helped at-risk youth. And so the social workers I worked with were some of the most giving, big-hearted, selfless, amazing people. But day in and day out, that is, I mean, it does something to your soul. And while, yes, definitely it feels good when you have success stories, but I have to say like I work there in fund development and even I, when we didn't have success stories, it really, it really takes

away from, I don't know, just your, there's part of you that just, there's a part of you that it's hard to explain, but when that is your nine to five, it's, it's a lot to put in. And it's a lot that you can't get back. And definitely social workers have training for their own survival and survival skills and coping, like they have to be able to cope, right? But I wonder whether or not her profession and her field of work at a certain point for her just became untenable. And on top of all of that, then you begin to look around at the other aspects of your life and say, what is it that makes me happy and what is it that makes me unhappy? Especially when part of, like, we don't know what kind of social work, but most social

work is… Heavy. Heavy. Yeah. And especially if you were spending, I don't know, she would have had to go on, like, she went to university for it and then she built a practice. So she was, she spent over a decade immersed in that kind of heaviness. I wonder if at a certain point she was like, hey, I've seen a lot of heartbreak and what

can happen if you focus on the things that you don't want or if life puts you in a position of, in circumstances that you don't want, how you might feel trapped. So I feel like that's an element that she, Priscilla, might need to think about. Right. Hence why she went into welding, right? Like something just like more freeing, like not so like, you know, emotionally focused all the time, right? And just like, that's why I'm sort of like this could be a really nice transition for her. Instead of thinking like she has some fucking brain tumor that she's like having some breakdown. No, in fact, maybe she's choosing things in her life that she wants to do and feeling freer. Maybe, you know, that whole spiel about not having a kid because of the

climate and like world population, world overpopulation, that kind of stuff. Maybe that wasn't actually her truth anymore. And I think that that is really cool that she, as I said, like unbuttoned her pants and just went, what do I want? I'm going to go for that. And I'm not going to care that I don't have a fucking husband because I actually do want to bring in a, bring a child into this life. Like these are all, I think, maybe not the norm and not how, is it Priscilla? Yeah. Priscilla would run her life.

Right. But I'm kind of into free flow living. So that's why I, I'm, I co-sign this new lifestyle that she wants. I mean, Priscilla's question is whether or not she should butt out or get on a plane. And I, I, my response is no, don't butt out and yes, get on a plane. Yes. I think that you should not butt out. I think, yes, you should make it your business by getting on a plane, but not getting on a plane to tell her, hey, you're making a mistake. Not get on a

plane to tell her, hey, you're making a mistake, but to get on a plane and say to her, hey, it's been six months and there's a lot of shit going on in your life. Like, why don't you talk to me about it? Fill me in. Yeah. Hop on the plane to not butt out and to get a better understanding of the person, this stranger, who you call a sister now. Like, there is no downside to that that I can see. If you are coming, like, if you're getting on that plane with curiosity and care, I do not see how there could be anything wrong or anything misconstrued or anything taken badly.

I agree. Yeah, like, let her take you on a, like, tour of her life right now, and then maybe you'll get a better glimpse into the fact that, oh, like, this does fit her. This does look good on her. Yeah. Yeah. I totally agree with that. Yeah.

I mean, because right now, as you've acknowledged, you're basically making these assessments over the phone and FaceTime. Yeah. So, yes, get on a plane, butt in. With support. Butt in with support. With support. And keep us posted.

We kind of want to know about, like, the temporary welding. Yeah. Really? We just want to know what welding is again. Yeah. We want to know what the temporary welding and we want to know like, you know, where she is in her life. Also, not going to lie, a little curious about the father.

Yeah. I want more details. Go for us. Please. Yeah. Get on the plane. And then give us some details. Butt in and find out who the father is.

Yeah. Okay. Ready next? Yeah. Okay. Sasha and Lainey, my boyfriend and I have been long distance since January. Our LDR was a bit intense and strenuous, but we made it through to the other side in one piece, and I've since moved back home.

Before I left, I became close with his brother. Oh, I don't want to keep reading this. Before I left, I became close with his brother and considered him a good friend of mine, not just the brother of my SO. The first time I saw his brother since being back, I was excited. Culturally, a kiss on the cheek is exchanged, especially between family, but he could not have been less excited. Oh, okay. His greeting to me after one year was basically a side eye and he barely mumbled hello. I asked what was wrong, but he said nothing. I'm not expecting

a parade in my honor, but his lack of enthusiasm was hurtful. The rest of the evening, he barely spoke to me and the handful of times I've seen him since, he's acted the same. He won't say hi, he won't speak or participate in conversations with me and even gets up from the table and leaves in the middle of conversations when I enter the room. At first, I wasn't sure if it was directed toward me or everyone. I'm pretty sure it's just me and I feel super uncomfortable at my BF's house and family functions. My boyfriend has noticed it now and agrees that it's rude and weird, but others we ask claim he acts fine towards them. My boyfriend says that he's, quote, confused about life. He's a recent graduate, but I feel like that's not a reason to

act like this toward a good friend. I'm definitely hurt by it and now feel resentment and anger toward the brother and it's creating problems between my boyfriend and me. I've asked my boyfriend to mediate, but he defends him and dodges the question. I don't know what could have caused this grudge between us. Did my boyfriend say something negative about me during an LDR fight? Because we used to get along and hang out together just fine. Do I swallow my pride and let his brother treat me like this? Do I ask what's wrong again? I need some direction before I take it out on my boyfriend again. Thanks for your help. Okay. Does she say that she confronted the brother? No. She's wondering whether she should. Well, I think it's interesting.

The one thing that's gigantically missing in her whole story is if she kept in touch with the brother while she was away. Right. And I think typically if she was trying to get us on her side, she probably would have been like, you know, I like called him all the time and, you know, I sent him gifts or like I was always in touch with him. It seems like she went away, came back and was like, hmm, like why isn't everything the same? The fact that she doesn't know that her boyfriend's brother is like going through stuff. Like I feel like maybe she dropped the ball in the relationship and when she came back

she thought it would be a-okay and everything would be fine. And he's probably like, fuck you. You went away and totally ditched my ass as a friend and now you can sweep it. Like that is what I'm getting from this because I feel like she would have inserted that bit of information had she really kept in touch with him while she was away. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So that's where I'm sort of like, oh, maybe the problem isn't the brother or your boyfriend

sticking up for you. It's maybe like you just dropped the friend ball and you haven't realized that. I don't really like asking the brother or the boyfriend to mediate either. No, if they have a friendship separately, right? Yeah. Outside of… Yeah. And I mean, I don't know what the future is between you and your boyfriend, but if

you made it through long distance and you've been together a while and you're always hanging out with his family, I'm assuming that, like, yeah, this is a situation where you've been comfortable enough in this family to be able to, like, text him or call him up and be like, hey, what's going on? Like, you know, did I do something? Yeah. And go from there and not involve your boyfriend unless your boyfriend doesn't want – I don't know.

Like, your boyfriend notices something is weird but doesn't want to say anything. to his brother, which is understandable. I get that. That's his brother. So yeah, maybe it's, it's you. Well, first of all, yeah. Your, your point, Sasha, about like, hey, did you keep in touch with the guy when you're away is valid. Like, I'm curious about that too. And then, um, did, I, I don't know why, what would be the harm in, in calling him up or texting him or whatever and being like, hey, what, you know, like we haven't connected in a while and I feel like things are off. What's up? Yeah. Let's go for a drink or something. Yeah. I feel like you might be the one here to extend the olive branch. Yeah. And swallow your pride. Yeah. Swallow your

pride and see what's going on. And if he is kind of misguided or kind of like a bit in a slump after graduating, then like that's kind of your cue too to step up as a friend. If indeed you were a friend and you want to continue this friendship, then I think you need to act like a better friend and tap into what he is going through and help him out, support him, or also hear him out if you've been a shitty friend. And own up to that if that's the case. Yeah. If you want a future with your boyfriend and eventually you want to make your situation more permanent, then this is going to be, for all intents and purposes, your brother too. So you might as well get started on, you know, having these kinds of awkward confrontations or

awkward discussions. And I feel you. Like, you obviously don't want to be singled out. and like you walk into the room and someone leaves he's not handling it probably in the best way that sucks like I get it

so nobody's here to dump on you or anything I kind of did but that's okay nobody's but I do think that clearly

if you're writing to us and it's bothering you then the best thing to do is take control of the situation and address it directly with him if you didn't give a shit

then you don't you don't give a shit and you don't do anything about it but if you do give a shit then show you give a shit again I go back to like

my previous answer what is the downside the downside is he tells you he hates you and never speak to him again but then at least you know yeah but the downside of you

just doing nothing is that it sucks like you have no idea you're feeling bad it's really bothering you you don't care about them and then it gets weirder and weirder

and weirder the more time you let this sit it'll just get more uncomfortable for everybody and then everyone will forget why they were mad and then it's just weird yeah

but I would as you were saying Like, I would also left – as you were saying, I'd also leave your boyfriend out of it. Like, I feel almost like you need to apologize and be like, sorry that I was trying to stick you in the middle of it because it's not really his thing to get – his thing to meddle with. Yeah. So, yeah.

That said, I think you should let the boyfriend know, hey, I'm going to reach out to your brother. And I really want him to know that I'm feeling like he is being a bit weird with me and I want to let him know that I care about him. and, you know, I'm wondering if there's something I did. Yeah. So you definitely let your boyfriend know. Let your boyfriend know and then go and talk to the brother.

Yeah. Because as you said, it's a great move and also you just want to know what's going on. So go find out what's going on. Man, sibling drama. I don't have any. So it's nothing that I can understand. I mean, I know you and your sister are like so close and whatnot. But I mean, obviously you can't be like in love with each other all the time, like getting

along, never fighting. It happens. It happens. And then I'm thinking like my sister and Corey are super tight. They work together and they're like, they're actually like good friends and they have high, like lots of respect and love for each other. But whenever there's something to do with work, Corey will always try to like get me in the middle of it. Like be like, can you ask your sister? I'm like, fuck no. No, you have like a straight line between me and my sister. You have a straight line between my sister and you. Like you deal with it because if I, then it gets all very confusing when you add the other sibling into it. It gets super messy. I can't believe you haven't taken advantage of that situation.

What do you mean? Well, the next time he fucking wants you to do something for you, then you can be like, only if you agree to use your photographic skills to make me look better. It's just not possible. It's not possible. It's so fucking sad. Because it's true. He has it in him. Like, we are good friends with several cinematographer camera operators. And every time they take pictures of me, it's amazing. Like Dylan takes great pictures of me and so does Donovan. Yeah, because they – yes, you're right.

I don't have an excuse. I think the thing here – To go back to this issue. To go back to this issue is I don't think my husband cares to take a picture of me. If he cared, he could put – listen, a fucking five-year-old can take a great picture of me. Here's the true test. Does he take beautiful pictures of your dog? Yeah.

Okay. So there you go. Case in point. He doesn't give a fuck about me. Because it's true. Yasik takes gorgeous pictures of our dogs. Yes, I've seen them. gorgeous pictures.

I mean, he contorts his body on the ground. He's willing to get dirty onto the beach to get the low angle so that when they're like, you know... Yeah, he's like Mario Testino. I get it. Running towards him and the ears are flapping and then I ask him to

take a picture of me and like, my body parts look like they don't belong next to each other. I know. The jankiest shit ever. Alright, well, keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LadiesGossip.com And check us out on iTunes and Google Play and leave comments. Thank you so much for listening.

And we'll be back next week. Bye. We'll be right back.