What's Your Drama - Channing's "Baby" & Head Over Heart Decisions

Episode Date: March 28, 2019

Welcome back to What's Your Drama!On today's show: Does Channing Tatum have the swag to call people 'baby'? I mean, I'm a Dear John fan so I'm sure you can guess my answer. After that we get into your drama! What to do if you think your friend is over-exposing on Instagram, when to determine you've reached your relationship expiry date, and finally, how to conquer starting a business. We hope you enjoy the show and make sure to send us feedback on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Pandora, or anywhere you get your podcasts. And keep your advice questions coming my way at sasha(@)laineygossip.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey, what's your drama? What's your drama? Welcome. I'm Sasha. I'm Lainey. I have been thinking about you all day because I'm dying to. I already like pictured your answer to my question, so I just need to know if my imagination and the reality match up.

Okay. First of all, what do you think of Channing Tatum and Jessie J as a celebrity couple? Great. I'm not super invested, but I feel like they're a great couple and they seem actually quite legit as far as Hollywood couples go. Yeah. And I have good feelings about him in general. I mean, listen, I got made fun of, remember during my Dear John days and all of you guys

were like, he is like a monster. What did you guys call it? Like a Neanderthal. I've been a Channing Tatum fan and his cheesiness for a long time. So I'm down. Yes. Yes. During Dear John, when I laughed at you, I was like, what are you talking about? And then he just became so chill with that. Like what we say about him, he kind of knows. Like people think

I'm stupid and whatever. And he like rolls with it. He knows his brand. Yes. And he's also one of the nicest guys. Correct. Yeah. Great interview. When you talk to him on a carpet, when you talk to him on a junket, there's never any like gossip about him being a douchebag when he's working. So I love that. And I kind of love that he's a little bit of a mogul with Magic Mike and, like, he has these, like, stripper shows. I know they're not, like, they're dancer shows. But he knows his lane, right? Yeah.

And I'm fine if he flexes later and wants to do something more dramatic, but yes. He has stayed in his lane, his footprint, we know it. So thumbs up. Channing Tatum over Mark Wahlberg every day. Oh, God, all the time. Like, to me, Channing Tatum has made Mark Wahlberg unnecessary. Yeah, and didn't Mark Wahlberg, like, kill somebody or something? No, it's Ash, so let's…

Oh, okay. Allegedly he attacked people. Yes. Including Asians. Yeah. So next. Yeah. And who cares?

Exactly. Okay. Okay. So Jessie, Jay, and Channing Tatum are together. And the other day it was her birthday. Yes. And he wished her happy birthday on Instagram, of course. I know you like fucking love the public wishes.

I love Instagram. Yeah. And he was like, happy birthday, baby. I love that you're going to write that. So I wrote a whole thing about baby, right? And how like it's a thing. You cannot deny that some people like the expression, the term of endearment. Like they think it's sexy to be called baby.

Yes. Where do you think I stand on this? I think you're… Okay, so I thought… So I was going to ask you straight up. I was going to be like, okay, you know, are you down to be someone's baby? And I pictured your expression. Like I thought you were going to throw up.

Okay. So it's interesting because when I was reading that post, which just got me giggling, is because Jacek, you said that Jacek is a no baby. No baby. So Corey is also a no baby. Right. And I'll tell you why. Because Corey tried to call me baby in the very beginning of our relationship.

So he was a baby person. He tried to be a baby person. Okay. Maybe because he thought that I would want to be called baby. Okay. I'm not quite sure. So this was in the… So when I first met Corey, Corey literally like would have licked the dirt.

on my fucking feet yeah was obsessed with me yeah no longer like cut to now he's no longer right at that point he was so i think he was just trying to do stuff anyway he called me baby on the phone one time and i started to laugh because he literally does not have the swag to call me baby he doesn't call me baby he would go baby it was the grossest thing in the entire world he's still to this day make fun of it literally two days ago we were talking about the fact that he can no longer called. He can't ever. Okay. Cause he didn't even pronounce it right is what you're saying. Didn't pronounce it right. Right. Just, it was so highly embarrassing when he said it at that time, like 12 years ago. Yeah. That that was kibosh from the get go. Right. However,

when I hear other people call people like baby lady, like I've had boyfriends who have done that before. When it gets, when someone can pull it off. It's great. Okay. It's great. Okay. Great. You're surprising me. Like I thought you would be like a general, well, I actually thought that you could see that certain guys can do it well. Certain guys can do it and it is like melt you at your knees. Here's the thing. It's never happened to me. Like I've never. No one in the history

has ever done it and you'd be like. They haven't had the swag as you said. I know that it's out there. Yeah. Like that there are men out there who can pull it off. Yeah. I just haven't encountered one. Not that Yasset can't pull off his own like shit. Right? Yeah. But baby is

not one of his skills. How would he Like, because has he ever tried? No. What does he call you? Does he have nicknames? Like, it'll be like a, sometimes it'll be a babe. Babe. But it's more like, it's never.

Yeah, I've heard him call you babe before. Hey, babe, hand me that thing. Yeah. But that, babe is not baby. It's not, hey, babe, take off your clothes. No. It's, hey, babe, give past me the dirty dish. It's not, okay, I'm going to like make you blush or whatever.

But, you know, I read a lot of these dirty books, right? So when baby comes up, it's usually during a sexy moment or whatever. So it's like, oh, baby, you feel good. He says that. No. Oh, God. I thought I was going to fucking die. It's not yassic.

Oh, but in the books. In the books. Right? That's when they're fucking or whatever and he's like, oh, baby, you're fucking pussy so tight. Yeah. Whatever. Right?

Oh, God. I hate having eye contact with you when you say things like that. Okay, fine. Whatever. Okay. And in the book, it's meant to be hot. Yeah. Sometimes it is if it's a well-written book.

Like, you know, you have also in books people who shouldn't be writing baby and people who can write baby very well. Yes. So, I'm saying I just haven't had the real life experience of being babied. Like, you know, someone calling me that. I have and it works. And that's why I knew instantaneously when Corey said it, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no baby from you because that's going to be gross.

Right. Because some people just can and cannot pull it off. Channing Tatum being one that can. He can. Yeah. 100%. I can see him. Like, I can hear him doing it.

I don't think he would overdo it. You know, have we talked about this before? you know who does it super liberally? Keith Urban. Keith Urban throws baby around like you'll meet, and he's so nice. P.S. He'll call you baby. Exactly. So he came to the social and he came backstage to introduce himself to everybody. He had done his homework. He was like, hi Lainey. Like before I introduced myself to him, he was like, hi Lainey. And he was like, hi Melissa. Hi Cynthia. You know, every, hi everybody. He knew all our names. And then, so we had met him for all of like 30 seconds.

So we do the interview, it's what, 12 minutes and then afterwards we're saying goodbye and when he was saying goodbye, he would say to me something like, oh, baby girl, it was so nice to meet you.

He called you baby girl? Or maybe just baby. Baby girl. I think it was baby girl. Or maybe it was baby. Anyway, it was baby. There was a baby in there. I don't know if there was

a baby girl, but anyway, it was baby everybody. Everybody got a baby who had like- I can see that. And that's just his way of saying like girl yeah hey girl it was nice to meet you except he's down with the baby it was

kind of sweet because he's so nice because if someone so i guess this is it baby is twofold if you're um if you've got butt loads of swag you can pull it off yeah but if you have butt loads of cheese you can also pull it off and keith urban falls in that department of just being really cheesy. Yeah. And he can do it. Yeah. Also, I felt like he meant it.

Like, it wasn't, like, he wasn't babying us to be like, you know. But it was a term of endearment. Yes. Yes. It was almost like, I'd rather, from him, I'd rather him say baby instead of like, hun. I fucking hate hun. I hate hun. Yeah.

I hate when women call other women hun as well. Or I hate sweetie. Yep. Hate sweetie. I'm trying to think, Blake Shelton does something, I love the voice and I'm blanking right now, But he calls – he has a little term of endearment for women as well. I don't know what it is. Sugar.

No, it's not sugar. Cookies. Milk. No. It's not cookies or milk. But anyway, there are just – I guess that's why I'm thinking about Blake Shelton because there's something to do with like – and I know Keith Urban is from Australia or New Zealand.

Yeah. But there's something to do with like country people too who are able to pull that off as well. Anyway, it cracked me up because instantaneously after I read your post, I thought about Corey and I'm like, God, I shamed him from the get-go. But I'm glad I did because he just couldn't do it. I will say this, and I think this is very sexist of me to say, and these are, I mean… But you acknowledge it.

No. I mean, I guess this is part of conditioning. I don't like it when it's reversed. You don't like when women call their men baby? Yeah. Really? Like, I'm not into, like, if you're reading in the book, if, like, there's a baby, I don't want her to be like, oh, baby, your dick's so big, or whatever.

I don't know. What do you think about… I mean, the grossest one is daddy. Ever. Never, never, never. But the difference is when guys, because I've had guys, one boyfriend who would always call me mama, and I kind of loved that, which is equally as gross when you think about it. Okay.

Yeah. Like, Jason Momoa couldn't even daddy me. Okay. Or mama me. And that is, you know, he… Are you sure? If Jason Momoa in his like eight foot humungo arms and beautiful face said mama, you would be done.

No, I'm done. If Jason Momoa said baby, I'd be down. Oh my God. Like my labia would be stuck to his face. Perfect. I feel like let's just close at that and go to questions because I can't top labia on face. Ready?

Yes. Okay. First question. Hi, Lainey and Sasha. I'm afraid to even press send because I hope you don't think I'm being a heartless surface kind of friend, but I really want to help my friend at the core of this. My best friend Elle is wonderful and kind, but also very heavily influenced and naive. She's recently lost a lot of weight and since then she's been posting some unsavory pictures on her Instagram. Lots of lingerie, lots of lingerie pictures, a lot of booty short dancing videos and on and on. I'm all for celebrating her body transformation, but it's getting to be a bit too much and I just don't want anyone to get any bad ideas about who she is now

and really just want to protect her from any backlash. How do I confront this or should I just leave it alone? Is it any of my business as her best friend? Okay. Well, here's Ash. I almost don't love the most is like people being thirsty on Instagram. I almost don't want to answer this first because I don't want to, like, be negative and hate on Instagram. So you want me to go first? Kind of. And then I'll be, like, maybe temper what I have to say after what you say. I think we've all, in a way, been there.

When we get a new haircut or a refresh or, yeah. When you've just worked out a lot and you want to show off something. Yeah. Then you go out in like a really good outfit that shows off specifically the hard work that you've just put in. Yes. So I think nowadays Instagram is that. Whereas in the past, like, I don't know if you came back.

Do you remember back in the day you came back from, I mean, this is my generation and kind of still yours, even though you're younger. You went on holiday. Are you talking specifically about me or just in general? People. Yeah. Yeah. When you go on holiday and you get tanned.

You get tanned and you come home and it's like dead of winter, but you really want people to know that you're tanned. You wear a white t-shirt. You fucking wear a white t-shirt. Of course. It's freezing outside. You might even wear a white fucking tank top. Yes.

Right. Yes. It's January, right? In like Toronto or New York City, wherever you are that's cold. You're nude. You're fucking out there in your white tank top. Of course. Your nips are hard.

Yes. And you're like, oh yeah. Oh, is it cold out? Where was I? Oh, I was just in Jamaica last week. Right? Yes. That is, so the equivalent of that now is sort of Instagram, except you can like, right?

You can, but when you're in Jamaica, you can like say, hey, I'm in Jamaica. Yes. And then you can show off your bikini while you're in Jamaica. But it comes from the same place. So for your friend, Elle, for her, she feels that she worked really hard. I think our society, yes, there is so much body pressure. Well, that, yeah, this is- And I get it. So I get where you're, so you can cover the negative body pressure.

And I'm going to go with the body pressure of when you are under that body pressure and you don't feel or society hasn't made you feel that you have the quote, in quotes, right body, the time you spend in the quote wrong body is hard yeah and so when you achieve the quote right body and again all this language is shitty it's but you can't deny that it's out there i understand the compulsion to be like hey hey like look at me ultimately is it fulfilling no in the moment for a while is it going to be fulfilling yeah and wait's that tricky thing and That's why weight and just body image placed on Instagram is where the slippery slope happens. And I think that while we all want to get to a place where we feel like we have the strength of character to not need those likes, to not need those comments, even the strongest women that I know fall down that path and get sucked into the vapor of Instagram.

Yeah. So my worry first is that she is newly in this new, quote unquote, right body. Right. And I don't think she's sat with it enough to really realize what she, what the positive gains of that is. One being just health. But so it worries me that it could lead to some more body issues. Because I don't know if everybody has the strength to deal with that um but beyond that I think what I'm thinking is like when I'm thinking about like my best friend I am fucking savage when it comes to my best friends not all my friends but I will tell my best friend Emily exactly what she needs to hear for her own good whether it's good bad or whatever like I will be as straightforward as fuck yeah and so if this is truly your best friend

and you think like this could hurt her in like ways emotionally or if this could be not good for just plain and simple getting a fucking job, like you're going to have to be smart about those things, then I would tell my friend like this is not a good look for you. Right. Like don't your best friend Fiona, like I would imagine that you guys have a friendship, a relationship whereby like you guys tell each other like everything directly what needs to happen. Tell and show. I mean, show, yeah. Yeah, like she's seen my asshole. Okay, but not seeing your asshole, that's not where we're going.

But yes, but tell and show. Yes, tell and show. And so I think if this is causing, if this might be a cause for concern, then I think it would be good to tell her what your thoughts are. Yep, if that is the concern. Now, I'm going to say, I'm going to give some tough love to our writer, letter writer. If the fact that you're annoyed is just kind of the same annoyance that I have, that Sasha has about Instagram in general, like, oh, people who post pictures of themselves in

bikinis incessantly is so annoying. That to me, but it isn't like connected to worry, then I don't think you say anything. Yes. I agree with that. Because that's a little bit, I get it. We're all petty. We all eye roll over people we know and the shit they post on Instagram. Yeah.

Like, listen. We've all been eye rolled. We all eye roll. Yeah. We've all… I'm sure, Sasha, you have eye rolled what the fuck I've posted on Instagram. I'm sure I've eye rolled what you've posted on Instagram. Yeah, of course.

Sure. But that's from a place of pettiness and just like, whatever. It is not worth raising. So you have to ask yourself, are you actually concerned about the well-being of your friend and her emotional, like you said that she's in, like, you know, she's suggestible and she, you know, may get hurt easily. So if that is what your concern is beyond pettiness and beyond just irritation, of course tell her.

But if you're just like, oh, I do not want to watch you in your fucking booty shorts anymore one more time, then maybe just like wait a couple weeks. I agree. So yeah, good luck and let us know what happens. Yeah, keep us posted. Okay, next drama. Hi, Sasha. Here's my head over heart, heart over head, whatever situation. I'm 28, been dating Em for the past four years. We've lived together for the past year

and he's a rock of a person. Patient, kind, and kind. Here's one problem. I've been pretty unhappy about my job for the past year and while I know I need to quit, I'm also unsure of what's next for me. About a month ago, I went on a short vacation to Thailand and went two weeks solo traveling and realized that I would love to travel for a few months. As I've talked to Em about this, he's told me that he loves his job and traveling for a long period of time isn't something he could do. Understandable. The other problem is M, I'm starting to question whether he's right for me. There's always been something there in my gut that says it's not quite right.

Absolutely nothing wrong with him. I know he loves me a lot. Sometimes I feel that he just isn't right for me. Is this normal? But who's to say that this stress isn't due to me being unhappy with my work situation? I feel like my unhappiness with work, being unsure about M, and not knowing whether traveling is just a band-aid solution is stopping me from making any decision at all. It's a head over heart dilemma that I would love your take on. Thanks and love, Jay. Well, this one's like easy for me. Me too. Okay. Well, I mean, the biggest red flag for me is a four years relationship, 28 years old. If there isn't the time to get the fucking itch, like, I mean, that is quintessentially the time that most people shit or get off the pot.

Mm-hmm. Whether you, like, right? Because at that point, you either have to press on the gas or you fucking have to press on the brakes. And I feel like she's at that exact fork in the road. Yeah. I agree. I also think that you can't… I mean, I think that there's this, like, illusion of the one, which I think is bullshit anyway, and I think a lot of people are like, oh, this is good, but maybe there's something

better out there. Maybe, maybe not. But I think where we can't deny our writer's point is the gut, the gut feeling of being like, I don't think he's it. Can't deny that. No. Listen, I think that your concern that you're conflating your frustration about your job and worrying that it's like seeping into how you feel about your relationship is…

You should conflate it. Like, what you're doing right now is you're taking… Like, you're examining what makes you happy. Professionally, what makes you happy is not the thing that you're doing. and personally he isn't making you happy and excited and you're feeling something in your gut, that's fair. And yeah, it's connected, but it doesn't mean it's not valid. And, you know, if you took the time to write out this note

and you're like, hey, I'm not in my job and not that excited about my boyfriend and I kind of want to go traveling, that's the thing that excites you. Go traveling, you're 28 years old. I think this is the time to really make those decisions because you actually have the freedom to do so. So for me, I also think like, oh my God,

traveling is the best thing in the entire world. If you really want to figure your shit out, fucking go away. If you have the chance to do that and the opportunity. I know tons of people who have done the exact same thing you have. They've gone away and they figured some stuff out. Sometimes they've actually come back and been like, oh my God, you were the one. Let's pick this up again. And then, of course, the other flip side of it is they've gone and been like,

yeah whoa there's so much more out there so much more out there for myself to learn so like i really feel like you have the travel bug you're at that time where you can do that and you know as i was talking about before you're you've been with this guy for four years you're 28 like it is really like pull the plug on it now if if that is the case for you yeah because the further you go down with this guy then you're going to be like what then the next step is marriage and kids. Yeah. And you don't want to be caught in that trap just because you feel like you should. Yeah. And again, like in the same sense that you're staring down your job and you're like, I don't know if I can do this for 10 years. You're kind of looking at your

relationship the same way. Yeah. That's the same gut talking to you. But I also don't think that you should be unhappy about this because listen, you're lucky that both of these things are occurring to you like in your consciousness not your subconscious at the same time there are some people who are like oh my god i like hate my job but i'm so in love with this guy and that doesn't match up and then they're like fucking hooped because then they can't they can't go traveling because this guy is the one for you both of these things are lining up like it's a little bit of a gift yeah from the universe yeah oh my god right do you believe in that stuff i believe that like But the fact that she just said that, I feel like is like, go with that.

Normally the letters we get are, I hate my job and I want to go traveling, but I'm in love with this person and I don't know if I should go. And that's like a way, that was a fucking way harder, that would be a way harder question for us to answer. This time it's like, hey, I'm like, whatever, ho-hum about my job and… Ho-hum about my relationship. Yeah. Yeah.

So kind of look at this as a bonus. I would agree. I know it's hard too. It's hard to end something with someone that's like, there's nothing really wrong. Yeah. Yeah. But sometimes that's, I mean, that sometimes… That's the big wrong. Yeah. Sometimes that's the big wrong.

Yeah. So have fun on your travels. Yeah. Keep us posted. Send us a postcard. Yeah. Wherever you go. Okay. And final drama is from D. D says, So a friend and I came up with a great business idea and decided to pursue it. Simple enough, right? The only thing is I'm a social worker by trade. My friend is also in the human services field and we have absolutely no experience or acumen when it comes to a business, starting or running one. I'm going to be completely honest and tell you I'm terrified.

How do I take that leap? It sounds like such a Pollyanna Lifetime movie question, but I'm genuinely afraid. What if it's a horrible failure or an embarrassment or I lose all my money? How can I get out of my head when it comes to this? All right. Well, I mean, God, you're like kind of the perfect person to answer this because you did just that, right? you went on a whim and started your own business.

I mean, I can only talk from a really small, small perspective, which is I did start my own business too. And it was something that I wanted to do and a passion project. And I had a fucking full-time job too. So it wasn't like I'm coming at this from any other different perspective than yours too, D. And for me, I love a little bit of fear. Yeah. I kind of thrive off it.

and I love figuring out, like no one showed me how to fucking start a perfume business. I just started it and learned along the way. Yeah. And I do think there is a lot to be said about failures. I do think failures are actually just as important as your successes. And I think we do put a lot of pressure on being successful. Yeah. And I think that that sometimes can be a hindrance to people exactly what you've said. Like you're so, you're so scared to fail that you won't even give your chance, yourself a chance to succeed. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to take it a little bit of a tougher approach. So you guys have this great idea. You found a great partner and now what? You're afraid of what? Failing embarrassment. Like, so what? So do you expect

someone to come knock on your door and be like, Hey, we're going to realize this dream of yours here, immediate success. Like a little bit D, how dare you? Yeah. Yeah. Sorry D, but how dare you? Of course it's going to be like hard and you are going to fail. Like the whole thing might not fail, but there are steps along the way that aren't going to work, that you're going to have to backtrack on, that you're going to have to fix. That might embarrass you. And yet again, how dare you? Did you not expect that those things wouldn't be a part of like, like the process? Yeah. Yeah. You put it this way. You already have this great idea and a partner who you trust. Listen, your head. It's true. You want even more bonuses?

Oh, this is where the tiger mom is coming out. So I'm saying this not to be like a deliberate bitch for no reason. I'm saying this because you have a good thing going right now and you clearly have some money to put into this dream, just go and do it. Like, I'm not going to give you… It's as simple as that, right? Not going to give you, like, a graduation Harvard speech about failure and, like, go for it and whatever. That's me. That would be my… I did. Yeah. Not going to give you that. But I am going to say that, like,

people have started businesses before. There's a roadmap out there. And they have also started it while doing other things. The answers to your questions are there. You just have to like start looking for them. Yeah. But she's obviously a bit paralyzed by the fear of it, right? Yeah. And a lot of people like live that like, I'm just nine to five.

I don't want to rock the boat. Yeah. And you obviously have, as Lainey said, like you have a good idea. Yeah. You have something like you would be sorry, but really stupid if you didn't pursue this great plan. Stupid is one thing, but you'd be unworthy of your great idea if you weren't going to go for it and your idea wouldn't be worth it if it didn't come with like great struggle

along the way. Pain and suffering. Like you must, you will actually kid yourself if you think you can go without this, without some bumps and bruises. You will get fucking blown to fucking pieces. Yeah. And you just will. And it's about figuring that out and picking up those pieces and continuing on if in fact

it is something that you want to continue to do. Yeah. The answers to your question, you're like, because what she's saying is I've never done this before. Like, where do I even start? You start where you start. Yeah. Like, I don't know what your idea is, but let's just say her idea is to build an app. Okay. Well then if your idea is to build an app, then you go talk to some people who build apps. Yeah. You know, what's the most annoying too is like when you hear people who always talk about their, their ideas that they never did and they just fucking keep on talking you about it. And it's like, okay, well you never did. Like for me, I'm like, at least try. Yeah. Like it's those people that always were like, well, I had this great idea. Like I just never

did. And they just harp on it. And you're like, well, you're a fucking loser. Yeah. Like that to me is failure in a way where you hear about people talk about their pipe dream and they fucking never did it. To me, I'm like, ugh, get a grip. I wish you had done it. Right. So D, if you're a little bit mad right now or insulted hearing us talk about this like this or hearing me talk. Good. Use that anger. Prove me wrong. Tomorrow, do the first thing. Make a list. Do the first thing. And if it's hard, so what? Try again. Duanna, one of my favorite, favorite things that Duanna taught me and somebody else taught her is you can't fix nothing. And it applies to writing. So that's, writing is hard. Like the hardest part of writing is getting started. So

you're like, oh, I have this good idea for a book. And then like you sit there and you're like, I don't know how to do it. Well, like, well, you kind of have to start writing something down. And it's going to be shit. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. It's going to be shit.

And then you go back and fix it. But you can't fix a blank page. Yeah. So, D, go out and puke up some shit and then go and fix it. Like. Puke up that shit, D. Yeah. Yeah.

Good luck. Please. Keep us posted. When you become a billionaire. Totally. We'll buy what you're selling. Yeah. We'll buy what you're selling.

When you become a billionaire, tell the story of when you wrote into What's Your Drama and Sasha and Lainey yelled at you. And then cut us a check. Or give us some stock options. Totally. We'll take either. Yeah, Dee. Good luck.

Keep us posted. And for everyone out there, thank you for listening and send your questions my way to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And subscribe to us where you get your podcasts. Thank you so much for your support and we'll be back next week. Bye. Bye. Thank you.