What's Your Drama - Confronting a Copycat

Episode Date: May 14, 2020

Welcome Back! Before we dive in we need to talk about Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’s matching half-heart necklaces. Is it cute? Is it corny? Is it okay to be both? Then it’s time to get into you drama!Our first writer has come to a turning point in her life when it comes to her career. As a frontline worker this pandemic has pushed her past her breaking point. Is she a sh-t person for turning her back on such a meaningful, selfless career? Lainey and I dig deep on this.Next, is sharing a bank account with your ex a good idea? All I’ll say is Lainey gets very Tiger Mom.Finally, our last letter writer is majorly annoyed at her friend who keeps jacking her steez. Like, we’re not talking the same pair of jeans here and there. We’re talking about copying her life down to the SKU on furniture. We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, those are the people typically that get taken advantage of, right? The ones that are like, oh, okay, you just are in school right now? Oh, okay, like you don't have the time? No, like no one's trying to con a bitch like you because you're like, or me. You're the bigger bitch. No one would con you. While every other channel is fighting for your customers' attention, podcasts are where they've already given it.

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Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. oh i thought it'd be funny to get your thoughts on ben affleck's heart necklaces oh my god i saw those they're so big right i have well keep on going i had those when i was like 12 as everyone did they were like huge and hers is on like a choker which makes it even fucking more disgusting and it's silver is it silver i just thought that that there were okay now that we're getting granular about the size of it and like how it's being worn i think there are too many jagged lines like when you're when you're drawing like two halves of a heart yeah there's like three or two

points at most yeah and this one this one looked like teeth like you you like a shark had bitten a heart in half right and it there are too many points don't you think i i just i i just don't like the design how about that i think it would be way cuter if it was a better design well it felt and listen i shop at etsy all the time but it felt like an etsy heart like i was like where did you get this cheap thing. And again, huge, so big, the size of that really should be like a little more subtle was huge. Maybe I don't, I don't know if I might, if I, I would like to see it in that size. Yeah, exactly. Cause he's gigantic. Like he's so tall. Exactly. But I, I would say that I would like to see it in that size on her, but without so many points, I think, I think you,

you would change your mind if the heart was like a nicer heart instead of no no your problem is the the the shark bite of too many points mine is it's too big it's too cumbersome that's supposed to be like oh I don't I don't know it was just very was not dainty on her and especially that she was wearing it and it was resting on her clavicle also bothered me you can't you don't wear those as chokers. You've clearly had three glasses of wine already. No, like half. No, but I was dying to talk to you about that because obviously I knew you would have something to say about your fucking chair, Sasha. Oh my God. There's no, listen, we sold all our dining room chairs today. So this is, I don't have another chair for you. This is it. What? Yeah.

So like, even after COVID-19 is over, you'll never have anyone over for dinner again. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. This is why we did it. We sold anything that includes other people being part of our life. No, we sold, we sold our dining room chairs. We bought a bunch of dining room chairs while we were like feeling really sorry for ourselves on Sunday. Cause it's Corey, Corey and I, 10-year anniversary in June. Yeah. And we planned to go somewhere, but now we're obviously not going anywhere. So we, anyway, this is so boring, but we bought dining room chairs.

Okay, okay, okay. And a dining room table. And now I don't have any dining room chairs. And that would be what I would normally swap out for this fucking creaky chair. That was your anniversary gift to each other. A new dining room set. Yeah. Because we realized that.

That's really beautiful. Is it? Yeah. that your gift to each other symbolizes having people over and inviting them to break bread with you. Whenever this is over, it's that gift of community and family. That is not why we bought that. I was trying to like sell it. I know, but that is not why we did that. Okay. Why did you do it? Because it's like the last, like the last bit of the house of that, the first floor that needs to like be in the same mid-century vibe so we got rid of that shit but it was crazy because it was

the first um because I always think it's crazy that anyone's selling shit on Kijiji right now during COVID because then you have to like meet people but anyway we had this like whole plan where we like brought one seat out they had to like look at it and then if they were cool with it then they would go back to their car send us an e-transfer and once we got it then we brought out everything because it's fucking sketchy as fuck I wasn't gonna typically we'll let people come in, right? Or touch shit. Anyway. Okay. So they're gone. They're gone. That's why we're here with my squeaky chair. Okay. Are we ready for other people's furniture issues maybe? Yes. Furniture and jewelry issues. But wait, do you like it? Do you think that was cute? Can we just

rewind? I thought it was great. We're laughing. And you think, no, no, no. I'm talking about Ben and Anna. Oh, no, we're fine. Are they fine? Uh, what do you mean? Like, I think they're like so in love. Okay. So you think it's the real deal for sure. For sure. Don't you? If you're fucking walking around with half a heart, half a matching heart, like you, I think you have to be googly eyes, like emojis coming or like emojis are coming out of your eyeballs. Right. Okay. Okay. Ready? Yes. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I'm a nurse practitioner in a hospital in a major COVID-19 hotspot. And while I normally enjoy what I do, this pandemic has drastically changed the dynamic of our hospital. And we are constantly having to restructure our

lives to work in different departments that need assistance. I've already done a few different roles than I'm used to. And I'm now being told that I have to work in the COVID-19 intensive care units. I suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. And while I'm young and healthy, this virus scares the shit out of me. I've had multiple breakdowns about it and still cry every day. I'm terrified about getting myself, my fiance, my cancer patients, or anyone else sick. We have a couple of hundred COVID-19 patients in our hospital alone, and this isn't some low-risk situation. I should mention that this person is writing to us from somewhere in America where there is a COVID hotspot and it's a big city, very, very big city. Okay.

I went into my profession to help people, but I never went into it thinking I'd be putting my life at risk for it. Am I an asshole for not wanting to continue to put myself at risk? I've offered to do work remotely caring for COVID-19 patients. And at times my bosses have let me, but now they say I have to work in the COVID ICUs. Their attitude is that I need to tough it out. I have a good amount of money saved and so I'm fortunate to not have to worry about rent and bills for the foreseeable future. I'm considering seriously quitting since I'm being forced to put my mental and physical health at risk. And since my bosses aren't receptive to me working remotely, I've tried looking for jobs where I could work remotely and there are a few

options. What do you think? Am I a bad person if I quit when I have the training to help these people or am I okay to put my health over those I'm taking care of? I know many, many people have it worse than I do right now, so I'm terribly sorry if my worries are frivolous to anyone. I really hope things get better for us all soon. Oh, what should we call her? I'm going to call her Florence for Florence Nightingale. Okay, nice. I like that. Flo, yeah. So Flo is a nurse practitioner working in a major city in the United States in a hospital where there are what hundreds of patients and well, she's not feeling it anymore. No, she's struggling. So what she needs is an answer about whether or not it's okay for her to peace out. And if that makes her a bad

person. Well, I mean, I think we've talked about this and it sounds, I feel like I'm saying the same thing over and over. So forgive me, but I really do think, and we've talked about this with our friends and I'm like with my family, is that this is the time for us to reevaluate some shit. And a lot of things bubble up and really become quite crystal clear in moments like this, where you're faced with maybe, let's say nothing to do or too much to do. And everyone's readjusting right now and and figuring out what um what their next plan is and there's so many people too who have like lost their small businesses and are gonna absolutely have to pivot during this time so flow you're telling us that you don't want like this job no longer fulfills you so you're

not only doing an injustice to yourself if you stay but you're also doing an injustice to the people that you're trying to help um because you especially in that kind of job like i think you need to be like in it and dedicated and I mean god that is I would not be good as a frontline worker like I just wouldn't I think there's like a certain DNA makeup and they're amazing people and I'm not saying that Flo isn't but that doesn't mean that she's a bad person for finally realizing that she might just not be cut out for that intensity not everyone is and I think that that's okay. I mean, I get why you're asking, am I selfish? Am I being an asshole? Because of course the people who are working on the front lines right now are our heroes and they're

amazing. I mean, listen, if you think flow, if you think you're being selfish, you're talking to two people who beyond what the fuck are we doing? Yeah. Right. Like Sasha, You are a producer for an entertainment news show and a podcaster, and I am a celebrity gossip writer and a talk show host. And we're contributing nothing to helping people. Yeah, barely on this podcast. We may be contributing content, which is great, and people need content. And of course, we're having certain discussions that are important, and hopefully we address

certain things in our conversations about, I don't know, how to be a human and how to exist within a community and how to how to like have your own part in this community. But we're certainly not showing up for work at the hospital and hope like helping people stay alive. Fuck no. Like and so I think it's all relative about who's selfish and who's helping and who's not. Right. Mm hmm. But this is a little bit of a work question, too, about you have the skills, but if you aren't there mentally and emotionally, are you actually helping the patients to the best that they deserve? Yeah. And I think that's part of it, too. And that's not on you. Like, this is fucking hard for everybody, like for everybody listening who isn't on the front lines

and you're having mental health issues and you're having stress and anxiety. I know I am. Like I'm scared all the time. All I do is worry. All I do is want to escape. I'm tired. And that's not typically you.

That's I think an absurd thing. I've never seen you like this. No, exactly. I'm worried about people. I'm worried about our business. I'm worried about being able to like support writers and save what we've spent 15 to 16 years building. I have stress.

but I don't have that kind of stress, not the kind of stress that flow has. So, you know, I think that it's okay to acknowledge that the people who are on the front lines are suffering from fear and anxiety. And I think it's also okay to say, I can't manage that. And I don't want to manage that because that doesn't help anybody, least of all the patients who deserve the best care. Yeah. So maybe, Flo, you could try and reframe it in your mind. Don't make this about you. And if you're selfish, you're not. Make this about in your profession what is required for the patients. And if, if right now that is not what you can deliver, then maybe it's best for everybody, not just best for you. I totally agree. And isn't like the whole show your work,

can't you show your work in different ways and different times in your life? Like sometimes you have to flip a page in your career. Sometimes what you were meant to do or what you were made to be able to do in one in one time in your life changes right like listen great I love my job I'm like so um I feel so fortunate but like at 55 I'm not going to be talking about I don't know maybe I will but I don't think I could be reporting about Britney Spears or Chrissy Teigen in the same way I am now right like I'm gonna have to have some other sort of career manipulation down the line, right? And I think Flo is like that too, right? Maybe you've just come to the end of an era of this particular career. You're not letting down anybody by showing up for yourself and

realizing that this isn't meant for you. But also we have to remember that for people like Flo who have been working in these kinds of jobs, their heroism and courage and their contribution didn't just start at the beginning of March or February, 2020, right? All the years flow that you've been in this business. Well, I don't want to call it a business, but in this profession, helping other people that counts for something. Oh my gosh. Of course it does. Don't discount that. And it can be exhausting. It can be exhausting. Totally. Totally. I can't imagine like for, you know, my concerns seem so minor next to the people who are going to work every day and who have been going to work every day and helping cancer patients as Flo said and people and their families and

those at in their late stages of life or those who have to go through surgery or those who are looking at or watching and having to deal with their children going through surgery it's fucking a lot none of my concerns match up to any of that shit at all so you know what give yourself already like a badge or a medal for the work that you've done so far and consider yourself like they say in the military honorably discharged you know when you put them that right yes like i know i might be wading into dicey territory here because you know the way we speak about the military we can't conflate it with anything else but if we are fighting a war right now and for all intents and purposes, this is a war against a virus. It's just a different enemy, so to speak,

or a different adversary. Then the people who are our soldiers are the frontline staff and the medical staff. And so if we want to apply that analogy, the people who have worked for the last two months are performing a certain kind of wartime service. And those people do deserve metals. And if they want to leave, it should be an honorable discharge. So Flo, when you quit, if you quit, sounds like you really want to, call it and tweak it differently in your mind and call yourself an honorably discharged member of the medical profession. Oh, well, yes. You sold me. Can you also tell me that when I'm ready to retire? I don't know if we can consider TV any kind of like, but well said. I love that. So Flo, good luck. Do your, go and do your thing.

Yeah. Honorably discharged. I love that. Okay. Next. Hi, Lainey and Sasha. I've been a religious listener. Thank you for a few years. And I'm hoping you can help me with my own drama this time. My ex-boyfriend is a notorious avoider of responsibilities. We can call him P. Let me start out by saying we didn't have the cleanest of breakups, but after a few months of reckoning, we parted somewhat amicably after three years together so amicably in fact that we kept the joint account we had open whoa i already see this is these are my okay i should maybe i should read this beforehand because my yes and i told you you're way better at it because you're surprised i skim these before i send them to you maybe i should okay anyway perfect all right so amicably

in fact that we kept the joint account we had open because he was receiving money grants to go back to school. I tried to get my name removed off the account, but apparently it is impossible and our only option would be to close the account altogether. At the time, he said he worried about whether the money would get lost or disrupted by changing the direct deposit and said he would prefer to keep it open while he was still receiving money and going to school. I was fine with this in the beginning. A few months went by and I started to date someone else. I felt this was the time he should change his accounts and for us both to move on. He put up a fight and said he would prefer to leave it and wouldn't do anything to negatively impact me, such as rack up an overdraft and leave

me flipping the bill. Fast forward almost two years later and he still won't close the account. I've messaged him several times, at least every three months, and have documented it on Facebook, messenger. Each time he mess, he reassures me it's fine to leave it open and convinces me he will deal with it eventually and everything will work out. The last time we spoke, he said January 2021 was when he wanted it closed. My current boyfriend and I are now very serious and are looking to be engaged near the end of this year. And he would also like this account, this account resolved. I asked P again last month to please at least open a new account and switch all deposits and bills over so that in May we could close it and the transition would be smooth. He now says

that since COVID and his exams, he doesn't have the time and it's not his priority. I won't say what program he's in, but trust me, it's not rigorous. I love that. That's my favorite line. I'm so fed up with getting the runaround and I just want this last high severed. Should I just let Pete continue to have the account. Fuck no. I'm done. Right. My friends, my friends think I should close the account and mail him a check for the balance. Correct. What? Mail him a check for the balance. Yeah. Like she closes out and she just sends him. Oh, okay. Okay. His money. This seems extreme to me and I just feel too bad doing that. What are my options here? Thanks for the advice please call me e all right e dear sasha take it away take it away i love that she's like

it's too extreme what's fucking extreme is this has been going on for years and the dude is just playing you and is a lazy motherfucker like a money doesn't get lost if you transfer it to another account and you're not too busy to make one fucking phone call to get that shit sorted so whatever feelings sorry what was her e whatever feelings leftover feelings e has for that relationship obviously she feels very bad maybe the way it broke up she said it was amicable but i'm sure she feels pretty sorry for him maybe he's just like hasn't found love after blah who the fuck cares i don't even know why i'm making excuses do what your friends said close the fucking goddamn account

send him his dough and stop talking to him this must be a ploy for him to like just continue to have her in his life right this stupid fucking account I don't fucking care about him like he's I don't care about him I think to me

we need to talk about E we need to talk to E and we may need to talk a little brusquely to E okay I mean we need some tough talk here. Please, by all means. I thought I just yelled at her, but if you have more to yell at her, go for it. Oh, I thought you were going to go harder than that. Well, no, I was saving you some room. E, I think that you're in a good place in your life. You have a partner who

obviously you are getting closer and closer with. You seem happy. You have friends. So I don't think that you're in a bad place right now. So I'm just going to say it. You need to grow some eggs. Grow some eggs. I'm taking this from Sandra Oh because like we're not, like she doesn't use the word balls, having big balls is to, you know, denote bravery. And so she uses eggs and I'm stealing this from Sandra Oh. Grow some E. Grow some eggs.

Hey, E is for eggs. That's perfect. Your friends are right. This is crazy. And the longer this goes on, the more I'm suspicious of you, E. Why don't you want to cut this off? Why do you want to maintain this? Because E's being too nice, right?

Or what would E get out of this? Besides, I don't know, some sort of connection to this person. Don't make me, what my point is, E, if you think that this is too mean and you're finding every X, Y, Z excuse to continue maintaining this account for as long as whenever, it's been two fucking years. You want to go until January 2021? Are you serious? If you keep coming up with excuses or your best excuses, is that too harsh?

When it's been two years and we're going on three, then I'm starting to think that maybe you don't want to cut this off. Maybe you want to have something to do with this person. And if I'm saying this, your current boyfriend is going to start thinking this. So if I'm not putting the fear of fucking shit in your head right now, because if I were your boyfriend, I'd start wondering about alternative explanations. is it that you're too nice or is it that you don't want to give up p answer me right now yeah okay right see i gave you some goddamn room listen i didn't want to go there and turn it around on e and make her feel bad i'm e now i'm see this is what i just this is just what happened i started being e i agree with you and you do agree with me fight me on this with you no yeah

I totally agree with you. And obviously, if you're starting to set down some roots for a future, another relationship and a future lifetime with somebody, you fucking can't have another joint account with your ex-boyfriend. That's fucking batshit crazy. Oh my God. But see, I don't think... She's financially liable. Do you understand? And that's the terrifying part. That's where I'm going here next, which is like great that she's been logging all their conversations. But he has the power to fuck shit up, especially if there's any like bad feelings and he finds out that you're like actually going to get engaged. Maybe he'll just do something fucking crazy just to spite you.

So even just from a protection standpoint, fucking close this account, but also just from a moving on standpoint, cut the fucking account off like this is terrifyingly dangerous for your own whatever credit score, but it's also just fucking exhausting that you've been dealing with this like every couple of months. But I don't think that I don't I don't want to think that he is like holding the door open via this account for the dude. I think she probably just feels bad for him. But you can't feel bad for your exes when you're moving on. Like you've given him enough. You've given him enough fucking time to get his shit together. I'm telling you, there are not very many people who are going to feel bad for E if one day something goes south with this account and she's made she's liable and she's on the hook for whatever fucking loan or whatever. like financial disaster. And then that's her life. Like I understand compassion is one thing

and keeping relations on the up and on with exes on the up and up is another thing. But this is, this is jeopardizing yourself. You're jeopardizing yourself and your current relationship, but mostly yourself. You, I don't know if it stands up in any kind of, um, in any kind of investigation where you're like, look, I have the Facebook messages. Okay. But how hard is it to make a phone call and be like, shut this account down? Like it's not going into a mine. It's not going into a hospital with COVID-19 patients. It's literally like, I don't know, filling out some paperwork and being like, I don't want this account anymore. So I don't care how many Facebook messages you have. Like, how does it stand up? Like if you were to present that, let's say it

was a court situation and you were, you were to present that to 12 people and they were like, okay, fine, Facebook messages, but it's just a phone call or writing a letter or sending an email to the bank being like, shut this shit down. How hard it could be. I don't know if it stands up. I want you to protect yourself, Eve. That's why I'm being so forceful right now. And I think maybe you're asking for it. So if I read that wrong, I apologize in advance. But I think you need to hear this. You need to grow some eggs. Get the fuck out of this account. I don't know how much more harsh I could put this.

I would hope that like as soon as she hears this, she makes an appointment. You can make a virtual appointment with your banks right now and fucking close it down. Yeah. The end.

The end. I don't even want to give it any, like I'm actually exhausted from even having to like listen to your advice to it. She needed some tiger momming though. She needed some tiger momming shame. So,

1,000%. It was just like I'm exhausted that she's, that he's exhausted over this. Like, stop it. Fucking,

and cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it. Or get back together with him. Like, I don't know. Because, listen, I have suspicions, right? So if you do not want these suspicions to continue, shut the shit down. And please, please, E, write back to us and let us know. I want proof.

I want proof that you shut it down. You don't have to give me the account number. You don't have to give me the account number or anything. You just like, let me know you did what you did, what you should have done. during our massive Labor Day event. Hurry into your local Sleep Number store today because we have your number. Okay.

Okay. Oh my God, that one got me because... Yeah. No, because she's left her son in... It's dumb. Yeah. It's a dummy move. Here's the thing.

She sounds like a really wonderful person. Like someone who is that kind is obviously a keeper, but I worry in this horrible world that people will take advantage of that. Well, those are the people typically that get taken advantage of, right? The ones that are like, oh, okay, you just are in school right now?

Oh, okay, like you don't have the time? What was the other fucking lame excuse? I don't know. There was a lot. Okay. No, like no one's trying to con a bitch like you because you're like, or me. You're the bigger bitch.

No one would con you. Oh, fuck. Anyway. Yeah, okay, E, let us know. Wow, yeah. Anyway, let me just. I love when you get fired. I don't actually think you've been fired up this whole coronavirus podcast series like that.

Oh, yeah. I'm just worried about E. I know. E is like, what the fuck? Okay. Anyway, next. Hey, dear Sasha and Lainey. I have a friend.

Let's call her Beth. Fine. Let's do that. Whom I've been friends with for about eight years. I'm in my late 20s and Beth is in her mid 30s. She's a great friend and we like hanging out together. We share similarities, but over the past year, she's been a total copycat. Let me explain.

I hate copycats. Sorry, go on. Both Beth and I happen to have a talent and love of baking. I decided back in October 2018 to start up a baking account on Instagram to show off my baking creations. And I also happen to be, I also happen to have an interest in food photography. A few months later, Beth started up her own baking account, saying I inspired her. I took this as a compliment and carried on. Everything was fine until I started to notice her deliberately copying me and baking the

same recipes and even styling her photos the same way. I found it super annoying as this no longer was inspiration, but rather full-on plagiarism. She's recently eased up, but still, from time to time, she strikes again. Next example, I got married on the May long weekend in 2019. Guess what weekend Beth decided to have her wedding? The May long weekend in 2021. She also was going to book the same venue as us, but the only reason that they didn't was because my venue had no more availability.

She said repeatedly to me that she loved my wedding decor and is using it as inspiration. Something tells me I might be attending a wedding next year that is awfully similar to my own. Beth has asked me to share with her my exact vendors, has inquired about whether I have some of my own decor left over for her to use and to send over pictures of my head table, flowers, color scheme, etc. She's also planning a honeymoon to Hawaii. Guess where my husband and I went on our honeymoon hawaii which leads into her wanting to know about my exact accommodation choices sorry i love how beth is being so not low-key about this she's like can you send me a diary of your whole entire life i'm dying i love this question

i would fucking can't i would go fucking ham on beth i'm sorry oh my god i actually think I actually think it gets worse after this maybe I'm dying I'm sorry what it gets worse than Hawaii what the fuck okay sorry where were we we were at Hawaii we were at Hawaii okay um which leads into her wanting to know my exact accommodation choices itinerary plan activities booking decisions and so on next Jesus Beth and her fiance purchased their first home a few months ago She sent over pictures of their new place and began asking me where I purchased my furniture, what stores she should shop at, and where I think she should place her furniture order. Or, no, sorry, and where I think she should place her furniture. I asked her what her design style is like, to which she claimed that she and I share a similar style.

Shocking. I decided to only share limited info as I'm beginning to notice a pattern here and perhaps I shouldn't be such an open book. I understand that we all gather inspiration from many places. I know I don't own dates and everyone is free to purchase whatever they would like, but there is a difference between actually being inspired, making your own unique choices rather than just wanting to copy everything to a tee. I really love my friends and that includes Beth, but this is starting to get under my skin and beginning to irritate me. I've been told to take all of this copying as a compliment that clearly I have good taste, but I think Beth has gone a little overboard. And with her track record,

it seems like there's no end in sight. So how do you think I should proceed? Do I remain tight lipped when she asks me what the style number of my bed frame is because she's buying this? Oh, no. Oh, my God. Sorry. Continue to like and not acknowledge her IG post that looks almost identical to mine give her taste of give her a taste of her own medicine by copying her not sure what the best strategy would be for her to stop this copying and start being her own person or am i just being too sensitive the goal is for her to ease up while still remaining good friends would love to get your advice thanks jen not my real name oh jen i this is like very hilarious but fucking irritating as shit if i was jen and jen is being very very kind thus far i mean

obviously she's like tits up on it but uh i would have lost it at like probably the ig account i hate copycatters it was funny so listen there is a copycat that i've actually never told you about that I won't tell if I give too many clues you'll know and that this person could listen to it that I will tell you after um that irritates the fuck out of me because I don't like it listen I write a column for you and I tell people about the things that I love right but I'm pretty strategic about the things that I keep to myself that are like unique to me right like I'm never gonna write about my favorite vintage place I'm never gonna write about like the like one pair of shoes that I want just for me, right? Like I share a lot of the things that I love and I do

completely love them, but I definitely make sure to keep stuff to myself. And I find that when people start fucking plagiarizing your style, I don't find that a compliment. I find it fucking annoying. Case in point. So on top of buying the dining room chairs, I bought a fucking new carpet and I was showing our friend Amy the carpet. I was like, do you like it? She was like, yeah, i love it she's like i'm gonna that would look really good in my like my bedroom and i was like no you can't get it i was like no you cannot get that right so you want to shut that shit down when it happens right then and there the stuff that's special to you i find right like something that is like defining like if someone wore my exact glasses like oh like if you started wearing

the exact same pair of glasses that i had i'd be fucking kind of annoyed general shit's up for grabs not specific shit so fucking beth bugs me okay but how come like you and i own the same lately during lockdown sweatpants we've bought the same sweatpants we bought the same bra because you talked about it on laneygossip.com so that's okay yes because that i gave you a black i gave you i gave you a black sweatsuit i gave you shit a bras that no one's gonna see but yourself in yassic like right i think that's what i'm saying but if it was like this amazing sparkly fucking i i don't know i don't wear anything sparkly i'm just saying if i do but you don't well exactly can you imagine if i started wearing the same sparkly shit you did

you'd like my sparkly hoodie yes yes that's what i'm thinking of the one that is all sequins can you imagine if i fucking bought that and started wearing it yeah i'd be mad at you right because it's a great hoodie. Zara's free game. Zara's free game. Anything that's like mass produced or just like pretty generic. I think it's the, it's the fact that they're friends and then there's the Instagram angle and it's like this, it's so weird. It's, there are rules and regs and I hate the fact that Beth is not following the rules and regs. Like even because there's so many things. There's the wedding, the wedding decor, the honeymoon, the Instagram, the item number of the bed frame, the bed frame. That's fucked. Um, cause I guess like once in a while,

even there are some people who don't even like when their friends wear their same scent, right? Cause scent is so personal, right? That's a no, no too. Don't you think? I do. I do think so. But that is one thing. Imagine the one thing multiplied 50 times. This is what's happening here. Yeah. Um, yeah. Like if you walked in, if I walked into your house and you had the exact same furniture as me, I would be very much like, did you single white female me, which is what I think is happening here with Beth. Beth needs to, Beth needs to be shut down much like that bank account in the last, uh, last letter. Fucking Beth needs to be shut down. I don't know. You're listen i think that for sure i think we understand jen um and we get where jen is coming from but

what's weird i think about this whole situation is the minute you articulate it in a way it can sound petty petty yes right so jen is in a fucked up like it's i don't know what's that expression between a rock and a hard place because we both acknowledge that there's legitimate shit here to address. But the moment she opens her mouth and is like, hey, Beth, I don't want you like copying me anymore. Then if you it sounds like you're a conceited dick bag. You know what I mean? Right. Think about how that translates. Right. Yeah. So what that's what's tricky. That's almost what's unfair for what Jen is going through, even though Beth is the single white female here. I'm assuming that whatever, whatever single white female being a generalization of what this

situation is i don't think that jen has to have like a sit down with beth i think jen just simply needs to hold some things to herself and not fucking release the itinerary and the item numbers and um the destinations and the fucking phone numbers like i i can't believe she's done so much this far in their relationship but i think now she needs to cut it off like oh i don't like it's very easy to lie it's very easy to be like oh I don't I don't know where I got that from I say that shit all the time actually if someone like likes a certain thing that is like specific to me I'm like oh I don't know I lie can't you lie it's not like a mean lie it's just you don't give up the information to that I think the Instagram account is kind of free game like

people fucking swipe shit all the time and it is like basically a glorified Pinterest account so i don't really know how you're i also don't like um jen's suggestion of like starting to copy beth style that's just like no no no no no that's no that's whack um but i do think that moving forward you just stop telling her every fucking detail of everything that she wants to have yeah i think you're gonna need to jen i think you're gonna need gonna need to learn evasive maneuvers okay you're saying evasive not lie okay that's better that sounds bobbing and weaving bobbing and weaving, bobbing. Oh, what? I don't know. Like Jen and Brad, let's call Jen's husband, Brad, whatever. Right. I don't know. Brad got it from somewhere. Yeah. Oh, I got it at some

flea market. I don't remember. Yeah. Or change the subject or don't answer. Well, I don't think you could just be fucking mute when someone asks you something, but just, I like what you said, fucking bob and weave. Or you know what might be fun is be like, Hey, where did you get that couch? Oh, yeah. I'm starting to hate it. That's amazing. Oh, you're right. That is. Oh, I love your bed. Can you give me the solemn? Sure. But like, I hate it now. I regret getting it. And I'm looking for something else. Brad and I are actually looking for something else. And when we find it, I'll let you know. But I hate it. Like, it's just I don't know what I was thinking. Yeah. yes you can use all of these options right like sprinkle in that and then with a little bit of

evasiveness and you're good exactly evasiveness and then um I don't know-ness and then hating something and yeah see where that because it's so weird I don't know that you can have the upfront face-to-face conversation being like don't copy me no you can't it all of a sudden gets sweet belly high you can't do that that is this is so fucking weird isn't that weird though so I don't that's why I'm like wow Jen's a good person because I would not I would almost not want to be friends with someone who like snatched my style and like everything about me that would irritate me that irritates me a lot actually well in a way though does it make you feel a little bit bad for Beth because Beth clearly doesn't have confidence in her okay no Beth fucking get a life

figure out your life figure out what you like what you don't what if Beth doesn't yeah that's what I mean is like, Beth has no sense of, don't take me down that path. Nope. Nope. Okay. Fine. Take me down empathy. Don't, I don't want to change my advice here. Don't make me feel bad for Beth. Fine. Fine. Uh, we won't. And we'll leave that there, Jen. So those are the three things that you can do. Lie, evasive maneuvers, and, um, dump on all the things, dump on the things that you actually love totally oh my god i love that um keep your questions coming to me at sasha at ladygossip.com and don't forget to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts leave comments and reviews they really help other people find our podcast and um again this is a podcast where

we're clearly not heroes no we've established that from season one sending love to all the heroes out there thank you so much for listening we'll be back next week bye stop wasting your nights on a mattress that doesn't get you experience the most comfortable mattress in the world the sleep number smart bed at the touch of a button you can personalize your comfort choose firmer or softer adjust cooler to warmer and right now save up to twenty five hundred dollars during our massive labor day event hurry into your local sleep number store today because we have your number We'll be right back.