What's Your Drama - Don’t Scissor your Brother

Episode Date: February 28, 2018

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers podcast.Today we have a special guest - our friend and colleague - Liz Trinnear! YAY! And to make it extra special we recorded a supersized edition with her, as we will all be ass deep in Oscar coverage next week so unfortunately there will be no podcast next week. But we hope this one is enough to tie you over.On the show: Millennial entitlement, are Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing the nasty, and also, are Lorde and Jack doing the nasty as well. Then we get to your questions! How to get your needle dick boyfriend back, how to get over yourself so you can get over an ex, and we give a few makeup tips.Thanks for tuning and keep your feedback/questions coming to me at [e-mail] and hit us up on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course on iTunes, Google Play, and now Spotify.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Lainey. Hi, it's Sasha. And welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers, Millennial Edition, because we have a very special guest with us, our colleague, Elizabeth Trenere, Lizzie. I call her Lizard. Just, you have heard of Liz before, because Liz is actually Kathleen's best friend, who writes on the blog. Um, so whenever Kathleen talks about her BFF, that's Liz.

And you also were the one who predicted that when Lena Dunham and Jack Antonoff broke up, you were the first to call that it was going to be Lord. How did you know that? Kate, so I'm obsessed with this whole situation. Okay. Because I feel like I have spidey senses on like, you know, reading a room, but reading pictures and also reading energy and knowing how much jack contributed to her album melodrama and then knowing that they've been spotted out together and they are too buddy buddy like i always compare

it to like my male best friend tyrone okay and i'm like if people saw us on the street like doing what they were doing would people be weird about that and i just think the way that they sit on stage and they sing together it's too intimate the way they look together there's been a few performances where lord has been sitting on the side of stage and jack joins her and they're just there's something there there's like a spark that's there whether they deny it or not she has denied it she has denied it yeah she was like a fan recently she did a instagram live kind of takeover and a fan basically said are you guys together and she goes guys stop it and i'm like ugh. Of course she's not going to admit it though. No. Your description of Lord and Jack is like

making my dogs horny though. That's what you're hearing in the background. Is that what you're hearing? Yeah. Like they're writhing around on their mat. They're scratching their beds and they're like, yeah, more. Okay. But to play devil's advocate, based on that, like the chemistry and the way they are together, you could say the same thing about the figure skaters, Tessa Virtue and Scott Moyer, who are like, everybody wants them to be a real thing. Because they are having sex. For sure, because not only are they having sex, they have had sex before. So, of course, their energy is palpable. Yes, they used to date.

When they were 10. No. I'm on. They diddle-daddled over the years, for sure. But can I just get back to that Lena Dunham, Lorde? I guarantee you people listening right now are like, go back to Tessa and Scott. Go back to Tessa and Scott. Fine, but just quickly, though.

The reason why I think that it is on is because you wouldn't betray your best friend. Like, Lorde wouldn't betray Lena Dunham by going arm in arm with her ex-boyfriend. Would you do that? If I broke up with Kory and then – well, Kory and I both don't like to be touched. Okay, but let's say you did like – That's a bad example. Let's say you like human touch. Would you go around slinging arms with Kory?

Would you, Liz? No, you would fucking have my back and not do that. I also wouldn't be seen in public. Like, knowing – the camera's shots on those photos that we're talking about are way too close in proximity. For you not to notice that they're there. This isn't like they were on a private island together and they were secretly shot. It was like they were walking down the street, there was a cameraman in front of them, and they clearly were like, oh, they're going to catch a photo.

It's just weird. It's too close for comfort. And I think there's an agreement. I think Lena knows about it. And I think she's okay with it. I think they fell out of love. And we're going to hear in the next couple months that Lorde and Jack are an item. And they're going to walk red carpets together.

And I'm very excited about it. Okay. But given that you are the millennial here, this shit happens all the time. Like, I know that we can have standards like, would you sling arms with Corey? Of course not. But we are technically of, well, you, Sash, are a borderline millennial. I am not. So our, like, the standards of a certain generation are not the standards of another generation.

Like, look at how the Bieber, Selena, Hadid, whole. How they operate. How they operate, like based on what we just said in those standards, would you, if you're a friend and the ex of your friend and whatnot, but it happens all the time in these friend groups, in these millennial friend groups. Like I think about Hailey Baldwin, who is tied to Justin Bieber, but is now tied to Shawn Mendes. Correct.

Weird. Nobody talks about that. Nobody talks about the fact that like Justin and Shawn probably have this rivalry and then Hailey's like the person in between. There you go. There you go. Because millennials think they can do everything, right? They can do no wrong.

I'm just saying, I don't know that you can base. Like, you were like, would you? And weren't you? And I don't know that we can actually apply our standards of behavior to millennial and Gen Z standards of behavior, is what I'm saying. We're also non-famous, which is another element of it. Correct. Okay.

Correct. We have to go back to Tessa and Scott for a second. Yes, please. Oh my God, the emails that we have gotten over the Olympics about people, and this is not just- Just Canadians? No. So just across the board.

You should see, like, American outlets are shipping Tessa and Scott, like, why can't they be together? Their love is so great. I had somebody write to me and say, can it please be a podium proposal? Like, they were hoping that while they were getting their gold medal, Scott would drop to his knees and propose. I literally just put my hand up because, did you see their last skate for the Tragically hip. Long time running. Yeah. Did you see how he had his hand on her neck? Yes. And how it was

pressing on her, what is that, your vocal box? Which you don't do when it's just your friend. That is an artistic flair. That is like, I'm going to fucking deep dive on you tonight. You can swear on this? Yeah, you can say whatever you want. You can drop the fuck bomb? You clearly We haven't ever tuned in to Lizzie. Guys, you guys just popped my podcast chair. So just fuck, fuck, fuck, motherfucker. That's so fun. We're never going to swear.

You can do what Scott and Tessa are apparently doing and fuck a lot. No, I mean, the part of especially figure skating, I have because I am obsessed and have been watching figure skating for like decades. So I can give you the history and whatever. Like part of especially ice dance, you're playing a part when you're out there. You're an actor. So I don't know that you can be like, would you touch your friend like that? Like, they're playing roles.

So long time running, you evoke choking, like neck touching on that song? Whoa, this conversation just went. These are the details that go into a performance. It's like the same people who are like, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson are totally fucking because they played in three movies in Fifty Shades and it was like three years. And for sure, he hates his wife and they're secretly having an affair. Okay, so you're of the mindset that they're not – it's just for show. I just – I think that – listen, why would two people who are single and young go out

of their way to keep talking about their relationship like a business partnership? Did you see their interview after they won the gold medal and they – and all he kept saying was – it's almost like he was saying, everybody fucking chill out. We have a business partnership. But why would they hide it? But also, this is my other thing, why would you hide it? Why can't you just leave it mysterious? Why are you shoving it down our throat that it's not real?

And that's the thing that sketches me out. I think right now they are basically telling the world, like, we don't want the pressure of everyone knowing we're together. We don't want the pressure of putting a title on it. We don't want the pressure of people knowing that we are a real item in real life. We're rocking boots. And like, because what if it doesn't work out? Right.

And they're not, their relationship is not at that level yet. But I do believe there's genuine passion in their eyes. I love how invested, like, these are figure skaters. I know. They're not Rob and Kristen. But that people are so invested in this. We have a special request to discuss from Jacek. Discuss another figure skating pair that freaks him out.

The nipples? The brother and sister. The brother and sister. Let's be the fruit. Okay. Can we please talk about this? This is weird. I don't care who you are.

I would never figure skate with my brother like that. My brother is four years older than me. And honestly, like the closest we will ever get is when we were like roughhousing and he put me in a headlock. Like we're not, no. You're not synchronizing your moods together. Figure skating is so intimate and it grosses me out. It grosses me out.

When you have to wrap your legs around your brother's face, I feel like that just isn't good times anymore. I don't think it's good for anybody. Yeah. Like you can't scissor your brother. Can you name the podcast that?

You can't scissor your brother. Oh my God, Sasha, we should change the name of this podcast to the weekly advice podcast. You can't scissor

your brother. Anyway, Jacek was, during the Olympics, they would come on and he would cover his eyes. Yes. He'd be like,

I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. Like it was so freaky to him. Also because they look exactly the same.

yeah well people were like it's beautiful like they've trained together their whole lives their best friends like how happy they are I was like ew it just it made me feel weird and I don't know if that's the way I looked at it but I'm glad that Jacek and I are of the same opinion and so too I just don't I don't know I'm gonna get a lot of comments about me saying this but I just don't I don't approve I think Sash had the last word the minute you scissor your brother it's not good times. Okay, so before we begin, because this is a super-sized edition, because we've missed a couple of weeks due to traveling, and then next week is the Oscars, but we wanted to invite you here because you're a millennial. A true one. And I also take all

your selfies. I like your photos. I'm like, Lizard, I need a photo. Can you take a cool hipster photo for me? That's what I do. I'm the old lady who goes up to Lizard and is like, I like this outfit. What should I do? Where do I go? What's the lighting? Liz knows really good lighting. Yeah. Liz does know really good lighting. But she is a millennial through and through. And you've been getting a lot of letters, right? I do. I get a lot of letters that we actually haven't answered about career and career advice and how to like make the next step or how to like just further their career in general. And these we get a lot from 20-year-olds. And Lainey and I haven't really answered any of them at all. So it's perfect that you're here.

And I know that you're quite passionate about drive, especially when it comes to age. So fucking unleash on us. Well, give us a prelude. Like what you – give us the millennial groundwork. So the thing about millennials to understand is that it's a weird time to grow up. Like ICQ, MSN Messenger, chat rooms, chat roulette, like that whole coming of the internet came strong in our time, right? Like, it's like there was a time when the internet was just starting out and you had to dial in and you were pissed if your brother picked up the phone and, like, messed up your internet connection.

And so we're used to having the internet. And I think the internet has changed generations, obviously. But it also changes the way you see the world and see things. Like, for instance, I don't have to store things in my brain because Google does it for me. And you know that, right? But you're very aware that, like, your brain works different than, like, me. A hundred percent. I thought that, you know, the New England Patriots were from England.

So, you know, these are facts that I Googled. That's a millennial thing? No, that's just a Liz Trenier-ism. Okay. No, that's just me being like, I'm really terrible at geography. Like, I asked the other day during the Olympics if, like, Switzerland was in Scandinavia, which I learned recently it's not. But, you know, that's just, no.

I'm just saying that when you know that every answer is at your fingertips in your phone, that's literally attached to your hip at all times. It's your lifeline to everything, your friends, your bank account, your emails, your family. Everything's easy. Everything is accessible. Right. So that affects you, and that affects how you communicate, and I think that's a huge issue with millennials.

I also will give us a good rep. There's a lot of great things about millennials. And, you know, things like knowing how to take a good photo and where the good lighting is. But there's a lot of that hard work that's in us because you do have to stand out and work harder than the others because there's probably someone on the internet waiting for your job right away. And you just said hard work and, like, let's not get it twisted, Liz. You have worked your ass off to get where you are. And I think that there's a lot of eye roll when it comes to millennials because they always just expect shit and they don't work fucking hard. But there is a breed, a pedigree of sorts that you follow, right?

You worked really fucking hard and you did all the dirty work. Well, and I think the thing is people think, oh, you're so lucky. You get to like dress up and have such a cool job and you get to like interview celebrities. That must be so cool. It's like were you there when I was 16 outside of a venue posting posters for like god awful bands just to meet somebody at Universal so you could be a music licensor? No. And did you have the 6 a.m. to 8 a.m. morning shift radio show on a Saturday? Because that's the only time slot they would give you so you could kind of hone your schools.

Yeah, yeah. So in, you know, I think in university, you know, I just realized that in order to do what I want to do, whatever that is, I need to work hard and get all the experience I can right now and use my resources right now. And I think what I've noticed in the later half of the millennials is there's a sense of entitlement. Like, you have that. Why don't I have that? But it's not like that. You have to work for it.

You can't just expect things. You can't just expect because the girl beside you has this, you deserve it. No. Did you work for it? No. So you've observed that from your cohort? Yeah. Yeah.

I think I have observed that. I think, like, you know, in university, I was challenged by, like, a mark, I remember, by one of my fellow students. And she challenged my assignment. Did you call her a mark? Yeah, I guess. No, no, she challenged my mark. She challenged your mark. Okay, okay.

I was like, oh, what is that term? Oh, hi, mark. It's just what us millennials talk about. But it was something that really affected me. It was like, she was like, well, how'd she get that? Like, mine was this. It was that idea of, like, if I could get that, like, then how didn't she get that? Right.

And that has always stuck with me. And that's been – whether it's interns that come in entitled or other people in the industry that are entitled, you have to pay your dues and you have to just be kind, do your work, do a good job, and keep all the doors open. You never know who's going to be your next employer, who's going to be your next whatever it is. you just keep all the doors open and don't walk into a room acting like, do you know who I am? Interns terrify me because they are… Me too. I'm so afraid of them.

Because they have so much confidence. And sometimes I'm like, when I'm like, oh, could you do whatever, X, Y, Z, and they look disappointed that I've given them… A task? A task. I'm like, oh, don't worry. Don't worry. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. Like, they freak me out. They freak me out because they… I feel like that they'll, like, talk back to me. Well, and I think that's, that's it. It's like, you're there to prove yourself. Why are you proving against yourself? Like, I think like you've been given this awesome opportunity. And when I was interning at a music licensing house, which was my dream, I wanted to make soundtracks to movies originally. I would do like the dumbest jobs. I would be like,

do you need your desk cleaned? Do you want me to like alphabetize all your CDs that you get in the male, like, I would go above and beyond just to prove myself so that one day when they're looking for that eager beaver, they would call on me, which they haven't since I got my job in TV. Maybe that's not the best advice. No. But I think that entitlement is the biggest enemy in millennials. And you are not entitled to anything.

You have to prove yourself. You have to work hard. And you have to do a good job in order to succeed. Well, you're a fucking anomaly. because it doesn't yeah I'm not sure that entitlement

to be fair to millennials I'm not sure that entitlement is exclusive to millennials either I mean like no no no they're a fucking

like 45 year olds I meet who like seem super entitled of course and again it's like all generations

deal with this but I feel like lately that's been for an early career advice situation yeah I would just say

drop all the ego at the door walk in do the work and that's it yeah eat shit a bit it's important to do that. So with that in mind, shall we, Liz? Yeah. Okay. So our first question comes from Tay. Tay. So here's what Tay wants to know. Tay's like, I am just in need of inspiration

from y'all and brokenhearted. I wrote a previous email about reaching out to an ex, Bobby, who I broke up with a year and a half ago at 25. I wasn't ready for marriage because in short, I didn't have my shit together. I mentioned that he wasn't well endowed and that was a reason when in truth I was just looking for bigger, better, and feeling like hot shit. I loved him and he treated me the best I've ever been treated, which confused me with thinking he was weak. He loved me even when I told him awful past decisions I made and a health scare I discovered when we were a month into dating. I've been pining for him every day since the split and hopeful in my heart that we would wind up together. He was my best friend. We finally caught up on the phone a few weeks ago

and I thought I may have a shot at winning him back as it went really well and was comfortable. Anyway, after a year and a half, last weekend, I finally ran into him at the bar. He was in town for a weekend visiting friends and luckily I looked fabulous in a red jumpsuit. But I mentioned to a guy friend that I wonder why Bobby isn't acting friendly to me and he said, well, I don't know much, but even I know he's a small dick because of you. Ladies, I am crushed. I was naive enough to think me telling my girlfriends that wouldn't get out. Now I absolutely understand him hating me and the gravity of how much I have embarrassed him.

It is supposedly old news that I broke up with Bobby because he is a small dick. These are the best comments I've ever heard in my life. As he was absolutely perfect with a heart of gold and sexy as fuck, so everyone wondered what went wrong for me to dump him. And I'm the last one to find out this is common knowledge. I'm also dreading how I seem to society as well If I were a guy, I wouldn't touch me with a 10-foot pole now Please tell me how I can atone or how to move on

I have a fabulous trip to South Africa planned in April with my BFF I have a career, I do everything I can to improve myself But I feel as if it is all for nothing now My name is tainted and I have lost the only man I've loved in a healthy way because of my big mouth I'm 27 and he's 30 and I know what I want in a partner and a husband And I finally have my shit together Any words of wisdom would be so appreciated as I feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out.

Oh, Tay. I want to like frame that. Is that a small dick? Don't. Well, keep your mouth shut because like I'm my own worst enemy with that. I have loose lips sometimes with like my comments on how blunt I can be. Yeah. But that's an innocent mistake.

I mean like… Who wouldn't… Sorry, go on. But like… Who wouldn't say that? Like, to your girlfriends, it's like, yeah, he's got a small baby. Yeah, of course. Well, actually, I don't, you know.

Yeah, especially when you're, maybe not when you're, like, knee deep in the relationship. But if you are, like, starting to get together with a guy, I remember I got together with a guy, no joke. And look at how small, remember you were commenting on how small my fucking hands are? Look how tiny my fucking pinky is right now. It looks like a tiny. It is, like, maybe two millimeters. Micro baby carrot.

Yes. I was with a guy who had a dick this size. Why? Ew, a micro dick? a micro dick a fucking micro needle dick and it was

it wasn't his fault it wasn't but so that was it I was like okay and he knew he had one and would always talk about his small dick so you have to

I feel like you have to it's not like this guy that Tay's boyfriend okay Bobby isn't going to like fucking make that

his Instagram handle I'm Bobby and my dick is small you know like like I don't know that you can own that but here's the thing

I have small tits and I own that so why is it anything. Why is it different? Because small tits are actually fashionable. Like no one on the runway. Who says a small dick isn't fashionable? I'm sorry. They're not sending dicks. They're not sending micro dicks down the fucking Versace runway. Dear God, please send me a micro dick, said no one ever. Like, it's true. I don't think you can compare small tits to small dick. Okay, But I will say, Tay, be as forward as possible.

Like, I think honesty is the policy and there's nothing to lose at this point. You've already addressed what you need to address and I think you should just go to the source now and just say, listen, like, I was young and dumb and I said some things that I didn't mean to and I'm trying to do this without a smile because it's just the microdick keeps coming back in my head and scarring me. Not that he has a microdick, Tay. I know. Bobby has a small dick.

None of my girl dick. Got it. But I think, you know, you just got to like just go out there and say what you mean to say in the words of John Mayer. You're trying to say fight back. Fight for Bobby. Fight for Bobby. Well, at least if you still have that Bobby in your heart, at least give yourself – you

owe yourself at this point a conversation. Try to have a conversation and be as honest as possible. Lay it all on the table. And then if he doesn't – if shit doesn't stick, get off the pot or whatever that thing is. I agree. I think that I wouldn't – I would – if she really still loves Bobby, if Bobby is her dude, I would go to Bobby and profess my fucking love because she clearly still is in love with him. But I wouldn't bring up the fact like, oh, remember the time I told everyone you had a small dick? Sorry about that.

Like I would pretend that you never talked about his small dick to anybody. But what if he brought it up? But what if he brought it up? Which is possible. If he does, I'm mortified. I'm horrible. I'm a stupid person for ever saying that. But I don't think the lead in is, Bobby, I want to get back together.

P.S. Sorry that I called your dick a needle dick. Right? Like, you wouldn't ever bring that up if you didn't have to. But I say, take a stab and try to fight for him. And then if he's like, fuck you, you stupid hoe, then you move on. Girl, there are tons of men out there. There's tons of needle dicks out there for you to have.

Well, to your point, I agree with you. Like, she's clearly saying right now she can't get Bobby out of her mind. So you have to go for it. I think the even up here, because as you know, I'm all about evening up. Like, I'm always about a balance sheet. I'm very, very tit for tat that way. And the fact of the matter is, is that Bobby feels embarrassed. So in order to sort of even up the situation, you, Tay, have to, like, declare to the world

that you are all about Bobby. Throw yourself at Bobby. Is what I'm trying to say. Like, you're in the red jumpsuit, you're in the bar, get another jumpsuit of a different color, meet him at the bar another night, and make it clear to, like, everybody in the bar that you are so fucking hot for Bobby that you're willing to look, like, embarrassing. But then how about if Bobby's like, you look stupid, I don't want to be with you now that you've just been a total loser.

At the very least, there is, like, a karmic even up. You know what I mean? Like… I thought you meant, like, you tell them the story about the time you farted in public and like it's like a funny embarrassing whatever whatever this guy has spent god knows how long walking around their friend group being laughed at because tay broke up with him because she didn't feel it right like literally i mean literally like i want you to understand that he has had to wear this for however long and meanwhile she's strutting into the bar with her red fucking

jumpsuit looking amazing and she's like oh why isn't he talking to me much well duh because he's standing there and everybody is it's on their minds right everybody in that bar that night she's in the red jumpsuit and he's like standing there having his beer and trying not to think about how small his dick is so for me if I'm Bobby I'm like well fuck like everybody knows this about me to make it fair at least she kind of has to look like an idiot too If you're going to come back into a relationship and one person has been so humiliated, at least you go back in there and you make – at least you make the other people who know that he is a small dick think, holy shit, Tate, like, wants to get back on that small dick so bad that she is, like, flipping her hair around and, like, straddling him. And that small dick must be so genius. And everyone's like, I want the small dick.

Now I want Bobby. And then everybody at the bar is going to be like, well, whatever magic is in Bobby's small dick must be so great because Tay tonight is, like, all over it. That, to me, is what I would want if I was Bobby. I like that idea if, in fact, she can apologize to Bobby and then they get back together. And then every opportunity for ever and ever they're out in the public,

then she's just like, fucking, I fucking love ratting his fucking dick in however many ways she wants to. But to do that before, I feel like will fucking kill her cause because he might be like turned off by that, right? Like if they're meant to be, take a stab at it, see if that's a go, if he's into it. And then after that, then yeah. He's already turned off by her. He wouldn't talk to her because that's the girl who told everybody I have a small dick.

And I just want to say that I don't think that just because you have a small dick, it doesn't mean that you can't do anything with it. So I don't want to shame small dick people here. What I've also found very interesting is that skinny, small people seem to have big dicks. And I will also say… I know. Right?

Mm-hmm. Skinny dudes always seem to have big dicks. Baby arms. Oh, my God. My mom's totally going to listen to this. This is so gross. One of my… Like skinny rockers.

Oh, God. Yeah. Like, that's what comes to mind. Because rockers are always skinny. Yes. And then they take their pants off and you're like, holy shit, Tommy Lee. Yeah. Okay.

Oh. Right. Right. Cool. Oh, thanks, guys. I'm like red in the face. Google search who Liz is with. P.S.

Liz happens to be married to a really tall skinny rocker. Okay. Okay. We're just going to end this. Anyway, Tay, just throw yourself at him. Yes. Because even if – this is the thing. Even if Bobby doesn't want her back, I think in the universe, that's your atonement.

Okay. How about that? Yeah. Okay. Are you ready for the next question? Yes. I love this. This person's name is X because they want to be anonymous.

So here's what X said. I don't know how to stop thinking about an X who I don't care about. Wait. Wait. You don't care about them, but I don't know how to stop thinking about an X who I don't care about. Okay. I know that doesn't make sense.

See? I needed a minute. I know that doesn't make sense and that's exactly why I'm writing you because I'm not sure what it all means. I'm 35 and married to the man I truly am meant to be with. I have a great social life. I love my family, but I always think about my ex. Let's call him Victor.

Victor and I dated all through my 20s. He was fun and exciting, but in the end, I found out he cheated on me and that, in the end, was our demise. It was hard moving on from him, but I did and ended up finding my husband, who, again, I really love, but I still think about Victor. I think about the good and bad times. And while I don't want to be with him, I still can't stop thinking about him. I look on his Instagram and Facebook pages to see what he's been up to.

I look at the comments he writes on people's posts, etc. I just think about him a lot and go through the emotions and play a lot of the times we had in our relationship together. Our vacations, our fights, our highs, our lows, and everything in between. Wow. Okay. I can see this is very clear. This can't be healthy, can it?

I'm too embarrassed to ask my friends if this is something they do, so that's why I'm anonymously writing to you. I feel so guilty that I'm having these thoughts because if my husband was thinking about another woman like this, I'd be so angry. Yeah, no joke. Am I a horrible wife? Do you guys have any advice or suggestions on if this is normal or not? Okay, so X keeps thinking about Victor, even though Victor cheated on her, and now she's

happily with her husband. He's the one that got away, though. Yeah. That's a classic case in all… whether it was on your, you know, on your doing, like, little dick, you know, and you broke it off. Poor Bobby. Poor Bobby. Right. But I think this is a situation like we've all had those people in our lives where you're

like, but was that the person that I was meant to be? Or we've all had those questions in our head and I think that's totally normal. But the fact that you keep fixating on it reminds me of like you don't have closure there because your ego got hurt. You're not… I don't want to use the word ego because that has a negative connotation. But like, you know, who you are as person fundamentally got hurt and injured by the fact that he cheated on you. And that sucks. And cheating, you just never have that closure. Like when there's a cheating situation, you always will hang on to a bit. There's scar tissue. There's always scar tissue. And that's what I think too. Like I totally agree. You're right on, Liz. And I think also before… typically the relation… the

really big meaningful relationship before the marriage one, that one kind of always lingers because it was the one that could have been if you had taken the other road that could have been you with that person. So I understand that. I mean, I've talked about it on this podcast before. It took me a really long time to get over my ex even when I was with Corey because it's like you're just trying to make sense of the fact that like that was a thing and that could have been more and it didn't because said person cheated on you. And so then you're dealing with that would have, should have, could have, what would have happened there. So there's always lingering feelings. The problem is, you know, it goes back to what I always fucking think. Social media

fucking ruins your life. And if what she needs to do is to cut herself off fucking Facebook and Instagram and unfollow his ass so that you can stop the fucking addiction because what it is, is you're addicted to the fact of knowing his life and like you shouldn't be getting that much intel from your ex-boyfriend. You shouldn't know that much. And as soon as you stop with the Instagram and the Facebook, you'll actually realize that the thoughts of him will start to slow down. Digital detox. It's good for everybody.

Like, whether you're going through a breakup, whether you're going through heartache or, you know, whatever it is, jealousy of a person. You shouldn't have tabs on your ex-boyfriend all the time. No, that's weird. Especially when you're married. But that's also like, you know, the… Unless they're like big losers, then it's really sad. Okay.

Just to look at their fails in life? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Sorry. I mean, I know that's not in the spirit of kindness, but, like, it feels so good. You're like, huh-huh. And that doesn't even apply to exes.

It applies to, like, old friends who, like, were mean to you or assholes to you, and then you go back and you're like, okay. Do you do that, though? What are you talking about? No. Of course. I also like when you secretly, like, have a giggle at somebody. Not something bad happening, but, like, karma bites you in the bum.

And, like, when you're mean to people in high school and then something bad happens to you a bit later in life, whether it's you lost a job because you were stupid or something like that, I'm like, eh, too bad. Look, it's always someone who's wronged you. Yeah. You know, like, we're not going to – and just as you said, Liz, it's not – you're not wishing anything bad, bad, bad to happen to them. But if anyone wrongs you, there's always going to be part – I guess if you're not like this, sorry, you're just a better person than I am. But I'm petty. Yeah. People are petty and you kind of want to go back and be like, ha ha, the problem in this

case with X is that what she's not processing, as you're saying about closure, is rejection. Like fundamentally, she still feels that there was something wrong with her that led to his rejection of her with infidelity and that is that scar that never heals because it's not him you can't get over, X. I think it's you. like you're looking back at who you were and you're like what was lacking in me that made him do that and that's what kind of you have to work on either through therapy or talking more to your friends it's a perspective tweak he cheated on you because it's his shit it wasn't your shit but

unless you finally one day come to terms with the fact that he didn't cheat on you he betrayed himself, like he actually like did himself wrong, then you're always going to be like this. Because, you know, what's it going to… Is he, this guy who cheated on you, worth throwing away all the things that you have right now? You know the answer to that question. No.

So it's him, but you just keep blaming yourself. And you have to also like check yourself and be like, why am I so much time lost in consumed thoughts of this person who I don't… And she says, I don't give a shit about like, and I do believe her. I don't actually think she's like pining to be with him. Yeah. But when you realize and stop and think, oh my God, I've wasted so much goddamn energy on someone I actually legitimately don't give a fuck about, then you're like, that's also

a nice wake up call too, right? Yeah. To be like, oh, what am I doing? I'm just being a total fucking idiot by wasting all this time. Yeah. So one, phase one, get off fucking like, stop following him on social media. Unfollow, stop creeping. Two, read a fucking self-help book or go talk to your friends who can give you a slap in

the face. Or a therapist. Or a therapist. Yeah. Talk it out. Because you, yeah, you need to understand that like he, you didn't, you didn't, you didn't, you weren't lacking. He was.

I love that. That's good. I love that. But at the same time, maybe what you need, X, is some real talk. Like, no, don't do this. This is like super, super loser behavior. Enough. So it's hard. Rejection is hard in general because there's always those reflection moments of like, well, I'm pretty great. I have this, this, and this in line. I feel like I was awesome to you. Why weren't you awesome to me? And that, again, look at that at a deep root. That's you reflecting on yourself. Like, that's your own self-love. Feed yourself with self-love so you can get over that guy.

that it's like, dude, you're the one that got away. Like you're a catch and you obviously have a great relationship with your husband, but you're so fixated on the world. That's a thing that I have an issue with. It's like everybody needs to like me. But then the second I stopped caring about everybody liking me and kind of embracing the quote unquote haters was the second I started being my most confident. It's like I feel the most secure in who I am now as soon as I kind of let that go. Not everyone's going to like you and not everyone's going to be right for you. my head and everyone's going to talk bad about you behind your back. Everybody.

I can't. I wish there was like a little like check-in line to hear what people talk shit about me because sometimes it's really funny. I love it. I don't ever want to know that. My favorite thing is hate mail. But yeah, it's super Pollyanna to say this, but at the same time, I don't see where you're going to gain anything from doing this.

It's obviously making you miserable, ex. And I think you already know that the alternative to what you're doing is – what are you going to do? Like, Facebook him privately and be like, let's get a hotel room and jam? No. Right. And that's not what she wants anyway. No.

So, yeah. Okay. It's discipline. It's time to retrain yourself. Yeah. Which is a really exciting project. And also what you just said, which is, like, kind of shame yourself. You're being a loser right now.

So, like, stop being a loser. Yeah. Stop being a loser and stop fucking trying to troll this dude that you don't really even give a fuck about. Retrain your mind. I'll say stop sitting in a pile of your own pee. Because it's like sitting in a pile of your own pee. Or his piss.

Or him drink his own piss. Like, just get out of the pee in general. Yeah. Okay. Last question. This comes from Beth. So here's what Beth is saying, Liz. Oh.

Ready? Not relationship? No, this one's a fun one for you. Okay. Okay. I'm taking a girl's trip to Vegas at the end of February, and going to Sin City has made me want to try some different things style-wise. One trend I want to try is unconventional colors of lipstick, but where does a girl

start? Oh, I can help here, too. I am good with red lipsticks. I love the brand Bite that you've… that Sasha's recommended. But I'm talking more blues, greens, black, purples, etc. Are there rules for bold lipstick? Should it match my outfit or clash? Are some colors for day and some more suitable for night?

Is the key just slapping it on and owning it? I have a fair complexion, so I don't want to look too goth. And I don't really wear lots of makeup, so I won't have a full contoured face going on or anything like that. Thanks for your advice. Okay. So what do you think? Fair complexion.

I wonder who has that. Liz is very, very fair. Translucent. You might say, as you would say, not from Switzerland, but you could be from Scandinavia. There we go. Guys, I love making fun of myself and the dumb shit I say. I'm blonde. I'm pale.

My high school nickname was Lamb. No, you would have fit right in. Like when you went to Sweden earlier last year, you came back and people, yeah, you You must have been, like, people must have been speaking Swedish to you. 100%. Yeah. And then I would be like, uh-huh. And then I would just kind of carry on and they'd look at me like, why aren't you responding?

Anyways. Okay. Here's my rule with a deep lip, like a bright lip, a statement lip. Make sure whatever you do is you don't compliment it by a deep, dark, bold eye. Like, give one or the other. Either like a bold eye and a nude lip or a nude lid and great lips. You know what I mean? Like for me, if I'm going to rock like a deep purple or an eggplant color, I know I'm

going to go easy on my eyes. You can still put some fake lashes on, but keep that nude or that lid nude and or just soft nudes. Like you just don't want the double because that's when you start looking clownish. I also think that a really good tip, especially if you're doing a dark lip, like a deep plum or like a whatever, like whatever, brown. I think you really need to outline your lips with like a nice red or like something light so that you're bringing more fullness to your mouth. And it doesn't have to be a thick liner, but just something to outline the silhouette of your mouth.

So you need to like brighten it up with a brighter line. Well, I wear a lot of dark, dark colors. And when I do, I overdraw a little. And I actually don't draw. I actually don't use a pencil. What you do is like, you know, when you put lipstick on, then you purse your lips together. And it actually, what happens when you do that is you can, you can draw or you can push the lipstick further down, further, further down. But when you do that with your own lips, it creates a natural, a natural curve. So you're not drawing, it looks so fake. But when you do that with your own pursing, the, it's softer. Yeah. But you, yeah, You do want to over plump a little bit.

Guys, look. Fun fact. I can't rub my lips together. What do you mean? What do you mean? Look at it. Don't do it. It's because you're doing it with your teeth.

Yeah. Let's do this. I can't. You can't go like this? No. You can't just put your… Oh. No.

It's a big joke in the makeup room that I can't rub my lips together. So if you're like me and you can't rub your lips together, it's okay. But also, don't be afraid to buy like a complimentary color too, lip liner color. Because like I find when I do have those deep lips, I just need a bit more definition, you know, and what you were saying with kind of an ombre look, like faded in. But nothing's worse when the colors are totally off. So make sure you're using complementary, whether it's a cool red with a cooler tone deep lip.

But go big, man. Like you're in Vegas. Who cares? Yeah. Day or night. Day or night. Doesn't fucking matter. And also like make sure like if you are in Vegas with your girlfriends and you feel like

giving someone a kiss, like a stranger a kiss on the cheek, do it with that like green lipstick. I'm sorry. When you go to Vegas, do you kiss randoms on the cheek? No, I'm just saying like if you're, in my head, I'm picturing like girls trip. Like I'm picturing like woo woo, you know, like I don't get crunk. Go kiss some people. I'm not sure about the touching people. Okay. Okay. So don't kiss the people. I don't know guys. I've been in a relationship for seven years, so I don't know what it's like to be out there. I totally agree with you about keeping the eye pretty simple. I mean, I think the most you do is a really good liner. Yes. But no shadows, a good liner, mascara. But I love a strong brow with a strong lip.

Same, same. So I would even, if you want to do anything around the eye area, go a little bit darker and thicker around your brows. Structure. Give your face shape. Yeah. So, but I don't know that you have to worry about clashing with your clothes. I know. You know, I don't think that we observe those rules anymore. I mean, I bet you, I know in the old days they were like, match your lipstick to your

clothes. I fucking hate that shit. Like, that's not a thing anymore. Some people. Okay. But for all those who are a writer, I say go big, go bold, and like just fucking put it out there. Doesn't matter.

And Vegas is such a good testing ground for that kind of stuff because no one's going to be like doing any double take on you because everyone else is like that. But I mean like if you want to really stand out, I know you don't want to do the goth thing, but I don't think that people look at… You remember back when black nail polish started to be a thing and at the beginning people were like… And now soccer moms are all up in the black nail polish. Like I think we're beyond what goth is or being worried about seen as goth.

I think that unless you're walking around with, like, piercings and tattoos and whatnot, then that is as close to goth as there is. But these days, everybody can do a dark, dark, dark lip. Totally. And you're not going to be labeled goth. And also, feel free to go into those shops, like the Bite Beauty Bar in Toronto, or go into, like, a cosmetic counter and just try some stuff on with your complexion. Don't be weird about it.

They're clean. Well, the great thing about Bite that I love is you can make your own lipsticks. Which is so cool. You can actually go in there and, yeah, like, curate your own. This podcast was not sponsored by Bite, unfortunately. It should be, though, again. But it should be. Again.

Can Bite Beauty please sponsor? I know, seriously. We talk about it all the time. These things are some shit, man. Well, no, we're not going to beg. No, I already gave it. I just wanted more. Because if we have to be sponsored, I would take, like, Oreos and Cheetos before, which

I fucking name check every five minutes. I see Oreos in my eyesight right now. Liz, you've walked into my house and there's a box of Oreos everywhere. Remember when we name checked fucking tampons and you got a whole bunch of tampons and I did it? You did? Yeah. That was nice.

With the super tampon? Yeah. Her fucking XXXXXL. It's the ultra. I will say one thing that you do that post a picture on Instagram tomorrow so that we can use it for this post. You know what you do though? You are very fair.

but when you wear a dark lip, your skin is so healthy and undry and dewy. I think that's a key. You can't, like when you have a mattish, dry, fair skin with a dark lip, that's when it feels there's a disconnect. Yeah, exactly. Your skin is always, when you're doing a dark lip, your skin is always glowing. I'm always all for highlighters still. I hope they don't go out of style. Just as far as not necessarily highlighting your cheekbones, but just to give your skin that young, youthful, fresh dewiness. And I am a skin like… Aficionado. Yes. I just… I'm a… It's kind of disgusting how much skincare I have at my house and how many masks and stuff for different things. But take care of your skin. You only have it – this is all we have. You can't

just regrow some stuff. So take care of it. Make sure it's nice and moisturized, especially for us pale kids. Like you get often quite dry. Yeah. And nothing's grosser than like dry, flaky skin. And then dry, flaky mouth. Ew. Dark lipstick. And then like it's all like crusty and crunchy on the inside. Just stay hydrated. Drink some water when you're in Vegas too. Yes, please. So good luck with your Vegas look. Send us a photo. Yeah. Please. tag us Lizard wait guys

is it done it's done thank you for doing this we might need to have you back I have a bit of boob sweat that's great that's a positive yeah I think it's just

I got so heated in something we can totally gang up on Sash because you talk about boob sweat I am regularly flashing her

on this podcast so you'll just gang up so we'll just like boob gang up on me because Liz loves gross shit too yeah yeah I know she does

I'm not like Dr. Pimple Popper gross Lainey but I like gross shit okay we should do a gross shit one yeah between like Lizzie's fucking

boob sweat and my need to like show you my shit all the time I can't wait guys can't wait for that edition thanks Liz

thanks guys thank you to everyone who wrote yeah keep writing us Sasha at LaineyGossip.com and leave comments on Google Play

and iTunes and we're on Spotify now and thanks so much for listening we'll be back next time bye it'll We'll be right back.