What's Your Drama - Emile Hirsch Blocks Lainey & Other Social Media Unfollow Rules

Episode Date: May 24, 2017

Welcome back and thanks for tuning in on Wednesday – our new Sasha Answers podcast day!On today’s show: Katy and Miley’s new image transformations, how to block someone from your life, and how/who do you share personal health news with.Thanks again for listening and keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail] or tweet us at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip. And head over to iTunes and Google Play to download the podcast!S.xx  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hey, Sasha. Hi, how are you? I'm good. It's a long weekend. I know we're taping this on a long weekend and we're airing this on Wednesday, but don't you feel so happy? I do. I actually got mad at people who – because Pippa Middleton got married this weekend. And people were like, why aren't you covering the raw wedding?

And I was like, it's Pippa Middleton. I'm not fucking like missing out on a long weekend for that. Good. I'm glad that you held out for that because really who cares about Pippa Middleton and her fucking dress? Boring. Snooze fest. Yeah.

Big old snooze fest. But Middleton's style is snooze fest. Yeah, but I thought it would be a little bit more interesting than that. square toe shoes. Yeah. Nope. You're right. You're right. You're right. They might be Ferragamo, but they are square toe. They're square toe and a low heel. Like I can get behind a square toe if it's, you know, eight feet high and a Miu Miu or whatever, right? Like where it's a little bit ugly. Right. But they're not wearing square toe shoes, ironically, these people. No. It was fine, the dress. Fine. Fine. Yeah, exactly. But still lackluster. What I love

about a long weekend is an award show Sunday and not having for myself to work on the Monday or like get up early or like actually give a shit and like take notes. Yeah. So the blessing of the Billboard Awards yesterday on Sunday night were just great because there was so much I feel like that we could unpack about it. And then there was Saturday Night Live. That's what I want to talk about too. Saturday Night Live, I need to talk about Katy Perry, I need to talk about Katy Perry,

I need to talk about Katy Perry. Okay. What do you want to deal with first, Saturday Night Live or the Billboard Music Awards? Let's go Saturday Night Live. Okay. Did you watch The Rock? First of all, I love The Rock. I love him.

Love The Rock. Okay. Right? He is like… Love him. He is like… And I know you hate Justin Timberlake, but he is great like Justin Timberlake in terms of like really putting himself into character.

I would not give that… You know, like I think that Justin Timberlake can be in a different conversation that we don't have to have. Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fair enough. But I think The Rock is such a hard worker. Yes. And in every, the difference here, if you want to talk about Justin Timberlake, I think Justin Timberlake goes and coasts on, I'm Justin Timberlake.

And The Rock shows up and is like, what do you want me to do? I will do everything. I will do anything and I am here to work. Put me to work. Delivers. Like that sketch where he was the superhero but then ended up talking about the fashion. Yes. I love that.

Commitment, right? Fully committed. I actually really liked that whole, I loved all of the skits. I loved all the skits. I was so sad because I didn't know it was What's Her Face's… I should know her name. So many of them. No, but What's Her Face's last show.

Well, Vanessa Bryant. Vanessa… That's who? Is it Vanessa Bryant? No. It's Vanessa… Vanessa Bayer. Sorry.

Yeah. Vanessa Bryant is somebody else. Vanessa Bayer and Bobby Moynihan. Yes. And they're saying that it's Sashir Zameda's last show too. Oh, really? Yeah. But let's…

Can we get back to Katy Perry? Okay. So then Katy Perry was the musical guest. who was hideous. Please tell me you thought she was horrible. Bullshit. And totally faux and just crap. Her new album of the songs that we've heard. Every song. Are shit. Is fucking bullshit. Yeah. Like I'm a little bit, if I were her and her people, I would be a little bit worried because Katy Perry knows a banger. Like. That is her jam. She knows how to rap. Like Dark Horse is a great song, right? Fireworks. Fireworks. Everybody

sings along, the Roar song, whatever. I mean, she knows, like, hit after hit after hit. And now three songs and nobody cares. Change of the Rhythm is whatever. Bon Appetit is, like, filled with stupid puns. Dumb. And the Swish. Swish Bish.

Oh, it is terrible. Just her whole performance was just, ugh. I just find her more and more irrelevant. And that's it. I've never been a fan of Katy Perry's music, but I can totally, like, bow down to the fact that in the past she makes like crack music like it sticks in your head yeah kids fucking love it it's great it's super catchy but I just I'm finding it hard because she was like this is my best work I'm like this newfound feminist I like support Hillary Clinton and all of my work matters

now and then she puts out just like this weak just it's like weak bubblegum music not even bubblegum it's just like well fucking shit and I was really really uncomfortable with like the second song, which was Bon Appetit, and like Migos was sitting there for how fucking long before they did anything. And like, so first of all, like the juxtaposition between, okay, it's Katy Perry, but then Migos is clearly right there. And let's face it, that jam is like one of the hottest songs of the last year, right? Like if you, when did it come out? Late 2016. And Bad Bamboujee is probably like the most, one of the most well-known songs of the last… Yes, my mom probably knows it.

11 months, 10 months, whenever it came out. And then they're just sitting there along with like everybody else and Katy Perry is on the dining table. I don't know. It was like… But just as her as a person, don't you find she's just really annoying too? Like she doesn't seem to stand for anything that she says she's going to stand for. You know, you're talking about being, like, especially during the Women's March, like,

she was rah, rah, rah, like, women's rights. And then you come out with, like, a diss track against Taylor Swift. It just seems like it doesn't meet the values that she's saying that she's putting out there. You know what I mean? I think you can… I think both can exist. I think you can be a feminist and go to the March and be like, I support women's rights

and call out somebody who you don't like. I'm totally okay with that. But then go all the way. like you can't be like you can't give an interview to entertainment weekly and be like i'm not really a diss track against anybody and i don't know i'm just here for purposeful music and but just don't come for me and then the song comes out and we're all like it's about taylor swift and you're like no it's actually a song about bullies right okay name the bully name the bully tell me why you don't like her and or like it doesn't even matter just have a girl shit fight again like to me if

you… here's what I don't think makes sense, is you can actually have girl shit with girls and still be a feminist. Like, a feminist is somebody who believes in equality. So do you hate a bitch? Yes. But in your hating of that person, do you still think that she should be able to vote and make decisions about her body? And make the same amount of money.

Yes, I get that. And make the same amount of money? Yes. So those two things can exist, but back to your point about having a point of view, that's the problem with Katy Perry. If you want to make a diss track and call someone out, just go for it. Yeah, like Remy Ma, right? Like who went for it.

But yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're right. I guess it's just, it just feels so heady. I guess that's what it is. And maybe that, and that maybe speaks to what you're saying, right? It's like, I would rather have someone gun for it than just be like, I've got receipts and I'm swishing, swishing. I don't know what that fucking means. Like, and it just felt really, it just felt really weak. Weak is the word, right? Like, you have receipts? Show me. Let me see.

What are those fucking receipts? Let me see. Or like, do the interview where like, just name it. Yeah, this song was written for Taylor Swift because you know what? She walks around like, you know, the nice little girl with her ringlets, but behind the scenes, she is the most backstabby, undercutty, petty bitch and someone has to step to her and that's going to be me. If you do that, fine. Even though the song sucks, I'm still for it, right? Then I'm like, great.

Yay. The intention was that. Yeah. But don't be like, here's my song and then, oh no, it's just about bullies and it's a stand-up song. Like, okay, I'm happy for you that you decided to write an anthem about people who are picked on and you want to stand up for those people, but at the same time, bull fucking shit, this is about Taylor Swift.

Yeah. no agreed pick one can we talk about another transformation then that i personally like that i'm interested to hear what you think which was miley cyrus at the billboard awards okay specifically just at the billboard awards or do you like this i'm just saying the song's also not good okay okay i beg to differ but i just want to talk about the transformation right because we're looking really yeah you like malibu i don't i'm here with you in malibu like I'm not going to download it, but I definitely think I will listen to it when it comes on the radio.

In fact, I have many times. I'm into it. I'm into it only because I think I like, I like this softer, I like this softer Miley. I feel like she's getting back to her roots of her Dolly Parton country ways. Yeah. And she is in love with probably the finest piece of ass I've ever seen. And I just, I'm liking it. It's all very fucking hippie-esque as well.

Okay. But you don't… Can you separate that from the fact that she, like, put on blackness and then took it off and is like, that's a problem. Okay, great. I just want to make that clear. Yes, that is a problem. That is a problem.

Yeah. And that's… Well, what's interesting about the Katy Perry thing is she's putting on some blackness as well. Oh, I think that Katy Perry has culturally appropriated before with the whole… Remember that, like, geisha performance? Yes. Oh, right.

Yes. So, and Gwen Stefani's done it and Madonna's done it. So, listen, Miley and Katie aren't the only people that have walked this walk, that problematic walk. Yeah. So, I guess what we're talking about is authenticity. Like, what I will say about… and even Madonna, right? Like, what I will say about Madonna and it's, you know, what we've talked about, what I've

written on my site before is Madonna didn't go through the next phase of transformation and then look back and be like, that was bullshit. Like I hate, like I'm not into like cocksucky music anymore and sort of like trash what she was. And that's what a lot of people

aren't appreciating about Miley is that like in that Billboard interview, she was like, I don't like rap music that's all about like sit on my dick and this and that. But she was like two months ago. I'm sorry.

Like, did you go to her show? No, I didn't. Okay, but in her show, I'll tell you right now, I'm sure you've seen the pictures, there was a gigantic dick on stage. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I – okay.

What are you trying to tell me? My whole – well, anyways, it's interesting that you bring the Donna thing up. But I will say what's interesting about Miley is – well, and I don't know if she's addressed it because I haven't read enough interviews of recent day of what she said. But like she's only 20 fucking four, right? But if I was – and, like, her whole phase of sticking her tongue out, twerking, all that kind of shit was, like, what? Like, probably 20 to 23. Yeah.

So, like, and she's been, you know, she's fucked up because she's been famous for so long. She was, like, this weird Disney cookie cutter person. So I feel like she definitely got lost and that's why I'm interested to see what comes after this. because right now I feel like she might have realized that whatever the fuck she was doing was misguided and really not her thing and I feel like this is what's so interesting is coming back into her like country roots which is where she's really from but yes I don't I want to state that I absolutely do not co-sign the shit she was doing before and appropriating black culture like that shit was whack well I but the Madonna thing is what I want to say is this unfortunate

part is Madonna hasn't ever evolved from the dick-sucking shit. That's why she's such a joke now. So at least fucking Miley is evolving and doing different things, realizing that she can't fucking twerk her way into her 70s like fucking Madonna. No, I mean, but Cher can. But Cher's not twerking. But Cher's like a different… Cher's dealing… Like Cher's still walking around with nipple pasties. Pink ones. But Cher's singing still… Do you… Whatever. What did she sing believe in love after love what is it do you believe in love that's what it is that's a great talent that i didn't know you had um but she's still singing that kind of music which is like ballads very celine still very like it's still very pure she just has like she just happens to

show her fucking nipple right still which is great i listen i think that if it's about experimenting, it would be one thing. My problem and many people's problems with Miley is that she uses a certain language to talk about what her past was, which is like… Phase. A phase. Or even like she's talked about how, oh, she's… Even like, even the whole sales pitch about going back to her roots and going to something that's more clean is a statement about what's not clean about what she was before. Do you know what I mean?

And that's gross. I agree with you. Her strength is her voice and she has roots in country music and so it doesn't… it's not like out of… it's not out of her lane to go into this kind of music now. but then to explain it by being like oh i'm so over all that because and adjectives that are negative to describe what that phase was it's for me it's just that kind of i know what you say i know what you're saying but i feel like that phase was just gross because she was gross about it like not about the specific culture she was uh latching on to right because there's nothing gross about

that in fact it's fucking amazing of course the way she was do i just felt like everything she was doing was so fucking gross. Yeah. I agree with you, but I don't think that's how she's saying it, right? She's not like, I made a mistake. I was gross. She's like, that's gross. And I needed to get away from it.

Do you understand what I mean? Yeah, I do. And I don't smoke weed anymore. That, the smoking weed, made me not feel clear-headed. But I've made the decision to be better. Isn't that great? But it is kind of better to not smoke weed and, like, be, like, a total junkie, which She seemed to be, like, if you see these, like, before and after.

Like, she looked, her whole Instagram page before was real fucked. Like, she was, like, on the bed. There was, like, just shit everywhere. Like, it was just so messed up. But what's interesting, though, is, and this is what's so hard, because someone like Pharrell co-signed her during that phase. I remember we did an interview with him. And Kanye.

Oh, yeah. And they were very much like, this girl, like, I remember Pharrell saying to me off camera being like, she is, like, you don't even understand how great she is. like she is a true artist. She's so talented. Yeah. So I guess for me, that's what I guess I'm saying. Like when I look at Katy Perry or when I look at Miley, it's like Miley's at least evolving. She's doing different things, trying to find her way because she's so young. Katy Perry's just flailing and like still trying to be that fucking cupcake tit bitch who doesn't do anything but that shit. Like she hasn't evolved. She says she's evolved, but she hasn't. Miley says she's

evolved and she's at least evolving. I see. I see them as the same. You do. Okay. Oh my God. I see Miley as putting on an evolution where she's like, I need to reach a different kind of person now. You know, like in her Billboard interview, she was like, we need to come together and I need to sort of not be that weed smoking person so that I can reach a different kind of person. What she's trying to say is a white person. Right.

In Laguna Beach. Okay. Not just in Laguna Beach, but in like the red country. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Trump country. And it's like, okay, so to reach those people, you have to disassociate with blackness. And wear all white. She's wearing a lot of white.

White. Like, let's, I mean, white's fine, but I mean, it's oatmeal, shades of oatmeal. Let me just oatmeal myself and be so, and give the visual of being pure. Like, getting up on that fucking stage at Billboard and wearing the pseudo cowboy hat and the cowboy boots and the white cutoff jean shorts, wholesome, you know, like the off the shoulder country top. I'm like, oh, okay, Miley's a Duggar now. Yeah, okay.

Except Duggars – Duanna had to explain to me, like, recently that Duggars don't wear pants. Like, girl Duggars don't wear pants. Oh, they wear floor-length dresses. You can't wear a pant. Like, you have to wear a dress or a skirt all the time. Anyway, I'm just saying that Miley has become, like, you know, to me it smells Duggary. Okay.

But thanks, Miley. Okay, well, I just think that she's going back to who she actually was. I feel like whatever the fuck we saw wasn't her because she's just like was a lost, as you and Duanna have said, shapeshifter during that time of like, I don't know who the fuck, I don't know what her fucking personal ish is, but I'm just into it. I'm into it. I'm into it. I'm going to eat that fucking oatmeal all day fucking long. Are you, on a relationship note, since we talk about relationships here, are you into it that, as you mentioned Liam, and listen, I find him fucking sexy too, and he's super

your type. Like he's, like if there was a prototype of your type, that's you. Sorry, Kory, because Kory ain't that type, but that shit is my type. I know. Like you're super into the surf guy, and he surfs, and whatever. And I get it. But are you as comfortable with the fact that all of this started happening after they got back together and the language around that has been like, she's changed to be back with

him. Like a girl who changes to get the guy back. Dude, my MO with every guy is to change them. So I'm like into that because I feel like that and I feel like it almost is refreshing to me. No, she's not changing him. He got to stay the exact same. No, that's what I'm saying.

It's refreshing. I like to change the people I'm with. When I get into a relationship, I'm like, I'm going to change everything about you. Right? That's so hilarious. Yeah. But that's how I feel. Yeah.

So for me, it's almost refreshing that a guy would be like, I want to take you as a project because I see the goodness. I want to take you to the goodness. So I don't find it like, fuck you, don't tell me what to do. I'm also, I'm more like, oh, fuck, I love you even more. You want to be Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. I just want to be Miley Cyrus. Yeah.

Obviously now. Let me take you from being a prostitute to a high class. Yes. A high class hoe. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah. Um, all right. So here are our questions for this week. While every other channel is fighting for your customer's attention, podcasts are where they've already given it. No one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes. They choose to be here. They trust the voice in their ears. And when that voice talks

about your brand, it doesn't sound like advertising. It sounds like a recommendation from a front. Acast gives you that trust at scale, digital precision, host-read authenticity, and performance data that proves it worked. Don't fight for attention. Buy it with Acast. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. Hey, Sasha, I'm really curious to know what your thoughts are on social media regarding unfollowing or unfriending people. When does it look petty as fuck to unfriend or unfollow an ex-BF, an ex-backstabbing friend, or just people that really piss you off?

I just got to thinking about this as there are a few friends in my life that were, quote, frenemies backstabbers, and quite frankly, I don't want them to follow me on Instagram and see my personal photos, and I don't want to have to scroll and see their life either. I would like to just say goodbye and be done with it. The problem is that if you are connected to people that you want nothing to do with on these social media platforms, they are somehow connected to you and your life and me to theirs. I also get the feeling that they want to keep tabs on me and want to know what's going on in my life just out of pure nosiness as they ask about me and what I'm doing via

mutual friends. Would it look petty and immature if I just stopped following them or blocked them from following me? What are your thoughts? Well, Sash, since you love social media so much… I've been really trying to not be a hater, mostly just because, like, I really am struggling with being on Instagram. I don't specifically have this problem right now because I am very new to Instagram and

I have, like, two people following me. But I understand what our reader is saying, like, why the fuck do you want anyone looking into your private life if you wouldn't want to socialize with them anyway? Anyway, I don't – for me, I'm like – I guess I just don't take social media that seriously. So for me, I would be like, yeah, fuck it. Don't let them see it. Like, just, like, block them or unfollow them. Like, no big deal.

For me, that's no big deal. Right. If you want to make it a big deal and make it into, like, this big brouhaha and make it into drama, you can or they can if they feel offended. But really, at the end of the day, like, if you're not really friends with them, then they don't get to be part of your life. I think that the problem here is that they are already following each other, right? So then when you unfollow… Do people see when you…

Again, I don't know. Do people… I'm pretty sure they do because, like, you know how, like… When, like, Selena Gomez unfollows Justin Bieber, we don't know. Right. And, like, or Bella Hadid unfollows The Weeknd and this and that and the other, everybody seems to know. Like, there are specialists online or fans online that can see.

So I'm pretty sure that even the regular person can check. Like, the millennials that I know, they know this shit. And they, like, petty themselves into frenzies about this shit. So it… For what you're saying about not wanting to cause drama, it then becomes a drama. But that's… But that are the… But those are the types of people that make that drama.

For me, that's not who I want to hang out with. I'm, like, I'm figuring this is what our writer is also like. She doesn't want to be part of this drama of people, like, gossiping about her life, gossiping about where she is, who she's with. So, like, cut that shit out. Like, if you have the opportunity to cut it out, cut it out. You don't follow anybody. No.

What is that? What's behind that? Because it's just great that you don't have to see anybody's life. It's distracting. Like, I will tell you right now that if I were following everybody, everybody, then I wouldn't get any work done. Because then I have, like, I go down, as she says, like, is social media for people who are nosy? Fuck yes. So even when I'm with friends and I don't follow anyone, but somebody we know pops up in the feed, I'm like, pass me the phone. Let me

see. I need to see everything. And then I end up owning the phone for the next 15 minutes because while I don't follow that person, I'm like, oh, when did they post this? Oh, this happened. Oh, this happened. So like I said, it's really for self-preservation because I know me. I am petty and I am nosy and I would not – like I would just sit there all fucking day. And look at people's lives. Yeah. So that's why I've just decided, hey, I just won't follow anybody and then I get so focused at work then I just forget.

Which is so great. I wish I could do that. But there's people – for me, there are people that I should, should quote unquote follow because I know them, I work with them, I'm in some sort of circle with them, but I actually can't do it. I can't stomach it. I cannot do it because I don't want them to know anything about my goddamn life. And I sure as shit don't want to see their workout videos or their fucking avocado on

toast. But I think that that is you and you kind of have always maintained that kind of standoffish presence on social media. For this person in particular, I don't think that she's you. Okay. But what's our… So our advice we agree here is… Look, I think that we're going to have different…

Like, I think that we have different views on this. like your advice is just be like, whatever, unfollow. My view, if I could give this person some perspective, is… Here, I'll tell you a story. So Maria on our site handles smutty social media. Which I love. So she obviously, if I'm… I hope that you're looking at that post every day, she compiles celebrity social media and makes comments on it. And a few weeks ago, maybe like three weeks ago, she sent a link to Emile Hirsch's Twitter account because he had tweeted about something. And I edit her smutty social media posts, so I have to click on every link just to make sure they're working. So I clicked on the Emile Hirsch Twitter post from, like,

my laptop, and I'm always signed into my Twitter account from my laptop. This is so good. You started following Emile Hirsch. So then I pull up Emile Hirsch's Twitter account and it won't let me see any posts. Because you're blocked? Because Emile Hirsch blocked you? I didn't know. And so I emailed Maria and I was like, oh, my God, thank you so much. You've just made my day.

Like, I didn't know that Emile Hirsch had blocked me on Twitter. And it gave me such happiness. Like, I think I was having the worst day, Sash. Oh, that is a Christmas for you. Right. I was having the worst day. And then I found out that Emile Hirsch, who I've written some shitty posts about before, but like I've stopped caring to about like the last post.

Why are you waiting till now? This shit should have been brought up like 30 minutes ago. This is so good. But again, I forgot because that's how little Emile Hirsch means to me. But I think I wrote about him like many, many cans ago, right? He was in Cannes and he was being such a fucking loser. And I wrote this post. Oh, but you were at the table next to him, right?

Yeah, we were at, like, this hotel terrace. Yes, I remember you telling me this story. And he was, like, literally delivering a Shakespearean soliloquy about what good film is. Right. As if he, like, was the founder of the Criterion Collection. And so I wrote about it and I was like, this fucking guy. And then haven't written much about Emile Hirsch since. Right.

And then Maria does this thing and then I find out that I'm blocked. Like now I wish I could make that my Twitter profile, like Lainey Gossip blocked by Emile Hirsch. Anyway, so it gave me such happiness. Yes, I imagine. But also it gives me the power. Like, oh, hi, Emile Hirsch. I'm just this like bullshit asshole talk show host in Canada that shouldn't matter.

And yet you've blocked me. Thank you. But that's a whole other level of petty pussy bitch shit. Oh, that's me. Because you don't know, but even tops your ass because you weren't even following him. No. He had to go out of his way to like fucking type your name in and then be like, no. Yes.

Like all those letters and characters and keystrokes he needed to do. Right. And to personally block me. But anyway, to go back to our reader, I'm just saying in that situation, I had the fucking power. I see it as I have the power. I do not see any downside to me being blocked by a meal. Do you?

Do you see any downside to me being blocked by a meal? No, that is amazing and you're right. You do have the power in that situation. But I would disagree with if you're going to put that on to what our reader, sorry, our writer is explaining, because she's trying to take back the power of her goddamn life, right? And of who she wants to invite in and who she wants to participate in her life. Yeah.

So for me, I feel like that, for me, it would be a power move to be like, no, thank you. And it comes with not being petty. It comes with just being like, I have no time for you. And like, you don't even think about it. You press block or whatever you press and that's it. Like, you don't think about it. Right. That to me is powerful.

If you're fucking… if you press block and you're like, I'm going to wait until I want to hear what they have to say or you're waiting for some retaliation, then you're a weak pussy. But I think if you're doing it and you're like, that's it, that makes me feel good, I'm over you, then that to me is power. That to me is how you can rein in different kinds of power. That's really… like to me that's interesting because you are also somebody who says social media doesn't matter and it shouldn't be, like, a factor in someone's life.

And so by making that declaration and asserting power on social media, then is social media something significant? Because on the one hand, you can be like, I don't care what you fucking do on social media. It's not real life. But the moment that you go and block them, in my view, like, this is where the difference in perspective is. the moment you go and block them, you're actually making a declaration like I have decided that

something about you bothers me so much that I need to excise you from my life slash social media life. But I'm saying this isn't for me. This is for this person who probably does find those things like very personal and like… I agree. And I think that is what the crux of the conversation is. Like, yes, fine, go unblock these people. But then the bigger picture here is how important and what kind of importance are you attaching to your life via social media? Well, that's a whole other fucking conversation. Yeah. Like, if you really want to get deep, what's this person's name? No idea.

You didn't say your name, so I'm just going to call you Bella. Great. Yeah, Bella. Bella, if this is the situation, then I think the bigger conversation that you want to have to check yourself is are you actually living too much life on social media? Like, who are you? Are you Lainey or are you Emile Hirsch? Yeah, that's so true. That should just be the… Anyway. Can we just always end on that? Are you Emile Hirsch or are you Lainey? Okay, next. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I've recently been for tests as I've been dealing with some health problems since the beginning of the year, and sadly, oh no, they have come back positive for cervical cancer.

I'm only 33, so it really sucks getting this news and having to deal with all the tests and soon-to-be treatments. I'm a very private person. I like to keep things to myself or the ones closest to me, as I'm uncomfortable with the sympathy people give, especially when it makes them think of their own mortality. Maybe that makes me a black-hearted person, but if whatever I'm going through doesn't affect people, I generally don't feel the need to share. So now it's cancer, and with treatment, it starts to become obvious that you're going

through something serious. I've told my family, my husband has told his, and there are a few friends that have been let into the loop as I see them more often and can trust that they will treat me like a normal human while I go through this. My question is, do I have to tell the peripheral people in my life, the ones I see sometimes, but because our lives don't intersect, I can go months without seeing them? Am I being a bad friend by not telling them directly? or can they find out organically either through another person or if I show up to an event?

I know word will get around. I can't control that. But I don't want to have to call everyone in my contact list and go through all the questions. My body is becoming property of the hospital and the doctor saving my life. Am I allowed to keep my life to myself? Thanks for your help. L.

Well, L, sorry. I know you hate sympathy, like you're like, you're uncomfortable with the sympathy people give. So I don't know what the move here is except to say that fucking sucks. But we're rooting for you and we have… And good luck. Fuck cancer. Yeah. Fuck cancer. Okay. So moving on to your question because I think you just want us to get on with your question. You don't seem like… Put that shit off like a band-aid. Exactly. You do not want the sympathy or from people you don't know. But then can I say something on the flip side of that is I understand where she's coming from in terms of – and I think you're like that too. Like we don't really want – like

we'll take care of it. We can do it. We can deal with it. Let's like put the plan together, get it done. But you really – oh my gosh, when you can get support from people, it really helps you. And so I would say that yes, if you have a good group of friends and that's all you need to help you through this and to support you and to talk to you about stuff and just sit there getting your chemo with a friend and just like chilling, reading magazines, that's awesome. But also invite some other people in. If there are people that are willing to help you like get some chores done or whatever, just like it's a time to also just like look at humanity and realize that there are people who are lovely and willing to support you and you can't get enough of that. So I would

say that while she wants to keep some boundaries, also just don't be afraid to let people in too. That's not a bad thing. Yeah. I mean, I understand what Elle is going through. To have to like, you know, what she's saying here is go through her call list and her contact list and have the conversation over and over again. Like, you're already living it. Why would you need to like speak it over and over again?

And then have to console people. Yeah. Fuck. That sucks. Like, I mean… And also, I have had friends who are going through various issues and stages of health crises and whatnot. And sometimes those people just want to be like, hey, for an hour or two, can I just forget that I have cancer or diabetes or whatever? And can you just like, what the fuck

is going on with Johnny Depp? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? And then we gossip or tell me about whatever. And so, you know, she might need that too. Yes. Like, it's a lot, right? But that's what I'm saying. Even those things too, whatever it may be. Yeah. Like, let some of that good stuff come into. Yeah. It's also – I can understand, too, the need to feel – and this is, for lack of a better word, I wish I could come up with another one, but – I wish I could come up with another one, but the need to sort of feel normal, right? Like, you don't want – Be the sick one. I've heard, yeah. I've heard from people who've said, like, I don't want to be the one who, like,

everybody hushes when I come in the room and people feel like they always have to ask me how I am. Like I just kind of want to – if you want to treat me like shit, like kind of feels good too because then you're not tippy-toeing around me. Yeah. So I get that. I mean, listen, I think, Elle, you're doing the right thing. You've told the people who need to know and then everybody else can just be like on a need-to-know basis and you can maintain as much normalcy as possible. And absolutely. I totally agree with you. And there are no rules about it. Like do what feels good. You're still in like the really beginning stages of all this. So just like take care of yourself, take care of what you need to and deal with all the rest of that shit afterwards.

And it's true. Things do, like people will talk, it will come out naturally. But a good thing too is to have, you know, your best friend kind of be that publicist for you. So she can, if there are certain people that you just don't want to have that conversation with, pass the buck onto her so she can kind of fill people in and she can be the gateway of that information. Another thing too is my friend, I think actually pretty much at 33 too, was diagnosed with breast cancer and she started a website. And I don't know who, she sometimes updated it with updates about her doctor appointments, how she was feeling after chemo.

And that was a great place for all of us to go because I was living in Toronto, she's in Vancouver. And I would go and check it all the time and she would update it and we would figure out her progress that way and we could leave comments. Um, and it's also something that you're, again, one of your friends can do and update for you so that people can just go there as opposed to come to you. Yep. So, um, there are websites.

Um, can I actually, just give me a second. There's one that I know that, um, people do use. Yep. Um, CaringBridge. CaringBridge is one of them. Go to that site too because you can just start a website for free and, um, update it that way or have your friend or your husband update it. A couple of stories I want to share here is I get it because from Elle's perspective

because my mother has a chronic incurable disease. And her way of handling it is that's all she talks about. Like, since this has happened to her, every single conversation about her has been… About her. This is the drugs. This is what I'm feeling. And her life has been entirely consumed by it and she has no other interests. And it gets to be for her caregivers and her immediate care family, which is dad, me, and

Jacek, like, super overwhelming. It's like, what… can we talk about something else? Yeah. Yeah. So I think from Elle's perspective, I get it. Like, you know, she's the opposite of my mother. She's like, I'm going to handle what I'm going to handle and then, you know, I'm not going to be that person. And so I fully, fully support that. That said, and you, Elle, managing it the way that you're going to manage it, also at the same time it's not a secret, right? So also don't close off the potential for resources and help from other people like other people who may have

had a similar situation and can refer you to a specialist or can refer you to someone who's been through that, that is also something that you just keep an eye out for. Yeah. You know, on the day-to-day, of course, do what you need to do. Yeah. Don't tell this person, don't tell anybody. But at the same time… I think you'll navigate that and you go through different phases.

Right now you want to be like balls out, figure out the plan and not have to deal with anybody else, but maybe when things get a little bit deeper, you'll want to invite some people in and actually really talk about how you feel because that's fucking part of the healing process too is really being honest with yourself and being honest with other people. But we're not there yet and I'm sure you'll be fine and you'll totally go with the flow when it comes to that. But for now, like what you've done is excellent and you don't really need to do anything else. Now, Elle, for everybody else listening, Elle is dealing with cervical cancer. And so I just wanted to shout out Teal Power.

And so Teal Power, go to tealpower.ca. It's a nonprofit organization dedicated to cervical cancer awareness and supporting those who have cervical cancer and, of course, their family members. Of course, Sasha and I are familiar with Teal Power because of a person, her name was Allison Salinas, and Allison Salinas is someone we both worked with. And Allison is, she fought real hard and she really, really pushed for cervical cancer awareness and just wanted to let everybody know this is being posted on Wednesday, May 24th. And the next day on Thursday, May 25th, is an event in support of Teal Power in Toronto. It's being hosted by Tyrone Edwards. I will be there.

Oh, amazing. And many of my colleagues from CTV and the funds raised from the event are going to support Princess Margaret Cancer Center. And also it's happening in memory of Alison. So for those of you who want to attend, that's tealpower.ca. Check it out and hopefully we'll see you there. That's great. Okay. Well, on that note, thank you for writing in. Thank you for sharing your stories and keep them coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And check us out on Google Play and iTunes, please leave us a message. We are so happy because we rose in the rankings of the iTunes Life and Culture podcast. We sure did. Society and Culture.

Oh, Society and Culture. So we are currently ranked 61 out of… 150. So, like, maybe can we get to, like, 55 for fuck's sakes? Yeah. Can we get to something higher? Bring us to 55. We don't… Again, really low expectations, but expectations we can meet. Yeah, bring us to 55 and as we inch higher and higher, like, that would be something that we can… If we get to 55, you're going to give us a real good blind.

Well, I mean, if we get to 55, we can just be like, oh, hey, Emile Hirsch. Yes. We will tweet Emile Hirsch until he blocks me. Okay. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Quick question.

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