What's Your Drama - Friends Who Don't Isolate

Episode Date: March 26, 2020

These last few weeks have been quite the mind f-ck and before we get into your drama Lainey and I check in on our mental health during this fairly stressful time. Every cough, sore throat has kept us very paranoid. You too? Then we dive on into our first letter! Our writer is having trouble figuring out how to confront her colleague for constantly making offside comments. Should she handle it on her own or go straight to HR?  Next, in these times of physical/social distancing, do your friends show their true colors when they don't obey the rules? Is it fair to de-friend them over their negligence? Pretty sure you can guess what our answer is to that....Finally, our last writer doesn't know how to keep the peace with her ex-friend amongst their mutual friend group. Can everyone just get along or does someone have to bow out?We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

But in any other day or age, this would be the most mundane, boring ass motherfucking story I've ever heard in my life. But I'm like, oh, my God, I would just be like this. Why are we talking about this on the podcast? But that thermometer, I'm into the thermometer story. Do you do you constantly think that? yes well okay i i we obviously have brain connection right now because i was going to finish my question which is do you constantly feel aches and pains like yes wrong all the time every little scratch if my knee hurts if my head like if my head even tingles a tiny bit i'm like

fuck I'm fucked I'm fucked and all that doesn't help because I just keep on scrolling on Twitter to listen and read about other people suffering from this and it makes me so sad but I can't help but spiral in my own mind I went for a run the other day and I like had shortness of breath yes because I was yes and then I was like oh I can't remember did I feel like this before or I know when I ran or only now. The other thing I was going to say about paranoia is Corey and I were kind of having like an anxiety spiral yesterday or two days ago. And I was like, listen, I'm going to brew us up some tea. Cause you know, Lainey, I like, um, I've like stuffed up on my Chinese herbs. So I made him this tea that was supposed to make us feel very calm.

And then all of a sudden within like finishing our cup, we started coughing throat started to close up and we just kept on coughing for a solid 15 minutes but we didn't figure it out by then like we were we didn't really make the link that it was the fucking tea that was closing up our throat and we were both like oh my god we both have it and then that leads to starting to make your body feel hot then you think you have a fever anyway this is not a good mindset and I'm feeling like a lot of other people feel this way too um so but we're okay right now yeah we're okay right now? I think so. I constantly think that I have a fever. And two weeks ago, like right before this hit, I went to the grocery store and I was looking for a thermometer because they say everybody

should have a thermometer at home, right? Well, of course, there were no thermometers except this one kind. So it's one of those, you know, when you go to a store and like there are some items that you can just grab yourself and then there are other items that are like attached to each other by this plastic, what are those called? Like cuffs, right? Oh, like the expensive stuff, like the stuff they don't want you to steal. I guess. So I had to get a clerk. I had to wait for a clerk, which there were no clerks because the store was so busy. So I had to like stay there and like wave one down. And I was like, can you get that for me? And she was like, oh yeah, no problem. And so I saw a sign on the shelf. It said $14.95. I was like, okay, well that's

pretty expensive for a fucking thermometer. Whatever. Like I need a thermometer. Everybody says you need a thermometer. So she like cuts it off. And because I was actually only there to buy the thermometer and maybe like a cabbage, I went to the self-checkout, which, you know. they sell cabbage at a shopper's you buy your produce from shoppers no i went to the grocery store oh okay okay so i go to the self-checkout and i like ring my cabbage in and then i you know scan the thermometer and i by mistake scanned it by mistaking how those scanners are sometimes really sensitive yeah yeah yeah so i scanned it twice and then i looked at the screen and it said $205.

What kind of thermometer did I just buy? So then I deleted one of the thermometers and I, the thermometer was $95. Stop. Stop. So I was like, oh, fuck. But there were no other thermometers.

So you bought the $100 thermometer? I am in possession of a $100 thermometer. Okay, so anyway. Let me finish the story. So then I bring it home and I'm like, fuck. I got to show this to Jacek. He's always on my ass about having expensive taste and only getting like the fucking Ferrari of things. Everything. Yeah. So I was a little bit,

I was like, oh, I'm going to fucking hear it from him. So I was like, listen, this is what happened. Everybody says you should have a thermometer. We actually don't have one in the house. The thing that you should, everyone should have in the house. Right. And I was like, but they're all sold out and then this is what happened then by the time i scanned it it was 95 dollars and he's like let me see it so he takes it out of the package um instead of being annoyed he was like oh cool because here's what it is it's the kind that's a fucking laser and you hold it away from your forehead and oh it doesn't have to touch you yes i know and it can get your temperature those are like majorly coveted they have them in china they don't fucking ever seem to have

them in canada you have one of those i have one of those they're 95 dollars if you were a good ass fucking citizen you would be driving to the airport and fucking getting everybody who is coming in from out of the province or out of the country and doing that so those are what we actually need so you hold it up to your fucking head yeah and it takes like whatever a second or two and then read it and then it reads anyway so of course because it was a toy to yassic he was like oh cool look what you could do we oh my god the first day we brought it home we took our temperature like five times um but anyway so my point is that since i constantly think i have a fever i am always getting that thing and like lasering my forehead um it's it's really cool

it's I'll show it to you well I'll take a picture of it and show it to you because we're on FaceTime right now what's so crazy is I'm so riveted by this story but in any other day or age this would be the most mundane boring ass motherfucking story I've ever heard in my life like but I'm like oh my I would just be like this why are we talking about this on the podcast but that thermometer I'm into the thermometer story fuck's sake anyway everybody I would like you to know that I am in possession of the fucking thermometer of all thermometers. Yes, you absolutely are. I'm actually jealous. Go on, help us. Okay. Shall we get to your drama? Yeah, bring it. Well, not yours, but people's. Okay. Ready? Yep. Hello, Sasha and Lainey. I started a new job in September

at a big company where I currently work in management. I love my job, but there's just one thing more like a person who's really making things uncomfortable for me there isn't many sexually diverse people in the company so ever since a co-worker found out i'm gay as is she she has become fixated on me and repeatedly makes inappropriate comments let's call her ellen okay let's call her ellen and i can be cara ellen is consistently making sexual comments to me in front of others. For example, don't you hate it when you can't find the hole, Kara? Or once when I got my nails done too long, she said, you're obviously not getting any. She even went as far to tell another coworker that I am a baby les, whatever that means. Ellen also makes general comments

that I consider inappropriate and will look at me after she says it, as if I'm the only one who knows what she means. Like a time she said she would be the one pitching nurses' asses in the nursery home, pinching nurses asses in the nursery home. Typically I shut these comments down by either not responding and even saying that's enough. Um, but playfully for me, it's difficult because I have never been the kind of person who openly talks sexually paired with the fact that not many people in the office know I'm a lesbian. Ellen is much older than me. And I think she believes she and I have a special bond. Ellen being 50 plus and myself being 28. I also know she'd been closeted for most of her life. If this was a man talking to me, I'd go straight to HR

though, because I do feel some solidarity with her. I wouldn't feel good. Um, I wouldn't feel good doing that. Having come from a different generation, Ellen didn't always have the ability to openly talk about her sexuality. And I also don't want to hold her to a higher standard just because she's queer. So what do you think both, uh, what do you both think I should do, Kara? This is a great question. And I think Kara is actually being very, very, very fair and flexible with Ellen. Yep. Um, I mean, I think that Kara brings up a really great point that if anybody else was doing this to the point where it was making her feel uncomfortable, she would go to HR. And, um, of course I get the solidarity. I also get that she doesn't

want to make this a big deal, but I actually think that that falls by the wayside. If in fact, Kara doesn't like these comments like if she can actually um like really separate those two things and and can face the fact that this is actually very inappropriate behavior I don't care what your um gender is that should still apply if you're not feeling comfortable that you should go to HRI before taking that step would probably go up to Ellen and be like yo Ellen this isn't making me feel comfortable? They're slightly inappropriate. Do you think we could tone that shit down and have that real one-to-one with Ellen? If she doesn't listen, then I think HR is the right way to go. Yeah, I definitely agree with you in terms of how I personally,

like Lainey, would handle this. There doesn't seem to be, like Kara doesn't mention here that there's a power difference in their workplace that like Ellen in this case is not Ellen DeGeneres although you know lately we've been lately that if anyone has not been on uh Twitter and had this whole Ellen thread about how she's a raging cunt please find it anyway sidebar anyway I don't think that there were stories about her being a sexual harasser though no just that she's a fucking douchebag, allegedly, you know, in the way that she treats staff, in the way that she treats regular human beings that she encounters in restaurants. And stories like this have been circulating about Ellen for a long time.

I mean, Ellen DeGeneres. But anyway, in this case, this is not like a producer at The Ellen Show who is dealing with the real Ellen and there's this power indifference. I don't see any mention of that here. um by all means by the book and any hr people listening will say like shut up laney and sasha the first thing you should do is go and talk to hr me elaine laney and you sasha our coach would just first be to be like hey remember what you said back there in the lunchroom that was fucking offside like can you not do that anymore and then like first strike don't give it three strikes give

it like that is the the one chance and then if it happens again from ellen then you go to hr that is my approach as that would be my approach too like you lay down the hammer and if he doesn't get that hint then yes you have to go to hr the other thing too is you know if we had not heard that she like typically our advice laney is when someone is doing something that you don't like we kind of playfully hit back so I like that Kara mentioned that she tried that attempt and it still fucking didn't go so that's why I would escalate as we've just said to take it to the next step to actually talk to her seriously about it yeah um and then see if she can curb her behavior from there that's what I would do and by the way like I would before you do that I would um this is what

Lainey would do. I would, um, everything that you just wrote to us, Kara, I would write down and enter a log, like start a journal, then also journal when you confront Ellen, date and time. Um, and then if it happens again, then you have your own documentation that you can bring to HR. and I feel like you know what listen I I don't know this for sure but it sounds like Ellen is like uh uh like just trying to find an ally at work and is just trying to probably be young and cool or something trying to make some sort of connection I'll be doing it totally wrong but I I have a feeling that Ellen isn't a horrible person that I think that if you do actually have this conversation with her she will probably change her behavior you know and it doesn't have

to get, it doesn't have to go to that next level. But, you know, to your point that you said before, Sash, if this were a man in a workplace, then, you know, so many of those instances have happened, right? Yeah. But the difference is there's, she's trying to have this commonality, right? Yeah. There is no commonality between a man and a woman. Sure. In that way. Right. So it's like the same thing if I walked by you and said some sort of Chinese thing and we didn't really know each other I was just like hey oh and like how's your chopsticks or something like that something fucking useless like that and bs everybody only Sasha can say that or people like Sasha can say that of course she is Chinese hence why Ellen feels like she can say that to Kara right because

she feels like they are a united front all I'm saying is Ellen doesn't sound like an evil ass motherfucker I'm just giving Ellen a little bit of yeah a little space here that she's probably going to be able to learn from this. It's not like you're giving Ellen space. Kara's giving Ellen the space. She is. She is. That's why she gave us all that context that Ellen is this person and in her life, she hasn't had anybody to relate to in the workplace. That said, her comments are making you uncomfortable. They are offside. And as, I mean, it's not like you don't know this, but you've probably considered confronting her before. And so she probably should, Kara should confront her. Well, no, I don't want to say that. I, Lainey, if I were Kara, would confront her and

you, Sasha, also would do that. Right. We're just allegedly, allegedly, allegedly marking this up. Not sure where the HR handbook is on for that, but that is what I would do as an individual in this world. Yes. Check. And I would log all of it before I went to HR. Okay. Right? I feel like we're in agreement. Yeah. But also let us know if you actually work for Ellen DeGeneres. Yes. Oh my gosh.

I only, like, this is what I'm so curious about. Every week that we've been in quarantine, I feel like there's a week of cancellations of every celebrity. It was, who was it? It was Timothee Chalamet. Then it was. That was so, that was a non-cancellation. But give me, give me, give me that.

It was Timothee Chalamet. Then it was Vanessa Hudgens. then it was Ellen DeGeneres then it's Kanye oh Evangeline yeah like just people are getting canceled okay um wasn't Kanye already canceled anyway whatever I every everything in life is BC before corona and coronavirus and whatever AD whatever that stands for I don't know either dear god okay let's move on okay next last Saturday I was to go to lunch with two friends two retired friends. I canceled as I was already getting uncomfortable about going out in public if not necessary. I texted them and said I wasn't comfortable. I was already dealing with the public

at work on the daily and was starting to get worried. One of the friends texted back, I knew you would, and then, I will not be consumed by panic. I think you are overreacting. I thought that was rude. I said I didn't appreciate her sneering at me. I'm just following public health advice. She said she wasn't sneering, just giving her opinion. So she hasn't spoken to me since. They still went to lunch. I'm really annoyed with both of them, honestly, but the friend who made the comments more so. We've had issues in the past and I've wondered about whether this friendship is worth it to me. She has completely opposite political views to me, likes Trump, which says it all. I'm certainly opinionated about things and at times do come on too strong. I know it's

a character flaw of mine. It's hard to constantly censor myself around her. We've been friends a really long time, but this event and others in the past, I'm questioning whether I need to reach out. The only way this latest freeze will end is if I make the effort to end it. I've apologized in the past, but I've never received one in return. I don't know that I have enough in common anymore. I'm very conflicted. I'm also really mad that neither of them have altered their behavior during COVID-19. Still going out to bars and restaurants, having family gatherings like absolutely nothing is going on it makes me crazy how do you navigate friendships that were already tenuous during times like this I don't have a lot of close friends so this is hard for me thanks

Sarah I mean isn't this where we are right now yeah um uh I think I think this is the time where people show their true colors a little bit in times of crisis you kind of see what your friends are made of thank god and like who they are what they stand for and like i thank fucking god that our group of friends luckily are more likely than not on the same page and i think about it if i was living in the states if i had a close friend like then if you started being like a trump supporter i don't know how i it wouldn't it would that goes beyond politics for me so um i would have trouble like our writer um about how to continue a friendship when the fundamentals uh are are not there like the way that you fundamentally think about things I think it's good to be challenged

I think it's good to have like open discussions uh with your friends but I don't know and especially now like to see that your friends or to hear that your friends are like going out and and still not taking this seriously, make my blood boil to the point where I think I now have a fever. So do you think Sarah should reach out and like work it out? No, I would give this some breather time. I feel like everyone's heightened with stress and anxiety that I don't think it's the right time to have this discussion. In fact, I think it's a really good time that you are separated from her so that you can kind of file away what kind of friendship it is, what she offers to it. Does she make you happy? Does she fulfill you? And I think after

this is said and done, I think you'll probably come up with a different answer. I think we're all going to kind of realize what's important to us and what's not important to us after this phase is over. So I would take this time to really ruminate if she is worthy of your friendship. Yeah, your chair is squeaky. Sorry, I know. Fuck, what do you want me to do? I don't know. I'm just telling you.

Hold on. Listen, I'm talking on a microphone that's sitting on a lamp. I don't know what to do anymore. Hey, everybody. We should mention, because we forgot to mention off the top, we're doing this over FaceTime. We're trying to make it work during lockdown, so you're going to hear different sounds that Jacek might not be able to

remove from the recording, and we're really sorry. let us know if you have any other audio issues anyway back to sarah and yeah her friends who are not um adhering to social distancing recommendations uh i think i agree with you i i i feel bad because sarah has mentioned that she doesn't have a lot of good friends so of course the ones you do have you want to keep in your life but as you said also i don't think i think this is about character i think this is about um prioritizing the collective well goodness the collective what health collective benefit safety yeah personal over and um i it i think that for both of us it's been well for many people it's been infuriating particularly i guess if you work

in the healthcare community, how infuriating it must be to see images of people still going to the beach, images of people crowding the subway. When you know that you're putting your life on the line every single day to go to work, to save lives, to help people get better. And some people just aren't being responsible and not listening to science. like this seems to be the tipping point for Sarah right it doesn't sound like her friend or friends these two people have really been that great even before this right this is just kind of highlighted the fact that they sort of suck yeah also there's nowhere to go anymore like last week or whatever they could go for lunch but in a lot of places you can't fucking go out for

lunch well I think and this probably this letter was probably written before things went into like basically lockdown mode and I think that this was an interesting thing an interesting pattern we were seeing um even before like probably like three weeks ago two weeks ago there were a lot of people out there who were like you guys it's just the flu um I had people telling me that constantly and it was so hard to be like but it's not the flu like this is this is some fucking crazy shit that's about to happen. And sometimes it takes people to catch up to where we're all at right now. I will fully acknowledge that was me. Like, you know, I was like, okay, before it ramped up, I was like, okay, let's not overreact. And this was, let's call it, I don't know, 10 weeks

ago. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. And, um, or like in February, maybe even like eight weeks ago or whatever. And I was like, okay, let's, let's not overreact. I think we should still be careful, but let's, I don't think, like, I didn't, I didn't think that back in like end of January and February, we needed to be in lockdown. And now of course I do. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, let me put my hand up first and say, Hey, like I was looking at the headlines. I was reading everything I could. And at the time, what I was reading was in North America, let's call it like first, second week of February, it didn't seem like we needed to go into lockdown yet. So now, however, after all the information, undeniable information from basically all

scientists in every country, yes, this is what is required. So I try not to leave my house at all. Right. I would be curious to know what Sarah's friends say now. Like, I wonder if she's talked to them and and and i wonder the apology that she was looking for has come or will be coming right because she's like i've apologized before for my heated behavior i wonder but i've never gotten one from this chick yeah so a i mean for me i still stand by what i said earlier which is like take this time and take stock of this friendship if it's really worth it sure you might not have a lot of friends but it's i would rather have zero friends and have two fucking subpar ones um and then um do that and then simultaneously you can see how and if she um reacts to this whole COVID-19

situation and actually you know fucking woman's up and says hey Sarah I was actually a fucking cocksucker uh what you were saying was true like maybe there will be a room for her to apologize and then you know we can take it from there but for right now I wouldn't be reaching out to her Right. Because tensions are high. Can we sidebar though, speaking of tensions? Okay. So we have all seen like the footage from Florida to Vancouver. Yeah. Yeah. So you and I both have Vancouver connections. Basically Vancouver is now the Florida of fucking Canada. I know. I hate that so much. Thank you 604. That's the area code by the way of Vancouver. But anyway, even in our neighborhood, there are people who are not adhering to social distancing recommendations.

Like, I try not to go out too much, but we have dogs, so we are taking the dogs out for walks, and there are people meeting up for coffee. Yeah, it's crazy. Going for walks together. And is it okay to yell at people? To call out people who are not properly social distancing? Let's say that I'm out with my dogs and I walk by a group, which just happened. I walk by a group of three or four people and they're clearly not of the same household can i be like hey uh or scatter or whatever in some neighborhoods like my cousin lives in a neighborhood where if like because there have been a lot of people um at at the playground which you're not supposed to be at right right and so in her neighborhood people

are rolling down the car window and being like get the fuck home which i if i don't know if i have the balls to do yet but i actually think if you do like lady i think you actually do have that bite in you that you could do it i think you should because this isn't like an opinion this isn't like a this isn't this is as we've talked about is based on fucking size science and is a fucking health crisis right like and it fucks up everybody if people don't abide by the rules so yes i do think it's okay for people i don't know how to do it in a non-aggressive way to be quite honest with you. Um, because it's infuriating and they're clearly not getting the hint from anybody else. So yes, I think the next time you walk by somebody with your fucking goddamn dogs

and ideally, yes, it's there with you. You say something. Well, this, I haven't left my house in fucking days, so I don't even know that people exist. This just happened because we walked our dogs and we walked by a group of teenagers. There were three teenagers and they were like huddled like in an underpass probably and they were like drinking pop or I don't know whatever it is there were three of them and I looked at Jacek and I was like you know what even if we went up to them maintaining a six foot distance and said hey guys you really should not be here and doing this what would they care like they're 17 or 16 and here come these two adults with their matching dogs and lecturing us fuck you they they'd wait for us to walk away they'd give us the finger

behind our back or to our faces and they'd still stay there like you know you know that i guess so but at least you got to say it at least you did something right i think isn't that important sure they might not listen um they're gonna do what they're gonna do clearly their parents don't give a shit if they let them outside the goddamn house um but at least you do your part as a citizen. Yeah. I don't know that. Anyway, I don't know. I want to live wherever your cousin lives. That's where I want to live. That sounds like they're doing things fucking right. Anyway, Sarah, I hope that helped you. Good luck. Stay safe. Stay indoors. Thank you for observing social distancing, physical distancing. Physical distancing. Actually. Yes. Okay. Finally,

dear Lainey and Sasha, since we're all in quarantine and therapy is not an option, I figured I'd toss this problem at you two. Over the last year and a half, my best friend, we'll call her T, of many years, we had a slow, painful falling out, drifting away of sorts. It was an all-give, very little-take relationship towards the end. We still talk in group settings, but I realized it's best for me to keep her at arm's length. Problem is, since we were so close, she's part of all my social circles. Now is a good time to let you know we are all in our early 20s, hence the drama.

T had a small meltdown recently after she found out me and one of our mutual friends, V, hung out and did not invite her. V and I have been hanging out one-on-one for months before this, so I'm not sure why this triggered T. Regardless, she directly confronted me and I couldn't say what I was honestly thinking without blowing up our friend group. She later apologized for the outburst, but it won't be the last time something like this comes up. The question I have is how have you guys navigated breakups within friend groups, especially if your former ride or die is kind of a selfish ass sometimes. Any tips for healing that wound would also be appreciated.

Thanks. Chelsea, my fake name of choice. Thank you for giving us a fake name. Yes, Chelsea. Okay. How are you feeling about this?

She is the ex best friend. And they've had a slow back pedal. like not a bad time like a slow breakup right okay but they fall in the same social circles so um all right what's your vibe t confronted chelsea and um she apologized afterwards yeah all right clearly t is probably has some pent-up sadness right i'm sure when you as you said, it was a very painful breakup. Uh, just because it's a friend doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt as much as it would. I mean, it hurts usually more than when you break up with just like, uh, like a partner or a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Um, so there's still residue pain and clearly

T's outburst was based from maybe a sadness, maybe a bit of a jealousy, right? Like she, even though you guys might not ever be tight again, it's still sad to see that, you know, see your ex-best friend being close with somebody else. Yeah. I agree. I think that that came from a place of hurt. Like, hey, I wasn't included. That is painful. And going forward, I don't know that you have any other option but to just deal with it with compassion. Yes. You do you. Go ahead and make plans and spend time with the people you want to spend time with. But when someone has a reaction like that, when they're hurt, I guess, I'm not saying you have to like eat it on your knees, but expect that there might be a reaction and it won't be like pleasant, but it's coming

from hurt. And so I don't, and you did the right thing. Like she didn't blow shit up. Chelsea didn't blow the shit up. So like, you know, props to you, Chelsea, for not, what, what is that expression? Um, biting, taking the bait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Props to you for not taking the bait. And I guess continue to do that as the bigger person, understanding from a place of compassion that this person is lashing out because of feeling hurt. I'm not, sorry, go ahead. Well, and also coming from a place where, you know, T so well, you said that she was a selfish ass right so this is this is part of her characteristic flaw that you very much um have been privy to probably one of the reasons why you step back from the friendship anyway

i feel like the pro here is that you both kind of are at a social distance knowing your roles chelsea you seem like this grounded person who isn't gonna as laney say bite the bait and t is this kind of spastic selfish selfish outbursting type but then she apologizes after listen that's not the most ideal situation but it seems like there has been a dance that can continue in order for your social circle to continue so it's like i wish i had advice but it almost seems like you guys are figuring out a way as best as you can to figure this out right like Chelsea's just gonna fucking try to not um uh engage and T when she does her outbursts or get selfish seemingly knows about it after what's that term that you always say when people when you

like realize you were talking about when you're petty you're petty and then you realize that you're like you give yourself a like a couple of days and you realize how fucking petty you are I have a term like that yeah you came up anyway whatever but my point being at least he recognizes that she was wrong and was able to apologize to you. Right. So it doesn't seem like there's an easy fix for this, but right now it seems like you guys have kind of, even though it's not super ideal,

have figured out a way to still remain in the same social circle. Yeah, I mean, both people have to acclimate to the new reality. Yeah. And she clearly is having a harder time acclimating. And listen, don't like rule out the possibility of you may be reacting weirdly if T ends up hanging out with somebody you're into or not

into in that way, but someone you're close to, you might have a reaction too. And that's totally normal. I also want to say here that I don't think T's reaction is abnormal. I think it's very human to feel a certain way when you're left out and when you know about it. So, um, approach, I mean, I don't want to be like, I don't want to like, um, give advice that is directly quoting Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, fuck. Why not? She's literally being strung through this whole podcast. Please. What does Ellen say? No, because her tagline I think is like, be kind to others or whatnot, which clearly, or not clearly, but allegedly she doesn't practice. But I think if you do the mind tweak of approaching the situation with kindness and compassion, like thinking of

sympathetically that, hey, yeah, it's kind of like, it would be kind of fucked up to feel left out and to know you were left out and to know you weren't invited. So I'm going to feel bad for her and yeah to have compassion then maybe this won't bug you so much I totally agree also the other little chip to this is the control you can really only ever control your own behavior and so keep on going with the line that you are which is just like above board being respectful um that's all you can do right if she freaks out she freaks out just don't engage because then that will that will blow up everything. If you guys start bickering again, nobody's going to want to hang out with you. So if you could just do it all quite like above board, then I think everyone can continue

on. And then you don't put your friends in a position where they have to fucking pick and choose. And especially, as you said, we're all in quarantine. So it's going to be real hard to like, you know, in quarantine, have confrontations with people over house party. Although I would love if what we had a fight during no i would house party no no i would love hearing about a house party fight that would be if you don't know what house party is it's a really great app uh for these times where you can just invite all your friends and hang out but what's weird about house party is you can jump into other people's house party that's where you're gonna see the fucking fights only if you haven't locked your party which i can't believe isn't like a thing you always actually

as soon as we're in a party you're always the first person to fucking lock it yeah because you're fucking stranger danger well that's true even even through the internet in these times i am a stranger danger it's true um anyway no but like in these times of quarantine like can you imagine like people are going to take their in-person fights over to house party you think so well fuck i hope so not i don't hope for bad things to happen and drama but as we have said before, we're trying to ramp up these podcasts. So send your questions. If you have house party drama. Yes. If you have quarantine drama, please. Yes. Let us know. And email me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts,

leave comments and reviews. We hope all of you are healthy. We hope you're safe. We hope you're social distancing. We hope that this is over sooner rather than later. But in the meantime, we're here for you so let us know what let us know what you what you need

solved for you yeah we're here for your drama not that you and I can solve anything I know we just have create more drama

but still we're here for you we're still here for you okay we'll see you next time bye bye We'll be right back.