What's Your Drama - Gisele & Tom's Lameness and How to be a Good Friend without Going Broke

Episode Date: May 3, 2017

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers Podcast! Sorry we skipped last week, but we had some scheduling issues but alas we are at it again!On today's show: debriefing on our hits and misses from the MET Gala while passing judgement (fairly or unfairly) on Gisele Bundchen, when to share personal details about your past, and how to support your friend without sacrificing your bank account.Thanks again for listening and keep your questions coming to me at [e-mail] or tweet us at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip. And head over to iTunes and Google Play to download the podcast!S.xx  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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hey what's going on we were uh away last week but we're back we are we um we couldn't get our scheduling right because uh duanna and i went to new york um and then met gala then it was met gala and both of us i mean you produce the fashion segments like for e-talk and then we have been writing all night yes you're delirious a bit i can tell i'm a little bit delirious i haven't slept since Sunday. So you guys were listening to this on Wednesday and we are taping on

Tuesday night. Tuesday night, yeah. So we've just wrapped the Met Gala coverage. Why didn't you sleep on Sunday? What do you mean? Wait, no. Yeah, like I slept Sunday night

and then woke up Monday morning and then didn't sleep on Monday and then, yeah, Met Gala. Okay. So what did you think? Because you texted me, I think, two hours into arrivals and you were like,

this fucking sucks. Everybody sucks. Because, well, I sent you, like, just some Zs for Giselle because that was the first picture I'd seen and I was like, this is so fucking boring and it makes me, I hate that I'm angered by fashion because that sounds so frivolous. But I love being angered by fashion. But I was like, fuck you lazy fucks. Like, you're given all this opportunity to, like, wear anything you want and you come

in like a slip dress. Like, it's just so annoying. It's just so boring. And it makes me just think, like, celebrities are just these, like, useless tools who get told what to do and they do it. Like, you see the odd person who actually has input, right? Like the Solanges or the fucking bow down to Rihannas. But other than that… Yeah, but I would think someone like Giselle doesn't get told.

Because, you know, she makes more money than Tom does. Like, she is the top model. She doesn't have to do, what, Victoria's Secret anymore. She no longer does Runway. Right. She really only does editorial. she's fucking made her money like she is the gold standard of models so don't tell me that she was like okay Stella I'll just wear this fuck off that's what she wanted to wear but that just

equates to the fact that I think she's a boring person uh we put a pin in that okay about her being a boring person um so so who did you like besides Giselle who did you despise um I despise her. I despised Selena. I despised J-Lo. I despised everybody who just didn't go with the theme. Hit, hit, yeah. Someone, so I wanted, I was curious though, like of course we, I think we were probably like a lot of the same sort of risk takers, but if you had to wear any gown that you saw, which one would it be? Where am I going though?

You're going, you're going to the Met. You're going to the Met. Okay. And you're, and you're going as Lainey. You're not going as Beyonce. Yeah. What would you wear? I would probably, like, for me, Solange. Okay. That is you.

That is me. Like, I live in a parka jacket. Like, I wore literally my parka, even, I wore it yesterday. Yesterday was May 1st. Yeah. I wore it yesterday. So, even Jacek is nodding. That's actually what I would wear.

I co-sign that. And those shoes are totally my jam. Yeah. Okay. There you go. How about you? I would have worn Dakota Johnson. I feel like that would be what I would have chosen.

That is your aesthetic. Right? Yeah. Maria didn't like it on her site. Yes. I saw that and I disagree with her, which is fair. But that would have been the dress that I would have picked. Yeah.

I could see you in that. It's like, I think that they did a good job on that construction. I thought it was beautiful. Also with being whimsical. And the bursts of, like, flowers coming out of the shoulder is very cum. Yeah. Or cum de garcon, CDG. Yeah.

Yassik's like, huh? Yeah. We're still talking fashion. But I, yeah, it made me, just like you, it made me angry. Like, this is the opportunity to be weird. Like, when you have a theme like this, and then when the Met actually says to you, avant-garde, jessica chastain oh like why why you and you nailed i think it was you who nailed it it was totally beauty and the beast totally and but i guess it really falls on the designers like the

designers need to up their fucking game um right because these are the people that are invited to to dress people and they're just kind of like i don't know like oh i think their problem is that like they want to be represented at the event and they have their celebrities that they you know invite to sit at their table to wear their clothes, but they have their aesthetic, right? They have their line. Like Selena Gomez wore coach and coach isn't in the business of red carpet.

So it was like probably a custom design specifically just for her to go in coach, but they just don't have the background. Like they're just kind of taking it from the materials that they have in their warehouse to make other garments. And then thought that they could have done something good, especially. Well,

anyway, she was a snooze, snooze fucking Lupita was a snooze Lupita was a huge disappointment like I just it was just boring boring here's the thing though will I say well I will say that it was like these people were boring and it made us angry and I like being angry because like that's what you get to talk about you get to like fucking yell at them and being like what the fuck Diane Kruger yeah can I just I mean I I have already said this on the blog but I just want to elaborate because I don't know i've gotten a few people saying wow what an overreaction it's not because diane kruger is on

the list of like fab like you know best yeah all you know she gets chanel she gets john batista valley and now i don't understand why it's not interesting yeah no i agree i agree like to me if i have solange tracy ellis ross rihanna zoe kravitz all the women who like really brought it um i why would i need diane kruger yeah it's true it's true there's way more fashion risk takers than Diane Kruger oh what did you think of Bella Hadid and then Selena like what do you think of the revenge outfit yeah because that was all about look at my body I think Bella Hadid could have done better I didn't like that outfit anyway but yeah if we're talking about frame by frame who brought the sex appeal obviously Bella but it's interesting to note that who you can have all the

sex appeal in the world the weekend's down for Selena's cause like he there is nobody he's more into than her he was smiling on the red carpet that dick bag hasn't smiled on a red carpet ever yeah let alone the fact that he was kissing her on the red carpet blew my mind like and high school kissing like sweetie pie kissing yeah like just the tips of your little like and like nuzzling and like hair touching which I quite enjoy in a candid sense but they knew every eyeball was on them and they were like they went to their prom yeah what killed me was the pda okay so you're there's your conventional pda like hand holding and nuzzling and whatever gross but then there's the eyes closed pda i can't i can't like you did you see those pictures where she looks like she's

like like like so blissed out oh but this is what's so funny it's selena well it's not funny it's fucking gross but the fact that selena and the weekend brought that and j-lo and a-rod didn't Like, that just, if you think about that, like, Jennifer Lopez is the queen of that. And she didn't even stoop to that. That's just, to me, it was, like, I'm all for PDA. Like, it's interesting. It's cute. I don't personally love doing it, but I understand why there are some couples who feel like that.

That was just, like, I don't know. It was suspect. It was suspect. I totally agree that it was suspect. And, like, I think it was a performance, obviously, for Bella's benefit. Like, oh, we know she's going to be here. This is our first official red carpet. We got to turn it on and crank it up.

But I, like, where do you go from there? I don't know. You mean in terms of, like, their relationship? Where does it go? Yeah. They are on a J-Lo track. Like, J-Lo and A-Rod have been dating a minute. Yeah.

Like, five, maybe. Yes. And they've already done the family thing, the kids thing. This is their first official red carpet. So it is like as official as it can be. Same with Selena and The Weeknd. Yeah. Like there is something to withholding for a while.

I mean, I'm not talking Gwyneth and Chris who never walked a red carpet together ever. But I get it. Like waiting for six months or waiting for three months. But this was like immediate. And it was like, it was just a lot. It was a lot of cheesiness. Can you also tell that they probably talked about it like six weeks ago or like as soon as they fell in love and we're like, okay, so here's what we're going to do and we're

going to make our big drop at the Met Gala and it's going to be so amazing. And beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. And then equally as gross was Giselle and what's his face? Tom Brady, which you told me to put a pin on it. So can I release that pin? Okay.

So I have to maybe call myself out a little or admit that, hi, Lara. So Lara, our friend Lara, and I, 10 years ago, it's our 10-year anniversary of covering the Met Gala. I was with her last night. She also talked about that milestone. So we were together and it was like the greatest moment in our careers at that point because, of course, we love fashion. We love the Met Gala.

And we just loved watching. Like nobody stops to talk to you, really. So you can just go, essentially, to like be right up close and personal with the dresses and whatever. and that's when we got rejected by Anna Wintour so like

we have seen 10 years ago we watched Tom and Giselle like do their thing and it wasn't annoying in fact we were obsessed

we couldn't stop talking we couldn't stop staring I don't know when they made the turn to annoying it was that for you too right? I've always loved Giselle

and then now more and more I'm like oh you just sound like I don't know she sounds like now she's like a mix of a Stepford wife

a bit of like again as i said earlier in this podcast like really boring like she wasn't like this fun brazilian like dancing awesome chick now she's just like really square but she's with a really squarely stupid husband you're totally right because she's almost like um a little bit of hey i'm still cool and i still like i still talk in cool slang like you know that interview when she's talking to Andre Leon Talley and she's like, 100% sustainable, baby. Yeah, baby. Celine Dion's cooler than fucking Gisele Bundchen.

Oh, please. Nobody is cooler than Celine Dion. No, I know. No buddy. Yeah, with no irony. No irony. Like, we adore her, right? You would, like, throw yourself out of a truck

for Celine Dion. Yes. And suddenly, like, Gisele's become so corny. Yeah, really corny. And I think part of the problem, too, is that Tom Brady is a Trump supporter which has made me

have added another layer of like disdain for them and like when they drop when he dropped well actually Andre Leontali

was the one who said bootylicious but hearing fucking stupid Tom Brady say bootylicious also was just a big

I will never be the same no I didn't like that I hate I don't like them mark my words of what I just don't like

Tom Brady and Giselle I was like mark your but what what are you predicting No, no, it was just mark my words that I don't like them. Maybe it's a jealousy though. Cause they're so perfect.

No, she's hot. He's hot. I think she's hot. I don't think he's hot. I'm not jealous. I'm not jealous of that. Cause now I know that their lives are really boring. Okay.

So what did you think of Tracy Ellis Ross? Loved it. Right. Because she brought it. She brought it. Yes. So I wrote that I love that coat just because, you know, it's structured, it's totally, well, it's Comme des Garcons, so of course it's on theme. But when you look at that coat, it is extremely versatile in terms of what?

Like you could wear it day to night, is that what you mean? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I would, I mean, it would take somebody pretty like unique to pull that off day to night. Sure, but I would, okay, let's take Tracee Ellis Ross who wore it. And she wore it really well. She wore it to the Met Gala. If she put on a pair of Adidas, she could go, like, wherever, right?

Brunch. So what I wrote was, like, you can actually take this coat to a few places. Like, work, work dinner. And people know, like, you this. Brunch friends. Well, we got a little, like. Really? Yes, which I love.

Like, I mean, keep sending us this. We want your letters. Can we feature them on this? Yeah. Well, even, like, we say, yell at us, shout at us. Let's argue about fashion. But I never hear about it. It's the most fun thing, right, to fight about fashion.

Okay, so check this out. So this is from Jen. Hi, Jen. Lainey, you are out of your mind if you think that you could wear Tracee Ellis Ross's dress to, quote, whatever real-life occasion you need to take it to. Work, work dinner, friend dinner, brunch. If you're feeling yourself picking up the kids, a date, a family gathering,

fuck, you could wear it on the school run with a pair of sneakers. It all works. She said, I would buy two, maybe three of the things in that list, but the entire thing is fucking ridiculous. Okay. I totally disagree. Like I said, throw on a pair of Adidas and that becomes an entirely different look, still as dope.

But the point is, is that in that jacket, that coat is like a glorified raincoat. Yes. A hundred percent. I agree. There are lots of things that, well, you have to have like a bit of swag, right? so Jen but you would have swag to pick that design anyway right but Jen probably isn't like a super fan of that entire outfit anyway not to say that Jen has like no fashion sense right but like that's obviously just not her bag like you can pull off things that like you would think that you could

pull off fucking Solange's duvet cover well I would fucking try and ice skates I mean I'll say this right now i could pull off the ice skates and the parka more than i could pull off like giselle's dress that's true i'm never gonna wear giselle's dress i'm sorry so i'm looking at tracy ellis's ross tracy so to me it's to me if you are the kind of person who's gonna pull up and buy that come dig our song tracy ellis ross jacket then you're gonna work it in every it's just a shawl with like a high mock neck it's nothing like too crazy it's listen again it's a glorified raincoat with really great structure like that pocket on the left hand side is amazing that droops a little bit asymmetrical um yeah it's essentially a pop-up high collar but you have

to actually just imagine it the problem is is that you know you have to be able to like imagine where it's going to go. And I think that, for instance, 20 years ago, nobody was imagining people wearing dresses with sneakers. Of course. And now it is like, go to Vogue, go to any fashion website. All they're talking about is wearing Stan Smiths with like the fanciest business suit.

Like you, right now, people are wearing Stan Smiths, the Adidas sneaker, with like $2,000 business suits. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People are wearing… Thank God it's the look, too. Yeah, and thank God it's the look. It's super comfortable.

They're wearing… You're wearing all… Yeezys. You're wearing all kinds of sneakers with like very, very pretty, pretty, fancy dresses. So, what I'm saying is 20 years ago, nobody imagined that. You just have to try it. So, again, this Comme des Garcons jacket, yeah. Every day.

let's go or a pair of oxfords Stan Smith's oxfords moto boots in fact this jacket

almost goes with every shoe you could do a sandal with it I agree you're like preaching to the choir here

I know but I like Jen these are the kinds of I want more of these letters that we

do you want another one yeah but someone that's like a little bit more angry really like an angrier

tone Elise wrote to us and she was angry but not at us okay she's angry and a winter okay yeah that's fair time for the winter to secure the right to personally prevent any asshole who shows up dressed like a fucking idiot drowning in sea foam jay low or covered in coral paltrow from actually getting in these types will add zero to the party anyway well okay i get it but at the same time we need those we need those people we really really really need those people so that like we can fucking shit on them yeah we

need the juxtaposition but that's what's so annoying like i hate that i i'm i'm filled with like such disdain but if they left me i would be so sad yeah exactly yeah okay one more this is from sharon did you um before i'd say this though you have to have seen it oh did you see caroline Kennedy's dress? She was also wearing cum, right? Yes. So Sharon says her worst dress, I felt that it was Caroline Kennedy. And Sharon, I have to say you're wrong. I disagree firmly, vehemently. It's hard, right? Because it wasn't figure flattering. It wasn't like a beautiful moment but again that's not what that event is about that's not what come to carson is about so in fact she hit the nail right on the fucking head she did like you know ray uh kawakubo uh

actually made a point of not doing body con and not doing figure flattering like Like, that's Pharrell's fucking wife. Exactly. It was Gumby or whatever, right? To me, too, also, again, going back to fucking Giselle, if Caroline Kennedy, the daughter of JFK and Jackie, could wear something so off, like, off the main track, what the fuck is Giselle doing?

Why do we hate Giselle so much? I found it really insulting. Yes, I did, too. I did too. Especially that she was co-chair. Anyway. Anyway, shall we? Yes, we shall. Okay. Quick question. When was the last time a display ad changed your mind? Now think about the last time a friend told you about something they loved. Different feeling, right? That's how podcast advertising works. A host who's built real trust with their audience talks about your brand in their own words, in their own voice.

It doesn't interrupt the experience. It's part of it. With ACAST, you can access the world's largest podcast marketplace. Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. Then watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions. You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting ACAST.com slash advertise. Okay, first question. Hi, Saj and Lainey. A few years ago, I suffered a trauma that caused me to develop PTSD. I've received treatment, shout out to the amazing staff at CAMH, and I'm doing really well. I'm doing so well, in fact, that I'm thinking about starting to date again. My question is this, how soon is too soon to discuss my traumatic experience? Obviously,

acts of violence aren't exactly first date talking points. Hi, I'll have a gin and tonic, now let me tell you about the worst experience in my life. But if I did start seeing someone on a regular basis, it's something I'd want them to know about in order to put some things into context. For example, I'm left with a pretty exaggerated startle response to loud noises, running footsteps, and screaming. And I'm worried that I'll come across as overdramatic to someone who doesn't know about my history. But I also don't want to freak someone out by laying this on them way too early. Any suggestions? I'm just overthinking this. And it's one of those, you'll know when the time is right things. Thanks so much, P.

Hi, P. Hi, P. Thanks for sharing this, Beth. Well, I think it's actually quite timely because it's Mental Health Week. You've also been dealing and have been open about some of the stuff that you've been dealing with as a close friend. I mean, I feel like I have lots of people who deal with mental health issues all the time, me included. I've had my time as well. And I think, I don't want to sound like wishy-washy or just like kind of loosey-goosey with the advice, but I think what she said, our reader, our writer P, about you'll know when the time is right, I think that that is the truth here. Like I think you'll be in a conversation with someone and you'll just know, you'll start to delve deeper into your lives, into your personal lives, what you've gone through,

and that's when you can reveal those things. I think those things happen naturally. Mm-hmm. I mean, you're right. I think that, yes, to me, that is the answer. It's like with anything. When do you start talking about your family? When do you start talking?

It's whenever you feel comfortable. And again, as you said, when the time is right. I do understand, though, where P is coming from in the sense that, you know, you have gone through this mental health issue. you're on the other side and yet we all know that mental health is not treated in the same way as physical health and we all carry around certain assumptions and as she said you don't want to freak someone out and like to me it's part of our work and our ongoing awareness and having this discussion is to normalize the fact that lots and lots and lots of people, um, struggle

with their mental health and experience depression and PTSD and anxiety and whatnot. And the thing is, is that I recently got a great piece of advice about talking about mental health and trying to remove the stigma around it, you wouldn't feel weird or as weird disclosing to somebody that you broke your ankle or have a headache or have migraines. So if we are to get to a place where we see mental health and physical health and struggles on both ends the same way, because it is an illness, it's happening to your body, then we have to be able to make those, make those equivalencies, I guess, and draw this, you know, draw our behavior around that fact. Yeah.

So, to me, yes, do it, pee, do it when the time feels right, for sure, but also remember in your own language and we all have to do this that it has to be a normalized part of conversation which I really feel and I don't I don't want to undermine people's feelings but I really do feel like there are major strides being made more so than ever like I almost feel like mental health has become like a popular topic of conversation like so many people in the spotlight so many celebrities are coming out talking about it and I almost feel like it's like well I do I feel like it's a lot more acceptable i mean i just did an interview with kelly oxford today and like her whole book is about her anxiety attacks um and people are really talking about it and i think

it's like at least for me i feel like especially with my friend group uh and people i don't even know like i would be totally fine to talk about my depression granted not as extreme as our reader or many people out there but i actually think it's an interesting topic of conversation yeah And a commonality because everybody's fucked up. Everyone's had some screwy background. Everybody has some sort of trauma in their life that they can relate to. So I think it's like, don't be, I mean, that's the running theme here is like breaking down the stigma and not being embarrassed by it because there's nothing wrong with having

a life story. No, I think that that's where we want to get to. But, I mean, having recently, you know, been with a friend who is struggling with her own mental health issues, I can tell you that once you come out the other side, it's one thing. But when you're in it, at least as I observed with her, the shame and the guilt and the sense of feeling weak is very, very strong. Yeah, when you're in it, it's not. That's not something you want to talk about. And that, but the thing is, is that unfortunately it's when you're in it where you need to talk about it the most to access help.

You know, there are people who delay help or for some it's too late because in the moment they're not talking about it and they're not sharing and, and then it leads to increased mystery for everybody else. So we draw our own conclusions. So, hey, like what? Is she just like lazy? Is she just distracted? Is she just like too in love with this guy to come to work?

Is she not calling us back because, you know, she hates us and she doesn't want to be friends with us anymore? So we all like fill in that mystery with often terrible assumptions, right? So I think that it becomes this cycle where the more we talk about it, hopefully the more the people who are in it, in deep and in the dark place will be able to talk about it. because yeah it's as you said when you were in it you weren't talking about it no um but i guess yeah i guess my my advice was more for people who've come out of it because people who've come out of it and i think that's when you can start to share your stories and that's where you see

the trickle effect exactly what you were saying is then it can start to help the people that are fucking knee deep in it yeah um but for specifically for our writer like when you're going on out on a date and like getting back in the dating scene like that's nothing to be embarrassed about like you're on the other side of it and you can talk freely about it because Because it becomes who you are. It becomes another interesting aspect of your, like, your makeup. Yeah. It is.

I mean, we, I don't know that, like, we're there or even close yet because I can hear conversations that I've contributed to where, you know, you're with a friend and they're telling you about this person and you're like, I don't know, that guy sounds a little crazy. Sure. You know, like, I don't know if you want to take that on. Yeah. Whereas, like, I don't know if we would ever say that if someone said to you, I have diabetes. well you would you be like i'm not dating that person because they have diabetes and it should

be the same thing like in what we're trying to get to and i always think about this too especially in my case there's culture involved as well you know we in north america even though we have a long way to go i think we're still further ahead than people in other countries like i can't tell my mother um like you know one of the most frustrating things is like explaining to my mother, you know, she'll ask how a friend is or whatever. And I'll have to say, well, you know, she's going through depression and she has some anxiety and she's like, why do they have a job? What's there to be unhappy about? Why is, why do you have to be unhappy? And what's interesting though, is my mother has had her own share of mental health. Like I was going to say, she's

been really sick physically and that has affected her emotionally and mentally. And she's, you know, tried to see a therapist and she's gone into like rages and anxiety and like if only she was part of a culture like chinese culture is behind on mental health awareness and understanding um and so if only she had the background and a community that allowed that yeah then it wouldn't be so fucking frustrating talking to her anyway right this is not a venting session okay but um So, yeah, obviously when the time feels right to you and you will know, but at the same time, you know, we all collectively need to do our part to talk openly about mental health. Agreed.

Okay, next question. Dear Sasha and Lainey, I have a friend who I love very much. She's amazing. We've been close for over two decades and there's nothing wrong with our friendship or relationship whatsoever. However, I want your take on something that I'm struggling with. As I mentioned she's amazing and with that amazingness she's always volunteering her time or doing activities for charities. Riding for cancer, basketball games for heart disease,

sleeping outside for the homeless, marathon for AIDS, HIV awareness, the list goes on. She can sometimes be doing two events a month and if you multiply that by 12 months it's a lot but mostly a lot on my paycheck. I want to support her but I also feel obligated to support her but I'm a single mother and a hundred dollars a month almost every month is a lot for me yeah adds up wow like it's a lot for fucking anybody so my question is how do I support her without going broke thank you V uh yeah that's a lot of money I have my best friend Adam is exactly like this amazing friend of our writers um he does something all the time and I get an email in my inbox all the time being like i'm doing this press here to donate um and i've talked to him about it

before and what's so great because he's so amazing is he would never ever put the pressure on me to be donating to all of his yeah extracurricular charity activity right um so i find i feel like i i don't think our writer should necessarily talk to her friend about it but i don't think she needs to be donating every time her friend does something you know like that that shouldn't be expected from her no I don't think it's expected from her no I don't I don't know that it's expected from her and I don't know that it's wrong of her to set up these fundraising pages that's what she's doing right so it's mostly then about how V is reacting it's like to me this is on you yeah like don't feel like there's some guilt yeah like she's not doing it on purpose

she's like let me enter this marathon so that v can like go broke right like it's not like that she's amazing um so there's nothing from like the friend's perspective that i would want to change yes but it's your um your attitude and your your approach to it that has to change i think you have to remove the guilt yeah it's so self-imposed and but i get it right she wants to support her friend she feels bad yeah doesn't support her friend yeah um so i would say to be like in a year a lot how much you want to spend to this chick and if it works out to being like ten dollars a cause then you just donate ten dollars a cause or fuck that and if there's one that speaks to you the most if it's like if cancer is something that's really important to you because you've

had that in your family or whatever then just donate to that like drop that lump sum in there yeah but fuck i wouldn't even be paying a hundred bucks a month like i would just like like 200 bucks for the whole entire fucking year is all I would spend for my best friend. Well, and if you can, I think that's like, you know, that's something you've learned to let go, right? But this is definitely an issue that to me is related to like women carry this guilt of like, oh, I haven't, I don't know, I haven't, I often hear from my friends and from women I meet I haven't you know cooked at home enough this week and I haven't yeah oh and there are

women out there who like especially with like when it becomes like especially when it comes to supporting and doing things that are assigned to them I'm saying this in quotation marks you know I haven't taken my kid to the park enough I feel bad am I like am I not contributing as much as a mom am i not being a good enough friend because i haven't contributed enough to my my friends fundraising and biking and riding and whatever like i really really i mean yes it's gonna roll his eyes but i really really feel that men don't feel that way that it's primarily like you know and it's not a knock on men is that a nod yes or a nod no because someone even asked they were like Can we get more, like, guy input?

Like, what does Jacek have to say about things like that? So are you nodding yes or nodding no? Okay. He said, no, so what he said was generally yes, women do feel that, like, stronger in that way. He says it's maybe, like, he's a stretch to say all men, but I would say predominantly, you know, it is a thing about women that we put this pressure on ourselves

to like, you know, do everything and then, or, and listen, I'm stretching in, in other areas right now, but I believe that it's rooted in the same thing. So like writing thank you notes and we've talked about that before, right? Yeah. And it's, it's all of that. Yes. To me, I do think that like generally for the most part, it slides off men easier. And so I don't think that, I don't think that your friend would hold it against you as you

said, Sash. So V, I think that you have to let yourself go on it. I think that it's work you have to do on your part. Yeah. The expectation has been put on herself by herself. So yeah, like release yourself of that and do what you are capable of doing. Yeah. Yeah. Like if I'm your friend, I, and she's this amazing person who you've, and you've used the word amazing so many times. If she's that amazing, then your friend is keenly aware of the fact that you are a single mom and you have your you know you have the shit that you have to hold down so i would i would never i don't think that you have a friend who would actually be like well why is v like fucking cheaping out on me now like fucking tight ass and whatever i i honestly can't see that happens

happening and that's the reason why v i think this is on you you and other women out there i kind of have to let it go a bit i agree so that wraps it up for us um thank you so much for your letters and keep them coming to me at sasha at laneygossip.com and keep uh listening to us on itunes and on google play and leave comments um and yeah we'll see you next week We'll be right back. while every other channel is fighting for your customers attention podcasts are where they've already given it no one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes they choose to be here they trust the voice in their ears and when that voice talks about your brand it doesn't sound like

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