What's Your Drama - Groomzilla & Dogzilla

Episode Date: November 1, 2017

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers Podcast!On today's show: We reflect on the Jelena drama (because we are teens), how to handle a demanding groom and whether to dawg on your friend's dog.Thanks for tuning in and keep your questions to me at [e-mail] and hit us up on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course check us out on iTunes and Google Play.Sxx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Lainey, and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast with Sasha Answers. How's it going? It's good. I've been following a story that is, you know, a really big deal for today's generation. Justin and Selena. And also, this is Sunday. I know this will be posted on Wednesday, but this is Sunday. And I also think it's interesting as a reflection, as gossip always is, as a reflection of, like, how modern millennial relationships work.

Because Justin… no, sorry. Selena and The Weeknd have been together for, like, nine months or whatever. And then last week, Justin Bieber was seen going to Selena Gomez's house with a group of friends. And at the time, the assurance was, Abel knows about it and he's cool. Yes. Then on Sunday, today, there's a new photo out. They had breakfast or brunch together.

Yes. And then… And very out in the open, too. He's wearing a hood. Like, he's all impunito, but she is very out in an open booth. Yeah. Okay. And now, of course, people are watching all of their social media.

Mm-hmm. And apparently the weekend, Abel has unfollowed Selena. Oh. As of, like, right now. This I don't know. As of today's Sunday, so maybe in, like, five minutes he'll refollow her. Okay. Because this is the shit that happens.

But in real time right now, they are not following each other. He has unfollowed her, and he's been unfollowing, like, members of her crew, like, her friends. And then his friends have supposedly been unfollowing her. So, listen, by the time people listen to this, they probably will have followed and unfollowed each other, like, 18 more times. However, this is, like, you know, the new breaking news. Like, you follow them to see who they follow as a sign of whether or not people are still dating.

Are they copacetic, copacetic or not? Yeah. Well, that's so interesting, right? I mean, it's perfect for this podcast because what would you do if you were the weekend and your girlfriend is going to see her ex-boyfriend? No bueno to me. Like, that's not good. Yeah.

And for me, when I look at it, I'm like, the way I was rationalizing it when the weekend and was apparently all cool with it, was that I feel like Justin's been having like a spiral, you know, he's been spiraling kind of into weirdness for a long time now. So I didn't know if it was Selena reaching out to him so that they could pray together. Right? So that they could like kumbaya together, she could be there to support him. All due respect to G.O.D. Listen, I know how to sign our God is an awesome God.

I am down with G.O.D. But, like, they're really culty in what they're… Well, the whole Hillsong thing is… Is mental. Yeah. Is a thing in and of itself. Yeah. But, I mean, I heard that he's getting better.

Like, that's what they're trying to say. That he, you know, left his tour and it's been a few months now and he's connecting and, you know… Sure. …with G.O.D. all the time and that he's gotten better and… And then decided to tattoo literally hell on earth on his stomach, which doesn't seem like a sign of lightness to me. My whole thing about that tattoo is it looks messy.

It looks disgusting. I'm sad for him because now he'll never, and I think Kathleen talked about it, you'll never get to see your nice, youthful body. Like, what a shame. I just thought, like, you know, you're Justin Bieber. you could have the best artist and the best artist should be doing the best art. And it looks smudged. It looks like, you know… I don't… It looks like charcoal. Yeah. It looks like shading. Remember when we were kids and we had to do stencils and you had

to take a piece of chalk or a piece of lead and turn it on its side and then, like, pinch it with your fingers and then shade in broad strokes? That's what it looks like. It does. You're right. I actually interviewed not this tattoo artist, but his name is John Boy. Anyway, so Justin Bieber's another personal tattoo artist, the one that did the cross by his eye. Do you know that one? And then he told me that they… And listen, again, I really am down with Jesus, but he was like, you know, he was going through

a really hard time and, like, we got down on our knees and we prayed. We prayed before we did that tattoo. So it's like they're really not only just arts of, like, work of art, they're, like, really take these tattoos as some sort of spiritual calling as well. So I'm so curious what the fuck all the gargoyles are about. But anyway, so apparently he's okay, is what you're saying. He's getting better. This saga is, like, I…

Do you think they want to get back together? I don't know. I don't know. I just remember you and I were both at the beginning super into Jess and Selena. Absolutely. A hundred percent. You know, and there are so many offshoots of this story. Like, I routinely have, like, I want to say hardcore a dozen people who email me essays

on the regular, long and involved essays full of angst and rage about them together, them not together. Mostly they're JB fans who hate Selena and think she's manipulative. And so one of them today in particular has already emailed me 18, like, no, not 18. Let me count for you how many emails I've received from this person. This would be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. The first email came at… The first email came just before 11 a.m. Eastern.

and it has come and then the next email came 20 minutes after that then two hours later then 15 minutes after that then half an hour after that then another half an hour after that then 10 minutes after that

like it is because also they're all following on social media, right? Right, so they're seeing it also happening. They're seeing it the unfollows and the follows and then they're talking about it and then they're looking

like because while you are the celebrity everything you do on social media is picked up the second you do it. And then that is amplified by millions. And so all of those people are like, you don't, those people don't need to be next to you. When you're on social media, they actually can track what's happening. Yeah. It's, it's actually really insane. For real world application though. I mean, we've been hearing this for a long, long time. Like when Facebook was used by people who aren't just moms yelling at each other and And your racist uncle. Yes.

Remember how like relationship status was a big deal. Meant everything. Yeah. And people would break up if their other person didn't change their relationship status from single to I don't know, whatever. I don't use it. So I don't know what the options are. But yes, you're right.

You would do a deep dive into someone's relationship by just those in relationship, not in relationship. And there are people I know, like in real life, like it's not just me reading about it. There are people I know in real life whose days are ruined sometimes by… If someone unfollows them, right? Unfollows them or doesn't like a photo. I mean, we've gotten questions before from people who are like, hi, I have this friend who doesn't like any of my photos but wants me to like all her…

It's… Yeah. So, well, okay. So, would you be okay… I guess that's what I'm wondering in, you know, for this podcast, if someone was writing in, if The Weeknd was writing in to us right now about Selena and Justin, would we be like, yeah, right on the weekend, you fucking, of course, should ditch her. She's being shady with Justin.

I don't know. Like, could they be friends? No, that's the thing. They have… Wait, this is the thing. If this was the weekend writing test, I would be like, of course… They have way too much history to be spending that much time together. You know what the kicker is?

Is that if I were the weekend, this is how I would feel. I'd be like, hey, I cut Bella off. You don't see me fucking having brunch and going over to Bella's house and what would happen if I went to Bella Hadid's house. So yeah, I mean, I would feel a certain way. Weirdly enough, I really dislike The Weeknd, but I actually have his back on this one. I love Selena so much. I know. Okay. Ready? Yes, I'm ready. Okay. First question. Dear Sasha, I'm having a bit of a conundrum. One of my best friends, T, of 15 years is getting married. I was chosen as the maid of honor, which I was super excited about. Things in my eyes have now taken a turn to the ick. Luckily, my best friend isn't much of a bridezilla. I think all

her decisions or ideas so far are conscious, fair, etc. The groom, however, her fiancé, we'll call him C, is definitely a good egg. He's amazing to her. They're kids and I couldn't be happier for her. They're kids. Okay. However, even at the beginning, I kind of noticed he was a bit competitive towards me when it came to tea. But what makes me feel ick is that because of this weird competition he has with me, the wedding that tea had envisioned since we were teens is now gone. Here are a couple of examples of this competition that have affected the wedding. When T and C first got engaged, T and I reserved our spots at a local bride expo to go check it out. The day of, C is also there. I was surprised as she hadn't mentioned he was going and it was

supposed to be a girl's thing. She just said he decided to go last minute. C spent the entire duration of the expo monopolizing the whole event while T, another bridesmaid, and I just followed him around. When T would find something she would like, he'd rush her off to the next place he was interested in. Later, when the girls went out for lunch, she said she wanted to go back without C to enjoy it. T and I then scheduled some appointments to tour some venues. The plan was we'd go pick the favorite places then T and C would go back and decide. One week before our first appointment I get a text from T that said we booked our venue. Not gonna lie it stung me a bit but I was excited for them and I moved on. However two months ago we all attended a party at the

venue they had picked and now she hates it. Yesterday she tells me that the day they booked it. She wanted to call me to go look at it, but he kept telling her she was wasting time to just decide before it got booked. Now she regrets not asking me to go because I would have known to tell her to keep looking. Am I reading too much into this? How do I tell my best friend that I'll gladly be her maid of honor, but that I don't want to deal with her groom Zilla, who's turning the wedding into his wedding? To this day, when he makes dumb comments, I feel like yelling, you've only known her for two years, sit down. But I don't because I don't want her to resent me. Please help.

Maid of honor in distress. Okay, maid. So we've got a bride who's her best friend and a groom C who's like super into this wedding. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I would just say it's like you would deal with it the same way you would a bridezilla, which is you kind of just back away from the crazy, let them make people miserable, implode

here or there and just let it go. Let it go and don't get involved because people's emotions, as we've talked about before, are so heightened during the wedding process. I just wouldn't get fucking involved with that shit. Especially that our writer says that he's a great guy for all intents and purposes outside of this. So for me, I wouldn't even bother because he sounds slightly unstable with the whole wedding planning. That happens. Yeah. And he obviously is very particular. And yeah, I don't think he needs any I told you so's from our reader. Yeah. Sorry, from our writer. I like what you said about like, hey, there's always one person who goes wedding fucking crazy. And most of the time it's the bride and very seldom it's the groom. So what I

like about this story is that, you know, there's an ongoing conversation about gender binaries and what girls do and what boys do. And I kind of love that your friend is marrying a guy you said was a really great guy and their kids love him and everything's great, who voluntarily went to a bride or a wedding expo and then dominated the expo. Like, I'm super down with that. Totally. I like that you turned it around that way because it's nice to see someone involved. Not only involved, but like instead of watching the football game or being on a Sunday watching football all Sunday or whatever, he's like, oh, it's the wedding expo. Okay, I'm down. I'm going. Like, what time are you guys going? I want to go too. Like, oh, look at this display. Oh my God,

we have to look over here. I love this. And I think that like, I think that any conversation that is going to make fun of him only reinforces the divide between what interests belong to women and what interests belong to men. So I wonder if we can help shift Maid of Honor's perspective. Yes, I agree. Like instead of being annoyed with him, perhaps what might be helpful is, dude, your friend's marrying like a pretty cool guy who's dispensing with these so-called gender norms that have been reinforced that are kind of bullshit.

And maybe your friend who is not happy with the venue and is feeling like she's not a part of it. Maybe what needs to happen there is that her best friend needs to give her that perspective. Hey, I get it that you're not into the venue, but are you really not into the venue or are you feeling like you don't have a voice in this? And if you don't have a voice in this, then I encourage you to have a voice in it, but also think about how wonderful it is that he, his voice is so loud in this. Like, it's amazing. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. For sure to support your friend so that she can still have glimpses of her wedding on that night. But I also think sometimes we get so invested in like… because like, fuck, straight up, our writer has some hurt feelings

because she's not being heard. So I think you need to get over that aspect of it. But also kind of sometimes when things are going a little batshit cray, like sit back and kind of instead of being so emotionally involved and like pissy about it, like kind of find it entertaining. because this sounds very entertaining to me to see some groom dude who's just like all up in everyone's business. To me, that would be entertaining. Like I would get some good laughs out of that. So that's why I feel like if you kind of just shift the mind frame and kind of get a kick out of it, then, you know, no harm, no foul for anybody. Like how involved was Corey in your wedding? Zero. Are you surprised? He didn't care. And to be quite honest, I didn't

care about the planning of my wedding either. Like I really didn't care. Yeah. I'm just glad it came together. But no, he wasn't involved. Was he? I feel like I'm being mean. No, he wasn't very involved. Was Jacek involved? I feel like Jacek is very detail-oriented. I feel like there would be… he would have some opinion. He got the fuck out of my way. Like, I was one of those people who… like, I had schedules and agendas and… at the time, I was an event planner. That was part of my job. And so I approached it as I was producing an event. Yes. And since he's not a producer nor is he a producer of events. His opinion was not valued. But you gave him pretend opinion. There were things that he had to take care of and he took care of them beautifully.

He was assigned those tasks. I'm not surprised. So what I'm saying is that this is not the typical story that Maid of Honor is telling us. And I really love this story. And I think that you're right. I love that you said to her, like, be entertained by this, like a TV show. 100%. Like, imagine this was a TV show called Bridezilla or Groomzilla. Yes. This is on Slice. This is on fucking Bravo. Enjoy. Great. Let's hit up our next question. Dear Sasha and Lainey, do you answer dog questions? Currently, my boyfriend and I are pet-sitting my friend's dog while she is on vacation with

her husband for 10 days. We have a four-month-old puppy, Golden Retriever, so I thought it would be fine and they would play the whole time. I've never met her dog. She lives three hours away, but she assured me that her dog was great with other dogs. So the dogs do get along and play, but the only problem is that her dog is bad as hell. Like he weighs 70 pounds and is jumping all over us, our counters, our table, sofa, etc. This dog will jump up on us and bite our face, not in an aggressive way, just a really hyper-ass dog.

Oh my God, Bowie does that all the time. Okay, go on. Every time you try to pet him, he bites you, always biting my legs and arms, even jumped up and bit my ponytail. The puppy is hyper, but this dog takes it to the next level and is uncivilized. Am I being a judgy dog mom? Even my boyfriend doesn't like him, and he loves dogs. So my question is, should I tell my friend how bad her dog is and that she needs to go

to training, or should I just suck it up and say everything went fine and learn my lesson to never dog sit him again? I love how much Jacek loved this question. Tricky. And I really almost want to include Jacek because Jacek is sort of a dog sitter. Yeah. When I'm here, a lot of the noises that you may hear are the 10 dozen dogs that seem to be here on a regular basis.

Yeah. We basically operate. You do. You guys are like a running kennel. It's a long-term facility, though. Like, dogs only stay with us when they need to stay overnight for, like, three or four days. Yes.

Like, we don't take dogs for just an hour or two. Yeah. We'll only take them if you leave the country. Right. Or can't look after your dogs. Yeah. There are like four or five dogs that we routinely… They're on rotation.

Mm-hmm. And then are my… But like you have… I think if you're… And I'm a new dog person, so I don't really know. You guys are veteran dog people. So you have to have some sort of level of understanding, right? Because all dogs are different.

All dogs are hyper or different levels of excitement. And it's just because it's not the way your dog reacts, I feel like you should be some… Like you guys are somewhat accepting of other dog personalities. Correct? Yeah, but I also think where… I'll speak just for me. Yes.

Because Jacek has a thing where he always defends his dogs. Our dogs… You mean his dogs? Like, meaning… Our dogs. Your pack… Yeah. Your two specific dogs.

Our two specific… Well, we've, like, we have… Your beagles. Yeah. So, our dogs suck. See, he's, like, he's upset already. He's giving you stink eye right now. They're very…

They're not well behaved. Okay. Part of it is, like, their breed. So beagles are very scent motivated. And, like, if you read dog books, they'll say, like, beagles are hard to train because they're genetically programmed to just go with their nose. Like, it's… so when you are trying to train them, you're breaking their DNA. Okay.

Right? Like… and so there have been books written about how they're the most untrainable dogs just because their natural instincts are so strong. So I'll give you an example. We went over to a friend's place for Thanksgiving, and there was a big feast on the table. I baked these amazing biscuits, and at one point during the dinner, Elvis, our younger dog, and I can see this happening in slow motion, and everybody saw it. Like, everybody witnessed this.

Yes. He… and the table was higher than he was. He quite athletically, I will add, leapt onto the table, craned his neck, extended it to its maximum length, stole a biscuit out of the bowl, and then very quickly ran away and had it consumed like within two seconds. That is a major, major dog no-no. Right. It's the, maybe some, like, beyond biting, jumping up on a table and stealing food is

the most shameful thing for a dog owner. We were at someone else's home, it was a Thanksgiving and a birthday celebration, and this is what my dick face of a dog did. Dick face move, but probably not one whereby your friends who invited you over would disinvite you the next time. Well, no, but we were leaving in two hours. Like, you know… Did they say anything?

Was there any passive, like, passive-aggressive remarks? People laugh, but you know, like, you know, I'm going to eat shit for that forever because those friends are going to be like, look at you criticizing people's kids all the time and your fucking dog can't… Isn't it great? Exactly. Yeah. So, anyway, my point is, is that I have the dogs that I don't like sending to other

people because they're so bad. You're aware of their bad behavior. Here's my question to the person who's written in. Why aren't you, like, yes, the dog is jumping up all the time and biting and whatever, but what are you doing? Are you disciplining? Because that's where I say, the minute I send my dog to somebody else's place and, like, he's misbehaving and stealing food and doing whatever, I'm expecting those

people to train or to, like, admonish my dog. Right. I don't want my dog beaten, but I'm expecting them to be like, no. Yeah, but in four days of taking care of a dog, you're not going to train it to be, like a polite, chill dog, puppy, whatever this dog is. Like, I don't know how old it is. But, you know what I mean? For days, the friend isn't going to be able to curb its issues. You can start. I mean, as you said at the beginning, we have a routine. We have a regular crew of dogs that comes and goes from this place. And those dogs understand that while they're here,

there are a certain set of rules. They know what dinner time is, when it's at. They know where dinner happens. They know the timing of walks. Like, dogs actually respond to structure and over time. Yeah. Well, for me, yes. And I agree with that. If she wanted to take this on as, like, a regular thing with her friend. But, like, the short answer for me is, like, just don't ever fucking take that dog in again. Like, I don't know if I would go through the effort to be like, your dog's a fucking asshole. It's also not welcome at my house again. I just think I would, next time that ask comes, make up something and not take care of the dog again. Depends on how close you are, though, with this friend. I mean, if you've never met her dog

before, maybe you're not that close. But like, you know, when we used to… Fiona, my best friend, it used to be that when we lived in Vancouver, Fiona dropped her dog off at our place every single day. So for seven years, Jacek raised Kona. Kona would come over at 7.30 and he'd go home at 5 o'clock every day, Monday to Friday, for years and years and years and years and years. And so, like, but Fiona's my best friend and Jacek would say to Fiona all the time, fuck, he was so whiny today. Fuck, he ate his own shit today or whatever.

He didn't… He doesn't eat his own shit. Your dog eats his own shit. Yeah. Or, fuck, he did this today. Oh, my God, he was so slow today. Like, he was so annoying today. Like, it was normal for Jacek to, you know, let Fiona know, like, all of Kona's shortcomings

As it was normal for Fiona when she was looking after my dogs to be like, your dog has something wrong with him. Right. He really smells today. That was when Marcus, one of our dogs, had like a skin condition. But yeah, like I don't know how close you are with your… If you're that close though, I do think it should be… I think if there is the possibility that this is going to come up quite often, like your

friend goes out of town quite often and needs this kind of daycare from you, then yes, I think of course you should have a conversation about the dog's behavior this time but if this is like a one-off fuck it just like yeah pack that shit up and just don't ever have that dog again i will say one note about judging dogs or judging your friend's dog parenting in some respect dogs are like kids like you know your kid might be really well behaved at your place and then go to grandma and grandpa's and go wild. And I don't think dogs are any different. Like, you know, they are, as I said earlier, they're creatures of habit. They love structure. So when you take them out of their regular zone, anxiety sets in and yeah, fear sets in and they do respond and

like they do act accordingly. They don't have that instinct, like that human instinct that we have, that when we're anxious, we recognize it, or some people do, and are able to like adjust our behavior accordingly, they behave according to how they feel. So this dog might have been like, fuck, where are my parents? This is not my house. Like, this is so weird for me. I don't know. And the jumping and the biting and the nipping probably has a lot to do with being away from

home. Okay. There you have it. So some sympathy there too. I have no excuses for my dogs though. They just steal food because they steal food. All right. That's it.

Thank you so much for listening and keep your questions coming to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And check us out on Google Play and iTunes and leave comments. And thank you for listening. We'll be back next week. Bye. Bye. Thanks for watching!