What's Your Drama - Hot Felon & How to Work with the Famous

Episode Date: July 26, 2017

Welcome back to Sasha Answers!Heads up 7 up - this will be the last podcast until mid August as I'm headed back home to soak up some more nature. So enjoy this sucker!On today's show: Who is Chloe Green and why is she dating Hot Felon, how to manage being a personal assistant to a famous person (tid bits about my assisting Tara Reid included) and wedding invite regret.Thanks for listening and keep your questions and comments coming to [e-mail]. And of course tweet us at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And leave your feedback on iTunes and Google Play.S.xo  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Lainey, and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers. What's up, Sash? Yo, how are you? I'm good. I have something I need to talk to you about because I can't help myself, but like every time I see a headline about these people, I click. Oh, okay. Hot felon.

Yeah. So are rich people dumb sometimes? You're talking about the hot, sorry, hot felon, the model guy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So for those of you who don't know, hot felon was like the hot felon, Jeremy Meeks, this is his real name, but we'll call him hot felon.

And his mugshot came out like a couple of years ago and people were like, holy fuck, this hot felon is so hot. The most beautiful thing. And now he's a model and then he was married. The woman stuck with him when he was in jail. they have a kid but then uh like i don't know two weeks ago he was papped in i don't know the mediterranean or the south of france or italy or whatever on the yacht of chloe green or at least you know she was on the yacht with him who the fuck's chloe green so chloe green is the daughter

of philip green sir philip green who owns top shop oh right of course yeah right so he's a billionaire like kate moss like super rich people everybody knows him in the uk because top shop is such a big deal in the uk and so she is the daughter of that guy she used to date mark anthony which like jlo's mark anthony yeah and then okay yeah well i i understand that more than this guy because listen you are really you are the heiress to a billionaire and this guy who is a felon is now in love with you. So you're saying once a felon, always a felon. I'm saying, first of all, I think we could all call the fact that he got out of jail

and was like, oh, my boring wife. I'm a model now. Like, why would I want to hang out with my boring wife when I'm, you know, hanging out with Nicki Minaj in Cannes and like Diddy or whoever else was in Cannes and going to all these parties? Like, I think that that is 100% we could have all scripted that. Of course. Right?

What I can't script is if I'm Chloe Green, billionaire heiress, don't I see, like, don't I at least have some suspicions? Don't I think that, hey, is this guy using me for my money? I feel like when you're that loaded, you pretty much know everyone's using you for your money. So you're like, let me just get some D. Let me tap that fucking hot piece of felon ass and he'll probably use and abuse me like everybody always has because I have no problem why do I want to be used and abused I don't know I've always find like I find like really and this is a gross generalization but most um rich young

children that grow up in like you know daddy's walmart or daddy's top shop or daddy's fucking I don't know I want to say like safeway whatever rich daddy kids are usually that whole fucking horrible show of rich kids what was that show called um oh uh rich kids of instagram or whatever the fight they were something like that um no but like horrible they're all horrible no ej was amazing on that wasn't ej johnson on that yeah i thought he was insufferable and disgusting oh no i like i would kill for his closet okay yeah but would you kill to be his friend but i don't think that was the point the point was to look at their lifestyles and look at their clothes Exactly. Super, super like vacant, boring, nothing but material shit. Point being,

I'm judging this girl that I didn't know about two seconds ago. And she probably is just like one of those people who's so rich that she doesn't fucking give a shit. And that is like, those are like the Paris Hiltons. That's what I think about. That's what I think about these kind of heiresses too. That's, well, not giving a shit could cost her like a hundred million dollars. And what's that? Fucking pennies. Oh my God. That's nothing. That's probably like $5,000. No, I think to them it's something. Like even though it's not a huge dip for them, like they're still going to retain billionaire status if they have to write off a hundred million dollars to some felon. The point is rich people can be cheap too. Like they care about like

their fucking like, you know, $5 a year in there. I don't know, 20s? Yeah. She doesn't fucking give a shit about what's in her bank account. She could give two shits. Another thing for me, though, is this. Marc Anthony, sorry, probably a nice guy, not attractive. No. He is, like, really gross. So she probably was like, ding, ding, ding, I have a chance to be with this fucking fine

piece of ass. I, like, to me, it's so hard to separate logic from pussy or logic from orgasm. Oh, okay. So I'm like, if he's on top of me or he's, like, fucking banging her from behind, and At that moment, is she like, oh, he wants me. Like, he's looking at my… Is she not… There's no point in the banging where she's like…

No. Every stroke, he's thinking to himself, there's another 10 grand. There's another 10 grand. No. There's another 10 grand. Haven't you ever been used by somebody where you're like just so blinded? Not for my money. Not for your money.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Right? Like, I've never fucking accepted a dick thinking it could be my house. Yeah, fine. Fair. I guess I just, I don't know. I guess if I was, I just, again, I kind of am being a judgy cow thinking that she's probably like this empty, useless person and she's probably just paid him to date her.

Well, now I think that. You know that game more than ever. She was probably like, how can I get famous? Oh, this is easy. I'm going to pay this fucking felon to like come to Cannes with me and we'll get papped and now people will know my name. Because I sure as shit did not know who she was and who her fucking dad is. I don't know who she was.

And now TMZ's fucking, you know, probably put these pictures up and now everyone knows who the fuck she is. Fucking there. Done. That's so sad to me. Like that you are a billionaire heiress and like what you want is attention. And the only way you get it is with like a guy who's been to like prison for violent crimes.

Sad. I mean, more power to him. He's getting what he's getting. Absolutely. He's making up for the time he was inside. like you'll probably nobody's looking at him saying you're an idiot i'm like okay well wow but like i'm looking at her and i'm like really well i mean this is what's so interesting and this is i'm kind of going left field here but i wanted to talk about this because you know when

i guess you guys wrote about this about jay-z's new song and remember how they were all uh what is it 444 where they're all talking about their relationships and then you see chris rock talking about his infidelity. And it just, it kind of funnels into this of like when you are rich and when you are famous, you feel like you can do anything. You can cheat on your wife. You can, and a fucking, what's his face? Comedian, short guy.

Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart, perfect example, has everything in the entire world and is caught fucking with this hot young thing in a car. It's kind of all that stuff. You feel like you have entitlement, right? And this is the same thing with this. Well, that's the Chris Rock quote that's like the most famous quote, I think, one of his. Tell me exactly what it is.

So he says, he has said before, is a man is only as faithful as his options. That's so gross. But totally true. And so if you're talking about Kevin Hart, his options at 5 o'clock in the morning in Miami one night was to be in a car with, as you said, a young hot thing. P.S. I love that he's trying to deny it, though. Which is such a crock of shit, right? Like, I love that he's like, oh, yeah, I was in a car alone with a woman parked outside. 5 a.m.

At 5 a.m. Hashtag live life laugh or whatever that's stupid. What are you talking about? Yeah. Oh, it makes me so angry because I really love him and I knew he would fall. And his wife is not – like, she's carrying his child. Yeah. Yeah.

So, I mean – That's a load of shit though, right? Because how would you feel – because this is interesting, right? I think we always talk about, and you actually said it, like, nothing good happens after 2 a.m. Well, I stole that from Jim Rome. Jim Rome has always said it. Nothing good happens.

I think, I'm not, but yeah, nothing good happens after 2. How would you feel if you saw that picture with Jacek or that video with Jacek in a car and you know Jacek, right? Like Kevin Hart's wife probably thinks she knows Kevin Hart. Yeah. How would you feel if you saw that? You saw Jacek in a car at 5 a.m. talking. Okay. What would you say? Because I think the answer… Wait. I wouldn't say anything.

I know you wouldn't. Because I think the answer would be different. If Jacek saw you in a car with a guy at 5 a.m., I don't think he would… Anyways, you tell me. What would you… Tell me if that's any different. Because I just don't know if he would think anything bad. I think he'd be like, oh, Lainey's just fucking being who she is, chatting with someone in a car at 5 a.m. and shooting the shit. I don't think you would let him do that. I would be, at this point, if that happened, I would be Celine Dion at Rene Angelo's funeral. I would be like, commission me a beautiful morning dress from Givenchy, and I would be at Jacek's funeral greeting people and making sure that cameras were on me, documenting

my sorrow with a wind machine. Yes. But I would have killed him. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And I would try and get away with murder. Okay. Yeah. But do you think the flip would happen if he saw you? Because this is the thing. Nothing good happens at 2 a.m., but actually everything good happens after 2 a.m. And I feel like we've had some really fun nights where lots of fun shit happens at 5 a.m. Yes. So would he forgive you? Would he be okay with you? No. Oh, really? He's not stupid either. And I wouldn't ask him to be stupid. Like it

would be, that's the thing. I think that when you deny it, you are actually asking the other person to be stupid. Okay. Okay. Like what would I be doing? Shooting the shit. And first of all, you're outside a hotel. Like take it inside your like VIP presidential suite. Yeah. Number one, if that were me, I would be like, wait a minute, I have a VIP presidential suite. You have so many options. Yeah. To not be in a car. First of all, as you know, we're still kind of like low classy or I'm like, I'm low classy that way. If I'm in a presidential suite, which I'm sure that Kevin Hart was,

I'm like, I'm fucking in the presidential suite. Like I'm going up there and making the most of the fact that probably someone else was paying for the presidential suite. I'm like, I'm not going to do it in a car. Why would you? I understand that some sort of weird alchemy of horniness happens in cars.

Like Jacek and I have had our fair share of car horny. I get it. But if it was, that was because we were poor. Like, if you had a place to go, you would have gone somewhere. Yeah. Right. But it's one of those things rich people, like, famous people are probably so sick of being cooped up in their presidential suite that they want to hang out with the plebs

of the world in a car. I'm telling you right now, like, even by God's great mercy, if that ever happened and I had Kevin Hart levels of access to presidential suites, I would never be tired of room service and presidential suites. Amen. Like, and someone coming and cleaning up your fucking shit once a day. Of course, that's all great. And making your bed.

Yeah, but he just wanted some fucking poontang, and that person was in a car. Why couldn't you get the fucking poontang in the extra, extra king-size bed in the presidential suite? Hashtag live life laugh. Like, you can have, there's temperature control, there's, like, the best bathroom ever just steps away. Listen, I know all these things, but he obviously didn't do that. I don't get it. Like, anyway. But we do think he probably is a shady motherfucker, right?

Can we just say that? Oh, man is only as faithful as his options. Okay. Amen. All right. Want to get to some questions? Yes. Okay.

Hi, Sasha. Do you mind if I ask some professional advice? I'm interviewing to become the assistant to a person in the public eye. The person is very successful but not yet famous. My person will be campaigning heavily over the next 12… Sorry. My person will be campaigning heavily over the next 12 months, TV, radio, and performing internationally meaning lots of travel for me as well my question is i have no idea how much people

get paid for this work in this entertainment sector and i have a solid background doing this type of work in the corporate world and i'm confident in my ability but the entertainment world is new to me i think i remember you saying you were assistant to an actress before can you give me any insight into what this was like am i getting myself into devil's where am i getting myself into a devil wears prada situation thanks nyc this is so interesting on so many levels I want to know who this person is. I know. This is like a great blind item that I feel like I need you to tap into.

Investigate? Oh, my God. What would it be? I don't know. Person is successful but not yet famous and is going on a heavy campaign 12 months of TV, radio, and performing internationally. Anyway, this is so interesting. This is – yeah.

Hmm. Okay. So, yeah, you've been a PA to a pseudo kind of D-list now. Super D-list. Celebrity. Was D-list then. It was fantastic. Well, I mean, that was – when was that?

Just to refresh everyone's memory, Sasha was Tara Reid's personal assistant for the movie of Alone in the Dark, shooting in Vancouver, British Columbia. Wait, what year was that? I don't know. I feel like I've blocked out a lot of that out of my head. Can I just look it up? because I want to see

like at what point of Tara Reid's like I feel like it was like 2000 I actually have no idea. Christian Slater was in the movie. I feel like it was 2002 or 2003 or 4 because Oh, this is the Ben Affleck thing.

Yeah, because he was with J-Lo until 2003. So, I mean, Tara Reid wasn't that bullshit then. She was at best C. At best of C. She was – I feel like she could have still gotten into any party she wanted to go to. Okay.

I mean, I know you fucking hate her. She hadn't butchered her body at that point. So you're right. She wasn't the laughingstock that she was after. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Like, you have to remember – okay, so let me just say – what is it? Alone in the Dark?

Yes. Okay, Alone in the Dark, 2005. So they would have been shooting 2004. Yeah, okay. Okay, so I was hired to be her friend. Literally, quote unquote, the job description that I got was, can you just be her friend on set? And I was like, yeah, I'm doing nothing with my life.

Of course I can be someone's friend. Just for perspective, American Pie 2 came out in 2001 and then she was in Van Wilder party liaison with, I believe that's Ryan Reynolds. That's the junk that I asked him out. Right. That was 2002. So we're talking 2004. That's two years later.

No, she was still, like, I mean, not Angelina Jolie, but she was not the, like, the scuzz that she is now. Fair. Yeah. So I would, I think you have to be a certain type of person to be a personal assistant. Just, like, that bare minimum. You also have to be a really special person to be the personal assistant of a celebrity. I mean, I only got a taste of it and it was fucking horrible.

I hated it. Mostly because I feel like I need a personal assistant. So you can't be that type of person who needs to kowtow to somebody, you know, when in your nature you feel like other people should kowtow to you. You know what I mean? Like, it was hard for me to eat the kind of tasks that I had to do. But for the most part, it was pretty simple. Like, I would, like, smoke in her fucking trailer with her.

I would, like, maybe sometimes get her her lunch. I would take all of her phone calls from her boyfriend. The fucking greatest part was J.C. Chazet from NSYNC calling her from a private plane. And I get, like, I got to see that, which was awesome. But she was just like, they're, oh, celebrities are so gross. They really, really are just so gross. I don't really have much else to say other than, yeah, like it was, it was a really horrible experience.

I remember this one time she, so it was Christian Slater was on set too and it was his birthday. I don't know how fucking old he was. She was like, I need you to get me a Swarovski crystal bear for him. Because I don't know why, like who the fuck wants a Swarovski crystal bear? But Christian Slater had to have that for his birthday. So she made me go get it. And I was asking her on set because, again, like, I've never been to a Swarovski crystal fucking store.

Why would I? I'm, like, fucking 19 in my prime. I'm not fucking looking for crystals. I am now. But not then. And I remember asking on set someone. I was like, oh, do you guys know where the Swarovski crystal store is? And she fucking heard me from I don't know where and yelled at me in front of everyone

and was like, this is your job. Don't ask people for directions. Like, you figure this out. And I was like, are you? It was so weird and crazy and like super bipolar and I remember just feeling horrible and getting in this fucking van, like the production van to go to like the mall and just crying and being so upset and it was all like that. It was always up and down with her.

But yeah, like I got to see like her vagina lots and the best, also the best part was she got, because I love food. Why were you seeing her vagina a lot? Always. I don't know. She would get free clothes and, like, she would always just strip. Change in front of you? Okay.

Which was also… That's normal, though. We knew each other for a day. Two days, three days, four days. Like, I don't need to see your vagina. I don't know. I get naked in front of people all the time. As you know.

Okay, that's true. Anyway, enough about Tara Reid. But basically, I just think you have to really be thick-skinned to be around a celebrity because they will treat you like shit most of the time. I mean, it depends on which celebrity, but yeah. Like, the majority of celebrities. I think that it might be super fun to be, like, I feel like it would be super fun to be Beyonce's personal assistant.

Do you? Oh, yeah. Why? Come on now. I think that, I think that number one… It would be, everything would have to be so fucking perfect. You couldn't fucking ever have an error. I'm good with that.

Okay. Like, I like a work challenge. Okay. But also, I think that there's hierarchy. Like I think that Beyonce's personal assistant is probably more powerful than 85% of the people in, it's Beyonce. So anyone who has direct access to her means that she's like, she's the one who's saying, hey, can you bring me the fucking pasta that has just been freshly made from Italy and

I put it on a plane and if it's not good enough, I'm going to be calling and yelling. Like horrible. That's like my worst nightmare. So to me, like when you are Beyonce's PA, what you request is everybody understanding it's for Beyonce, so everybody's jumping. Automatically, your life is going to be that much, like things are going to be flowing that much easier for you. So there's that.

So it depends on who it is. And obviously, it depends on like the kindness level of the person. Well, the only pro here is that this person is not yet phased by their own celebrity, right? So they're at the most down to earth they could possibly be in this moment, right? They're absorbing all the gratitude, the fame, all that kind of stuff. So they're probably super appreciative and will definitely say their pleases and thank yous to you. Yeah. Until it gets to their head and then you're fucked.

Then that's when you need to fucking bounce. Like, wouldn't you want to be Rihanna's personal assistant? I want to be Rihanna's friend. I don't want to be – because I'm not built to be a personal assistant. Because at the end of the day, you're a servant of sorts, right? You're doing their laundry or their dry cleaning. You're picking up their food. You're making sure that they're – I don't know. You're just doing bullshit stuff. I don't thrive off that. That actually makes me feel super inferior. That might be my own fucking hangups. I'm not – I don't take care of people well. Right. That is the truth. Like when you are a PA to any celebrity, you have to

understand that you are going to be a babysitter. Yes. Sometimes you're a babysitter, sometimes you're a servant, sometimes you're a manager, but you're not going to actually get the respect of a manager. So 100% ego has to be checked at the door. I think though, for people like Rihanna, and like for a while, like Jennifer Lawrence, her personal assistant was a childhood friend. A lot of these people actually hire people they trust and know to be their personal assistants because their level of fame and their reality is so crazy that they want someone who they know from childhood or they know very well to be around them to keep them grounded or at least to like not sell them out. Of course. So I imagine that in that situation, the Jennifer Lawrence personal assistant and the Rihanna personal assistant probably don't have it that bad.

Right. Because you grew up with them. In your case, you're meeting this person for the first time. So your first interaction, if you get this job with this person, is 100% from the get going to be a, like, boss and employee relationship. Yes. And maybe if they're really nice, like, let's talk about the pros first. Maybe if they're a nice, sane, rational person who's been raised well and who has good morals,

then they'll treat you with kindness and respect and you'll be able to have a good time and you're going to travel the world. You'll see some crazy shit. You'll have experiences like nobody's. You will be the best person to ever have at a dinner party because you will have some stories. You will see the world in a way that very few people get to see. You'll have backstage access Yes. And that is, you know, the 1%. Like nobody gets to have those experiences. And I don't want to minimize that. That's really great. But the flip side is what you give up for that. And that you will… and time will only tell, right? Like, of course, take this adventure, fuck, juice it for everything it is. But also, yeah, remain aware that things

can get gnarly down the line, right? Yeah. And you just have to have, you just have to prepare yourself for that. Well, you know, if you want actual research, I have some assignments for you. Okay, good. So if you haven't seen it before, watch Madonna's Truth or Dare, which is an old school great because she is documented during her Blonde Ambition tour and her personal assistant, Melissa shows up a lot and Melissa has to, as she, as Madonna herself says, buy her condoms,

fold her underwear, do all that kind of shit. And then at one point in the film, Madonna actually throws, I can't remember, I haven't seen in a couple of years, but like she gives a toast at one point, do you remember? And she toasts Melissa and she, it's Melissa's birthday actually. And she toasts Melissa and she reads this cheesy poem that she's written to Melissa. And she's like, thank you for doing this. Thank you for doing that. You pick up my shit.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Right? Remember that? My snotty tissues and stuff like that. That's right. Yeah. So that's good research to just kind of see what it's like a little bit. Another thing is, do you remember like last year Mariah Carey's reality show?

Yes. Oh. So she had a personal assistant and the personal assistant got some air time too because either she was fucking up and she was really stressed out and she didn't know if she wanted to keep her job and she almost got fired and maybe she did get fired. Like that you want to look at because like this is going to swing you like the most extreme cases when you're working with someone like fucking Mimi, this is what it's going to look like.

And then also read Zadie Smith's recent novel Swing Time. So in the novel, Zadie Smith's character plays a personal assistant to like a Madonna slash Angelina Jolie type character. And so you see the mood swings. And Zadie has a little bit of show business experience. Like she wrote, I think that you would really like this book because it kind of happens in the 90s and she used to work or this character used to work at like an MTV kind of place. And so when she talks about the tape decks and like reviewing tapes and going to work

at a certain place and getting like, you know, invitations to all these openings and parties, that was really like our life back then, right? And so she becomes a PA to a Madonna slash Angelina Jolie kind of person. Right. And you see the evolution of what happens to a star when a star goes from here to there. Yeah. So that's some research. But I mean, my research for you too would be, and this is honestly how I felt when I

was Terry's assistant, like look up Stockholm syndrome because I really think there was an aspect of that too, right? Like you get sucked into this kind of like inferior dominating relationship and you kind of, you just want to always kind of step back and figure out who you are in these times because the world of celebrity can be so like full of wonder and fucking pizzazz and all this kind of stuff. You also just want to create boundaries with this person too, right? Like don't get sucked up into their spotlight as well because then you'll be doing really

wacky shit sometimes. He or she, whoever our writer is, our letter writer, he or she may have some experience, though. Like, you're coming from the corporate world, so I'm assuming you're working with some high-rolling CEOs. Demanding fucking people, yeah. So I wouldn't say that you're completely inexperienced, because those people, and she's probably seen, like, the abject dickishness of these fucking, I'm imagining when she's

saying corporate, I'm imagining, like… Wolf of Wall Street shit. Wolf of Wall Street. So I feel like, you know, you've seen personalities, like dick faces. The only difference is think of like the worst qualities that you've seen in those CEOs that you may have worked for, but then combine that with fame. That is like the X factor. And then fame and attention can fucking warp your head. Anyway, but good luck in the job. Good luck. Take the job so you can tell us what it's like. As for money, I don't have much to say because I'm – if it's – ask for top dollar.

Basically, always ask for top dollar. Well, as for money, and here's where it's interesting, I think that what a lot of – you know, I think that if you find yourself in a situation where they try to equate life experience and traveling with actual dollar signs and what goes into your bank account, you need to be aware of that. Don't let them be like, well, we're only paying you this much, but remember, we'll be covering your travel and you will never have to pay for food because you probably won't like, and you'll never, and you'll get so much free shit.

Fuck that. That can't supplement your. This is savings. Like this is about your future because there's only like, nobody does this forever. So let's say that you take this on for three to five years. Your objective right now is in that three to five years, how much you can fucking squirrel away in your money cave. So beware of that.

Do not let them offer the bonuses of travel, air miles. And like free food and like buffets at the fucking arena. No. Benefits. And you want your benefits taken care of still. you want, make sure that you get a good salary that helps you save and pay for the things you need to pay for. And on top of that, you need to negotiate vacation and it needs to be in writing because their schedules are so unpredictable, like they're touring and whatever. And they might say

to you, well, we can't say that you get Christmas off every year because what if your client or your boss has to tour during December? I get that. And you'll probably say like, yeah, I'll forego my Christmas or like I'll forego my holiday, but then like will you ever get a holiday? It's so true. Get that fucking shit in writing. Yeah, that's good advice. Good luck. Okay.

Next question. Hi, Lainey and Sasha. I am getting married next year and I'm very conflicted if I should invite my father and his wife. To give you a little bit of a backstory, I haven't talked to my dad in about five years. He left my family when I was five and we had a falling out when I was in my early 20s. He hasn't made an effort to call me or message me and I know that I'm better off without his influence.

My concern is that I might regret it if I don't have him at my wedding. My fiance supports me either way, but my mom does not want him to be invited. Do you think I'm being a complete asshole for not inviting him? Will it be something I'll always regret? Please let me know. Sincerely, Confused. I feel like nowadays weddings are less hoity-toity, less rules and regulations are applied to it. I feel like you can do whatever the fuck you want to now.

Whatever feels good, do. You don't want to fucking dance with, you know, the dance with your father doesn't need to happen. Him walking you down the aisle doesn't need to happen. Like none of those traditions really hold, I feel like, anymore. And so I don't think you should be, I don't think you should be beholden by those. And I think if you haven't really talked to him in five years, I think that's more awkward to invite him.

I feel like that will make your day way more stressful, way more anxiety ridden. So I would, no. I mean, I think maybe the compromise could be you could like invite him to like the pre-barbecue or the pre-dinner before the reception. What's that called? A rehearsal dinner. A rehearsal dinner or something like that if you wanted to. But I would pass on the actual invite to the event. I agree.

I think that like the worry is will I regret it? And I think that if we ask ourselves that question all the time with anything like, should I buy this? Will I regret it? Like, should I go work out today? will I regret it? Like, I don't think anyone would get anywhere. That's true. Right? So I know this is obviously a bigger deal than going to the gym and buying something. But if it really means a lot to you, I would say what's stopping you from, when's the wedding? Next year. Okay. You've a lot of time. So if the wedding isn't for another, what are we, in July, so the wedding is at least six

months away, and I'm going to assume maybe a year away since most weddings happen in the summer, what's stopping you from reaching out and being like, hey, dad, hope you're well. I'm going to be getting married next year. Just wanted to let you know. He's kind and wonderful. I love him. I'm very happy.

And leave it at that and then see if he says, I've missed you. can I meet the fellow who's going to be your husband or wife? And can we get together? And then maybe if that works out, then you have a dinner or a brunch or a coffee first. Like, I don't think you have to go from, you've just been engaged to he needs to be invited to the wedding. There's a lot of steps in between. Yeah. Can we, can we look at the smaller steps? Yeah, that's a good, that's good. Because it's true. Like, who knows what next year really means. It could be January, you're right, and it could be next August. But I would, I would, yeah, of course, if you, if you're interested in creating a dialogue and a relationship with him one day, of course, let him know that you're engaged, all that kind of stuff. But I wouldn't go into like writing an invite right now. I would see how that goes and see if there is even a relationship that you could develop. If everything, you know, works out and you guys are tight again, sure, of course, revisit

this and invite him later. But right now it just seems like a little bit aggressive to be thinking about an invitation. Yeah. I don't think you need to jump the gun on this. I think that you look at the smaller steps. I'm particularly sensitive to this right now because I'm lucky. I had a dad who threw down everything for me. And so I couldn't imagine not having my dad at the wedding and I love him so much, but

I also have a lot of friends who have bullshit parents, mother, father, both, whatever. And for them, it's been a source, like the foundational source of all their problems. You know, I have a particular friend who is an addict and everything about his addiction stems from abandonment to all the way back to when he was a child and he, the dad left home and then the dad was just a piece of shit his whole life. Up until recently when the dad found out that, you know, this friend was struggling with addiction was like, I have my own problems. I can't deal with you right now. So when I hear about these stories, first of all, it makes me feel so privileged and lucky that I happen to have a parent, two parents who were not

complete jerks. So you clearly, the person who's written our letter, has issues with a father. And I don't want to negate that. Rather than thinking about whether or not you're going to regret it, think about the fact that this person has hurt you. Yes. Honor your own hurt. This is a day that should be only about your happiness and the people who are there should

only make you happy. So don't struggle with that. I would not even allow that to be something that you consider, regret, whatever. It's such a sacrifice, an unnecessary sacrifice. Exactly. So if you want to do the small steps, if you don't want to, don't fucking invite him. Totally. And you have our full support. And if you regret it later, we'll be there to be like, or lose our email. You know, if you regret it later, write us again

and we'll be the ones to be like, fuck that. Your regret is stupid. Yeah, it's true. Did you have the best day? Great. Like, amazing.

Yeah, I agree. So, congratulations on your wedding, by the way. Yes. Keep us posted. And enjoy it. And yeah.

All right. Keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And check us out on Google Play and iTunes. Leave your comments.

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