What's Your Drama - I Love My Ex's Brother

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

Welcome back! I'm happy to announce that our audio issue from last week has been resolved, so now you can hear all our unprofessional advice giving loud and clear.Our first drama is some savagery. Let's say she has a particular "type" of guy she's interested in and this guy she's with isn't cutting it. Should she give it a go even if it's not her thing?Then it's onto our next letter-writer who is having trouble dealing with some past triggers during quarantine. Take a listen and if you have any advice for "C" and I'll happily pass it along to her.Finally, we end on a scenario that will definitely be going into Lainey's spank bank. Our writer is VERY into her ex's VERY HOT brother. Should she go for it? Ummmm obviously you know our answer. We are that shallow. We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Okay. Ready? Okay. Yes. Hi, Sajan Lainey. I don't know how to sleep with a man. Shit, girl. She goes right in. While every other channel is fighting for your customer's attention, podcasts are where they've already given it. No one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes. They choose to be here. They trust the voice in their ears. And when that voice talks about your brand, it doesn't sound like advertising. It sounds like a recommendation from a friend. Acast gives you that trust at scale, digital precision, post-read authenticity, and performance data that proves it worked. Don't fight for attention. Buy it with Acast.

Learn more by visiting Acast.com slash advertise. oh want to know what i've learned today or in the last week what um let me try this right now hold on i feel like you're gonna be a dick but because you're sometimes not supportive in my endeavors to learn cantonese stand by okay hold on hold on okay oh but you're probably gonna boot me in the cluster for your sister what does that mean that's pretty good

where's the bathroom yeah hold on more hold on was that a recording or did you okay you didn't get what

that was yeah you said yeah hold on which is what's that do you like it yeah yeah standby

how are you learning this hold on i want to give me a good one oh i'm really good at yeah okay what what yeah uh you should say ah at the end of that but yeah well no no that's when i get comfortable right now okay sorry no you don't like excuse me yeah yeah see i'm learning learning phrases how are you learning? A fucking shitty app. Nobody in like, everyone wants to learn Mandarin. No one wants to learn Cantonese. So trying to find like a, one of those like online. Anyway, that's it. That's

what I learned today. I want to learn Mandarin, but yeah. Okay. Anyway, sorry. Let's start this podcast. What are we talking about? Yes. Go. Okay. So I, I mean, I don't find celebrity pregnancies exciting. But no, this one was maybe it's because we're all in lockdown. And I don't know. No. You know what? I'm just going to say it is because these two are just so fucking pretty. Yes. One hundred percent. And just so fucking pretty. But yeah, Gigi and Zayn are pregnant or Gigi is pregnant and she and Zayn are expecting. Yes. Which is kind of came out of nowhere. I know that we knew that they were back together, but they have been on the DL and now she's 20 weeks pregnant, which I actually have no idea what that means. 20 weeks is four, eight, 12. What is that?

Almost four months. Wow. Do I have to do math right now? Wait, 20 divided by four is five. Five months pregnant. So that is second trimester, right? Okay. So she is in it. She's in it to win it at this point. Um, so, so yeah, Gigi and Zane are having a baby anyway. Yes. So my interest in it, well, I'm obsessed with them because I'm obsessed with looking at them. They are beautiful. That video, I couldn't stop watching it because I was like, how is how the human brain likes pretty things. And my human brain liked that. I care very little about baby news and pregnancies, as you just said um I don't want to take the attention away from uh Gigi and Zayn but have you seen Shay Mitchell and Matt Babel's baby I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life

like it's shocking and I was like oh I don't sorry I you know they're both Canadian and we have them near and dear to our heart but I don't really care about them nor do I follow them but I saw a picture of their baby and I was like oh all you want to like I was transfixed on how beautiful this kid is so i feel like i will be the same way when fucking gg pops out like a supermodel like you know i used to have a theory that you know my theory like that you know beautiful plus beautiful what is equals ugly and yeah but i i feel like gg and zane's baby is first of all gg and zane together zane is gorgeous listen not to say all mixed children are beautiful because i'm mixed but mixed children you can do no wrong you can mix a whole batch of lots of cultures and

they all turn out pretty spectacular um yes you are biracial sasha and uh you are stunning um that's not where i was going i was just saying mixed babies typically defy the hot plus hot equals ugly but and i fucking love gg's whole look like i i fucking love gg's face i love gg's everything i and then them together i can't any and also well also i'm perverted so i also think that like whatever they do to make the baby works for me too oh yeah um like again that pillow talk video was you didn't hate it no oh my god i love that song i love i love those i love looking at gg's face again yes i really try to stay clear from like obsessing over really beautiful people but you can't with, with her. She is just, and she's fucking nice and she's athletic and she is,

um, she's seemingly one of the good ones. Seemingly one of the good ones. Very nice. She's so nice. Yeah. Um, and also I think that this is one of those like love stories where, you know, they were together and everybody's like, oh my God, mind blown. This is like the cutest, hottest couple. And then they broke up and then they got back together and then they got, Wait, then they broke up again, right? Yeah. Then they broke up again. And they got back together, what, like three months ago or so?

Mm-hmm. And now they're having a baby. Anyway. Oh, I wonder if that would be interesting to know if they got back together because they had like a… Like one night. A one night. And they were like, uh-oh, well, we might as well do that because I would like to know the time frame of that. Gossip brain, what is the time frame?

Did they get together three months ago, which means she would have been pregnant before they officially got back together? No, it was around, it was around Christmas, like the holidays, because I remember his mom was like making that recipe or something. Yeah, yeah. Or she was, no, she was making, she was cooking a recipe from his mom. You're right. Yeah. So that is what, around the time, like, yeah, they would have gotten pregnant around the

holidays. Right. So. Pre-coronavirus. Holiday sex. Yeah. Yeah. Holiday sex and when the world was right.

Yeah. So, so probably like, yeah, holiday sex makes a, I know this because that's when I was born. I was born in September, September, the end of September. And that's like Christmas sex makes a September, end of September baby. Oh, okay. So there you go. We're like when we're out of this, they could have the same birthday as me. And Serena Williams.

Well, fingers crossed. Oh, you're a Serena Williams. when Serena Williams is my birthday twin and it's like the best birthday twin to have do you know that my um birthday twin uh is Elvis by day okay so we're not birthday twins but we're like birthday almost twins and I know that's not okay that's nothing fine I just wanted to meet you somewhere and also talk about Elvis because I know you love Elvis who has January 3rd as a birthday yes who I don't know people though for sure but you haven't looked into which I these are things I don't care about but can I just look it up yes okay yeah I feel like there's

some um somebody notable um because yeah I that's my challenge I always challenge people beat Serena Williams as my birthday twin and nobody can bring it I mean I guess Beyonce If your birthday is like September 4th. Yes, I think that would trump Serena. But go, give me mine. It's close. And you know, I, anyway. Okay, here we go.

Famous people born January 3rd. Oh no, Sashie. Oh, eat shit. Who? Like Ray Roboto. No, just the first photo that came up was not good. I'm not even going to tell you. It's going to break your heart.

Oh, you know what? You're going to love this. You're going to love this. Who? You are going to love this. Greta Thunberg. There you go. I think she wasn't the first photo that pulled up, but then as I scrolled, I found and then.

No, wait, before before you shit and poo poo on my birthday, I think I win for having a teenage world leader, savior, savior of our earth. I think that beats fucking Serena Williams. OK, who's the shitty one on my birthday? No, I'm not going to tell you. It's going to ruin it for you. No, no, do it. No. You know what I will tell you is you are a member of Blackpink.

Not our favorite, like, not our favorite member. Because I think we both like Lisa the most, right? Or Jenny. Go back to the shitty person. Is it, like, Stalin or something horrible? Stalin. Oh. I'll just show you on camera so that we don't have to say it out loud.

Okay? Okay. Oh, God. It's Mel Gibson. That's actually Stalin. Yes. A.K.A. Stalin. Fuck.

Well, with the good comes the bad. No, Greta Thunberg. Yes. Yes. I'm happy with that. I'm sweating like a motherfucker. Okay. Should we get started on our questions for this week?

Yes. You're reading. And let's, can I just also say. Wait, let me just take a breath and a sniffle and a vape. And a drink. Oh my God. This is my favorite. If I could be in the same vicinity as you right now would be great. I love a tipsy lady. Okay, but before we start, I do want to say that we apologize for the audio last week.

It was pretty fucking garbage. So bear with us. We really tried to make this week better. So fingers crossed. All right. Why do you like this right now? I really do wish we were together right now. I know. Okay. Ready? Okay. Yes. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I don't know how to sleep with a man. Shit girl. She goes right in. I'm sorry. All right. All right. All right. I need to pull it together. Wow. This is, this is why I don't read these ahead of time because I want my reaction to be pure. Yes. Okay. Hi, Sasha Laney. I don't know how to sleep with a man with no muscle. I sound horribly shallow and I want to change, but I don't know if it's even possible to change. I've been talking to this guy for a couple of months now and he's great. He's talkative,

has great energy and is exactly my type face wise. He continuously sends me shirtless pics, but I'm repulsed. I don't like the type of chest hair he has and I really don't like that he has no muscles on his abs or arms. I don't know if I'm repulsed because I've never slept with a guy with no muscle or if it just means he's not 100% my type. This isn't the first time this has happened. A while back, I met another guy with a great face and personality, but his naked body wasn't toned.

It turned me off so hard that I faked having stomach cramps when he was about to slip on the condom. I backed out and I'm scared if I proceed with this new guy that the same will happen. Is there a way I can change or will I have to ghost him like the previous guy? okay i need to understand like what's no muscle like just kind of like lanky and skinny that's what i'm gonna guess it's not like he was born without muscle mass so it's probably just someone she keeps on saying toned so it's obviously someone who is not like your quintessential fit model right um what what's your what's your take no you go first yeah fuck of course i was

supposed to go first on this one look what was her name do we know what her name is okay um I think there comes a time where you have to um try something different right like you're single you've gone through a whole bunch of people maybe um they haven't worked out for a certain reason but we we tend to rely a lot on physical appearance and they end up being a lot of it ends up being a lot of make it or break it right like oh like it's like a Seinfeld it's like oh I didn't like the person's hands so I just like couldn't be with them and I understand it to a certain extent because we do all have types we're attracted to what we're attracted to but if the guy's got a good face and he's nice um and you haven't ever been with someone who is like

has very limited muscle mass I feel like you should at least give it a go she hasn't done anything with him yet right the last guy she ditched because she just like was not attracted to him but she hasn't been with this guy in any sexual way so far right no she hasn't so i keep saying she's repulsed repulse is a really hardcore word which makes me which which makes me question our writer more than the guy that she is talking about i'm sort of like why are you so like you shouldn't be repulsed by somebody who doesn't have, quote unquote, a perfect body. That just sort of that kind of signals some red flags to me. And our writer also says that she doesn't want to be like this. So I just feel like she has some like deep rooted physical appearance issues

that I feel like she might want to work with. And this would be the perfect example or perfect time to explore that, to explore why those feelings are coming up and maybe give somebody a chance. Well, I think that or am I being too sweet and cute about it? Like, do you just or do you just like ditch people and go to the next one if they aren't your physical type? I'm really I mean, we've said before, you like what you like, right? So what cranks you, what what cranks you is what cranks you. And yet, like, I guess I'm stumbling on this because I'm not the kind of person who likes muscled people like I'm not like I know that. What? Who is the I was going to say John Cena or is that his name?

Like I would who John Cena? Yeah. John Cena is the right. Would you be repulsed by that, though? Let's say John Cena had Yassik's face, but had his body, which is like incredibly muscular, which isn't your thing, which is definitely not my thing. wouldn't you still be curious enough to give it a go or would you be like oh my god I will say it almost repulses me like yeah that's where I'm going with this you know there are you know when you watch I don't know some shit like um the typical scene from like a strip like a muscle show yeah yeah yeah and the women are going fucking crazy over yes like the beefcake that doesn't do it for me at all. Like I, I don't like a big chest. I'd rather a dude have like a flat

chest. Okay. That, so for instance, people, yeah. So John Cena types or even Chris Hemsworth. Not even my thing. You couldn't do a Chris. Okay. I could do a fucking, of course I could do a Chris Hemsworth, but I'm saying that like, if I had to create the ideal body type, male body type for me, it wouldn't be Chris Hemsworth's body. And everybody looks to Chris Hemsworth's body as the idea. Yeah, yeah. No. Okay.

Again, but that's… I like lean and lanky. Okay. I hope you like that. Yasik, who's going to be listening to this, we've called you lean and lanky. Yasik to me has, like, a perfect frame. Yeah. Like, he's not…

He has muscle. So, I will say that if I were… You know what this writer is repulsed by? I'm attracted to. For instance, the first thing, the first visual who popped in my mind, the way she described him, is Timothee Chalamet. I'm all about Timothee Chalamet, right? The face is there. No, no, I'm saying no.

He has no muscle. Lainey, he doesn't even have a quad. He is very, very slim. I'm all about that. And I say that I, every guy, not every guy, but like two of my long-term relationships have been with men who have skinnier legs than me. Currently, my husband has legs I would die for. I, I don't, that's not what I would typically choose.

That's what I ended up with. There you go. My, so my point being to our reader is like, and especially now there's so many garbage people out there on the dating scene that sure, I guess you could find the ideal face and body to match but how about if their personality sucks and that's just what I go back to if you're looking for something long term then you kind of have to trial some other things that are out of your um out of your zone sometimes and I think that's what I want to encourage a writer a she doesn't like that she's being such like a like a judgy bitch about this guy and she's

single and he's nice and has a nice face like why not at least give it a go I will say and like go give it a go and and she and she also pulled the plug on the last dude who she was repulsed by their body type listen i'm not saying like i'm not forcing her into sex i'm just saying at least give it a go what else do you have to lose you're already repulsed maybe you will be less repulsed after it and is that bad advice well no that's a great that's great advice because all the guys that she's ever slept with are muscly muscly and clearly it didn't work out girl exactly so exactly um and yet I mean if she's about to puke like she's using really strong language listen I think that's a little bit over the top even if I was next if I was like having

to get down with timothy chalamet and that is not that is as close as to repulsed as i would get i would not want to like i wouldn't vomit i wouldn't fucking tap out of the like the potential sex i would be like okay let's see how that goes oh my god that face alone exactly and this guy that she's dating has a good face yeah fuck i would if i had to choose what would you choose face over body i would always choose face i would always choose face yes yeah right yeah okay anyway do we i i so that's that's kind of my advice is just to um i mean let us know if we've missed something let us know about what's so grotesque about this body that maybe we're not understanding but our advice i think lady we are in agree we agree that she should give it a

go yes 100 i think we should open our minds to all different kinds of body types i agree while every other channel is fighting for your customers attention podcasts are where they've already given it no one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes they choose to be here they trust the voice in their ears and when that voice talks about your brand it doesn't sound like advertising it sounds like a recommendation from a friend acast gives you that trust at scale digital precision post-read authenticity and performance data that proves it worked Don't fight for attention. Buy it with ACAST. Learn more by visiting ACAST.com slash advertise. Okay, next question. Hi, Sasha Laney. My question is about setting boundaries around triggering

discussions. After many, many years of living with an eating disorder, I got some help and have been living in recovery ever since. Since the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, I've been struggling more than usual, stress, uncertainty, change in routine. I've reached out to my support system and even found some great new resources. It's been really difficult, but I'm taking it one day at a time and focusing on my successes. One of the biggest triggers for me has been all the talk about food, eating, and weight gain. I don't have any social media presence, so I've avoided a lot of the memes and whatever, but I do have some friends who bring it up over text and FaceTime, not in person. I usually ignore it and move on to something else. However, my co-workers,

most of whom are middle-aged women, will not stop talking about it. I've just muted the first 10 minutes of any conference call with them because I know they're just talking about food and weight. I know it's only going to get worse once we actually all have to work together in the same space again. I don't want to police anyone's conversations or invalidate people's genuine concerns, but I'm also not feeling strong enough to hear that shit. I also don't want anyone in my business. I'm a private person at work and I'm not close to my coworkers. There's so much misinformation about disordered eating out there and many of them are from the generation that normalized it. I don't want to be in the position of educating them. How do you guys recommend

bringing it up in a work setting in a way that doesn't draw too much attention to it? Is that possible? I've tried to say things like, let's all be thankful we have enough to eat because food scarcity is a real concern for a lot of people. But that usually turns into, I wish that was me, jokes. Do I just need to tell them it affects me and ask them to be more mindful? Thanks so much for any thoughts and advice. C. Okay, C. Well, this is a great question. This is a great question. And I imagine that, I think I just, yeah, I just read an article about how, um, in the lockdown during the pandemic, um, comparison culture is like even more pronounced than it had, like it was before, you know, before it was already a problem when you're seeing people

and their homes and their like, and their bodies and their lives on social media. And you're like, why don't I have that? And now it's almost worse because the only way to communicate with people is like Zoom or FaceTime or whatever, and you're seeing into people's homes. And more and more people are just spending their time on social media. Yeah. And like whatever they're showing you, if you're Zooming is the best state. Oh, well, for the most part, I mean, some people don't make their bed when they like do their thing, which I think was, but like Charlie Puth was really hilarious when he did that thing and his bed wasn't made. I was like, good for you. Right. Yeah. But it's usually the best corner of their home. Right. Um, even like for, so I've been shooting

our shows from home and my backdrop is just like my living room and whatever. Like I have black leather couches and, um, this gold coat that is my winter jacket. You've seen my winter jacket, which I have not taken off the hook. And there are people who are like, what an ugly jacket or what an ugly couch. And I'm like, okay, well, what am I supposed to say? Now there are these like um websites that rate celebrity stop yeah they they rate celebrity living rooms anyway not like listen we've rated people's outfits so um sure sure that's fair but i get it we're for civilians and this comparison culture it's it's getting really it's getting really hard and then when you're having conversations with colleagues who are constantly talking about food yeah and

you already have, um, and if this, you know, C already has a history with disordered eating, then of course, like how, how is she going to protect herself? Yeah. I mean, this is, I, I, I love this question because it really just reminds you that this is a hard time for so many people and for so many different reasons. And I think, um, I will get to our colleagues in a second, but I think that people just kind of are wrapped up in their own stresses and their own lives in isolation, that they're not actually thinking about how people are struggling and in the different ways that they are. And, um, disordered eating has obviously been in a lot of articles. I actually just read something, I think like two weeks ago, I don't

know, recently in time, they were talking about this. So I would encourage you to read that because in that article, um, there are, they link to a bunch of different sites and social media sites that are offering like free therapy for people with eating disorders and like outreach groups and stuff like that. And I know that C isn't on social media, but at least she could read this time article and the articles, there's tons of articles out there right now. And to find that support, because I think that is going to be the first line of defense is to know that other people are feeling the same way and getting that support right away, I think is going to be what's super crucial for her. But yeah, like I hear, I even feel bad about it, right? Like everyone's

talking about the COVID-15, like, you know, gaining that 15 pounds while we're all in isolation and everyone's posting their bread pictures and talking about working out or not working out. It's like, it's a little bit overwhelming, right? And not only is this the comparison culture, it's also feels like a lot of pressure that lots of people will be talking about, like, what are you doing? What are you doing to make use of your time right now? It's like a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot for people to take in. So I would encourage C to get that get that support from people that are in the same place and see what they are doing to make it better for them. When it comes to her colleagues, I think that maybe one of the first paths she can take is talking to the person in HR and maybe tell that person her qualms and see if that person can do the dirty work for her. Because I don't necessarily know if, especially because C really wants to keep these things personal, I don't think she needs or should be forced to or has to, as she said, educate these people on what is appropriate work behavior.

yeah your thoughts um i agree with you about her like her comment about food scarcity being a bit too general i think that um i think that what i've been hearing from a lot of colleagues who i admire is language around using this time or not putting pressure on ourselves during this time to be perfect like yeah and this is so corny but it doesn't mean it's not true but letting go is okay it's really stressful right now I mean listen you and I are in you could say privileged positions we have jobs yes we're in very privileged very lucky to have jobs yeah and still it's scary for both of us like we have different anxieties but um even for for someone like me who has a job and um I have serious concerns and worries about the website and about the landscape of

the internet and I have worries about all kinds of things that are quite serious I don't want to minimize my worries, nor do I want to state them here because it's not about me. Ha ha. Because that is my habit. But I would imagine that the things that are worrying me are worrying also a lot of people, small business owners. Of course. And retail employees and people who are out of work. And so on top of all that, if we have to worry about the physical, it's too much. Um, and this is obviously, this is not even considering what the frontline people are going through. People have to go to work still every day to actually save lives and protect ours.

Of course. So there's been a lot of good language, um, about letting go and just kind of, um, so what if there's a quarantine 15, maybe it's better if we all just come out of this like 15 pounds heavier or 20 pounds heavier or 30 pounds whatever um without like obviously going into like a bad and unhealthy situation right for heart disease and all that kind of stuff like god i don't want to piss off those people too but i wonder if your language is switched from food scarcity and that kind of thing to you know what it's really a stressful time for a lot of people and i'm just gonna and you don't have to share your own personal story seed but you can be

like, look, I get it. It's stressful for a lot of people. And, you know, I, I get that on top of that, it's appearances and all that, but I'm just going to let go. Cause on top of the stress of worrying about whether or not I'm going to be infected or if my parents are going to get infected or this and that, the other putting on 15 pounds, like it's just not a trauma I want to take on right now. Like, you can say that in a very general term without disclosing your history. And there are, you know, there are people like social workers and psychiatrists and psychologists out there who are writing and encouraging a more, a more kind approach to be, to ourselves in this time. But listen, Sash, I think the one takeaway that I would want to see to have from

this is even though I don't have specifically her history and that diagnosis, I think about it more than I, I'm ashamed about how much I think about, like, how much are you eating? Yeah. And oh my God, the carb consumption today. Yeah. And so I can only imagine what you're going through. And I just want you to know, C, that you're not alone, that I don't want to even call it a weakness because it shouldn't be labeled that. But this, I don't know, this pressure to look a certain way and to be a certain way is so fucking heavy for everybody. Yeah.

But that's why I feel like I don't think C, I mean, I love your advice and I think if C can do that, great. um but i just don't think and and because you and i come from such like a different perspective than see like we haven't had to go through that trauma in our life we are not reopening that wound right now in isolation and this is what's happening to her so that's why i'm like maybe your best you know line of defense here is to have someone else deal with it and that's why i would encourage her to talk to her human resources contact because that would be the person who could shut it down Because what happens if C does do what you tell her to, which is great advice, but then these fucking birds are like, oh, and they just go off.

And they think that having a work discussion, like the preamble, the pregame of the work chat is to always talk about food. No, like I actually think that is kind of inappropriate. Like, yes, I get that we're all in this together and that we're all trying to find commonality through this hard time. but I think it's actually quite inappropriate to be talking about food because you don't know what people's issues are in that sense in that sense yes yes in that sense right like because you don't know what's going to trigger people and I think you know I'm not I'm not saying these are like they're doing it out of malice but I think that we've never been put in a situation like this where we're constantly in contact with people and we're home which then stirs up you know more

personal conversations for some weird reason that I just don't think that we need to put that on see when she's already dealing with so much. So that's why I would be like, fucking rip that shit off like a bandaid and talk to your HR person to deal with it. Yep. That's one option. I think the other option too is like, I mean, as we both know through like the training and the language that we've gotten even like in our workplace is sometimes people like see just want to feel like their feelings are validated. Yes, that's true. Yeah. We're not necessarily here to give a solution and perhaps there is no solution and I think a lot of people who are in a similar situation aren't looking for a solution they're just looking to be understood and so see if if

that is what you're looking for in writing this note to us please know understood like we feel you we get you like and we're not trying to say that we're the same as you but you know we there's so much empathy here and yeah you've been heard for sure so um there's one there there's actually one other um and i i know that c's not on social media but she should go on to uh the birds of papaya instagram she has a blog and she's actually been really vocal about um this exact thing because she had um a path with eating disorders and this time in quarantine has actually triggered that again about her control over food and her consumption over food so i feel like again trying to find those people who have been in the same situation and are going through the

same situation would be a great support system for you as well. Okay. So moving on to our final question. I already like the first word. Oh, okay. What's the first word? Well, well, it's hey, Sasha, thank me. Oh, okay. I'm in lust slash love with my ex-boyfriend's brother. I'm here. Attention. You have our attention. Some backstory. I met Jamal six years ago in grad school and we started dating.

The relationship was nice, but after nine months, we mutually decided to break up. Nothing bad happened. The relationship just ran its course. However, in those nine months, I became pretty close to his family, especially his sister and older brother, Michael. All three siblings and I formed a really close friend group that is still going strong. About three years ago, I went on a trip to Hawaii with a group of friends that included my ex's brother, Michael, and that's where everything changed.

Michael is hot, like really fucking hot. He has this V line in his abs that is so panty melting hot that I, sorry, you get the point. We were drunk a lot on that trip and I caught myself flirting and touching Michael in a way that I never did before. On our last night in Hawaii, Michael and I decided to take a walk. This is, listen, this is one of my books that I read. I was just going to say, you can take this to bed tonight. Yeah.

Let me just take this from that start of that sentence again. On our last night in Hawaii, Michael and I decided to take a walk on the beach and he confessed to being attracted to me. Before he could finish his sentence, I pretty much attacked him. We started making out heavy and it took all our restraint not to just have sex on that beach. Once the makeout session was over and we came to our senses, we both realized we couldn't actually allow anything to happen. He is extremely close to his brother, and for that matter, so am I, and neither wanted to hurt or jeopardize the relationship we have with Jamal. It's been three years of heated looks, all-night phone calls where we talk about everything, and lots and lots of flirty and sexual comments while we're in the same room. I recently told his sister how I felt, and she thinks we should just go for it.

she mentioned that everyone around us has pretty much realized something is up and that her mother once commented that she was afraid we were about to have sex on her dinner table because we couldn't stop eye fucking each other during dinner after telling Michael what his sister said he told me that his dad recently pulled him aside and told him to man up and speak to Jamal about how he felt because it was pretty clear he's in love with me it's been almost two months since that talk and I'm finally at a place where I just want to go for it and live with the consequences Jamal is married and expecting his first child. So he is clearly moved on. Oh my God. What is the problem here? He's always telling me how much he just wants me to be happy and have something in my

life besides work. So I truly think he'll understand. Am I being naive? Am I a bad person for wanting to get with my ex's brother? I'm so scared, but I also know this can't continue as is for much longer because I truly believe in my soul. Michael is my person. What do you think we should do any advice even if harsh is welcome thanks kaya kaya kaya this is short and sweet oh what is that my rice cooker the rice cooker is even fucking agreeing fucking beep beep beep go for it kaya we don't i think you're listen i know okay sash go because i think yeah i'm making these signals right now tell the people what i'm doing oh she's putting a finger in a hole which is just fucking jam that shit out kaya that is what she is miming kaya listen go get your boy

go get your boy especially the whole family not only sees what's happening they're rooting for it to happen mom dad sister mom dad sister you you're locked and loaded like if you have that support i don't know what is holding you back also i was reading when you were reading i was like oh fuck what's Michael's deal Michael is with someone and has a baby he is oh not Michael Jamal sorry and as you were reading and I was thinking what the fuck's up with Jamal Jamal is with somebody and has procreated dude doesn't give a fuck and he all and he just wants you to be happy like I don't understand what the problem is and it's interesting that she would it's so interesting that Kaya's held back how she feels about this so much so that she's written us

um, and isn't getting the signs that this is like green light, go for it now. Well, I, and if, you know, I, you know what Duanna would say, Duanna would be like, well, I need to read deeper into this and no, exactly. No, but the deeper read into it is, um, you know, Kaya, Kaya, you just said Michael is your person. And sometimes that's scary. Like, yes, to realize who your person is. And for so long, you guys have been holding back. And it is scary to take the plunge 100 percent.

And so I don't think if I'm going to play Duanna here, I don't think this is necessarily about Jamal anymore. I think this is about you confronting the fact that, yeah, this is your person and you are going to have to be ready to give yourself over to your person. Like, this is it. It sounds like this is it. And that is scary. But all the other factors, like as you said, Sash, Jamal has moved on. He has, he's found his person. They were like, they were, Jamal and Kaya were only together for nine months first of all and kaya and michael have been like pining for each other for three years which has made it actually so basic more than what jamal and kaya had anyway so i think kaya

you've built this up this you've built this drama up too much and probably so has michael it's time just it's gonna be fine but the communication is key like you know don't let jamal catch you dicking each other in the bathroom over Thanksgiving or whenever we're all safe to get together again. Like, yes, conversations need to be had and straight up. And then you roll out. You know, I'm curious. What are you? I think. Are you isolating together, though? Like what is happening here? Oh, no, they're just talking on the phone. They're just talking on the phone. Right. I think what's what's great is it's kind of played out exactly how it was meant too that yes it has been a really long time had this happen right out of the relationship with

jamal or even just like two years ago she wouldn't have been ready the family wouldn't have been ready like it would have been way more complicated it just seems like the perfect time now there's like a lot of space um that has happened since you and jamal and everyone's kind of like and everyone's seeing it everyone as i said before is rooting for it like it's so perfect and now all i want to do is see a picture of michael because he sounds really fucking hot oh my god like i need the ending of this like beach story man well i'm pretty sure you couldn't imagine what the end of the fucking beach story was but that's why i'm thinking like kaya like yeah as lady and somehow duanna peeked in on this too is um is so yeah like you're the only one right now kind of

holding your back from this future with my goal um and so you have lady lady's blessing my blessing to like really go for it yes you are overthinking it uh just go for it like this is like this is like the ideal question for me because the answer is so simple but also I think if you need any more encouragement um and compliments you know ultimately i think hopefully jamal will realize you and michael put your love on hold for three years you lost sort of sort of well i mean i think that what they did like talking on the phone all the time is such a a small a small piece of consummating what they had like they have sacrificed if you want to use the word trips together they've sacrificed dinners birthdays they've sacrificed a level of intimacy out of

respect for Jamal like they basically fucked in Hawaii what are you talking about but they didn't and then after that it's been three years then they were like whoa whoa whoa let's take a step back and we're only gonna talk on the phone and fucking like phone sex each other fine but I mean if you think about that's only that's a fraction that's like a whisper a shadow a relationship can we agree that they take that one to the grave though i don't think jamal ever needs to know that hawaii happened right i did not know that hawaii happened but jamal does need to know that for three years they've been holding off on true intimacy out of respect really being together in a legitimate way because they were respecting him yes and three years i mean i think especially

in the time of COVID-19, like time is so important and like being able to do the things you want to do and be around the people you want to be and say the things you want to say is that much more important now. And they like, they press pause on whatever potential they had for three years out of respect for him. Like, I hope that he realizes that. I feel like he's going to the fact that moms and pops are also down for this. Like, I'm pretty sure Jamal also has seen it, but didn't want to have that like uncomfortable conversation with his brother like everyone's everyone's seen it everybody's down for it like please just go for it and dear fucking god keep us posted i need to know my god what happens chemistry must be fucking like out of this

world between these two people if the family members thought that they were gonna fuck over the potatoes what was like over the dinner table or whatever yeah yeah have you ever been with someone where they had a sibling that was super hot I've always wished for that I never had that though have I been with someone and their sibling was super hot yeah no I don't think so this is like a sweet valley high fucking I have like I know someone who I think their sibling is super hot who but I've like but the person I know isn't hasn't isn't my boy hasn't been my boyfriend or ever my boyfriend or ever my ex okay but you find their their sibling hot oh it's it's also unanimous that this person like everyone i know with disparate tastes like are into this brother

he he he hits everybody's he checks everybody do i know this person i don't know if you've met this person you've met the person like the person i know you've met i know the ugly sibling sibling isn't ugly actually i know i know the less attractive sibling the less sexy sibling yeah who is this whisper whisper who are you after that you yeah but so anyway okay so i so i'm but i've never dated someone and then been like oh my god your brother is so hot ever Yeah, no, me neither. But that's why I'm like, fuck, this is like, Kaya, you have hit the jackpot. You've hit the family jackpot.

Fucking bullseye each one of those dudes. All right, Kaya, good luck. Please, can you keep us posted on this one? Just because, again, Sasha wants to know, and I'm perverted. Yeah. So we need an update on you and Michael. I want to know when it happens. We need some good news right now.

And that brings us to the close of this episode. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for your questions. And don't forget to subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts and leave comments and reviews. We really appreciate it. And of course, keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. Bye.

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