What's Your Drama - Is It Your Mother-in-Law … or Is It You?

Episode Date: October 1, 2020

Welcome back to What's Your Drama. We kick the podcast off by chatting about some Hollywood relationship drama. That's right! Katie Holmes and her new chef bf as well as Demi and her now ex-fiance, Max. Did you guys hear Demi's new song she dropped yesterday? Oohhhffffff. It came out after we recorded the podcast, I wish we could have talked about it because it's one helluva heartbreak song.Then we get into YOUR drama!First we hear from "A" who is torn about her new COVID romance. It seemed to be going well but then it quickly went to sh*t. They barely talk anymore but “A” wants to know if she should still try to make it work.  Then it's on to "Destiny" who really comes in strong with some drama between her and her new mother-in-law. Lainey and I were taken aback but we had to come quick with a reality check. Sorry in advance, Destiny, but dude, you're wayyyy in the wrong here.We end on "V". She's pregnant, hormonal, and feeling very insecure. She did some snooping on her husband and now she's walking on eggshells at home. Take a listen and let us know your thoughts - does she deserve a pass on this or does she need to remain in detention?We hope you enjoy the show and keep sending me all your DRAMA! Send your advice questions my way at [e-mail]. We also love hearing from you on Twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and make sure to leave feedback and comments because it helps others find our show!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Yeah, but it doesn't mean that destiny has to be like, oh my God, awesome, your mother's coming over. We got married last night and you just took your dick out of me after morning after wedding sex and I have to be nice to your mother. Quick question. When was the last time a display ad changed your mind?

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With Acast, you can access the world's largest podcast marketplace. Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. Then watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions. You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting acast.com slash advertise. Hi, I'm Lainey Louie, talk show host and entertainment reporter. I'm also the editor of LaineyGossip.com and I am a BTS fan.

Yeah, you are. I'm Sasha Tong. I am a producer at an entertainment show here in Canada. I'm also a fashion and beauty columnist on LaineyGossip.com. And I am not a big BTS fan. But this is What's Your Drama? Where we gossip about you. tell me what you think about katie helms and this new guy and because i feel like he's loving it

yeah i mean i feel bad and i can fucking dovetail off of demi lovato and her ex-fiance because it's like there's all these kind of like i don't know you always hear like guys always being like oh women are such fucking like gold diggers and snakes and they're just like i don't know whatever like there's just so much bad rap like there's bad rap for women but i feel like there's just so many shady dudes out there what's his name again katie's dude it's it's emilio vittola emilio emilio and demi lovato's ex they're just like these like i don't know i get i get major fame horror vibes i get they're doing it for the clout and i hate that oh i because i love demi lovato and i fucking love katie holmes but i feel like well we know that demi probably got

played because her ex was really into selena gomez but i feel like katie's gonna get her heart mashed into pieces. I think what's interesting about the whole Demi Lovato thing too is the fact that it was like her fans on social media. Who flagged that to her. Who did the CSI of like, here's your history. Although I think it also had to do with like competing fan bases. So like Selena Gomez fans kind of taunting Demi Lovato's fans,

but then Demi Lovato's fans being so concerned about her, like they cared so much about her and they're like did you know which is like this happened and in this case like it exposed a certain thing to her I guess if that is what the narrative is but it is also a little bit disturbing like fans on social media can actually have an impact and break a relationship that is it's fucked but isn't it just like hey oh just wanted to give you a heads up that your um your soon-to-be husband actually loves your best friend like that's just like a nice that's a you're you're doing a solid i think whether you're a fan or not yeah i think the intention is not necessarily bad it's just this is a very new world reality it wasn't happening

like this before but is that actually years ago when i think about it it's like is it bad that he had a crush on a disney star at one point like he was a nobody so like of course he would have had crushes on people is it bad that it was it just happened to be one of her ex-best friends well that's just it like you don't really know it certainly doesn't you know there are there's other reporting that has backed up the fact that he was thirsty and he fucking loved all the Instagram posts that you put on your site were hilarious. Yeah. Cody did a great job. That was Cody. Oh yeah. That was so fun. Yeah. Cody did a great job laying it all out. So I think that you can be in a situation where let's say, you know, he was 19 once upon a time and he had a

big crush on Selena Gomez. And the way you do is you just shrug it off. Like, yeah, I was 19. I fucking fanboyed selena and ariana and what person doesn't right like um and you can explain it away that way but then with the backup reporting and all the sources who are saying that he was like a little bit thirsty and loved you know the fact that he was getting all this attention and this and that and the other and the way that he's kind of behaved since like leave me alone no no no look Leave me alone. No, no, no. Look at me. Like, I don't know. But at the same time, the bigger thing is, is that like now fans on social media can really affect a relationship or look at what they've just done. And again, this is a very modern problem. Like 25 years ago when fans were

just like writing letters to their faves, it wasn't happening like this. Totally. You're right. Right. And even a few years ago when people hung out on message boards, this didn't happen. It's the direct contact that you have with fans on Instagram and on Twitter and TikTok or whatever that bridges that gap. And also it's this generation, like Max and Demi have a social media footprint. So all of that gets traced back. And then people remember, whereas 25 years ago, like if whoever, I don't know, like, I don't know, Channing Tatum had a crush on somebody. he wasn't like you couldn't trace it of course yeah twitter well i mean it goes back to this i mean the other thing about social media is that any ex can call out their past significant other

which is what happened with katie holmes and her new dude right like he was engaged or was definitely in a very serious relationship oh no no engaged texted her right or she found out through the paps or whatever right like it's i don't know how she found out but like in the next minute he and katie holmes are writhing on top of each other yes they are doing a fucking pda tour of new york city which okay so let's go back to katie and the dude i keep i forget his name already um what do you think about i mean because we are mainly a relationship podcast um what do you think about when your really good friend let's pretend katie holmes is our really good friend starts dating a guy and she does things that are totally out of character out of character

meaning she's like in a very public public public relationship how is that out of character but she was in a cult but she was in a cult she was cultified back then right moving well since tom cruise she's been on the dl she's very much on the down low all the time right we know about jamie foxx like they were basically living in a cave don't you think that was dictated by jamie So I'm wondering, is this dictated by her men? And are or are we seeing Katie Holmes like flourish now in a relationship? Like, is this who she wants to be? Someone who gets papped and doesn't give a flying fuck?

I don't think so. She is like she comes from a long, long, long, long history of being famous. Like, you don't do that unless you're a cheap hoe. I should know. Sash, who does that? I don't know. people don't do that anymore evidence of to me like the way that she even is looking like you know how she looks fresh and flushed all the time right now she's getting fucked on the streets of

new york city well it reminds me of how like freshly kissed and like mouth swollen she used to look when she was with tom cruise do you remember like she was constantly walking around with her because she was drugged and she was drugged in a cult no i think in the moment she didn't know she was in a cult yet let's face it she just felt so in love so maybe this is what we're putting together about katie holmes is that she falls hard and she falls fast and when she does she actually doesn't mind the world knowing it's just that jamie foxx mind right okay maybe like maybe i mean that's that's kind of the mystery of katie holmes i have no idea who she is or what she's about no idea so you're totally right that could be her this person who wants to

like eat pray love life but i don't know anything about her i have no idea i wish i knew more about her i just think that i think she's just like she's in like a love haze i think she's gonna get fucking fucked by this guy which makes me sad i mean i don't like the overlap he looks he looks very happy in front of those cameras like his eyes are locked when you yeah eyes are locked into that fucking lens when you just bounce after meeting like on your fiance that it's never a good look ever you do that with yasik so well the dude wasn't my feet yeah but still it was a very long we were together we were together for three years and he told me like i don't know the week literally you know the week maybe the

week before I met Jacek or very closely around like very close around that time he was like yeah this is as serious I want to get with you as serious we've reached the ceiling yeah that's very funny awesome right anyway I'm not saying that does not excuse me cheating on him yes I cheated on oh there's the other layer okay yeah I did yes we talked about this though I am cheater you're not a cheater situation i think i'm pretty fucking loyal yeah that's i cheated okay okay i did not know that you cheated i thought you just sorry i my chair is squeaking let me just readjust what are you talking about i fucking oh i did not know i thought you were like bye-bye with a dude i was like i was with a dude i'm going on a business trip then i went on business trip

then i came back didn't really think about yasik but then yasik contacted me and then i secretly behind the dude's back was like like talking to yasik and emotionally cheating how quickly did you physically like did let's be honest did you cheat cheat physically on him too i'll i will say this after meeting yasik i did not hook up with that dude again okay but you were still with the dude when you hooked up with yasik okay i don't know how like hot we were for each other anymore though well yeah he basically told you enough was enough he didn't want any more from you anyway so anyway um should we stop talking about ourselves oh or me well sure let's do that let's get into other people's issues and drama yeah okay welcome back everybody we've

got a lot of backlog drama to get to so here we go here is the first question hey sasha so i've been seeing this guy since March 23rd. We met through Bumble in the beginning of COVID and he was everything I wanted after a string of seriously shit relationships where either cheating, lying, gaslighting, and or other super crappy things took place. For some context, this dude and I were supposed to meet up last year after meeting on Bumble, but he ghosted me. I came across him again on Bumble and swiped before I remembered who he was. I confronted him about it and he had since made a strong ass comeback. He texted me often with cute things and given my past, I was really nervous to take it to the next level and make it official with him. It's not that I was

interested in seeing other people. I just have a spidey sense for when things are too good to be true and felt it was best to listen to that intuition. I told him that while I like him, I'd like to take it slow. Eventually I opened up about my past experiences with men and he has really perfect and real responses to those traumatic events in my life. In July, I had surgery and he was constantly checking up and sent a cute gift to my house. He was adorable. Okay, so fast forward and I see him active in a different location on Bumble after checking our conversation to fact check a funny inside joke thing from an early conversation. I confronted him about it, admittedly like a crazy woman, and he said that when I push

him away, he goes on Bumble but doesn't talk to anyone or swipe. Since then, we've had recurring fights about whether I'm pushing him away, his impulse to check Bumble, and where we were in the relationship, and it's kind of been going downhill. We don't talk on the phone anymore have only facetimed once and he said he'd stop trying He makes promises He doesn't keep acts like making a reservation in advance is terribly difficult and basically that I could not feel Underappreciated because he's a busy guy. He doesn't have a car to do things or visit me

And then i'm just being a difficult woman I'm pretty fair and i'm the first to point out my faults and shortcomings But honestly do not feel like i'm being difficult in constructively discussing my boundaries and wants for a relationship I don't know. He went back home for a month to see his family and said we should take a breather I don't really know what this is to be honest, but I took it to mean a breakup, which I thought was best I slept over at his place and dropped him for the airport the next morning that same day My grandmother passed away and I feel like that just made him feel guilty and thwarted his plans for a clear break We still haven't been talking on the phone and sometimes don't go until

7 p.m To text which is strange given how obsessed he was with me in the earlier days when I asked him why he hadn't texted me first after mentioning that I hadn't texted him. He said that I should know that he is interested and that he's super busy and anxious. I totally understand this. And given that the breather was his suggestion, I don't want to annoy him by sending unnecessary texts. But I also feel like what he said was a weird thing to say, given my grandma past. I need your advice on this guy and what I should do. Sincerely, A. Okay, A. What was that? Didn't you trademark some weird thing like fastflames. What was that one that you did? I feel like that applies.

fast yes yes what was it read it what was it or you don't remember anymore no i do i love it i didn't know if i officially trademarked it um fast flames flame out fast fast flames weren't meant to last for me i have to say like a you said you wanted to follow your intuition you weren't feeling it so then you were like confronting him you weren't happy but I feel like you aren't following that all the way through yeah you can't be like he gives me like weird vibes I don't really believe him about going back on bumble he doesn't really text me anymore he's not really bringing what I want in the relationship and then telling him all that and then he's like well yeah I need a break and then you're like fucking up in his grill the all the time like make up your mind

too make up your mind but also why do we like to like dish out more shit in our lives like I don't know if you're looking for a relationship like why not just ask and get what you want if something if someone's not offering up what you're wanting in a relationship that I'm just not sure why you want to stick around or even try to make it work or even try to beg to see if he's going to give you any love back like he clearly i don't know he's very lukewarm um and that's not good enough for you but i think like and this is what's so interesting when we talk to our girlfriends who are single is like the bar is so low and everybody's just accepting that low fucking grade bullshit and i just yeah and this is where i want to bring up love island is because i think

we're like just trained because we just hear all these horror stories about guys and you're just supposed to like put up with their shitty behavior put up with the fact that they don't call you because oh well like let's think about some excuses or make excuses up for them to do that and then that kind of dawned on me I know Love Island's a reality show I know these people are like probably all actors but I got so much hope from Caleb um so if you don't watch you don't have to but like you should because caleb is just like this man of um integrity honesty depth uh i actually don't know what he's doing on a reality love show because i didn't know he doesn't need to be on one yeah but my point is i'm happy he is i'm obsessed with yes i i i literally turn to

every day and go i'm very sorry i love him and i'm very serious like i i can't believe there like even to me i'm surprised that there's a guy out there who is like that and he he seems very sincere like i it seems really sincere yeah so for me i'm like why don't we just like why can't we just hope and wait for the right people to come into our lives instead of settling for fucking sloppy, garbagey waste bags. Like that, that, that really does give me hope when I see someone like Caleb. Cause I'm like, Oh, there are good men out there. There are men who want to treat women with respect. There are men who are like interested and devoted and like invested, like that does exist. So go for it. A like ditch the ditch, the sleepy dude that you're with now and find somebody who

you do have a good gut feeling about stop trying to convince yourself that he is something that he is actually not yeah and also but in the meantime like you know to me the way you're the back half of your message fell apart in the sense where of like i i just i to me it just didn't seem clear what you wanted and i don't know if your actions were clear like you mean what does a want from this relationship like does she want it to go or or not yeah but also like are you sticking up for yourself you know um he you know you tell me you you you wrote that he makes promises he doesn't keep that he acts like it's a terrible imposition to make a reservation in advance that uh that he says you're being just a difficult one the one that also i mean the one that bothers me too is

he's like, you should know that I like you. It's like, excuse what? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So then you going back to him and being like, well, why haven't you texted me yet? You know, it's seven o'clock. How come you didn't text me? Like, to me, that's a waste of your time. But also it's like mixed messages to yourself. Totally. That's what I mean about not following through with your intuition. You're betraying yourself. Totally. And I get it. Of course, I feel bad. Your grandmother died and, you know, we don't really know if he cared or whatever, but please don't rely on him to care. And also I think, and of course she was sad about her grandmother. So forgive me for what I'm about to say, which is, I feel like she was baiting her grandmother's death on him to be like,

now what are you going to show up? And he didn't. So, you know, I just don't, uh, I agree with you, Lainey. Like you also have to stand up for yourself, ask her what you want, but at the same time a knows what she wants and she's not getting it so i don't know you can't blame the dude so much it's like a ask ask more for of yourself and ask more of a relationship like the end that's right or like yeah i mean he's not gonna he's clearly not there to to like respect to you. He's not stepping up. And give you what you deserve. So you need to give you what you deserve. So what your advice, like you asking, I need your advice on this guy and what I should do, I would bounce. 100. So A, good luck with that. I know, I don't know if that's what you were

looking for. I mean, but if that was the push you needed to really get out and get over him and get back on Bumble and meet somebody else. Yeah. Sometimes you need a good shake. And who the fuck is just going on Bumble and not swiping? It's not a fucking TV show. Like you have to swipe or you're going to, there's no point. Yeah. Just fucking looking at a blank screen, please. Um, so good luck and, um, let us know if you, if you want, um, any follow-up. While every other channel is fighting for your customer's attention, podcasts are where they've already given it. No one accidentally listens to a podcast for 45 minutes. They choose to be here. They trust the voice in their ears. And when that voice talks

about your brand, it doesn't sound like advertising. It sounds like a recommendation from a friend. Acast gives you that trust at scale, digital precision, post-read authenticity and performance data that proves it worked. Don't fight for attention. Buy it with Acast. Learn more by visiting a cast.com slash advertise. Uh, next question. Ready? Dear Sasha and Lainey. I just recently got married back in July. Congratulations. Things are going great for us, but I've got a major issue, which is I have a monster in law. The issue is that my husband doesn't say anything when she does annoying stuff. And I feel is not trying hard enough. She's always trying to hog all my husband's attention. Like she was literally trying to

come over the night of our wedding. My God. A good example would be when his mom and stepdad came over for dinner the day after we got married, which I had no clue they were coming until last minute. I cooked them a nice meal and she just picked up the food the whole time and never said thank you. Another example of her rude behavior is her bringing wedding decorations down for the wedding that I told her I didn't want. She ends up calling my husband and complaining about it. And a week later during the wedding reception, I see that the decorations have been hung up without my permission. My husband told me they're planning to come down again next month and I just don't want to be around her at all. And honestly, with COVID, I don't want them here even more.

I've told my husband that she's not welcome in our home, but every time I have discussed with him about her behavior, he always tries to deny things. So my question is, how would you deal with a mother-in-law that clearly disrespects you? Also, how can I stop her from visiting next month sincerely destiny oof all right destiny oh i don't well i i was on destiny's side for a little bit and then i i switched teams uh yeah i think i think destiny needs to slow her role a bit in the same way that she thinks her mother-in-law is like trying to take her you know her son back i feel like destiny is like really trying to lay some claims right now a little too quickly i i don't know i'm like a little bit scared about how destiny's reacting right now

like destiny scares me yeah no i mean destiny i can i can definitely understand how how a mother-in-law this these actions could annoy you like you know wanting to come over the wedding night coming over but it's new mother-in-law she hasn't figured out she hasn't figured out the step it like she hasn't figured out her footing yet and where she's supposed to be this was her son and now she has to like yeah but it doesn't mean that destiny has to be like oh my god awesome your mother's coming over we got married last night and you just took your dick out of me after morning after wedding sex and i have to be nice to your mother like i guess i can appreciate that i said first paragraph i was in that would be annoying the decorations thing also would be annoying and to like

annoying but so that's where i want to give destiny no like none of this adds up to i want this woman out of my life and i never want her in my house again which is what you're saying destiny right like here quote i just don't want to be around her at all and honestly with covid i don't want them here even more i get the covid bit for sure but i don't know how realistic it is to never want to be around your husband's mother but she said she's not saying like especially with covid and i'm worried about the mother-in-law's health she's like with covid i just don't want fucking anyone in my house uh but also i don't want this woman coming ever over again and i need my husband to tell her that that's not that's not that's that's not reality well the big the big one

though is quote i've told my husband that she's not welcome in our home that's a no-go destiny wait did destiny never listen the mother-in-law beforehand ever i don't know i i don't know she doesn't say, but like, you know, that is a hard fucking line to draw. I, my, the, the mother of your husband is not welcome in your home. Like, I don't know if you were being extra for theatrics destiny, but like, that is where to me, you've lost me over. Listen, all the things that you've listed do not amount to your mother-in-law being no longer welcome. If you you're, you're telling me that your mother-in-law secretly kids not kidnaps animals and like drowns them in her basement uh great fine agree with you if you say that your mother-in-law has created a fake

instagram profile and is posting oh my god your mind can go dark on a fucking like flip of a switch i could that would take all those two examples would take me like a solid week to come up with you dark fucker holy cow okay keep on right but like so you get what I'm saying right like I just don't think destiny at this point none of the things that you've told us are not worthy of that to be like this woman is not welcome in my home my god destiny destiny needs like as i said to slow her roll and a major reality check like your husband not only is allowed but deserves to have his mother in his life yes she may have like done some you know stepping over the boundaries a bit with the decorations and wanting to come over right away

but i want her destiny needs to like give her mom or give her mother-in-law some space to understand what this new life is going to look like. And also just be a little bit more fucking welcoming. Like, Jesus. Look, Destiny, you got married in July. We're in 2020. You got married in July. It's now September.

And she said this in three months. Well, yeah, she said this in August, I think. Okay. So a month and a half into your marriage, you were making these declarations. Like, listen, you know, you're, to me, you're asking us how you're going to stop your mother-in-law from visiting. I don't know what you did, but clearly Sash and I aren't really focused on that aspect of your letter because I don't know that we can help you with your mother-in-law unless you come to the table with, you know, a different attitude. And then if you write to us like in six months and be like, for the last six months, here's how I've tried to like welcome, like, you know, get along with my mother-in-law.

I've made attempts. I've sent her care packages. I email her. I try to talk to her on the phone. And what she does is, you know, she ends up sending me like she cuts off the ears of dead insects. She sends me dead insects in the mail or whatever. Then I'll be like, okay, destiny, we need to rescue you. But until then, Destiny, I just don't think this is a problem.

Well, I think Destiny is the problem. I'm sorry, Destiny, but this this is not good behavior on your part. And I also think like you you're not you haven't bridged the gap at all. Like she like I'm I'm terrified of the way that Destiny wrote this email because it's it's really aggressive. And, you know, no wonder her mom's fucking picking at her food and not eating it because you've probably fucking poisoned it. you seem that fucking insane about this whole situation no but really like destiny i don't think destiny is putting out thank you for letting me come into your family vibes and welcome into my family and let's bridge this together like there is no softness about this and that's what

worries me the most is they just got married like well for for all purposes of when this email was sent like a month and a half she was married a month and a half there's no way that you can cut off a family member, your fucking husband's mother out of his life. No. So check yourself, Destiny. Destiny, I'm just going to sound like an old lady and you're probably going to turn this off and be like, these two fucking old hags, what do they know? I'm so young and whatever. But marriage is about compromise. There are some things, you marry a person and then they come with all these weird family members and you're not always going to like them. And sometimes they're going to be annoying. And some, a lot of times you're just going to have to suck it and eat shit for like

three hours at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then go home and just be like, poor me and old fashion. And then it just kind of washes over you. Like, you know, in reality there is, it's totally unrealistic to like be in love with the members of your partner's family. It's so rare. The majority of people I know have problems with their mother-in-laws, right? They are annoying or they are rude, but you have to learn how to figure out, you have to have the tools to navigate that. And Destiny, you need to work on that. So I don't know, read a book, talk to your friends. We've said what we've said. And I really think that you need to turn it down like fucking 10 notches. for now I mean listen again the mother-in-law didn't do anything that heinous come on no I mean listen none of this is like worth saying the like this person is not welcome voodoo doll shit wow so anyway destiny uh good luck not just with your mother-in-law but really with your relationship yeah this is not going to do good things for your marriage if that's how

yeah it's in the spirit of compromise and you know until yeah until you come to us with something that is a little bit amounts to a little bit more than decorations and a no thank you at dinner i just don't see this woman as the devil be a bit more reasonable like there needs to be a little bit more reason i'm not sure you aren't are we ever gonna get we're coming back season six and we've like totally pummeled the first two better writers oh my god sorry um anyway destiny if you're mad at us let us know like and if we've got the situation wrong let us know okay okay hello sash and laney i'm living abroad and six months pregnant in a moment of hormonal crisis i snooped on my husband's whatsapp he works with a lot of women and i was feeling insecure with my

new body, weight gain triggered a longstanding body dysmorphia that I have been dealing with in therapy. I seeked reassurance that he was faithful. While I did find some flirtatious messaging, it is accepted without the Latin cultural norms. What does that mean? I don't know. Read that again. Okay. While I did find some flirtatious messaging, it is accepted without the Latin cultural norms. However, I don't know what that means. So let's maybe keep going. Maybe it'll make sense. However, I felt like shit afterwards and came clean to my spouse. Well, shit hit the fan. He reacted really badly. Like I broke his trust. He's mad that I needed to do this and didn't trust him enough to come to him with the issues I was having. He went through

each conversation with me and explained who the people were. I'm satisfied that he is indeed faithful, but he feels like something is broken and that he doesn't perceive me in the same way. I tried explaining that it was hard sharing all the feelings this pregnancy has brought up Aren't I supposed to be the one? Aren't I supposed to be one of the blossoming happy running in a field of flowers woman when pregnancy while desired has been hard on me Especially that I have struggled with food and weight issues, etc He says he loves and is committed to me, but he will need time to get over this breach of his phone I think he might be overreacting but I am trying to respect his feelings

how can i support him in that without feeling that i'm walking on eggshells thanks v pregnant insecure and hormonal oh right oh i feel like she feels so sincere i know i know like especially going through yeah the hormones and dealing with like just this new body and then knowing that she did something that she shouldn't have done but now being like spanked for it i don't know isn't it kind of isn't it i know i feel really bad for her but isn't it like that's what i like how she like even though she feels bad for it and guilty and and is like sitting in the detention corner she knows that he's overreacting a bit and he is overreacting everyone knows that everyone reads everyone's diary come on come on i just i think that i think that it listen i don't have

the kind of relationship where yasik's phone and email and all that is separate to me i it's true i have all the kind of it's everything is joint money is joint accounts are joint phones are joint. We know each other's passwords. No secrets. There's no secrets. And so I think that you're the same-ish? No, not the same-ish at all. We don't have shared funds. I don't know a password. Even when he logs onto this computer that I'm on, he won't show me his password. I don't know the password to go onto this computer. All right. So, okay. So maybe you're in a better position because I can't say that in my relationship, it would be a big deal. Right. I like a bit of privacy. Like if Corey started to

read, like Corey doesn't know my Instagram. Like if he read my DMs, I'd be like, what? Like, and if he saw any of our group texts, Lainey, oh my God, he'd fucking lose his mind. like what specific texts are highly inappropriate i i there's so many dicks on that group chat there's so many men's assholes there's so many cum shots there's so many porn sites like it's fucking littered with garbage i i guess i just have a different or like i i sometimes like i i show i try and show you i know you do i know he doesn't want to no i do not he's like fucking get that shit like you know but anyway okay so but my point is i want like my dms to be my dms i want my emails to be my emails i wanted my group chats to be my group chats but if he was

to read them it's not like he would find anything that was suspect right like much like b she didn't like she was she needed clarity he gave her clarity um and that's that but i wouldn't i wouldn't make cory pay for for weeks and be like i don't know if i can trust you i'd be like okay well you snoop because people snoop everyone snoops yeah like you i know you don't but if if if not everything was oh no no like i'm i don't snoop because it's it's not right but that's what i'm saying like i i am a snooper like i right and you would if let's say yasik did have this like secret or not secret if he had an account that you didn't have a password to you'd probably look at it at some point yeah yeah yeah I just so anyway I get that I get that what she did was bad

and she gets like a little hand spank I get that but if her husband's dragging this out so much so that she feels like every time she walks in the house she's walking on eggshells well I think that's being a bit dramatic so the question is how does she how does she make her husband feel more secure in this relationship if he feels like his security has been breached? Well, I get that he needs his time to forgive her and to, I don't know, feel like he can trust her that she will trust him. I guess what I'm struggling with is if I were her, I would be like, okay, you know, I'll give you your space, but she's pregnant right now and she's vulnerable. She needs the love. Yeah. And she also needs a little, like, I don't know, she also needs a

little massaging, you know, clearly the hormones, like, listen, six months pregnant, I've never been six months pregnant, um, and your first time. And like, you know, the fact of the matter is, even though it's probably not talked about enough is that pregnancy isn't like sunshine and rainbows for everyone. Some people may have had beautiful pregnancies. I also know people who had hideous pregnancies, who hated being pregnant. I think like, you know, wasn't Danielle Graham on our show? And she was like, fuck, I don't want to, you know, like there are people who just, um, there are people who yes, have the most ideal pregnancy and they talk about it in the most transformative way and then there are people who are like i love my child i want to have this

child but i hate these nine months they fucking suck yeah and they're not great for v here and it's obviously messing with her mental health and so now like i i don't know where for him if you're him how do you balance i need to teach her a lesson and i need my space with i care about my wife who's you know dealing with some shit while carrying our child totally like where is the where is the seesaw there where it levels out where do you where well exactly so there's a couple of things here first i would want to know if v like you know her husband took all this time to make her feel better right like don't worry don't worry this is here line by line like this is all kosher good times i'm wondering if v was vulnerable like i know that she said that she expressed to

him how she was feeling about her body's changing and how she was yeah did she ever like really apologized to him i wonder if she she doesn't really say that and i could she might have she might not she might not included it but like if she hasn't done that i feel like that's something that would be a good first step right to really make him feel better about the safety like about him feeling safe right like apologizing about that the second thing would also be if she has done that and he's still fucking dragging his feet and like trying to like teach her a lesson then i think you got to get a little bit more hardcore which is what laney was speaking about which is like dude i'm pregnant i need this to be as pleasurable as possible and we need to like

get okay like yes there was a blunder but now we have to come together because we're going to be fucking parents and some really stressful shit's about to happen and we're going to need to figure out how to always get back on the same page again. So let's do that now. Right? So it's like, I'm giving her two options. You either do the soft route if you haven't, right? So that you're like, oh, so sorry. So sorry. I hurt your ego. Like, let's be friends again. And if she already has done that and he's still being a dick, sorry, he's not being a dick. And if he's still being, you know, like, I don't know, like needing to teach her a lesson, then the other option is to get a little bit more hardcore with him. Like, dude, snap out of it. Like, let's move on.

I made a mistake. Like you can't punish me for weeks and weeks and weeks during the most stressful time of our relationship, which is childbearing. And also this is, listen, V, I get it. He's angry. This is marriage though. Like, you know, you're going to, we're going to in our marriages hurt each other all the time. That's really shitty, but if we were perfect, then we would never, like, we're not perfect. And pain is often inflicted, of course it's because it's pain, is inflicted by the ones we care about the most. So at this stage in your marriage, yes, we each, all of us contribute to little breaks in the marriage all the time. And then the point is, is that you have to repair it.

Like you work on the repairing, you spend more energy on fixing and like, you know, paper, not papering over the break, but like strengthening the break, that fracture point. And I don't think that like shutting down and not communicating is a way to restrengthen that point. Well, she knows that. No, but clearly he doesn't. Like all he keeps wanting to say, I feel, is he says he feels like something is broken and that he doesn't perceive me the same way. I don't think that's helpful, frankly. No, no. But I wonder if that's also V's interpretation. Like, I just don't feel like they've really committed because it was such like a, you know, like it was such a gross thing that he felt like she did. Like, I just don't feel like I don't know. I just feel like V hasn't

really explained that they had like a really productive conversation about it. Like he showed her line by line then he was like i'm still mad at you and then eggshells like what was in between that like why haven't they worked and like as you've said tried to get to the fracture points and making them come together at least fucking gluing that shit on for the next six months until she has her baby like i would feel like you could move past that like this isn't their first fight um i i i'm i'm a little bit like why haven't you guys been able to like patch things up quicker yeah v i mean you need a really you clearly need a really deep really difficult follow-up conversation or a yeah like i feel like he might not have been heard that's

my gut like i feel like he hasn't maybe expressed it but maybe she hasn't asked the pointed questions about like how that actually made him feel, you know, like I think there's a bit of ego stroking that she might need to do with him in order to make him feel better about it. Also a thing that you have to do sometimes with your husband or your partner. But the point is, is that like more talking? Yes. More talking. More talking. And talking doesn't have to be like walking on eggshells. Totally. You know what I mean? Like walking on eggshells implies that there's imbalance again exactly there's this like you have to now you are like down a notch so you owe him something you're not an equal we make mistakes like when mistakes happen in a relationship if

you keep it if if if you start like saying oh my god i lost points and he has way more points than me then this is never gonna get to a point where this there's anything healthy so don't walk on eggshells. I know that's easier said than done, but like literally don't feel like you are less than in this relationship because you fucked up. Yes, you fucked up, but it doesn't shake what should be an equal foundation of two people in this together. Totally. Yeah. I couldn't say it any better. Yeah. So good luck, V. Please keep us posted on this one. I want to know how this one pans out. Yeah. And you know what? Sorry about this during your pregnancy, but like half you know as as good of a rest of your pregnancy as you can i feel so sad like this beautiful time

in your life and yeah take care take care of yourself and and and start to feel yeah i hope i hope this um you guys come out of this stronger and that you start to deal with some of the feelings that you had about like this pregnancy and your body and you are worth it and this is a wonderful time and i hope that i hope that you get to see that soon um and keep sending us your questions to SashaEleniGossip.com Thanks for listening. Thanks for coming back.

We are back and we will be back very soon with more of your drama. Until then, my ass is real sweaty. Okay, bye. It got real sweaty.

My back's pouring with sweat. What else is new? Okay, well, thank you. Bye. Bye. We'll see you next time. it worked. Don't fight for attention. Buy it with ACAST. Learn more by visiting acast.com. We'll be right back.

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