What's Your Drama - Love for Chrissy Teigen & Jenner Adjacent Story

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers podcast!On today's show: We talk about who we wish was Kylie Jenner's baby daddy and then we creep, or rather, Lainey creeps his Instagram page. Then we get into your questions! Can you be friends with someone even though their friend group sucks, how to rekindle a friendship after a misstep, and if you can tell a co-worker to EFF off!Thanks for tuning and keep your feedback/questions coming to me at [e-mail] and hit us up on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi it's Lainey. Hi it's Sasha. And welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers where we are opening the show talking about, well, a Jenner adjacent story. Okay. Oh, Jenner adjacent. Got it. Ish. So Kylie Jenner, her kid, Stormy. Stormy. There's an online, okay I know where you're going with this, so just spit it out. No, no. I just think that, first of all, I think it's so hilarious the online community can look at a photo of really a baby that hasn't formed yet. I can never tell who a baby looks like. I can never tell who a baby looks like.

A little whistle came out like you're a 95-year-old woman. I can never tell who a baby looks like when they're that young. I mean, the baby is like five minutes old, right? Sometimes, though, there are babies that you're like, oh, shit, like you have all the character right in your face right away. Well, the character in the baby is like leading to some people saying that Tyga, no, wait, not Tyga. She used to be with Tyga.

Who was she with now? Travis Scott. Thank you. No, really? Yeah. Okay, okay. That Travis Scott isn't the father, but the father is actually her bodyguard. Those eyes, you can't fuck around.

Those eyes look very much like her bodyguard. Do I think that that is the father? No, but like it's very striking that that little baby has some very Asian looking eyes. I actually don't care who the baby was sired by. All I care about is this bodyguard. I've never known him to be Kylie Jenner's bodyguard. I've never seen him until then. Never seen him before.

Like, I guess I'm not super down or, like, super up to date. I would never say that I'm a scholar on Kardashian-Jenner shit. So I don't have, like, an archived knowledge of what their photos look like and whenever they go out. But having… Get to the juice. The juice is he's so hot. He's so hot that that's the only thing I'm like, okay, whatever, whatever. Mystery parentage or he's denied it.

P.S. I guess we should put that fact out there. and now talk about how fucking hot he is. He's so hot and this is rare for me because unfortunately my father killed all Asian men for me. I was just unfortunately because of him not ever able to date an Asian man. Your father being an Asian.

Yes. But when I saw this, I was like, cha-ching, this guy is crazy fucking hot and tall. Tall. He cured you of your daddy issues, did he? Yes, he did. Thank you. Totally.

he is so hot well this is what's so interesting about the whole kardashian jenner um like their their power is now this guy is gonna his he's gonna have a tv show or he will have a modeling career after this well he was already a model yeah but it obviously didn't work out for him that he had to fucking be a bodyguard now he's gonna be i don't know on everyone's teen dream. He has 747,000 followers. And that didn't just happen like in the last week. He already has had a significant follower base. So I think even because the people who follow the Jenners and Kardashians know everyone in their orbit. So they're always going to get followed anyway. And he was already a model. And I'm sorry, Sash, but he takes lots of selfies.

Oh, no. And he takes lots of selfies at the gym. You know what? I appreciate the fact that I was like, hey, now this dude's fucking hot as hell. But I didn't actually ever go to his Instagram. I love that you. Oh. You've done it. You've seen everything.

I'm. He's so fucking hot. It's crazy. Do you have an iPad that you can throw me? Yeah, yeah. Hang on. I'm just going to. Mind the noise, everybody.

I'm turning around. Oh, my God. Like. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's so hot. His name is Tim Chung. Everybody, I guess I should tell you what his Instagram is.

Well, whatever. Just search Tim Chung. Yeah. The way clothes fall off him is just, is pretty ace. Like that's some good, those are some good genes. Yes. 100%. How could you, so this is the thing. How could you have someone in close proximity of you that's that fucking hot all the time? I'm not listening to you anymore. Why? Because you're looking at his pictures. Okay. Okay. Please, please look at the, please. Yeah. Love that. Love that. He is crazy, crazy, crazy good looking. He's crazy good looking. Cheekbones, skin, jaw, hair. Everything

is wonderful. Beautiful lips. And body. I mean, he's cut and I typically don't like an overly beefcake-y guy. And he just goes to the line and doesn't cross it. Yeah. He doesn't have like a thick neck or anything like that, which is important. Holy shit. He's hot. Okay. So focus. focus back to me look at my eyes look at my half asian eyes okay not his asian eyes what what let's say he was i don't know just like maybe let's say he was like your personal assistant could you keep your shit together if you had to see that shit day in day out no like if he was mariah carey's personal bodyguard or whatever it would be over for brian tanaka oh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, goodbye, Brian. Yes. Hello, Tam. I couldn't – no, I could not. He's so fucking hot. I'm looking at him in a white tuxedo and glasses right now. Like, I – yeah, he's good. That's good.

I could not be professional, but you would have to be. Like, I wouldn't sexually harass him. No. But how could you keep your shit together if he, like – I couldn't. Had to, like, put his arm on you to, like, protect you or, like – Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, and I'm sure he smells good. I don't know. Congratulations. We have talked about celebrities with hot bodyguards and like, I think, who was it who was walking around with a really hot bodyguard? Was it like Jennifer Lawrence for a minute? Oh, yeah, because everyone thought she was dating him. Yeah, and everybody was like, wow.

And then, of course, Beyonce's Julius. Julius is pretty hot. And there always have been rumors that Beyonce and Julius have a thing going. I don't know who Julius is. Sorry. Can I just Google this? No, again. Get out of my house again.

Every time. I'm disinvited. Every fucking time we talk about Beyonce, you do something that requires you to be removed. hold on julius bodyguard julius is as kathleen would say julius is a snack oh see that does i'm sorry but kylie's dude is way hotter than this guy okay but you've picked like the most terrible angle of julius ever anyway he's pretty fucking hot still okay now i just have to sorry now you're hearing us all click away as we like yeah i'm actually this is my search this is gonna be my like what i'm searching beyonce bodyguard hot julius hot yes i just

fucking did my own image search pardon listen i just did my own image search i don't think he's not attractive but he wouldn't give me all the fucking shits and giggles that kylie jenner's bodyguard would i i wonder whether or not like you you hire a hot bodyguard like is this a thing unless you want to be tempted i wouldn't do that i would hire a really mangy looking guy so that I wouldn't want to ever, ever flirt with him. He's so hot. That's danger. He's so hot.

Anyway, everybody… Okay, sorry for that. If for some reason you haven't heard about this yet, which would surprise me because by the time this gets posted, you should know Tim Chong. Yeah. Please go find him on Instagram and enjoy. Yeah. Enjoy.

Yeah, and while you're listening to this podcast, if you need to press pause and just like go to his Instagram and then come back and join us, that would be preferred. He's also a part-time cop. Really? Yeah, I'm seeing him in… He's a part-time cop, a part-time bodyguard, and a part-time model? Like, he's always in this cop uniform on his Instagram. He might be a part-time stripper.

Yeah, and his first, first Instagram photo was with, like, three other cops. Okay. So he might be on some kind of cop team or whatever. That would make sense. He has to have some sort of history. Let me just look at this. Los Angeles police. Okay. Oh, my God.

Like, there's a cop who looks like that? Well, that's why he probably had to get out of the fucking… So he's a cop, a celebrity bodyguard, and a part-time model. Okay. Anyway, I don't know how we're going to do the rest of this. There'll be a show about us. Don't worry. There'll be a show.

What's Her Face? Kris Jenner will definitely try to make some money off of him. And he loves dogs. Perfect. Perfect. Should we get to some questions? Yes. Are you going to be able to focus?

I'm going to need you to close the browser. Okay. All right. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I have, of course, a question I need your help with. I'm 34 and in a long-term relationship and have a very active social life. I pride myself in having really close friendships with my group of girls. Now, I hope this doesn't sound creepy, but there's this girl, let's call her Sarah,

that I would love to bring into my friend group. She's super cool, athletic, and fun. The only thing is that Sarah's friend group is kind of, well, I don't know. They're just horrible. Think Instagram thirsty girls. I'm so bewildered by the fact that Sarah hangs out with these girls because she seems so normal. As I say, I pride myself in the friend group I have.

So while I want to include Sarah in all of our fun, I'm a bit weary that she might not be as cool as I think if she's hanging out with these girls that she seems to like to hang with. Does this make sense? I really don't want to sound like a snob, but I just want to make sure that my group maintains normal people and not insecure vapid people. So what do you do, what would you do if you were me, wanting to make a friend but don't want the hanger-ons that might come with it. Thanks so much, Tara.

So Tara wants to recruit Sarah, but she's weirded out because Sarah has some lame-o friends. I mean, there's one… this triggers a celebrity in mind. So let me just put this… Who? Who is… like, I have a major girl crush on this person. So do you. She's awesome. But, funnily enough, quite like Tara's letter, hangs out with really lame people. Oh, Chrissy Teigen? Yes. There you go.

That's perfect, right? Yeah. So, Sarah is Chrissy Teigen. And by Chrissy Teigen, you mean like basically Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Bingo. Yeah. Because I love Chrissy Teigen with every bone in my body. Who doesn't love Chrissy Teigen?

But whenever I see her with Kim, I'm like, why? Why are you doing that? You're so much better than that. You have to be able to see through that. I don't think that… First of all, I think that the fact that Chrissy is still friends with Kim and Kanye makes Chrissy more interesting because it means that we're thinking all the time, oh my God, is Chrissy making jokes in her head about these people?

Well, she would have to be. Exactly. And I also think it adds something to Chrissy's life, like what she can laugh at. And if you're surrounding yourself with only the specials and not some, you know, quirkiness, I think that's a generous term. Yeah. Yeah, right. But, you know, surrounding yourself with some balance or at least something of the other side, then I don't know. I don't think that you're getting the input and the inflow of perspective that you might need.

How do you know that, like, people don't judge you for being friends with you? Me, exactly. No, because you're not a horrible person like Kim Kardashian is. Some people think I am. You know what I mean? It depends on what your barometer is. Your barometer check. Okay, but I think the barometer, can we at least agree on the barometer for the majority

of like sound individuals that Kim Kardashian, there couldn't be anybody more brutal. Like she's not, she's not smart. She's not funny. She's incredibly insecure. Like, these are all things – she's married to an insane old man. We're all insecure, P.S. Fine. Insecure.

We all have our fucking insecure shit. Okay. But I'm taking it to another level. I'm really having a hard time that you're slightly defending Kim Kardashian right now. I'm not. I'm defending Chrissy. You sure about that? I'm defending Chrissy.

Okay. Like, I understand. Like, well, we have a friend who, like, may not be the most welcome in a lot of circles. Okay. Yes. Copy that. We love her. She's hilarious.

Yeah. And not without her flaws, but somehow we've been able to accept all of her flaws. Yes. That's true. And see beyond that and just have a great time when we're with her. Yes. And I always have a great time when I'm with her. Agreed.

And so this is the comparison. Well, I'm just thinking outside of our circle. Yeah. What do people say about… First of all, what do people say to you? Like, holy shit, that fucking cunt ass, bottom feeding, laney gossip. No one's ever said that to me. Maybe not to your face, but I don't think I've been uninvited to places you wouldn't know.

Okay, fine, fine. Like, Tara doesn't know, or like, Sarah doesn't know that she is a recruit potential in Tara's friend group. Yeah. And that this is what's happening. Okay, fine. Let's stop – I'll stop talking about Kim Kardashian because I feel like I am, like, salivating and trying to, like, catch hydration in my mouth because I can't believe that you were slightly defending that she is normal and or comparing our loco friend to Kim Kardashian. I'm just saying that, like, I don't know that we can come out swinging saying that we'd be welcome to be recruited. We ourselves would be welcome to be recruited into any friend group because I'm not sure we would be.

Right. Because we have some – as like fucking lame as this sounds to say. We have liabilities in our friend group. Is that what you're saying? 100%. Okay. Okay.

So back to Tara and Sarah. Yeah. I still think if she thinks Sarah is cool, as we've just talked about, so if you think Chrissy Teigen's cool, if you think Sarah's cool, you're only losing out if you don't fucking invite her to the fun. Yeah. Whoever Sarah hangs out with and the fact that they maybe are like gross on Instagram is not enough of a reason for you not to want to hang with Sarah if you already think that

Sarah is really great. Like, obviously, if she already has these friends and she's clearly not influenced by them and she's able to be her own chill and cool and do her own thing, then she has already met your standard. I love that this feels so very… It's so… Like, it's so me and girls. A high school.

Yeah. But I love that. But it's fair enough. Because life is… As I always say, life is still high school no matter where you go. Like, it actually gets more high school as you get older. Right. Yeah.

I mean, you're the living embodiment of that because you will not go anywhere without saying who's going to be there. I know. Oh my God, you're right. Yes, but… So, and that's why I'm down with Tara and how she feels about stuff because I like to keep shit tight. I like to keep the people that I'm around and spending my free time with, I want it

to be a pleasure. I don't want to be inconvenienced by someone else. whereas my approach is even if stop you would love to play this angle that you are just fucking like oh god no welcoming to anybody never welcoming but the reason why i'll go if somebody i don't like is going to be there is because i still think it's fucking hilarious to have stories about like the people who and you're a fucking asshole because what will happen is that you won't go no but then you'll want all the info from me you'll be like okay so tell me what happen was was this person so annoying do i do that yes correct facts fine i but i am feeling

tara's vibe because i understand it sounds horrible to read out what she's just said and also verbalize that that's also how i uh act in my life but like you want to keep your friends tight if you if you've worked this hard to keep a good solid friend group then you want to maintain that shit. You want to maintain that shit. Having said that, let Sarah come on in and enjoy the entertainment. Yeah. Maybe don't take it so seriously. Yeah. Have fun. All right. Next question. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. I met this girl Jenna in graduate school and we clicked. We became really good friends and I really liked her husband Andy too. A rarity. I was also on her non-relative invite to her destination wedding. So what I did probably

breached her tight-knit community and trust. We were at her destination wedding, all-inclusive including drinks, for a week in December and the year before I went through a really rough breakup and was on and off for a while. The relationship was very serious and I love the guy very much, so needless to say I was in a very bad place, just drinking a lot and being messy. I'm not trying to excuse my behavior, just giving context. Her younger brother-in-law Jamie was there and brought his girlfriend, whom I didn't know. He also brought his friend Brad, also I didn't know him. I always thought her brother-in-law was cute, but his friend Brad liked me. So I slept with Brad a few times. It was a vacation thing and was never meant to be anything more. I don't

see a problem yet. Nope. Everything seems above board. Yeah. In a drunken haze, I also propositioned the brother-in-law. Not the same time, haha, but a few days later. He said no and nothing happened. Again, even if we did hook up, it was not meant to be anything but something stupid and fun. This is obviously not my proudest moment. I knew I was doing something bad. I have no excuses. So we get back home to Toronto and everything seems good. We hang out a few times until April, then suddenly silence. My texts and calls went unanswered. I'm guessing she's talking about her friend, her girlfriend.

I figured she found out about Brad and me or something. I wrote her a heartfelt text asking if she was mad at me and that I valued our relationship, but I never heard from her. So at this time, we still followed each other on Instagram and other social media stuff. One day, I reactivated my Facebook account and within a couple of hours, she posted something like, quote, you become like the people around you and if your friends are bad people, they'll drag you down or some other shit like that. So this sounded like some sort of attack on me, but I couldn't be sure.

But I knew that if I kept her on my social media, it would be unhealthy. So I decided to delete, block her and her family on everything. So I never really got closure on this other than the fact that we aren't talking anymore. At the end of the year, Brad texted me and wanted to hook up again. I said no because I wasn't in that place anymore. But I did inquire about Jenna. He confirmed what I thought all along. She was offended that I propositioned Jamie.

So my questions are, should I try salvaging this friendship again? Is it worth it? What did I even do that that was that bad? I don't even have siblings. I mean, I thought the sex was supposed to be private, but they shared everything in their circle and decided to out me. I also miss Jenna. We were really good friends, at least from my perspective.

Thanks for any input. Q. Wow. Okay. Okay. So they go on this destination wedding. She fucks Brad, which is fine. But then shortly after, like a day or whatever, she drunkenly propositions the brother of the bride who has a girlfriend with him on the trip. But he says, nah, and she's like, okay, peace. Yeah. And then the friend stops talking to her. Jenna stops talking to her. And now she

knows that Jenna stopped talking to her because she found out. Yes. Yeah. Is there her… Sorry, let me just look back. So, Jamie is her brother? Jamie is… Jenna's brother.

Jenna's brother. No, her younger brother-in-law. Oh, right. So, Jamie is either Jenna's husband's brother. Yeah. Oh, God. What? Okay.

Well, that makes it, for me, less offensive. How? Well, it's not like Q was trying to tap her best friend's brother. Like, that's one thing. That's like, I can understand why some people are kind of grossed out by that. But Q was just trying to tap the ass of her new husband's brother. That's not horrible. It shouldn't give Jenna, like, all the grossies.

That's kind of horrible. It's family. It's de facto her brother now. Keep on going. I'm listening. It's, I, listen, I think that our cue knows that it wasn't like the most above board behavior. No. So there we go.

I imagine then that when you behave in a not that great way, you have to face the consequences. This is probably the worst consequence. You've been cut out from a friendship. And do I think, do I wish Jenna would have called Q and been like, dude, what the fuck? Sure. I think in a perfect world, we all call the person and say, dude, what the fuck? And we work it out and apologies are exchanged. But this, this is a larger web because what's happened is clearly everybody got together

to talk, right? As they do. After the wedding, Brad told his buddy that, hey, I fucked Q on this trip and, you know, we had a good time. And the buddy must have been like, what? Because, like, you know, on the Thursday, she came up to me and she was drunk, but she was like, let's do it. And my girlfriend is like, you know, across the dance floor.

Right, the girlfriend. Right? And my girlfriend's across the dance floor. So wait a minute, like, first she hit you up and then you weren't good enough to, like, you weren't good enough, buddy, to, like, maintain her interest the whole trip and she had to come hitting on me? I don't think Jamie is having that kind of heartfelt conversation. I feel like he's probably, like, they're probably, because they're probably rude dicks, were probably like, oh, what a fucking slut, right? Like, I don't think Jamie was like, oh, my God, Brad, she wanted me to be her sloppy seconds. Sure. And like, if the language was that way, then yes, they're assholes for being misogynistic.

But we don't have those facts. All we do have is that everybody got together, compared stories. And talked smack about her. And now two friends were like hit on by the same woman. And that's number one. Number one, that makes it awkward. And number two, if that had happened, there would have been drama at the wedding, which means that Jenna's wedding may have been compromised. Right. It wasn't, though, for all intents and purposes, that she didn't say that she fucking, like, you know, pulled her dress down and fucking was, like, totally inappropriate that way

and everybody was, like, freaking out and crying. But it wasn't compromised because Jamie said no. Yes. Yeah, yeah. So listen. A, weddings. Some gangster shit happens at weddings, right? Like, people just let their freak flag fly and do really embarrassing things.

One. Two. Two, obviously Q was going through a hard time and she admits that she was not on her best behavior and got totally wasted and did like things that she probably wouldn't have done if she was sober and feeling really insecure and sad about her past relationship. Three, she's really good friends with Jenna. They've had a long history. She's the only non-relative invited to this fucking intimate affair.

You're telling me you're going to cut somebody off? Well, no. Brad was invited to this not very intimate affair and he's not a relative. She said I was the only non, on her side, non-relative side. I just sort of think that that's really harsh on Jenna's side to just like cut this person out without like responding to any emails, like ghosting her so hardcore. That to me doesn't seem very nice. And so when I am trying to piece this all in my mind, if I was on my wedding day, Corey's

brother was there and you were there and you were single for some fucked up reason and you wanted to hit Corey's brother like you wanted to hit some fucking shit up I would never I would be like ew gross what the fuck are you doing I would never uh slut shame you nor would I cut you out of my life if I thought it was like wildly inappropriate I would I would tell you but I would never cut our friendship off for that that's so extreme and weird and also I don't care if you fuck Corey's brother like what the fuck do I care like I don't know why I I don't like he's free game he wasn't he was with someone he turned her down they're both adults would you care if your friend like you had become good friends with Corey's brother's girlfriend uh yeah I but again

I would probably be like oh my god you know Lainey's been going through such a hard time she just broke up some I would I would piece the backstory together I would I I'm not saying that I wouldn't be like, oh, God, what the fuck are you doing, you weirdo? Yeah. But I would never cut you out and I would never fucking slut shame you and I would never do those sort of things. And so for me, I'm like, oh, Jenna's kind of a bit of a piece of shit on this. I don't think anybody handled this well.

So like for me, sort of explaining the other side of it, like what Jenna and her circle of people, I wanted to paint this picture, right? Like we have to at least have both sides. So on the one hand, you have Q who clearly like could have handled her emotions better. Like I understand all of us have been through bad breakups and we've done this to fool. But again, that's the thing. You act to fool, there are consequences. The consequences were that this is how Jenna and her side reacted.

And so we have to balance like everybody behaved badly. There's like nobody's perfect in this situation. And 100%, like you, if I were Jenna, I would have at least had a talk. Like, hey, you really disappointed me at my wedding. That wasn't cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And having to hear about it later and when everybody got together and it all came back to you and your connection to the wedding is me, you kind of made me look bad.

That matters to me. I would have at least had a conversation before cutting it off. So, yes. But here we are. Like, here we are, if we're looking at things from the perspective of a scale, I think the scale is even. Okay, so then what does Q do? Does Q extend another olive branch? I mean, I think what you say is correct in terms of the fact that everybody kind of dropped the ball on how to handle this. so I would give it one last one last

try to see if you can reach out to Jenna and like send her and don't be like I miss you I really feel like we didn't really talk this one through I want to hear your side I want to hear how I hurt you like can we meet up and talk like I feel like that would be a last ditch effort

I position it differently in the sense of what Q wants right now is closure like that's why she's still thinking about it a year later And to help Q get closure, I think that putting everything in an email or a letter or however you kids communicate these days is good to send it off as a last act of closure. I think that that's what you need to do. What do you think she needs closure on, Josiah Crossley? She knows that Jenna, like, ghosted her because of her hitting on Jamie.

Yeah. I think that what, to me, Q, if you need closure, you basically need closure on the fact that you're, you sound a little bit annoyed, right? She's only writing to us. She's hurt. She's like, and at one point near the end of her letter, she's like, was what I did really that bad? Right?

Like she… And so that's why I'm on Q's side. I'm like, you did something bad. You didn't do anything that bad. And what I'm trying to do is put into Q's head how it may have gone down for Jenna. You just got married and then you hear these stories about your friend, the one you brought over banging Brad and then trying to break up the relationship between Jamie and his girlfriend.

Like it's, it's not a good look and that's a connection direct to you. So perhaps Q can hear this and consider that angle if she hasn't thought about it already. And if you want closure, I think the only thing you can do is control how you now see this situation and the perspective you've gained from the last year. And your letter or your email would be like, I'm sorry, here's where I was in my life at the time. I was fucked up and clearly I wasn't acting in a way that was self-caring at all. And because I couldn't care for myself and didn't respect, you know, how hurt and how

damaged I was from my breakup, I clearly did not behave in the best way. And on top of that, I wonder whether or not you might want to say, my other regret is that I should have been the one to tell you what happened. Because that's another thing. Jenna had to find out from other people. Okay, can we… Yes, agree, agree, agree. I guess I don't know why I'm taking Q's side so hardcore, but I'm just like, she knocked

on Jamie's, like, not physically, but she was just like, hey, hey, you want to, like, whatever? And he was like, no, and she backed away. She wasn't like, she didn't, like, stick her tongue down his throat in front of the girlfriend and, like, just make this. I think she, well, listen. She used the word proposition. Proposition.

Yes. So I, listen, proposition can be slipping a note under someone's door or it can be showing up or whatever. Okay. I would have loved a little more clarification on that. I just, I don't really, okay, but continue on. So you say, here's what I did wrong and I've had the last year to think about it and I feel sorry about that.

I hope, or no, not I hope, I wish we could have talked this out so that I could have said this to you in person. I understand now that what I did became unbearable for you and caused you no longer to want to be friends with me. However, I just want you to know that I miss you and I cherished our friendship and I wish you only the best. The end. That's your closure.

Closure in this case means not expecting anything in return. Totally. I hope, Q, you have your pen and paper down and listen to this again and write that shit down and just press send. I think you should absolutely reach out to her and do it in whichever way you feel comfortable. I also just do think though, like to take a bit of your side is I think that, you know, I'm not sure there, I'm not sure a really great ride or die friend would treat someone like that for like a mistake, for like something that really wasn't that huge of a deal.

Fodder, yes. A bit of drama, yes. But that shit's weddings. Like that's, that stuff happens. That stuff happens when somebody is going through a hard time. I think that Jenna was like a crotchety crotch for like totally ghosting you out of her life. I don't think that that was the right way to go. I don't like what Jenna did.

Like I really feel like Jenna should have confronted you and been like, bitch, what the fuck? Yeah. Here's what happened and how I heard about it. You didn't even have like the respect to me and our friendship to tell me. Yes, they should have had it out. Yeah. And they didn't.

So I definitely hear. I'm not saying here that Jenna behaved in a way that was mature or anything. At the same time, though, like, the first blood was drawn by Q. And it's a hard thing to, like, you know, smooth that over. Okay, fine. So on the scales of, like, bullshit, both of them are eating equal bullshit. So I don't know where you move on from that. Like, I wish that somebody could be on a higher level here.

And like look down on the situation and say, everybody, you're more bad than me. So I'm up on a, like I'm one step higher. I don't think we can say that. It's true. Okay. Well, good luck with that. Remember, get your closure by just being honest, coming with all the things that you feel that you did wrong and then don't expect anything back in return.

And your closure can be, hey, I've owned up to my bullshit. I need to close the book on, the door on this now. Because you shouldn't beat yourself up over this for the rest of your life. No. Right? You should have been forgiven. That's my take. You should have been forgiven for what you did because it wasn't the end of the goddamn

world. Well, I will say you should have been given the opportunity to ask for forgiveness. That is what I will say. Fair. Okay, last question. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Hi, I'm Kay. I'm 27.

I live in Europe. I work in the TV film industry. I have been earning this way for two years. I've just started this new job. There are two others on my team, both guys a couple years older than me and the person whose job I was taking was also a man. I'd ask them for help and they'd show me how to do tasks I'd never done before. My producers are amazing, supportive, and helpful, and I have been exceeding their expectations,

their words, and a promotion in the near future has been referred to. However, one colleague in particular has been hating my fast progression. At least that's what it must be. We could be working at computers side by side and he will ask what I'm doing, look over my shoulder, button to what I'm doing, and give unsolicited advice. He also kicks me off my computer that I'm on so he can use it when none other are available, which delays the delivery of my own work. I appreciate him helping me at the start, but now I'm finding it patronizing. I've been there three months. I respond to his inputs by stating the reasons why I'm doing what

I'm doing, and 99% of the time I'm right. If his advice is useful, I will respectfully thank him, but it does cause a lot of tension and awkwardness. Should I approach him and apologize for being defensive or tell him to fuck off, and I'll ask for advice when I need it. I try and make the effort with both of the colleagues on my team, but they're cold, and this passive aggression with him in particular needs to stop. I feel like I'm being dominated. I love my job, but I'm questioning myself and wondering maybe I'm getting too big for my boots or something.

Thank you for your input. Okay, so recap this. She joined a new company in Europe. So she's in the TV film. Yeah. Um, she seemingly in a fairly male dominated industry, which it sometimes is. Yeah. Um, and she's having some beef with one of her colleagues who seems to…

Who was helping her at the beginning, right? And now can't seem to fuck off. He's always, um… Hovering over her? Hovering. Yeah. Trying to give her input. And it's, you know, uh, they seem to be probably laterally doing the same job.

Uh-huh. But he isn't, he's seemingly undermining her when he doesn't, that's not his place to be doing so. Ugh. I mean, doesn't everybody have like at least one really annoying colleague? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, fuck.

That's just like, for me, them's the brakes. Like you just have to learn how to cope with people who are always up in your business. Everyone's always up in your business. There's always that person. I think the added layer of bullshit here is that he's a dude and as most women listening to this would agree with and have experienced themselves, it's when you get mansplained to like over and over again by someone who is, you know, either you're equal or maybe not as proficient.

And that's the added layer here. It's like, fuck you, I can do it. Yeah. You know, and the more she allows it to happen, the more she reinforces the idea or she feels that she's reinforcing the idea that she as a woman isn't as good at the job as a man is and needs to, needs men around for her to be able to complete the task. That is the added, like, I mean, I hear you. There, all of us have been in situations where if it's like woman to woman or man-to-man, that's just so annoying. But I think that what makes this situation unique or not unique, scarily and disappointingly enough, is that this is what happens.

I feel like what she's doing though is the thing that she should continue to do, which is like, she doesn't seem to be like challenging him, but she is definitely owning what she's doing and being like, nope, this is why I'm doing this. And as she said, she's 99% right. Like that is the only way to shut down somebody who is annoying at this level is to be like nope sorry you're wrong I'm right and just keep on carrying on and it fucking I don't think it'll be in her it's not in her best interest to be like fuck you motherfucker stop talking to me then you know that's obviously not the way to go and she shouldn't be apologizing I don't know why those were the two options apologize or tell him to fuck off I think what you're doing is the correct

thing which is to check him at the fucking door every time he thinks that you need his fucking goddammit. Yeah. I think the issue is that she's uncomfortable with all the passive aggressiveness and the tension. Like people are cold to her and nobody wants to go to work and be in an environment where things are awkward and it isn't as fun as you expected your workplace to be. And I have a few things to say about that. One of those things is it's always up to the woman to smooth over a vibe in a room. And I wonder if we're only approaching that point now in the era of like Me Too and Time's Up where we have to get over that. Like, unfortunately, change doesn't happen without discomfort. How about that? Yes.

Like doing the right thing feels hard and is not going to ever be easy. So this passive aggressiveness, this workplace tension. Unfortunately, like I, and I hear you, we as women are conditioned to always like, let's put a bow on everything and let's make it our job to make everybody feel better. And that has been used against us, unfortunately. I'm not saying that that inclination isn't a good one because it comes from a great place. But unfortunately, it's been weaponized against us where niceness is mistaken for weakness. Bullshit. Agreed. I don't think – yeah, and that's what it is too. I don't think it's your – it's not your position. It's not part of your job to make him feel better. You know what I mean?

Yes. And so if it becomes – I mean, you're only three months in, so I really do want to keep that in mind. Three months, everybody is kind of a nervous wreck and like feeling really, really, really, really weird about like their colleagues and stuff, right? Because it's all so new. But if it continues to be a fucking problem and he actually does impede on your work, then you go to HR. You don't need to have, like, I mean, of course you can, you're doing the right things, but you don't need to fix his behavior. No, it's not like that's not on your fucking plate to do. Fix or accommodate. Yeah, totally. So listen, if he's willing to meet you

halfway and, uh, this, we would be having a different conversation. It just doesn't sound to us. Like, he has been offering any gestures beyond being patronizing. And so unfortunately for you, you have to eat the passive aggressiveness. Do your work. You go to work to work. Do your work. That's it. And that's all you can really do. That's all that you actually have control over. Your next workplace will be better. You know, this workplace may not be the one where you make best friendships and that's okay. You learn. Yeah. Yeah. And you're up for a promotion and maybe you'll be his fucking goddamn boss in like another month. So there's that.

Yeah. And then you have to write to us again and we have to figure this all out all over again. Totally. Okay. That's it. That is it. We will be back in a week. We might be a bit…

No, actually we won't be delayed. Okay, good. Because you'll be back from the royal wedding and we'll talk all about Meghan Markle then. Correct. Keep your questions coming to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And check us out on Apple Podcasts, iTunes, Spotify, Google Play. Leave your comments and check out Tim Chant. Yeah.

Bye. We'll be right back.