What's Your Drama - Magic Mike & a Bad Driving Friend

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

Welcome back to another episode of What's Your Drama.On today's show: Lainey is back from Vegas and tells me about all about the brain and brawn of the Magic Mike show. I'm still skeptical, but that's par for the course. Then we move on to your drama! Does growing up mean growing apart, dealing with no bridesmaids at your wedding, and how to tell your friend she's a dangerous driver.We hope you enjoy the show and make sure to send us feedback on twitter at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip and Instagram at @lostandfoundapothecary and @laineygossip. And of course subscribe on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, Pandora, or anywhere you get your podcasts. And keep your advice questions coming my way at sasha(@)laineygossip.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hey what's your drama welcome to what's your drama i'm sasha i'm laney hi how are you welcome back from vegas yeah um i have to listen i did vegas i i'm no stranger to vegas but when like i go to vegas it's very different from the this trip okay i've never been so i'm scared of that vicinity. Okay. The reason why I was thinking of you a lot is because I would have loved to see your reaction, first of all, at the day pool. So you know the Vegas day pool situation, right? Yes. I did see some of your Instagram stories of that. Yeah. I've done it once. I don't think I'll ever do it again. But we happened to be in Vegas for a day pool on like EDM, EDC weekend. No, thank you. So there's foam, right? That means

There was no foam. Oh, okay. There was no foam. And Marshmello happened to be the DJ during this day pool situation. And so it was crazy. But what I loved is that people were so free with their bodies. Like there were some hard bodies. There were some women who were made to only wear bikinis because their bodies

and their asses and it was just their career is to be in that and to be in those environments dancing it would be a crime against humanity

if they weren't in a bikini like these bodies were so beautiful but then there were people who had like bodies like mine and juicy bodies

and all kinds of people all kinds of bodies just feeling themselves yeah not some people were like pale pale pale white yeah

they had in a spray tan yeah and they were still kind of just in the moment enjoying themselves not worried about anything and I kind of

was down with that like they they did to me they didn't look self-conscious they must have been like super high

I don't know but so I would have like you would have loved the people watching because that you love that shit that would have

that would be the only reason why I would ever go with something like that is just to and not to judge but I I love just watching

I love watching people and I actually saw a video of you like just randomly on all fours like grinding it out and I was like okay well done you're in you're in it and you're enjoying it and i think that i've also been day

drinking since but there you're right there is probably a bit of a freedom when you walk in and everybody is just like who gives a fuck exactly yeah i know that because the like the videos that they show in their promotional like i don't know where he says um pop the palm oh okay so that's the mecca um i don't know that it's a mecca like whatever like anyway but i know that the promotional videos that they send out are, they only show the people who were born to wear bikinis. And so you feel intimidated. But I'm telling you, when you get there and it's the real, it's not just those people. Yes. Those people are there. Mostly they work there. But the people who are paying customers are normal people. Normal people. Okay. And like feeling each other.

Gross people are people like just a bit, I just, the element of cheese. And I'm sorry, I'm sure a lot of you listening love Vegas. I just have a preconceived notion of it being really, really, really shmarmy. Was it cheesy? For sure. Okay. Okay. Like, you know, in terms of your standard of cheesy, as in every woman who was in a

swimsuit was also in heels. Yes. Which is so fascinating to me. Heels or wedges, I'm sure. Both? Yes. Yeah. Exactly.

But there were also bachelorette parties where they coordinated their swimsuits in a really cool, cute way. Okay. Like one pieces, black one pieces, and they had messages on them like, I'm the bad one and goody two shoes and I'm the bride. But they were just plain black swimsuits. They were all really cute. Another group had all their bikinis like Playboy Bunny tuxedo style.

so they all had wrist cuffs and collars. Oh God, help me. Were you, was anyone interested in your group? Like while you're looking at like the cuffs? Nobody cared about us. Okay, that's what I wanted to know. You were fucking ragtag. Okay, no one cared.

We didn't have matching shit, like nothing. But my main obsession, which I sent you a video of, was the Asian Kardashian group. Yes. Fucking love them. Like equality, man. Totally. The Asian Kardashians had their own cabana

that was roped off. Um, they, none of them, like no one was over, I don't know, 28. Yeah. They were hair color, like every hair color. Well, what I sent to you back was, oh my God, I forget how supple the Asian skin is because they were dancing and like everything just looks so soft. At one point I thought they were wearing nylons. I was like, why is their skin so like airbrushed?

Perfect. It was really, it was interesting. Yeah. But I was, I was down for the Asian Kardashians. Yeah. So that's number one. But number two, I think I'm going to make it my mission in life in the next two to three years to get you to Vegas so that you can come with me to Magic Mike Live.

Oh, Magic Mike Live. You went there? Okay. Maybe the best show ever. The best show on the Vegas Strip. Like, and let me give you the other adjectives. Smart. Oh.

Funny. Intentionally funny. Smart. Could you, could you backtrack to smart? How old is it smart? So it's really well written. Okay. Exactly.

Okay. I did not know that. So you think, I think most people. I thought it was just grinding. Yeah. You think it's Chippendales. Yeah. Right.

Where like some dude comes out and he just fucking starts pumping. There's like, it's written. There's a script. Okay. There's a plot line. Right. Because Channing Tatum's behind this, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's so smart. And, like, I know people listening to this who have already been, who, like, have written to me and are going to be like, Darlene, I told you so. And I get it. Like, yes, you told me so. I just didn't know. You have to go and experience.

Like, I don't know that I can properly articulate to you how enjoyable and not dirty and really freeing. So it wasn't horn doggy? Fuck yeah. I mean, the guys are so hot. Like, even you. But they're not giving you – are they giving lap dances? Is it half Chippendales, half movie? It's the movie.

So like whatever Channing Tatum does in the movie, but it's not movie one, it's movie two. Okay. And you know how movie two was about the appreciation of female desire? Yes. It was a celebration of female desire and that it needs to be taken seriously and respected. um it was movie too where women are taken seriously and pleasuring women is a priority and um it's not a joke okay um and so it's well written it's funny it's fun like there are times

when you're like oh my god laughing because yeah someone's grinding on a lady from Idaho who's 65 years old and she's wearing sensible nurse shoes and walking shorts, but he's put her up on a piano and he only has eyes for her. And it's so respectful and consensual. They talk about safe words, like they give you a safe word. They don't allow you to tip, like you're not throwing money. What they do is they give you fake money. It's printed like Monopoly money.

And if you want to cheer and have a good time, then you throw it up in the air and you show your appreciation. Also, it's part Cirque du Soleil. So there are acrobats. Okay. There are hot acrobats that do routines that are sexy. Is this a traveling show? Like, will they come to know?

I hope so. Because I don't know if you can get me to Vegas, but you could definitely get me to that show. Yeah. I think that, to me, it really… I would like it to travel. Okay. It is so, again, like the first word I want to use to describe it is smart.

Okay. The safe word is for like the 65-year-old with sensible shoes on the piano. If she's like, no, no, it's too much for me, then she can be like, whatever that night safe word is. Like that night, our safe word happened to be unicorn. So you shout out unicorn and, you know, you're allowed to go down back to your seat. Yeah, Anton will stop grinding on you. Oh, I love this.

Nobody yelled out the fucking safe word. Like, you don't understand. I was… Did you get any action? Fuck no. I'm really sad about that. Yeah. Because I was in the second row.

Next time, I'm fucking booking it for a couch front row seat. Okay, yeah. Oh, fine. If it's traveling, I will go. If you can get us front row couch seats, I will go. Yeah, but are you… I don't know what the event is that we can make this happen, but… Being in the front row means that you are a candidate for like some bumping and grinding.

If I'm like drunk enough, I probably won't care. It's honestly, Sash, it is so smart. I keep using the word smart. I'm a little bit wigged out by the smart part. I know. And, but that, you, it is so great. Like it is just, okay. Every.

How come there were no pictures? Like, how come I have no pictures? You sent me Kardashian, Asian Kardashians, but none of that. Because I had my phone down and I was experiencing. Okay, good. Okay, good. Thank you very much. Living in the moment.

Yeah, I… Here's the thing. I think every woman, every straight woman should go, every gay woman should go, every gay man should go, and every straight man should go. I think it's for everyone. Like, cis straight men should go to figure it out. Really? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Anyway. I feel like this is a glowing review. Okay, I'm sold. So, yeah, that is my Vegas update for you. And I know, I think I surprised you.

Yeah, you really did. Okay, let's get into some drama. I was so horny that night. I absolutely can figure that that would have been the case. They are. Like, it's also… Do you share beds too? Did you have like weird sex dreams and then have to sleep with one of your co-workers?

No, I always take the pullout couch. Oh, you like… It's my thing. Okay. Like, first of all, like I… I can't imagine you sleeping with anybody, like a shared bed. Yeah, I like the pullout. Yeah.

Okay, ready? Yes. Okay. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years now. He's wonderful and I truly love him and can see us building a life together. But as with any relationship, we have our issues. The biggest one being that he sometimes gets too comfortable and forgets to make an effort,

which he has admitted himself. Okay. I don't need to figure… Like, I don't need to keep reading. I already have the prescription. Go to Magic Mike Live. Yeah, totally. There are couples there.

Like a dude and… Oh, my God. Corey would never do that with me. would Jacek? I don't know. I feel like Jacek would. I don't know. Jacek's a better person. He's thinking about it. But the fact that he just would think about it, Jacek, means you'd go. Okay, go on. Okay. Anyway, like I said, I already have the advice, which is go to Magic Mike Live, but I guess I'll keep reading. We currently live in the same city, less than five minutes from each other. However, both of us still live with our families who don't know that we are in a

relationship. We're both South Asians, so dating in our households is still kind of an iffy topic and we don't want to lose the freedom we have now to see each other. This makes it difficult sometimes to see each other, but we've been making more conscious efforts to do so. When we were in college, we practically lived with each other, but now it feels like we took a step back. Now we're both out of college and both working great full-time jobs in fields, which we got our degrees in.

He's mentioned on and off throughout the years that he wants to pursue a career in the film industry. I've always encouraged him to follow this dream. If things work out for him, I know he would be so happy and fulfilled, but I feel conflicted within myself. Recently, he brought up his desire to try to go to film school again and said that within the next four to five months, he would make a decision. Making the decision to go would entail quitting his job now, spending time building his portfolio

to apply to a film school, and then however many years it takes for him to complete his studies. Not to mention the years after it would take for him to complete a project or a few and decide if he wants to make this his career. When he brought it up to me, I did encourage him to do it and let him know it wouldn't be an easy or short process, and he would have to be comfortable giving up his current lifestyle for the next five to seven years at least, but also that if it's something he's passionate about, he should do it.

My predicament is that I think if he does pursue this path, it would effectively put an end to our relationship. I'm not opposed to a long-distance relationship, but I'm worried that ours will die out as it's already an issue that he gets complacent when we live five minutes from each other and have stable lives. We're not engaged, and I don't see that happening for another one to two years if our current path continues, and it would definitely take much longer if he plans on going to film school.

I have my own goals and my own dreams when it comes to our relationship life for the next few years, and I don't want to put them on complete hold as well. Would I be overly optimistic in hoping things will work out or be overly pessimistic in saying that if he decides to go to film school, we would have to end our relationship, which I would be worried would continue to slide backwards? S. Okay. Okay, S.

I still want to go back to… Go to Magic Mike. Magic Mike, yeah. Okay, well, after you go to Magic Mike, what does one do? I don't know. You know what? I'm like trying to come up with something prolific, but all I can tell you is like, I don't know what's going to fucking happen.

And obviously, S is quite the planner by her letter. She has planned out how he's going to build his portfolio, how many years it's going to take, X, Y, Z. I don't know, man. You're young. You're going to have to just roll the dice and see what happens, right? there's no controlling yeah you're you can't control all the factors around how this film school is going to pan out what you plan to do with the fucking rest of your life how he's going

to be when he does move or go to film school listen there's way way way way too many options in the air right now that who the fuck knows and this is part of it when you're young and when you're in like your first really important relationship you want to control it you want to be like, hold the reins and make sure that it lasts forever. Like not to be like doom and gloom, but it's probably not going to last forever just for the simple fact that you're young. Yeah. And this is your first intense love. It's not just that they're young, but being young means that like you're still evolving. He clearly is still evolving. You're still young. And so many opportunities can change the trajectory of your life in ways that are so unpredictable. That's why

we say, you know, being young, sometimes, often things don't work out because things are changing. Things are not set. Yeah. But here's what I'll say, S. A lot of your planning is wrapped up in like ham. She does, though, say in the end that she has her own goals and dreams that she wants to pursue. Right.

So go pursue them. You know, whatever he's thinking about, it's up to him to think about. but you saying I have my own dreams and I'm waiting or I don't know how he fits into it like that's a problem to me yeah yeah I mean I think the bottom line is that he's got to do his thing and you have to do yours and if that comes back around in the next couple years and you're aligned and everyone is on the same page then great yeah but yeah like by no means should you be living your life for him. Yeah. And as for the complacency, now you both live at home, so I guess you guys are kind of being together in secret because of, you know, you're living at home

and, you know, those are your reasons. But to me, typically that kind of makes your time together more exciting. Like it's usually… In what way? Well, if you get to see each other every single day. Oh, you mean you like the Romeo and Juliet part of this? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you get to see each other every day, that's when things get kind of like, oh, I'm not changing into like new clothes. I'll just stay in the same sweatpants and not shower. She's looking at Yasik right now and Yasik's not looking back at her. Hint, hint, motherfucker. I'll just stay in my same sweatpants and maybe only wear proper pants once a month. Like that's normally when you live together. When you don't and you only see each other maybe three times a week and the hours during

which you see each other are, like, limited, like, don't you think it would be a little bit more intense? I know they lived together in college, but when you go from that back to, like, you miss each other. Technically, if you went from seeing each other every day and then now you don't get to see each other as much, you would think that you would miss each other a lot more. And if he's already being complacent, like, do something about that first. Don't fucking worry about the film school and all that shit for now.

Like, worry about what's right in your lap, which is he's boring. Yeah. He's not trying. Yeah. You've really hit the nail on the head there because you are, I don't know, in this letter at least two years off from anything happening. Well, at least a year off from anything happening because he said that he's not going to make a decision for the next four to five months about this.

so in that time of this next four to five months before he makes this decision this is your time to like get in to see if this is even worth worrying about how you would even manage a long-distance relationship yeah exactly lenny like see if this dude can get off his couch and fucking date you while you live in the same town right so i i would to me focus on like whether or not the now of the relationship is worth keeping, like, fuck, forget about the future. Yeah. Yeah. So good luck with that.

And again, don't stress. Like, I know it's so hard, like, two old hag fucking bitches saying to you, like, you have so much time and you're young and that must be so annoying for your generation. I get it. It's not even a generational thing. It's just, like, slow your roll. You can't plan the future right now, you know, without it being, like, all eye-rolly. You have to live in the moment.

And right now, in this moment, your relationship doesn't seem to be exactly thriving. Yeah. Fix for now. Fix what's now. But keep us updated in four to five months when he makes that decision. Okay. Next. Dear Sasha and Lainey, long-time listener from Saskatchewan here looking for some advice.

I'm a newly engaged 27-year-old female. My partner and I have been talking about marriage for a long time and I'm so excited to take this next step in our relationship. The problem I'm having is this. I feel like I have no bridesmaids. When we were talking about marriage before being engaged, it was easy to fantasize about the wedding. But now that the hypothetical conversations are turning into real ones, I'm having serious

anxiety about the prospect of not having anyone standing beside me on my wedding day. A little backstory. I grew up in a very toxic household. I have one sister, R, who is three years my senior, who struggled with depression, suicidal ideation, alcoholism, and addictions throughout her and my teenage years. While all of this was going on, my parents were always preoccupied with her drama and often neglected me. I basically raised myself from the ages of 12 to 18 and did my best to satisfy my own

emotional needs. I also did my best to be the good kid because I didn't want my parents to have to worry about me on top of worrying about R. As a result, I didn't have many close friends throughout high school. I found it easier to keep people at a distance so that they would know as little as possible about my family. When I turned 18, I moved to the U.S. for university. I had a great four years, but still found that I struggled to make deep connections

with friends. I understand now that my upbringing and coping mechanism of spending time alone was largely to blame for the fact that it was inherent for me to keep people at a distance. I had a lot of friends in university, but most of the friendships were surface level and naturally eroded when I moved home. When I was away at university, my sister began reaching out to me more frequently. Gradually, over the four years of being away and coming home for short periods of time, we began to form a relationship again.

When I moved home at the age of 22, I realized I did not have any real friends at home. Most of my distant high school friends had gone on to different paths than I, and we really didn't have things in common anymore. Because of this, I started hanging out with our and her friend group. My sister and my relationship still had problems, and I was often triggered by her drinking, but was thankful for having a friend group, so I pushed that aside. Over the last five years, I've become amalgamated into the friend group. However, most of the good friendships I have are with men in the group.

About eight months ago, I found myself very unhappy with my and my sister's relationship. She was drinking in excess often around me and was a very negative presence. Because of this, I decided to set a boundary with her by not being around her as much, especially when alcohol was present. I realized that my mental health was being affected by our relationship and I needed time away from her. The time away made me realize that I still carried a lot of resentment and anger towards her from our adolescent years, which I've been working through on my own through counseling.

R was not receptive to the boundary and instead took it as me throwing our relationship away We've tried counseling together to work through our differences over the last while but R would often just try to make me feel guilty And sorry for her so I stopped going I want to reconcile with my sister But not until she decides to make changes to her behavior or the way she interacts with me My life is so much better and happier without her being a big part of it And being in the same friend group has caused some other issues When R and I severed most of my guy friends stayed impartial and continued to spend time with both of us

My girlfriends, however, mostly sided with R. I know I wasn't as close to them in the friend group, but it's still hurtful that they have basically abandoned any friendship we did have. I haven't heard from most of them personally since the sever. R had always said that she would be my maid of honor, and I went along because it was the most logical choice at the time. Now I'm at a loss. I'm at the point where I don't even know if I want R at my wedding, let alone being

my maid of honor. I also feel like I've lost all my girlfriends who could have been potential bridesmaids. I just feel really alone. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Will I look back on this day in 15 years and not care about my bridal party or lack thereof? I love my fiance so much and I feel selfish for being upset about this, but I just can't seem to shake it. I feel embarrassed that I don't have people to be around me on my wedding day.

Any help or advice would be appreciated. Thanks, Em. Oh, Em. Oh, Em. Well, you know what? I was thinking while you were reading this, I was like, oh, I'm sad for him. Oh, I'm sad for him. But then I was like, I had a little bit of like a turn in, I don't know, second, third,

fourth paragraph, which was Em knows what's up. She has seemingly seen her situation with clear eyes. She has done the counseling. She's working on herself. She tried to reconcile with her sister and really put in the effort and was like very, very, very aware of her sister's point of view. Like, I just feel like Em knows what's up. So I want to give her credit because she's doing a really, really good job of sussing out her relationships with other people, how she can do better, and where she is currently. So I just want to give her props for that. Yep.

You know, the sister thing is, that one's hard. That one's hard, and I don't want to tell you whether or not you should invite her or not. I feel like you are smart enough to make that decision when that decision comes. And in terms of bridesmaids and this wedding, I don't know. I really feel like people don't do bridesmaids or have that kind of big wedding party thing anymore. Oh, they do.

Well, they do, but there's all… They do. Fine, fine, fine. They do. But there is a movement whereby people are having smaller weddings. They're kind of tossing out the whole traditional bullshit. Everybody has to fucking say a speech, all that kind of stuff. to me that's great if I didn't have to have seven fucking bridesmaids I wouldn't have had seven

fucking bridesmaids it's kind of a bit of a headache um so I mean yes do I want Em to have friends yes and we can get we'll get to that in a bit but if we're talking specifically about her wedding day I think it's it's as simple as trying to like keep it quaint obviously her fiance her soon-to-be husband shouldn't have his what are they called groomsmen like I think it should just be kept just the two of them and that way she won't feel like everyone's like where are all her friends if everything's kept kind of just chill small quaint then I think no one's gonna draw any attention to that well I don't even think who fucking cares like or that or that there you go and the scene like I listen I'm gonna I I feel like and this is I guess um

And with the benefit of hindsight, when I was planning and getting married, I was caught up in Martha Stewart weddings. You were? Yeah. Who are you or who were you? First of all, I think that that's what happens. Like, just as you said, I had to have seven bridesmaids. Like, why?

Because there's this wedding industry. And the weddings… Sure, I'm flipping through Martha Stewart. But okay, sorry. Go on. Well, it doesn't have to be Martha Stewart, like, wedding industry. Remember, I got married way before you. Okay.

I got married in 2001. Fun. And, like, I think you got married, like, a full 10 years after I did. Okay, yeah, fair enough. Exactly. Great. Keep it moving. So, back in 2001, Martha Stewart weddings was the shit.

Was the shit. Yeah. Anyway, thank you, Sasha. But in every generation, there's, like, a wedding industry. And people get caught up in what the wedding industry dictates or subliminally messages your wedding should be, right? And so I think that what Em is feeling right now is a lot of like Pinterest. Yeah, a lot of Pinterest pressure. Yeah. And I get it. It happens to everybody. And I wish people could just be like, is this what I really want? Or is this what I really

want because I've seen it on Pinterest and Instagram? And so this whole part of this is like the optics, right? You don't want to be standing up there and you're going to be worried about like, oh, are people going to be like… All the weddings I go to, there are like two people standing on the side of the bride and two people standing on the side of the groom and that's how it should be and whatever. I don't know. Like it can also be just the two people who love each other who are making a promise to each other. And I agree with you. And Jacek is right. He's cheering right now because I would like a 20th anniversary wedding redo. And I never wanted bridesmaids. I just want a new dress for myself and a new ceremony. And then we're going to go

to Vegas for Magic Mike. And a party. And a party. But we don't need like bridesmaids and grooms. Anyway. But to be quite honest. Back to Em. Back to Em. But to be quite honest with you, if we're talking Pinterest, the trend that I do see is that weddings are getting less and less extravagant that way more people are realizing that shit's a fucking headache and everyone's paring down yeah that's why like i'm just trying to comfort em in the fact that like i really do see that people don't have the traditional bridesmaids groomsmen bullshit yeah they are really keeping everything super simple like no speeches like this is happening because people are kind of over it and they've gotten the word on the street that it fucking sucks to do it the

other way. So for that reason, I'm like, as you said off the top, who fucking cares? Because that's what a lot of people are doing. But on the flip side of it is like, I get why Em, like this just hammers home the point that she's lonely. Yes. Right. It's not like she's like, oh, like how am I going to like collage this in my dreams? It's, oh my God, I have no fucking friends. Yes. I don't want her to focus on the wedding. Like I don't want you to focus on friendships as optics for your wedding. I don't think conflating the two is healthy or a good idea. Like, so, because the danger here is going out to find some friends so that they can stand up for you at the wedding. It's almost like hiring actors. You might as well, right? So that part,

Em needs to work on separately, building new relationships, going out and meeting new people, being open to like new people coming into her life. The wedding though itself, I am hoping Em can ease her anxiety about the optics of who stands up for her versus who stands up for her future husband. And even if he has two groomsmen and she's independent woman, finger snapping on her own boss fucking lady on that side of the aisle. Great. Yeah. Like that's a look too. Yeah. Make that a look. And then have your husband have some crazy ass speech about how amazing you are. Even better. Yeah. I mean, listen, it's all how you visualize it. The way I visualize it, if your future husband had two groomsmen and you just fucking stomped down that aisle and you're

like, yeah, man, it's just me. One is a great number. One is my favorite number. I'm the only child. Yeah. This is very much for you. You would be like that. So I kind of want to give you that pep talk, Em. I want to give you that pep talk because I think that what we're working against is this pressure to have a wedding look a certain way. So yeah, I'm going to design it for you. This is how it's going to look. Hopefully, like, you'll wear some ass kickers with your dress or your pants. I don't know.

And instead of like the dun-dun-dun-dun playing you down the aisle, fucking a Beyonce song is playing you down the aisle and you are so low. Give me a song. A Beyonce song. I love Ego and that would be pretty apropos if you're walking down the aisle to that. But pick whatever the fuck song you want that makes you feel empowered on that day. Yeah. Or what would be your pick?

Flawless. Oh, yeah. That would be good, too. Right. Like, especially the time, especially the line, bow down, bitches. Totally. Yeah. Walk down the aisle, too. That's a really good. Oh, yeah. But don't think I'm just his little wife. Right. Don't get it twisted. Get it twisted. This my shit. Bow down, bitches. Oh, that would be hard. Please walk down the aisle. And like, yeah. And nobody's with you. And that is a look. Yeah, I agree. That is that's going to trend. If you walk down the aisle to flawless, bow down, bitches. I think that will trend on Twitter. And the other thing is I don't want to make you feel bad, but you don't really have any other option but to be there by yourself

owning it. Yeah, I mean, so it's like this is what you have in front of you and you're going to have to just please, please, please enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. Oh, I have a better part of Flawless to play her down the aisle, right? That part where you wake up flawless, post up flawless, ride round in it. Okay. I will not. Sorry, Beyonce. Please don't be mad at me, Beyonce. That was terrible butchering of the song. But anyway. She gets it. Yeah. Like that's the part. This rock, right? Yeah.

Anyway, please let me plan your wedding. I think you already have. But in terms of their friendships too, Em, listen to, I think two podcasts ago where someone similarly wrote about how they felt like they had no friends. And we gave some tips on how to go find some friends, how to kind of break out of your shell. And you're right, too. Like, what's so great is you do have a really great partner.

So the two of you guys can go find other friends so that you feel like, you know, you're not lonely because that's not a good feeling. That's not a good feeling at all. Join a curling club. I'm going to try, like, I think that maybe three years ago I heard about this curling club and I was like, I said to Jacek, I was like, I think we could go join a curling club. And then in my fantasy, I was like, we fucking rocked it. Like, we became the curlers.

The Beyonce and Jay-Z of the curling club. We never went. But I've, like, been thinking, like, I've always wanted to, like, join this, you know, on Tuesday nights or whatever they have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curl at seven o'clock. Yeah. And you curl for three hours and whatever.

Join a curling club. Or play golf or do whatever the fuck. Yeah. And you'll meet people, you have a good time, you'll see people, like, when you join leagues like that, for sure you see them every Tuesday and you develop relationships that way. I mean, it can be more open for you if you open yourself up to those possibilities. Just don't, again, conflate that with the optics of someone needing to stand beside

you. Yeah. It's going to be fine. Don't conflate. You're getting married. Don't conflate and don't conform. Yeah. Exactly.

But we support your other decisions. No, I don't think your sister should be your bridesmaid or your maid of honor. Yeah. But when you walk down the aisle to Flawless, please send me a clip or put it on Twitter because I think it'll be amazing. All right. My God. Now I really want to be a wedding planner.

Do that for your fucking own wedding. Oh, my God. You're right. What do you mean? Yeah, for my 20th anniversary wedding. When's that going to happen? You've been talking about that for a very long time. Sorry, when is that anniversary?

This year, next year? It would be November 2021. Oh, what year are we in? 19? Oh, so two more years. Yeah. Oh my God. Please do that.

Would you come? Would you help me choreograph my walk down the aisle? I don't think you would want me to help you choreograph it, but I just want to fucking be there. Would you not invite me? Of course. Yes. What the fuck are you talking about?

Okay. Okay. Last one. Hi, Sasha and Lainey. Hoping you can help me out with a little inner drama I don't know how to quite handle. My friend, let's call her Martha, is one of my great friends. We've known each other for close to 10 years and I really do adore her. For the majority of our friendship, we haven't lived in the same city until very recently

when I moved back home to pursue my acting career. Since moving back, I've had a lot to do to get settled. New apartment, new neighborhood, and just readjusting on the whole. The last thing I have yet to get is a car, so I've been relying on Martha to drive me around to my auditions. She works from home with a very flexible schedule. But the thing is, she's the worst driver I've ever seen. I white knuckle all our rides. I'm truly terrified. I fucking love this. I know you're

terrified. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, you know, like belittle your terror, but she changes music when we talk in the car. She actually turns around to talk to me with eye contact. She has on numerous occasions almost hit bikers. You get the picture. I'm so scared when I'm in the car with her because I don't know what to do because if I don't take rides with her, she'll know something is up. But if I tell her she's a horrible driver, then I risk hurting her feelings. Maybe I'm just being sensitive, but I just moved back. So I really want to keep everything positive. I don't need any drama off the top. I need all the friends I can get. So how would you two confront this situation? Usually I feel like I could figure this out on my own, but with all that's going on,

I just don't have the right mind frame with all these changes to deal with this. Thanks. Em. Well, I mean, the person I'm going to call out here is our friend Amy. I know Amy's not even listening to this podcast she is legit the scariest motherfucking driver oh my god everything that our writer just said is what amy does amy texts she like literally is filing her taxes while she's driving amy's a producer i'm pretty sure she edits her pieces in the car while she's driving on the freeway it is bananas yeah i always feel like i'm gonna i guess i'm gonna die today this is goodbye world and she's so fucking like nonchalant about it she's like oh let me just there are zero hands on the wheel no hands anyway so the way i handle it when i'm with amy is i go

amy concentrate please don't touch anything just keep driving and then of course she's insulted she's like what do you mean i'm not i'm totally concentrating but that's the only way i'm not going to sit silent and be literally a passenger to my own death yes fuck no when it's your life on the line. Um, and it is because your terror is killing brain cells and life cells. Yes. Like stress is bad for the body. Of course. You're aging yourself. Also, how are you showing up to an audition all fresh when you almost are like having a panic attack before you get there? But you need to speak up at the time, Em. Correct. Like if she's almost hitting a biker, you'd be like, Jesus fuck, Martha. Can you slow down? Focus. Come on. Like, I don't know. Maybe we're

just, maybe other people out there, I don't know. Don't function this way? I don't know. Like, that's what I would do. Well, the other thing I would absolutely do is get a goddamn Uber or rent a goddamn car. So like, didn't have to do that. There's a lot of options out there for transportation. Yeah. So I don't particularly know why Martha. Maybe Uber's not in her town. Okay. There are ride shares everywhere. Although, if you're going to auditions, I'm feeling like this is a bigger city. Correct. Yeah. So, yeah. Like, but maybe she's trying to save money. But I know. And maybe she's trying to, like, have some one-on-one time with Martha. Either way, you have to say something because you don't want to fucking die. Yeah. And you don't want to fucking kill other people

either. This is very straightforward. But I, like, to me… I know you're not in the right mindset, but, like, fucking you have to say something. I think that you should, like, maybe say one thing. Let's say a drive is 15 minutes long. And over the course of the drive, like three bad things happen. You should be able to at least point out one in the back. Totally. You could be like, you just ran a red or whatever. I really think that you should start being more vocal. A thousand percent. And then what will happen is maybe she'll start driving more safely. And then you'll just be the friend who she talks about behind your back, like, oh my God, like Em is such a fucking pussy ass in my car. So when I drive with her,

I drive like a grandma. And you know what? So what? Great. Great. Great. You've earned your reputation as a pussy ass. Great. Amazing. You're an alive pussy ass. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'm just thinking, is Jacek, just because I love to know things about Jacek, is he an aggro driver or no? I'm an aggro driver. You're the aggro driver. Yes. He is an excellent driver.

He's becoming a little more aggro, but like when he yells it, like he just gets really annoyed at people. I think I'm a highly skilled driver. He's more skilled than me. He's like, if there was a normal people driving Olympics, I'm not talking about like F1 or anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a normal people driving Olympics.

I can actually see that. Like, on skill and, like, finesse. He's, like, a sexy driver, too. Oh. Yeah. Next week, important, very fun news. It's the season finale. And our friend Duanna Taha will be joining us.

Yes. So if you have any specific Duanna Taha questions, like, name shit, we'll add one name question in there. Or if there's anything you want to know about Duanna, like, anything. I'm hoping that it'll, we can highlight some personality of Duanna and how like she'll hate to tell us things that we're not supposed to know. These are my favorite things about Duanna. Great.

That we can all bring to the show. That's next week. Yeah. So send us those questions. Send us your comments. We'd love to read them to Duanna. We're going to do a longer episode next episode. So we want to get everything in.

Yeah. So keep your questions coming to me at Sasha at LaineyGossip.com. And subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. Leave reviews and comments. They're really, really helpful to us. We'll be back next week. Bye. Bye.

Thank you.