What's Your Drama - Middleton Fashion Woes & Don't Eff with my Dog!

Episode Date: July 19, 2017

Welcome back to the Sasha Answers Podcast!On today's show: We fashion judge Kate and Pippa Middleton, how to make friends when you feel like an outsider, and kicking a non-dog lover partner to the curb.Thanks for listening and keep your questions and comments coming to [e-mail]. And of course tweet us at @sasha_tong and @laineygossip. Also, do us a solid and leave your feedback on iTunes and Google Play.S.xo  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you keep hearing podcast ads, like this one for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're Acast, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts, choose the shows that match your perfect audience, set your budget, and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at acast.com slash advertise. Hi, it's Lainey, and welcome to the Lainey Gossip Podcast for Sasha Answers.

What's up, Sasha? Hi, how are you? Well, I was thinking about you the other night. I love what you think about me. I was watching Game of Thrones, which I know you don't watch. Nope. But this has nothing to do with the story. Great.

um, there was a comment on male top knots. Like the word top knot was used. That doesn't, that couldn't have existed back then, the word or phrase top knot, but okay. The word for sure not, but I mean. The hairstyle. The hairstyle for sure has been around for a long time on men. Like I think back to Asian warriors, right? Yes. Samurai styles. This person on the show was not samurai. This was like a white guy, right? And the statement that was made by like one of the main characters who's this like big brute guy and comes up with the best one-liners was that essentially, definitively declaring top knots, man buns are shit.

Are over. Over. Not even over, but like bullshit and should never have happened. Oh. So what are your thoughts on a man bun? Because I don't think we've ever talked about this. No, we haven't. And I don't really – I'm trying to think what I feel about it.

I think I'm a fickle little bitch when it comes to it because I would love it on and have seen it on – what's Lisa Bonet's husband? Why am I – Jason Momoa. Jason Momoa. I've seen it. He's been in our studio with a fucking top knot and I'm like, that's good. Yeah, but he could do anything.

Well, that's what I mean. So that's what I'm saying. Him, pass. That looks fantastic. Like he – Mostly, I would accept bell bottoms on him. Me too. Yeah, he could do anything and it would be fine.

Maybe because it seems more authentic, because of his like Maori background. Yeah. That that works. If I just see like a normal non-Jason Momoa guy with a top knot. Like just a guy walking down the street like a hipster. I kind of am. I think I judged. No, I don't judge them.

I just think. Leonardo DiCaprio. No, that is the worst actually top knot I've ever seen on a human. His shit needs to make that look better. He is vile to me anyway. He is vile. And I hate that because I used to think he was so beautiful. But yeah, I'm kind of like, whatever.

I feel like also that was a trend that was hot like a couple of years ago on dudes. So it's weird to see. Like when Ken, when Ken the Barbie doll has a fucking top knot, I think the trend should probably be a pass. So I agree with the brute on Game of Thrones. Okay. Another thing I haven't talked to you about a lot is Middleton style. I'm currently in a rage about… I'm currently in a rage about Pippa and Kate because Pippa got

married not too long ago and then went on this honeymoon and everybody was like documenting her honeymoon style. And then, of course, like Kate's been in Poland and Germany with Prince William and everybody's like, oh, following what she wears. And then whenever she wears something, it sells out. And I'm like, why? It's so fucking boring. It's so snoozy. You're totally right. I don't know. It's like very wedged heels, very below the knee, like business attire. It's all tailored perfectly, but it's, there's no excitement level to it at all. There's no excitement level. And I really wish people would stop throwing around the word icon. Yeah. Oh no. When it comes to people like them and fashion. Cause they have like the two of them, their fashion sense is

like up from the, from the top to tail, from the top to bottom, like their hair is shit. Yeah. Like they're like really old fashioned, not modern, but even not classic, like bullshit hair. As you mentioned, the wedge, like the adherence to the wedge. And like a cork heel, I feel. You know, like wedges also where there's like a wood heel that, like a wood heel is always really ugly. I don't like a wood heel. And I feel like they wear lots of like cork and wood. Well, a wood hat, like the wood heel or the cork heel had its moment. Like, do you remember in 2005 when for four months it was a thing? A thing.

And I get it. Like, fine. But how long ago was 2005? Like, a long time ago. I don't have math skills, but it was a long time ago. Oh, God. But that's what's so hard because I don't know if they're necessarily… That's what I always have a problem with.

If you're not picking your clothes yourself, you don't have a say in it, then you don't get to be an icon. Like, someone like Michelle Obama I know was, like, super collaborative with the designers that she wore. like she wore a really well-known Canadian designer named Tanya Taylor. And I know because I've interviewed Tanya that Michelle Obama was like super, super involved in her look. Like there was strategy, some style strategy involved with that. So for that, like of course Michelle Obama is a fucking style icon. The fucking Middletons are one big snooze fest. Well,

it's interesting you mentioned that because I wouldn't say that if you look at the individual pieces that they're all that different, right? Like, Michelle Obama isn't wearing ass-skimming dresses. Like, her length is similar to… Length is similar, but prints are different. Cuts are different. Prints are different. I mean…

Colors are different. Colors are different. I mean, I would say that Michelle Obama was more experimental and imaginative with her… Especially later. …color. Middleton, though, is always, like, it's a scoop neck all the time. Yep. But it's that, like, sleeve that is capped sleeve.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't even care about Kate. Like, I get that Kate has to be super safe for… And she looks great, whatever. She looks great. And she's fine. It's really Pippa that annoys me.

Okay. Like, there was one day where she stepped out in three-inch heels and the toe was square with a buckle. Yeah. Well, that… But that's… But I guess that's kind of mean. Like, maybe she's just being…

Like, maybe that's just her steez. She's just not flashy and maybe we shouldn't be such fucking giant cunts about it. I'm fine with, hey, like here's a person who's living their life and she just has a shitty style. Yeah. But then don't fucking force me to look at the photos and be like, look at this amazing style. No.

No. Where? But she's not forcing you. Pippa Mildred is not calling you and being like, hey, could you take a look at my dress? She's thinking herself like, oh, look at me. This is how I'm going to dress and it's going to be like, you know, everybody's going to be looking at me. But that shit sells out.

that shit sells out after they wear it. I don't know about Pippa if it sells out. Kate, maybe. Kate, for sure. Pippa, no. Okay. Okay. So we are in agreement, right? Yes. Everybody like yell at us. Yeah. But whatever. They'll just think they're assholes. For once and for all. Yeah. Shall we? Please. Okay. Do we have any phalanges? No phalanges this time around. Okay. A little bit… I think a little bit more serious, but still entertaining. Okay. Let's Let's get to this. Okay. First one.

Dear Sasha. Did they not say dear you? Oh, no. They did say me. Oh, good. You're included. It is me. Okay.

Hello, Sasha and Lainey. I feel silly writing this, but I wanted to know if you could please share how exactly you were not only able to make friends or genuine connections with people, but also how you were able to tell that the person or people you chose were going to be genuine, loyal, and wouldn't harm you when vulnerable. I'm a black 25-year-old woman, and in my quarter of living, I've had, for the most part bad and challenging experiences in this department. I mainly grew up in predominantly white spaces with white kids and adults who would either laugh or minimize certain experiences

or try to understand my perspective before giving up and deeming me and the exercise as too difficult. I've been able to meet other people of color in undergrad and now grad school, as well as some other white students and people, but haven't really had much luck there either. I can't necessarily relate to interests and some perspectives outside of connecting on what it's like living in a specific environment. For example, I've never been on a date, had a boyfriend, or have much interest in either right now, and as a result, just like to stay quiet when those conversations come up. What would I have to add? In any way, when I answer honestly, I'm called weird, a lesbian, and dull. If I take them to task for using a sexual orientation as

an insult, or ask why they feel so comfortable drawing all these conclusions from a single answer, I quickly find out I'm not really welcome there either. My parents, African immigrants, say, there's no such thing as friends, just people who want something and rarely reciprocate. They also won't hesitate to desert you and stab you in the back. They feel the only thing I should focus and depend on is an education and a job because my degrees and money won't hurt me, and friends come only when you're successful. When I point out those don't seem like friends, they respond, that's the point. I envy your friendship with one another. You can argue, tease, talk about your bodily functions. Hi, Lainey. Hi. Yet trust the person will have your

back and essentially be your person or one of your people. How did you do it? How's it done? I'm fine continuing to kind of self-isolate and keep people at arm's length, acquaintance level, but if there is another way to function, dot, dot, dot, thank you. Do you keep hearing podcast ads like this one, for example, but always wonder how you actually get involved with them for your own brand or organization? Well, it's easier than you think. We're ACAST, and we give you the platform to do it all yourself. Browse thousands of popular podcasts. Choose the shows that match your perfect audience.

Set your budget and launch. And if you want a hand, our podcast specialists are there to help you launch with confidence. This is podcast advertising without barriers. Get started at ACAST.com slash advertise. Oh, well, this is a really nice, honest letter. so thank you. Do we have a name? I'm sure you, if not, you would love to make one up. I don't have a name, but why don't we call her Nicole? Okay. Okay. I feel like we should unpack this paragraph by paragraph almost. Okay. There's a lot, it feels like each paragraph has

something that we could tackle. Yeah. So Nicole is 25 years old, she's black, and she's had really, well, challenging, she says, experiences making friends because she grew up in white spaces with so very few people who understood her background and her specific worldview, which that's another paragraph. So when you drill down there, yeah, like of course you make yourself vulnerable, but at the same time, these people don't seem like they're actually appreciating your vulnerability. In fact, they feel, it seems to me like they're taking advantage of it. Yeah. And there's another layer, which I think we've talked about too, which is like when you look at yourself and you look at the people that you're with and you don't look like

them, right? And then that poses a challenge sometimes too that also adds like a bit of a divide. But then I would say like, you know, Kathleen talks about her experiences as a black woman a lot. And something that, like, I know that she does is she really engages her community, right? And I think that there, like, I know that there is something called For Brown Girls. That's something in Canada. So I don't know if our readers in Canada, but if she is, that's something that she could check out. It's forbrowngirls.com. And so it's, they say that they're a bridge between black and everything. It's about networking and socializing. So obviously, this is just one place in Canada that does it. But for sure, if you did a Google search,

you could find people that you would have more interest in or dealing with the same kind of things as you are. Yeah. And you also mentioned, Nicole, that you were in university or you're doing your post-grad right now. Let me just check. So you're in grad school. And I'm not sure where you're going to school, but in my experience, most universities have certain student unions. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You know, when I went to Western a long time ago, there was the Chinese Students Association. I also know that there was like a Korean Students Association. And I was involved with the CSA, the Chinese Students Association. And my understanding that right now at Western, which is where I graduated. And this is obviously not where Nicole is going,

I don't think. There is a black students union. And so one of my first questions would be, have you reached out to the student union and which student unions at your university? And if that could be an option as well. Yeah. But by and large, the people who have made you feel other Yeah. Aren't worth it. Dicks. Yeah. Total dicks. Bag of dicks. Yeah. And that's not – I wouldn't say representative of like all, you know, the people that are going to your university. There has to be some non-dicky people there. There do. But I do get it that there are a lot of dicky people. Yeah. And this continues to be why we keep talking about the value of different stories and why other stories need to be heard in addition to the fucking status quo stories

that we're getting told over and over again because when we don't meet people who are not from our background and who don't have our experience, then it's harder and harder to empathize. Totally. Like, I think immediately of the power and beauty of a film like Moonlight. Like, am I a young black man who grew up in a cycle of poverty? No. Am I a young gay black man?

No. But I saw in him things that certainly I could relate to, loneliness, the desire to be accepted, the desire to be yourself, the fear of not being able to be yourself. But I'm lucky. You know, I found my people. He didn't. And Chiron was, you know, trapped in this where, I mean, I'm not going to give you the whole storyline of the movie, okay?

But, you know, when Jacek and I went to see the film together, Jacek is also not a young black gay man living in South Florida, but we left the film thinking, hopefully so many people, more people can see this film because, and more films like this can be made and stories like this can be told so we can begin to familiarize ourselves with different narratives and different stories. What left you thinking, right? Yeah. Thinking, period. Like unfortunately all the people who have been unkind to Nicole are trapped in such a narrow existence. And I'm not, I don't mean to excuse them. Like that ignorance is inexcusable. And like, you know, Jacek is over here as, as, as the white guy saying, like, is everyone a bag of dicks? And to a certain point,

To a certain extent, I understand, like, we can't be like, oh, since not everybody has been, had their eyes open and been able to grow up with a diverse group of people, certainly some amount of understanding and patience… There needs to be room for that, right? There needs to be room for that. My concern with specifically Nicole's situation is you're already a black woman who has endured microaggressions. You're different. Why wouldn't you have known that? Or, you know, what's it like for you? So when you have already endured so many microaggressions, and Nicole,

like what you've described is like a series of classic microaggressions, that's the term for it. When you have already endured all these microaggressions, I understand how it would feel frustrating to be like, so I already have to take these microaggressions, somebody pointing at my hair and saying it's different and wanting to touch it and asking me about my food and where I'm from and what kind of last name it is. And then I have to swallow that and then still have to turn around and be patient and educate you and, you know… I understand, like, it's hard for me to give that advice because I would never want

to put someone in a position to be like, hey, even though microaggressions hit you every day. Still, can you walk around with understanding and patience? Everybody would appreciate that. And it's, and you're right, it's a fine line, but there are people who would gladly want to educate or talk about their culture. Like I don't, and I get it, microaggressions, for sure, for sure, for sure. I agree. But if someone came up to me or someone came up to you and was like, oh my God, what's that food you're eating? Let's say it was congee, which is just like fucking boiled rice with like fish or whatever. Would you find that insulting or would you be like, oh, it's like fucking what my people eat. It's like fucking delicious. Like,

wouldn't you have that as an opportunity to discuss like what your food was all about as simply as that? My first instinct would be like, if you had come to me and asked with a certain tone, like, oh, hey, I've never seen that before. Like, what is it? Then I would be like, yeah, no problem. But if you're like, what the fuck is that? I've never seen that before. Then number one, that's your microaggression. Why should I turn your microaggression into a learning opportunity? Like, I feel that we, you know, let's… to me, I would like to find some sort of balance between communication but putting the burden on people who have already been victimized in big and small ways to have to then give back. I don't know that that is fair. And as it applies

to Nicole, in this case, what she's saying is she's been around all these people who have certainly… it doesn't sound like they have given her the benefit of the doubt to ask a question in a respectful way where she feels comfortable in being like, oh, actually, you know, this is where I'm from and this is what my background is. In fact, she feels like, you know, whenever she shares I don't have much sexual experience or this and that, she's called a lesbian. Well, but that's almost different. Like, that's why I feel like with confidence we can say these group of friends that she's hanging out with are a bag of fucking dicks is because it's not even this specific thing that she brought up isn't about race. It isn't about background. It isn't about culture. It was like, all of a sudden, just because you're not dating someone, you're a fucking lesbian or a bore. Like, these people sound heinous. Like, no, you shouldn't even be attempting to put any more effort in that. friendships are fucking really hard to build, really hard to find. But don't go fucking digging

in bullshit dirt with these people, right? Like move on, find other people, find other interests. And that's what I was saying. That's what we're saying at the top of this, which is like, figure out what your interests are, what your passions are, who you want, who, what the type of person you want to talk to and find that. Because that's what's so amazing about what's going on right now is there's so much knowledge to reap from different groups. There's, there's all these pop-up kind of grassroots things that are happening that you can absolutely find them. If you can't find them in person, you can sure as shit find them on the internet and

meet up with these people. Like, this fucking… people do this all the time. And so that brings us to the next paragraph, which is, I think, about her family and their, like, their pounding of how friendship is not a good thing and friends backstab you. That is not the case at all. But, I mean, I would glean from this experience given that she said that her parents are African immigrants and they… They've been treated the way…

Yes. That's right. Of course. So they have… they've built up some scar tissue. Like, that's their calluses talking. And so for them, this is what they internalized after moving to North America, I'm presuming, and seeing that people were obviously rude to them and they haven't had the experience of generosity and kindness and understanding.

And so I get it. And then in their case, they're like, protect yourself, be educated so that you can always have the things that you can rely on. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to sort of, I disagree certainly with the parents approach, but I don't want to shit on them either because I understand from a place of love. I don't want to shit on them either. Of course.

But they're wrong. Like she can't self-isolate. That's not, that's not, that's not good. Like being lonely is not the answer to not wanting to be not lonely. Like that's the whole deal. She's reaching out because she's like, I'm fucking lonely and I want some fucking friends. How do you do it? And to, and yeah, you're right.

Like obviously her family has endured like some serious bullshit and they don't want to see their daughter go through the same thing. but that's just not the case. Like, she needs to continue to search for nice people because they're fucking out there. Well, I really liked your suggestion about what interests she has, Nicole. I mean, you haven't really said much about what you're into. It could be Harry Potter. It could be anime. It could be fashion. And I feel like the first start to meeting people, like, this is such a duh thing to say, is what common interests you have. You know, if we're drilling down, let's start there. If we can get to what common interests there are,

then I would then follow where your interests take you. So if it happens to be Harry Potter, or if it happens to be Game of Thrones, or if it happens to be baseball… Basically, Lainey just wants you to be her friend. She's showing you her interests. Yeah. But you know, you're right. If it happens to be baseball, if it happens to be anything… Fucking cheese making. It doesn't matter. then there are those people out there. I mean, you're not the only one. And as long… when you find those people, then that's your starting point. Like, that is your zero point of where

you can build. And then we can… if we encounter microaggressions, then we can think of a way to help those people be not dicks. Totally. In a positive way. Yes. Agreed. What's hard though is the more I speak to friends I have, people of color, it's harder and harder, especially in this environment where certain social movements have emboldened horrible behavior, is they might know somebody very well and things are fine, but… and you've known them for years and then all of a sudden something happens and a particular conversation goes down at dinner and you find out, oh, they're all Lives Matter people.

Yeah. Totally. And that's what stings, right? And I'm not saying that this is what she's been through, but it is sort of what many people of color are experiencing right now. It's bubbling up. And it's a hard thing to stay friends with. Like, what do you do when you sit across from somebody and all of a sudden they're like, yeah, all lives matter. Yeah. Well, okay. Thanks. Thanks for coming. That's what's hard about friendships right now. It feels like that. Like I don't, I almost stray away from those topics because I'm like,

I don't want to hate you. I don't want to know this about you. Yeah. I don't want to know this about you. Yeah. So I hope this helps. I hope this helps you, Nicole. But like, yeah, I don't want to, it takes work to find friends. And also I would also like to say like as I've gotten older, I've realized that I don't – having, like, a big group of friends, like, having 20 people to call is fucking exhausting and I don't like that anymore. If I have, like, fucking two friends that I can really rely on, literally fucking one, actually, I am good. So if you find one and I know, Nicole, you can find one, then you're fucking golden. Well, you sound like, you know, how – I want to – like, I'm trying to be friends with you. I'm trying to, like, date you.

Yeah, no. Yeah, it's fucking desperate. So, like, literally just email Annie and she'll be your one friend. But, yeah, let's start from the beginning. Let's figure out what your interests are. And if you want to write back, we can do a follow-up. Let us know in your follow-up email what your interests are. And then we can start from there for you looking for communities that are like-minded.

Yeah. But good luck. Let us know. We look forward to hearing from you again for part two. Okay. So, next. Dear Sasha, I'm single and childless in my early 40s

Earlier this year I broke up with a long-term boyfriend That breakup was very painful and drawn out Shortly thereafter, much to my surprise, I met a great guy My age, good looking, successful, funny, childless And we have the same cultural background We have a lot of fun together Whether it's going to a concert, a movie, to dinner or a party We greatly enjoy each other's company and the sex is fantastic

We've been dating for almost three months Woo, okay Wait, wait for the but now But I know, I know Okay I also have a Cocker Spaniel that's been my rock for the last 10 years. She's been there for me through cross-country moves, through joyful events, and through

deep heartache. I love this little dog like I do my human best friend. She's very sweet, gentle pup that loves to snuggle, which tugs at my heartstrings even more. I do my best to take the very best care of my dog. In fact, she has better health and spa care than I do. The problem with new guy is that he can be a dick when it comes to my dog. He refers to her as a mutt, has literally kicked her off my bed, and makes comments

about her being gross and smelly. She gained a little extra weight recently, three pounds, which I'm trying to work off. He makes fun of her for being chubby. He says that he does say… he says that he says these things to push my buttons, and he laughs when I defend my dog. He thinks it's cute that I get upset with him and that I'm protective of my dog. Recently, my pup became very sick and I took her to the ER. Thankfully, she only had a stomach virus, but her symptoms had me very worried that

she had something serious. He constantly texted throughout the day to ask how she was doing and to ask what the vet said was wrong. The fact that he inquired after her well-being really endeared him to me, at least for a short window of time. Fast forward three days later, my dog's on the mend, doing much better, and he texts me to ask what I'm up to and I reply that I'm walking the dog. He then proceeds to text me eight texts on the subject of her weight.

So he's fat shaming her dog. Is this what has happened? Yes. He told me that I should walk her for three miles, that she's in terrible shape, that she needs more exercise, that she needs to slim down for her well-being. I texted him after the third message to say, don't be mean, but it didn't stop him. Mind you, my dog does have three pounds to lose. After his eighth text, in which he attached a Google image of a dog on a treadmill followed

by an LOL emoji, I replied with the following, you're a fucking asshole. This happened one week ago and we have not spoken since. My questions for you, did I overreact? I don't think I did. However, other than his attitude about my dog, I really do enjoy his company and found myself growing to care for him. I could picture a long-term future with him. Do I owe him an apology for hitting below the belt?

Or is his behavior and attitude about my dog a deal-breaker? Thank you. I feel like the answer to this question is going to be divided among non-dog people and dog people. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Okay.

So he fat shames her dog, but he did care. Like when her dog was in trouble, he was concerned. Yes. Sometimes he kicks the dog off the bed and calls the dog gross and smelly. Yeah. Okay. As dog owners among us, it is true that dogs can be gross and smelly. Yes.

Like, we have two dogs. Yasik and I have two dogs. Yep. One is… One eats its own shit. No, one not only eats its own shit, it eats all dog shit. It follows other dogs around, putting his mouth underneath their assholes and waits for the soft serve to be delivered into his mouth.

Okay. Um, Jacek defends this dog relentlessly. Like, his name is Elvis. Elvis is nasty. Okay. Like, he… But Elvis doesn't smell like shit right now. Um, when…

Elvis… Elvis… Elvis doesn't smell like shit at the moment. When he eats shit, he smells like shit. But also, Elvis does have a strong musk. So I will say that, you know, if some person like smelled my dogs and were like, oh, they're smelly, I don't think I would be offended because they can stink. Because your dogs stink?

My dog doesn't stink, but I am like a new dog care person. And I remember living with one of my roommates in university and she had one of those bulldogs and it would like rub its anal glands all over the fucking floor and it fucking reeks. So she would have to squeeze the fucking butt buns. Yeah. Butt beads. and it would release fucking foul shit. I thought the dog was fucking gross.

I'm sorry. It had like leaky eyes, a leaky mouth, and a leaky ass. Bulldogs can be like funky smelling. And I didn't like it. But I love them. I didn't. Our whole apartment reeked like it's fucking asshole. And I didn't like it.

And so I kind of understand that if you're not a dog person, you're not used to fucking shit smell and fucking wet dog smell. It's kind of gross. Having said that, I fucking love my dog. And if a guy was like kicking my dog and saying it was like gross and fat, I fucking hate him. But, yeah, I have the flip side of it, understanding that not everyone's a fucking dog person. So, did I think she overreacted to call him a fucking asshole?

Yeah, because you really actually shouldn't call anyone a fucking asshole if you're dating them. And, like, that's just kind of rude. Wow, really? Eight texts? Eight fat shaming texts? I think he's probably one of those, like, boy humor guys. Like, like, Jacek. Like, see, I said Jacek and he pointed to himself.

Like, who would think that sending a dog on a fucking treadmill would find that fucking hilarious? So he's kind of probably one of those, like, immature jokesters. Jacek is full of shit because I sometimes fat shame our own dogs. Okay, so you're this guy. Where I'm like, Barney's fat and whatever, and he'll be like, stop it. Don't say that to him. And…

No. Yes. Uh-oh, we're having a domestic fight here. So I… I feel like she should apologize. I think she should apologize for calling this guy that she's dating a fucking asshole. Like, that's just not appropriate behavior. Okay.

Let me put this to you this way. Given the way she cares about her dog and her relationship with her dog, would it be okay if a woman had, like, a five-year-old or ten-year-old kid and she's dating a guy and the guy was like, huh, your son's a chub. Right. How about your son going on the treadmill? Right. I understand.

Yeah, how many peanut butter cups has your son had today? How many peanut butter cups? I love that that is a gist. Should I take your son to this pool? Right. Maybe swim off some of that lard? Right, totally. I don't know why I'm talking in that voice, but you would never do that with somebody's kid.

No. And I'm not saying that he isn't wrong, but I think that there's an opportunity here to apologize for her behavior and but also hold him accountable for his behavior and be like listen this is like my fucking child i really don't appreciate you making fun of um miss this dog of mine um i understand that you find it fucking hilarious but i don't so can we start over just don't talk about my dad don't fucking fat shame my dog anymore and we're fucking good let's fuck it actually date now let's talk about human shit and not about my dog listen i'm not saying that she should, you know, completely cut this guy off and they should never speak again.

But I wouldn't say the apology has to be that. Like, he needs to understand too. Yes. Yes. You know why… But I don't think it's a deal breaker. That's what I'm saying. No, no.

It's not a deal breaker. The reason I brought up this comparison and, yes, like, there are some people who are like, don't compare dogs and pets and children. And I get that. The reason why this comparison is apt is because when you're calling someone's dog fat, The underlying implication here is that you're not a great dog owner. Right? Right.

So that is… you're not actually insulting the dog. You're actually making a judgment on the owner. Are you lazy? Don't you walk your dog? What are you feeding your dog? Are you being responsible? Why are you compromising the dog's health? That is a judgment on her, not necessarily on, like, Rover.

Right. Yes. I agree. Agree. And that is why I'm bringing up this comparison. And then that's why she needs to have this discussion with this guy. He obviously has never probably grown up around dogs, doesn't really understand the bond that she has with this like her ride or die pup.

So she needs to explain that so that maybe he has some fucking empathy and holds back on the text. But I don't think – but again, I do think she needs to apologize for calling him a fucking asshole. And I think she needs to just like chill a bit and find some common ground with him. And if he's down, then continue on the relationship. If he still thinks like her dog's disgusting. What does the apology sound like?

Can we just word this for her? Like, she sends a text back or she calls. Does she say straight up, hey, I'm sorry for calling you a fucking asshole? Yeah. Okay. I would word it differently. Okay. What would you say?

Of course you would. Okay, go. Hey, I shouldn't have called you a fucking asshole. Yeah. So I would like to, you know, say that I shouldn't have used that description of you. Okay. I was upset. Okay.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. But I was upset. I wouldn't say, you know, if you want to throw a butt in there. Listen, you're all about apologies. You always fucking rant on your site about if you're going to fucking apologize, apologize properly. Yeah, but she has to apologize too. Yes, I know that. But as a fucking adult, she should just take ownership and say, I am sorry that I fucking said that. Well, I'm getting there. No, you're not. I'm getting there. Because to me, this is the entryway to opening up,

Like, seeing if he would be open to being like, yeah, okay, I didn't understand how sensitive you were about your dog, so I'll work on that too. And then she can be like, okay, I'm really sorry. Okay. But I feel like I don't want her to go in being like, I'm wrong, which gives him the idea that, you know, he doesn't need to take any ownership either. Okay. Because in this situation, I don't know that she was like, she needs to assume 100%

fault for the entire situation. She needs to just say sorry for that little part. Her words. Yes. I love how you're like, oh, words, tiny speak. Okay. But the whole situation is a 50-50 situation. Okay.

I agree. I agree. Yeah. Don't start with, and I'm sorry. Just be like, I should have used different words. And then if it comes to you with understanding, then you can offer that. The apology. That's right.

God, you're a manipulative little woman. Okay. Not manipulative. I just want a story. No. lots of great strategy here I hope you take that our reader

I don't even know her name but hopefully that helps so just keep on going like at least attempt to to mend to mend this relationship

our best to your little dog yeah what a fat little fucking dog thanks for writing in keep your questions coming to Sasha at LaineyGossip.com

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